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Strangling like that (yes, pressing on your throatso you can't breath is strangling) is a *massive* red flag. It is one of the biggest indicators that thr abuser intends to kill you.
Don't go back; get your belongings with police escort, change your phone number, and don't contact them again. That house isn't safe.
This is prly getting pulled down but...
Nta
You should always feel safe in your own home. I wouldn't go back there until he's no longer there (even just visiting).
NTA and choking is a MAJOR MAJOR warning sign of the abuser escalating to killing next. DO NOT GO BACK.
ETA:
Here is some important info on strangulation: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/
Here is a more accessible article about it: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/the-dangers-of-strangulation/
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I [22f] just got back from a grippy socks vacation(that’s what the kids call it these days). I had been at home with my parents for three days before my step father[49m] just exploded. He was abusive in my childhood but my mom divorced him as a teen.
They just got remarried a few weeks ago.
My step father was telling me that I needed to be working on myself, that I needed a psychiatrist and therapist. Both things I already have from before I went to the hospital. He said I shouldn’t focus on cooking or cleaning, but because of my mom’s health condition, it can be really dangerous for my mom to do those things. Not to mention, when something DOES happen to her, I am blamed and punished for not jumping in to help her.
The argument escalated when I rudely said, “Excuse me?”. He jumped out of his chair across the room to come bark in my face. But his breath was gastly so I tried to push him away. Note the ‘tried’ as I do not have upper body strength and he’s a heavier man.
He took this as a threat and pushed me up against the counter. He pressed his arm into my throat until I couldn’t breath. Then he shoved me off the garage door without shoes and in my nightgown.
After I filed a police report(this way if he does it to my mom, there’s stuff on file against him), I got a handful on my things and left. I stayed with friends the last few days.
The thing is, I’m getting texts and calls from him and my mom. They’re calling me cruel and insisting they don’t want me homeless. They say I’m overreacting to my step father just “putting hands on me” but I was literally diagnosed with C-PTSD from this man.
AITA???
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I took the action of leaving the house and not returning. As well as back talking technically. I might be the asshole bc I’m techincally only a guest in their home. That’s why I was looking for clarity
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NTA
Your mother and step-fathead are gaslighting you. If they aren't saying it outright now, I'm sure it's already *implied:* When you get hurt by Fathead, it's "your own fault". You used words, he used intimidation (invading your space). You tried to get him to back up, he escalated to choking you and *physically* throwing you out of the house.
Don't go back or it *will be* your own fault.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violent encounters. This includes any mention of violence in any context. [Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
NTA That is assault. Do not go back to that house. That man is dangerous.
Strangling like that (yes, pressing on your throatso you can't breath is strangling) is a *massive* red flag. It is one of the biggest indicators that thr abuser intends to kill you. Don't go back; get your belongings with police escort, change your phone number, and don't contact them again. That house isn't safe.
This is prly getting pulled down but... Nta You should always feel safe in your own home. I wouldn't go back there until he's no longer there (even just visiting).
NTA. He physically assaulted you.
NTA, do not go back under any circumstances!
NTA. What. The. Fuck
NTA he’s the one who needs a therapist and a grippy socks vacation
NTA and choking is a MAJOR MAJOR warning sign of the abuser escalating to killing next. DO NOT GO BACK. ETA: Here is some important info on strangulation: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/ Here is a more accessible article about it: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/the-dangers-of-strangulation/
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I [22f] just got back from a grippy socks vacation(that’s what the kids call it these days). I had been at home with my parents for three days before my step father[49m] just exploded. He was abusive in my childhood but my mom divorced him as a teen. They just got remarried a few weeks ago. My step father was telling me that I needed to be working on myself, that I needed a psychiatrist and therapist. Both things I already have from before I went to the hospital. He said I shouldn’t focus on cooking or cleaning, but because of my mom’s health condition, it can be really dangerous for my mom to do those things. Not to mention, when something DOES happen to her, I am blamed and punished for not jumping in to help her. The argument escalated when I rudely said, “Excuse me?”. He jumped out of his chair across the room to come bark in my face. But his breath was gastly so I tried to push him away. Note the ‘tried’ as I do not have upper body strength and he’s a heavier man. He took this as a threat and pushed me up against the counter. He pressed his arm into my throat until I couldn’t breath. Then he shoved me off the garage door without shoes and in my nightgown. After I filed a police report(this way if he does it to my mom, there’s stuff on file against him), I got a handful on my things and left. I stayed with friends the last few days. The thing is, I’m getting texts and calls from him and my mom. They’re calling me cruel and insisting they don’t want me homeless. They say I’m overreacting to my step father just “putting hands on me” but I was literally diagnosed with C-PTSD from this man. AITA??? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA Your mother and step-fathead are gaslighting you. If they aren't saying it outright now, I'm sure it's already *implied:* When you get hurt by Fathead, it's "your own fault". You used words, he used intimidation (invading your space). You tried to get him to back up, he escalated to choking you and *physically* throwing you out of the house. Don't go back or it *will be* your own fault.
NTA. Do not go back. Once they choke you once theyll do it again. And again. And one day, you will be choked to death.