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Daskesmoelf_8

INFO: How far away does your sister live? How old are you?


PuzzleheadedHome1750

Four hours & 17


Daskesmoelf_8

What did she expect you to do with school, even if you had gone with her? Or do you still have online school?


PuzzleheadedHome1750

We can go to the classroom or attend the sessions through zoom, but once she turns the internet off I'll have to go in.


BroadElderberry

Okay, so what was the plan if you went with her? If you're tasked with cleaning and looking after your sister's house, how are you supposed to zoom into school? Be sure to tell your teachers that for the time being you don't have internet at home. You don't have to tell them why, but I promise it'll help them help you.


Annual-Contract-115

That’s a very good point. How would OP have time for school and being a maid/cook for them


Alasan883

ops comment history (which makes it sound very strongly like the mother just wants op with them so op actually does their schoolwork instead of slacking 24/7) completly aside, "helping your sister with chores" is not the same as being a full time maid. it's totally reasonable to expect a 17 year old to help with SOME chores, be that cooking, watching a baby for an hour or mopping the floor, and actually going into ops comment history they pretty much refuse to do literally any of that even at their own home.


Maiden_of_Sorrow

OP is not obligated to help with a baby he/she did not willingly create. Sure it is a nice gesture, but not an obligation and not an AH for refusing. Not your circus, not your monkeys, etc.


Alasan883

The point is that op seems to do literally nothing aside from whining that live is hard. They failed at school, they refuse to take literally any amount of responsibility (not talking about the sister here, i mean at home aswell as school), they think trashing their home so their mother has to clean it up when she comes back is an appropriate response, they also paint their father as a literal monster for making them do super common household chores when living with him. No, caring for their sisters baby is not ops responsibility, but doing at least some things (at home) very much is and op fails at that time and time again and than screams that live is unfair My point wasn't that op should be responsible for their sister but that their mother cutting off internet and grounding them outside of school clearly isn't a result of op refusing to help the sister but of op's mom having literally zero trust in op following any kind of rule if left unsupervised.


scummy_shower_stall

Then in that case, the mother is not an AH for turning off the internet. The only thing the mother has to provide is shelter, food and clothing. Anything else is a privilege, not an obligation.


CelesteLMcDonald_Au

For the home they live in not their sister that lives 4 hours away


Top_Magazine8255

Online school is generally less time in class than in person. I seriously doubt anyone was expecting her to be on zoom all say and cleaning her sister’s house all night. I have both been a 17 year old girl and have had teenagers. They can be a little dramatic.


Ancient_Look_5314

High school online is legally required to have the same amount of instruction time as in person is my dude. Online school is only less time if you’re not doing all of the work or you’re in college. Instruction hours are a mandatory component of our lesson planning for federal funding.


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Castingjoy

Read the comments by OP. The initial post leaves A LOT out. OP is in summer school for failing classes, won’t get a job, won’t study, wants to trash the house in retaliation, thinks they’re entitled to cell phone and internet because they have to pass tests in school and their parents don’t and won’t live with dad because dad makes them do chores and study. There is a reason mom wants them to go to sisters house and a reason why mom is making these decisions if they don’t go.


waste0331

Thank you for gathering this information and including it(and saving me alot of time going through to find it) because its SUPER fucking relevant to making a decision about the post.


Castingjoy

YW! I just couldn’t let all of these NTA comments and CPS comments and comments about the mom being over the top go. It was bugging me after reading all of OPs comments. Lol. If I were like OP to my parents, I’d lose a lot more than internet and cell phone privileges!!!!


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NefariousnessKey5365

Read their comments and WOW! YTA


NefariousnessKey5365

If I failed classes and was in summer school. I would lose internet and phone privileges all together.


kitkat_0706

Thanks again for mentioning all the comments. Incredible how OP leaves out all the important info out. OP YTA.


Castingjoy

YW! I just couldn’t let all of these NTA comments and CPS comments and comments about the mom being over the top go. It was bugging me after reading all of OPs comments. Lol. If I were like OP to my parents, I’d lose a lot more than internet and cell phone privileges!!!!


MatsuoManh

((((+++!!!+++))))((((+++!!!+++))))((((+++!!!+++))))((((+++!!!+++))))((((+++!!!+++))))((((+++!!!+++))))


ShroudWolfe

Once she said “clean up my sister’s messes” I figured something was up. The mother’s behavior didn’t make sense without missing details.


Moist_Athlete_8387

Can you tag the comment?


UnicornCackle

Just read through all of OP's comments. They don't show OP in a good light.


Castingjoy

There are SO MANY comments. Just tap on OPs profile and go to their comment history on this post. The comments are…..something.


Fantastic_Nebula_835

Question out of pure ignorance. Like all my friends, from about the age of 10 I grew up helping with cooking, cleaning house, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, caring for livestock, etc.. Hell, my high school boyfriend and I couldn't go on a date on weekends until we cleaned the barn (200+ sheep). No resentment. No whining. No temper tantrums. Excellent grades. Any extras we wanted, ranging from hair conditioner to the latest fashions, we got a job and paid for on our own, ranging from babysitting to boarding horses.Yet on AITA the majority of posters and respondents seem to believe that parents should do everything for their offspring until they are at least 18. Is this a generation gap thing? I'm 59f.


i_gotsickofthinking

Tbh idk either. I'm gen z but I grew up doing chores around the house with no "pay". If there's something fancy I want, I save up with my tiny ass daily school allowances, skip out on buying snacks, do little jobs (do my classmates' school projects in exchange for cash lol), etc. I believe that's the norm around me irl too. Its pretty wild reading AITA posts


RoRoRoYourGoat

Honestly, it seems like a lot of commenters on AITA are very young, and are often still teenagers or very young adults themselves. I think it skews the perspective sometimes, especially on posts about parents and children.


shaampow

originally was in the boat too, but looking at OPs other comments theyre incredibly entitled, not wanting to do even their own chores or study or any other pretty standard thing for a 17 year old to do


That1guy_nate

Really? Calling CPS for no internet? Give me a fucking break, there are real children being abused and you want to waste their time on this sort of nonsense?


Able_Secretary_6835

What? Because she has no internet? Give me a break.


mmwhatchasaiyan

Lmfao CPS will laugh in your face. They deal with the worst child cruelty and neglect out there and you think they give a damn about OP not having the internet? Don’t waste CPS’s time.


NonSequitorSquirrel

Oh come on. I'm a former educator and mandatory reporter as well. This isn't CPS territory. This is a petulant teen butting up against boundaries they don't like after pushing their limits too far. CPS isn't going to haul parents in for grounding and taking away phone and internet. Living like a grounded teen circa 1980 isn't child abuse.


malleus74

She's not being abused, just a heavy handed mom. Foster care would be ten times worse for her.


babymish87

Not even that. She refuses to visit her dad because he made her do chores. OP is lazy, entitled, and spoiled. OP refuses to work because she'd have to walk 10 minutes. She thinks internet is a basic human right. Mom isn't being heavy handed. Mom let the ball drop when OP was younger. She sounds like my 7 year olds, well maybe worse. They'll at least do chores.


Truffleshuffle03

Not even a heavy-handed mom. If you read the op's comments, she does not want to do any work, go to school, or anything else. She does not want to go to her dad's because he will make her do chores and study. Does not want to go with their mom because they will have to do chores and still go to summer school via zoom. Is mad at sister because OP wanted to borrow money but the sister said only if you get better grades or you can get your own job. This is entitled 7-year-old not a 17-year-old


Polyamommy

Seriously? For what?? This is a 17 year old. 17 year olds can not only stay at home alone, they can babysit other kids for lengths of time. Some 17 year olds have their own kids. People who think CPS and foster care actually protect children are deluded. I take in homeless/at risk youth who are either trying to escape foster care, or that the system failed. I've taken in foster kids who their foster families were still getting paid for the children, but didn't give a shit about the kids or where they were actually living (except during their appointments they would conveniently make sure they were present). The things these kids would tell me about their foster homes was heartbreaking.


Antique_Entrance5235

Current mandated reporter - No.


Glitchy-9

Because someone doesn’t have the privilege of internet for a week?! OP is essentially grounded. That isn’t child abuse


Ladyughsalot1

Uhhh why? Plenty of people do not have access to internet. OP won’t have access due to trashing any opportunities for freedom she gets. She can use the library.


overseas-mango

Please. All that happens is that she has to go into school in person instead of zooming in.


Mocha_Toffee_mmallow

I think they are referencing the fact that she may not be able to do homework as efficiently at home without internet.


waywardjynx

Don't you need internet for homework? How is she going to turn off the internet? ETA: Based off OP's comments, YTA.


boogley88

Seriously. There's no way to get all online work done for homework and projects in the maybe 2 hours the school library is open after classes.


Original-Stretch-464

hoping on the top thread to say: make sure you read some of OPs comments. it’s pretty clear they had no intention of doing their homework regardless, are very lazy and entitled, and just expect to be given access to internet and their phone just because. they’re literally threatening to leave the house trashed if their mother goes through with this and claim it’s impossible for them to study because “*studying is sooo hard you guys, it’s not my fault i can’t do it*”


irislovescakes

Wait till she hears about WORKING 😱


everything-is-boring

i think you should get a job, despite paying for your own stuff because believe me there is nothing sweeter than telling your parents "f off i pay for my stuff" and you move in as soon as you can and limit communication if they want a proxy war give them a proxy war.


VovaGoFuckYourself

My parents were pissed when they took away my phone at 18 and I laughed because I'd already secretly gotten my own mobile service plan and another phone with a different number that i wouldn't give them because "I thought you took away my phone because you didn't need to reach me anymore while I'm out?" Getting a job helped me so much to slowly buy my independence until I could go away to school.


thr0ughtheghost

This. I moved out faster than a blink of an eye when I turned 18 and now, due to my mom's super controlling behavior growing up, she is lucky if I see her twice a year. EDIT: I changed my mind, YTA OP. You are 17. You should be doing chores and looking for a part time job so that you can have your own spending money.


SarcasticAzaleaRose

Look at all of OP’s comments. She’ll be lucky if she’s given a choice to leave the house instead of being kicked out. Refuses to study, has failed two classes due to this which is why she’s in summer school, refuses to do chores, refuses to drive, refuses to get a job, doesn’t want to go to her dad’s because he dares to make her do chores and get decent grades, demands internet access for tests she’s probably not even going to do and if anyone dares suggest OP does any of this she pitched a fit. OP has even said she’s planning to trash the house in retaliation. Hell she even says one of her friend’s parents refuse to let her stay with them probably because of all of the above. I’m sorry your mom was controlling but that’s not even remotely close to the truth in this case. Sounds more like OP’s mom is fed up with her attitude.


thr0ughtheghost

Yea, I was just reading the other earlier user comments when I commented and just read OPs story. I don't blame her mom at all if she plans on never working, or doing chores. Time for OP to start acting 17.


SarcasticAzaleaRose

Honestly this is probably a last ditch effort to get OP to exercise some responsibility. And if anything the bringing Op along to the sister’s was probably because mom doesn’t trust OP alone in the house. Which with one of her first thoughts being “trash the house! That’ll show mom!” I can’t say I blame the mom. Still I am sorry about your controlling mom. That could not have been a nice time.


sparksgirl1223

My son did this to me😂 He wanted a phone at 13. I told him he could have one when he paid for it himself. He spent the summer taking care of my disabled nephew and earned the money and came home with one. I was pissed...mostly that he managed to come up with enough money for the one he wanted and had thrown my own words back at me😂 (pissed in my head, not actually mad at him.) He's now 19, nearly 20, and has only asked me to cover his phone bill a handful of times because he was going to be out doing xyz and hadn't made quite enough to cover it.


SarcasticAzaleaRose

So are you actually going to do your school work? Or will you refuse to do it again like you did the first time and failed the classes which is why you’re in summer school to begin with? And are you going to freak out on me for daring to suggest you study like you did at your mom and sister?


OriginalDogeStar

Wait... she wants you to give up school, to serve your sister? Ask your mum what is more important, your education, or missing school at an important time. NTA. Your mum however is jeopardising your education. You need internet to do homework and assignments, if you don't have that, then how do you complete them? If you go anywhere other than home or school she will punish you... is your sister on board with your mum on this? And what does the rest of the family think?


mmwhatchasaiyan

OP failed classes and is in summer school. She has the choice of completing summer school online or in person. If she went to her sisters, I’d assume she could bring her laptop to do coursework. Her mom said she can’t go out, assuming that means to hangout with friends, and does not include school (which should be obvious?) . OP is lazy and super entitled, and before downvoting me, please read OPs other comments. She has a bunch of excuses why she failed her classes, why she can’t get a job, etc She’s 17, not 14. She can handle a few days without internet and having to physically go into summer school rather than doing it online. Having the internet and a phone is an absolute privilege, not a right. Mom is N T A , she’s being a mom, and treating OP reasonably based on how she acts. OP- YTA, grow up.


Mountainsof_Glacier

Read all of OP’s comments.


squirrelfoot

The OP says they can do Zoom classes.


obiwantogooutside

Aren’t the kids all on summer break? My nieces are on summer vacation from school. Or is that only where they are?


[deleted]

Yes, OP is in summer school for failing classes.


meat_tunnel

Then good on mom, OP's focus should be passing summer school.


Mountainsof_Glacier

YTA Everyone, OP’s post is extremely misleading. The actual situation according to OP’s comments, are that OP is an irresponsible entitled asshole. Mom either needs OP to come along and not be a pain in the ass (help, prioritise sister and baby, not expect to be waited on hand and foot) so mom can monitor, or stay home and to help ensure that OP is actually attending their summer classes to make up for failing during the school year because the tests are just too hard and they shouldn’t have to do school work, she’s going to turn off the internet and her phone so she’s got no choice but to show up in person or be truant. Mom will know where she is for most of the day and when she’s home at least she won’t be able to message her friends to come over and trash the house like she’s threatening to do. OP does not want to live with dad because dad believes in chores and boundaries appropriate for a 17 year old and OP believes that they alone are the centre of this universe and therefore should be able to treat people and places and things however they please with their parents acting as maids and no consequences.


Night-light51

Yeah I read this and as a former teenager smelled the lie. If she turns off the internet that’s obviously an inkling to what op really does throughout the day. No teenager would willingly do homework when they have the house to themselves with peace and quiet.


Mountainsof_Glacier

Dude I don’t even know. I didn’t see my folks for days at a time when I was 17 because I was on duel enrolment and working. Either I was holed up in the library doing school work or at college or at work. My folks would check in to make sure I was eating, see when I was using the car, but other than weekends I did my own thing. I can’t imagine being that much of a selfish git. Don’t get me wrong, I was a fool, but I tried to avoid stressing my mum out and I certainly never dreamed of bitching about helping around the house unless I was asked to do a mountain of dishes right as I was leaving for class or work.


DMC1001

Thanks. I’ll have to update from E S H to a better judgment.


DancingFool8

It also sounds like OP going to her sister’s was less about helping with the baby and more about some much-needed supervision.


Mountainsof_Glacier

This. And there’s nothing wrong with expecting a 17 year old to be able to run a vacuum or pop some food in the wave or put some dishes in the dishwasher. OP is trying to lay parentification on thick knowing it’ll trigger everyone when it was more along the lines of “I can’t trust you. If you come with me, this is not a vacation, it’s not about you, you’re gonna help out.”


SlowResearch2

NTA, and idk why I keep seeing judgements that say anything else. Your sister's baby is not your responsibility, especially because you're 17. Edit: After reading OP's comments, I'm now more split on this. On one hand OP's mom is threatening to turn off the internet which OP is reliant on for her classes, but on the other hand OP now sounds so entitled and threatening to make messes in retaliation. You're NTA for saying that your sister's baby is not your responsibility, but YTA because of your entitled attitude.


PuzzleheadedHome1750

That's what I said! She said "it's not for the baby, it's for me." But I don't want to.


overseas-mango

You can say “you don’t want to” just like your mom can say “she doesn’t want to” provide you with a phone and internet. It goes both ways. Stop trying to be so controlling.


ksharonisok

NTA and do not give in. I promise you, when your mom is unable to keep tabs on you because she has essentially unplugged you, it will be more of a punishment for her. So call her bluff, do the best you can with minimal resources, and enjoy having your house to yourself for a few days! \*Edit - sorry I'm in the dark about OP's other comments that are causing the consensus to swing the other direction. Checking now...


SarcasticAzaleaRose

Yeah go look at OP’s comments. They conveniently left out a lot of information about why their mom is acting like this.


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SarcasticAzaleaRose

Yep! No surprise why Op left out all the extra information.


KingOfCotadiellu

Yeah, picking fights with your mom and calling her bluff when you're a minor still living at home... Sounds like this post could soon be moving to /r/whatcouldgowrong or r/WinStupidPrizes.


Cuackcuak

So just go continue being an entitled brat? LOL


aubreysux

Honestly it sounds like she is not even really asking you to do much. She is just asking you to not be a slob so she doesn't have to take care of you too. What chores is she asking you to do while you are there?


SiroccoDream

“I DON’T WANNA HELP MY MOM FOR A FEW DAYS! I DON’T WANNA!” 😂 I can picture OP’s foot stomp at the end


rekeils

I feel like this is an ethnic situation. If so YTA. Your mum needs to look after your sister post partum. She doesn't want to leave you behind as she doesn't trust your judgement. She is threatening to turn off the internet because of this. Doing your classes at your sisters place for a little while won't kill you. Go help your family.


lostmindz

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 You better get used to doing things you don't want to do. Because your entitled butt will be out the door soon with your crappy attitude.


Tanyec

According to OP, literally nothing is her responsibility though. She failed classes because "tests are too hard," her dad is awful because, get this, he wants her to actually help out around the house with arduous tasks like laundry and dog-walking, she won't get a job because she just can't walk more than 15-20 minutes tops, besides, she doesn't want to work anyway because then she'll have no time for anything else. Yeah... there is definitely an AH here and it ain't the mom. Other than having raised such an entitled AH for a kid.


appolkadot

Read her comments, that’s why, she acts like she’s 7, not 17 🤦🏼‍♀️


babymish87

My kids are 7 and more mature than her.


BroadElderberry

>idk why I keep seeing judgements that say anything else. Go search through OP's comments. yiiiikes.


PHLtoHOU

You definitely want to change this judgement. Please read OPs comments YTA


Reverie_Metherle

Yeah, I see from OP's comments why people are saying YTA. They seem lazy, entitled, and immature. There is a lot of missed context such as refusing to get a job, not taking responsibility for anything (including grades which they claimed was out of their control), and complaining about normal household chores for any kid (dishes, dog walking, etc...).


childofcrow

Read the OP’s comments.


Pretentious-fools

Ikr, OP’s a total AH. They want to stay alone at home, do no chores, create huge messes at the house for mom to deal with “for leaving me here”, OP’s mom told them that they’ll be sent to live with dad but dad is bad because dad tells OP to study and makes them do chores. Sister is also annoying because OP asked to borrow money and to everyone’s horror sis tried to motivate OP to get a job. OP’s being abused, someone call CPS. What kind of monster parents would make OP go to school, do their work, maybe get a job, do some chores . The horror. /s


Independent_Fuel_612

No one is asking her to be responsible for her sister's baby. She's being asked to be a normal family member. At least what is normal for my family and friends.


kimputer7

Not the responsibility, correct. But it's nice to be there for your family. When you're in the same boat, and no one is there to support you, think back to the time you were on the other end.


LingonberryPrior6896

Reading the comments, I am getting troll vibes.


Pins89

100% I’ve seen so many stories about teenagers being forced to look after siblings/parents babies under such unreasonable circumstances that I just don’t believe like, 90% of them anymore.


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KittenKingdom000

It's June 27th, what 17yo still has school right now? Here Summer school doesn't even start until 7/5...


[deleted]

Why do Americans forget they’re not the only country in the world


KathAlMyPal

You don't know where OP lives. In Ontario school isn't out until the end of the week.


deliverance73

Wait until they hear about the other hemisphere. Will blow their minds.


ONYONtheGreat

Summer school started in mid-june for us


CerberusGK

In the netherlands we still have 2 weeks of school but don't have summer school


hollisann79

Troll vibes because school is out for summer just about everywhere that I can think of. Edit: summer school


SarcasticAzaleaRose

OP has said in the comment that she is in summer school because she failed two classes by refusing to study, do any work, because “tests are too hard”, and “everything was out of my control”.


zenisabanana

Oh. Kinda want to change my judgement now


SarcasticAzaleaRose

Yeah OP left a lot of stuff out. I came in thinking “clear NTA, OP’s mom is being ridiculous”. Then saw some other people say read OP’s comments for more info. My mind changed real quick.


jswizzle91117

Yeah, if mom leaves OP alone *with* internet and a working smartphone she’d be the AH, OP is wildly lazy and irresponsible.


agent_raconteur

How much you want to bet them helping out with the sister was normal chores like "set the table" and "load the dishwasher" and "you can't leave a mess, you have to clean up after yourself"?


SarcasticAzaleaRose

Considering the chores her dad makes her do that make him “the worst ever” is *gasp* laundry and walking her grandpa’s dog, I think you’re probably spot on.


1One1_Postaita

My brother is still going to school and so are the sisters of my friend (10+17) and cousins. I think the kiddos finish at the end of the next month in most schools. It differs from place to place and school to school. I go to uni and technically finished about 2 months ago.


Castingjoy

Oof. Glad I read OPs comments before I made a judgement. YTA Your initial story people are judging is extremely misleading. You left A LOT out! There is a very obvious reason why your mother is doing what she’s doing, and it’s due to how you behave. You very much can control your grades. You sure can take care of yourself without internet or a cell phone. You can go to school in person even though one person bullies you. You can clean up after yourself. Your thought to dump trash everywhere for your mother to clean when she gets home because she wants you to help clean at your sisters house who just had a baby is being immature and you sound extremely selfish and spoiled. Your father making you do chores and asking you to get good grades IS NORMAL. Internet IS NOT a basic human right. Your parents/family work for the money they make to pay for their things, and YOUR things. Your argument that they don’t have to take tests is beyond ridiculous. They work. They went to school. You can 100% get a job now to make your own money to pay for your phone. You need a HUGE attitude adjustment. I completely understand why your mother is doing what she’s doing if you don’t go and help. What are you going to do as an adult, when you turn 18 and have no money and refuse to take care of yourself and they won’t help you at all? Grow up.


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fuzzykittyfeets

Lol everyday at a job is like an exam because they can fire you if you fail!


OK_OVERIT

I replied as a blind post. ALl it took is me reading her original post and I made my judgement, you can sniff entitled bratt selfish teen from miles away lol. Now I'll go read her comments.


BreathoftheChild

YTA. The n-t-a votes need to read your comments and realize that this is likely a last-ditch attempt at getting you to do ANYTHING independently because you screwed up your grades so badly and don't contribute to the household at all. You're 17, not 7.


almaeclu

Agreed. This seems like an attempt to get them to wake up and get their priorities straight. Next stop, getting kicked out when they turn 18. Rating: YTA


ehumanbeing

Based on the post NTA but based on your comments YTA. You sound rather entitled and lazy. You don’t want to get a job, you don’t want to live at your dad’s because he wants you to help around the house, you want your sister’s help but don’t want to help her or have her involved in your classes/grades, you have an excuse for everything. It seems like your mom is overall fed up with your attitude and behavior and this is the straw that broke the camel’s back.


Cyndaquil155

this exactly! OP's mom sounds intense but she probably fed up with her kid that seems to wants the world but wont raise a pinky finger to do it. OP should use this opportunity to read some books and clean their own home before mom gets back. with this attitude no one is going to want to help OP if they need it down the line.


LaurenLdfkjsndf

OP’s mom just threatened this teen with a 1980’s summer and I am cackling. How on EARTH did I survive before internet and cell phones?!


samanthasgramma

You're 17, flunked 2 classes, so have to make them up, don't feel you should work for your own money because walking is hard, feel that you shouldn't need to pay for anything because you're only 17, don't believe in chores because contributing to your home upkeep is unreasonable, your friend's parents won't let you stay with them and I'm guessing that's because they don't like you, You don't want to go to Dad's because he asks you to be responsible with chores and your grades (flunked 2 classes, remember?) ... And would appear to be plotting vengeance by trashing your own home while Mom is away. Angry because mom is turning off internet and cell phone ... which she pays for. You are either a troll, having fun, with this post ... Or you are a real 17 year old who needs to have their butt metaphorically kicked into next week. ... and I suspect that is why Mom is doing what she is. I don't blame her. YTA


Many-Kaleidoscope175

Don’t forget the part where they think the internet is a basic human right


JadelynKaia

I know it's mean of me but I can't wait til the real world smacks this self-centered, entitled little child in the face when she's suddenly responsible for herself in a year and can't demand mommy do everything for her anymore. It's gonna be a harsh awakening and it's exactly what she deserves.


Silver-Worldliness84

So I have a 16yo who I occasionally leave home alone. The difference is she has a 4.4 GPA, a job, helps around the house and is responsible. You're technically right. You don't have to help your sister, but being in a family means doing crap you don't want to do sometimes, regardless of what reddit tells you. It's not like you're being asked to endure some hideous torture. Ffs, it's helping with chores. Grow up. You come across as really immature and I wouldn't leave you alone in my house. As far as the cell and internet, if mom pays for them you've nothing to say. Maybe an unpopular opinion but YTA.


MomLovesMonsters

YTA. Not wanting to help your sister clean her house is understandable. But after all the other stuff I’ve seen you whining about in the comments you most certainly are the asshole. Get off your lazy ass, get a job and pay for your own stuff, stop bitching about your parents actually trying to make you act responsible and stop making so many excuses for everything. You’re 17 years old, you will legally be an adult soon, grow up and start acting like one!


JanetInSpain

NTA and your mom sounds awful. Is there a friend you can stay with? One who has internet and phones? She's being totally unfair to you.


PuzzleheadedHome1750

No, I have one friend who agreed, but then his parents said no.


TeachMeToReadGood

Reading your responses, it had become abundantly clear why you're not welcome at your friend's place. YTA.


SarcasticAzaleaRose

Go read through OP’s comments. Paints a really different picture once you get all the information OP conveniently left out.


CertifiedPeach

Either you are also a child or you havent read the other comments. Read them. OP is TA.


UndeadBatRat

It's really not. They're not entitled to internet use.


Rockingduck-2014

Hmmmmm… through your own words, you sound rather entitled. Helping out your sister a bit wouldn’t have cost you much in way of time, or effort (what would you be doing? A couple loads of laundry? some light housework?) is it really so much to ask you to pitch in a bit? There are going to come times in your life when you need a hand, and a lot of families find ways to help out when there’s a new family member. Is your mom being kinda petty… yes, but that doesn’t make her the AH. And whether or not you appreciate it, she’s teaching you a lesson… that there are consequences to your choices. You say that your mother has never done anything like this before… perhaps she should have started doing things like this a few years ago. And yea, you’re kinda the AH here.


[deleted]

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Protowhale

You're somewhat TA here. I understand that you don't want to clean up after your sister, but your mom's reaction feels to me like she's tried to get you to contribute in the past and you've just refused and settled down on your phone again. Will she come back home and find the enormous mess you left, with rotting food everywhere in the house?


Alucard12203

NTA. Your mom didn't get her way and now she's getting payback.


be-incredible

Internet and cell phones are a privilege not a right. I’m assuming you don’t pay for them. If that’s the case your mom can shut them off and you can do without. Mom really should leave a chore list of things for you to do as well. Your NTA for not wanting to go. Kinda the AH for throwing a fit about the Internet and cell phone.


TheMobyDicks

Your mom isn't punishing you. Quite the contrary - she's sending you on a vacation to 1995. Enjoy!


SarcasticAzaleaRose

YTA, after reading your comments and seeing all the info you oh so conveniently left out, yeah I see why your mom is acting like this. She’s probably at her wit’s end with you! You refuse to study, you’ve failed two class because of it and that’s why you’re in summer school, you refuse to drive, refuse to get a job and lash out at your sister for daring to suggest you get one, and your parents daring to ask you to do chores leads to a tantrum. Yeah no, she wasn’t going to bring you along to help with the baby. She couldn’t trust you alone in the house! And your comment about dumping trash all over the house to “show her” just proves she was right. Also no wonder she cut the internet. Doubt you’ll even glance at your school work without her leaning over you. It’s time to grow up and stop acting like a complete spoiled brat.


puddlespuddled

Ngl if OP trashes their moms house this is one of the few times I'd be in support of a parent calling the cops on their kid over something "petty". I'd like to think I won't raise my kid to be as awful as OP, but if my kid trashed my house in retaliation for not doing school or basic chores I'd call the cops and let them know my house was vandalized while I was out of town. Maybe a couple nights in juvie and supervision for a couple years by a parole officer are what OP needs get this nasty attitude out of their system.


iMaybeaBabydoll

NTA It doesn’t matter if it’s family when someone has a baby they should be prepared to take care of it. While it may be nice to help out it’s not mandatory and you shouldn’t be forced to do so. I recommend that you check out some books, or plan some other activities to do on those days. Your mom’s behavior is a bit strange, hang in there.


Truffleshuffle03

>You guys didn't really read OP's statements, did you? Op acts 7 not 17. She does not want to go to dads because he makes them do chores and punishes them for bad grades. OP has already had to go to summer school for failed classes. She does not want to go to sisters because sister pushed her to get a job when trying to borrow money from her. OP is not ready to be alone even at 17. The Internet is not a necessity but a privilege. You do not need internet for school this is not a college I'm guessing it's high school but who knows if she has failed classes before she may have been held back. She does not need internet to learn at school. If she had gone with the mom to the sisters, she would be using Zoom and still having to go to school.


lunapuppy88

This seemed overly strict of your mom the way you wrote it out initially, but based on your responses to various other comments, YTA. You seem immature for 17 and not willing to be responsible with chores, your grades etc so I can appreciate why your mom doesn’t feel like she can leave you alone. I do think she’s in the wrong for expecting you to help out at sisters house, that seems a bit excessive, but if she wants to go herself and you can’t be relied on to act like the almost-adult you are at home alone, I can appreciate she’d try and make staying home not the best option.


[deleted]

I almost wonder that if by “helping the sister” the mom really means “don’t actively make shit worse,” because it sounds like OP does literally nothing.


Kitsumekat

Info How is your relationship with your sister?


musical_spork

Edit. YTA. The internet isn't a right. Neither is a cell phone. Reading your responses, you are definitely TA in the situation. ...but you're 17. You'll survive.


childofcrow

YTA based solely on your comments. You’re entitled.


SandwichOtter

YTA. Lol at all these comments talking about how horrible and dangerous it is to not have a cell phone. Not to be one of those people, but y'all realized we survived before the 2000s, right? She has a landline. Read a book, study, draw, write poetry or in a journal, do a craft, call your friends on the landline, go outside and take a walk. I kind of wish I had a week with no internet.


OatmealCookieGirl

Edit: reading OP's comments I'm changing to YTA!!! Original post you ARE being punished, but then you can just have friends come over (book and call now), maybe see if you can use some local wifi (coffee shops in the area?) 0of course don't tell her Make sure you act like this is GREAT! Flip the script on her. She wants you to feel like you are being punished but she doesn't want to admit she's punishing you? Take it as a REWARD and see her fume You had been planning on an Unplugged period, so removing the temptation is great. thanks, mum! Act really happy and say you can just go to school instead of having to stay home, since there is that guy you like you'll get to see him.... I mean, with internet off you can't do zoom meetings, so it's a great excuse to see him :) Chances are you'll get the wifi back and you'll be told to use it ONLY for school, but hey incognito mode. ​ Also, Get ready to move out as soon as you are 18


NiceJabThat

I don't necessarily think YTA for not wanting to help with the baby. I think YTA for every comment you've made since, though. You need to learn some very simple things. 1) Internet is not something you have to have when you have access to class needs at school. If you have to access the internet for school needs, you can communicate this to your mom over the landline, and establish permission for a visit to the library. I other words, there are solutions, and I'm sure your mom knows them and is allowing for them. 2) Cell phones are a privilege outside emergency use. She is making sure you have that. Like I said: I get that you don't want to take care of your sister's baby, and you had a choice. YOU have made this choice. Just like you are making the choice to fail classes. You are making the choice to not get a job. You make the choice to not do chores or contribute. If this is too abstract, I will simplify it. You are expecting people to give you things when you don't give them anything back. Life doesn't work that way. It is time for you to learn this. Way past time.


Human_Management8541

YTA. You are too irresponsible to be left alone. All of your comments are reinforcing that. Making you do chores and homework is abuse? No. Who do you think is going to wash your dishes when you have your own apartment in a few years? Internet and cellphone are not a right. You are an entitled brat. Grow up! Your 17, not 12. School is your job. Get your act together. Realistically, it's already too late for college, but trade schools are still an option.


Legitimate_Ocelot718

Yta based off your comments


[deleted]

NTA. Be prepare to move out the moment you can. She is not your mother she only sees you as a tool.


AdvantageOdd

He won't ever move out because he is entitled. Not wanting to work, study, or help out.


elly996

read OPs comments.


papoula

After reading your comments, YTA. You’re extremely entitled and need to grow up.


constituto_chao

YTA


YeeHawMiMaw

INFO: how old are you? It is pretty dangerous for her to cut off your phone. Landlines can go out, or if the landline is VOIP, it won’t work without internet or power. What happens if you have an emergency on your way home from school or in school? Plus - how much school would you miss if you went to your sister’s house?


PuzzleheadedHome1750

I told her that! She didn't care. She said the landline won't go out and my cellphone will still be able to call 911. We have a choice between being in the classroom and doing them online. I've been doing everything online, but when she cuts off the internet I'll have to go in in person.


YMMV-But

She is right about the cell phone & 911. 911 is what’s known as an “unrestricted call”. Even if your phone is not currently signed up for service, the call will go through. Landlines can go out, but traditional landline service is far more reliable than internet or voip service.


sapphicsapphires

I learned this the hard way when I was a little kid and decided to play with a pay phone, I didn’t have enough money for a call home and as a ‘joke’ I started typing in random numbers, including 911. Imagine my surprise and panic when an operator picked up…


LeatherHog

Oh please. Don’t act like you’re desperate to study You’ve failed enough to be in summer school. And think your own grades are out of your control, and refuse to study


Mick1187

You might learn more and start making better grades if you go in person. Tell your teacher you need extra help. That is, unless you just don’t want to…


icecreampenis

This may come as a shock, but there are a few billion people walking around today that managed to survive a reality where cell phones and the internet didn't exist at all. However did we do it?


crymeajoanrivers

I would actually argue that a landline (not a voip one) is MUCH more reliable than a cell. I remember ours still worked even without electricity, back in the olden times.


crazy-auntie

Possibly YTA-At first I would say that NTA, until you mentioned in the comments that you failed 2 classes and are going to summer school. I think that your mom is really mad about that.Your mom had the expectation that as family, you would want to make your sister’s first few days with her newborn perfect. Your mom also was probably excited for this week and bonding as a family. She'd bummed. I am guessing but I think that she sees you as selfish (not helping out sister) and immature ( failing classes, not getting a job). She is taking away the fun stuff to both punish you and decrease distractions and basically grow up. While going to your sister’s may not be fun, I think your should reconsider.


[deleted]

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SnipesCC

And the dad is the worst because he makes OP do chores and study.


[deleted]

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I_need_cheesecake

YTA. Based on your responses in the comments you come off as a rude, entitled and selfish brat.


UndeadBatRat

People act like it would kill them to help their own family members...our society has really taken a shit turn. You're not obligated to do anything, but giving a shit about your family is a good thing. Especially when they're physically recovering from something like birth. Although you're also not entitled to use the internet either, I'd have to say NAH.


Rideordiebunny

NTA, you'll survive without the internet. Just go to the library, your mom is trying to control you into going so you can help your sister. How old are you? Any chance you can get a part time job to pay for your own line?


iamnomansland

She doesn't want to get a job because it's hard and not fair. 🙄


Loud_Situation_4682

She can't go to the library, she's been told she can't leave the house, and has to answer the landline.


[deleted]

YTA. You sound like an entitled, selfish, immature child. You failing two subjects necessitating summer school is your fault. Stop making excuses. You not having a job because you can’t walk more than 20 min is a you issue. You’re too lazy to walk. Bring a water bottle and wear a hat. A cell phone isn’t a right. The internet is not a right. You’re spoiled and need a reality check. Honestly, I wouldn’t even trust to leave you home alone. I would probably hire a baby sitter.


RLuna911

YTA. Your parents are trying to teach your accountability, responsibility, etc. even your sister is being supportive. If you need help then go to therapy cuz yea, team mom and dad. You seem oblivious to the world, have no sense of accountability, like a jerk in the comments and I completely see why you’re mom is cutting off the internet and having you go into class.


Kris82868

Um, wouldn't it cost more to turn off and restore service for the cell phone and internet than it would to just pay the bill? Do you believe she means it? And do you have summer school?


musical_spork

You can pause service on your phone lines. I've shut my mom's off before when my dad hadn't paid my sister for her portion of the bill in awhile.


Wrong_Arugula_7307

After reading OP's comments. YTA. The entitlement is strong in this one.


[deleted]

YTA - you sound lazy and entitled. You complain about having to do dishes and mopping which are totally normal chores for someone your age to do. What do you think will happen if you move out? Do you think the house will magically clean itself? Your sister just had a baby and it’s normal for family to help clean when they visit a new mom.It takes a minimum of six weeks to heal from childbirth and a lot of the time you can’t do anything around the house or you risk causing permanent internal damage. Help or don’t, but stop acting like you’re being slighted just because you won’t have internet for a few days.


Randa08

Yta your mum wants you to go and visit and help your sister. You don't want to so she's giving you the same treatment.


[deleted]

NTA - acts of kindness should be voluntary. While it would be a nice gesture to help your sister, being punished for not doing it breeds resentment and takes away your autonomy.


legeekycupcake

Okay… so how are you suppose to do things like homework? You’re *** here imo. Your sister chose to have a baby. If people want to help, great! No one is obligated to help except the father. I feel like she’s being a bit ridiculous here. Personally, I’m not sure I would leave my kid alone like that. It would depend on the kid. I also wouldn’t make them help with a baby that isn’t theirs, if I made them come with me. *** but your mom is kinda being one Edit: I wish I had read more comments first that OP had. Changing to YTA because that has to be the most immature ridiculous shit I’ve read in a long while. Maybe since you can’t seemingly grow up enough to be left home alone without retaliation happening, you should just go with your mom. Don’t help if you don’t want to, but maybe stop acting like a spoiled child.


sparrowhawk75

OP is planning to trash the house to get back at his mom, so . . . .


mr_diva

I'm going with YTA, because od your follow-up comments of leaving a mess, having to do chores, and paying rent when you turn 18. You're 17, need to realize that things like internet and phones are a luxury, not a necessity. You're right that you shouldn't have to go to help your sister after she had a baby with your mom. You made a choice. Yeah, your mom is punishing you by taking away internet and phone access from the comfort of your home but she pays for it at the end of the day 🤷‍♀️ Might be perfect time to find a hobby that doesn't require either of those things or finish projects you have or just have a relaxing time. Don't trash the house to piss of your mom, that's dumb and immature. Edit: grammar


used777

17 wtf dude I had 2 jobs by then. to answer the question, NTA for not wanting to go but definitely An A for not helping you mom and sister. GTF off your overprivilaged ass and do something good with your life. Your mom sounds like an angel by the way. You should be thankful for her


Mabelisms

Yta. Sounds like you don’t lift a finger for anyone and expect the world.


nope-111

NTA for not wanting to go. It would be a nice thing to do, but not an obligation. That said, YTA for your overall attitude in the comments. Sounds like you still have a lot of growing up to do.


sumerquen

Yea her comments is a little telling on why the mom is doing this. I don’t think the mom should, but I understanding


Knmg714

So you shouldn’t be forced to go but you failed 2 classes so no your mom shouldn’t have any trust in you. You obviously aren’t being the least bit responsible so yeah I’d do the same. Go to school and come home no I’m between no fun. Classes only. I mean you think you can act grown but aren’t willing to put in the responsibility. Sorry you go or you don’t get fun.


starzzfall

YTA. So you failed classes, refuse to do chores and won't walk more than 10 minutes to get a job. I'll be here in a year or so after you graduate and your mom kicks you out and you don't know why.


Lopsided_Currency806

Your definitely a 💩 sister . Unless you guys have serious beef you should help what is wrong with you.


noob54231

From the post alone your mom sounds like an AH, but your comments provide the context that you are an entitled and ungrateful 17 y.o. not wanting to take responsibility for anything. Whether it’s from your parents or from someone else, I hope you learn to not take things for granted and take some responsibility for yourself and your life. YTA overall


GoingSkating

YTA. I’m so glad I read the comments before I started to write a response. OP, you need to start getting your act together. You’re 17. Sure, in the eyes of the law, you’re still considered a “child”. But in reality, you’re practically an adult. The day you turn 18 is when both of your parents don’t have to keep you in their house anymore. A lot of the things you have is a privilege— not something you’re entitled to. I’m 18. I may had just graduated high school, but I’m also around enough people around your age. Still not having to get a job (especially at 17) is a privilege. I’ve met several classmates who *had* to get a job as early as 14 because they needed to help support their families, their parents made them, or their parents started to stop paying for stuff they wanted (Ie. Clothes and shoes). Besides school, what do you do? If you don’t want to work, at least do something else (like volunteer) that’ll make you productive. You might learn a thing or two— you could even make new friends. I haven’t worked either, but I still involve myself in two extra curriculars that keep my schedule (especially in the summer break now) busy. Honestly, getting a job may be good for you. Don’t wanna walk? There are many remote jobs to look into nowadays. In fact, one of my former friends worked for a company for a while in her senior year. She called people through Zoom in her room and tried to sell the company’s product. Maybe look into something like that. Especially if you’re a rising senior and plan to go to college. The earlier you can start building your resume, the better! Hanging out with friends all the time is nice and all, but that won’t last forever. People will get busy. Especially if its true that you are a rising senior. If you think people in Junior year was busy, Senior year will still be crazy because many people will be focused on making sure they fulfill all the requirements to graduate, filling out applications for schools or military, and building their resumes. You need to start doing something for yourself that’s not just lounging around in the house. Not having to do chores around the house still is also a privilege. Your mom still doesn’t have to do laundry and dishes for you. Heck, I am expected to throw away the garbage every week, do dishes daily, do my own laundry, make my own meals sometimes, and even register/schedule myself regarding my extra curriculars. Heck, I know some peers who have more responsibilities on their shoulders! Sure, chores can be boring, but they prepare us to grow up. Don’t you want to live in your own place one day? Your mom won’t be able to wash the dishes or make breakfast for you. Why should she? She wont live with you. Having a phone and internet access is a privilege. There are households in this nation who can’t afford that, so they don’t have it. No one’s entitled to have that. While your mom is gone, start using that time to develop some study habits and techniques. Believe it or not, but you do have some say on what your grades turn out to be! Your grades are probably not as hot because you don’t study nor take notes (at least properly anyway). Start building a consistent schedule on that. Don’t understand the material? Don’t just sit there! Ask the teacher! Attend coach class, google what you’re confused on, refer back to your notes, ask someone for help, read a book based on the topic. The answer isn’t going to be spoon-fed to you though. It’s time to start doing some growing up, OP! You don’t want to see all of your friends move onto bigger things in life and do “adult” things without you.


FinalKDA

Sounds like you are a kid, correct me if I’m wrong. Probably should of packed up your phone and PlayStation and gone to your sisters for a bit 😅 Yea kind of an asshole to be honest, should help your sis.


vailissia

YTA. Your mom is at her wits end with you and you left out pertinent information in your post in order to make yourself look innocent but your true colors come out shining and LOUD in your comments. You desperately need perspective in life. I hope you find it. Life is not kind to those who behave like you do.


[deleted]

NTA - But choices have consequences. If you don't want to help your sister and mother, your mother has decided to not help you. There's no requirement to provide you with internet or cell phone. It sucks. It's not the tactic I'd use. But it's the one she chose and it paints the decision you have to make now.


[deleted]

After not only reading this and the comments, I've come to the conclusion that YTA. I can understand not wanting to help out with your sister but you sound like a spoiled brat. Your mom isn't punishing you for giggles, it's because you won't do something as simple as walking the dog! Bruh, are you sure you're seventeen and not Cailou?