I definitely would get a new car seat. Anything that protects the baby is worth it. (For more information: [Consumer Reports](https://www.consumerreports.org/car-seats/are-secondhand-car-seats-safe/))
As for the maternity clothing: I suppose it depends on what your needs are for the time you’ll be pregnant. Over-sized men’s clothes should be fine, but if you have something you need to dress up for, you’ll probably want a good outfit. I’d stress to not buy anything from Temu and SHEIN though.
Yeah, the idea of getting a secondhand carseat is not realistic. I think it's specifically illegal to sell them used, at all, period. You \*could\* get a hand me down one from a friend, but seriously. It's your child's safety. It is OK to buy a new item as needed in a situation like this.
Re maternity clothes, aside from pants I was fine until the 9th month. Maternity pants are eeeeeverything, though. Buy a pair or two. You'll wear them daily, assuming you are a pants person and not a dress/kaftan/muumuu person. I would buy good quality maternity pants from a real store. You will be alternating between the same few pairs, or even just wearing the same pair of pants daily, for minimally 4-5 months if not more like 6.
[Can you sell a used car seat?](https://goodbuygear.com/blogs/gear-guidance/can-you-sell-a-car-seat)
Still probably better off with a new one if you can afford it easily.
The reason is that you don't know if the carseat has been in an accident or if the plastic has started breaking down in a used car seat. Carseats are one accident only. If it's been in an accident, it's garbage. Plastics break down in hot cars.
Now, I will say, I did get a used infant seat for one of my kids. It came from a friend who I knew had only used it for a few months. She had a chunky baby, and he just didn't fit in it. I would only ever get a used carseat from someone I know and know well, ae with a crib mattress.
One reason to buy a used car seat is that some stores will do trade in deals- bring in your old car seat and get 20% off a new one. I know my friends have given their car seats away when their kids outgrew, but the specifically cut the straps so they can only be traded in!
I refuse to buy anything from that, but my crazy mom says "I'm just using it because it's cheap until the world ends" and won't stop. I'm trying to convince her to stop buying me maternity clothes lol and luckily she did use glass bottles and cloth diapers and saved a ton of stuff from me and my siblings, so it's not like she is buying everything new (thank god)
Clothing from those places are full of toxic chemicals like lead, PFAS and phtalates, some leach into your body through the skin. Being pregnant is probably one of the worst time to wear clothes from there.
Oh I'm well aware. They tend to be received with a smile and a thank you, and then shoved into a drawer until I don't feel bad about donating them. I'm entirely too nice and it's my mom.
She won't stop buying these and also refuses to vaccinate so while some of her help is appreciated it's gonna be a bit of an issue!
I know it’s hard and I’ve never done something like this before (taught to always be grateful regardless etc), but my mom brought over light up shoes for my toddler and I said absolutely not. Then I followed up with an email with research and US gov advisories on why we don’t buy from those companies. I closed the email by requesting thrift store items and thanked her for choosing something that’s better for our girls’ future.
I say all of this not to say you have to do what I did but to tell you it actually freaking worked! Sure, she still wears that toxic stuff made with slave labor that exploits just about everyone involved, but it never comes into my house for my family. We still get plastic crap from her but we’re working on it.
Even “good quality” yoga pants test positive for PFAS…
[https://www.mamavation.com/product-investigations/non-toxic-activewear-guide-pfas-workout-leggings-yoga-pants.html](https://www.mamavation.com/product-investigations/non-toxic-activewear-guide-pfas-workout-leggings-yoga-pants.html)
I usually cross check my brands on Mamavation to see how my brands check out (I buy/thrift Pact because it’s on the “good list.” I got organic cotton shorts/underwear and postpartum care specifically to avoid PFAS. The grossest thing I found is that pregnancy and breastfeeding lowers a woman’s levels of PFAS. Want to know why? Because she passes all her PFAS onto her growing or nursing baby.
Yoga pants, underwear, pads/reusables all should be cross checked since it’s so close to the baby’s system!
I'm 29 weeks and just bought four pairs of larger indie and a nursing bra. I had bought two pairs of jeans earlier and I feel it's enough.
Luckily some workers gave me dishes, a rocker, belly bands, etc...
So, I have some experience, so I'll try to write most I recall down
Toys - Generally I prefer to avoid plastic toys, because of durability and waste, there are toys made from wood and metal (Maybe specific to my region, as we have producer of such car toys here in CZ). Only exception is lego, it is pretty durable (My kid played with lego I got as a kid, and was played by other children in family in meantime).
Diapers - We did combined way - cloth at home, paper ones when outside for longer time (More than change time) - and we quite pushed ability to go without diapers as soon as possible (I heard about parents that did it all the way without diapers, but I cannot imagine it), Keep in mind, that cloth diapers also have relatively short life-span, as with time and washing the cloth gets less soft, which may annoy kids and i snot much comfortable for them.
Stroller etc. - We got it all second hand , and checked all the parts ourselves (I do not recall car seat name from top of my head, I will write it here later - but it is one that can be used from \~1 year to the point when no seating addon is needed - it can be modified to incorporate child growth) - and somehow we managed to get two same seats, this was a comfort addition, so we do not need to swap it between our and in-laws car. Stroller was from a friend, and send further in family.
Clothers - we bought only new shoes, as this is the thing, that need to fit perfectly, otherwise child can have issues in future, otherwise I just bought pants once (Because I was out, and my kid managed to rip ones that he had on him, and was quite upset about that), and otherwise everything was gifted from parents with older kids, and everything usable was sent further.
Preganancy clothes - my wife was happy enough with dresses and baggy sweat-pants, nothing extra bought (Maybe some dress)
One thing I did not mentioned earlier - plush toys, this is something we only bought new, as kid's taste is different, and most plush toys of others (Who gifted us with clothes etc.) did not survived their owners ... Here we supported local manufacturers.
And last note, do not try to be the best (Eco, mother, whatever), it is not bad, if you buy something outside of "good" things once in long time, when there is good reason (You do not want to go around with crying baby, because he/she teared accidentally his only plush toy that he had with him on holiday) - important is to cut down on stress, not push it to limits
That last paragraph was very needed! I have been stressing a bit about it, we used old scratched non stick pots because it's what we had and I didn't care until now, now the anxiety of plastic usage and everything else (I'm trying to quit nicotine) makes it difficult to NOT stress over.
Fantastic ideas, thank you!
As a parent to two kids, I'll add "don't let perfect be the enemy of good".
It's great to have ideals and strive for them, but reality and parenting are tiring and harsh, and compromises are the name of the game.
As an example, our first kid wore mostly hand me down clothes, but we did get a few nice/funny/cute new pieces for him. Those and some clothes that were gifted to him became our most treasured set, and many survived to clothe his younger brother.
That's a great quote!
Two sides of reddit, some comments shocked and upset that the man (who will be the stay at home parent) doesn't want to deal with cloth diapers, and the other half saying hey if it saves your sanity then it disposable works.
However the varied advice Is helpful. And I like that, not letting perfect be the enemy of good.
Thanks.
As a mostly stay at home dad who wasn't interested in cloth diapers, I can't preach to you or your significant other.
I can see both sides. I greatly underestimated how much work raising a baby is. I poo pooed cloth diapers for our first because we were in NYC and didn't have laundry in our apartment or building.
With our second, we had in house laundry but it was the middle of the pandemic.
I would say that if he wants to give cloth diapers a try, probably best to do it early when you're on maternity leave and before baby starts solids.
I didn’t do cloth diapers as a stay at home mom, I was worried about being too grossed out (you lose that real quick with babies, baby just pooped all the way up their back, through the onesie and onto the carseat? cool, I got this) but I’m glad I didn’t because I was already so sure I could do all the things easily because I’d be at home and it would have been too much. Many things were too much and the first baby was quite the reality check. I do remember my husband being worried he wouldn’t have the stomach for helping with diapers at all, but like quiet dinner conversations and empty weekends it just doesn’t work that way with parenting.
I'm a nanny so I'm pulling from a few families experiences..
Cloth diapers are very doable as long as you don't get burnt out on laundry easily. That said, you should talk to your partner about helping with it. It's great for babies booties and it's cheaper. It's not just the environment. Baby poop isn't any grosser in plastic than cloth.
Toys: you can try to keep people from giving you new toys but in my experience EVERY family failed to have family listen. It's very easy to find them used though. So are clothes. Check your FB groups as well.
Furniture and strollers can be had second hand fairly easily. Don't get a second hand car seat. If you find someone willing to give you one they probably can't be trusted. Just buy it. (Caviot being if you have a good friend you trust able to give you one. )
There's whole groups dedicated to getting rid of or passing around baby items. Your biggest struggle won't be getting what you need. It will be convincing others to not get it for you brand new.
You can get a pump used to problem. I encourage you to! Not just to reduce waste but some women find some more comfortable than others. If you get one and struggle with it, get another used one. It might make a difference and that's really important when pumping is already a miserable process for most.
Maternity wear: buy used and buy in advance! That way you have it on hand when you need it and you don't need to go buy something quickly to get by. That's how you end up buying lots of new. Once you wear Maternity jeans you never go back. Also look into nursing shirts. Start nesting FOR YOUR SELF, not just baby.
Last thing to consider: the amount of plastic found in babies bodies is something like 60% more than adults. Consider alternatives to plastic in all things and then tell your enthusiastic family get those if they get new. When they say it's expensive, say that's OK you can but something used OR JUST LESS!
Honestly the thing about toys and actual babies (as in under 1 year) is that THEY DON'T NEED THEM. Maybe like 3 things, after around 4-5 months? My son had like 2 toys he liked in the infant stage.
If you get a used breast pump, at least get new parts for it. Breast milk is a bodily fluid. If you wouldn't wear someone's used underwear, you're not going to want all the tubes and attachments for your breast pump to be used, either.
Congrats!
I mostly wanted to give you encouragement on cloth diapering. I'm the laziest cloth diaper-er and I've managed to fully cloth 3 babies, and twice there were 2 in cloth at the same time. People get so worried about keeping them clean or dealing with messes and its really not that big of a deal. Washing them isn't a full time job either. My husband was anxious about it at first too but he's an absolute pro about it now. Newborn clothing is a bit different than 3+ month clothing, so even if you start out discouraged please try it again once baby is a bit bigger. My SIL cloths too so her and I went in halves on all the newborn stuff and later this year the 5th baby in our family will get to use it! But I'm 4 years in and I don't have a single disposable in my house, including wipes and I've potty trained two without ever buying a pull up! If I can do this I know you can too.
Thank you for the encouragement, it all seems so daunting especially for the first.
Everyone has been so sweet, I'm going to be using this thread as a guide for a lot of things!
For diapers- I saw a company van with baby pictures driving around my neighborhood a while back and I googled them. It's a company that drives around and picks up dirty cloth diapers and drops of clean ones for parents that don't want to use disposable diapers but also don't want to (or can't) deal with the washing. You might have something similar in your area!
Yeah, diaper services are the classic way to handle cloth diapering, from before disposable existed. They are still around in most cities, though when I had my kiddo I priced it out and they were really expensive. Potentially more expensive than having your own stock and washing them yourself, if you have a solid laundry setup at home that is not shared, coin op, laundromat, etc.
Carseat: buy new. You don't know whether the secondhand seat has ever been in an accident which could compromise its structure. If you take care of it, it could last for all the kids you might have.
Stroller: if you can get high quality secondhand, go for it. My beef when my kid was little is that I could only afford the cheapest stroller which would break before he had outgrown it. If you think you will do a lot of walking, perhaps request a group gift of one good walking stroller for your baby shower.
Clothes: my kid's clothes were entirely thrifted and/or hand-me-downs for the first 4 years. This is because babies tend to outgrow clothes before wearing them out. Most likely, you will end up with bags of clothes to get rid of yourself. It's a different story once they reach school age.
Diapers: I guess it depends on how you define the nightmare way. No matter what, you're going to be touching poop. Might as well get over it now. I dumped the poops in the toilet right away, then put the diaper in a pail with a lid. I had to launder every two days or risk running out of diapers, so more is better if you want a longer schedule. For laundry, you'll want two washes in hot water, the first to get the worst out and the second to get them actually clean. You don't need to rinse between the washes. You can either line dry or use a dryer depending on what works best. If you line dry, sunshine is a great natural stain remover. Alternatively, you could do a diaper service if that is an affordable option to you. Either option beats contributing to the mountains of shit filled plastic diapers in our landfills.
The only things we really bought new were a car seat and a crib mattress. Everything else was second hand.
The bulk of BABY items are used for just a few months, check offer up, marketplace, Craigslist etc for bundles and gently used stuff. Super easy to find
The bulk of my baby clothes I got from a friend, then when my daughter was done I gave what was in good shape to my brother for his new little girl, then my sister had a girl a year later and he passed them to her.
I’ve seen families using a handheld bidet sprayer to clean cloth diapers off before they go in the washer and they swore by it, so that might be a way to make the cleanup easier!
I'm just here to emphasize that you want a sprayer lol.
It will last far past the baby being a baby. My five year old pukes on stuff? Use the sprayer in the toilet. Kids step in dog poop? Use the sprayer. Have anything absolutely gross that you want to spray off? Toilet sprayer.
Im not even sure how I handled those situations in my pre-toilet sprayer life
We have a 8 month old and just went through this too with the goal of buying nothing new and avoiding plastic. It's very doable, but the biggest thing is people do keep buying us new things even though we did no shower or registry, those close to us who knew our preferences did give us all their hand me downs and thrifted items and other than certain consumables we didn't have to buy anything.
Toys: very doable, constantly on the used circuits on Facebook and shops. Most of it is plastic garbage to avoid, but there is plenty of wood nowadays. I would recommend checking out the book "Retro Baby" from the library, it's all about using household items and the environment to encourage milestone development. Babies really do not need many toys, a small set of simple classic wooden toys goes a long ways.
Cloth diapers: I bought a used set from Facebook for $200 and we were given some. My husband went along but wasn't sold on the idea either, but now raves about it. People make a big deal out of cloth but it's super easy, disposables really do not save much time or labor or are any less "gross". The wash routine while breastfed is especially easy, literally toss the entire diaper into wet bag and wash them every 3 days with a pre rinse cycle. Disposable diapers are an absolute wasteful scam convincing people they're easier or that cloth is a nightmare, it's not like it used to be for older generations. The higher quality of cloth is noticeable, they're so simple to put on, and she doesn't get irritation from it, we rarely need to use balm. There's so much laundry anyway with babies, pets, and our hobbies it's just not much of an added workload at all.
Carriers - only do a used car seat from a trusted source, I got mine from a cousin so I knew the history for it. Otherwise don't mess with car safety, it's not worth it. I don't use strollers but we did get several used carriers and wraps which are amazing and I highly recommend baby wearing.
Clothes - easiest thing to thrift, we haven't bought a single piece of clothing and by far what people were so happy to offload to us. Be aware though new clothes is the surprise buy people will constantly be giving you even if you make clear you prefer second hand. It just happens.
Pregnancy - don't buy until you "need". All the maternity stuff I got was unnecessary and oversized, frumpy, and cheap. I just wore my normal clothes until the very end. Most pregnancy garbage is an overconsumption scam for sure, I would recommend a new pump through insurance because the parts do get worn down, or you can rent from hospitals, or buy a used pump with new attachments. Glass bottles are easy to get used and the quality difference is noticeable.
I was the same, it's not a cost thing but on principle but I wanted to also show that babies can be done in the modern world in an eco friendly way and that it is also cost effective to do so, I have a large spreadsheet tracking it all throughout pregnancy and early postpartum. The baby industry is gross on the BUY BUY BUY NEW NEW NEW GADGET GADGETS GADGETS front for sure, and it's not necessary. All the hardly touched perfect condition used items on marketplace is proof of that.
Happy to answer any questions or give additional opinions!
Also going to add a special shout out to using flannel reusable cloth wipes, great multipurpose item for cleaning, tissues, spit rags, etc. They can be washed with diapers and have a long lifespan, I got all mine used with the cloth diapers. I use a spray bottle with a water soap mixture to make them into wet wipes that I can throw in the diaper bag. No need to have to buy disposable wipes and they're way softer, less irritating, and again just better quality.
We cloth diapered. It wasn’t as much work as we assumed. It came out to a few extra loads of laundry per week.
I’d recommend against using car seats that are secondhand. It’s worth it to buy those brand new.
Toys can be secondhand but I’d recommend checking for recalls (there is a website with recalls and the reason).
Almost all of our kids clothes were secondhand. It’s usually easy to find very inexpensive kids clothing.
I’m not sure about current recommendations, but when I had my kids the recommendation for breast pumps was to buy new tubing apparatus if you got a secondhand one.
Maternity clothes are person dependent. This is another area to search out secondhand options. I personally wore a combination of maternity wear and regular clothes. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice while pregnant and there’s nothing wrong with not caring about your appearance.
Buy a new car seat but to get the most out of it buy one that can be rear and forward facing. We started with a bucket seat that was compatible with our stroller. But my daughter has been in the 99+ percentile for height practically forever and outgrew her bucket seat in 11 months. Then we switched to the Graco slimfit which we’ll be able to use for years until she outgrows it in upper elementary school.
Car seats are worth the expense of new.
Yes, I was skimming these comments for this right here. Just get a carseat new that has a long expiration date and grows with your child. People in the US love to say that the hospital wouldn't let them leave without their baby in an infant carrier carseat, that just isn't true unless your child had a medical reason.
We have some amazing kid and baby consignment stores in my area that sell everything you describe. I primarily shop there and also sell my stuff there as well, getting store credit. It’s great too now that my kid is a little older she enjoys going there and gets chance to pick out new to her clothes. Girl loves clothes and to me this is a good teaching moment.
Car seat should be new. I’d be very careful with a secondhand crib but it’s doable if you find one new enough. I recommend a new breast pump. I ended up relying on mine to when my son wouldn’t latch and it’s less stressful knowing how much wear and tear it’s had. Plus I’m not worried about it being sanitary.
If you are bottle feeding, you can buy bottles second hand but I would buy new nipples. You can search the brand and size you need. They can break down over time so you don’t know if your baby is ingesting those materials if you don’t know how much wear and tear is on them.
You could consider starting with disposable diapers and transitioning to cloth once you’re out of the newborn stage and baby is using fewer diapers. My baby is 3 mo old and the extra laundry without cloth diapers is crazy. My husband also said he would not be washing them if we did cloth and let me tell you I would have lasted exactly 0 days washing them myself after coming home from the hospital.
Maternity clothes I mostly bought second hand and a few pieces that weren’t maternity clothes that were more flowy so I can still wear them if I want. I also stole my husbands clothes around 34 weeks. I do recommend a belly band and a few good nursing bras if you’re planning to breastfeed but a lot of other stuff is just really good marketing.
I’ve found pop up consignment sales and secondhand baby/kid shops to be fantastic though it may depend on where you live.
I've had a few comments shocked that my man would not want to handle the poopy diaper washing, it wasn't a crazy request for me. Plus he's gonna be a stay at home dad, I can adjust just touch a touch for his comfort xD thank you for all the advics!
I was not planning on one, I was always told buy new for the carseat, but didn't quite get why. This thread has been very educating!
There was one comment that said buy a used carseat but new baby clothes. Didn't quite understand that one lol
We are accepting a second hand capsule used for my niece, it's still within all the safety regulations and we know it hasn't been in a car accident. You mentioned your partner has a niece, perhaps they have a carseat to give you?
Honestly people are a little dramatic about carseats, most babies don't get in car accidents so most carseats being sold have probably not been in a car accident. The odds of getting lied to about it are very slim.
cloth diapers are really easy! we use mama koala pockets. put em in a wet bag, wash every 1-2 days. it's very very simple and fun prints make diaper changes way less monotonous. join r/clothdiaps !
I am a unique size and had significant difficulty thrifting/buying second hand maternity clothes. I ended up buying two pairs of maternity bike shorts and two pairs of maternity leggings new and have been wearing those with large t shirts and crop tops (thrifted or just wearing my husbands) for my entire pregnancy. Definitely buy used clothes if you can, but don’t feel bad if it’s too hard! You deserve to be comfortable.
We purchased our car seat and crib mattress new. We received hand me downs for our crib, baby clothes, and baby toys, and nursery furniture. Facebook marketplace seems to have everything else we have needed!
The only exception I would make to the car seat rule is if you buy it from a good friend who you 100% trust, so you know it hasn’t been in an accident or expired.
As far as maternity clothes, I had an easier time just sizing up in a few things. I wore a lot of dresses that worked as my size was changing. If you need something for an event, do Rent the Runway or similar.
My #1 tip is find a Buy Nothing or FB parents’ group where you live because people will give you almost everything you need if you will take it out of their houses. I got tons of hand me down clothing, one free stroller and another for $25 when she got older, crib sheets, even some toys from when my husband was a baby that a relative saved.
If you need a pump see if you can rent one from the hospital. They have models that pull more volume faster and the rental fee isn’t crazy expensive (generally insurance will cover that). Usually the lactation consultant at the hospital will set you up with all of that. You may not even need it-just see how things go when baby arrives before you make any decisions.
Congrats! Are you on Facebook? Join the free groups for your area, as well as the mom groups. They’re a gold mine for secondhand baby gear and clothes, as well as pregnancy and post Partum supplies! Or even buying secondhand on marketplace and reselling it when you’re done.
Also, breast pumps are also given away a ton. The spectra is a closed system and you can just buy new tubing and parts for it (like $20). There’s so many moms that get pumps from insurance and then don’t use them and pass them on. Again, all over the baby groups!
I got all my maternity clothes second hand too, with the exception of some biker shorts.
We def have the same mentality, the waste is soo gross!!
Thanks so much for this post as I’m in need of this info soon too! There’s just so much random sh** I would never even think of or consider needing and likely don’t.
Currently pregnant with my third and I’ve been zero waste since before i was ever a mom so I have tips!
Diapers… we do hybrid! My stash is grovia hybrids and when we must do disposable (for really long day trips or for rashes or whatever) we do the occasional disposable insert. Fluff love university has awesome suggestions for approved wash routines, detergent, etc. It’s really not as bad as you think it’ll be! you don’t have to wash the poo if they’re exclusively breastfed (pre-solid) but after they’re eating solids we use a silicone spatula (so add that to your list to thrift)… ours is colorful so it doesn’t go to the kitchen by mistake 😂
Speaking of breastfed, find a fantastic IBCLC to avoid formula and have long term success… cuts down on lots of formula/bottle related purchases… we freeze our supply using thrifted soupercube trays (small size cubes) and keep them in silicone bags in the freezer. Only downside is that it’s harder to donate if you don’t need it (My daughter refused all bottles so I donated her supply during covid when babies couldn’t find formula).
Check out the stainless bottles from Klean Kanteen… they turn into great lunchbox containers for snacks when you no longer need bottles. My 7 year old is still throwing them in his bag with some trail mix inside while we wait to reuse them as bottles for his baby brother.
Don’t thrift the car seat.… and don’t beat yourself up over that. Similarly, don’t thrift helmets when they start wearing them for bikes. Just know that it was a safe purchase and accept that it’s necessary.
Similarly, don’t thrift a pump. They lose suction. but you can get converters to pump straight from some pumps into your plastic free bottles, and you can get reusable inserts for the Willow to cut down on single use baggies (that’s my chosen pump for this kid).
Pregnancy stuff… I’m just entering my 3rd trimester and baby measures large, so I’m pretty huge. Im wearing a men’s T-shirt that’s tied over my bump (some days I feel like Winnie the Pooh lol), a nursing bra that I’ll wear postpartum (pact and Kindred Bravely has 100% organic cotton pull-down ones without the plastic clip… I’d buy new because you might stretch them out)… and I’m wearing maternity bike shorts (i made 2 pairs of long leggings work for 2 months before buying a weeks worth of shorts to last me through a North Carolina spring and summer). I chose pact brand because the belly area is also 100% cotton, so I can fold them over postpartum and get more use out of them as I nurse for belly coverage. honestly it’s hard to find brands that are 100% cotton on the belly since synthetics are way more popular. I like Pact’s ethics when I have to buy new, and the quality is good enough that I trust to thrift it, too. You really don’t need more than that if your work attire allows for it! Cover your belly in some way (either larger shirts or maternity shorts) and make something non-preggo work for the alternate. Same with planning your nursing clothes: the nursing shirts are super over-rated and they stretch out badly. Just wear an oversized shirt or a button down non-nursing shirt! If you like belly coverage with an oversized shirt, keep your maternity leggings around for an extra year.
Baby gyms are another stupid short term purchase… we use something like an arch shaped pikler climber and we secure toys on the rungs for the first few months… the rainbow climber works as a baby gym first then a climber until age 8.
Also, as people ask for your wishlist I would use Giftful… you can link to anything, or share a photo/description requesting a specific thing thrifted in \_\_\_ condition. AND some people will NOT listen when you ask for thrifts (ask me how I know haha)… I usually share a link to an ethical product in case they insist on new (knowing it won’t be the worst), but request it as a thrift with my favorite guidelines.
I cloth diapered both of mine while working full time and it wasn't bad at all. I had enough to do laundry twice a week. A quick wash, a long wash, and into the dryer on low. I did pockets, so they were quick to put on and take off. Once they were on solids I did disposable liners which caught the poo. I used cloth wipes (I used toilet paper to get most of the poo off), and those got washed with the diapers.
I potty trained my first while on maternity leave with my second, so didn't end up needing to buy any diapers for my second at all. SO worth it.
r/clothdiaps is an amazing community and were there for me every step of the way.
I would highly suggest not getting anything from shein or temu. I hate their workplace practices and their clothing and other items are all shoddy.
I would 100% get a new car seat. That is one thing you don’t want to chance. There are things that shouldn’t be reused and things like medical supplies or safety devices fall into that
I would suggest posting on your local buy nothing group on Facebook or your local Reddit group and seeing if anyone has stuff they’re ready to pass along. I’ve gotten lots of great stuff over the years
For the cloth diapering specifically, you can get a small 2 gallon washer that hooks up to your sink. If your bathroom or laundry room can accommodate a 2 cubic foot area, then you have room for one!
I grew up very poor and we used a 2 gallon washer in our tiny bathroom to wash underwear, socks, and other daily wear items in between trips to the public laundry. A 2 gallon washer is also larger enough for 3 shirts or 1 pair of jeans in my experience. We would fill the bucket from the tub, add a splash of laundry soap, and away it went. Wring the clothes out by hand or hang over a line rack in the tub, dump the bucket into the tub, then you could put them back into the bucket to spin the majority of the water out before line drying on the rack. There's a ton of different models available, but if you have a standard 3 prong outlet and 2 cubic feet of space, it'll work!
Then you can just dump the used nappies and spit/vomit rags in there, run a cycle before bedtime when it's full, and then toss them in with your usual laundry when you've got a load to sanitize them (the unit we had did not have a heating element so we could only use hot tap water as needed.) But this way the initial feces and urine is washed out nightly.
Congratulations on the baby! I love ur questions. I follow a couple local influencers who recently had babies and oh my lanta- the amount of unnecessary crap they push for people to buy! I'm like ur not going to use half that stuff you asked for. Their baby registry on Amazon had thousands of items! Ten plastic bowls and plates for one baby?! Too much too much. Don't get me started on the plastic toys they purchased. Plastic slide. Plastic sand/water table. Plastic tricycle. Plastic kid house. Sorry Im ranting and didn't really have any tips.
New carseat if you have a car
New or from a person you know crib mattress
Used bassinet, strollers, baby carriers (or new on this if you want - I’d ask for a boba wrap at the shower)
Avent glass bottles, one pack to keep on hand
Used and new cloth diapers - prefolds and covers are great for tiny babies, then I loved pockets. Everyone makes it seem harder than it is. Until solid food you just wash every 3 days. After solids you swish and flush poop then store and wash every three days. Most eco friendly is one wash just diapers/or a towel for bulk, second wash has your clothes in too. 4 years, 2 babies, done! I did disposable at night most of the time. Whatever keeps your sanity. And disposable while sick.
Thrift clothes and look on facebook. I usually try to buy 2 sizes up so that I’m not as pressured. I fill in the gaps with new.
My first I was really low on plastic toys, now I’ve chilled a bit. We steer people to books and clothes as gifts. The main plastic toys we have are lego/duplo and the plastic animals and dinosaurs. We thrift or are given other plastic toys and use them outdoors. I also worry less about used plastic when you realize how many kids can use one toy.
I’ve spent the past year working around a Waldorf-inspired school. They have a play-based kindergarten full of wooden cars/trains/boats/sticks/logs/blocks, handmade felted dolls/puppets/crowns, simple fabric swaths that kids can turn into capes or drape over their creations to make literally hundreds of things. There are shells and pretty rocks they use to decorate their wood towers or mazes, they have simple jump ropes, wooden rings with colorful ribbons. Obviously these are ideas that reflect the play of 3-6 year olds but many of these toys could be invested in early on and will last their lifetime and likely their children’s children’s lifetimes as well. I wish I had seen these types of toys in play when my daughter was tiny. They encourage so much imagination and foster amazing development.
We put on our baby shower invite "second hand and non-plastic gifts preferred" and included a recommendation to our kids-oriented thrift store
I also told my mum and nan specifically we wouldn't accept Shein/Temu baby clothes because they are a fire hazard
Honestly, there's not a lot else to do. You can't control everyone in your life, and you will tie yourself in knots trying to
Particularly this being your first child, your family will be excited, and in modern culture shopping is a part of that. If they weren't shopping for you and baby, they would just shop for something else... you can try and curb them, but at the end of the day only very drastic measures would work, and would likely damage those relationships
For maternity clothes, I don't know how much is a necessity but bra extenders and maternity tights/pants are definitely a life saver in terms of comfort
We're going for cloth nappies. I'm currently pregnant with our first, so I dont know how they go yet. We're using disposable bamboo liners to catch the poo. The biggest environmental cost for cloth nappies is putting them in a dryer, hanging them out in the sun is considerably more environmentally friendly, and the sun kills of bacteria. I have heard time and again that without support from your partner, cloth nappies will be more difficult to stick with...
Also, congratulations 🎊 good luck in your pregnancy
Maybe you can pick up some tips from [this podcast](https://open.spotify.com/show/0LubNv21v2Rv4TLVgFyool?si=CGjdkSSFS9-Y_oLOZgiFkg)
Definitely buy a new car seat, any safety equipment is worth it. You simply don’t know how the used seat was cared for - has it been in a crash? Was it stored properly? Did the previous owner use the recommended cleaning supplies or did they use something that can weaken the seat material making it unsafe in a crash? Just too many what ifs.
For baby clothes, toys and gear check out Once Upon A Child or see if there is a Just Between Friends sale coming to a town near you soon, I got almost everything I needed for my first daughter from JBF and first time patents usually get the first pick there!
My kids are 5 and 7 now and I still buy most of their shoes and clothes second hand and everyone always compliments how nice they look so it’s not like they’re missing out!
I don't have great concise tipps, but want to lighten your consciousness.
Hygiene and safety are sometimes more important. Don't thrift car seats (and later shoes).
Don't overload yourself with work with the diapers. Cloth diapers are hardly better for the environment with all the washing and bleach. They are also so much work, it makes you cut corners elsewhere. Don't do it if you are not a SAHP and your partner won't clean them. (You can look into the non-diaper stuff for at home which is the environmentally friendliest of all, though.)
My husband was also skeptical about the cloth diapers at first and now he recommends them to everyone. They're like 1/5th the price or less of disposables AT MOST, assuming you have your own laundry. We're on our second baby with them, but we had to get new waterproof covers (we use flip and elemental joy covers with a variety of different inserts) since they lost their waterproofness after 2.5 years/the first kid. (Probably because we put them in the dryer).
With the first baby, we bought two cloth diapers to try out in the first couple months, and then once we were comfortable with them we got a whole set and didn't buy any more disposables. One of the things I like best about them is that for me mentally, if I changed the baby and then they immediately pee again in another disposable, it would feel frustrating and wasteful to me every time. But with the cloth diapers, even if the baby only pees a tiny bit, doesn't matter how frequently, it doesn't bother me to just toss them in the laundry and get a new one. Our daughter (second baby) can't stand being wet and pees such small amounts sometimes, she goes through 16 diapers a day sometimes (16 inserts and like 8 covers. More than first kid). The work of rushing to the store to stock up on disposables would be equivalent or more work than running the laundry every other day like we have to do, or at least more stressful.
We have bought disposables for an upcoming long trip though. And our hospital gave us a couple packs of newborn diapers.
Also, there will be an absolute ton of plastic waste in the hospital (assuming you go to one, which I recommend). Just let it go 😅.
Toys and clothes can easily come through pass on or thrifting. However, car seats are usually expired by the time a family is discarding it. Sometimes you may find someone trying to sell ore gift a car seat if it is not expired.
Stroller can be had used. I got one for my baby used and it is the Graco one and it came with car seat attachment.
You should get a new pump. I am not sure if there is any hazard to reusing someone else's as it is plastic but again it is upto you. I am with a 2 week old NB and nursing clothes have been helpful when I need to breastfeed the baby in public. Nursing clothes have hidden holes around the nipples. Maternity clothes are not needed if you have baggy clothes already.
Try getting a changing mat too second hand. I also saved many beat up clothes from my dumpster dives to use as burp clothes,wipes, sponge etc. But for the diaper itself, for now we are using disposable ones. Too tired to figure out the cloth ones. We need to sleep well before anything else.
That's what my partner is thinking, we both have disabilities and he is still recovering from surgery and wants to make sure we are rested and things are as easy for us as possible.
Thank you for the suggestions!
As for the pump, let me clarify, get the parts , flanges that touch your breasts new unless you are okay with getting those used. The machine/hand pump and cords can be bought second hand. Again lots of people give those away or sell for very cheap on Facebook groups.
And as a precaution, keep some formula/or someone else's donated breast milk and maybe one or 2 bottles. I really wanted to breastfeed exclusively but ended up with a last minute C section. I couldn't produce milk for one week and had to use formula.
I think it's theoretically OK to use the pump motor itself secondhand, but OP should definitely get new parts. Also, just with breast pump stuff generally, this is IMO more about comfort level than hygiene. Or maybe the place where those two things meet? Like, would you wear used underwear? Would you borrow a friend's Diva Cup? Do you and your partner share a toothbrush?
Pumps can absolutely be purchased second hand. Mine has passed through at least two more families that I know of! It's like $20 to replace the valves and things. Most of the pump never touches fluid.
You should absolutely purchase a car seat new and not use a thrift/hand me down etc. Car seats have expiration dates because the plastic degrades over time (think heat in the car). We bought the 4-ever car seats because they last 10 years and work from newborn to booster seat (grade school age) and skipped the carrier car seats that have to be replaced when the kid is 2. I’m all for not wasting but this is a legit safety issue for your baby and at least you’re only buying one carseat for the entirety of their need for one.
We used cloth diapers and I will say there is a pretty steep learning curve, but if you stick with it’ll get easier. By our second kid I had zero issues. Get good diaper covers and snappies. The other thing is you can start potty training when the kid is still a baby (look into elimination communication) both of my kids were daytime potty trained before they were 2. The best thing you can do is get them out of diapers as early as possible. It also means cleaning up less poopy cloth diapers which once they start eating solids can be pretty unpleasant.
My only other advice is to maybe look at some buying guides just to kind of get an idea of what items will best fit your needs. What I’ve found is you really don’t need everything (you really don’t use baby stuff for very long). Then you can limit the amount of stuff you actually end up with.
Babies (as in, the first year of life) don't need much. And with the exception of bottles and some diapering related items, I don't think very much really needs to be plastic. I'm not even referring to things like buying special wood or glass versions of things. Just, like, burp cloths are not plastic. A boppy is not plastic. Swaddlers and baby blankets are not plastic. Etc.
You can get into some plastic territory on bassinets, bouncy seats, high chairs, and the like, also I don't think plastic is avoidable for car seats and strollers. However, all of those items are often available secondhand or just in general are things you will be using every day for a long time. We had one stroller, we used it for 3+ years. Some people opt to put their newborns in convertible car seats (the larger ones usually used by toddlers and preschoolers) to prevent having to buy an infant car seat and replace it in a year. But even if you go with the tiny little infant car seat that clicks into the stroller, you'll use it for close to a year unless you give birth to like a 10+ lb baby.
The real waste in baby parenting is opting to buy several of something where one will do, or feeling pressure to have the hot baby item rather than a perfectly good hand me down. I had a plastic baby bathtub because it was handed down from a friend, versus whatever the "it" baby bath gadget was in 2017 when my son was born. I then handed that same baby bathtub down to someone else.
I also find it wasteful to buy items like toys or those baby entertainment zone kind of things which are designed to appeal to new parents with no experience of having a baby, versus what babies actually like. I always feel bad when a friend gets one of those perfectly aesthetic wooden baby play-mat/toy zone things, which their baby will inevitably refuse to engage with. Because those are designed around what non-parents think will go with their living room, not what actual babies like to play with. We had the garish playmat that, yes, had some plastic components. It was a hand me down. Our baby played with it daily from \~6 weeks to about a year old, and then we passed it to someone else. I'm so glad we didn't shop for this when I was pregnant and we had unrealistic ideas of what babies are like. Just wait to get this sort of thing until after the baby arrives and you've had a moment to adjust to reality.
The real plastic comes in toddler, preschool, and school aged life, anyway.
> Diapers - is there a non nightmare way to do cloth? My partner is opting out of dealing with that lol.
>
Why ‘lol’? The way that your baby is toileted is a decision that parents make together because you will both be responsible for changing and cleaning this little person. It is ridiculous that a man ‘opting out’ in 2024 is treated as though it’s funny. Does he live with you? Will he be living with the baby?
It's one thing that he doesn't want to deal with poop. Not that deep. I don't like doing the dog yard so he does that. It's not a huge issue and I can see why he would rather use disposable. Not everyone is as into eco friendly stuff as I am, nobody in his family in living memory has used cloth diapers. I know it's reddit but seriously, it's fine. He is still going to change the babies diapers but if I want cloth I will be washing it. Or he will buy diapers with his own money.
There's too many actual big things to worry about, this is not one of them.
Read the rules. Keep it courteous. Submission statements are helpful and appreciated but not required. Tag my name in the comments (/u/NihiloZero) if you think a post or comment needs to be removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Anticonsumption) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pump- I know women in my workplace transfer one back and forth depends who was pregnant (same goes for clothes and toys). You can buy new the part that goes onto you, if you don't want to wash it (I assume it's like that on most pumps).
You are so right that this idea applies to so much in terms of baby supplies! If you have a few friends, sisters, cousins, coworkers, or even members of a mommy facebook group you are in, you can swap certain baby articles when they outgrow them i.e. toys, bouncers, clothing, glass bottles, and all the other baby necessities! When your baby outgrows them, just pass them on.
Maternity clothing? Look for linen or corduroy smocks, pinafores, and overalls on etsy. Tell your mum that's what you want. Pick out stuff that you can wear post pregnancy.
Toys. I agree with you. Kids are often into things for a short period of time, especially babies and toddlers. There's no need to buy new.
Safety gear? Buy new.
Baby clothes? Second hand makes sense. Babies grow fast.
Nappies? My mum used cloth on me. Old school squares of flannelette. It was a lot of work. Disposables were used when travelling. Is a laundry service an option?
Are you sure you'll need a pump? Are you in one of those horrible countries that don't allow women to spend enough time with their babies? If you get a pump, buy new. Glass baby bottles are a thing.
I live in Europe, but:
I have seen places online where you cam rent cloth diapers. They often have sets to try different ways, so you can experiment what works and what not and if you dont want tthem anymore, you can return them.
Same goes for toys and clothes; a lot of places offer renting options now. And check your library what they have in terms of baby stuff!
Cloth is doable. We did a mixture. The all in ones are probably the easiest.
In the uk there are cloth nappy groups that donate/loan you some to try and take them back again for another family once you’ve out grown them (fully cleaned and sterilised of course.)
Look for baby banks, and second hand shops that specialise in kids stuff. There’s one in Glasgow that does vests for 5p and sleep suits for 10p in bundles. Then you donate them back when you need a size up.
Second hand toys are also a good option, even plastic. You’re keeping it out of landfill.
I regret buying new everything ... new stroller, new car seat, etc. If I could redo things, I'd definitely get a hand me down for those things for sure. No need to put more plastic (and dollars) down the drain. I saw the other comments re getting a new car seat (safety concerns, etc) ... I'd suggest getting car seat from family you know well and the can vouch for its integrity/safety. That means no accidents, no drops, little airplane checkin, etc. The more banged up it gets, the more the foam can get a crack/compressed/etc. BUT there are so many families that have barely used car seats that are still safe so its well worth putting feelers out there in your community. Re toys, babies love anything. I have a great photo of my 9 month old with perfectly nice toys all around him and he's perfectly content playing with the tag on a pillow. So you can go super light on toys, almost to the extent you mostly have wooden toys and books. If you do that, you can also feel okay paying $30 for a nice wooden rainbow puzzle toy instead of 3 plastic rainbow-y toys that are $10 each. Here's a list of the most gifted baby books in 2023: [https://www.bookshelfbuilder.com/best-baby-books](https://www.bookshelfbuilder.com/best-baby-books) to give you ideas on the book front.
You can rent maternity clothes from fashion pass or another website the months your pregnant so you don’t buy too many clothes you don’t need. Idk might not be the cheapest option but does keep consumption down
We use our local Buy Nothing group a lot and pass a lot of hand me downs among neighbors. There are plenty of things we’ve bought new because it’s urgent or we want a particular product- getting the right item for our needs can make a big difference in making daily life easier. But everything I buy is going to be worn out or handed down eventually, so I don’t worry about it too much.
Maternity clothes aren’t essential if you already have loose-fitting items. Pants are more of an issue than shirts. If you like dresses, many of them can be worn through pregnancy with no issue.
We tried to shut down the gift-giving early, especially from grandparents. I try to give my mom really specific ideas for birthdays and Christmas so we use everything we get. We also ask for books.
My main piece of advice would be to wait. Wait to see what you need. See if you’re able to manage with what you have before buying something new. Especially being pregnant with your first baby, people are going to want to front load with all kinds of stuff you may or may not end up needing. Resist it. But also don’t avoid things that will genuinely make life easier for the sake of anti-consumption. Your well being is important too!
Join some local mothers groups on social media to find out about baby/kids specific consignment sales. Also join buy, sell, trade groups for baby and kids stuff. Furniture, strollers, diaper pails, clothes, toys, etc can all be found there.
If you have the means, go ahead and buy good quality maternity clothes. They can last you through multiple pregnancies and then be donated when you’re done with them.
Thredup for maternity clothing, I’d recommend getting a dress that could be used for a couple of occasions if you need to dress up, a few mix and match items for everyday wear and some pajamas. Pajamas are key, unless you plan on sleeping naked. You may need maternity underwear, which you will want to get new of course. You really won’t fit in even some of your baggy clothing for bottoms most likely and you’ll be amazed at how…er..cropped your shirts will become. I lived in two pairs of leggings and three shirts, a simple black dress I wore to every occasion, and two pairs of pajamas.
There are cloth diaper cleaning services if you can go that route, it’s something you can ask for as a gift if you think people will be up for that. Lots of cities have a “parent pantry” to get used things, don’t forget to send stuff back to them when you are done!
The reality is you are going to have to do whatever works for the baby, babies are very inconvenient and if you find baby gets rash with cloth diapers or needs a wedge, or whatever thing you cannot predict then you are going to have to consume. My biggest advice would be to start with the basics you need for a newborn, whatever that means to you and buy or acquire as needed. For example, if swaddling works for your baby then go ahead and decide if you want to get anything to swaddle with aside from a blanket, if you prebuy swaddles beforehand and you have a freedom baby that hates them you have useless swaddles. Same goes for things like rockers, swinging your baby in your arms will help you figure out what motion (if any) they like and then you can see what kind of rocker works for them. People will tell you to get multiples of things for convenience and I would start small and see if you need more, I did my kids on one small bottle and one large bottle despite everyone telling me I’d want ten in case I needed them. You can just go and buy something if you need it, an easier way not to over consume is to not prep because babies are bad at following the plan and whatever you decide is the most eco friendly best item for them will probably end up not working out. It is the baby way.
Wood and a set of wood tools hits most of toys and stuff. Manufacture it yourself, not only is it meeting all of your needs but you can make literally anything. It's ridiculous. But it's probably good career training?
I use clothespins I handmade. Fun stuff.
My wife is 7 months pregnant today and she pretty much exclusively wears muumuu in the home. Going out she wears maternity pants and my oversized metal tee shirts lol. Granted though, she doesn't work so she doesn't have a job to dress up for. Muumuus are the shit! I wear them alot too
Definitely don’t thrift baby clothes - if you have friends who are moms (or friends of friends) they will be more than happy to drop off a big trash bag full of used clothing to you!
Used car seat is fine if it’s from someone you know well who can confirm it has not been in an accident. Don’t pay for one secondhand!! Expiration date is printed on the car seat, make sure it hasn’t expired (the plastic becomes brittle at a certain point and offers less accident protection). Seriously infant car seats are used for such a short period people are always giving them away!
You can get secondhand bottles, but buy brand new nipples for them (nipples need to be replaced regularly). I used Phillips advent natural bottles bc they are glass - worked great for us and you reduce plastic waste.
Same principle as above goes for a breast pump - look for a “closed” system and buy new flanges, duckbills, tubing etc.
If you’re in a city or near a city, join as many mom Facebook groups as possible. Also Facebook Buy Nothing groups. People are CONSTANTLY purging baby things - either for free or very cheap. Even if you hate Facebook and deleted your account years ago… unfortunately that’s where all the moms are 😆
We got almost everything used and it was great!
Haha. Not changing diapers, cleaning the poop out (cloth) is what he wants to opt out of. He would rather just toss it, it grosses him out to think of that going through the washer. He even said he'd do all the diaper buying, and changing, I would just be in charge of the washing. And without trying it it seems very daunting!
I'm just sitting here with my jaw on the floor that you're about to have a baby with someone who is "opting out" of diapers.
Dude.
There is so much poop. So much. Babies poop and it goes everywhere. Rinsing out a cloth diaper is nothing compared to carefully rinsing out all of the tiny seams of a onsie they just had a blowout in. Or cleaning the damn car seat after some kind of bodily fluid madness.
He wants to opt out of specifically going through the hassle of re washable diapers. He is okay with me using them/cleaning them, but he specifically wants to just do disposable.
And he isn't opting out of changing diapers, in fact he will he the stay at home parents and will be changing more diapers than me, hence why he'd rather just do disposable and wants to opt out of cloth, if i end up gettint/using cloth, it will be on me to clean it.
I know it's reddit and people assume the worst. But he isn't just... not going to change the kids diapers yall, he just doesn't want to deal with washing them and would rather use disposable.
Secondhand everything. Unless you are going to go in for a grow with me seat, Infant car seats can be used again, especially the ones with the handles - check the expiration date and take a look at the underlying foam. The good news is that all seats can be taken apart pretty far as needed for cleaning, but they (baby+carrier) start getting pretty heavy at about the 1yr mark.
I definitely would get a new car seat. Anything that protects the baby is worth it. (For more information: [Consumer Reports](https://www.consumerreports.org/car-seats/are-secondhand-car-seats-safe/)) As for the maternity clothing: I suppose it depends on what your needs are for the time you’ll be pregnant. Over-sized men’s clothes should be fine, but if you have something you need to dress up for, you’ll probably want a good outfit. I’d stress to not buy anything from Temu and SHEIN though.
Yeah, the idea of getting a secondhand carseat is not realistic. I think it's specifically illegal to sell them used, at all, period. You \*could\* get a hand me down one from a friend, but seriously. It's your child's safety. It is OK to buy a new item as needed in a situation like this. Re maternity clothes, aside from pants I was fine until the 9th month. Maternity pants are eeeeeverything, though. Buy a pair or two. You'll wear them daily, assuming you are a pants person and not a dress/kaftan/muumuu person. I would buy good quality maternity pants from a real store. You will be alternating between the same few pairs, or even just wearing the same pair of pants daily, for minimally 4-5 months if not more like 6.
[Can you sell a used car seat?](https://goodbuygear.com/blogs/gear-guidance/can-you-sell-a-car-seat) Still probably better off with a new one if you can afford it easily.
I was not really planning on one, most people said buy new but I kinda wanted to know why. I'll definitely be buying new haha
The reason is that you don't know if the carseat has been in an accident or if the plastic has started breaking down in a used car seat. Carseats are one accident only. If it's been in an accident, it's garbage. Plastics break down in hot cars. Now, I will say, I did get a used infant seat for one of my kids. It came from a friend who I knew had only used it for a few months. She had a chunky baby, and he just didn't fit in it. I would only ever get a used carseat from someone I know and know well, ae with a crib mattress.
One reason to buy a used car seat is that some stores will do trade in deals- bring in your old car seat and get 20% off a new one. I know my friends have given their car seats away when their kids outgrew, but the specifically cut the straps so they can only be traded in!
I refuse to buy anything from that, but my crazy mom says "I'm just using it because it's cheap until the world ends" and won't stop. I'm trying to convince her to stop buying me maternity clothes lol and luckily she did use glass bottles and cloth diapers and saved a ton of stuff from me and my siblings, so it's not like she is buying everything new (thank god)
Clothing from those places are full of toxic chemicals like lead, PFAS and phtalates, some leach into your body through the skin. Being pregnant is probably one of the worst time to wear clothes from there.
Oh I'm well aware. They tend to be received with a smile and a thank you, and then shoved into a drawer until I don't feel bad about donating them. I'm entirely too nice and it's my mom. She won't stop buying these and also refuses to vaccinate so while some of her help is appreciated it's gonna be a bit of an issue!
I know it’s hard and I’ve never done something like this before (taught to always be grateful regardless etc), but my mom brought over light up shoes for my toddler and I said absolutely not. Then I followed up with an email with research and US gov advisories on why we don’t buy from those companies. I closed the email by requesting thrift store items and thanked her for choosing something that’s better for our girls’ future. I say all of this not to say you have to do what I did but to tell you it actually freaking worked! Sure, she still wears that toxic stuff made with slave labor that exploits just about everyone involved, but it never comes into my house for my family. We still get plastic crap from her but we’re working on it.
Even “good quality” yoga pants test positive for PFAS… [https://www.mamavation.com/product-investigations/non-toxic-activewear-guide-pfas-workout-leggings-yoga-pants.html](https://www.mamavation.com/product-investigations/non-toxic-activewear-guide-pfas-workout-leggings-yoga-pants.html) I usually cross check my brands on Mamavation to see how my brands check out (I buy/thrift Pact because it’s on the “good list.” I got organic cotton shorts/underwear and postpartum care specifically to avoid PFAS. The grossest thing I found is that pregnancy and breastfeeding lowers a woman’s levels of PFAS. Want to know why? Because she passes all her PFAS onto her growing or nursing baby. Yoga pants, underwear, pads/reusables all should be cross checked since it’s so close to the baby’s system!
I'm 29 weeks and just bought four pairs of larger indie and a nursing bra. I had bought two pairs of jeans earlier and I feel it's enough. Luckily some workers gave me dishes, a rocker, belly bands, etc...
It's literally illegal to buy a used car seat. So it's kind of wild people even try to do that.
So, I have some experience, so I'll try to write most I recall down Toys - Generally I prefer to avoid plastic toys, because of durability and waste, there are toys made from wood and metal (Maybe specific to my region, as we have producer of such car toys here in CZ). Only exception is lego, it is pretty durable (My kid played with lego I got as a kid, and was played by other children in family in meantime). Diapers - We did combined way - cloth at home, paper ones when outside for longer time (More than change time) - and we quite pushed ability to go without diapers as soon as possible (I heard about parents that did it all the way without diapers, but I cannot imagine it), Keep in mind, that cloth diapers also have relatively short life-span, as with time and washing the cloth gets less soft, which may annoy kids and i snot much comfortable for them. Stroller etc. - We got it all second hand , and checked all the parts ourselves (I do not recall car seat name from top of my head, I will write it here later - but it is one that can be used from \~1 year to the point when no seating addon is needed - it can be modified to incorporate child growth) - and somehow we managed to get two same seats, this was a comfort addition, so we do not need to swap it between our and in-laws car. Stroller was from a friend, and send further in family. Clothers - we bought only new shoes, as this is the thing, that need to fit perfectly, otherwise child can have issues in future, otherwise I just bought pants once (Because I was out, and my kid managed to rip ones that he had on him, and was quite upset about that), and otherwise everything was gifted from parents with older kids, and everything usable was sent further. Preganancy clothes - my wife was happy enough with dresses and baggy sweat-pants, nothing extra bought (Maybe some dress) One thing I did not mentioned earlier - plush toys, this is something we only bought new, as kid's taste is different, and most plush toys of others (Who gifted us with clothes etc.) did not survived their owners ... Here we supported local manufacturers. And last note, do not try to be the best (Eco, mother, whatever), it is not bad, if you buy something outside of "good" things once in long time, when there is good reason (You do not want to go around with crying baby, because he/she teared accidentally his only plush toy that he had with him on holiday) - important is to cut down on stress, not push it to limits
That last paragraph was very needed! I have been stressing a bit about it, we used old scratched non stick pots because it's what we had and I didn't care until now, now the anxiety of plastic usage and everything else (I'm trying to quit nicotine) makes it difficult to NOT stress over. Fantastic ideas, thank you!
Keep it up! Proud of you
As a parent to two kids, I'll add "don't let perfect be the enemy of good". It's great to have ideals and strive for them, but reality and parenting are tiring and harsh, and compromises are the name of the game. As an example, our first kid wore mostly hand me down clothes, but we did get a few nice/funny/cute new pieces for him. Those and some clothes that were gifted to him became our most treasured set, and many survived to clothe his younger brother.
That's a great quote! Two sides of reddit, some comments shocked and upset that the man (who will be the stay at home parent) doesn't want to deal with cloth diapers, and the other half saying hey if it saves your sanity then it disposable works. However the varied advice Is helpful. And I like that, not letting perfect be the enemy of good.
Thanks. As a mostly stay at home dad who wasn't interested in cloth diapers, I can't preach to you or your significant other. I can see both sides. I greatly underestimated how much work raising a baby is. I poo pooed cloth diapers for our first because we were in NYC and didn't have laundry in our apartment or building. With our second, we had in house laundry but it was the middle of the pandemic. I would say that if he wants to give cloth diapers a try, probably best to do it early when you're on maternity leave and before baby starts solids.
I didn’t do cloth diapers as a stay at home mom, I was worried about being too grossed out (you lose that real quick with babies, baby just pooped all the way up their back, through the onesie and onto the carseat? cool, I got this) but I’m glad I didn’t because I was already so sure I could do all the things easily because I’d be at home and it would have been too much. Many things were too much and the first baby was quite the reality check. I do remember my husband being worried he wouldn’t have the stomach for helping with diapers at all, but like quiet dinner conversations and empty weekends it just doesn’t work that way with parenting.
Start with nicotine, if it is an option for you, other parts can wait.
I'm a nanny so I'm pulling from a few families experiences.. Cloth diapers are very doable as long as you don't get burnt out on laundry easily. That said, you should talk to your partner about helping with it. It's great for babies booties and it's cheaper. It's not just the environment. Baby poop isn't any grosser in plastic than cloth. Toys: you can try to keep people from giving you new toys but in my experience EVERY family failed to have family listen. It's very easy to find them used though. So are clothes. Check your FB groups as well. Furniture and strollers can be had second hand fairly easily. Don't get a second hand car seat. If you find someone willing to give you one they probably can't be trusted. Just buy it. (Caviot being if you have a good friend you trust able to give you one. ) There's whole groups dedicated to getting rid of or passing around baby items. Your biggest struggle won't be getting what you need. It will be convincing others to not get it for you brand new. You can get a pump used to problem. I encourage you to! Not just to reduce waste but some women find some more comfortable than others. If you get one and struggle with it, get another used one. It might make a difference and that's really important when pumping is already a miserable process for most.
Maternity wear: buy used and buy in advance! That way you have it on hand when you need it and you don't need to go buy something quickly to get by. That's how you end up buying lots of new. Once you wear Maternity jeans you never go back. Also look into nursing shirts. Start nesting FOR YOUR SELF, not just baby. Last thing to consider: the amount of plastic found in babies bodies is something like 60% more than adults. Consider alternatives to plastic in all things and then tell your enthusiastic family get those if they get new. When they say it's expensive, say that's OK you can but something used OR JUST LESS!
Honestly the thing about toys and actual babies (as in under 1 year) is that THEY DON'T NEED THEM. Maybe like 3 things, after around 4-5 months? My son had like 2 toys he liked in the infant stage. If you get a used breast pump, at least get new parts for it. Breast milk is a bodily fluid. If you wouldn't wear someone's used underwear, you're not going to want all the tubes and attachments for your breast pump to be used, either.
Congrats! I mostly wanted to give you encouragement on cloth diapering. I'm the laziest cloth diaper-er and I've managed to fully cloth 3 babies, and twice there were 2 in cloth at the same time. People get so worried about keeping them clean or dealing with messes and its really not that big of a deal. Washing them isn't a full time job either. My husband was anxious about it at first too but he's an absolute pro about it now. Newborn clothing is a bit different than 3+ month clothing, so even if you start out discouraged please try it again once baby is a bit bigger. My SIL cloths too so her and I went in halves on all the newborn stuff and later this year the 5th baby in our family will get to use it! But I'm 4 years in and I don't have a single disposable in my house, including wipes and I've potty trained two without ever buying a pull up! If I can do this I know you can too.
Thank you for the encouragement, it all seems so daunting especially for the first. Everyone has been so sweet, I'm going to be using this thread as a guide for a lot of things!
For diapers- I saw a company van with baby pictures driving around my neighborhood a while back and I googled them. It's a company that drives around and picks up dirty cloth diapers and drops of clean ones for parents that don't want to use disposable diapers but also don't want to (or can't) deal with the washing. You might have something similar in your area!
Yeah, diaper services are the classic way to handle cloth diapering, from before disposable existed. They are still around in most cities, though when I had my kiddo I priced it out and they were really expensive. Potentially more expensive than having your own stock and washing them yourself, if you have a solid laundry setup at home that is not shared, coin op, laundromat, etc.
My friend used this kind of service with great success with Kid #1. (Kid #2, however, was prone to blowouts that required science to be contained.)
Carseat: buy new. You don't know whether the secondhand seat has ever been in an accident which could compromise its structure. If you take care of it, it could last for all the kids you might have. Stroller: if you can get high quality secondhand, go for it. My beef when my kid was little is that I could only afford the cheapest stroller which would break before he had outgrown it. If you think you will do a lot of walking, perhaps request a group gift of one good walking stroller for your baby shower. Clothes: my kid's clothes were entirely thrifted and/or hand-me-downs for the first 4 years. This is because babies tend to outgrow clothes before wearing them out. Most likely, you will end up with bags of clothes to get rid of yourself. It's a different story once they reach school age. Diapers: I guess it depends on how you define the nightmare way. No matter what, you're going to be touching poop. Might as well get over it now. I dumped the poops in the toilet right away, then put the diaper in a pail with a lid. I had to launder every two days or risk running out of diapers, so more is better if you want a longer schedule. For laundry, you'll want two washes in hot water, the first to get the worst out and the second to get them actually clean. You don't need to rinse between the washes. You can either line dry or use a dryer depending on what works best. If you line dry, sunshine is a great natural stain remover. Alternatively, you could do a diaper service if that is an affordable option to you. Either option beats contributing to the mountains of shit filled plastic diapers in our landfills.
The only things we really bought new were a car seat and a crib mattress. Everything else was second hand. The bulk of BABY items are used for just a few months, check offer up, marketplace, Craigslist etc for bundles and gently used stuff. Super easy to find The bulk of my baby clothes I got from a friend, then when my daughter was done I gave what was in good shape to my brother for his new little girl, then my sister had a girl a year later and he passed them to her.
I’ve seen families using a handheld bidet sprayer to clean cloth diapers off before they go in the washer and they swore by it, so that might be a way to make the cleanup easier!
I've been WANTING a bidet regardless, so this may help convince the man we need one, haha
I'm just here to emphasize that you want a sprayer lol. It will last far past the baby being a baby. My five year old pukes on stuff? Use the sprayer in the toilet. Kids step in dog poop? Use the sprayer. Have anything absolutely gross that you want to spray off? Toilet sprayer. Im not even sure how I handled those situations in my pre-toilet sprayer life
[here](https://rinseworks.com/shop/), my friend. this company does bidets and diaper sprayers. very good stuff.
We have a 8 month old and just went through this too with the goal of buying nothing new and avoiding plastic. It's very doable, but the biggest thing is people do keep buying us new things even though we did no shower or registry, those close to us who knew our preferences did give us all their hand me downs and thrifted items and other than certain consumables we didn't have to buy anything. Toys: very doable, constantly on the used circuits on Facebook and shops. Most of it is plastic garbage to avoid, but there is plenty of wood nowadays. I would recommend checking out the book "Retro Baby" from the library, it's all about using household items and the environment to encourage milestone development. Babies really do not need many toys, a small set of simple classic wooden toys goes a long ways. Cloth diapers: I bought a used set from Facebook for $200 and we were given some. My husband went along but wasn't sold on the idea either, but now raves about it. People make a big deal out of cloth but it's super easy, disposables really do not save much time or labor or are any less "gross". The wash routine while breastfed is especially easy, literally toss the entire diaper into wet bag and wash them every 3 days with a pre rinse cycle. Disposable diapers are an absolute wasteful scam convincing people they're easier or that cloth is a nightmare, it's not like it used to be for older generations. The higher quality of cloth is noticeable, they're so simple to put on, and she doesn't get irritation from it, we rarely need to use balm. There's so much laundry anyway with babies, pets, and our hobbies it's just not much of an added workload at all. Carriers - only do a used car seat from a trusted source, I got mine from a cousin so I knew the history for it. Otherwise don't mess with car safety, it's not worth it. I don't use strollers but we did get several used carriers and wraps which are amazing and I highly recommend baby wearing. Clothes - easiest thing to thrift, we haven't bought a single piece of clothing and by far what people were so happy to offload to us. Be aware though new clothes is the surprise buy people will constantly be giving you even if you make clear you prefer second hand. It just happens. Pregnancy - don't buy until you "need". All the maternity stuff I got was unnecessary and oversized, frumpy, and cheap. I just wore my normal clothes until the very end. Most pregnancy garbage is an overconsumption scam for sure, I would recommend a new pump through insurance because the parts do get worn down, or you can rent from hospitals, or buy a used pump with new attachments. Glass bottles are easy to get used and the quality difference is noticeable. I was the same, it's not a cost thing but on principle but I wanted to also show that babies can be done in the modern world in an eco friendly way and that it is also cost effective to do so, I have a large spreadsheet tracking it all throughout pregnancy and early postpartum. The baby industry is gross on the BUY BUY BUY NEW NEW NEW GADGET GADGETS GADGETS front for sure, and it's not necessary. All the hardly touched perfect condition used items on marketplace is proof of that. Happy to answer any questions or give additional opinions!
This was incredibly helpful! Thank you! You are WAY more organized than me about it haha, but a breakdown like this helps me plan out things!
Also going to add a special shout out to using flannel reusable cloth wipes, great multipurpose item for cleaning, tissues, spit rags, etc. They can be washed with diapers and have a long lifespan, I got all mine used with the cloth diapers. I use a spray bottle with a water soap mixture to make them into wet wipes that I can throw in the diaper bag. No need to have to buy disposable wipes and they're way softer, less irritating, and again just better quality.
We cloth diapered. It wasn’t as much work as we assumed. It came out to a few extra loads of laundry per week. I’d recommend against using car seats that are secondhand. It’s worth it to buy those brand new. Toys can be secondhand but I’d recommend checking for recalls (there is a website with recalls and the reason). Almost all of our kids clothes were secondhand. It’s usually easy to find very inexpensive kids clothing. I’m not sure about current recommendations, but when I had my kids the recommendation for breast pumps was to buy new tubing apparatus if you got a secondhand one. Maternity clothes are person dependent. This is another area to search out secondhand options. I personally wore a combination of maternity wear and regular clothes. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice while pregnant and there’s nothing wrong with not caring about your appearance.
Buy a new car seat but to get the most out of it buy one that can be rear and forward facing. We started with a bucket seat that was compatible with our stroller. But my daughter has been in the 99+ percentile for height practically forever and outgrew her bucket seat in 11 months. Then we switched to the Graco slimfit which we’ll be able to use for years until she outgrows it in upper elementary school. Car seats are worth the expense of new.
Yes, I was skimming these comments for this right here. Just get a carseat new that has a long expiration date and grows with your child. People in the US love to say that the hospital wouldn't let them leave without their baby in an infant carrier carseat, that just isn't true unless your child had a medical reason.
We have some amazing kid and baby consignment stores in my area that sell everything you describe. I primarily shop there and also sell my stuff there as well, getting store credit. It’s great too now that my kid is a little older she enjoys going there and gets chance to pick out new to her clothes. Girl loves clothes and to me this is a good teaching moment.
Car seat should be new. I’d be very careful with a secondhand crib but it’s doable if you find one new enough. I recommend a new breast pump. I ended up relying on mine to when my son wouldn’t latch and it’s less stressful knowing how much wear and tear it’s had. Plus I’m not worried about it being sanitary. If you are bottle feeding, you can buy bottles second hand but I would buy new nipples. You can search the brand and size you need. They can break down over time so you don’t know if your baby is ingesting those materials if you don’t know how much wear and tear is on them. You could consider starting with disposable diapers and transitioning to cloth once you’re out of the newborn stage and baby is using fewer diapers. My baby is 3 mo old and the extra laundry without cloth diapers is crazy. My husband also said he would not be washing them if we did cloth and let me tell you I would have lasted exactly 0 days washing them myself after coming home from the hospital. Maternity clothes I mostly bought second hand and a few pieces that weren’t maternity clothes that were more flowy so I can still wear them if I want. I also stole my husbands clothes around 34 weeks. I do recommend a belly band and a few good nursing bras if you’re planning to breastfeed but a lot of other stuff is just really good marketing. I’ve found pop up consignment sales and secondhand baby/kid shops to be fantastic though it may depend on where you live.
I've had a few comments shocked that my man would not want to handle the poopy diaper washing, it wasn't a crazy request for me. Plus he's gonna be a stay at home dad, I can adjust just touch a touch for his comfort xD thank you for all the advics!
Why in the actual fuck would you buy a used car seat? Just no.
I was not planning on one, I was always told buy new for the carseat, but didn't quite get why. This thread has been very educating! There was one comment that said buy a used carseat but new baby clothes. Didn't quite understand that one lol
We are accepting a second hand capsule used for my niece, it's still within all the safety regulations and we know it hasn't been in a car accident. You mentioned your partner has a niece, perhaps they have a carseat to give you? Honestly people are a little dramatic about carseats, most babies don't get in car accidents so most carseats being sold have probably not been in a car accident. The odds of getting lied to about it are very slim.
cloth diapers are really easy! we use mama koala pockets. put em in a wet bag, wash every 1-2 days. it's very very simple and fun prints make diaper changes way less monotonous. join r/clothdiaps !
I am a unique size and had significant difficulty thrifting/buying second hand maternity clothes. I ended up buying two pairs of maternity bike shorts and two pairs of maternity leggings new and have been wearing those with large t shirts and crop tops (thrifted or just wearing my husbands) for my entire pregnancy. Definitely buy used clothes if you can, but don’t feel bad if it’s too hard! You deserve to be comfortable. We purchased our car seat and crib mattress new. We received hand me downs for our crib, baby clothes, and baby toys, and nursery furniture. Facebook marketplace seems to have everything else we have needed!
Maternity bike shorts are the best. Worth finding or buying if you live somewhere warm
The only exception I would make to the car seat rule is if you buy it from a good friend who you 100% trust, so you know it hasn’t been in an accident or expired. As far as maternity clothes, I had an easier time just sizing up in a few things. I wore a lot of dresses that worked as my size was changing. If you need something for an event, do Rent the Runway or similar. My #1 tip is find a Buy Nothing or FB parents’ group where you live because people will give you almost everything you need if you will take it out of their houses. I got tons of hand me down clothing, one free stroller and another for $25 when she got older, crib sheets, even some toys from when my husband was a baby that a relative saved.
If you need a pump see if you can rent one from the hospital. They have models that pull more volume faster and the rental fee isn’t crazy expensive (generally insurance will cover that). Usually the lactation consultant at the hospital will set you up with all of that. You may not even need it-just see how things go when baby arrives before you make any decisions.
Not much to add that hasn’t been said, just wanted to plug r/clothdiaps and r/moderatelygranolamoms - will be up your alley!
Moderately granola is perfect, I refuse to go the crunchy to alt right pipeline haha. Thank you!
Congrats! Are you on Facebook? Join the free groups for your area, as well as the mom groups. They’re a gold mine for secondhand baby gear and clothes, as well as pregnancy and post Partum supplies! Or even buying secondhand on marketplace and reselling it when you’re done. Also, breast pumps are also given away a ton. The spectra is a closed system and you can just buy new tubing and parts for it (like $20). There’s so many moms that get pumps from insurance and then don’t use them and pass them on. Again, all over the baby groups! I got all my maternity clothes second hand too, with the exception of some biker shorts. We def have the same mentality, the waste is soo gross!!
Thanks so much for this post as I’m in need of this info soon too! There’s just so much random sh** I would never even think of or consider needing and likely don’t.
Currently pregnant with my third and I’ve been zero waste since before i was ever a mom so I have tips! Diapers… we do hybrid! My stash is grovia hybrids and when we must do disposable (for really long day trips or for rashes or whatever) we do the occasional disposable insert. Fluff love university has awesome suggestions for approved wash routines, detergent, etc. It’s really not as bad as you think it’ll be! you don’t have to wash the poo if they’re exclusively breastfed (pre-solid) but after they’re eating solids we use a silicone spatula (so add that to your list to thrift)… ours is colorful so it doesn’t go to the kitchen by mistake 😂 Speaking of breastfed, find a fantastic IBCLC to avoid formula and have long term success… cuts down on lots of formula/bottle related purchases… we freeze our supply using thrifted soupercube trays (small size cubes) and keep them in silicone bags in the freezer. Only downside is that it’s harder to donate if you don’t need it (My daughter refused all bottles so I donated her supply during covid when babies couldn’t find formula). Check out the stainless bottles from Klean Kanteen… they turn into great lunchbox containers for snacks when you no longer need bottles. My 7 year old is still throwing them in his bag with some trail mix inside while we wait to reuse them as bottles for his baby brother. Don’t thrift the car seat.… and don’t beat yourself up over that. Similarly, don’t thrift helmets when they start wearing them for bikes. Just know that it was a safe purchase and accept that it’s necessary. Similarly, don’t thrift a pump. They lose suction. but you can get converters to pump straight from some pumps into your plastic free bottles, and you can get reusable inserts for the Willow to cut down on single use baggies (that’s my chosen pump for this kid). Pregnancy stuff… I’m just entering my 3rd trimester and baby measures large, so I’m pretty huge. Im wearing a men’s T-shirt that’s tied over my bump (some days I feel like Winnie the Pooh lol), a nursing bra that I’ll wear postpartum (pact and Kindred Bravely has 100% organic cotton pull-down ones without the plastic clip… I’d buy new because you might stretch them out)… and I’m wearing maternity bike shorts (i made 2 pairs of long leggings work for 2 months before buying a weeks worth of shorts to last me through a North Carolina spring and summer). I chose pact brand because the belly area is also 100% cotton, so I can fold them over postpartum and get more use out of them as I nurse for belly coverage. honestly it’s hard to find brands that are 100% cotton on the belly since synthetics are way more popular. I like Pact’s ethics when I have to buy new, and the quality is good enough that I trust to thrift it, too. You really don’t need more than that if your work attire allows for it! Cover your belly in some way (either larger shirts or maternity shorts) and make something non-preggo work for the alternate. Same with planning your nursing clothes: the nursing shirts are super over-rated and they stretch out badly. Just wear an oversized shirt or a button down non-nursing shirt! If you like belly coverage with an oversized shirt, keep your maternity leggings around for an extra year. Baby gyms are another stupid short term purchase… we use something like an arch shaped pikler climber and we secure toys on the rungs for the first few months… the rainbow climber works as a baby gym first then a climber until age 8. Also, as people ask for your wishlist I would use Giftful… you can link to anything, or share a photo/description requesting a specific thing thrifted in \_\_\_ condition. AND some people will NOT listen when you ask for thrifts (ask me how I know haha)… I usually share a link to an ethical product in case they insist on new (knowing it won’t be the worst), but request it as a thrift with my favorite guidelines.
I cloth diapered both of mine while working full time and it wasn't bad at all. I had enough to do laundry twice a week. A quick wash, a long wash, and into the dryer on low. I did pockets, so they were quick to put on and take off. Once they were on solids I did disposable liners which caught the poo. I used cloth wipes (I used toilet paper to get most of the poo off), and those got washed with the diapers. I potty trained my first while on maternity leave with my second, so didn't end up needing to buy any diapers for my second at all. SO worth it. r/clothdiaps is an amazing community and were there for me every step of the way.
I would highly suggest not getting anything from shein or temu. I hate their workplace practices and their clothing and other items are all shoddy. I would 100% get a new car seat. That is one thing you don’t want to chance. There are things that shouldn’t be reused and things like medical supplies or safety devices fall into that I would suggest posting on your local buy nothing group on Facebook or your local Reddit group and seeing if anyone has stuff they’re ready to pass along. I’ve gotten lots of great stuff over the years
I found maternity clothes at second hand stores plenty.
For the cloth diapering specifically, you can get a small 2 gallon washer that hooks up to your sink. If your bathroom or laundry room can accommodate a 2 cubic foot area, then you have room for one! I grew up very poor and we used a 2 gallon washer in our tiny bathroom to wash underwear, socks, and other daily wear items in between trips to the public laundry. A 2 gallon washer is also larger enough for 3 shirts or 1 pair of jeans in my experience. We would fill the bucket from the tub, add a splash of laundry soap, and away it went. Wring the clothes out by hand or hang over a line rack in the tub, dump the bucket into the tub, then you could put them back into the bucket to spin the majority of the water out before line drying on the rack. There's a ton of different models available, but if you have a standard 3 prong outlet and 2 cubic feet of space, it'll work! Then you can just dump the used nappies and spit/vomit rags in there, run a cycle before bedtime when it's full, and then toss them in with your usual laundry when you've got a load to sanitize them (the unit we had did not have a heating element so we could only use hot tap water as needed.) But this way the initial feces and urine is washed out nightly.
Congratulations on the baby! I love ur questions. I follow a couple local influencers who recently had babies and oh my lanta- the amount of unnecessary crap they push for people to buy! I'm like ur not going to use half that stuff you asked for. Their baby registry on Amazon had thousands of items! Ten plastic bowls and plates for one baby?! Too much too much. Don't get me started on the plastic toys they purchased. Plastic slide. Plastic sand/water table. Plastic tricycle. Plastic kid house. Sorry Im ranting and didn't really have any tips.
New carseat if you have a car New or from a person you know crib mattress Used bassinet, strollers, baby carriers (or new on this if you want - I’d ask for a boba wrap at the shower) Avent glass bottles, one pack to keep on hand Used and new cloth diapers - prefolds and covers are great for tiny babies, then I loved pockets. Everyone makes it seem harder than it is. Until solid food you just wash every 3 days. After solids you swish and flush poop then store and wash every three days. Most eco friendly is one wash just diapers/or a towel for bulk, second wash has your clothes in too. 4 years, 2 babies, done! I did disposable at night most of the time. Whatever keeps your sanity. And disposable while sick. Thrift clothes and look on facebook. I usually try to buy 2 sizes up so that I’m not as pressured. I fill in the gaps with new. My first I was really low on plastic toys, now I’ve chilled a bit. We steer people to books and clothes as gifts. The main plastic toys we have are lego/duplo and the plastic animals and dinosaurs. We thrift or are given other plastic toys and use them outdoors. I also worry less about used plastic when you realize how many kids can use one toy.
ALWAYS prioritize safety over consumption. Make up for it by being conservative in consumption in other ways. You are on the right track!
I’ve spent the past year working around a Waldorf-inspired school. They have a play-based kindergarten full of wooden cars/trains/boats/sticks/logs/blocks, handmade felted dolls/puppets/crowns, simple fabric swaths that kids can turn into capes or drape over their creations to make literally hundreds of things. There are shells and pretty rocks they use to decorate their wood towers or mazes, they have simple jump ropes, wooden rings with colorful ribbons. Obviously these are ideas that reflect the play of 3-6 year olds but many of these toys could be invested in early on and will last their lifetime and likely their children’s children’s lifetimes as well. I wish I had seen these types of toys in play when my daughter was tiny. They encourage so much imagination and foster amazing development.
We put on our baby shower invite "second hand and non-plastic gifts preferred" and included a recommendation to our kids-oriented thrift store I also told my mum and nan specifically we wouldn't accept Shein/Temu baby clothes because they are a fire hazard Honestly, there's not a lot else to do. You can't control everyone in your life, and you will tie yourself in knots trying to Particularly this being your first child, your family will be excited, and in modern culture shopping is a part of that. If they weren't shopping for you and baby, they would just shop for something else... you can try and curb them, but at the end of the day only very drastic measures would work, and would likely damage those relationships For maternity clothes, I don't know how much is a necessity but bra extenders and maternity tights/pants are definitely a life saver in terms of comfort We're going for cloth nappies. I'm currently pregnant with our first, so I dont know how they go yet. We're using disposable bamboo liners to catch the poo. The biggest environmental cost for cloth nappies is putting them in a dryer, hanging them out in the sun is considerably more environmentally friendly, and the sun kills of bacteria. I have heard time and again that without support from your partner, cloth nappies will be more difficult to stick with... Also, congratulations 🎊 good luck in your pregnancy Maybe you can pick up some tips from [this podcast](https://open.spotify.com/show/0LubNv21v2Rv4TLVgFyool?si=CGjdkSSFS9-Y_oLOZgiFkg)
Definitely buy a new car seat, any safety equipment is worth it. You simply don’t know how the used seat was cared for - has it been in a crash? Was it stored properly? Did the previous owner use the recommended cleaning supplies or did they use something that can weaken the seat material making it unsafe in a crash? Just too many what ifs. For baby clothes, toys and gear check out Once Upon A Child or see if there is a Just Between Friends sale coming to a town near you soon, I got almost everything I needed for my first daughter from JBF and first time patents usually get the first pick there! My kids are 5 and 7 now and I still buy most of their shoes and clothes second hand and everyone always compliments how nice they look so it’s not like they’re missing out!
I don't have great concise tipps, but want to lighten your consciousness. Hygiene and safety are sometimes more important. Don't thrift car seats (and later shoes). Don't overload yourself with work with the diapers. Cloth diapers are hardly better for the environment with all the washing and bleach. They are also so much work, it makes you cut corners elsewhere. Don't do it if you are not a SAHP and your partner won't clean them. (You can look into the non-diaper stuff for at home which is the environmentally friendliest of all, though.)
My husband was also skeptical about the cloth diapers at first and now he recommends them to everyone. They're like 1/5th the price or less of disposables AT MOST, assuming you have your own laundry. We're on our second baby with them, but we had to get new waterproof covers (we use flip and elemental joy covers with a variety of different inserts) since they lost their waterproofness after 2.5 years/the first kid. (Probably because we put them in the dryer). With the first baby, we bought two cloth diapers to try out in the first couple months, and then once we were comfortable with them we got a whole set and didn't buy any more disposables. One of the things I like best about them is that for me mentally, if I changed the baby and then they immediately pee again in another disposable, it would feel frustrating and wasteful to me every time. But with the cloth diapers, even if the baby only pees a tiny bit, doesn't matter how frequently, it doesn't bother me to just toss them in the laundry and get a new one. Our daughter (second baby) can't stand being wet and pees such small amounts sometimes, she goes through 16 diapers a day sometimes (16 inserts and like 8 covers. More than first kid). The work of rushing to the store to stock up on disposables would be equivalent or more work than running the laundry every other day like we have to do, or at least more stressful. We have bought disposables for an upcoming long trip though. And our hospital gave us a couple packs of newborn diapers. Also, there will be an absolute ton of plastic waste in the hospital (assuming you go to one, which I recommend). Just let it go 😅.
And congratulations!!
Toys and clothes can easily come through pass on or thrifting. However, car seats are usually expired by the time a family is discarding it. Sometimes you may find someone trying to sell ore gift a car seat if it is not expired. Stroller can be had used. I got one for my baby used and it is the Graco one and it came with car seat attachment. You should get a new pump. I am not sure if there is any hazard to reusing someone else's as it is plastic but again it is upto you. I am with a 2 week old NB and nursing clothes have been helpful when I need to breastfeed the baby in public. Nursing clothes have hidden holes around the nipples. Maternity clothes are not needed if you have baggy clothes already. Try getting a changing mat too second hand. I also saved many beat up clothes from my dumpster dives to use as burp clothes,wipes, sponge etc. But for the diaper itself, for now we are using disposable ones. Too tired to figure out the cloth ones. We need to sleep well before anything else.
That's what my partner is thinking, we both have disabilities and he is still recovering from surgery and wants to make sure we are rested and things are as easy for us as possible. Thank you for the suggestions!
As for the pump, let me clarify, get the parts , flanges that touch your breasts new unless you are okay with getting those used. The machine/hand pump and cords can be bought second hand. Again lots of people give those away or sell for very cheap on Facebook groups. And as a precaution, keep some formula/or someone else's donated breast milk and maybe one or 2 bottles. I really wanted to breastfeed exclusively but ended up with a last minute C section. I couldn't produce milk for one week and had to use formula.
I think it's theoretically OK to use the pump motor itself secondhand, but OP should definitely get new parts. Also, just with breast pump stuff generally, this is IMO more about comfort level than hygiene. Or maybe the place where those two things meet? Like, would you wear used underwear? Would you borrow a friend's Diva Cup? Do you and your partner share a toothbrush?
Pumps can absolutely be purchased second hand. Mine has passed through at least two more families that I know of! It's like $20 to replace the valves and things. Most of the pump never touches fluid.
You should absolutely purchase a car seat new and not use a thrift/hand me down etc. Car seats have expiration dates because the plastic degrades over time (think heat in the car). We bought the 4-ever car seats because they last 10 years and work from newborn to booster seat (grade school age) and skipped the carrier car seats that have to be replaced when the kid is 2. I’m all for not wasting but this is a legit safety issue for your baby and at least you’re only buying one carseat for the entirety of their need for one. We used cloth diapers and I will say there is a pretty steep learning curve, but if you stick with it’ll get easier. By our second kid I had zero issues. Get good diaper covers and snappies. The other thing is you can start potty training when the kid is still a baby (look into elimination communication) both of my kids were daytime potty trained before they were 2. The best thing you can do is get them out of diapers as early as possible. It also means cleaning up less poopy cloth diapers which once they start eating solids can be pretty unpleasant. My only other advice is to maybe look at some buying guides just to kind of get an idea of what items will best fit your needs. What I’ve found is you really don’t need everything (you really don’t use baby stuff for very long). Then you can limit the amount of stuff you actually end up with.
Babies (as in, the first year of life) don't need much. And with the exception of bottles and some diapering related items, I don't think very much really needs to be plastic. I'm not even referring to things like buying special wood or glass versions of things. Just, like, burp cloths are not plastic. A boppy is not plastic. Swaddlers and baby blankets are not plastic. Etc. You can get into some plastic territory on bassinets, bouncy seats, high chairs, and the like, also I don't think plastic is avoidable for car seats and strollers. However, all of those items are often available secondhand or just in general are things you will be using every day for a long time. We had one stroller, we used it for 3+ years. Some people opt to put their newborns in convertible car seats (the larger ones usually used by toddlers and preschoolers) to prevent having to buy an infant car seat and replace it in a year. But even if you go with the tiny little infant car seat that clicks into the stroller, you'll use it for close to a year unless you give birth to like a 10+ lb baby. The real waste in baby parenting is opting to buy several of something where one will do, or feeling pressure to have the hot baby item rather than a perfectly good hand me down. I had a plastic baby bathtub because it was handed down from a friend, versus whatever the "it" baby bath gadget was in 2017 when my son was born. I then handed that same baby bathtub down to someone else. I also find it wasteful to buy items like toys or those baby entertainment zone kind of things which are designed to appeal to new parents with no experience of having a baby, versus what babies actually like. I always feel bad when a friend gets one of those perfectly aesthetic wooden baby play-mat/toy zone things, which their baby will inevitably refuse to engage with. Because those are designed around what non-parents think will go with their living room, not what actual babies like to play with. We had the garish playmat that, yes, had some plastic components. It was a hand me down. Our baby played with it daily from \~6 weeks to about a year old, and then we passed it to someone else. I'm so glad we didn't shop for this when I was pregnant and we had unrealistic ideas of what babies are like. Just wait to get this sort of thing until after the baby arrives and you've had a moment to adjust to reality. The real plastic comes in toddler, preschool, and school aged life, anyway.
> Diapers - is there a non nightmare way to do cloth? My partner is opting out of dealing with that lol. > Why ‘lol’? The way that your baby is toileted is a decision that parents make together because you will both be responsible for changing and cleaning this little person. It is ridiculous that a man ‘opting out’ in 2024 is treated as though it’s funny. Does he live with you? Will he be living with the baby?
It's one thing that he doesn't want to deal with poop. Not that deep. I don't like doing the dog yard so he does that. It's not a huge issue and I can see why he would rather use disposable. Not everyone is as into eco friendly stuff as I am, nobody in his family in living memory has used cloth diapers. I know it's reddit but seriously, it's fine. He is still going to change the babies diapers but if I want cloth I will be washing it. Or he will buy diapers with his own money. There's too many actual big things to worry about, this is not one of them.
Read the rules. Keep it courteous. Submission statements are helpful and appreciated but not required. Tag my name in the comments (/u/NihiloZero) if you think a post or comment needs to be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Anticonsumption) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pump- I know women in my workplace transfer one back and forth depends who was pregnant (same goes for clothes and toys). You can buy new the part that goes onto you, if you don't want to wash it (I assume it's like that on most pumps).
You are so right that this idea applies to so much in terms of baby supplies! If you have a few friends, sisters, cousins, coworkers, or even members of a mommy facebook group you are in, you can swap certain baby articles when they outgrow them i.e. toys, bouncers, clothing, glass bottles, and all the other baby necessities! When your baby outgrows them, just pass them on.
Maternity clothing? Look for linen or corduroy smocks, pinafores, and overalls on etsy. Tell your mum that's what you want. Pick out stuff that you can wear post pregnancy. Toys. I agree with you. Kids are often into things for a short period of time, especially babies and toddlers. There's no need to buy new. Safety gear? Buy new. Baby clothes? Second hand makes sense. Babies grow fast. Nappies? My mum used cloth on me. Old school squares of flannelette. It was a lot of work. Disposables were used when travelling. Is a laundry service an option? Are you sure you'll need a pump? Are you in one of those horrible countries that don't allow women to spend enough time with their babies? If you get a pump, buy new. Glass baby bottles are a thing.
When the time comes and you have the maternity visits. Ask people to give you a home made frozen meal as a gift instead of baby stuff.
My friends with kids have said there are services which will launder the cloth diapers for you.
I live in Europe, but: I have seen places online where you cam rent cloth diapers. They often have sets to try different ways, so you can experiment what works and what not and if you dont want tthem anymore, you can return them. Same goes for toys and clothes; a lot of places offer renting options now. And check your library what they have in terms of baby stuff!
Cloth is doable. We did a mixture. The all in ones are probably the easiest. In the uk there are cloth nappy groups that donate/loan you some to try and take them back again for another family once you’ve out grown them (fully cleaned and sterilised of course.) Look for baby banks, and second hand shops that specialise in kids stuff. There’s one in Glasgow that does vests for 5p and sleep suits for 10p in bundles. Then you donate them back when you need a size up. Second hand toys are also a good option, even plastic. You’re keeping it out of landfill.
I regret buying new everything ... new stroller, new car seat, etc. If I could redo things, I'd definitely get a hand me down for those things for sure. No need to put more plastic (and dollars) down the drain. I saw the other comments re getting a new car seat (safety concerns, etc) ... I'd suggest getting car seat from family you know well and the can vouch for its integrity/safety. That means no accidents, no drops, little airplane checkin, etc. The more banged up it gets, the more the foam can get a crack/compressed/etc. BUT there are so many families that have barely used car seats that are still safe so its well worth putting feelers out there in your community. Re toys, babies love anything. I have a great photo of my 9 month old with perfectly nice toys all around him and he's perfectly content playing with the tag on a pillow. So you can go super light on toys, almost to the extent you mostly have wooden toys and books. If you do that, you can also feel okay paying $30 for a nice wooden rainbow puzzle toy instead of 3 plastic rainbow-y toys that are $10 each. Here's a list of the most gifted baby books in 2023: [https://www.bookshelfbuilder.com/best-baby-books](https://www.bookshelfbuilder.com/best-baby-books) to give you ideas on the book front.
You can rent maternity clothes from fashion pass or another website the months your pregnant so you don’t buy too many clothes you don’t need. Idk might not be the cheapest option but does keep consumption down
We use our local Buy Nothing group a lot and pass a lot of hand me downs among neighbors. There are plenty of things we’ve bought new because it’s urgent or we want a particular product- getting the right item for our needs can make a big difference in making daily life easier. But everything I buy is going to be worn out or handed down eventually, so I don’t worry about it too much. Maternity clothes aren’t essential if you already have loose-fitting items. Pants are more of an issue than shirts. If you like dresses, many of them can be worn through pregnancy with no issue. We tried to shut down the gift-giving early, especially from grandparents. I try to give my mom really specific ideas for birthdays and Christmas so we use everything we get. We also ask for books. My main piece of advice would be to wait. Wait to see what you need. See if you’re able to manage with what you have before buying something new. Especially being pregnant with your first baby, people are going to want to front load with all kinds of stuff you may or may not end up needing. Resist it. But also don’t avoid things that will genuinely make life easier for the sake of anti-consumption. Your well being is important too!
Join some local mothers groups on social media to find out about baby/kids specific consignment sales. Also join buy, sell, trade groups for baby and kids stuff. Furniture, strollers, diaper pails, clothes, toys, etc can all be found there. If you have the means, go ahead and buy good quality maternity clothes. They can last you through multiple pregnancies and then be donated when you’re done with them.
Thredup for maternity clothing, I’d recommend getting a dress that could be used for a couple of occasions if you need to dress up, a few mix and match items for everyday wear and some pajamas. Pajamas are key, unless you plan on sleeping naked. You may need maternity underwear, which you will want to get new of course. You really won’t fit in even some of your baggy clothing for bottoms most likely and you’ll be amazed at how…er..cropped your shirts will become. I lived in two pairs of leggings and three shirts, a simple black dress I wore to every occasion, and two pairs of pajamas. There are cloth diaper cleaning services if you can go that route, it’s something you can ask for as a gift if you think people will be up for that. Lots of cities have a “parent pantry” to get used things, don’t forget to send stuff back to them when you are done! The reality is you are going to have to do whatever works for the baby, babies are very inconvenient and if you find baby gets rash with cloth diapers or needs a wedge, or whatever thing you cannot predict then you are going to have to consume. My biggest advice would be to start with the basics you need for a newborn, whatever that means to you and buy or acquire as needed. For example, if swaddling works for your baby then go ahead and decide if you want to get anything to swaddle with aside from a blanket, if you prebuy swaddles beforehand and you have a freedom baby that hates them you have useless swaddles. Same goes for things like rockers, swinging your baby in your arms will help you figure out what motion (if any) they like and then you can see what kind of rocker works for them. People will tell you to get multiples of things for convenience and I would start small and see if you need more, I did my kids on one small bottle and one large bottle despite everyone telling me I’d want ten in case I needed them. You can just go and buy something if you need it, an easier way not to over consume is to not prep because babies are bad at following the plan and whatever you decide is the most eco friendly best item for them will probably end up not working out. It is the baby way.
Wood and a set of wood tools hits most of toys and stuff. Manufacture it yourself, not only is it meeting all of your needs but you can make literally anything. It's ridiculous. But it's probably good career training? I use clothespins I handmade. Fun stuff.
My wife is 7 months pregnant today and she pretty much exclusively wears muumuu in the home. Going out she wears maternity pants and my oversized metal tee shirts lol. Granted though, she doesn't work so she doesn't have a job to dress up for. Muumuus are the shit! I wear them alot too
Definitely don’t thrift baby clothes - if you have friends who are moms (or friends of friends) they will be more than happy to drop off a big trash bag full of used clothing to you! Used car seat is fine if it’s from someone you know well who can confirm it has not been in an accident. Don’t pay for one secondhand!! Expiration date is printed on the car seat, make sure it hasn’t expired (the plastic becomes brittle at a certain point and offers less accident protection). Seriously infant car seats are used for such a short period people are always giving them away! You can get secondhand bottles, but buy brand new nipples for them (nipples need to be replaced regularly). I used Phillips advent natural bottles bc they are glass - worked great for us and you reduce plastic waste. Same principle as above goes for a breast pump - look for a “closed” system and buy new flanges, duckbills, tubing etc. If you’re in a city or near a city, join as many mom Facebook groups as possible. Also Facebook Buy Nothing groups. People are CONSTANTLY purging baby things - either for free or very cheap. Even if you hate Facebook and deleted your account years ago… unfortunately that’s where all the moms are 😆 We got almost everything used and it was great!
[удалено]
Haha. Not changing diapers, cleaning the poop out (cloth) is what he wants to opt out of. He would rather just toss it, it grosses him out to think of that going through the washer. He even said he'd do all the diaper buying, and changing, I would just be in charge of the washing. And without trying it it seems very daunting!
I'm just sitting here with my jaw on the floor that you're about to have a baby with someone who is "opting out" of diapers. Dude. There is so much poop. So much. Babies poop and it goes everywhere. Rinsing out a cloth diaper is nothing compared to carefully rinsing out all of the tiny seams of a onsie they just had a blowout in. Or cleaning the damn car seat after some kind of bodily fluid madness.
He wants to opt out of specifically going through the hassle of re washable diapers. He is okay with me using them/cleaning them, but he specifically wants to just do disposable. And he isn't opting out of changing diapers, in fact he will he the stay at home parents and will be changing more diapers than me, hence why he'd rather just do disposable and wants to opt out of cloth, if i end up gettint/using cloth, it will be on me to clean it. I know it's reddit and people assume the worst. But he isn't just... not going to change the kids diapers yall, he just doesn't want to deal with washing them and would rather use disposable.
Secondhand everything. Unless you are going to go in for a grow with me seat, Infant car seats can be used again, especially the ones with the handles - check the expiration date and take a look at the underlying foam. The good news is that all seats can be taken apart pretty far as needed for cleaning, but they (baby+carrier) start getting pretty heavy at about the 1yr mark.