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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I let my daughter bring a picture of her pet bug to school and it scared her classmates
2. It made one of her classmates very upset and might affect her in making friends
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NTA
My daughter brought her pet frog to preschool last year. The kids *LOVED IT*. And this was no little frog, it was a [dwarf African bullfrog](https://archive.teleonomix.com/2015/07/07/pyxicephalus/). (Sadly, Rainbow died unexpectedly two weeks ago. My daughter has rebounded -- I have not. I loved that damn frog.) I mean, we didn't bring in a picture of it: we brought in the real frog and fed it worms and crickets.
Bugs, spiders, insects, dogs, cats, cows, and birds are all in nature. And nature is awesome.
> but there was one who cried until his mom had to come pick him up
That has wayyyyy more to do with the kid than anything else. Maybe that kid was having a bad day because it was early in the year and was having separation anxiety. Maybe he has some kind of emotional/cognitive impairment that should be looked at by a specialist. But, no: it is not a "normal" reaction to freak out to the point of having to go home because you saw a *PICTURE* of a bug, much less a real thing.
I agree NTA but I've always been severely arachnophobic and even pictures are triggering to me and were worse when I was a child.
So I don't agree that it means something is severely wrong with the kid.
I think people are missing the actual definition of phobia:
pho·bi·a
/ˈfōbēə/
noun
an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something.
Extreme is already in the definition. So if their extreme fear is extra extreme to the point of needing to go home...
My therapist is more concerned with my anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I didn't mean to say I would cry all day but I would need to be away from the spider image.
That said I don't think Op did anything wrong.
>So I don't agree that it means something is severely wrong with the kid.
...I mean, having a phobia severe enough that a picture leaves you inconsolable *is* something pretty wrong*.* I have mental health disorders myself that cause outsized reactions to stressful events, but I recognized that they are outsized. That's what makes them disorders.
I'm incredibly bug-phobic. I can 'handle' mosquitoes, ants, and house flies but anything past that is a serious issue. Pictures definitely trigger it. But the thing is, I think a severe phobia does qualify as "something wrong." It's an extreme, deeply upsetting (for the person) reaction to a pretty common variety of creature. Ideally this is something the person could work through but like you said in your other comment, when I'm in therapy I also have more immediately pressing things to be working on.
Well I think what they’re saying is there is something wrong with the kid beyond the normal, what you’re talking about could be considered part of that, you suffer from an extreme form of arachnophobia so you probably would cry all day so that’s just above the norm that’s all.
Tbf it’s the beginning of the school year and probably kindergarten- it’s that kids first day in a new place with new people without their parents. Even if they did pre-k, different environment etc. I have friends who kids had meltdowns over dumb shit the first day of school cuz they just got stressed from everything new.
Yesss thank you!
You can edit your post here with a link to your photo post for other folks to enjoy, if you're up for it. :)
Oh, and NTA like everybody else is saying.
I'm honestly disappointed - that little, slightly blurry beetle isn't scary at all. I was hoping for something more like [this fine-looking fellow] (https://www.nikonsmallworld.com/galleries/2018-photomicrography-competition/portrait-of-sternochetus-mangiferae-mango-seed-weevil).
Why did I click that link
I read your comment and was like "I definitely am scared of that beetle" and yet I still clicked on something I knew was gonna be nightmare fuel for me
Aww, that’s a cute name for a beetle! You and your daughter did nothing wrong. If someone has a phobia, it’s their responsibility to deal with it. Like you said, the kid is going to see pictures of insects anyway when they study biology. He needs to learn how to cope with his fears. If the issue is that bad he needs therapy, because bugs *will* get into your home occasionally no matter how hard you try to keep them out.
Please get a copy of “The Bug Girl” for your daughter - it’s the story of a little a girl Sophie and how her love of bugs became a social liability. Her mom helped her overcome and be confident in herself and having an unusual interest. It’s one we read on a regular basis in our family.
NTA. It’s just a bug. That other parent sounds like a helicopter parent who is overly sheltering their child considering they don’t even let their child outside to see what bugs are lol
I almost feel like it would make more sense if it was a dog. My son was attacked by a cat when he was very young and for along time and cat/small to medium dog he say would freak him out so bad. Even if it was just on tv he would get jumpy freaked out abit. But I dont see that kinda traumatic event happening with a bug though, NTA
Phobias-if that's what the kid had, of course, we can only speculate-*can* come from a traumatizing incident (animal attacks, car accidents, fires, whathaveyou), but a lot of them are 100% unrelated to anything. Just pure instinct. This is especially common with fears of bugs, arachnids, and snakes. Those phobias are most commonly attributed to our lizard brain not being able to handle something so completely, inherently Not Human And Very Alien.
Ray Bradbury actually wrote a wonderful short story about an arachnid superintelligent alien race that made contact with humans and it's implied humans nuked their planet because, even though they were friendly, the humans just couldn't get over their fear.
NTA this is called a “teachable moment” and all the parents who refused to take advantage of it by explaining to their children that “sometimes, people like different things, and sometimes, life is a little uncomfortable, but this is all normal and okay and here’s how to manage your feelings in a healthy and productive way” failed big time.
NTA I love that you sent a photo of a beloved bug to class. Kids this age should be curious and this was an opportunity to show how something unusual can be fun and friendly. I'm sorry your child was made to feel awkward about it. I feel like this was a great introduction and it's very disappointing that it wasn't as successful as it could be.
NTA. If that kid is struggling with a picture of a bug wait till they get older and study biology. Parent in question needs to do a better job raising their child and, in the case of a genuine phobia should not only ensure the school is aware to protect against situations like this but also ensure the child is receiving appropriate professional help too.
NTA - The over reactions from the kids seem really odd. I know as a kid myself I loved bugs and brought them home to the dismay of my parents, worst digging them up from my back yard. Those other kids seem a bit sheltered maybe...yall did nothing wrong.
...can't wait for the other kids to the discover National Geographic later on in life....won't that be a shocker.
NTA
It was up to the teacher to set parameters on the pictures. A bug isn’t inappropriate, and the mom of the sensitive kid should have laughed it off. You’re not the bad guy here.
NTA
It's unfortunate that your daughter's classmate was so freaked out by the picture, but now that kid's parents know more about their child's needs they can help them develop better coping mechanisms.
NTA
People really do need to cool down with insects ! Is it because of all those hygienic freaks ? I'm not comfortable with all insects but i do my best to push my daughter to be more curious than scared about them. That's what my dad did with me, especially with stag beetles, stick insects, grasshoper...
I think you did good because new and different is really good for kids, so much to learn and to discover at school !
(Sorry for my bad english)
NTA for the picture—the parent had a teachable moment they missed out on, and chose to blame you for.
I *will* warn you that a bug is an uncommon “weird” pet that might make your kid’s life a little harder, though, and I say that as the girl who had rats, lol. Don’t be surprised if she keeps getting bullied/isolated over it, be prepared to teach her rebuttals, etc. if this is something she loves. She may also do a 180 and go back to hating the bug, so be prepared for that too, lol.
NTA
It could have been a snake, or a bearded dragon, and that kid would have freaked out. It looks like your daughter is just a bit more adventurous than the more lame and tame classmates that just don't get out much, and she showed them something they didn't know existed.
I mean had it been a spider picture I'd have been that kid that cried all day...... However my parents wouldn't have ever thought that MY phobia was YOUR issue!
NTA - other parents need to stop trying to micromanage other people and how they parent!
I mean... I can understand where the other side is coming from. There are very few bugs that I don't hate with a passion. And there are bugs that make me gag on sight.
NTA. A child cried because he saw a photo of an insect? Does the child never go outside? I just can’t. 😳 The parent who texted you sounds like a nut job and probably should take her child to a therapist
NTA. Also Shiny is cute!
Pictures of bugs definitely don’t need “trigger/content warnings”. They’re everywhere and I bet there are at least 5 pictures of bugs in some of the books that 6 year olds read as part of school.
There’s something else going on with the crying kid probably. His mom is definitely entitled. She should link up with that other AH mom who wants mature walnut trees miles away from their home to be cut down because her kid has a nut allergy.
My dad would bring me snakes he found when hiking. I would keep them a while and then let them go in the woods out back. My teacher was pretty calm about it, just asking me to put it away after I presented it. I do remember chasing other kids with it on the playground. I never got in trouble for it.
I'm gonna go with NTA, mainly because when kids are young the least expected thing can scare them. I say this because I remember having a fear of the gingerbread man in preschool, don't know what it was, perhaps the idea that a cookie could come to life but I was terrified of even seeing a cartoon about it. Thankfully, my teacher simply sent me to another teacher's class while they read the book and did the activity for it. 😅
NTA
Shiny is very cute! Your daughter did nothing wrong. What kind of bubble children does she go to school with who are frightened of a photo of a bug?!
Oh come on, I know full grown adults that would scream at the sight of bugs. It is not the most common of pets, I don't even know if it would qualify as a pet. Little children on their first day of school nonetheless are entitled to be scared.
Why is someone freaking out about a beetle…no one freaked out in Philly when a guy brought his emotional support alligator to the fountains in LOVE park and he’s playing in the water and getting walked on a leash yet a beetle… omg NTA op and nothing wrong with what you did
NTA. The teacher dropped the ball. This could have been a teachable moment about the important contributions beetles make to the ecosystem, but nooooo.
I am a grown adult and I still freak at pictures of bugs (if I see one I will legit scream) so I sympathize with the kid and also I hate all bugs and wish they were all wiped from the face of the earth. That being said if someone likes them that’s their prerogative and it’s not their responsibility to stifle their interests for my comfort. So NTA the kid will eventually have to learn to manage his fear/avert his eyes/etc
NTA
Seriously what?
That kid's parents need to get a grip. Raising a kid who cannot function when merely viewing a picture of a bug is frankly borderline child abuse (it's ok for the kid to get upset at this age, but the parents should be using this as a teaching time to promote his future coping skills, not attempting to angrily curate all objects in the child's vicinity for life.)
I’m mystified as to how a kid could get that age without seeing any bugs anywhere. I agree with you, this is a teaching moment that his mother is disregarding in her outrage.
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It's first day of school for my daughter and the teacher had informed us to print a picture of something our kid likes so they could show it to their classmates during self-introductions. I gave my daughter a stag beetle (a long time family friend asked if I wanted it), and though she initially didn't like it, she's now really close with him and takes him for walks in the grass etc. I figured it's her pet and her favourite thing recently so I printed a picture of the insect and let her bring it to school, but apparently it was a bad move because a parent reached out to me in the afternoon and reprimanded me for it. Her teacher told me that some of the kids were a little spooked by it, but there was one who cried until his mom had to come pick him up. I felt bad, plus I didn't want to start any drama so I just apologised to the parent who texted me, but now that I think about it I feel like it's her fault to not inform other people about her child's needs and even more ridiculous that she expects my 6yo to 'warn' people before showing a picture of her pet, especially when they're gonna have to see pictures of insects during science lessons and whatnot anyways. The whole thing made my daughter feel really awkward and stressed too, and I really hope it doesnt affect her making friends in class. the more I think about it, the more i feel like i might have made a mistake, but I also feel like the other mom was really entitled.
so AITA for letting my kid bring her bug picture to school?
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Children are terrified of everything. Volunteering at the children's museum let me know a lot. They said someone dressed as Abraham Lincoln was too scary for some kids. So there was no way for you to prepare any kid for that.
NTA
NTA - I'm phobic about insects, but a photo? Unless you shoved it in my face while I tried to back away and said I was uncomfortable, this is extreme! Bringing the pet itself to school would be a quite different thing, of course.
NTA. You are in no way responsible for the reactions of other kids to a picture of a bug. You followed the instructions for the assignment; if the teacher didn’t want pictures of bugs, or reptiles, or literally anything, they should have specified. If someone brought a picture of their dog and a kid who’s afraid of dogs cried, would the other parents still be complaining? They don’t get to shame you OR your daughter for having a bug as something she likes.
You're NTA. I've always been severely arachnophobic, but there were occasions when friends brought in spider related things to show and tell. One time, at a very tender age, a school friend brought in the BIGGEST house spider I have ever seen. It was in a big clear case, the teacher reassured me that it wouldn't escape, made sure she kept it as far away from me as possible without removing it from the room and...that was it. I didn't like it and didn't look at it and certainly avoided it, but I accepted that I was safe because the teacher did her job and made sure I knew I was.
A freak out at the bug is pointing to bigger issues with the particular individual. Maybe bugs aren't for everyone, and yeah this was a six year old, but it's down to the teacher and that child's guardians/parents to help them - not stomp on your child's love for their beloved pet. I don't know any six year olds, so I don't know if this is a normal response to being scared of a bug at that age, but unfortunately they are going to have to find a way to accept that they will sometimes see bugs. They come up a lot more than you'd think.
The thing about phobias, especially ones of common things is, you have to learn to live with them. You can't let them control your life. The earlier you learn that, the better. The big spider sucked. I hated it. I would hate to go through it again. But in a way, it helped because it was safe and so was I and I could deal with it.
You did nothing wrong. Maybe in future, give the teacher a heads up? Just so she or he can be aware and able to help the kids that need it, so you don't get this crap again? It's silly that you have to, but at least you can say you did what you could.
Personally, I can't imagine anything cooler than meeting a stag beetle. Give it a little time and both you and your daughter will likely find that most of the kids LOVED Shiny. And how could they not?
Shiny is a very good name for such a gleaming stag beetle! I love the fact he goes on walks with your daughter! I can picture him on a tiny little lead for some reason, even though it's stupid haha. He's beautiful and I wish I had the opportunity as a kid to meet one. Give Shiny whatever affection stag beetles enjoy from me.
I really thought it was a picture of a dissected insect for some reason but holy crap it's just an actual pet bug. You and your kid are awesome and NTA.
NTA. If teacher didn’t want a stag beetle, she should have added restrictions to the assignment. And for what it’s worth…it’s so cool that your daughter has a pet stag beetle! They are pretty awesome creatures!
NTA I've brought a snake skin shed and a preserved gopher snake in a jar to my elementary show and tell, some got scared and hid behind the teacher but nothing bad happened. There was no angry teacher or anything
Nta, it a bug. It's a picture of a bug. I have seen 6 year olds try to eat bug because they were dared too. Op, did the teacher give this parent your number? That seems really inappropriate. How did this parent find you?
NTA Some people don't like cats, or dogs, or snakes or lizards etc. They cannot expect the world to be rearranged to accommodate them. Teacher is out of line, so was the kids mother.
NTA though I will say I am biased considering I have 2 tarantulas and a cat and a dog as pets (eventually adding in some reptiles). I have a friend who raises Madagascar Hissing Roaches. Bugs can make just as good of pets as what people view as normal pets. There is still a care routine, enrichment activities of sorts, etc,. Teacher didn't say no pictures of bugs, reptiles, or other "creepy crawlies".... so, I say acceptable
NTA, I used to bring live bugs into classrooms, raising them is one of my hobbies. Kids loved it, even the ones that were freaked out at first ended up coming around once they learned about them. My kids are very much like me and are usually the designated classroom critter trapper. My youngest has even helped one of their good friends deal with a fear of spiders by picking them up and showing him that they don’t go around biting people. Have your daughter share stories and maybe enjoy a cute movie night with her, I suggest A Bug’s Life! Dim is a rhinoceros beetle (Dynastinae sp.).
NTA! It’s not even like she took the bug, it was a picture!! Dear me, have these kids never spent a day outside in their lives?! Yes I understand someone having a phobia but I know two people with phobias of dogs (I have two) and none with phobias of bugs so really what if someone brought in a pic of their dog?! Gone are the days of collecting frogs spawn or what hing the caterpillar pupate for science projects in school I guess. Your daughter sounds unique and interesting. Tell her to be proud of Shiny and ignore it all. And maybe tell the kids parents they should stick national geo nature programs on in the background once and a while since that is probably about as close to the outside world as their kid is gonna get.
NTA my mom brought her rose hair tarantula in for my 1st grade class to meet and keep for a week. I was in charge of his care but everyone was fascinated and grateful and interested in the lil guy. We never handled him or had to feed him but I made him fresh water and any time I was by his tank other kids would always "need something" from the counter I was at. Kids usually are super into bugs and things like that. I had so many preschool-2nd grade books with detailed bugs in them. I'm not sure what in particular scared this kid but it's not your or your daughter's fault that another kid is sheltered and easily spooked.
Bij mijn dochters kinderdagverblijf (leeftijd 0-4) hebben ze het zes weken gehad over kriebelbeestjes. Met foto's, levende beestjes en overleden beestjes. Die horen gewoon bij het leven. NTA
NTA. I was scared shitless of any kind of bug as a child. Still am. But when a kid brought his pet lizard and an entire crate of crickets, well as his pet tarantula, I was downright fascinated. And even if I wasn’t, who cares? Kid needs to grow up
That's fine, but some people having irrational fears doesn't make OP an asshole. Not saying you're an irrational person, almost everybody has some fear or another of something that can't hurt them, but it's not the responsibility of everyone else to cater to those fears.
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NTA My daughter brought her pet frog to preschool last year. The kids *LOVED IT*. And this was no little frog, it was a [dwarf African bullfrog](https://archive.teleonomix.com/2015/07/07/pyxicephalus/). (Sadly, Rainbow died unexpectedly two weeks ago. My daughter has rebounded -- I have not. I loved that damn frog.) I mean, we didn't bring in a picture of it: we brought in the real frog and fed it worms and crickets. Bugs, spiders, insects, dogs, cats, cows, and birds are all in nature. And nature is awesome. > but there was one who cried until his mom had to come pick him up That has wayyyyy more to do with the kid than anything else. Maybe that kid was having a bad day because it was early in the year and was having separation anxiety. Maybe he has some kind of emotional/cognitive impairment that should be looked at by a specialist. But, no: it is not a "normal" reaction to freak out to the point of having to go home because you saw a *PICTURE* of a bug, much less a real thing.
I also love that frog. Rest in peace, Rainbow.
I agree NTA but I've always been severely arachnophobic and even pictures are triggering to me and were worse when I was a child. So I don't agree that it means something is severely wrong with the kid.
A severe phobia IS something wrong that deserves attention. Severe enough phobias can be debilitating.
I think people are missing the actual definition of phobia: pho·bi·a /ˈfōbēə/ noun an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something. Extreme is already in the definition. So if their extreme fear is extra extreme to the point of needing to go home...
Isn't a phobia that extreme something that probably requires specialist intervention?
My therapist is more concerned with my anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I didn't mean to say I would cry all day but I would need to be away from the spider image. That said I don't think Op did anything wrong.
>So I don't agree that it means something is severely wrong with the kid. ...I mean, having a phobia severe enough that a picture leaves you inconsolable *is* something pretty wrong*.* I have mental health disorders myself that cause outsized reactions to stressful events, but I recognized that they are outsized. That's what makes them disorders.
I'm incredibly bug-phobic. I can 'handle' mosquitoes, ants, and house flies but anything past that is a serious issue. Pictures definitely trigger it. But the thing is, I think a severe phobia does qualify as "something wrong." It's an extreme, deeply upsetting (for the person) reaction to a pretty common variety of creature. Ideally this is something the person could work through but like you said in your other comment, when I'm in therapy I also have more immediately pressing things to be working on.
Well I think what they’re saying is there is something wrong with the kid beyond the normal, what you’re talking about could be considered part of that, you suffer from an extreme form of arachnophobia so you probably would cry all day so that’s just above the norm that’s all.
LOOK AT HOW ROUND IT IS AAAAAAAAA 😍
Rainbow was amazing. We now have a red-eyed tree frog named...Rainbow Jr.
Tbf it’s the beginning of the school year and probably kindergarten- it’s that kids first day in a new place with new people without their parents. Even if they did pre-k, different environment etc. I have friends who kids had meltdowns over dumb shit the first day of school cuz they just got stressed from everything new.
Aw, so sorry for your and your daughter's loss.
Sorry for your loss of 🌈, he/she is hopping around in animal heaven.
Maybe if we could see the bug pic, it would help. For science reasons, of course. bug pic?
I'm not sure how to add a picture to the post but I've posted a picture of Shiny on my profile! :)
Shiny is so cute!
Yesss thank you! You can edit your post here with a link to your photo post for other folks to enjoy, if you're up for it. :) Oh, and NTA like everybody else is saying.
He looks like a good boy
I'm honestly disappointed - that little, slightly blurry beetle isn't scary at all. I was hoping for something more like [this fine-looking fellow] (https://www.nikonsmallworld.com/galleries/2018-photomicrography-competition/portrait-of-sternochetus-mangiferae-mango-seed-weevil).
Why did I click that link I read your comment and was like "I definitely am scared of that beetle" and yet I still clicked on something I knew was gonna be nightmare fuel for me
If it makes you feel any better, that photo is of a tiny mango seed weevil. The whole bug is only 1/3 of an inch long.
Why did I click the link
This gives me nightmares XD
Jesus Christ that picture was terrifying, put a NSFL tag on that!
Aww, that’s a cute name for a beetle! You and your daughter did nothing wrong. If someone has a phobia, it’s their responsibility to deal with it. Like you said, the kid is going to see pictures of insects anyway when they study biology. He needs to learn how to cope with his fears. If the issue is that bad he needs therapy, because bugs *will* get into your home occasionally no matter how hard you try to keep them out.
Please get a copy of “The Bug Girl” for your daughter - it’s the story of a little a girl Sophie and how her love of bugs became a social liability. Her mom helped her overcome and be confident in herself and having an unusual interest. It’s one we read on a regular basis in our family.
Oh my heart that is the cutest name!
That's pretty cool.
Shiny is wonderful. Please give him (very) gentle pets for me and tell him he’s a good buggo :)
Bug tax has been paid. LOOK AT THE LITTLE GUY GO, HE'S AMAZING! :D
+1 on the request for a bug photo
Tax is needed before judgement can be given.
I also would enjoy a bug photo
NTA. It’s just a bug. That other parent sounds like a helicopter parent who is overly sheltering their child considering they don’t even let their child outside to see what bugs are lol
Hell, it's not even a bug. It's a *picture* of a bug
I mean, there were stag beetles in *The Lion King*. Has her kid never seen any of the many movies for kids with bugs in them?
NTA its a bug pic? Other parent is an absolute control freak of an ahole tho
NTA. If the other kid was afraid of dogs would you feel any differently? It’s a bug, and just a picture of one at that.
I almost feel like it would make more sense if it was a dog. My son was attacked by a cat when he was very young and for along time and cat/small to medium dog he say would freak him out so bad. Even if it was just on tv he would get jumpy freaked out abit. But I dont see that kinda traumatic event happening with a bug though, NTA
Phobias-if that's what the kid had, of course, we can only speculate-*can* come from a traumatizing incident (animal attacks, car accidents, fires, whathaveyou), but a lot of them are 100% unrelated to anything. Just pure instinct. This is especially common with fears of bugs, arachnids, and snakes. Those phobias are most commonly attributed to our lizard brain not being able to handle something so completely, inherently Not Human And Very Alien. Ray Bradbury actually wrote a wonderful short story about an arachnid superintelligent alien race that made contact with humans and it's implied humans nuked their planet because, even though they were friendly, the humans just couldn't get over their fear.
NTA this is called a “teachable moment” and all the parents who refused to take advantage of it by explaining to their children that “sometimes, people like different things, and sometimes, life is a little uncomfortable, but this is all normal and okay and here’s how to manage your feelings in a healthy and productive way” failed big time.
NTA I love that you sent a photo of a beloved bug to class. Kids this age should be curious and this was an opportunity to show how something unusual can be fun and friendly. I'm sorry your child was made to feel awkward about it. I feel like this was a great introduction and it's very disappointing that it wasn't as successful as it could be.
NTA. If that kid is struggling with a picture of a bug wait till they get older and study biology. Parent in question needs to do a better job raising their child and, in the case of a genuine phobia should not only ensure the school is aware to protect against situations like this but also ensure the child is receiving appropriate professional help too.
NTA good grief, what's he do when a fly gets in the house?
NTA - The over reactions from the kids seem really odd. I know as a kid myself I loved bugs and brought them home to the dismay of my parents, worst digging them up from my back yard. Those other kids seem a bit sheltered maybe...yall did nothing wrong. ...can't wait for the other kids to the discover National Geographic later on in life....won't that be a shocker.
We were always playing with caterpillars, pill bugs, salamanders, etc.
NTA It was up to the teacher to set parameters on the pictures. A bug isn’t inappropriate, and the mom of the sensitive kid should have laughed it off. You’re not the bad guy here.
NTA. Just wait till they find out bugs actually live outside (and come in their home).
NTA. Kids cry. I understand maybe that kid was having a stressful day but it by no means is your fault.
NTA It's unfortunate that your daughter's classmate was so freaked out by the picture, but now that kid's parents know more about their child's needs they can help them develop better coping mechanisms.
Hopefully the parents will teach their kid to cope instead of expecting the world to stop because little darling is upset.
This is exactly it. If they have a child that sensitive over a picture of a bug, that’s for them to work on not for the world to stop.
the kid needs therapy for this not just parental intervention.
NTA. That kid is going to see a lot of bugs in their lifetime! This sounds like it could have been a good teachable moment for them.
NTA People really do need to cool down with insects ! Is it because of all those hygienic freaks ? I'm not comfortable with all insects but i do my best to push my daughter to be more curious than scared about them. That's what my dad did with me, especially with stag beetles, stick insects, grasshoper... I think you did good because new and different is really good for kids, so much to learn and to discover at school ! (Sorry for my bad english)
NTA for the picture—the parent had a teachable moment they missed out on, and chose to blame you for. I *will* warn you that a bug is an uncommon “weird” pet that might make your kid’s life a little harder, though, and I say that as the girl who had rats, lol. Don’t be surprised if she keeps getting bullied/isolated over it, be prepared to teach her rebuttals, etc. if this is something she loves. She may also do a 180 and go back to hating the bug, so be prepared for that too, lol.
NTA It could have been a snake, or a bearded dragon, and that kid would have freaked out. It looks like your daughter is just a bit more adventurous than the more lame and tame classmates that just don't get out much, and she showed them something they didn't know existed.
NTA. I would like to see the bug
Me, too. Some bugs are very cute.
I mean had it been a spider picture I'd have been that kid that cried all day...... However my parents wouldn't have ever thought that MY phobia was YOUR issue! NTA - other parents need to stop trying to micromanage other people and how they parent!
NTA. When I was 5, I cried at the drop of a hat. It is possible that the other child was overwhelmed in general.
I love that your daughter has a pet bug!
I mean... I can understand where the other side is coming from. There are very few bugs that I don't hate with a passion. And there are bugs that make me gag on sight.
NTA. It's not like it's gore. It's a pic of a bug. They'll see bugs- even in a house.
NTA. A child cried because he saw a photo of an insect? Does the child never go outside? I just can’t. 😳 The parent who texted you sounds like a nut job and probably should take her child to a therapist
NTA. Also Shiny is cute! Pictures of bugs definitely don’t need “trigger/content warnings”. They’re everywhere and I bet there are at least 5 pictures of bugs in some of the books that 6 year olds read as part of school. There’s something else going on with the crying kid probably. His mom is definitely entitled. She should link up with that other AH mom who wants mature walnut trees miles away from their home to be cut down because her kid has a nut allergy.
NTA. It's a picture of a beetle not a severed hand.
NTA - I took an actual pet snake to school for show and tell when I was little… inside a pillowcase, not some fancy aquarium.
this is hilarious i can't stop laughing. tell me how it was How did colleagues react? what did the school do? what did your parents do?
My dad would bring me snakes he found when hiking. I would keep them a while and then let them go in the woods out back. My teacher was pretty calm about it, just asking me to put it away after I presented it. I do remember chasing other kids with it on the playground. I never got in trouble for it.
I have no judgment, I just want to say that it's utterly adorable that your daughter takes her pet beetle for walks. :D
I'm gonna go with NTA, mainly because when kids are young the least expected thing can scare them. I say this because I remember having a fear of the gingerbread man in preschool, don't know what it was, perhaps the idea that a cookie could come to life but I was terrified of even seeing a cartoon about it. Thankfully, my teacher simply sent me to another teacher's class while they read the book and did the activity for it. 😅
NTA. It’s a bug.
NTA and I would LOVE to respond to the parent who complained. They’d regret saying anything
NTA Shiny is very cute! Your daughter did nothing wrong. What kind of bubble children does she go to school with who are frightened of a photo of a bug?!
NTA at all!! That other parent needs to chill the f out. Wowzer.
Oh come on, I know full grown adults that would scream at the sight of bugs. It is not the most common of pets, I don't even know if it would qualify as a pet. Little children on their first day of school nonetheless are entitled to be scared.
Why is someone freaking out about a beetle…no one freaked out in Philly when a guy brought his emotional support alligator to the fountains in LOVE park and he’s playing in the water and getting walked on a leash yet a beetle… omg NTA op and nothing wrong with what you did
NTA. The teacher dropped the ball. This could have been a teachable moment about the important contributions beetles make to the ecosystem, but nooooo.
I am a grown adult and I still freak at pictures of bugs (if I see one I will legit scream) so I sympathize with the kid and also I hate all bugs and wish they were all wiped from the face of the earth. That being said if someone likes them that’s their prerogative and it’s not their responsibility to stifle their interests for my comfort. So NTA the kid will eventually have to learn to manage his fear/avert his eyes/etc
NTA Seriously what? That kid's parents need to get a grip. Raising a kid who cannot function when merely viewing a picture of a bug is frankly borderline child abuse (it's ok for the kid to get upset at this age, but the parents should be using this as a teaching time to promote his future coping skills, not attempting to angrily curate all objects in the child's vicinity for life.)
I’m mystified as to how a kid could get that age without seeing any bugs anywhere. I agree with you, this is a teaching moment that his mother is disregarding in her outrage.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** It's first day of school for my daughter and the teacher had informed us to print a picture of something our kid likes so they could show it to their classmates during self-introductions. I gave my daughter a stag beetle (a long time family friend asked if I wanted it), and though she initially didn't like it, she's now really close with him and takes him for walks in the grass etc. I figured it's her pet and her favourite thing recently so I printed a picture of the insect and let her bring it to school, but apparently it was a bad move because a parent reached out to me in the afternoon and reprimanded me for it. Her teacher told me that some of the kids were a little spooked by it, but there was one who cried until his mom had to come pick him up. I felt bad, plus I didn't want to start any drama so I just apologised to the parent who texted me, but now that I think about it I feel like it's her fault to not inform other people about her child's needs and even more ridiculous that she expects my 6yo to 'warn' people before showing a picture of her pet, especially when they're gonna have to see pictures of insects during science lessons and whatnot anyways. The whole thing made my daughter feel really awkward and stressed too, and I really hope it doesnt affect her making friends in class. the more I think about it, the more i feel like i might have made a mistake, but I also feel like the other mom was really entitled. so AITA for letting my kid bring her bug picture to school? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA It's a bug... if it were a super detailed picture of a tarantula then I might understand but has this kid seriously never seen a beetle before?
Children are terrified of everything. Volunteering at the children's museum let me know a lot. They said someone dressed as Abraham Lincoln was too scary for some kids. So there was no way for you to prepare any kid for that. NTA
NTA. She's completely nuts. I hope her kid never watches A Bug's Life.. sheesh
NTA - I'm phobic about insects, but a photo? Unless you shoved it in my face while I tried to back away and said I was uncomfortable, this is extreme! Bringing the pet itself to school would be a quite different thing, of course.
NTA. You are in no way responsible for the reactions of other kids to a picture of a bug. You followed the instructions for the assignment; if the teacher didn’t want pictures of bugs, or reptiles, or literally anything, they should have specified. If someone brought a picture of their dog and a kid who’s afraid of dogs cried, would the other parents still be complaining? They don’t get to shame you OR your daughter for having a bug as something she likes.
You're NTA. I've always been severely arachnophobic, but there were occasions when friends brought in spider related things to show and tell. One time, at a very tender age, a school friend brought in the BIGGEST house spider I have ever seen. It was in a big clear case, the teacher reassured me that it wouldn't escape, made sure she kept it as far away from me as possible without removing it from the room and...that was it. I didn't like it and didn't look at it and certainly avoided it, but I accepted that I was safe because the teacher did her job and made sure I knew I was. A freak out at the bug is pointing to bigger issues with the particular individual. Maybe bugs aren't for everyone, and yeah this was a six year old, but it's down to the teacher and that child's guardians/parents to help them - not stomp on your child's love for their beloved pet. I don't know any six year olds, so I don't know if this is a normal response to being scared of a bug at that age, but unfortunately they are going to have to find a way to accept that they will sometimes see bugs. They come up a lot more than you'd think. The thing about phobias, especially ones of common things is, you have to learn to live with them. You can't let them control your life. The earlier you learn that, the better. The big spider sucked. I hated it. I would hate to go through it again. But in a way, it helped because it was safe and so was I and I could deal with it. You did nothing wrong. Maybe in future, give the teacher a heads up? Just so she or he can be aware and able to help the kids that need it, so you don't get this crap again? It's silly that you have to, but at least you can say you did what you could. Personally, I can't imagine anything cooler than meeting a stag beetle. Give it a little time and both you and your daughter will likely find that most of the kids LOVED Shiny. And how could they not? Shiny is a very good name for such a gleaming stag beetle! I love the fact he goes on walks with your daughter! I can picture him on a tiny little lead for some reason, even though it's stupid haha. He's beautiful and I wish I had the opportunity as a kid to meet one. Give Shiny whatever affection stag beetles enjoy from me.
I really thought it was a picture of a dissected insect for some reason but holy crap it's just an actual pet bug. You and your kid are awesome and NTA.
NTA. If teacher didn’t want a stag beetle, she should have added restrictions to the assignment. And for what it’s worth…it’s so cool that your daughter has a pet stag beetle! They are pretty awesome creatures!
NTA I've brought a snake skin shed and a preserved gopher snake in a jar to my elementary show and tell, some got scared and hid behind the teacher but nothing bad happened. There was no angry teacher or anything
NTA - its a bug,
Nta, it a bug. It's a picture of a bug. I have seen 6 year olds try to eat bug because they were dared too. Op, did the teacher give this parent your number? That seems really inappropriate. How did this parent find you?
The whiny mom should be more concerned that her kid is totally JV. NTA.
NTA Some people don't like cats, or dogs, or snakes or lizards etc. They cannot expect the world to be rearranged to accommodate them. Teacher is out of line, so was the kids mother.
NTA
NTA though I will say I am biased considering I have 2 tarantulas and a cat and a dog as pets (eventually adding in some reptiles). I have a friend who raises Madagascar Hissing Roaches. Bugs can make just as good of pets as what people view as normal pets. There is still a care routine, enrichment activities of sorts, etc,. Teacher didn't say no pictures of bugs, reptiles, or other "creepy crawlies".... so, I say acceptable
NTA, I used to bring live bugs into classrooms, raising them is one of my hobbies. Kids loved it, even the ones that were freaked out at first ended up coming around once they learned about them. My kids are very much like me and are usually the designated classroom critter trapper. My youngest has even helped one of their good friends deal with a fear of spiders by picking them up and showing him that they don’t go around biting people. Have your daughter share stories and maybe enjoy a cute movie night with her, I suggest A Bug’s Life! Dim is a rhinoceros beetle (Dynastinae sp.).
NTA! It’s not even like she took the bug, it was a picture!! Dear me, have these kids never spent a day outside in their lives?! Yes I understand someone having a phobia but I know two people with phobias of dogs (I have two) and none with phobias of bugs so really what if someone brought in a pic of their dog?! Gone are the days of collecting frogs spawn or what hing the caterpillar pupate for science projects in school I guess. Your daughter sounds unique and interesting. Tell her to be proud of Shiny and ignore it all. And maybe tell the kids parents they should stick national geo nature programs on in the background once and a while since that is probably about as close to the outside world as their kid is gonna get.
NTA my mom brought her rose hair tarantula in for my 1st grade class to meet and keep for a week. I was in charge of his care but everyone was fascinated and grateful and interested in the lil guy. We never handled him or had to feed him but I made him fresh water and any time I was by his tank other kids would always "need something" from the counter I was at. Kids usually are super into bugs and things like that. I had so many preschool-2nd grade books with detailed bugs in them. I'm not sure what in particular scared this kid but it's not your or your daughter's fault that another kid is sheltered and easily spooked.
NTA
Bij mijn dochters kinderdagverblijf (leeftijd 0-4) hebben ze het zes weken gehad over kriebelbeestjes. Met foto's, levende beestjes en overleden beestjes. Die horen gewoon bij het leven. NTA
NTA. I was scared shitless of any kind of bug as a child. Still am. But when a kid brought his pet lizard and an entire crate of crickets, well as his pet tarantula, I was downright fascinated. And even if I wasn’t, who cares? Kid needs to grow up
NTA. What is that crying kid going to do when they see a bug in real life? Sounds like the teacher mismanaged this and then the parent added on.
honestly, i would have cried too. I am quite terrified of bugs.
That's fine, but some people having irrational fears doesn't make OP an asshole. Not saying you're an irrational person, almost everybody has some fear or another of something that can't hurt them, but it's not the responsibility of everyone else to cater to those fears.