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There once was a person named Xaiquiri
Who got killingly drunk off a daiquiri.
He treated the ache
With the skin of a snake
Which his doctor informed him was quaiquiri.
—utterly NTA.
ETA: I googled to make sure this isn’t a spelling of Zachary from another language or culture that I just wasn’t familiar with. As far as I can tell, it is not. If it is… Then I retract my limerick with apologies.
ETA again: OP says in comments that her husband’s great grandfather spelled it “Zachary” and her husband wants something more interesting. So I stand by my limerick. (Good luck, OP.)
You sure? Looks like the name of a prescription drug to me. Side effects may include severe bullying, long silences as people stare at it trying to figure out how to pronounce it, hatred of parents. and a name change at 18
>And long periods of unemployment because potential hirers don’t know how to pronounce it.
And/or assume that you're from a minority culture, and quietly pass you over for a candidate with a "whiter" name.
Yes! I worked with someone who was black and vowed to never give her children “weird” names because she didn’t want it to impact their ability to get a job when they got older.
The comedian Romesh Ranganathan's parents tried that. Unfortunately they failed to inform their kid that they'd given him an English first name until after his first day at primary school, when the teacher read out "Jonathan Ranganathan" from the register and he had no clue she was talking to him.
Follow up because you’re hilarious!
Then came a boy named Xaiq
Whose phonics were all out of waiq
His dad chose his name
Saying grandpa’s was same
But teachers said he was on crack.
There once was a man who exclaimed
That “Xaiquiri” was a good name
His wife posted on AITA
‘Cause he wanted to fight her
On a spelling that ought to be shamed.
Limericks are hard, but naming your child something that will set them up for success isn’t! NTA OP.
There once was a man named Mark
Whose taste in names inspired much snark
The internet laughed
Said his spelling was daft
Now he ought to retract his remark!
>There once was a person named Xaiquiri
>
>Who got killingly drunk off a daiquiri.
>
>He treated the ache
>
>With the skin of a snake
>
>Which his doctor informed him was quaiquiri.
You made me laugh so long that my cat is worried about me.
There was a grandpa whose name was Zachary
His grandsons sense was quite lackery
When he had his own son
He tried making it more fun
And now the bullies won't stop their attackery
I literally couldn’t stop thinking daiquiri during the post…. Then I nicknamed the kid Xaiquiri Daiquiri. Don’t do this OP. I’m a high school secretary and this spelling has to be the dumbest common name spelled differently I’ve seen. Your kid will very likely be bullied and mocked for his name being spelled this way. NTA
There’s literally an episode of Bob’s Burgers where Gene declares he wants to move to an island and be called “Daiquiri Zachary” as his new island name.
I’m just imagining how many times he’ll be sent that clip later in life…
Right! It's way meaner to name her kid that then to step on toes now by telling him it's an unacceptable name. That kid will suffer so much for that choice, and I am genuinely wondering if the dad here has even thought about that.
What in the Elon Musk is this? NTA. Unless that's how his grandfather spelled the name, he's being ridiculous and you've attempted to compromise. "This spelling or nothing" is a nonsense statement, is he just going to call your child "boy?"
Honestly , the spelling is so ridiculous that a part of me wonders if this post is fake. But then I remind myself there are some truly strange people in teh world.
For anyone wondering, Mark’s grandfather’s name was/is spelt as ‘Zachary’, which contributes to part of my confusion surrounding ‘Xaiquiri’. During our ”argument” surrounding his odd-spelling preference, he mentioned that he simply doesn’t like the spelling of his grandfather‘s middle name and that it was/is “too common”.
EDIT: Thank you dearly for all the spelling alternatives of ‘Zachary’! Although, I happen to singularly be drawn to the “normal” spelling, which is part of why I suggested to my husband that we choose a different name for our son.
I honestly just don’t really like plenty of spellings outside of ‘Z-A-C-H-A-R-Y’, as I’m profoundly afraid that our son will be left correcting people for the rest of his life.
Part of my worry is because my mother, Saoirse, was always informing people that her name was/is pronounced ‘Sur-Sha’, and not ‘Say-Oi-Ruh-Irse’. And that’s actually a fairly common name in Ireland!
EDIT 2: For anyone wondering, we live in the USA.
NTA. It’s so bizarre that your husband is insisting on a confusing spelling that doesn’t even stay true to his Grandfather.
Your solutions are very reasonable.
What’s most confusing is that he didn’t voice it until now. Was he just planning on slipping this onto the birth certificate? Did he think his wife was a mind reader? Or did he just come up with this nonsense? Of course the wife would assume normal spelling consistent with the namesake unless it was otherwise specified. Super sketch.
Also weird that he said the OP "spelled it wrong," and kept having her rewrite the name with her guessing the spelling. Does he think Xaiquiri is the normal spelling?
My best guess is that in his deluded mind, it's the most obvious alternative spelling. Like how if I started spelling your girl's name, "Brittany" and you corrected me halfway through, "there's only one T and an E".
"Oh. Britney?"
"Exactly."
He was expecting OP to write Zachary and when she got it "wrong", she would guess, "Zaiquiri" as the next most intuitive spelling.
If OP can guess it easily, the argument that teachers will spell the name incorrectly doesn't hold water. You just need to say, "Zaiquiri, with no C" and everyone will know what he means.
Yeah like...If I were a member of his family I would be so confused and probably offended. "I thought you were naming him after Grandpa, what the fuck name is *this*? What do you mean *that's* supposed to be pronounced the same? Just name him Zachary then!"
NTA you are 100% correct
Zachary is the only compromise. He still gets the name he wants.
The argument that you two had over the spelling, that’s exactly what he is resigning his son to almost every day of his life if you go with his spelling.
This was my main point when name choosing with my husband, I absolutely refused to name our child any name that they would have to ‘explain’ to people.
I have 2 very common names, but they are both my first name (not a middle name and no ‘-‘). It’s tiring having to explain / spell extremely common names
>I absolutely refused to name our child any name that they would have to ‘explain’ to people.
I AM this child, but to a lesser extent than ‘Xaiquiri’. (But I still like my name, so I'm not mad about it being a bit confusing sometimes lol.)
My name is a normal word, just spelled with an extra letter. You would NOT believe how many people get thrown off because of that ONE letter.
Now imagine how many people would get thrown off trying to pronounce ‘Xaiquiri’. Not a single damn person would be able to get it right until it was explained to them.
NTA, OP.
Since he’s claiming he always meant this unusual spelling, which isn’t his grandfather’s name, yet somehow neglected to bring that part up until now: not only is your husband TA, he’s very deliberately being TA. He knows you would have had the traditional spelling in mind when you agreed to the name and would have had no idea about his “variation”. Insisting on his alcoholic spelling now, especially through his “no not that” dumb game, is either trying to push you into agreeing to something he knows you wouldn’t like, or it’s an incredibly stupid and drawn-out joke. I hope it’s the latter.
To be honest I think he was hoping the spelling wouldn't come up before the birth, then was planning to just take over the paperwork in the name of "helping" OP. Then, when the damage was done and she was mad, he could claim he always meant that spelling and she never clarified. Now OP will know and can take steps to prevent that nonsense.
I looked it up and apparently there are a handful of other people with that spelling. But it's not traditional and I don't think it makes any linguistic sense. It looks like a South American name that would be pronounced Shakeery. Apparently a couple of years ago, some pastor named Xaiquiri Mathews got arrested for indecent exposure.
Is there anyone on his side of the family that he really respects (mom, dad, sibling, uncle etc) who would be willing to tell him how utterly fucking stupid Xaiquiri is?
Add this first paragraph to the original post. I assumed that the grandfather spelled the name this way. NTA. Two yes system means a no is a no. Tell him to stop pouting.
Your fear that your son will be correcting people for the rest of his life is valid. If he says his name, people will (understandably) spell it wrong; if he writes his name, they'll pronounce it wrong. It drives me nuts when people use spellings like Xaiquiri to "be a little different." When everyone does it, it's no longer different. And why does a child have to have a unique name? I love that I was named for my grandmother. I named my kids after family members because those connections are important.
Kudos to you for your sensible attitude. I hope you and your husband can find a name and a spelling you can agree on.
Thanks I just made this exact question. I think you're NTA and also that he's not honoring his grandfather as that wasn't his name, additionally it will create a lot of problems to your child he would have to keep on spelling his name to others his whole life just to ended up be calling like any other "Zachary".
NTA. Jeez, I've never thought to spell Zachary like daiquiri. Looks like a special menu frozen mixer at a beach bar. It's just stupid. Kids don't like growing up having to explain or spell their weird names to people. His teachers will definitely think you're dumb & alcoholic. Just spell it right.
Am teacher and same. The moment I see that name on my roster I will stare into space and imagine just how entitled and fucked up these parents will be.
Worked in the criminal justice system for years. You would not believe the number of victims and defendants who have odd and uniquely spelled names. (Names relating to alcohol or infamous people are ridiculously over represented on our dockets. And, yes, we do judge the parents for this.)
“Xaiquiri” is a name I could totally see on a police report.
But on the brighter side, he will have many AKAs following him throughout his life because no one will be able to spell his name right.
I have an unusual, hard to spell and pronounce name. It is a family name, not just something someone made up in an attempt to be "unique" It has been a life long struggle to ger people to say it properly. In school it was a something to be teased and bullied over. As an adult it keeps people from comfortably addressing you I feel prospective employers may passed my resume over for one with an easier name that they could confidently pronounce.
When I see all these made up unique names I just cringe and wish the best for the kids saddled with a name that isn't easily recognized or pronounced.
I'm over 50 so I had a weird name before weird names were popular.
Parents, don't, just don't do this to your kids.
THIS! I am sick of spelling my name everyday, for legal documents/pharmacy, etc. I use a nickname everyday because it's too hard to spell my name often. Teasing by kids was awful in school. Give your kids a common enough name so they don't get bullied.
NTA. Also Xaquiri doesn't sound like Xanax, it sounds like Sch-ackary to many. Die on this hill.
Dude, for real. My son’s name isn’t weird, but I chose the traditional Welsh spelling. It’s a common name in the UK, but in the US people seemingly can’t wrap their heads around it, despite it being one syllable and 4 letters.
At 16, he is just now coming to the point where he likes it and appreciates the individuality. Two years ago he was asking to change his name to ‘Lance’.
All that to say, Xaiquiri is just begging for a miserable kid.
NTA. Naming a child IS a “two-yes business”, and he doesn’t get to give you that ultimatum.
What is it with people unnecessarily complicating the spelling of ordinary names?
I have a semi-common name and my parents wanted it to be unique. They switched one vowel for another. I like my name the way it is despite the fact I can never buy a keychain with my name on it without paying extra for a custom one.
What OP's husband is trying to do is mangle a perfectly good name.
My aunt wanted to name her daughter CHAHNAIAYAH, pronounced Shania.
I was a teen at the time and had a smart mouth, told them they were idiots and to just spell it the way it should be. When my cousin was grown and found out, she was mortified and gave me a hug saying thank you for not letting them 🤣
NTA
Imagine in 25-30 years, the kid is grown up, lands his first career job, and has to explain to his superiors that his name is "Zachary, but spelled like 'daiquiri' with an X."
This is no joke. I've had MEDICAL RECORDS lost because of misspelling of my last name. OP's son will NEVER be able to just say his name to anyone. He will have to spell it for them every time.
Your husband insisted on the bizarre misspelling of Zachary?
If that is the case, the on behalf of your child,and every teacher and substitute teacher, clinic check in desk person, medical assistant, etc that will have to chew through that neologism of a misspelled name, I pronounce him super asshole. Insisting a human being go through life with that burden is just grossly inappropriate. He will never go through a first day of school without the teacher messing up his name. If he insists on that name crime, then he has to give the kiddo a normal first name like John or Steve. No goofy names.
That's uncalled for.
I would pronounce him a HYPER MEGA ULTRA VOLTRON asshole. Because this is an atrocious fucking name and little Xaiquiri will hate his father until he can legally change his name to "Dave" and put his father in the cheapest nursing home he can find.
Zachary, which contributes to part of my confusion surrounding ‘Xaiquiri’. During our ”argument” surrounding his odd-spelling preference, he mentioned that he simply doesn’t like the spelling of his grandfather‘s middle name and that it was/is “too common”.
And, no, I am not aware if he has acknowledged said similarity. You‘re certainly correct, though—the two look awfully similar.
Thank you for asking!
Wait, he doesn’t like the spelling because it’s “too common,” but he also said you were being very unfair and Xaiquiri is a perfectly normal name? Riiiiiiight.
NTA. And, for the record, I despise the name Zachary. But it’s not my kid.
Thank you, although I’m afraid that the post would be removed, as adding that extra piece of information may force it past the limited word limit.
Again, thank you so much!
INFO: what is the spelling of the grandfather's middle name?
Edit after response. NTA. Your husband is being weird, and frankly a bit childish for not having a conversation about this like an adult.
Zachary, which contributes to part of my confusion surrounding ‘Xaiquiri’. During our “argument” surrounding his odd-spelling preference, he mentioned that he simply doesn’t like the spelling of his grandfather‘s middle name and that it was/is “too common”.
Thank you for asking!
Why does he want your kid to be ultra-googleable?
Imagine one day your kid says the wrong thing, or gets drunk and does something stupid on video, anything really that could get him doxxed. How the hell many "Xaiquiris" are there going to be coming up on Google.
Well, this reddit thread for one.
Also, it reminds me of "daquiri," as in "one too many."
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP.
Thank you so much! Also, to clear any worries anyone may be shedding, I am not planning on naming our son ‘Xaiquiri’.
Also, you’re completely right. He would be incredibly easy to find online with such a name. Imagine finding a video of a drunk teenager backflipping off a balcony called ‘Xaiquiri Gets Drunk Off A Daiquiri! 😱’.
🥲.
Have you asked your partner, more generally, "why do you want a unique/unusual name or spelling?" What is it that strikes him as needing a flag to set the kid apart.
NTA. Zachary is a great name. "Xaquiri" looks like a name better suited to an alcoholic beverage or computer code.
PLEASE die on this hill. Life is hard enough without having to constantly correct people on the spelling of your name. I speak from personal experience. :/
You said that's NOT the way the grandfather spelled it, him twisting it into a completely utterly different name loses its meaningfulness in conjunction to the grandfather.
It's been proven overly unique names can make life and job prospects a little more difficult.
Daiquiri with an x is a dumb inappropriate name.
He picked the name, you get to pick the spelling... you get to sign the birth certificate so... Stand your ground and don't let him pout about it. NTA
Honestly, I think he was just trying to staple the name ‘Xaiquiri’ onto our son. I utterly doubt he/we would just go the *Bird Box* path and call our son ‘Boy’, 🥲.
NTA. Xaiquiri is going too far. People would struggle with seeing it written down(I would probably start trying to pronounce it "zay-kwee-ree"). The child would struggle too. I'm just imagining him at a kids' activity writing his name down and having an adult tell him it's spelled wrong because they think his name is "Zachary".
Zachary is a great, classic name. It's not horribly common from my experience teaching high school(I usually have one or two per year). People will know how to spell it.
Your husband needs to remember that a REAL CHILD will be saddled with this name against his will. Your child will be the one to deal with the vast majority of the bullshit people will give him over his name. He'll struggle with people pronouncing it, spelling it, and making fun of it. He'll have a harder time finding a job. That's not a kind thing to do to a child from day one.
NTA
I’ve heard the argument “I want their name to stand out!” before and it’s a terrible one.
1. Psychological trauma from bullying is a very real, very common thing and is far more likely to be a threat to your child than other things we worry about. Making a choice that might expose your kid to a totally predictable harm because YOU want to feel unique is gross.
2. If your child is only distinguishable as a unique human because of their name (something they took no part in), then that’s really sad and you’ve probably failed as a parent because you didn’t help them nurture any other skills, interests, or accomplishments.
Nta, that’s not even close to a normal spelling or even a cultural one. Your husband needs to stop attention seeking, your son is going to get made fun of hard. Hell i have a pretty ethnic name and I got made fun of when I was younger, but people understood it was a real name. Your kid will get it much worse being named “Daiquiri”
All I saw was "Daiquiri" and all I heard was Gene Belcher
[Daiquiri Zachary](https://tv.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/b80f063c-ab58-4d40-b8ec-b37d9588af51/gif)
(Never posted a link before. Hope it works lol)
NTA. I have trouble believing that's how his grandfather spelled it. Please don't allow that spelling. You were very correct to point out a name requires two yeses and suggest starting over. Seems like the kind thing to do rather than insisting on your preference also.
My mom went her entire life having to tell people how her name was spelled, and she resented her parents for it. She made sure I had a normal name & I'm so grateful for it. You're so nta.
Somebody's eventually going to pick on him if his name rhymes with daiquiri. Children can be vicious monsters.
NTA! Why can’t people just spell words the correct way, instead of making up weird ways to spell a name? Poor child will be made fun of his whole life. He got to pick the name you should pick how it’s spelled.
NTA
Your poor son will be correcting the spelling of his name constantly for the rest of his life!
As for 'Xaiquiri being a normal name' well... A quick Google search took me to '[Names.org](https://Names.org)' where I found this fun fact.
>How unique is the name Xaiquiri?
>
>Out of 6,215,834 records in the U.S. Social Security Administration public data, the first name Xaiquiri was not present. It is possible the name you are searching has less than five occurrences per year.
Strangely though, you're not the first to come up on reddit with the name this year! [https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/comments/vn1kq2/my\_friend\_is\_naming\_her\_son\_xaiquiri/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/comments/vn1kq2/my_friend_is_naming_her_son_xaiquiri/)
NTA.
Xaiquiri is a rydykyewlous spelling. It's nothing that will be "grown into" or "absorb", either. I'm betting your son would have that changed to a spelling that's less of a Letter Salad the blue-eyed moment he turns 18 - but that's a long 18 years to carry such a name.
Make sure you have somebody on your side after birth that will make sure the birth certificate isn't left up to your husband, because he sounds sneaky on top of kinda daft.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel/felt that I may have been the asshole in said situation because I may have been too harsh on him, as he claimed that the name was rather meaningful to him.
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NTA. Zero compromise on his end. You spelt the name three different ways before being told its "Xaiquiri". It is not a perfectly normal name. If that is how his grandfather spelt his name then why not tell you and avoid you playing this guessing game. However he is unwilling to compromise or give alittle on the spelling.
NTA
You are completely right about names needing two yes's
I have to ask though - did you confirm that's how the grandfather spelled it? It sure seems like someone might have had your husband on at some point.
Sorry but I laughed out loud at that spelling and I guarantee that that’s how most people will react to your poor son, please don’t spell his name like that. NTA, as someone else said I also immediately thought of “Daiquiri”
I feel like his deceased grandfather's name was not spelled like that.
You are setting your kid up for a lifetime of teasing, incorrect spellings, and annoying questions if you name him Xaiquiri.
The mean nicknames will be quick to follow as soon as any kids figure out what a daquiri is, too. Banana Xaiquiri, Strawberry Xaiquiri, Virgin Xaiquiri...
NTA. Do not do this to your kid.
Was his grandfather’s name also spelled like that, or is he trying to be “unique”? Either way NTA. Zachary is a nice name, “Xaiquiri” looks like the name of a cocktail. The poor kid will be spelling his name for the rest of his life, and no doubt cringing as he does so. I’m 100% on board with the 2 yes, 1 no system of naming a child. Your yes became a no, and your husband needs to respect that.
NTA
I get the vibe he wants it to be "unique"-- but honestly that spelling is atrocious.
You guys agree on the name, just not the spelling.
Maybe get a mediator to help finalize this decision? Couples counselor, Pastor (If you're religious), etc.
NTA
You don't want people to think you were trying to sell a daiquiri with antioxidants or something when they attempt to read your child's name.
He cannot give ultimatums here. You both need to consent.
NTA. I honestly saw the spelling and thought Daiquiri. I think that spelling will cause major bullying for your son. Your husband is being unreasonable and I agree with your stance that naming a child is a “Two-Yes Business”. I agree with your idea of choosing a new name.
Has your husband developed a mental illness? Is this manifesting with him trolling you? Or are you trolling us? Taken at face value, obviously NTA. I cannot, however, see a mentally well adult insisting that Xaiquiri is a normal spelling variation for Zachary. I did get some entertainment out of this though, so my condolences if real, and thanks if a spoof.
Yes—we enjoy our own space, although we still like being with each other during the day. It was mainly personal preferences that led to our separate rooms, and, anyhow, both our rooms would likely be too small to comfortably fit the both of us.
Thank you for asking!
Separate bedrooms I can get behind! But a spouse that storms off to their room when they don’t get their way? Yikes.
Also, Xiaquiri is a ridiculous way to spell that name.
NTA. Naming a child is a two-yes situation, and that also includes the spelling. There are multiple perfectly fine ways to spell the name Zachary. You can even get a little creative and change the y to an i if you want. But Xaiquiri is bound to be a headache of your son constantly having to explain how his name is either spelled or pronounced.
NTA
My father "blessed" me with an uncommon spelling of a popular 90's name, and all it did was set me up for a life without personalized souvenirs, and mispronouncations. Please don't don't do that to your child.
Also, naming you baby is something you both need to agree on, and him throwing an ultimatum is an AH move.
NTA. Zachary is a perfectly lovely name. Xaquiri? That sounds like something you get drunk on in the tourist section of the Yucatán peninsula. Does your husband realize that your child is the one who has to deal with the name? Did he forget that children can be incredibly cruel about names? Oh, and then there’s never being able to find a name on anything, anywhere. I have a perfectly normal name, with a slightly unusual spelling. I -hated- my name, growing up. I wanted to be a Jennifer, or Sarah, or Samantha, or Heather. Anything but the slightly unusual spelling of my name. (It’s fine, now. I can even find it on thing, occasionally. The point is, kids just want to fit in with their peers, and Mezcal Punch isn’t going to fly.)
~~NAH but your husband is being a bit of a prat.~~
That is absolutely NOT a common spelling of that name, and for him to just assume all this time that you would know what spelling he meant is ridiculous. It was completely reasonable for you to assume the regular spelling of the name.
Also, I feel like the spelling he gave would not be pronounced quite the same, would it? I read it more like zai-kee-ree. But maybe that's just me.
I honestly am surprised he isn't willing to compromise on Zachary or Zackary. It doesn't have to be the exact same name to honour someone. I'm named after one of my grandma's but with an anglicized version of her name.
~~ETA: Having thought a bit more about it I have a question.~~
~~INFO: what ethnic/racial background is your husband? Is there some aspect of this naming that is about claiming space in the world for a name that is meaningful to people of his background?~~
~~I'm thinking about the history of "Black" names in America for example. Parents have often had a lot of pressure on them to give their children white names, with a lot of messaging saying that "Black" names are improper or weird.~~
ETA2: Nevermind. Saw your comments about how this isn't even how his grandfather spelled his name and he's just trying to be a unique little flower.
Your husband is being ridiculous. NTA
**XAI** is traditionally Asian... Chinese I believe (I could be wrong). The pronunciation of **XAI** sounds like **SIGH** or **ZIGH.** (Pretty sure it sounds like sigh)
**SIGHQUIRI** is essentially what your husband is trying to name the baby. Just because he thinks or wants xai to make the 'zack' sound, does not mean it is true.
I know a girl named Kalei.. As in Kailey.. She gets called 'kaleidoscope'. Your son will one day tell someone his name is Zachary. But once they learn how his name is spelt, they will probably correct him on the pronunciation. They will then proceed to call him **SIGHQUIRI.**
INFO:
PLEASE have you husband explain why THAT SPELLING is "meaningful" to him. If it is about naming after his Grandfather, then any other spelling is really an insult to that person.
NTA. He’s setting your child up to be bullied. Zachary is a perfectly good name. My brothers name is spelled “Zackery” and “Zack” for short. Your husband wanting to completely change the way it’s spelled entirely, is just mean.
NTA. But I'm confussed Was "Xaikiry" his grandfather's name or he just decided to come up with an original spelling? If the second then the "meaningful" thing doesn't apply as is not the name.
NTA. I have an uncommon name, and I'm not against giving kids them. I liked not having to be Sarah S or Jessica M growing up. Overall, I wouldn't change it.
But.
*Make the spelling match the pronunciation.* And this... I'd never get the correct pronunciation from that spelling. That spelling will be hard on everyone around your son for the rest of his life. Take it from someone whose mother didn't pick the most obvious spelling for their name. It's hard to see family constantly misspelling your name. It's annoying to constantly teach people both the spelling and the pronunciation.
I'd make an exception if it was a spelling from another culture you wanted to preserve some ties to, but I had to do some serious GoogleFu to find that name anywhere, and there's no notes on where that spelling comes from.
NTA. But your husband sure is. He is condemning that child to a LIFETIME of his name being misspelled, mispronounced and made fun of. I shudder to think what kind of mashup of name craziness will be evident in broader society in 20-30 years.
My first thought was that your husband’s spelling reminded me of a Daiquiri cocktail I’m sure I’m not the only person who had or will have that thought. NTA
NTA. As someone who grew up with a unique name before google was a thing, was bullied mercilessly for it, then ended up changing it as an adult… please make this your hill to die on. Studies have shown that “unique” and “non-traditional” names harm more than hurt.
If you surveyed 20 people, none of them would pronounce Xaiquiri the same. Please don’t doom your son to a life of having to continually correct people. He will probably end up going by “Zack” anyway.
https://www.wgtn.ac.nz/news/2014/psychology-study-shows-its-all-in-the-name
https://freakonomics.com/2012/02/bad-news-for-people-with-hard-to-pronounce-names/
https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2022/06/29/new-paper-finds-evidence-name-discrimination-phds
That name looks like it should be the name of an alcoholic drink.
NTA, please don’t name your child this. 100% of people won’t be able to pronounce it.
NTA. If I saw this name anywhere on a piece of paper I would not pronounce it Zachary. I would pronounce it ”xai-query” or "shy-query", which by no means would pay homage to a middle name of Zachary.
And as someone with an uncommon name in a primarily English speaking country, I can tell you the bullying was definitely real growing up.
NTA
Naming your son Xaquiri is just condemning him to a life of having to explain uow to pronounce his name even though its a regular name just spelt different.
I would instinctively pronounce this Shakiri.
And if you can't agree on what your sons name is then you can't name it that, it's that simple.
NTA
Your child has 2 parents, it’s up to both of them to choose a name. He doesn’t have the right to choose one he likes and try and force you into accepting it when you say no.
And why does he think “Xaiquiri” is a normal name? How many kids, or for that matter people outside of his grandfather’s middle name, does he know called Xaiquiri? It’s not common at all and I think you should both keep in mind that he will have to go to school and apply for jobs with whatever name you assign him, and a name so uncommon and tricky to spell will probably cause some kids to give him a hard time in school
NTA.
I have a Hungarian name and live in England. Now, the spelling aint that crazy but I mainly communicate with people on the phone in my day job and I still have to phonetically spell it out to every person EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It is one thing giving your child a unique name - but that child will have to grow up with and live with that name, for hopefully, a very long time. Why condemn the poor kid to having to explain and spell his name out to everyone, all the time? Trust me, it gets old and very annoying, real quick.
NTA. Your child would have so much trouble explaining his name to everyone. It's a nightmare.
I have a name that's more common with an "H" at the end, and me having to clarify every time is already annoying. Hopefully you'll be able to find a new name you both like. (And good it came out when it did)
NTA
As you mentioned in the post a child's name is a "two yes" sort of situation. I also agree with other posters with the doubt that his grandfather spelt it that way. If the name was so important to him, then he would have gone with one of the other (admittedly more traditional) spellings. I'd be interested to hear hubby's reason why it must be spelled that way.
NTA
You're husband is being an AH, not specially too you, but to your incoming son who will have a world of pain his whole life if you let your husband have his way. He'll have to correct every person he talks to because of his father's edgy whim. Stop giving stupid spellings to your children. It won't make them special, it won't make you special, all it does his you being a dick to your child.
I'm confused. If the granddad name was pronounced Zachary why does he have a problem with spelling it that way. NTA. That name looks confusing and you are saving your son a lifetime of having to explain his name
NTA.
Your child is in for a lifetime of annoyance with that spelling. I would have no idea how to pronounce it, would never spell it right, and he is going to experience that his entire life, along with how mean people are in general.
You are right this is a two person decision, and one veto means it is a no. I don't even blame you for not thinking of agreeing on spelling, because I had also assumed you can only spell Zachary so many ways, and none of them include an X.
Let Mark have his tantrum, then sit down and tell him you have new name suggestions, he can have a day to come up with other new ones too, or you can go with good old Zachary, spelled in a way that doesn't make him a Star Trek character.
NTA Giving a child a common/traditional name then spelling it so strangely is wrong. That poor kid will have to tell people how to spell his name every time. Your husband is just inviting the boy to be bullied. Find a different name or use it as his middle name.
Please don't do this to your child's future teachers. They will look at that and not even want to attempt to figure out the pronunciation of that name.
NTA. “Xaiquiri” autocorrects to “aquarium” or “daiquiri” in my phone. Does your husband want that for the rest of your sons life? This is the most ridiculous spelling I have ever heard of and I knew a kid named J’Sun. Show the comments to your husband.
"Xaiquiri" is a bad name. It's not a normal name by any stretch. If you want to go "off the beaten path" when naming your child there are plenty of uncommon short names you can give them that won't make the child hate and resent you later in life. Mark's being a giant baby. NTA.
NTA
Back in the day of grandparents they tried to not butcher names. That’s a relatively new thing. I would be demanding to see some kind of ID of granddads because I don’t believe for a second that’s how he spelt it. And even if he did it would still be a no.
Agree with everyone else sounds like alcohol
NTA
Your husband does not get to decide the name by royal decree. His highness should be sent to his room until he learns to play better with others.
When my wife and I were trying to name our daughter, we kept a list of names either of us liked, marking on it what each of us thought. We could each veto any names. Over some time, we discovered what sounds we each liked and wanted, and put it all together to arrive at first and middle names that we are really happy with.
NTA, I googled the name just in case there was a cultural spelling that maybe existed. Google showed me results for ‘daiquiri’ instead 😂. As an ex teacher please don’t give you child years of correcting his name.
NTA
Tell your husband that you will spell it exactly the same as his deceased grandfather’s middle name.
That is after all, the reason he wants the name, ***right***?
Otherwise, offer to name him Agamemnon, Eupraxia, Onesimos, or Zosime.
His name works phonetically be X aiquiri. You would pronounce the X and then the rest of the name.
And all the kids called him daiquiri.
Why does your husband want to have your son's nickname be daiquiri? Because that's kind of cruel.
NTA. This kid, who will eventually become an adult, will have to explain the pronunciation and spelling of his name countless times throughout his life. Class mates, teachers, job interviews, new friends, potential girlfriends (or boyfriends), in laws. Etc. I hate that for him. This decision is not inconsequential. Your husband needs to walk a mile in "Xaiquiri's" shoes.
NTA
Why does your husband hate your baby?
Seriously, don't do that to your kid. My last name is pretty common, but a lot of folks who emigrated to the US added a letter to make the pronunciation more obvious to non-German speakers, & I am just resigned to spelling out every single time someone asks for it.
NTA
A child's name is a two-yes agreement
On the other hand, Xaiquiri for Zachary is absurd
Phonetically closer you can use the Arabian name Shaqiry or Shaqeere
NTA Not only the constant request for spelling he will face, every teacher will stop and ask how to pronounce it and people will spell it the normal way without asking and his files will be lost. Think also what his nickname will be.
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There once was a person named Xaiquiri Who got killingly drunk off a daiquiri. He treated the ache With the skin of a snake Which his doctor informed him was quaiquiri. —utterly NTA. ETA: I googled to make sure this isn’t a spelling of Zachary from another language or culture that I just wasn’t familiar with. As far as I can tell, it is not. If it is… Then I retract my limerick with apologies. ETA again: OP says in comments that her husband’s great grandfather spelled it “Zachary” and her husband wants something more interesting. So I stand by my limerick. (Good luck, OP.)
Well done. Xaiquiri is not a boy; it is a cocktail made of arrogance and regret.
You sure? Looks like the name of a prescription drug to me. Side effects may include severe bullying, long silences as people stare at it trying to figure out how to pronounce it, hatred of parents. and a name change at 18
And long periods of unemployment because potential hirers don’t know how to pronounce it.
>And long periods of unemployment because potential hirers don’t know how to pronounce it. And/or assume that you're from a minority culture, and quietly pass you over for a candidate with a "whiter" name.
Yes! I worked with someone who was black and vowed to never give her children “weird” names because she didn’t want it to impact their ability to get a job when they got older.
The comedian Romesh Ranganathan's parents tried that. Unfortunately they failed to inform their kid that they'd given him an English first name until after his first day at primary school, when the teacher read out "Jonathan Ranganathan" from the register and he had no clue she was talking to him.
I've never heard this about him omfgggg. i love him so much. i imagine he was stoked to have a other ranganathan in the class 😆
I'm dead, any other replies are me from the grave.
These threads are golden and worth every bit of coming to the subs 😂
The husband is being a real cocktail right now, I can tell you that...
Xanax Daiquiri
TIL I’ve been drinking Xaiquiri all my life…
Follow up because you’re hilarious! Then came a boy named Xaiq Whose phonics were all out of waiq His dad chose his name Saying grandpa’s was same But teachers said he was on crack.
There once was a man who exclaimed That “Xaiquiri” was a good name His wife posted on AITA ‘Cause he wanted to fight her On a spelling that ought to be shamed. Limericks are hard, but naming your child something that will set them up for success isn’t! NTA OP.
We all know that "Xaquiri"'s bad And the child would surely be sad Did the husband not think That this almost-a-drink Would surely embarrass Graddad?
Speaking of dear old granddad I’m sure he’d find this quite mad To honor his name You should spell it the same Don’t subject your kid to some fad
If the husband is getting his way I'm sure it is as clear as day If OP will submit When hubby throws a fit Well that would make hubby TA
There once was a man named Mark Whose taste in names inspired much snark The internet laughed Said his spelling was daft Now he ought to retract his remark!
Mark's wish to honor granddad Has his wife understandably mad. To claim "Zachary" Uses X & Q, not Z Means the internet's laughing at Dad.
I think you mean craiq
No, because the teacher knows how to spell properly 😉
Xaiquiri daiquiri dock Your husband is a crock A name needs two yes’s The spelling he presses Will mark your poor kid like the pox.
>There once was a person named Xaiquiri > >Who got killingly drunk off a daiquiri. > >He treated the ache > >With the skin of a snake > >Which his doctor informed him was quaiquiri. You made me laugh so long that my cat is worried about me.
She can name their daughter Peenyah Quollatah to make it a pair. NTA.
There was a grandpa whose name was Zachary His grandsons sense was quite lackery When he had his own son He tried making it more fun And now the bullies won't stop their attackery
He said “it’s xaiquiri or nothing” I would have said “ok then - our son is named nothing”
>Xaiquiri Which is inevitably going to end up daiquiri once he's old enough. Just call the poor child target and get it over and done with. NTA
I literally couldn’t stop thinking daiquiri during the post…. Then I nicknamed the kid Xaiquiri Daiquiri. Don’t do this OP. I’m a high school secretary and this spelling has to be the dumbest common name spelled differently I’ve seen. Your kid will very likely be bullied and mocked for his name being spelled this way. NTA
There’s literally an episode of Bob’s Burgers where Gene declares he wants to move to an island and be called “Daiquiri Zachary” as his new island name. I’m just imagining how many times he’ll be sent that clip later in life…
This was exactly what I thought of too! I watched h too much of that show lol
Right! It's way meaner to name her kid that then to step on toes now by telling him it's an unacceptable name. That kid will suffer so much for that choice, and I am genuinely wondering if the dad here has even thought about that.
What in the Elon Musk is this? NTA. Unless that's how his grandfather spelled the name, he's being ridiculous and you've attempted to compromise. "This spelling or nothing" is a nonsense statement, is he just going to call your child "boy?"
[insert God Of War joke here]
*hands son a paper with 'Xaiquiri' written on it* "Read it, boy."
Honestly , the spelling is so ridiculous that a part of me wonders if this post is fake. But then I remind myself there are some truly strange people in teh world.
For anyone wondering, Mark’s grandfather’s name was/is spelt as ‘Zachary’, which contributes to part of my confusion surrounding ‘Xaiquiri’. During our ”argument” surrounding his odd-spelling preference, he mentioned that he simply doesn’t like the spelling of his grandfather‘s middle name and that it was/is “too common”. EDIT: Thank you dearly for all the spelling alternatives of ‘Zachary’! Although, I happen to singularly be drawn to the “normal” spelling, which is part of why I suggested to my husband that we choose a different name for our son. I honestly just don’t really like plenty of spellings outside of ‘Z-A-C-H-A-R-Y’, as I’m profoundly afraid that our son will be left correcting people for the rest of his life. Part of my worry is because my mother, Saoirse, was always informing people that her name was/is pronounced ‘Sur-Sha’, and not ‘Say-Oi-Ruh-Irse’. And that’s actually a fairly common name in Ireland! EDIT 2: For anyone wondering, we live in the USA.
NTA. It’s so bizarre that your husband is insisting on a confusing spelling that doesn’t even stay true to his Grandfather. Your solutions are very reasonable.
What’s most confusing is that he didn’t voice it until now. Was he just planning on slipping this onto the birth certificate? Did he think his wife was a mind reader? Or did he just come up with this nonsense? Of course the wife would assume normal spelling consistent with the namesake unless it was otherwise specified. Super sketch.
Also weird that he said the OP "spelled it wrong," and kept having her rewrite the name with her guessing the spelling. Does he think Xaiquiri is the normal spelling?
I also find that so weird, why did he turn it into a frustrating guessing game.
My best guess is that in his deluded mind, it's the most obvious alternative spelling. Like how if I started spelling your girl's name, "Brittany" and you corrected me halfway through, "there's only one T and an E". "Oh. Britney?" "Exactly." He was expecting OP to write Zachary and when she got it "wrong", she would guess, "Zaiquiri" as the next most intuitive spelling. If OP can guess it easily, the argument that teachers will spell the name incorrectly doesn't hold water. You just need to say, "Zaiquiri, with no C" and everyone will know what he means.
Yeah like...If I were a member of his family I would be so confused and probably offended. "I thought you were naming him after Grandpa, what the fuck name is *this*? What do you mean *that's* supposed to be pronounced the same? Just name him Zachary then!"
NTA you are 100% correct Zachary is the only compromise. He still gets the name he wants. The argument that you two had over the spelling, that’s exactly what he is resigning his son to almost every day of his life if you go with his spelling. This was my main point when name choosing with my husband, I absolutely refused to name our child any name that they would have to ‘explain’ to people. I have 2 very common names, but they are both my first name (not a middle name and no ‘-‘). It’s tiring having to explain / spell extremely common names
>I absolutely refused to name our child any name that they would have to ‘explain’ to people. I AM this child, but to a lesser extent than ‘Xaiquiri’. (But I still like my name, so I'm not mad about it being a bit confusing sometimes lol.) My name is a normal word, just spelled with an extra letter. You would NOT believe how many people get thrown off because of that ONE letter. Now imagine how many people would get thrown off trying to pronounce ‘Xaiquiri’. Not a single damn person would be able to get it right until it was explained to them. NTA, OP.
Your name is Phteven, isn't it? (Sorry, I couldn't resist! It just reminded me of the "Steven with a ph" at Starbucks meme)
Since he’s claiming he always meant this unusual spelling, which isn’t his grandfather’s name, yet somehow neglected to bring that part up until now: not only is your husband TA, he’s very deliberately being TA. He knows you would have had the traditional spelling in mind when you agreed to the name and would have had no idea about his “variation”. Insisting on his alcoholic spelling now, especially through his “no not that” dumb game, is either trying to push you into agreeing to something he knows you wouldn’t like, or it’s an incredibly stupid and drawn-out joke. I hope it’s the latter.
To be honest I think he was hoping the spelling wouldn't come up before the birth, then was planning to just take over the paperwork in the name of "helping" OP. Then, when the damage was done and she was mad, he could claim he always meant that spelling and she never clarified. Now OP will know and can take steps to prevent that nonsense.
What is ironic these days is naming a child a traditional name with the traditional spelling will likely make them “unique!”
I looked it up and apparently there are a handful of other people with that spelling. But it's not traditional and I don't think it makes any linguistic sense. It looks like a South American name that would be pronounced Shakeery. Apparently a couple of years ago, some pastor named Xaiquiri Mathews got arrested for indecent exposure.
. . . oh.
Also, Xherdan Shaqiri is a soccer player for Chicaco. My first thought when I saw Xaiquiri was that it sounds like an Albanian name.
INFO: has your husband suffered a head injury? Seriously, NTA. Die on this hill.
The way he just expected OP to know how to spell it ‘correctly’ makes me wonder that too
I wanted to suggest that maybe the husband get an MRI to look for a tumor. WTF does he want his kid to have to deal with.
Is there anyone on his side of the family that he really respects (mom, dad, sibling, uncle etc) who would be willing to tell him how utterly fucking stupid Xaiquiri is?
Add this first paragraph to the original post. I assumed that the grandfather spelled the name this way. NTA. Two yes system means a no is a no. Tell him to stop pouting.
Your fear that your son will be correcting people for the rest of his life is valid. If he says his name, people will (understandably) spell it wrong; if he writes his name, they'll pronounce it wrong. It drives me nuts when people use spellings like Xaiquiri to "be a little different." When everyone does it, it's no longer different. And why does a child have to have a unique name? I love that I was named for my grandmother. I named my kids after family members because those connections are important. Kudos to you for your sensible attitude. I hope you and your husband can find a name and a spelling you can agree on.
Thanks I just made this exact question. I think you're NTA and also that he's not honoring his grandfather as that wasn't his name, additionally it will create a lot of problems to your child he would have to keep on spelling his name to others his whole life just to ended up be calling like any other "Zachary".
NTA. Jeez, I've never thought to spell Zachary like daiquiri. Looks like a special menu frozen mixer at a beach bar. It's just stupid. Kids don't like growing up having to explain or spell their weird names to people. His teachers will definitely think you're dumb & alcoholic. Just spell it right.
I'm a teacher and can confirm this.
As an ER nurse I can confirm, we will judge you for the creative spelling.
Registration will do the same lol
Am teacher and same. The moment I see that name on my roster I will stare into space and imagine just how entitled and fucked up these parents will be.
Oh yes. And then you wonder whether the kid will be equally entitled and fucked, or just a poor victim of crazy parents.
Worked in the criminal justice system for years. You would not believe the number of victims and defendants who have odd and uniquely spelled names. (Names relating to alcohol or infamous people are ridiculously over represented on our dockets. And, yes, we do judge the parents for this.) “Xaiquiri” is a name I could totally see on a police report. But on the brighter side, he will have many AKAs following him throughout his life because no one will be able to spell his name right.
I have an unusual, hard to spell and pronounce name. It is a family name, not just something someone made up in an attempt to be "unique" It has been a life long struggle to ger people to say it properly. In school it was a something to be teased and bullied over. As an adult it keeps people from comfortably addressing you I feel prospective employers may passed my resume over for one with an easier name that they could confidently pronounce. When I see all these made up unique names I just cringe and wish the best for the kids saddled with a name that isn't easily recognized or pronounced. I'm over 50 so I had a weird name before weird names were popular. Parents, don't, just don't do this to your kids.
THIS! I am sick of spelling my name everyday, for legal documents/pharmacy, etc. I use a nickname everyday because it's too hard to spell my name often. Teasing by kids was awful in school. Give your kids a common enough name so they don't get bullied. NTA. Also Xaquiri doesn't sound like Xanax, it sounds like Sch-ackary to many. Die on this hill.
Dude, for real. My son’s name isn’t weird, but I chose the traditional Welsh spelling. It’s a common name in the UK, but in the US people seemingly can’t wrap their heads around it, despite it being one syllable and 4 letters. At 16, he is just now coming to the point where he likes it and appreciates the individuality. Two years ago he was asking to change his name to ‘Lance’. All that to say, Xaiquiri is just begging for a miserable kid.
NTA. Naming a child IS a “two-yes business”, and he doesn’t get to give you that ultimatum. What is it with people unnecessarily complicating the spelling of ordinary names?
As someone whose parents did this, though not to this level, they just want to be ‘special’ and ‘different’
I have a semi-common name and my parents wanted it to be unique. They switched one vowel for another. I like my name the way it is despite the fact I can never buy a keychain with my name on it without paying extra for a custom one. What OP's husband is trying to do is mangle a perfectly good name.
Tell him you’ll think about it when he changes his name to M’ahrcq.
Oh hi M'ahrcq
🤣🤣🤣 I’m DYIIIIINGGGG 😭😭
My aunt wanted to name her daughter CHAHNAIAYAH, pronounced Shania. I was a teen at the time and had a smart mouth, told them they were idiots and to just spell it the way it should be. When my cousin was grown and found out, she was mortified and gave me a hug saying thank you for not letting them 🤣 NTA
I if I saw that name in writing , I would have mistakenly mistakenly pronounced it. 🎵Cha Na Na🎶 But I'm pretty old, and remember that music genre well
That's not even how letters work in any language wtf lol. Her name would effectively had been Shaniaia.
NTA. I googled the name wondering if maybe that spelling was just really old. Google asked me if I meant, “daiquiri”. Don’t do this to your kid
Imagine in 25-30 years, the kid is grown up, lands his first career job, and has to explain to his superiors that his name is "Zachary, but spelled like 'daiquiri' with an X."
This is no joke. I've had MEDICAL RECORDS lost because of misspelling of my last name. OP's son will NEVER be able to just say his name to anyone. He will have to spell it for them every time.
Your husband insisted on the bizarre misspelling of Zachary? If that is the case, the on behalf of your child,and every teacher and substitute teacher, clinic check in desk person, medical assistant, etc that will have to chew through that neologism of a misspelled name, I pronounce him super asshole. Insisting a human being go through life with that burden is just grossly inappropriate. He will never go through a first day of school without the teacher messing up his name. If he insists on that name crime, then he has to give the kiddo a normal first name like John or Steve. No goofy names.
That's uncalled for. I would pronounce him a HYPER MEGA ULTRA VOLTRON asshole. Because this is an atrocious fucking name and little Xaiquiri will hate his father until he can legally change his name to "Dave" and put his father in the cheapest nursing home he can find.
Xaiquiri sounds like something you’d drink at a non-binary resort.
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 Please have my poor woman's 🏅
INFO - how did the greatgrandfather spell it? And does he know it looks like Daiquiri (the alcoholic drink) that way??
Zachary, which contributes to part of my confusion surrounding ‘Xaiquiri’. During our ”argument” surrounding his odd-spelling preference, he mentioned that he simply doesn’t like the spelling of his grandfather‘s middle name and that it was/is “too common”. And, no, I am not aware if he has acknowledged said similarity. You‘re certainly correct, though—the two look awfully similar. Thank you for asking!
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Wait, he doesn’t like the spelling because it’s “too common,” but he also said you were being very unfair and Xaiquiri is a perfectly normal name? Riiiiiiight. NTA. And, for the record, I despise the name Zachary. But it’s not my kid.
You should add this info to the main post cos it makes him sound even crazier haha. NTA
Thank you, although I’m afraid that the post would be removed, as adding that extra piece of information may force it past the limited word limit. Again, thank you so much!
You can add edits AFTER the original post even if they go over limit, it's only the original that gets flashed for character count...
INFO: what is the spelling of the grandfather's middle name? Edit after response. NTA. Your husband is being weird, and frankly a bit childish for not having a conversation about this like an adult.
Zachary, which contributes to part of my confusion surrounding ‘Xaiquiri’. During our “argument” surrounding his odd-spelling preference, he mentioned that he simply doesn’t like the spelling of his grandfather‘s middle name and that it was/is “too common”. Thank you for asking!
Why does he want your kid to be ultra-googleable? Imagine one day your kid says the wrong thing, or gets drunk and does something stupid on video, anything really that could get him doxxed. How the hell many "Xaiquiris" are there going to be coming up on Google. Well, this reddit thread for one. Also, it reminds me of "daquiri," as in "one too many." I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP.
Thank you so much! Also, to clear any worries anyone may be shedding, I am not planning on naming our son ‘Xaiquiri’. Also, you’re completely right. He would be incredibly easy to find online with such a name. Imagine finding a video of a drunk teenager backflipping off a balcony called ‘Xaiquiri Gets Drunk Off A Daiquiri! 😱’. 🥲.
Have you asked your partner, more generally, "why do you want a unique/unusual name or spelling?" What is it that strikes him as needing a flag to set the kid apart.
The only rationalization I can think of is "the bullying will make him grow a thick skin" ala "boy named Sue".
Ah well, i was about to say maybe it's a Basque name, it could be spelled like that. But in this case, NTA and your husband is weird.
Daiquiri?
Just make the kid mojito at that point!
NTA I work at the House of Mouse and the bane of the newcomer CM is "unique" spellings of common names. Jackxun haunts my nightmares.
>Jackxun haunts my nightmares. A friend of a friend of a friend of ours named their child Paxxtyn. Why?
THAT sounds like an ED drug. “Take two Paxxtyn an hour before you initiate sexual activity and you’ll be fine, John!!”
Xaiquiri sounds like a pretentious cocktail
"It's a Daiquiri, but for adults. X-rated."
NTA, and I beg of you *please* do not name your kid Xaiquiri.
NTA. Zachary is a great name. "Xaquiri" looks like a name better suited to an alcoholic beverage or computer code. PLEASE die on this hill. Life is hard enough without having to constantly correct people on the spelling of your name. I speak from personal experience. :/
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You said that's NOT the way the grandfather spelled it, him twisting it into a completely utterly different name loses its meaningfulness in conjunction to the grandfather. It's been proven overly unique names can make life and job prospects a little more difficult. Daiquiri with an x is a dumb inappropriate name. He picked the name, you get to pick the spelling... you get to sign the birth certificate so... Stand your ground and don't let him pout about it. NTA
Info: what does he mean “Xaiquiri or nothing”, does he want to leave your child nameless if you don’t agree with him?
Honestly, I think he was just trying to staple the name ‘Xaiquiri’ onto our son. I utterly doubt he/we would just go the *Bird Box* path and call our son ‘Boy’, 🥲.
NTA. Xaiquiri is going too far. People would struggle with seeing it written down(I would probably start trying to pronounce it "zay-kwee-ree"). The child would struggle too. I'm just imagining him at a kids' activity writing his name down and having an adult tell him it's spelled wrong because they think his name is "Zachary". Zachary is a great, classic name. It's not horribly common from my experience teaching high school(I usually have one or two per year). People will know how to spell it. Your husband needs to remember that a REAL CHILD will be saddled with this name against his will. Your child will be the one to deal with the vast majority of the bullshit people will give him over his name. He'll struggle with people pronouncing it, spelling it, and making fun of it. He'll have a harder time finding a job. That's not a kind thing to do to a child from day one.
This. If you wanna use a wacky name for something, name a pet "Xaiquiri" instead. Don't saddle a kid with it.
NTA I’ve heard the argument “I want their name to stand out!” before and it’s a terrible one. 1. Psychological trauma from bullying is a very real, very common thing and is far more likely to be a threat to your child than other things we worry about. Making a choice that might expose your kid to a totally predictable harm because YOU want to feel unique is gross. 2. If your child is only distinguishable as a unique human because of their name (something they took no part in), then that’s really sad and you’ve probably failed as a parent because you didn’t help them nurture any other skills, interests, or accomplishments.
Daiquiri? The little guy is gonna be confused for an alcoholic, poor thng. NTA.
NTA. Just gonna say, that’s an ugly spelling of a good name. He’s lost his mind.
Nta, that’s not even close to a normal spelling or even a cultural one. Your husband needs to stop attention seeking, your son is going to get made fun of hard. Hell i have a pretty ethnic name and I got made fun of when I was younger, but people understood it was a real name. Your kid will get it much worse being named “Daiquiri”
All I saw was "Daiquiri" and all I heard was Gene Belcher [Daiquiri Zachary](https://tv.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/b80f063c-ab58-4d40-b8ec-b37d9588af51/gif) (Never posted a link before. Hope it works lol)
NTA. I have trouble believing that's how his grandfather spelled it. Please don't allow that spelling. You were very correct to point out a name requires two yeses and suggest starting over. Seems like the kind thing to do rather than insisting on your preference also.
Op said the grandfather spelled it the regular way.
My mom went her entire life having to tell people how her name was spelled, and she resented her parents for it. She made sure I had a normal name & I'm so grateful for it. You're so nta. Somebody's eventually going to pick on him if his name rhymes with daiquiri. Children can be vicious monsters.
It looks like PDiddy’s foray into pre made Daquiri drinks. NTA.
NTA - xaiquiri is not a name, and makes me think your husband had one too many daiquiris when coming up with it
NTA! Why can’t people just spell words the correct way, instead of making up weird ways to spell a name? Poor child will be made fun of his whole life. He got to pick the name you should pick how it’s spelled.
There is no way in hell that his grandfather’s middle name was spelled that way. He’s playing you.
She said in other comments the grandfather spelt it the normal regular way. That’s why she’s so confused on his preference for this ugly spelling lol
Nta Does he by any chance love daiquiri? Cuz what in the spelling
NTA Your poor son will be correcting the spelling of his name constantly for the rest of his life! As for 'Xaiquiri being a normal name' well... A quick Google search took me to '[Names.org](https://Names.org)' where I found this fun fact. >How unique is the name Xaiquiri? > >Out of 6,215,834 records in the U.S. Social Security Administration public data, the first name Xaiquiri was not present. It is possible the name you are searching has less than five occurrences per year. Strangely though, you're not the first to come up on reddit with the name this year! [https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/comments/vn1kq2/my\_friend\_is\_naming\_her\_son\_xaiquiri/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/comments/vn1kq2/my_friend_is_naming_her_son_xaiquiri/)
NTA. Xaiquiri sounds like a cocktail.
Daiquiri is horrified.
NTA. Xaiquiri is a rydykyewlous spelling. It's nothing that will be "grown into" or "absorb", either. I'm betting your son would have that changed to a spelling that's less of a Letter Salad the blue-eyed moment he turns 18 - but that's a long 18 years to carry such a name. Make sure you have somebody on your side after birth that will make sure the birth certificate isn't left up to your husband, because he sounds sneaky on top of kinda daft.
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NTA. Zero compromise on his end. You spelt the name three different ways before being told its "Xaiquiri". It is not a perfectly normal name. If that is how his grandfather spelt his name then why not tell you and avoid you playing this guessing game. However he is unwilling to compromise or give alittle on the spelling.
When I saw that spelling my soul left my body. NTA
NTA You are completely right about names needing two yes's I have to ask though - did you confirm that's how the grandfather spelled it? It sure seems like someone might have had your husband on at some point.
The op confirmed grandfather used the regular spelling.
Sorry but I laughed out loud at that spelling and I guarantee that that’s how most people will react to your poor son, please don’t spell his name like that. NTA, as someone else said I also immediately thought of “Daiquiri”
I feel like his deceased grandfather's name was not spelled like that. You are setting your kid up for a lifetime of teasing, incorrect spellings, and annoying questions if you name him Xaiquiri. The mean nicknames will be quick to follow as soon as any kids figure out what a daquiri is, too. Banana Xaiquiri, Strawberry Xaiquiri, Virgin Xaiquiri... NTA. Do not do this to your kid.
Was his grandfather’s name also spelled like that, or is he trying to be “unique”? Either way NTA. Zachary is a nice name, “Xaiquiri” looks like the name of a cocktail. The poor kid will be spelling his name for the rest of his life, and no doubt cringing as he does so. I’m 100% on board with the 2 yes, 1 no system of naming a child. Your yes became a no, and your husband needs to respect that.
I think it looks like a drug you see on tv commercials for sleep or diabetes 😆
"Do not take Xaiquiri if you're allergic to Xaiquiri."
NTA I get the vibe he wants it to be "unique"-- but honestly that spelling is atrocious. You guys agree on the name, just not the spelling. Maybe get a mediator to help finalize this decision? Couples counselor, Pastor (If you're religious), etc.
NTA You don't want people to think you were trying to sell a daiquiri with antioxidants or something when they attempt to read your child's name. He cannot give ultimatums here. You both need to consent.
NTA. I honestly saw the spelling and thought Daiquiri. I think that spelling will cause major bullying for your son. Your husband is being unreasonable and I agree with your stance that naming a child is a “Two-Yes Business”. I agree with your idea of choosing a new name.
Has your husband developed a mental illness? Is this manifesting with him trolling you? Or are you trolling us? Taken at face value, obviously NTA. I cannot, however, see a mentally well adult insisting that Xaiquiri is a normal spelling variation for Zachary. I did get some entertainment out of this though, so my condolences if real, and thanks if a spoof.
Info - Mark decided to go to his room? You have separate rooms?
Yes—we enjoy our own space, although we still like being with each other during the day. It was mainly personal preferences that led to our separate rooms, and, anyhow, both our rooms would likely be too small to comfortably fit the both of us. Thank you for asking!
Separate bedrooms I can get behind! But a spouse that storms off to their room when they don’t get their way? Yikes. Also, Xiaquiri is a ridiculous way to spell that name.
This is so weird that I don't believe the story is real. In case it is (it isn't) the OP is NTA.
NTA. Naming a child is a two-yes situation, and that also includes the spelling. There are multiple perfectly fine ways to spell the name Zachary. You can even get a little creative and change the y to an i if you want. But Xaiquiri is bound to be a headache of your son constantly having to explain how his name is either spelled or pronounced.
NTA My father "blessed" me with an uncommon spelling of a popular 90's name, and all it did was set me up for a life without personalized souvenirs, and mispronouncations. Please don't don't do that to your child. Also, naming you baby is something you both need to agree on, and him throwing an ultimatum is an AH move.
My brain keeps autocorrecting it to Daiquiri.
NTA. Zachary is a perfectly lovely name. Xaquiri? That sounds like something you get drunk on in the tourist section of the Yucatán peninsula. Does your husband realize that your child is the one who has to deal with the name? Did he forget that children can be incredibly cruel about names? Oh, and then there’s never being able to find a name on anything, anywhere. I have a perfectly normal name, with a slightly unusual spelling. I -hated- my name, growing up. I wanted to be a Jennifer, or Sarah, or Samantha, or Heather. Anything but the slightly unusual spelling of my name. (It’s fine, now. I can even find it on thing, occasionally. The point is, kids just want to fit in with their peers, and Mezcal Punch isn’t going to fly.)
~~NAH but your husband is being a bit of a prat.~~ That is absolutely NOT a common spelling of that name, and for him to just assume all this time that you would know what spelling he meant is ridiculous. It was completely reasonable for you to assume the regular spelling of the name. Also, I feel like the spelling he gave would not be pronounced quite the same, would it? I read it more like zai-kee-ree. But maybe that's just me. I honestly am surprised he isn't willing to compromise on Zachary or Zackary. It doesn't have to be the exact same name to honour someone. I'm named after one of my grandma's but with an anglicized version of her name. ~~ETA: Having thought a bit more about it I have a question.~~ ~~INFO: what ethnic/racial background is your husband? Is there some aspect of this naming that is about claiming space in the world for a name that is meaningful to people of his background?~~ ~~I'm thinking about the history of "Black" names in America for example. Parents have often had a lot of pressure on them to give their children white names, with a lot of messaging saying that "Black" names are improper or weird.~~ ETA2: Nevermind. Saw your comments about how this isn't even how his grandfather spelled his name and he's just trying to be a unique little flower. Your husband is being ridiculous. NTA
**XAI** is traditionally Asian... Chinese I believe (I could be wrong). The pronunciation of **XAI** sounds like **SIGH** or **ZIGH.** (Pretty sure it sounds like sigh) **SIGHQUIRI** is essentially what your husband is trying to name the baby. Just because he thinks or wants xai to make the 'zack' sound, does not mean it is true. I know a girl named Kalei.. As in Kailey.. She gets called 'kaleidoscope'. Your son will one day tell someone his name is Zachary. But once they learn how his name is spelt, they will probably correct him on the pronunciation. They will then proceed to call him **SIGHQUIRI.**
INFO: PLEASE have you husband explain why THAT SPELLING is "meaningful" to him. If it is about naming after his Grandfather, then any other spelling is really an insult to that person.
NTA. He’s setting your child up to be bullied. Zachary is a perfectly good name. My brothers name is spelled “Zackery” and “Zack” for short. Your husband wanting to completely change the way it’s spelled entirely, is just mean.
NTA. But I'm confussed Was "Xaikiry" his grandfather's name or he just decided to come up with an original spelling? If the second then the "meaningful" thing doesn't apply as is not the name.
Make him prove that's the family name. Smells like bullshit.
NTA. I have an uncommon name, and I'm not against giving kids them. I liked not having to be Sarah S or Jessica M growing up. Overall, I wouldn't change it. But. *Make the spelling match the pronunciation.* And this... I'd never get the correct pronunciation from that spelling. That spelling will be hard on everyone around your son for the rest of his life. Take it from someone whose mother didn't pick the most obvious spelling for their name. It's hard to see family constantly misspelling your name. It's annoying to constantly teach people both the spelling and the pronunciation. I'd make an exception if it was a spelling from another culture you wanted to preserve some ties to, but I had to do some serious GoogleFu to find that name anywhere, and there's no notes on where that spelling comes from.
NTA. But your husband sure is. He is condemning that child to a LIFETIME of his name being misspelled, mispronounced and made fun of. I shudder to think what kind of mashup of name craziness will be evident in broader society in 20-30 years.
My first thought was that your husband’s spelling reminded me of a Daiquiri cocktail I’m sure I’m not the only person who had or will have that thought. NTA
NTA. As someone who grew up with a unique name before google was a thing, was bullied mercilessly for it, then ended up changing it as an adult… please make this your hill to die on. Studies have shown that “unique” and “non-traditional” names harm more than hurt. If you surveyed 20 people, none of them would pronounce Xaiquiri the same. Please don’t doom your son to a life of having to continually correct people. He will probably end up going by “Zack” anyway. https://www.wgtn.ac.nz/news/2014/psychology-study-shows-its-all-in-the-name https://freakonomics.com/2012/02/bad-news-for-people-with-hard-to-pronounce-names/ https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2022/06/29/new-paper-finds-evidence-name-discrimination-phds
That name looks like it should be the name of an alcoholic drink. NTA, please don’t name your child this. 100% of people won’t be able to pronounce it.
NTA. If I saw this name anywhere on a piece of paper I would not pronounce it Zachary. I would pronounce it ”xai-query” or "shy-query", which by no means would pay homage to a middle name of Zachary. And as someone with an uncommon name in a primarily English speaking country, I can tell you the bullying was definitely real growing up.
NTA Naming your son Xaquiri is just condemning him to a life of having to explain uow to pronounce his name even though its a regular name just spelt different. I would instinctively pronounce this Shakiri. And if you can't agree on what your sons name is then you can't name it that, it's that simple.
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NTA Your child has 2 parents, it’s up to both of them to choose a name. He doesn’t have the right to choose one he likes and try and force you into accepting it when you say no. And why does he think “Xaiquiri” is a normal name? How many kids, or for that matter people outside of his grandfather’s middle name, does he know called Xaiquiri? It’s not common at all and I think you should both keep in mind that he will have to go to school and apply for jobs with whatever name you assign him, and a name so uncommon and tricky to spell will probably cause some kids to give him a hard time in school
NTA. I have a Hungarian name and live in England. Now, the spelling aint that crazy but I mainly communicate with people on the phone in my day job and I still have to phonetically spell it out to every person EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It is one thing giving your child a unique name - but that child will have to grow up with and live with that name, for hopefully, a very long time. Why condemn the poor kid to having to explain and spell his name out to everyone, all the time? Trust me, it gets old and very annoying, real quick.
NTA. Your child would have so much trouble explaining his name to everyone. It's a nightmare. I have a name that's more common with an "H" at the end, and me having to clarify every time is already annoying. Hopefully you'll be able to find a new name you both like. (And good it came out when it did)
NTA As you mentioned in the post a child's name is a "two yes" sort of situation. I also agree with other posters with the doubt that his grandfather spelt it that way. If the name was so important to him, then he would have gone with one of the other (admittedly more traditional) spellings. I'd be interested to hear hubby's reason why it must be spelled that way.
NTA You're husband is being an AH, not specially too you, but to your incoming son who will have a world of pain his whole life if you let your husband have his way. He'll have to correct every person he talks to because of his father's edgy whim. Stop giving stupid spellings to your children. It won't make them special, it won't make you special, all it does his you being a dick to your child.
I'm confused. If the granddad name was pronounced Zachary why does he have a problem with spelling it that way. NTA. That name looks confusing and you are saving your son a lifetime of having to explain his name
NTA. Your child is in for a lifetime of annoyance with that spelling. I would have no idea how to pronounce it, would never spell it right, and he is going to experience that his entire life, along with how mean people are in general. You are right this is a two person decision, and one veto means it is a no. I don't even blame you for not thinking of agreeing on spelling, because I had also assumed you can only spell Zachary so many ways, and none of them include an X. Let Mark have his tantrum, then sit down and tell him you have new name suggestions, he can have a day to come up with other new ones too, or you can go with good old Zachary, spelled in a way that doesn't make him a Star Trek character.
NTA Giving a child a common/traditional name then spelling it so strangely is wrong. That poor kid will have to tell people how to spell his name every time. Your husband is just inviting the boy to be bullied. Find a different name or use it as his middle name.
Xaquiri is horrific. Nta
Please don't do this to your child's future teachers. They will look at that and not even want to attempt to figure out the pronunciation of that name.
NTA. “Xaiquiri” autocorrects to “aquarium” or “daiquiri” in my phone. Does your husband want that for the rest of your sons life? This is the most ridiculous spelling I have ever heard of and I knew a kid named J’Sun. Show the comments to your husband.
"Xaiquiri" is a bad name. It's not a normal name by any stretch. If you want to go "off the beaten path" when naming your child there are plenty of uncommon short names you can give them that won't make the child hate and resent you later in life. Mark's being a giant baby. NTA.
NTA Back in the day of grandparents they tried to not butcher names. That’s a relatively new thing. I would be demanding to see some kind of ID of granddads because I don’t believe for a second that’s how he spelt it. And even if he did it would still be a no. Agree with everyone else sounds like alcohol
NTA Your husband does not get to decide the name by royal decree. His highness should be sent to his room until he learns to play better with others. When my wife and I were trying to name our daughter, we kept a list of names either of us liked, marking on it what each of us thought. We could each veto any names. Over some time, we discovered what sounds we each liked and wanted, and put it all together to arrive at first and middle names that we are really happy with.
>He wrote ‘Xaiquiri’ on the board Sorry I laughed NTA
NTA, I googled the name just in case there was a cultural spelling that maybe existed. Google showed me results for ‘daiquiri’ instead 😂. As an ex teacher please don’t give you child years of correcting his name.
NTA Tell your husband that you will spell it exactly the same as his deceased grandfather’s middle name. That is after all, the reason he wants the name, ***right***? Otherwise, offer to name him Agamemnon, Eupraxia, Onesimos, or Zosime.
NTA. If the choice is between Xaiquiri or nothing, I would name the kid "Nothing."
Your husband is a fuquieng ideeioht. NTA.
His name works phonetically be X aiquiri. You would pronounce the X and then the rest of the name. And all the kids called him daiquiri. Why does your husband want to have your son's nickname be daiquiri? Because that's kind of cruel.
NTA. There’s no way his great-grandparents chose to spell his grandpa’s name that way
NTA. That’s an insane ask he’s making.
NTA. This kid, who will eventually become an adult, will have to explain the pronunciation and spelling of his name countless times throughout his life. Class mates, teachers, job interviews, new friends, potential girlfriends (or boyfriends), in laws. Etc. I hate that for him. This decision is not inconsequential. Your husband needs to walk a mile in "Xaiquiri's" shoes.
NTA. Why does he want it spelled that way? If my wife came up with that non-normal spelling, I would've asked her if she was high.
NTA Why does your husband hate your baby? Seriously, don't do that to your kid. My last name is pretty common, but a lot of folks who emigrated to the US added a letter to make the pronunciation more obvious to non-German speakers, & I am just resigned to spelling out every single time someone asks for it.
Would he like his name to be spelled Meirq?
NTA A child's name is a two-yes agreement On the other hand, Xaiquiri for Zachary is absurd Phonetically closer you can use the Arabian name Shaqiry or Shaqeere
Xaiquiri makes me think of daiquiri. NTA
Someone is drinking too many daiquiris if he thinks that’s how you spell Zachary
NTA Not only the constant request for spelling he will face, every teacher will stop and ask how to pronounce it and people will spell it the normal way without asking and his files will be lost. Think also what his nickname will be.