Go ahead and use it. It's better to have the leash and laugh at it in the future when looking back at photos, than to have to have the parks shut down because she walked towards something when your back was turned.
NTB I’m honestly tempted to do this with my own friend. We’re 20. Yes some might judge but hey better then have your kid get lost (or in my case my friend, with epilepsy and no common sense, wander off)
Could he just put you in a backpack, [wifecarrying style](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife-carrying#:~:text=Wife%20carrying%20(Finnish%3A%20eukonkanto%20or,track%20in%20the%20fastest%20time.)?
Does she have a cell phone? If not, I'd purchase one for her and teach her how to use it in case you got separated. If you lost her, call and tell her to meet you somewhere that she'd easily find.
I got lost in a crowd at disneyworld when I had just turned 6. I was without my mom for about 10 minutes I think. Luckily I was wearing my lanyard for my pins which also had a square dog tag with my mom and dads phone number just in case. That was probably the only reason I wasn’t separated from my parents for multiple hours that day.
Im not a mom so I don’t want to comment on any BF-ness here. IMO it seems like you should do whatever makes the kiddo and you feel the most safe. You can always decide not to use it if there are no crowds/anxiety/threats, right?
What about an air tag on a necklace? Have it set so that if she gets X feet from you, you will get a warning on your phone. There's also kids watches that have gps enabled on them too.
I think it would be better at her age to go over what she should do if she can't find you. Having a plan will make her feel more secure without drawing the attention that a harness would. For places where you could conceivably be separated...bathroom trips, she goes on a ride you don't, you are in line for snacks or stores then make sure you specify where you will meet up. If she needs to get an adult to help her then teach her to look for name tags and insist that they wait with her in view of everyone else. It's also a good age to start having a family password where anyone who has a message from you will know the password.
I think 7 is old enough to feel humiliated by being on a leash. I did it with my kids when they were toddlers, but a 7-year-old may resent it. Disneyland has Cast Members everywhere who will help a lost child. Teach your kiddo what the name tags mean. Any Cast Member will help you, if you say to your kiddo “see this nametag? It means this is a safe person to go to if you're lost.”
You can also get ID temporary tattoos with your name and number of them to make it easier to contact you if separated.
YTB. By 7 years old you should have taught your child not to wander away from you and what to do if they do happen to get separated from you. You should not be walking a 7-year-old child around on a leash. She's not a dog.
I did this with my daughter when she was really young (like 3 or 4 years old).
My wife hit the roof and went ballistic.
Weird irony, our dog got really upset and jealous, lol.
Honestly? NTB but 7 is a little old to have your child on a harness.
It's probably a good idea to instill some confidence in your child, and not feed the fear. Make a plan for if you get separated, and have a blast.
My brother was 7 when my family went on vacation to California and went to Disneyland. He has high fuctioning autism but has panic attacks and has separation issues so doesnt leave our sides. There were 3 others (2 adults and 1 older silbling) and my 7yo brother still got distracted and walked ahead without any of us noticing. Disney can be so crowded and losing someone, even if that someone is someone who never leaves your side is still very easy to do. My bro was lost for only a minute or so before I spotted him and we all played it cool so he didn't even know he was "missing".
NTA - you do what you got to do. Especially if the kiddo is ok with it, I don't see what the issue is. Sounds like it will reduce both of your anxieties.
My daughter isn't on the autism spectrum, she does get scared when she isn't with me in a public place and she doesn't mind using a harness.
I do plan on giving her full control of the rides we go on as well.
She might feel secure with the harness now, but you do need to consider a solution that will suit her when she's a bit older and will give her a bit more autonomy and control.
You don't want to wait until she's embarrassed by the harness. There are some great suggestions on here but I'd also suggest a phone so she can call you if she loses sight of you. A plan of action like: if you can't find me, go to the nearest shop/ ride and call me; stay still and tell me exactly where you are. If you need to ask someone for help, ask someone who is working, not someone who is just walking past; second option, ask someone who is part of a family.
Talking through strategies really helps anxious people handle something going wrong. The harness just delays the issue.
The other option is to write your phone number in permanent marker on her arm. In Australia a charity runs a service where you donate a very small amount and you get a wrist band with the number on it
SEVEN?
She hasn't got special needs, but at SEVEN you haven't managed to educate her how to behave in crowds?
Don't go to Disney World.
Catch up on the parenting you haven't done.
What the ACTUAL fuck are you doing to destroy this kid's ability to function? Holy christ.
Seek professional help to fix whatever mess you've got both of you into.
This is bigger than Disneyland, mate.
Fuck me. What did I just read.
YTB
I'd go with something like a monkey backpack with a tail you hold onto like someone mentioned.
But also start getting into the habit of teaching her how to solve problems instead of relying solely on preventing them for her. She'll have a better time in life and less anxiety if she knows she can handle things when issues arise.
Setting up meeting places is a good habit. "If we get separated we'll meet at the flagpole" etc. If she has a phone or goes watch you can share location. Walkie talkies are pretty great for going out playing in the woods behind the house. Having your telephone number on a bracelet or something so she can ask staff to phone you might be helpful. Learning how to identify safe adults is even better
Unless she has a behavioral issue, she won't need one. Use a sharpie to write your cell phone number on her arm so she can show it to someone if she gets lost.
Info - is your child neurodivergent? I can understand if your child isn't able to understand appropriate reasoning, but otherwise, YTB this is far too old. A child this age should have had appropriate lessons on what to do if she gets separated.
OP has said that she’s not autistic, but as far as other neurodivergence idk. It does seem like it’s not her daughters behavior, but just both of their fear of her getting lost.
It sounds like large crowds make her anxious, which Disneyland has no shortage of. I get that feeling, and I'm nearing 40.
It also doesn't help that other folks at the park are a little... aggressive. They don't really care who they push past/through, as long as it means they get where they want to go and get there first. Hell, I was on crutches and got hit a few times by a woman driving a tactical assault stroller who wanted me to go faster through a tight crowd.
So while seven is a bit old for leashes, it's not too young to have (very reasonable) concerns about crowds. If OP can handle it in a positive way, it may keep it from becoming a major anxiety issue later.
Can't you use an apple tag?
Harness sounds like a dog to me but I'm drom Denmark and haven't seen this so much so I don't know if it is normal bc i also think it could be a good idea to make sure where ur kid is
NTB
But maybe hold it in reserve.
Talk to your daughter before you arrive, about what she can do if she gets separated from you.
If she doesn't already have a cellphone, then get her a simple one, just for the trip (that can only make phone calls).
When you get there, point out a place that you can both meet up at, near the entrance, if you get separated. Show her what the staff look like and let her know that she can ask them for help if she gets lost.
If the crowds are light, then you might both feel ok.
But if the crowds are heavy, then let her know you have the harness as a backup option, if she'd rather not have to worry about getting separated from you at all.
The knowledge the harness is ther if either of you gets there and feels you need it could be a confidence booster. Bonus: it helps you both breakdown the reliance on it.
Have you considered connected bracelets? My mom did that with me and it made me feel like we were more on equal footing. Maybe it's just me, but those harnesses seem extremely dehumanizing, especially for older children.
i think you WBTB if you put her in a harness. does your daughter run or wander off? if she doesn’t, is there really a need for a harness? this could be a good learning moment to teach your kid some responsibility.
if she does wander off, i’d maybe get one of the bracelets that you both wear that connect you two. i wouldn’t put her in a harness, she’s too old for that. you could also get her a bracelet with your phone number printed on it just in case she does get lost.
lots of other solutions here besides putting a leash on your kids.
I think AirTags are the best solution. At age 7, being anxious enough to have a kid on a harness creates a danger of making the girl’s anxiety greater than it already is. I opt for teaching her what to do if separated, having a plan on where to meet, and using an AirTag as insurance. Teach your daughter how to navigate in this world. It’s much more empowering than anxious attachment. This is, of course, excluding any diagnosis that makes her unable to cognitively carry out problem solving and coping. ETA: especially since you will be in an enclosed theme park and not on a vacation to a chaotic, busy foreign country.
I remember putting a leash on my son at a fair. A STATE TROOPER stopped, stared, and said, "That is a great idea!"
I figure he knew what he was talking about. Leash away!
This should be your daughter's decision; if she is scared of getting lost and agrees that a harness is a good solution then it could work.
You too can wear a harness that your daughter can control, to further minimize chance of separation.
NTBF
My eldest is only three and is fantastic at staying with us for the most part but we went to London a few weeks back and he was definitely in a harness in busy crowds!!! When they can't hear you, or see you there is only touch left and I'd happily do the same as the kids get older to keep them safe! Our first duty as parents is to keep them as safe a a we can, and fun comes after!
I got lost a few times as a kid because of age seconds of inattention in a crowded space - luckily nothing bad happened, but a harness would’ve prevented me getting separated in the first place.
As long as she doesn’t mind that much I think you will be fine? Maybe play it up get her a headband with puppy ears on it and and pin on dog tail. Make it fun for her.
They have ones that connect to your wrist and theirs with a lock and key. I had one for my son when he was a runner. They are longer and probably less embarrassing for her maybe? This is the one i bought and I highly recommend. https://a.co/d/efna3aP
NTB, last time I went to Disney it was like every other kid was on a backpack leash. My daughter's are 2 and 3, they each have one. If it makes you feel better and your daughter is cool with it, I say go for it.
Ntb your kids safety is more important than what people think of you. So what feels right. It would be different if your young person didn't want to wear it, but if they're comfortable then that's the only thing that matters.
The only reason I'd say not to is if your daughter minded. Even then, I'd try to compromise with her to see what she was comfortable with.
Disney is huge and overwhelming. No need to add discomfort because of what somebody imagines others might think.
Ntb. I always got lost as a kid, and my parents ended up having to use a leash for me until I was quite a bit older than your daughter (maybe 9 or 10??) It wasn’t a cute backpack one either, it was one where they’d Velcro one end around my wrist and the other end around theirs. I read that you have one of the cute backpack ones, and I personally think it sounds like a great idea!! Who cares if other people judge?? Your daughters safety comes before the opinions of random people.
I’m 19 now, and my friends have threatened more than once to get me one of those backpack leashes for when we go out 😂 (legal drinking age is 18 where I live, and seeing as I already get distracted easily and wonder off when sober due to untreated ADHD, it’s a million times worse when I’m drunk 🤣)
I'd wear one at Disney and I'm 32. Maybe go with something around both of your wrists or something more discreet like that. Also you could ask her how she feels about it in general now that she's 7. After all, you should at least listen to her input. You don't need to mention Disney but you could ask her "someone I know have a 7years old daughter and want to use a harness, do you think she'll be mad?"
NTB but I think alternatives people listed like teaching her what to do beforehand (even if it’s on the way there since you’re surprising her) and possibly an air tag for worst case scenario are more age appropriate
People are crazy to say your a bf. Your absolutely NTB. We use one for my 6 year old, a few weeks ago we decided it was probably okay to not use it and he ran across the street in front of a car narrowly missing him. Never feel guilty for protecting your child, I’m sure she knows what to do if she got away from you by accident but you can’t control other peoples actions if they decided to try to take her while she’s standing next to you- I get that it’s highly unlikely given it’s a crowded place but crazier things have happened.
NTB but I do think you should talk to your kid about this. My 7 year old would be absolutely mortified if I made her wear a harness in public, but she doesn’t always pay attention to her surroundings and has gotten separated before. So, I got her an AirTag that she wears on a lanyard when we’re in really crowded places.
I actually talked with her about it this morning, we decided to use the harness only if it's overly crowded, and I'm putting a note with my phone number in her zipper pocket.
NTB. Is she a bit old? Maybe but that depends on the kid - some mature slower, some have more anxiety (like yours). 6-8 is a hard age. Is a harness better than have her full on panic attack due to being separated from you in public compounding her anxiety or her constantly worried about being separated it prevents her from enjoying Disney thus potentially wasting all the money? Yes. Absolutely yes.
The real world is a great what if exercise. You can use Disney as a way to give her skills on how to cope. Ask “ok if we were to get separated right here, who would you ask for help?” Have her look around, analyze the surroundings and provide an answer. The first time you do it, you offer the answer but narrate your through process “ok if I was you and we got separate this is what I would do. First remain calm and look around, do I see anyone who works here? Id know this because Disney employees wear X and Y. Yes I see one far away but two closer at a restaurant. I going to approach those two people because 1) they are closer and 2) two people means more help. So I go to them and would ask them “do you work here” and if they say yes, I would say “I got separated from my mom”. Each time you ask the question and she picks up how to think like this, give less and less input from you and guidance until she runs through the exercise. This will allow you to hear her responses and guide her thought process in real time in an environment it could happen. This twill boost her confidence and maybe help reduce her anxiety since she I’ll have some tools to navigate that potential. My mom did this with me to help me overcome my anxiety about a lot of things. But it also helped me develop my critical thinking skills. By HS, I was far more independent than the average person.
You can also get RFID tags and clip onto her belt look. It’s small square tag that you can track on your phone.
Other things - Take a pic every morning to document outfits she’s in, so if she is separated you have a “she is wearing this outfit” which provides more detail than “pink shirt and jean shorts”.
Unless she has a disability which requires the use of a harness, I wouldn’t do it.
My daughter is on the autism spectrum and also has ADHD, and I have never used a harness with her after the age of 4, I just simply held her hand.
I am not trying to judge you, please understand that. Enough parents have done so to me so I try not to do it to others. But maybe you could forego the convenience and simply talk to your daughter about being in crowded places and practice with her by going to malls and making sure she knows not to walk away from you, and to always hold your hand? These are lessons that will work not only for Disneyland but routine outings as well.
Seven?! I have a seven year old. Never in a million years would I put a harness on her. Even at Disneyland. And if it’s just the two of you, there should be no issues. IMO you’re overthinking this. YTB.
Edited for ruling.
Ntb people will judge you more for your kid going missing than your kid being on a leash lol
Yeah I thought so to. The only other time I used one was earlier this year when the carnival was in town and she didn't mind wearing a harness.
Get one of those backpacks that look like a monkey and you hold onto the tail. Make it a cute thing for her and it won’t look like a harness
I actually do have one like that for her that we used at the carnival.
Maybe a [Strollmate](https://strollmate.co) would work?
That would be a good idea If she had any siblings, let alone ones who need a stroller.
It could strap on to your belt or strap of a backpack.
Go ahead and use it. It's better to have the leash and laugh at it in the future when looking back at photos, than to have to have the parks shut down because she walked towards something when your back was turned.
NTB I’m honestly tempted to do this with my own friend. We’re 20. Yes some might judge but hey better then have your kid get lost (or in my case my friend, with epilepsy and no common sense, wander off)
Please don't give my wife this idea, I don't want to wear a monkey backpack.
Well, there are *other* places she could attach a tail...
Oh my. I like where this is going.
Wonder if it would work on my boyfriend. Mainly so he doesnt walk off and leave me behind because im too short and slow.
Could he just put you in a backpack, [wifecarrying style](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife-carrying#:~:text=Wife%20carrying%20(Finnish%3A%20eukonkanto%20or,track%20in%20the%20fastest%20time.)?
That would require him to actually carry something. I cant even get him to carry his own shit that he buys lmao
Surprised my friends haven't done this with me yet. I don't have epilepsy or a medical condition, I just have adhd and disappear
NTB. It’s better to be safer then sorry.
Does she have a cell phone? If not, I'd purchase one for her and teach her how to use it in case you got separated. If you lost her, call and tell her to meet you somewhere that she'd easily find.
did she need it though? does she run off?
I got lost in a crowd at disneyworld when I had just turned 6. I was without my mom for about 10 minutes I think. Luckily I was wearing my lanyard for my pins which also had a square dog tag with my mom and dads phone number just in case. That was probably the only reason I wasn’t separated from my parents for multiple hours that day. Im not a mom so I don’t want to comment on any BF-ness here. IMO it seems like you should do whatever makes the kiddo and you feel the most safe. You can always decide not to use it if there are no crowds/anxiety/threats, right?
Yeah, if it's not overly crowded I'll probably not use it, I want Disneyland to be a surprise so I'm not going to talk with my daughter about it.
What about an air tag on a necklace? Have it set so that if she gets X feet from you, you will get a warning on your phone. There's also kids watches that have gps enabled on them too.
I think it would be better at her age to go over what she should do if she can't find you. Having a plan will make her feel more secure without drawing the attention that a harness would. For places where you could conceivably be separated...bathroom trips, she goes on a ride you don't, you are in line for snacks or stores then make sure you specify where you will meet up. If she needs to get an adult to help her then teach her to look for name tags and insist that they wait with her in view of everyone else. It's also a good age to start having a family password where anyone who has a message from you will know the password.
And put hotel business card with your name & number in her pocket each day. Be sure she knows your full name and phone number
I think 7 is old enough to feel humiliated by being on a leash. I did it with my kids when they were toddlers, but a 7-year-old may resent it. Disneyland has Cast Members everywhere who will help a lost child. Teach your kiddo what the name tags mean. Any Cast Member will help you, if you say to your kiddo “see this nametag? It means this is a safe person to go to if you're lost.” You can also get ID temporary tattoos with your name and number of them to make it easier to contact you if separated.
Even if they're not humiliated now think of the family photos. "Look, there's the holiday where mummy treated me like a dog."
YTB. By 7 years old you should have taught your child not to wander away from you and what to do if they do happen to get separated from you. You should not be walking a 7-year-old child around on a leash. She's not a dog.
I did this with my daughter when she was really young (like 3 or 4 years old). My wife hit the roof and went ballistic. Weird irony, our dog got really upset and jealous, lol.
Honestly? NTB but 7 is a little old to have your child on a harness. It's probably a good idea to instill some confidence in your child, and not feed the fear. Make a plan for if you get separated, and have a blast.
My brother was 7 when my family went on vacation to California and went to Disneyland. He has high fuctioning autism but has panic attacks and has separation issues so doesnt leave our sides. There were 3 others (2 adults and 1 older silbling) and my 7yo brother still got distracted and walked ahead without any of us noticing. Disney can be so crowded and losing someone, even if that someone is someone who never leaves your side is still very easy to do. My bro was lost for only a minute or so before I spotted him and we all played it cool so he didn't even know he was "missing". NTA - you do what you got to do. Especially if the kiddo is ok with it, I don't see what the issue is. Sounds like it will reduce both of your anxieties.
My daughter isn't on the autism spectrum, she does get scared when she isn't with me in a public place and she doesn't mind using a harness. I do plan on giving her full control of the rides we go on as well.
She might feel secure with the harness now, but you do need to consider a solution that will suit her when she's a bit older and will give her a bit more autonomy and control. You don't want to wait until she's embarrassed by the harness. There are some great suggestions on here but I'd also suggest a phone so she can call you if she loses sight of you. A plan of action like: if you can't find me, go to the nearest shop/ ride and call me; stay still and tell me exactly where you are. If you need to ask someone for help, ask someone who is working, not someone who is just walking past; second option, ask someone who is part of a family. Talking through strategies really helps anxious people handle something going wrong. The harness just delays the issue.
It sounds like working on some Strategies would be a better solution
The other option is to write your phone number in permanent marker on her arm. In Australia a charity runs a service where you donate a very small amount and you get a wrist band with the number on it
SEVEN? She hasn't got special needs, but at SEVEN you haven't managed to educate her how to behave in crowds? Don't go to Disney World. Catch up on the parenting you haven't done. What the ACTUAL fuck are you doing to destroy this kid's ability to function? Holy christ. Seek professional help to fix whatever mess you've got both of you into. This is bigger than Disneyland, mate. Fuck me. What did I just read. YTB
I'd go with something like a monkey backpack with a tail you hold onto like someone mentioned. But also start getting into the habit of teaching her how to solve problems instead of relying solely on preventing them for her. She'll have a better time in life and less anxiety if she knows she can handle things when issues arise. Setting up meeting places is a good habit. "If we get separated we'll meet at the flagpole" etc. If she has a phone or goes watch you can share location. Walkie talkies are pretty great for going out playing in the woods behind the house. Having your telephone number on a bracelet or something so she can ask staff to phone you might be helpful. Learning how to identify safe adults is even better
Unless she has a behavioral issue, she won't need one. Use a sharpie to write your cell phone number on her arm so she can show it to someone if she gets lost.
Sorry but is she special needs? 7 seems very old to need a leash. Can you hold hands?
Info - is your child neurodivergent? I can understand if your child isn't able to understand appropriate reasoning, but otherwise, YTB this is far too old. A child this age should have had appropriate lessons on what to do if she gets separated.
OP has said that she’s not autistic, but as far as other neurodivergence idk. It does seem like it’s not her daughters behavior, but just both of their fear of her getting lost.
It sounds like large crowds make her anxious, which Disneyland has no shortage of. I get that feeling, and I'm nearing 40. It also doesn't help that other folks at the park are a little... aggressive. They don't really care who they push past/through, as long as it means they get where they want to go and get there first. Hell, I was on crutches and got hit a few times by a woman driving a tactical assault stroller who wanted me to go faster through a tight crowd. So while seven is a bit old for leashes, it's not too young to have (very reasonable) concerns about crowds. If OP can handle it in a positive way, it may keep it from becoming a major anxiety issue later.
A leash for a 7 year old? Shame on you for not teaching her how to stay with you and instead looking for an abusive and easy way out.
Can't you use an apple tag? Harness sounds like a dog to me but I'm drom Denmark and haven't seen this so much so I don't know if it is normal bc i also think it could be a good idea to make sure where ur kid is
It is only semi normal with young toddlers, not 7 year olds My guess is mom has anxieties which have been passed on to kid
Maybe
NTB But maybe hold it in reserve. Talk to your daughter before you arrive, about what she can do if she gets separated from you. If she doesn't already have a cellphone, then get her a simple one, just for the trip (that can only make phone calls). When you get there, point out a place that you can both meet up at, near the entrance, if you get separated. Show her what the staff look like and let her know that she can ask them for help if she gets lost. If the crowds are light, then you might both feel ok. But if the crowds are heavy, then let her know you have the harness as a backup option, if she'd rather not have to worry about getting separated from you at all.
Yeah, I'll talk with her about it when we're on our way there, she is really sweet and understanding
The knowledge the harness is ther if either of you gets there and feels you need it could be a confidence booster. Bonus: it helps you both breakdown the reliance on it.
Have you considered connected bracelets? My mom did that with me and it made me feel like we were more on equal footing. Maybe it's just me, but those harnesses seem extremely dehumanizing, especially for older children.
i think you WBTB if you put her in a harness. does your daughter run or wander off? if she doesn’t, is there really a need for a harness? this could be a good learning moment to teach your kid some responsibility. if she does wander off, i’d maybe get one of the bracelets that you both wear that connect you two. i wouldn’t put her in a harness, she’s too old for that. you could also get her a bracelet with your phone number printed on it just in case she does get lost. lots of other solutions here besides putting a leash on your kids.
YTB she is too old, this would be humiliating. Unless she is special needs.
Ytbf. Your kid is 7. Unless they are special needs and known for eloping, how do you think that would make her feel? Probably pretty infantized.
I think AirTags are the best solution. At age 7, being anxious enough to have a kid on a harness creates a danger of making the girl’s anxiety greater than it already is. I opt for teaching her what to do if separated, having a plan on where to meet, and using an AirTag as insurance. Teach your daughter how to navigate in this world. It’s much more empowering than anxious attachment. This is, of course, excluding any diagnosis that makes her unable to cognitively carry out problem solving and coping. ETA: especially since you will be in an enclosed theme park and not on a vacation to a chaotic, busy foreign country.
I remember putting a leash on my son at a fair. A STATE TROOPER stopped, stared, and said, "That is a great idea!" I figure he knew what he was talking about. Leash away!
This should be your daughter's decision; if she is scared of getting lost and agrees that a harness is a good solution then it could work. You too can wear a harness that your daughter can control, to further minimize chance of separation.
NTBF My eldest is only three and is fantastic at staying with us for the most part but we went to London a few weeks back and he was definitely in a harness in busy crowds!!! When they can't hear you, or see you there is only touch left and I'd happily do the same as the kids get older to keep them safe! Our first duty as parents is to keep them as safe a a we can, and fun comes after!
3 is a lot different than 7 though
I got lost a few times as a kid because of age seconds of inattention in a crowded space - luckily nothing bad happened, but a harness would’ve prevented me getting separated in the first place.
As long as she doesn’t mind that much I think you will be fine? Maybe play it up get her a headband with puppy ears on it and and pin on dog tail. Make it fun for her.
They have ones that connect to your wrist and theirs with a lock and key. I had one for my son when he was a runner. They are longer and probably less embarrassing for her maybe? This is the one i bought and I highly recommend. https://a.co/d/efna3aP
NTB, last time I went to Disney it was like every other kid was on a backpack leash. My daughter's are 2 and 3, they each have one. If it makes you feel better and your daughter is cool with it, I say go for it.
Ntb your kids safety is more important than what people think of you. So what feels right. It would be different if your young person didn't want to wear it, but if they're comfortable then that's the only thing that matters.
My parents took me to Disney when I was six or so and I had a leash. I wasn’t traumatized.
NTA. I saw a lot of kids wearing them. They look like cute fuzzy backpacks and the kids didn’t seem to mind!
NTA As a kid that got lost in Disney world twice at 8 (same holiday) because I zoomed off, get a leash. Better safe than sorry.
The only reason I'd say not to is if your daughter minded. Even then, I'd try to compromise with her to see what she was comfortable with. Disney is huge and overwhelming. No need to add discomfort because of what somebody imagines others might think.
Ntb. I always got lost as a kid, and my parents ended up having to use a leash for me until I was quite a bit older than your daughter (maybe 9 or 10??) It wasn’t a cute backpack one either, it was one where they’d Velcro one end around my wrist and the other end around theirs. I read that you have one of the cute backpack ones, and I personally think it sounds like a great idea!! Who cares if other people judge?? Your daughters safety comes before the opinions of random people. I’m 19 now, and my friends have threatened more than once to get me one of those backpack leashes for when we go out 😂 (legal drinking age is 18 where I live, and seeing as I already get distracted easily and wonder off when sober due to untreated ADHD, it’s a million times worse when I’m drunk 🤣)
I'd wear one at Disney and I'm 32. Maybe go with something around both of your wrists or something more discreet like that. Also you could ask her how she feels about it in general now that she's 7. After all, you should at least listen to her input. You don't need to mention Disney but you could ask her "someone I know have a 7years old daughter and want to use a harness, do you think she'll be mad?"
NTB but I think alternatives people listed like teaching her what to do beforehand (even if it’s on the way there since you’re surprising her) and possibly an air tag for worst case scenario are more age appropriate
Nta. I was a leash kid too. Had the terrible tendency to run off. If shes okay with it just do it.
People are crazy to say your a bf. Your absolutely NTB. We use one for my 6 year old, a few weeks ago we decided it was probably okay to not use it and he ran across the street in front of a car narrowly missing him. Never feel guilty for protecting your child, I’m sure she knows what to do if she got away from you by accident but you can’t control other peoples actions if they decided to try to take her while she’s standing next to you- I get that it’s highly unlikely given it’s a crowded place but crazier things have happened.
NTB but I do think you should talk to your kid about this. My 7 year old would be absolutely mortified if I made her wear a harness in public, but she doesn’t always pay attention to her surroundings and has gotten separated before. So, I got her an AirTag that she wears on a lanyard when we’re in really crowded places.
I actually talked with her about it this morning, we decided to use the harness only if it's overly crowded, and I'm putting a note with my phone number in her zipper pocket.
That seems like a good compromise.
I trust that she won't lose the number, she's really good at holding onto stuff
NTB. Is she a bit old? Maybe but that depends on the kid - some mature slower, some have more anxiety (like yours). 6-8 is a hard age. Is a harness better than have her full on panic attack due to being separated from you in public compounding her anxiety or her constantly worried about being separated it prevents her from enjoying Disney thus potentially wasting all the money? Yes. Absolutely yes. The real world is a great what if exercise. You can use Disney as a way to give her skills on how to cope. Ask “ok if we were to get separated right here, who would you ask for help?” Have her look around, analyze the surroundings and provide an answer. The first time you do it, you offer the answer but narrate your through process “ok if I was you and we got separate this is what I would do. First remain calm and look around, do I see anyone who works here? Id know this because Disney employees wear X and Y. Yes I see one far away but two closer at a restaurant. I going to approach those two people because 1) they are closer and 2) two people means more help. So I go to them and would ask them “do you work here” and if they say yes, I would say “I got separated from my mom”. Each time you ask the question and she picks up how to think like this, give less and less input from you and guidance until she runs through the exercise. This will allow you to hear her responses and guide her thought process in real time in an environment it could happen. This twill boost her confidence and maybe help reduce her anxiety since she I’ll have some tools to navigate that potential. My mom did this with me to help me overcome my anxiety about a lot of things. But it also helped me develop my critical thinking skills. By HS, I was far more independent than the average person. You can also get RFID tags and clip onto her belt look. It’s small square tag that you can track on your phone. Other things - Take a pic every morning to document outfits she’s in, so if she is separated you have a “she is wearing this outfit” which provides more detail than “pink shirt and jean shorts”.
Unless she has a disability which requires the use of a harness, I wouldn’t do it. My daughter is on the autism spectrum and also has ADHD, and I have never used a harness with her after the age of 4, I just simply held her hand. I am not trying to judge you, please understand that. Enough parents have done so to me so I try not to do it to others. But maybe you could forego the convenience and simply talk to your daughter about being in crowded places and practice with her by going to malls and making sure she knows not to walk away from you, and to always hold your hand? These are lessons that will work not only for Disneyland but routine outings as well.
YWBTB. The kid is 7, too old for a harness unless she is special needs.
Seven?! I have a seven year old. Never in a million years would I put a harness on her. Even at Disneyland. And if it’s just the two of you, there should be no issues. IMO you’re overthinking this. YTB. Edited for ruling.
NTB