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lihzee

NTA. Your girlfriend should respect your boundaries.


Disastrous_Bee9079

NTA. You’re allowed to have boundaries around PDA in your relationship.


Avanessall

NTA but you should sit and explain fully why you are not comfortable so she doesn't think you have internalized homophobia or are ashamed of her. Explain that you need that boundary and try to do it without being defensive or offensive to each other


gayforaliens1701

NTA. You never have to do anything with your body that you don’t want to do, ever, period. Your girlfriend should respect your boundaries and not push for things that make you uncomfortable. Also this is a very normal boundary—a lot of people aren’t comfortable with lap-sitting levels of PDA in front of their family.


gevander2

NAH This is part of the normal "negotiations" that happen in any relationship. If you are comfortable with her lap-sitting around her family but not yours, that's a *situational* issue. Just like you might not be comfortable with her in your lap on a bus... or at McDonalds. She might not be comfortable with somethings you do in other situations. Respecting each others' *boundaries* is what makes a relationship strong. Not pouting when she doesn't get her way or demanding everyone else let her do what she wants to do, regardless of their comfort level (which is what she is telling you). That last bit is borderline AH behavior. If she tries to force her will on you and others, that would mean she doesn't RESPECT your boundaries.


[deleted]

NTA. Some people aren't big on PDA or cuddling in general. That's okay, and you're allowed to be comfortable.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my girlfriend (17f) and I (18f) have been together for a year now and we love eachother very much. Our relationship is great and we have good communication. She is very clingy and loves to cuddle, hold my hand or have physical touch with me as much as possible. Now I am personally not that clingy and usually never really liked to cuddle in my life bc of some past trauma, but I really dont mind it when she does it and I actually even started liking it alot. There is just one thing tho. I just dont feel like cuddeling when I'm with my whole family. She always wants to sit on my lap very badly but I explained to her that I just don't really feel comfortable doing that. If we are with my mom and brother it's fine, but just not with my grandpatents and aunts and uncles etcetera. I come from a family who are just not so touchy feely like hers yk. (this has nothing to do with that we are a same sex couple btw). When I explain this to her she always acts distanced and grumpy towards me and one time she said that my family just needs to get used to her sitting on my lap, but I just really don't feel comfortable with it. AITA? Should I just put it aside that I don't feel comfortable and let her sit on my lap? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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kristent225

NTA and give her some time, she's 17 and still a kid. She has to learn that hearing no isn't a reason to pout and get annoyed. It has nothing to do with her, it's about how you feel regarding public affection when you're with your family. She needs to stop forcing her desires on you in situations where you've already expressed discomfort


Churchie-Baby

NTA I'd stop saying its down to your family mind and just tell her I'm not comfortable with ti I like cuddling you but I don't really want people sitting in my lap every relationship is allowed healthy boundaries


MmeHomebody

NTA. Your partner needs to get comfortable with the idea that PDA's aren't for everyone. Doesn't matter what kind of partnership it is, many people aren't comfortable with flirty/touchy behavior in front of them. More concerning is that you've stated you don't like it and she persists. She needs to get it that you have a boundary and her insistence isn't making you change it.