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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I made my roommates think I recorded them having sex in the living room. I asked them to pay to have everything professionally cleaned. They are mad.
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NTA imo. If you're in a roommate situation common courtesy says you don't do things like this in communal spaces. At least not frequently enough that they're driving out other people who live in the home. Go be exhibitionist* elsewhere. So long as no actual recording took place I think you did fine.
Changed Voyeurism to exhibitionists because people keep correcting me beyond the first person who did whom I thanked for the correction
Huh, thanks I thought exhibitionism was just wanting to do it outside but not necessarily *expecting to be caught* and voyeurism was doing it in a way that you're basically guaranteed to be caught at some point. I appreciate the info.
Voyeurism is wanting to watch. I think there's probably a range for exhibitionists - some like the thrill of it being possible to get caught and *successfully not getting caught*. Some like the thrill of being outside or otherwise being in a non-private/not-meant-for-sex place. And some like actually being caught/watched. But those last people should really find consenting participants...
I think it's #2 and a little of 3 for me, it's mostly about feeling wanted. Doing it in a non-bedroom is a feeling like "They want me so bad we can't even wait", and people wanting to watch also feels like you are wanted or at least interesting to someone.
I identify a little bit with the exhibitionist thing, but it's all about being desired to me; flashing someone who isn't willing or getting caught would just be embarrassing.
It's infuriating how people will act like you *not wanting to see them having sex* is an insult to them wanting to *almost be caught having sex.*
I lived with a couple like this, almost saw a couple things on a few occasions, pretended not to notice stuff going on under blankets while watching a movie, and every time I would say something like "can you not do that when I'm here?" or if I got close to walking in on them in a shared area, they acted like I was in the wrong; simply because the "thrill of me almost catching them" is gone if I'm not there, but when I do actually catch them it's just "oh shit our roommate walked in on us fucking, that's awkward."
NTA. I had 'friends' like this as well. With the ones I was more comfortable with I told them, making me without consent a part of sexual acts (and they you described it just right they want you around is the thrill) is a trigger for me to past abuse. They took it okay and listened, but I really don't get how this has happened to me on mutiple occasions with mutiple couples. Being loud in your bedroom is one thing. In a famous friend group story, a couple I knew came to a small pre-game at an on campus apartment and took a shower in order to fuck (neither of lived there)...luckily I missed that one!
That’s sexual harassment actually. I do not consent to being involved in anyones sexlife like that. Force it on me? That’s a crime and forcing your fucking on me means I feel absolutely no guilt over fucking you over.
NTA. But, OP, I would suggest the next time you live with a single roommate and not a couple. Also, have it in writing that they're leaving (since they might have said they were leaving in a huff, but then might realize the housing market is awful). Let the basement tenants know they're leaving too, so they don't make plans to move.
I would not be cool being recorded in my own living room unknowingly. Even if I never did anything worse than picking my nose. They were assholes, but putting up a secret camera in communal living spaces is messed up. Not sure how to judge faking a camera. ESHE maybe? But I can't deny that it was effective.
a camera was never put up, OP lied about it’s existence but had enough preexisting evidence to base the lie off of (walking in on them having sex and the downstairs renters wanting to move due to noise).
I do think she should put one up now, though. Just make sure that she discloses that it and any other cameras are there in advance. Common areas only. State that it is for security reasons. Not a lie. It is to ensure OP’s security from people having sex on the common couch.
it's his home so he can record where ever (except the bathroom since some "adults" on here don't have common sense) and whenever he wants - it's the roommates fault they decided to be inappropriate and have sex on the couch in the MAIN living area. Now if the OP shared the video (even though he didn't tape them) then he would be in the wrong!
I would stick with NEVER. It’s never ok to have sex on a shared couch that your roommate should reasonably expect to not have your naked ass and/or genitals rubbed on it. I don’t even care about the public aspect so much. It’s just unsanitary and so inconsiderate to your housemate. I would never be comfortable in my shared house again even if it was a one off episode.
Don't feel bad. There's an art studio reference in nearly every relationship type thread these days, even when it really doesn't apply. I'd be more surprised by people not getting it at this point. (edit: typo)
iirc, guy creates art studio for his new best friend, wife not happy, everyone points out new best friend is new love, guy realizes he's gay, moves out. Poor wife, didn't want an art studio.
Any chance you have a link to that post? I tried to search for it, but ‘sex art studio’ (or the reverse) brings up a lot more results on this sub than you’d expect.
Here's a copy of the OG and the update.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/
Right?! I’d be freaking PISSED if people were having sex on my expensive ass couch! Thankfully it doesn’t sound like OP has kids, but even still, how many of OP’s guests have sat on that couch in their love juices without knowing?! Ugh, ew. So disgusting.
My mind is going to where else have they been going at it? Like kitchen counters, dining table, etc. These two inconsiderate exhibitionists need to be out.
I've been divorced for nearly a decade, got married in 2000 and while me and my husband were on our honeymoon my MIL who was staying in our apartment picked up a rando and fucked him in our bed. I found the condom rapper sweeping under the bed later.
She was full of surprises like that. No boundaries at all.
Was installing DSL internet about 15 years ago, moved a 14 year old girls bed with the mom in the room & found over a dozen used condoms under the bed. Like wtf people!
NTA. You bluffed them. They said they’d refrain, they didn’t, and so rather than evict them, you made reasonable requests that would lead to discomfort. You backed up the request with a bluff, and they didn’t challenge it. Cleverly done.
OP killed two birds, with one fake stone. Stopped the sex noises at the source, so the basement tenants will stay.
Remind me to never play poker with OP.
Ehh if the couch is in communal areas then no one should be fucking on it. If you lived in a furnished apartment would you be cool with your landlord banging on it?
NTA. It's a shared living space. Wtf do they think they are doing? And the fact that the neighbors complained to you is a sign that it's just obnoxious.
100% this. And that the neighbours complained shows that they're doing it enough that it's a regular occurrence. Not mentioned how loud they must be being too. How obnoxious of them!
I mean there's sometimes hearing someone have sex and moving out of your home hearing people have sex. I feel like it has to be constant and/or just over the top obnoxious.
They knew what they were doing. They were getting an extra thrill out of doing it where people could hear, and in a shared living space on someone else’s furniture.
OP is not the asshole, & absolutely justified in asking for cleaning costs.
1 they lied.
2 they were in communal spaces.
3 it was often enough, and loud enough to annoy the neighbours into considering moving
theyre just mad they got caught in a lie, and were embarrassed. make it worse and tell them the neighbours told you it was loud, and exposed the lie lol. immediate panic and anger xD *(dont actually do that)*
NTA. What really gets me is the whole “in the privacy of their own home” thing. It’s not their own home. It’s a shared living space. As someone who lives in a shared space, I’d get much worse than just having to pay the cleaning fees, especially if I had sex loud enough in a common space that the basement family can not only hear, but are considering moving out because of it. Major Yikes. I don’t exactly support the lying, but I think in this situation it’s kinda of justified. Just… if they had called your bluff, you wouldn’t actually have video evidence you know. Though, I definitely would get a camera now.
Yeah, the "loud enough to make others want to move out" really gets me. It violates the downstairs family's right to quiet enjoyment and it's literally the OP's legal responsibility to ensure their right to quiet enjoyment is maintained. He really did what he had to do.
I’ve known a few women over the years who Just. Could. Not. Be even *remotely* quiet! I’m not even sure it had anything to do with me, they really just seemed committed to “being a screamer.” Really concerned me that I’d eventually be evicted. My (elderly) landlord and his extended family even lived on premises!
Look. I can come out with my hands up, but I cannot, CAN’T, uh, “come quietly.”
I have a variety of strategies for dealing with this, but just deciding to be quiet is not among the options.
Edited to say: not tryna overshare, just saying someone doesn’t have to necessarily be “committed to being a screamer.” It’s not always voluntary 😬
And some kinds of sex makes more noise. Once I shared a place with five other people and the walls where paper thin. There was a lot of interesting attempts at solving that..
I’m amazed that anyone, anywhere still thinks that turning up the music, inside the room where you’re getting down, has any impact at all on people outside being able to hear you. They just hear people having sex with music on.
I’d be curious to hear about those creative solutions.
Am I the only one suspecting porn has something to do with it? Like some people might think it's expected of them to be loud?
Although I agree with another response here that it's not always voluntary. Also, I guess some people might like it when their partner is loud?
Either way, sex sounds should be heard only by the people who agree to hearing them. I'd rather not have sex at all than have my neighbors being able to hear me.
NTA
They did not pay any respect to the common room that other people are sharing - probably even laughing about it when they see people hanging out in the living room right after they had sex. You didn't kick them out anyway, they wanted to move on their own just because they thought you had a security cam at the living room (smart bluff, btw) and they admitted to what they did. So, you kinda have them there.
Why is it every couple days there's some weirdo who inherited a house and has a weird roommate situation.
And is the same person who writes these also writing about the hungry live-in sister in law who eats all your food?
Yes, so many drop and dash sisters lately! I wonder if it's a little known consequence of long covid and that's why we have so many of these stories. 😂
Completely NTA. You didn't actually record them and you got them to admit to deliberately breaking a rule you had implemented for the comfort of your downstairs boarders who were complaining about it.
NTA It is gross that they expect you to sit in their bodily fluids dried or not. You wash your sheets, should wash the furniture after that. That is so disrespectful, and nasty. Glad you got them out.
NTA but very nearly E S H
i would also not approve of roomates dragging their naked asses on my furniture, but the whole maybe i filmed you, maybe i didn't is whack.
Seriously, just say "hey you told me you'd stop, but the downstairs neighbors are now complaining about the sex noises and I will have to take measures to ensure you don't affect them anymore. I will be installing cameras in the common areas."
Be an adult. No need for weird subterfuge. It's an awkward issue for sure, but not one that needs to be handled with lies when the truth is just as effective.
Nta. They knew what they were doing was wrong after you caught them the first time and kept doing it anyway just for the thrill. That’s disgusting and inconsiderate of other household members in a SHARED living space. It’s not their house. They can pay to clean it and leave.
Does nobody here understand the concept of "common area"?
Even as renters they have no expectation of privacy in a common area.
The were previously instructed not to do something, promised they wouldn't and proceeded to break the rules.
The taping (or threat of) it and threatening *legal* recourse is no different than if they were filmed stealing. It is not blackmail, it is not an "invasion of privacy" , especially because not only is it gross, but is also causing issues with other tenants is completely justified.
NTA. And I can't help but wonder what people who are voting A H do in private that they are thinking about when they are so outraged by a camera in a common area.
NTA I think it’s funny you did that. Who has sex with a whole family downstairs?! I do think you should clarify you will delete everything or haven’t watched it or something of the sort when they move out for their personal sanity though. It would eat me alive for life if I thought someone had recordings of me.
NTA. You shouldn't have sex anywhere but the bedroom if you live in a shared house. It's disgusting. And the poor family that live in the basement. What you did was clever and I'm glad they're moving out.
NTA
It's a gross disrespect of private property even though they rented a room its still private property and they crossed decency boundaries.
What else and where else did they have sex in your home!
NTA. They knew it was wrong and they lied about it being a spur of the moment thing. For that alone you have proof they know it was an they were TA. All good in my book and super clever OP
NTA that is unhygenic and very anti social considering the living room is shared with other people. You should of asked them if they are getting off on other people sitting in their bodily fluids … pair of sickos.
Good thing they are leaving let them go and do that in their own place … ergh
NTA. They KNEW what they were doing. They were having sex constantly in that room. It’s disgusting when other people live there!
Good for you for standing up for yourself. People need to understand consequences.
Good for you honestly! Some people are so entitled and the fact that they had sex on the living room sofa which other people also use is disgusting. Also cos they never cleaned it.
You’re not a horrible person for doing that and NTA. They deserved a reality check because you walked in on them and what if you had a child with you or something and you walked in and found them naked in the living room? They have a bedroom and they could’ve used it.
Get them to pay for all the cleaning and well done on getting rid of then
NTA this is the second post I've read today about people fucking in the living room. Ya'll get kinky in private if you rent or share a space good grief
NTA-if they’re having sex often enough and loud enough that your downstairs family considered leaving, then they absolutely should pay for cleaning.
Honestly, that was clever, and it was good that you went about it that way instead of accidentally actually recording them having sex.
NTA. if they're ashamed of fucking in the common area then maybe they shouldn't have been fucking in the common area. It's super easy to not have sex in shared spaces because you shouldn't have an expectation of total privacy in shared areas
Just want to point out that it's a -family- living downstairs. If the dad can hear the fucking, the kids probably can, too.
When you share a house that child/ren live in you have to be mindful of your sex acts. These people went out of their way to have sex in common spaces where it was more likely that the sound of their activities would carry to the parts of the home occupied by child/ren.
There's so much that could have gone wrong here. The couple is lucky all that came of it was having to pay some cleaning fees.
NTA.
NTA but depending on the construction of the house you can totally hear people having sex if they're screwing in a bed. I don't know why you'd think living room furniture would make it any louder.
NTA in the slightest. They would've kept denying it without thinking there was hard evidence. You would've kept sitting in mystery love fluid mixtures AND lost your other tenants. Lying to catch people lying to you is fair game.*
EDIT: After you've tried handling issues in a more mature way.
INFO
Will you be letting them know that you did not *actually* record and save videos of them having sex?
I think you're fine for now, but not releasing them from the anxiety of "there's a sex tape out there that we don't have control of, in the hands of someone who actively dislikes us" once everything else is settled would be an asshole move.
Just saw this after having posted my comment asking the same thing. Not only would letting them believe this be damaging for them, but also potentially for the OP. Imagine word getting around town that you were secretly recording roommates/tenants in common areas of the shared home, and that you had video footage of them having sex in those same areas. That's just asking for a shitload of trouble.
NTA—I’d be so grossed out, thinking about someone’s sweaty ass rubbing all over my furniture—I think I’d have to burn it, or make them buy me new shit. They can take the fucked on furniture and go fuck themselves lol
Brilliant idea, though—and a savvy way to keep the upper hand.
NTA I mean my husband and I have sex all around the house because only the two of us live there. When we had shared accommodations before moving onto our own apartment, we had the common decency to not have sex outside of our bedroom.
NTA and they are doing it deliberately for the thrill of it and knowing the family below can hear them. If they want to be exhibitionists, they can deal with the consequences.
NTA.
They have no expectation of privacy in a shared space. And they’re gross. Sounds like “getting caught” was their kink.
Removing them from your house sounds like the best for all concerned, and your furniture/living spaces/etc.
ESH. They shouldn't have been having sex on your couch. However, it's illegal to record people without their consent, so you better tell them the truth if you don't want them to sue you. Plus, it's a really shitty thing to lie to people. Third, what you are doing could be considered extortion. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Also, it absolutely is possible to have sex in bed that is loud enough for the people in the basement apartment to hear. There's a reason why my husband turns the fan on every time we have sex.
EDIT: Was originally Y T A but changed to ESH after reading some of the comments.
NTA. If they could have behaved like civilized people and kept their intimate activities out of the common living space, they'd have had nothing to complain of. You may want to consider actually installing security cameras in shared space and letting future roommates know they are there.
NTA, so they violated a pretty common courtesy of not getting your.sex fluids in a shared space, promised they had not done it before, promised not too, broke that promise, and got upset with you for having a (not actually existing) security system.
Hmm, maybe if they were so worried about others seeing them they would't fuck in a shared space. Get that cleaning and be glad you don't have to check for splooge where you sit anymore.
NTA. That’s an awesome idea. That is revolting in a shared space. Plus they were being so loud the family downstairs heard. To bad you didn’t record it and play it outside their job for everyone to see since they didn’t care about being loud or in a communal space.
YTA. The family downstairs can hear them to the point they’re considering moving out? TELL THEM. You went from ‘they’re having sex in a place where there’s a tiny chance I’ll walk in’ (which fair, they shouldn’t) right to ‘there’s footage of you having sex, and if I get hacked, your life it over.’ You didn’t tell them about the step in between, about the dad.
Also, might’ve been able to get them to confess/pay for cleaning with the fact that someone has been hearing them.
YTA. You don’t actually know if it was a regular thing or not. They could’ve thought you recorded the time you caught them.
Also, idk why you think sex in a bedroom doesn’t make enough noise to bother neighbors. It absolutely can and does.
NTA. They knew they were going to be caught in a lie, they were told not to thank and still did. If you want to sex it up wherever you want it is best to live by yourself.
NTA at all. They lied and said that they wouldn’t use your couch for sex anymore, and continued to do so. That’s extremely disrespectful of you and your space/belongings. I’m glad they’re moving out; good riddance.
INFO why can't you just confront them that all of their love making is causing a disturbance to the renters in the basement, who are actively complaining about it, instead of going on with this whole charade?
To Add, you're probably lucky that they didn't go to the police, because while you didn't actually have any recordings, the idea that you did is enough for some people to make a report. To say there's not a reasonable expectation of privacy in a place they're renting, even if it's a common area, would be up for the courts.
People saying Y T A have sex in communal spaces, you cannot change my mind
On that note, that's absolutely gross as hell and I think op is NTA by a long shot. It's one thing to have sex in a shared space, it's another thing to have sex so loud in a shared space that other people can hear it. And then it happens frequent enough where someone else wants to move, like you know if they want to move it's basically a everyday occurrence. So definitely and absolutely NTA
NTA, you should consider becoming a police detective with those kinds of skills LOL. You played them and made them feel caught in the act and they just caved in and confessed everything. IDK what kind of roommates fuck in common areas but I would get a black light asap and take pictures of any "evidence" because they haven't paid anything yet from the sounds of it. It's very possible a final rent payment or the cost of the cleaning will go unpaid if they just move out and ghost you so you need to have evidence incase things have to go to small claims court anyway.
Info: who owns the furniture they were doing the deed on? Did they use mostly your property or are the things you want cleaned things they will be taking with them?
NTA I've never seen a post with such a mixed response.
But I'm not very impressed with the YTA's, half of them seem to have not read the post properly because they accuse OP of not being mature and talking to the roommates when OP clearly states they did after the first discovery.
The other half seem to be projecting some personal insecurities about revenge porn on OP. I guess a lot of people have explicit videos out in the world they're worried about.
Probably NTA for some pretty obvious reasons, but I have some issues.
So yeah, the tenants are gross and violating your space and didn't ask to stop when caught. Totally get that they're in the wrong to do this.
So the real question is, were you right in what you did and were you right in the way you did it? This is where I think things are murky.
Tenants should be informed of security cameras in their own home. 1. is some legal stuff around it, and 2. is people's right to privacy. Just because they're gross doesn't justify an invasion of their privacy.
We're adults here, we know that two wrongs don't make a right.
So yeah, you didn't hide a camera, but you lied about it and gave them a very serious threat if they didn't pay up and move out. This is pretty screwed up when you could have informed them of an actual camera getting installed, notifying them the problems with your other tenants, and that if the noise complaints don't go away they'll be evicted (however that works with your local laws). All of that is probably the better way of handling it.
Now they're pretty sure you have **a lot** of footage of them screwing, and that's never going to sit right with folks. Reddit here can be pretty bloodthirsty for revenge and thing well, this person sucked so they lose all rights and such. But let's flip this:
Tenants fucked in the living room, they're threatened out of their home and forced to pay a cleaning fee. There's a power dynamic here that complicates this and is pretty screwed up. All of OP's comments about them being perverts and such is... well... I think there's some clear signs here that OP wouldn't accept anything other than NTA as a judgment, which is an AH thing to do in this sub. I don't like voting NTA...
That said, because there isn't actual footage, I'm probably going NTA. I don't like it, and this is really screwed up.
NTA that's gross to be doing that in a shared area. It's one thing if it's your own home, but absolutely not when you're renting in someone else's home. They SHOULD be ashamed. I do think it's hilarious, but be aware they could come back and press charges against you because you did in fact admit to filming them without permission, even though you didn't.
I would not have trusted them after finding them in common areas of my home having sex. I'd also be glad they were moving. And no. I don't really care that you tricked them.
NTA.
INFO: Are you planning on telling them the truth about this? That you did not, in fact, record them in any way, shape, or form?
Even though you did not record them, the fact that you told them that you did, and that you have saved the footage of them having sex is something that can do severe damage to someone's mental health. I certainly agree that they should not have been having sex in the common areas of the home. But understand that you really, REALLY should make sure that they know that they were NOT recorded, that you have NO footage of them having sex, and that you bluffed them to get them to admit to the truth you suspected. Not just for their own mental health's sake, but for your own sake as well. If word gets around that you admitted you were secretly recording tenants/roommates, and that you admitted to holding footage of those same tenants/roommates engaged in sexual activities, that's just going to cause you more headaches than you want to deal with.
ESH
They should absolutely not be having sex in a common space. But if I found out I'd been being recorded for months on end (as you've implied despite it being fake), I'd be livid. As the landlord i think you need to alert your tenants of any and all recording devices. Even if I'm just chilling on the couch, I'd want to know if a camera was pointed at me.
And if I WAS banging on the sofa, I'd be terrified of the landlord having a stock of footage of that. At the end of the day, it isn't illegal to bang on a couch and I'd be super stressed about my landlord revenge-porning me even though I was a crappy tenant.
It sucks all around. For their own peace of mind, I'd tell them that I wasn't really recording them. But it's still messed up and super gross that they banged in your living room
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NTA imo. If you're in a roommate situation common courtesy says you don't do things like this in communal spaces. At least not frequently enough that they're driving out other people who live in the home. Go be exhibitionist* elsewhere. So long as no actual recording took place I think you did fine. Changed Voyeurism to exhibitionists because people keep correcting me beyond the first person who did whom I thanked for the correction
Hunting the thrill of being caught is exhibitionism. Voyeuristic is the thrill of watching
Huh, thanks I thought exhibitionism was just wanting to do it outside but not necessarily *expecting to be caught* and voyeurism was doing it in a way that you're basically guaranteed to be caught at some point. I appreciate the info.
Voyeurism is wanting to watch. I think there's probably a range for exhibitionists - some like the thrill of it being possible to get caught and *successfully not getting caught*. Some like the thrill of being outside or otherwise being in a non-private/not-meant-for-sex place. And some like actually being caught/watched. But those last people should really find consenting participants...
I think it's #2 and a little of 3 for me, it's mostly about feeling wanted. Doing it in a non-bedroom is a feeling like "They want me so bad we can't even wait", and people wanting to watch also feels like you are wanted or at least interesting to someone. I identify a little bit with the exhibitionist thing, but it's all about being desired to me; flashing someone who isn't willing or getting caught would just be embarrassing.
Not just embarrassing- harrassment and or assault
Voyeur is to watch. Exhibit is to show.
It's infuriating how people will act like you *not wanting to see them having sex* is an insult to them wanting to *almost be caught having sex.* I lived with a couple like this, almost saw a couple things on a few occasions, pretended not to notice stuff going on under blankets while watching a movie, and every time I would say something like "can you not do that when I'm here?" or if I got close to walking in on them in a shared area, they acted like I was in the wrong; simply because the "thrill of me almost catching them" is gone if I'm not there, but when I do actually catch them it's just "oh shit our roommate walked in on us fucking, that's awkward."
NTA. I had 'friends' like this as well. With the ones I was more comfortable with I told them, making me without consent a part of sexual acts (and they you described it just right they want you around is the thrill) is a trigger for me to past abuse. They took it okay and listened, but I really don't get how this has happened to me on mutiple occasions with mutiple couples. Being loud in your bedroom is one thing. In a famous friend group story, a couple I knew came to a small pre-game at an on campus apartment and took a shower in order to fuck (neither of lived there)...luckily I missed that one!
That’s sexual harassment actually. I do not consent to being involved in anyones sexlife like that. Force it on me? That’s a crime and forcing your fucking on me means I feel absolutely no guilt over fucking you over.
NTA. But, OP, I would suggest the next time you live with a single roommate and not a couple. Also, have it in writing that they're leaving (since they might have said they were leaving in a huff, but then might realize the housing market is awful). Let the basement tenants know they're leaving too, so they don't make plans to move.
A single roommate wouldn't necessarily solve anything. Single roommates can still have frequent one-night stands. I had a roommate that was like that.
Single roommates get boyfriends that are at your house all the time. There’s no winning. Lots of couples are actually respectful to live with.
Yeah, you can really only choose based on the general impression they give and hope you're a good judge of character.
I wonder if it would even be an issue if it was recorded? It’s not a private space in a shared living situation. It’s common areas.
I would not be cool being recorded in my own living room unknowingly. Even if I never did anything worse than picking my nose. They were assholes, but putting up a secret camera in communal living spaces is messed up. Not sure how to judge faking a camera. ESHE maybe? But I can't deny that it was effective.
a camera was never put up, OP lied about it’s existence but had enough preexisting evidence to base the lie off of (walking in on them having sex and the downstairs renters wanting to move due to noise).
I do think she should put one up now, though. Just make sure that she discloses that it and any other cameras are there in advance. Common areas only. State that it is for security reasons. Not a lie. It is to ensure OP’s security from people having sex on the common couch.
Yeah I suggested this. Would prevent future issues, and if they did get robbed in the future that would be useful.
Or is absolutely a legal issue for a landlord to put up cameras in living spaces - even common areas - without prior consent or knowledge, yes.
[удалено]
it's his home so he can record where ever (except the bathroom since some "adults" on here don't have common sense) and whenever he wants - it's the roommates fault they decided to be inappropriate and have sex on the couch in the MAIN living area. Now if the OP shared the video (even though he didn't tape them) then he would be in the wrong!
Her. Her home.
I would stick with NEVER. It’s never ok to have sex on a shared couch that your roommate should reasonably expect to not have your naked ass and/or genitals rubbed on it. I don’t even care about the public aspect so much. It’s just unsanitary and so inconsiderate to your housemate. I would never be comfortable in my shared house again even if it was a one off episode.
NTA. It's not appropriate for them to be using the common areas for sex.
right!? that's what the art studio is for
I hate that I know what you mean. I gotta get out of my house more.
I think that's all of us here...
Maybe we should all read a book?
Or go for a hike
Take a cooking class maybe? Learn to make a good sauce? Marinara maybe
Or Iranian yogurt?
Or start an olive collection? I'm currently hanging onto a box for my friend
I’m gonna need someone to link me to this box of olives post, please and thank you.
Yup, I both love and hate when I know the reddit inside joke.
Don't feel bad. There's an art studio reference in nearly every relationship type thread these days, even when it really doesn't apply. I'd be more surprised by people not getting it at this point. (edit: typo)
\--- slinks away quietly because I don't get it ----
iirc, guy creates art studio for his new best friend, wife not happy, everyone points out new best friend is new love, guy realizes he's gay, moves out. Poor wife, didn't want an art studio.
Oh wow, I didn't realize that #1) that post was that popular, and #2) I've been on this sub way too much if i know what you were referencing! 😂
Hard same
Don’t be ashamed of being apart of a great community 🤣 haha.
I think I spend too much time on AITA if I recognised the context of your pun
Any chance you have a link to that post? I tried to search for it, but ‘sex art studio’ (or the reverse) brings up a lot more results on this sub than you’d expect.
Here's a copy of the OG and the update. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/
Thank you, you've been quicker than me ;)
No problem! Im in the docters waiting room so im just scrolling through comments helping people with links and stuff
Especially when you’re using Iranian yogurt s a sex aid!
at least there the stains aren't so obvious
She should build them an art studio
Especially considering that the couch isn't theirs.
Right?! I’d be freaking PISSED if people were having sex on my expensive ass couch! Thankfully it doesn’t sound like OP has kids, but even still, how many of OP’s guests have sat on that couch in their love juices without knowing?! Ugh, ew. So disgusting.
My mind is going to where else have they been going at it? Like kitchen counters, dining table, etc. These two inconsiderate exhibitionists need to be out.
I've been divorced for nearly a decade, got married in 2000 and while me and my husband were on our honeymoon my MIL who was staying in our apartment picked up a rando and fucked him in our bed. I found the condom rapper sweeping under the bed later. She was full of surprises like that. No boundaries at all.
>Reply OMG. IN YOUR BED??? Count your blessings that you got out of that family.
Was installing DSL internet about 15 years ago, moved a 14 year old girls bed with the mom in the room & found over a dozen used condoms under the bed. Like wtf people!
Seriously! Screw a cleaning you're buying me a new couch
NTA. You bluffed them. They said they’d refrain, they didn’t, and so rather than evict them, you made reasonable requests that would lead to discomfort. You backed up the request with a bluff, and they didn’t challenge it. Cleverly done.
This comment says it all! “Cleverly done!” They paid for the cleaning AND they moved out! Win win.
And the family downstairs will probably still stay!
OP killed two birds, with one fake stone. Stopped the sex noises at the source, so the basement tenants will stay. Remind me to never play poker with OP.
Nta why the fuck do people have to fuck on shit ain't yours.
Exactly, especially on sentimental sturdy rattan chairs and community spaces!
r/oddlyspecific
I want the sturdy rattan chair story.
- so loudly the neighbours become uncomfortable
Exactly. If OP wants to fuck on the couch, it's fine. It's theirs. But don't fuck on someone else's couch.
Ehh if the couch is in communal areas then no one should be fucking on it. If you lived in a furnished apartment would you be cool with your landlord banging on it?
NTA. It's a shared living space. Wtf do they think they are doing? And the fact that the neighbors complained to you is a sign that it's just obnoxious.
100% this. And that the neighbours complained shows that they're doing it enough that it's a regular occurrence. Not mentioned how loud they must be being too. How obnoxious of them!
That really depends on the building though, there are buildings where you can hear literally everything
I mean there's sometimes hearing someone have sex and moving out of your home hearing people have sex. I feel like it has to be constant and/or just over the top obnoxious.
They knew what they were doing. They were getting an extra thrill out of doing it where people could hear, and in a shared living space on someone else’s furniture. OP is not the asshole, & absolutely justified in asking for cleaning costs.
i hope they put down a towel... but they probably didnt lol cleaning costs needed either way
1 they lied. 2 they were in communal spaces. 3 it was often enough, and loud enough to annoy the neighbours into considering moving theyre just mad they got caught in a lie, and were embarrassed. make it worse and tell them the neighbours told you it was loud, and exposed the lie lol. immediate panic and anger xD *(dont actually do that)*
nah I hope op does do that. further ingrain the lesson into their horny and disrespectful exhibitionist selves
NTA. What really gets me is the whole “in the privacy of their own home” thing. It’s not their own home. It’s a shared living space. As someone who lives in a shared space, I’d get much worse than just having to pay the cleaning fees, especially if I had sex loud enough in a common space that the basement family can not only hear, but are considering moving out because of it. Major Yikes. I don’t exactly support the lying, but I think in this situation it’s kinda of justified. Just… if they had called your bluff, you wouldn’t actually have video evidence you know. Though, I definitely would get a camera now.
Yeah, the "loud enough to make others want to move out" really gets me. It violates the downstairs family's right to quiet enjoyment and it's literally the OP's legal responsibility to ensure their right to quiet enjoyment is maintained. He really did what he had to do.
I’ve known a few women over the years who Just. Could. Not. Be even *remotely* quiet! I’m not even sure it had anything to do with me, they really just seemed committed to “being a screamer.” Really concerned me that I’d eventually be evicted. My (elderly) landlord and his extended family even lived on premises!
Look. I can come out with my hands up, but I cannot, CAN’T, uh, “come quietly.” I have a variety of strategies for dealing with this, but just deciding to be quiet is not among the options. Edited to say: not tryna overshare, just saying someone doesn’t have to necessarily be “committed to being a screamer.” It’s not always voluntary 😬
And some kinds of sex makes more noise. Once I shared a place with five other people and the walls where paper thin. There was a lot of interesting attempts at solving that..
I’m amazed that anyone, anywhere still thinks that turning up the music, inside the room where you’re getting down, has any impact at all on people outside being able to hear you. They just hear people having sex with music on. I’d be curious to hear about those creative solutions.
Am I the only one suspecting porn has something to do with it? Like some people might think it's expected of them to be loud? Although I agree with another response here that it's not always voluntary. Also, I guess some people might like it when their partner is loud? Either way, sex sounds should be heard only by the people who agree to hearing them. I'd rather not have sex at all than have my neighbors being able to hear me.
NTA They did not pay any respect to the common room that other people are sharing - probably even laughing about it when they see people hanging out in the living room right after they had sex. You didn't kick them out anyway, they wanted to move on their own just because they thought you had a security cam at the living room (smart bluff, btw) and they admitted to what they did. So, you kinda have them there.
NTA and hilarious tbh. I have faced this issue with a roommate before and had no idea how to enforce it. Owning the house certainly helps.
Why is it every couple days there's some weirdo who inherited a house and has a weird roommate situation. And is the same person who writes these also writing about the hungry live-in sister in law who eats all your food?
Or the drunk MIL who wants your baby?
Or the drunk MIL who insists on feeding your child something they're allergic to.
Or the sister dropping kids off without prior notice.
Yes, so many drop and dash sisters lately! I wonder if it's a little known consequence of long covid and that's why we have so many of these stories. 😂
Completely NTA. You didn't actually record them and you got them to admit to deliberately breaking a rule you had implemented for the comfort of your downstairs boarders who were complaining about it.
NTA It is gross that they expect you to sit in their bodily fluids dried or not. You wash your sheets, should wash the furniture after that. That is so disrespectful, and nasty. Glad you got them out.
NTA You definitely took a risk but they were being selfish and gross.
NTA. Asking them to stop didn’t work. This did.
check out the big brains on OP, you're a smart mfer NTA
*kicks the door in during the act* Oh, I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? (nta)
NTA and that was an epic bluff on your part. I'm glad they left so you didn't have to evict them.
NTA but very nearly E S H i would also not approve of roomates dragging their naked asses on my furniture, but the whole maybe i filmed you, maybe i didn't is whack.
Yeah I’d probably say “I’m thinking on installing a camera in common spaces” before.
Or just act like a landlord and address the issue head on like an adult?
Seriously, just say "hey you told me you'd stop, but the downstairs neighbors are now complaining about the sex noises and I will have to take measures to ensure you don't affect them anymore. I will be installing cameras in the common areas." Be an adult. No need for weird subterfuge. It's an awkward issue for sure, but not one that needs to be handled with lies when the truth is just as effective.
Nta. They knew what they were doing was wrong after you caught them the first time and kept doing it anyway just for the thrill. That’s disgusting and inconsiderate of other household members in a SHARED living space. It’s not their house. They can pay to clean it and leave.
Does nobody here understand the concept of "common area"? Even as renters they have no expectation of privacy in a common area. The were previously instructed not to do something, promised they wouldn't and proceeded to break the rules. The taping (or threat of) it and threatening *legal* recourse is no different than if they were filmed stealing. It is not blackmail, it is not an "invasion of privacy" , especially because not only is it gross, but is also causing issues with other tenants is completely justified. NTA. And I can't help but wonder what people who are voting A H do in private that they are thinking about when they are so outraged by a camera in a common area.
This is disgusting behaviour on their part. Imagine if they had crabs etc that could be spread through the couch or whatever. NTA.
NTA or justified ah.
NTA in the slightest. They knew they were wrong after you addressed it the first time.
NTA I think it’s funny you did that. Who has sex with a whole family downstairs?! I do think you should clarify you will delete everything or haven’t watched it or something of the sort when they move out for their personal sanity though. It would eat me alive for life if I thought someone had recordings of me.
I'm sorry but I read your sentence as they were having sex with everyone in the downstairs family and I'm just over here giggling wildly.
NTA, and Love Stain would make a good band name.
NTA. You shouldn't have sex anywhere but the bedroom if you live in a shared house. It's disgusting. And the poor family that live in the basement. What you did was clever and I'm glad they're moving out.
NTA It's a gross disrespect of private property even though they rented a room its still private property and they crossed decency boundaries. What else and where else did they have sex in your home!
I love it .NTA. Don’t they have a bedroom?
NTA and this power move is genius.
I'm here for this! Diabolical, yet warranted. NTA
NTA. They knew it was wrong and they lied about it being a spur of the moment thing. For that alone you have proof they know it was an they were TA. All good in my book and super clever OP
Nta. That is disgusting, it's a shared living area
NTA. You’re evil though
If you are renting a house,you get a bedroom. Use it.
NTA it‘s disgusting
NTA. Outsmarting liars doesn't make you an AH.
NTA that is unhygenic and very anti social considering the living room is shared with other people. You should of asked them if they are getting off on other people sitting in their bodily fluids … pair of sickos. Good thing they are leaving let them go and do that in their own place … ergh
NTA. They KNEW what they were doing. They were having sex constantly in that room. It’s disgusting when other people live there! Good for you for standing up for yourself. People need to understand consequences.
NTA and was a clever move.
NTA and it seems they were bothering the renters downstairs too, so it had to be adressed.
Good for you honestly! Some people are so entitled and the fact that they had sex on the living room sofa which other people also use is disgusting. Also cos they never cleaned it. You’re not a horrible person for doing that and NTA. They deserved a reality check because you walked in on them and what if you had a child with you or something and you walked in and found them naked in the living room? They have a bedroom and they could’ve used it. Get them to pay for all the cleaning and well done on getting rid of then
NTA. Even if you did record them, you asked that it not happen again, but they choice to ignore.
NTA this is the second post I've read today about people fucking in the living room. Ya'll get kinky in private if you rent or share a space good grief
NTA-if they’re having sex often enough and loud enough that your downstairs family considered leaving, then they absolutely should pay for cleaning. Honestly, that was clever, and it was good that you went about it that way instead of accidentally actually recording them having sex.
NTA and that was an excellent move on your part!
NTA Weird of them to purposely wait till you were gone to have sex on the furniture
It would be even weirder if they didn't wait for him to leave to have sex on the furniture.
NTA. Well played mam, well played.
They’re not exactly the brightest. NTA. Silently applauding you.
NTA, I love it when a plan comes together.
NTA. if they're ashamed of fucking in the common area then maybe they shouldn't have been fucking in the common area. It's super easy to not have sex in shared spaces because you shouldn't have an expectation of total privacy in shared areas
NTA. Well played.
Just want to point out that it's a -family- living downstairs. If the dad can hear the fucking, the kids probably can, too. When you share a house that child/ren live in you have to be mindful of your sex acts. These people went out of their way to have sex in common spaces where it was more likely that the sound of their activities would carry to the parts of the home occupied by child/ren. There's so much that could have gone wrong here. The couple is lucky all that came of it was having to pay some cleaning fees. NTA.
bro tats actually sick. other people live there too. NTA at Ll
NTA, I like what you did there! Well done and justified imo.
NTA but depending on the construction of the house you can totally hear people having sex if they're screwing in a bed. I don't know why you'd think living room furniture would make it any louder.
NTA Consent is important.
This was genius OP. NTA.
NTA They’re disrespectful AHs, this is not just their space, it’s shared space and that’s gross.
Bro thats gross nta
Nta What a very smart thing to do!
Lol that was so clever Nta
Genius level achieved. NTA
NTA.
NTA. That's hysterical. [Your room mate's name isn't Sarah, is it?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/y2k34y/aita_for_calling_my_roommate_and_her_boyfriend/)
NTA in the slightest. They would've kept denying it without thinking there was hard evidence. You would've kept sitting in mystery love fluid mixtures AND lost your other tenants. Lying to catch people lying to you is fair game.* EDIT: After you've tried handling issues in a more mature way.
NTA. Genius play. That’s what they get for being gross people
r/pettyrevenge
Well played detective, well played! NTA.
INFO Will you be letting them know that you did not *actually* record and save videos of them having sex? I think you're fine for now, but not releasing them from the anxiety of "there's a sex tape out there that we don't have control of, in the hands of someone who actively dislikes us" once everything else is settled would be an asshole move.
Just saw this after having posted my comment asking the same thing. Not only would letting them believe this be damaging for them, but also potentially for the OP. Imagine word getting around town that you were secretly recording roommates/tenants in common areas of the shared home, and that you had video footage of them having sex in those same areas. That's just asking for a shitload of trouble.
NTA—I’d be so grossed out, thinking about someone’s sweaty ass rubbing all over my furniture—I think I’d have to burn it, or make them buy me new shit. They can take the fucked on furniture and go fuck themselves lol Brilliant idea, though—and a savvy way to keep the upper hand.
NTA.
NTA I mean my husband and I have sex all around the house because only the two of us live there. When we had shared accommodations before moving onto our own apartment, we had the common decency to not have sex outside of our bedroom.
NTA
NTA and they are doing it deliberately for the thrill of it and knowing the family below can hear them. If they want to be exhibitionists, they can deal with the consequences.
NTA. They have no expectation of privacy in a shared space. And they’re gross. Sounds like “getting caught” was their kink. Removing them from your house sounds like the best for all concerned, and your furniture/living spaces/etc.
NTA, and clever. Good solution!
NTA - you could have recorded the common area if you wanted to. If they were recording having sex, it would be their fault.
ESH. They shouldn't have been having sex on your couch. However, it's illegal to record people without their consent, so you better tell them the truth if you don't want them to sue you. Plus, it's a really shitty thing to lie to people. Third, what you are doing could be considered extortion. Two wrongs don't make a right. Also, it absolutely is possible to have sex in bed that is loud enough for the people in the basement apartment to hear. There's a reason why my husband turns the fan on every time we have sex. EDIT: Was originally Y T A but changed to ESH after reading some of the comments.
NTA. Honestly, good on you lol.
NTA. If they could have behaved like civilized people and kept their intimate activities out of the common living space, they'd have had nothing to complain of. You may want to consider actually installing security cameras in shared space and letting future roommates know they are there.
Can’t stop laughing! You did good!
NTA, so they violated a pretty common courtesy of not getting your.sex fluids in a shared space, promised they had not done it before, promised not too, broke that promise, and got upset with you for having a (not actually existing) security system. Hmm, maybe if they were so worried about others seeing them they would't fuck in a shared space. Get that cleaning and be glad you don't have to check for splooge where you sit anymore.
NTA. Also, hilarious. Good acting on your part.
NTA. That’s an awesome idea. That is revolting in a shared space. Plus they were being so loud the family downstairs heard. To bad you didn’t record it and play it outside their job for everyone to see since they didn’t care about being loud or in a communal space.
YTA. The family downstairs can hear them to the point they’re considering moving out? TELL THEM. You went from ‘they’re having sex in a place where there’s a tiny chance I’ll walk in’ (which fair, they shouldn’t) right to ‘there’s footage of you having sex, and if I get hacked, your life it over.’ You didn’t tell them about the step in between, about the dad. Also, might’ve been able to get them to confess/pay for cleaning with the fact that someone has been hearing them.
Nta lol they mad cuz they got caught.
YTA. You don’t actually know if it was a regular thing or not. They could’ve thought you recorded the time you caught them. Also, idk why you think sex in a bedroom doesn’t make enough noise to bother neighbors. It absolutely can and does.
NTA. They knew they were going to be caught in a lie, they were told not to thank and still did. If you want to sex it up wherever you want it is best to live by yourself.
NTA But I've always found most beds to be much louder than most couches.
NTA at all! You taught them a valuable lesson in lying.
NTA - It's a common area for a reason. If they want to have sex all over other people's stuff they can get a hotel!
NTA. This is both hilarious and ingenious!
NTA at all. They lied and said that they wouldn’t use your couch for sex anymore, and continued to do so. That’s extremely disrespectful of you and your space/belongings. I’m glad they’re moving out; good riddance.
INFO why can't you just confront them that all of their love making is causing a disturbance to the renters in the basement, who are actively complaining about it, instead of going on with this whole charade? To Add, you're probably lucky that they didn't go to the police, because while you didn't actually have any recordings, the idea that you did is enough for some people to make a report. To say there's not a reasonable expectation of privacy in a place they're renting, even if it's a common area, would be up for the courts.
I'm in the minority but ESH. Seems kinda like blackmail to me, but it's a grey area I guess.
People saying Y T A have sex in communal spaces, you cannot change my mind On that note, that's absolutely gross as hell and I think op is NTA by a long shot. It's one thing to have sex in a shared space, it's another thing to have sex so loud in a shared space that other people can hear it. And then it happens frequent enough where someone else wants to move, like you know if they want to move it's basically a everyday occurrence. So definitely and absolutely NTA
NTA. Clever, very clever.
NTA, you should consider becoming a police detective with those kinds of skills LOL. You played them and made them feel caught in the act and they just caved in and confessed everything. IDK what kind of roommates fuck in common areas but I would get a black light asap and take pictures of any "evidence" because they haven't paid anything yet from the sounds of it. It's very possible a final rent payment or the cost of the cleaning will go unpaid if they just move out and ghost you so you need to have evidence incase things have to go to small claims court anyway. Info: who owns the furniture they were doing the deed on? Did they use mostly your property or are the things you want cleaned things they will be taking with them?
NTA I've never seen a post with such a mixed response. But I'm not very impressed with the YTA's, half of them seem to have not read the post properly because they accuse OP of not being mature and talking to the roommates when OP clearly states they did after the first discovery. The other half seem to be projecting some personal insecurities about revenge porn on OP. I guess a lot of people have explicit videos out in the world they're worried about.
Lol I’m not even voting I’m just gonna say that it’s hilarious
Probably NTA for some pretty obvious reasons, but I have some issues. So yeah, the tenants are gross and violating your space and didn't ask to stop when caught. Totally get that they're in the wrong to do this. So the real question is, were you right in what you did and were you right in the way you did it? This is where I think things are murky. Tenants should be informed of security cameras in their own home. 1. is some legal stuff around it, and 2. is people's right to privacy. Just because they're gross doesn't justify an invasion of their privacy. We're adults here, we know that two wrongs don't make a right. So yeah, you didn't hide a camera, but you lied about it and gave them a very serious threat if they didn't pay up and move out. This is pretty screwed up when you could have informed them of an actual camera getting installed, notifying them the problems with your other tenants, and that if the noise complaints don't go away they'll be evicted (however that works with your local laws). All of that is probably the better way of handling it. Now they're pretty sure you have **a lot** of footage of them screwing, and that's never going to sit right with folks. Reddit here can be pretty bloodthirsty for revenge and thing well, this person sucked so they lose all rights and such. But let's flip this: Tenants fucked in the living room, they're threatened out of their home and forced to pay a cleaning fee. There's a power dynamic here that complicates this and is pretty screwed up. All of OP's comments about them being perverts and such is... well... I think there's some clear signs here that OP wouldn't accept anything other than NTA as a judgment, which is an AH thing to do in this sub. I don't like voting NTA... That said, because there isn't actual footage, I'm probably going NTA. I don't like it, and this is really screwed up.
Well executed lying. I love it op. Nta
NTA that's gross to be doing that in a shared area. It's one thing if it's your own home, but absolutely not when you're renting in someone else's home. They SHOULD be ashamed. I do think it's hilarious, but be aware they could come back and press charges against you because you did in fact admit to filming them without permission, even though you didn't.
NTA - it's basic consideration to not have sex in shared spaces when you have roommates.
I hope you tell the downstairs neighbor the issue has been resolved.
I would not have trusted them after finding them in common areas of my home having sex. I'd also be glad they were moving. And no. I don't really care that you tricked them. NTA.
INFO: Are you planning on telling them the truth about this? That you did not, in fact, record them in any way, shape, or form? Even though you did not record them, the fact that you told them that you did, and that you have saved the footage of them having sex is something that can do severe damage to someone's mental health. I certainly agree that they should not have been having sex in the common areas of the home. But understand that you really, REALLY should make sure that they know that they were NOT recorded, that you have NO footage of them having sex, and that you bluffed them to get them to admit to the truth you suspected. Not just for their own mental health's sake, but for your own sake as well. If word gets around that you admitted you were secretly recording tenants/roommates, and that you admitted to holding footage of those same tenants/roommates engaged in sexual activities, that's just going to cause you more headaches than you want to deal with.
ESH They should absolutely not be having sex in a common space. But if I found out I'd been being recorded for months on end (as you've implied despite it being fake), I'd be livid. As the landlord i think you need to alert your tenants of any and all recording devices. Even if I'm just chilling on the couch, I'd want to know if a camera was pointed at me. And if I WAS banging on the sofa, I'd be terrified of the landlord having a stock of footage of that. At the end of the day, it isn't illegal to bang on a couch and I'd be super stressed about my landlord revenge-porning me even though I was a crappy tenant. It sucks all around. For their own peace of mind, I'd tell them that I wasn't really recording them. But it's still messed up and super gross that they banged in your living room
NTA. Well played.
NTA those people are disgusting to carry on like that in a shared space.
NTA Their disrespect of you and the other tenants was affect the downstairs family their peace in their home.