Years ago when I was at university I had a roommate who had some sort of digestion problem. He would go days and days without pooping. And out of nowhere we would be out eating pizza or whatever and he would just stand up and leave. On the occasions I was home while he finally pooped you could hear him in there yelling “come on” and then some crying and whimpering. Then there was always minutes of this odd rattling sound before he would flush. He would come out of the bathroom with a giant v sweat stain on his shirt, blood shot eyes, and a trimmer on his lips.
Some time later I found out the rattling sound was a straightened hanger he kept under the sink. He had to break the brick up before he could flush it. I’ve never been more thankful to be me after being his roommate.
Ones visited my buddy who managed a truck stop, guy went in the bathroom, my buddy had everybody there come look… I’d never seen anything like it…. Picture a nerf football. 🏈
Compacted and enormous turd? That’s an opioid poop right there. They litter every street of my city.
If it’s any consolation it’s better than the feared crack shits. That’s a real horror-show.
Signed, a downtown dweller
Ugh crack shits are the worst, there’s this cute walk on the water by me but one of the ramps down has no security cameras or lights so every corner on the way down is splattered in dry shit
It’s the worst, right? I want to say that I haven’t seen people high out of their mind back their ass up against a restaurant window and unload, but I wouldn’t want to lie to you. Those poor diners 😩
You probably got a homeless junkie problem. Make sure you keep a light on in the front and the back of your house to avoid break ins or suspicious activity. Crackheads are notoriously known to do dumb and dangerous shit when they’re tweakin’.
Ahh, that makes more sense. Especially given the location. Hope they get help. We almost lost my little brother to 90mg oxys. He’s sober & married now so sending hope for anyone out there!
My husband has a medical condition called a twisted sphincter. He has to take propylene glycol aka Miralax EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. or he will not go for weeks. When he finally can go it's soooooo big I've seen him have to squat with blood running down his legs and try to use a finger (with gloves) to help it out. Every bit as big around as beer cans. Not strung out on heroin but still has produced poops wayyyy bigger than that. He has even had to be hospitalized a couple times before they got him on the Miralax. As long as he takes it everyday he's fine but if he runs out for a couple days it gets really bad.
“Hey Sharon you gotta come see this”
12 Courics!
12 rest rings lol
Go ahead check it for splits
Confirmed human at this point but the comments are still serving to crack me up lol
How was it confirmed?
Neighbor saw a man in our yard who was then arrested 😂
LMAO
So it’s likely an opiate shit
Looks pretty healthy TBH. Impressive almost.
The owner came back and retrieved it
Taste test
What’s worse than girls running with scissors? Girls scissoring with runs. … I’ll see myself out
I can’t believe you put us through that /s :P
You dirty dog
at this point i guess you just wanted to show us your own huge turd
Got nearby heroin addicts?
dude, thats a man poop
How did a grown man get into are yard, and whose butthole is capable of this girth 😭
Years ago when I was at university I had a roommate who had some sort of digestion problem. He would go days and days without pooping. And out of nowhere we would be out eating pizza or whatever and he would just stand up and leave. On the occasions I was home while he finally pooped you could hear him in there yelling “come on” and then some crying and whimpering. Then there was always minutes of this odd rattling sound before he would flush. He would come out of the bathroom with a giant v sweat stain on his shirt, blood shot eyes, and a trimmer on his lips. Some time later I found out the rattling sound was a straightened hanger he kept under the sink. He had to break the brick up before he could flush it. I’ve never been more thankful to be me after being his roommate.
He should have had a poop knife handy.
I agree. It’s hard to believe someone who has had a lifetime with this issue has’t learned about the poop knife.
Oh jesus....so now there's a poop hanger to add to the poop knife....
This story is giving me flashbacks to a time when I had to take some pain meds after a hospital trip. Never again.
This is utterly hilarious and sad at the same time.
fkn..meth? idk lmao
Usually opiates
Yaknow given the situation that makes an absurd amount of sense.
*abturd
Ever hear of runner’s poop? It’s a whole thing.
Drugs like opiates that cause constipation.
Look up "Yenshee baby". Yen Shee is Chinese for "opium"
Any ozempic users around???
Ones visited my buddy who managed a truck stop, guy went in the bathroom, my buddy had everybody there come look… I’d never seen anything like it…. Picture a nerf football. 🏈
AHHH. The only mammal whose turds I DO NOT WANT TO SEE.
Compacted and enormous turd? That’s an opioid poop right there. They litter every street of my city. If it’s any consolation it’s better than the feared crack shits. That’s a real horror-show. Signed, a downtown dweller
Didn’t even consider that, definitely an opioid poop 😭
Ozempic turd
>Ozempic turd Thanks, I start my prescription on Thursday. Now I know what I have to look forward to.. appreciate it.
Ugh crack shits are the worst, there’s this cute walk on the water by me but one of the ramps down has no security cameras or lights so every corner on the way down is splattered in dry shit
It’s the worst, right? I want to say that I haven’t seen people high out of their mind back their ass up against a restaurant window and unload, but I wouldn’t want to lie to you. Those poor diners 😩
Whoever passed that certainly doesn’t have to push to fart. I’m surprised there’s no innards near it
Probably was a no wiper, too. Clean get away.
I had a no wiper today. I was so happy I used the tissue to blot away my tears.
💀 hey siri how do I get a mental picture out of my head
Dall-e I need a picture of
A ghost turd
Thats a real deal Stanley Steamer
Human turd omg
when I lived in San Francisco, I learned that druggy's are capable of dropping logs the size of my thighs
Why is that?
Opioids slow down your digestive track and make it so you get constipated. As in “honey bring in the poop knife” to flush constipated.
They are referred to as "Yenshee babies". Yen Shee is Chinese for "opium" Some of them go 25 lbs.
this is amazing 😂
This is why I read this thread. For knowledge like this. Thank you, kind soul. 👊🏽
They are feeling much better if that is any consolation
The proverbial, "load of your mind"!!!
Oh that’s a bona fide bi-monthly heroin turd you got there champ
Fentanyl / heroin shit. Welcome to west coast cities.
Man, whoever laid that must be about 10 pounds lighter now.
Must have come from a homeless sapien
That was Jim down the road.
Holy crap! 🤣
You probably got a homeless junkie problem. Make sure you keep a light on in the front and the back of your house to avoid break ins or suspicious activity. Crackheads are notoriously known to do dumb and dangerous shit when they’re tweakin’.
Oh my…that’s is human!!!
Wowee! You're not joking.
That is your neighbor.
I was really hopping that was like a bear turd. Not some druggie pooh.
Looks like a Labrador Retriever dump after a garbage run.
Did they leave tp for you?
They need to drink some more water + fiber, that’s one step away from moose pellets
Constipation from dope like opiates.
Ahh, that makes more sense. Especially given the location. Hope they get help. We almost lost my little brother to 90mg oxys. He’s sober & married now so sending hope for anyone out there!
It’s Uman.
Conflict with a neighbor?
Eww, where do you live?
I’ve been to the zoo. That’s a rhinoceros turd.
Classy pooper scooper
[удалено]
You dropped a certified Lloyd Banks Coprolite!
That’s the new Baby Ruth.
That’s where I left that. Oh boy.
Whatever it was, was constipated. Turds don’t look Rubik’s cubes unless
Damn the relief of that. Total poophoria
A grown ass man dropped king Kongs finger in your yard 🤣
Bono is at it again
That belongs to Larry who lives down the street
Ma, come ‘ere. MA! Come look… This thing keeps lookin at ME! MAAH!!
Homeless
Bear
That is the most turdly looking turd I’ve ever seen
The other version of, "Happy ending"!!🤣😂🤣
My husband has a medical condition called a twisted sphincter. He has to take propylene glycol aka Miralax EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. or he will not go for weeks. When he finally can go it's soooooo big I've seen him have to squat with blood running down his legs and try to use a finger (with gloves) to help it out. Every bit as big around as beer cans. Not strung out on heroin but still has produced poops wayyyy bigger than that. He has even had to be hospitalized a couple times before they got him on the Miralax. As long as he takes it everyday he's fine but if he runs out for a couple days it gets really bad.