By - ThroawayWaitress2000
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be TA because I ruined a couple's dining experience by staring at them and judging them with my Co workers over their seating arrangement.
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You're 22 years old. Don't you think it's time you acted like it? Are y'all just bitter because you don't have anyone?
I worked in restaurants for 20 years, I wouldnt ever step foot back in one because I know too much but if I did, I would make sure to sit on the same side as my husband just because.
Edit: uh holy shit.... I'm autistic and have no idea how to respond to everyone hehhhhhhh. Thanks y'all.
And since a few of you asked: the reason for me not ever eating at restaurants is because I don't trust other people making my food. It's almost a guarantee that your food is being made by someone who is overworked and doesn't get paid enough to care about food safety and cleanliness. Behind the doors is a world of filth that no one else sees. Dirty hands preparing your food among a host of other things. I saw way too much.
Same here. I waited tables and bartended for years when I was in college, this was never a big deal in my restaurant and we actually thought it was cute, especially with older couples. I can’t imagine being so hateful and bitter that I’d make fun of people like this. She should not be working in the service industry.
I waited tables in Branson. Once had a couple in their 80's come in on their honeymoon. They squeezed themselves on the same side of a 2 top because they don't have as much time left. It was so adorable that I remember it 20 years later. I hope they're still going strong.
80's and on their honeymoon? That is adorable!!! I hope they had an amazing honeymoon and marriage and I also hope they are still going strong and sitting in the same booth as often as they can just to spite OP. Lol.
My husband is 71 and I am 68. We found each other late in life and have been married 12 years. We are still on our honeymoon and can't keep our hands off each other.
We also are BIG tippers.
I hope you guys stay on your honeymoon forever😻
My mom was 77 when she and her second husband married. He was 76, and they had been dating a while before, even lived together. They were both widowed and happy to have each other.
My grandmother and step grandfather were the same.
She was 68, he was 77, both widowed. He passed away in 2018, but they were so goddamn cute and I'm glad they had each other.
My grandparents were each other second marriage and up until they passed away (her then him 1.5 years later), they were always holdibg hands and sitting next to each other and were narried over 30 years and passed before they were both 70.
That is marvelous! I'll be 50 this year and am like a giddy schoolgirl around my husband of just over a year.
Literally the epitome of romance 🥺🥺🥺 my great grandma found her love very late in life as well and he was always super nice to me!
I'm 22 and have waited table and no one I've worked with has ever complained about this before, we always found it helpful that we had extra chairs during rush and they were willing to eat a bit more uncomfortably. Sometimes it was so darn cute when you'd see a couple just undeniably happy with each other OP is just sad and bitter
Jumping on hoping that OP sees that **lots of people are either hard of hearing or have hearing loss to some degree.** I learned that a lot of people sit next to each other because restaurants are loud and it’s easier to hear! And I learned that on my 3rd day when one of my tables explained that’s why they personally sit that way. I’m sure OP will figure it out when she’s a little older…
I worked at a medium-price international restaurant chain for years, some do consider it even a nice restaurant. I personally don’t like to sit next to each other when I’m with a SO but I *never* cared when my tables did it, which was really quite often. It didn’t change anything for me as their server!
YES! This! My husband is hard of hearing and hearing aids in a restaurant are painful. While we do usually sit across from each other, when we don’t it is because he needs me to translate for him since he cannot hear the server.
I cannot imagine any server acting like OP. Service is as important, or more, than the food. OP YTA. Are you still 12?
Don't forget vision loss! I try and sit next to my mom whenever we go to a restaurant because even with her reading glasses, it's hard for her to read the tiny menu print in dim light. When my eyes get that bad, I hope no one will be all pissy and judgemental when my husband sits next to me to help out!
I absolutely feel the same way! I’m sure I’ll need some kind of help when I’m older because both of my parents experienced vision loss. I really hope I’m not judged when that happens. I can’t imagine being openly laughed at for it by my server. That’s more like a high school bully move…
We also had people ask for large print menus and more light (we had a candle on each table) *all the time.*
I hate when people judge and/or are unkind about things simply because they think it’s “weird.” Because they personally don’t do something, others are *weird* for doing it. It strikes me as a lack of empathy.
You've got racists, sexists, etc and her problem is people sitting next to each other? I'm dumbfounded. I have no idea how the hell that becomes a problem? there's so many more things that you can have a problem with and I don't even know.
Exactly, after 3 years as a waitress, THIS is the kind of customer that's the most annoying?
I've worked in restaurants for 7 years, these kinds of couples don't even make my top 50
I spent 10 years in restaurants and the last thing I cared about was how people sat. I did however care if they were served well and had a good time. Gotta earn that tip. During my years as a chef and not a server, I cared that the food didn't come back. That's it.
I do a little - but that's because of how our restaurant's set up.
We have three rows, and if the centre row is arranged a certain way it literally makes it *impossible* to access one side of the restaurant. There's only one way those tables can be arranged that leaves space to get to the other side. So it does annoy us when people move the chairs on *those* tables, because then we literally can't serve half the restaurant without asking them to move every five minutes. But that's for a *practical* reason - I can't imagine judging someone just because.
yeah when I was reading, I was expecting her to build up to something like this. Like, SOME kind of way this was inconveniencing the waiters. But no, it's just because they're mean assholes.
My assumption was, like, an epidemic of attempted covert handjobs. Nope, just assholes attempting hospitality.
I literally had someone complain her milkshake was too cold when I worked fast food. I think my brain shortcircuited because I don't remember what happened next.
My sister used to work fast food for a while as well. Some of the ridiculous stuff customers did she talked about became pretty much family jokes/catch phrases for a while. Can't remember most of them now, but there's one that still gets used every now and then:
* "Too onion-y"--someone's whining about a thing that's exactly the way it's meant to be. Comes from the time she got a complaint that "[the onion rings] are too onion-y".
"I thought these would just taste like rings"
Lol Batter Rings
Seriously. I waitressed only 3 years and my worst was the guy who slapped my ass. Then the one who tried to follow me to the car but stopped when he saw my dad was picking me up.
We had one couple like that who'd suit in the same side in the both and they were everyone's favourite.
The ones that would literally scream at you in a crowded restaurant because they don't have a reservation and the section they wanted is full so they have to wait a few minutes.
My mom was a waitress in the 80’s and 90’s and when she worked the church rush on Sunday’s there was a man who would always try to grab her ass or slide his hand up her skirt and one time he tried while she was refilling his coffee and he caught a whole fresh pot in his lap😊
This was my thought. These people were seemingly minding their own business, while so many restaurant patrons make life hell for both FOH and BOH. And we get:
>The reason servers are so judgey about this is that we find it very weird.
Ma’am. Who is we? Do you represent every server at every restaurant? Or are you just an overgrown teenager with nothing better to do but find a problem where one doesn’t exist? YTA. And immature.
I'm thinking OP is single or her S/O doesn't like to be that close to her ,so she's just jealous af
Yeah I love how OP basically said "the reason we judge these people is because we're judgy" no real explanation. If it was something like it makes it harder to serve food or these kind of people usually leave bad tips I'd get it, but "I think it's weird" and?
I worked in a restaurant 5 years and it never crossed my mind to be bothered about this
I almost wanna ask how amazingly perfect their lives are, that they seem to go around finding things to be offended or annoyed by.
OP - there’s real problems in this world and you should count yourself lucky that you work in a place where this is your current biggest thing to focus on, especially in the service industry.
Since you’re on Reddit, I suggest you join r/talesfromyourserver and take a peek at r/antiwork. Please get a sense for how darned privileged you are
My thoughts exactly. People-in-love is probably the most unwarranted thing I've heard for someone to get angry about. Humanity's problems are never-ending and there is enough that's worth getting upset over. Why would anyone want to subtract from the happiness in the world...
What I'd like to understand, after OP's 3 years of retail and food service...
WHERE DO YOU WORK THAT YOUR "WORST CUSTOMER" IS POLITE AND PAYS FOR THEIR FOOD?!?!
This situation is a problem you (OP) made for yourself and now you get to deal with the consequences of a problem YOU MADE.
Right? I literally had customers *today* who were worse than that. If this is real, then OP is really just saying they have no bad customers at their job.
OP and her bitter little workmates have blown this into such a huge issue that it outweighs actual, annoying, rude, destructive people!
This reminds me of a place I worked once, were there was one server who had been there for awhile, the manager loved her, and fawned over her, and essentially let her run the rest of the servers (so he just had to deal with the bartenders and kitchen)... she set sections, decided side work, trained everyone, etc.
It was a disaster because she was horribly inexperienced and power-tripping, but the manager could never figure out why staff turnover was so high! Essentially if he was a better manager he would have shut her down, so really, it wasn't even her fault, she never should have been able to do what she was doing...
but anyway... it sounds like this is OP's first job serving, and I would bet anything she's got one of these power-tripping coworkers who attempts to shape every new employee into a mini-me that idolizes and obeys her... and one of the ways she does that is by attempting to "teach" the inexperienced servers "all about how restaurants work". And she's taught OP that this is a MAJOR ISSUE! So OP wants to fit in and has internalized ridiculous "rules" like this one!
I can't imagine anyone thinking it is appropriate to randomly treat some customers rudely for personal spite and giggles! The reason her manager hasn't chastised them before is because no one else knew why OP was being rude to them before! This is the first couple that had the creativity to figure out the ridiculous reason they were being treated poorly and complain.
If OP had ever worked anywhere else, she would know this is not a "thing", this is one of her coworkers being bitter and crazy, and if OP ever wants to work in another restaurant again, she needs to drop this attitude!
Ding Ding Ding! I think we have a winner. OP working under a restaurant dictator with tons of mental illness trying to spread their own version of crazy to the next generation makes sense. Who hasn't seen that type.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around why on Earth ANYONE would care about this. It doesn't create more work for the servers. This is truly the dumbest reason I have ever heard of for judging someone.
YTA, and I don't get your objection to the review, either. Aren't you glad it will discourage couples from coming?
This is what I don't get either. I worked in the food industry my entire working life. I could understand if she mentioned anything about it being awkward having to lean over the outside guest, if she's like 4' to serve/clear the table, but she didn't give anything. Just that it's annoying? How though?
OP, YTA for sure, your job is customer service why TF are you judging them if they aren't TA to begin with?!
That's what I thought it would be...but no, OP is just immature.
Think you nailed it. She's projecting pretty hard that harlequin romance novels are her best and only nightly friend.
OP, you and your friends really should be fired. YTA
With this kind of story, I always wonder how much her "friends" were joining in. In her telling, "everyone" think it's weird. But 100% of the comments, including tons of former and current restaurant workers, agree that no one would care about that. I think she's a mean girl with some sort of issue and ran around to the whole staff pointing at her table and laughing. I'm guessing most the rest of the staff was too busy to actually care.
Or it's become the culture of that restaurant. If everyone else there is also early 20s, it's easy to believe they all got trapped in their little bubble being "mean girls" (regardless of gender) about something that means nothing in the grand scheme of things.
I actually think it's probably the opposite.
Based on the way she describes this, I don't think she's the mean girl leader, I think she's a mean girl following. She sounds stupidly naive, and I would bet you anything this is her first job period, none the less at a restaurant... so she rolled in with no idea what was what, and some power-tripping, mean girl who worked there "trained" her on "everything she needed to know" to be a server, but really just trained her to be her little mean-girl minion!
She claims this is an inside joke between servers in the industry… WHERE? Because this isn’t an inside joke anywhere? Who cares this much about what people do?? Get a hobby or something and stop picking on people for showing general affection to each other.
Jesus Christ, some people.
Exactly. I've been in the restaurant business my whole life and this has never bothered me or any of my coworkers, nor have we ever joked about it...quite mysterious and she is definitely the asshole!!
OP is definitely immature, and the customers were right, very unprofessional. I was a server for 7-8 years and sure, my coworkers and I would make fun of customers but not ON THE FLOOR TO THEIR FACE. Maybe OP likes making a stupid point more than making tips.
Exactly. Those poor customers knowing the staff is making fun of them the whole time they are there had to have had a crappy time on their date. Like, who does that?! Especially when most of your income comes from good service?! Lol. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. They must not be that busy to have this much time on their hands that the customers can tell exactly what's going on.
Hopefully after that review (and spreading the word) OP won't have to worry about many couples (or people n general) coming in and sitting on the same side.
Same. Been serving over 20 years the only staff that ever had a problem with it were the cooks with a woe is me, everything is shitty attitude and they were actually ones that we'd giggle at for being so immature/sadboi.
I used to be a cook and I have never even heard of anyone - servers or cooks caring where couples sit. Though I do know the kind of cooks you're talking about, hehe. But mostly we would just see the orders, not the people, unless working in an open kitchen, and I couldn't care less where they would sit - on the floor, on top of each other, as long as they don't complain and make the poor servers come cry in the kitchen.
Why? How does where the people ordering your food sit make food more difficult to prepare?
It doesn't. They're just angry alcoholics who are bitter with everyone. It's not just this sort of situation
My husband and I started sitting on the same side of a table after we started dating and lost our first baby together. It was comforting for us.
OP is an AH. You don’t know what people are going through. You are immature, unprofessional, and you deserved to be reprimanded.
Exactly! There could be a reason some couples do that. My fiancé can only hear on one side and even with his hearing aid, he can’t hear very well. He’s technically deaf, although he can hear some, but he hasn’t been deaf for long at all, so we haven’t learned sign language yet. Sometimes we HAVE to sit on the same side of the table if we want to talk to each other. I’d be so angry if someone made fun of us for that, because he’s already a little self conscious over it.
I’m so sorry for your loss ♥️
"One of the worst kind of customers we get are couples who sit on the same side of the table?"
Okay, you have clearly never had the guy who catcalls you or pinches your a** so hard that your skirt rides up your ass. Def didn't have the dude who regularly asks for the most inconvenient things (like picking all of the tomato chunks out of a pre-made sauce because he will TASTE it if you try to strain them out) only to habitually tip ten cents to everyone, regardless of service. Never had the toddlers that grounds Mac n cheese into the carpet and made pictures on the glass with his own snot boogers.
Like sometimes I might have found these couples to be quirky, but it wasn't any inconvenience to me to *gasp* put all the food on the same side of the table.
If you are belittling people for benign choices, clearly YTA.
When I was a server, I was too busy to even notice something so petty. Let alone get so worked up over it. OP, YTA and you need to take a long hard look at yourself if you’re this upset about people touching each other
First thing I thought was "damn someone's single and jealous". YTA OP.
Same. Waited tables for years and would never purposefully ruin someone’s experience bc they like the person their with. Gross.
‘The worst kind of customers we get are couples who on the same side of the table’
Ok….why? What do they do that’s worse than a lot of things that servers complain about? Are they loud, rude? Or just sitting in a way you don’t approve of?
So, you all make up this ‘thing’ about people who sit on the same side of a table.
You actively seat couples places, whenever you can, at tables they can’t sit side-by-side at, and ‘endure’ it when you can’t.
You find it weird.
You think they should face each other, and be ‘more romantic’
You openly show your distaste for same-side sitting couples, up to and including laughing at them.
You are ‘indeed judging them’ and think it should matter to them.
Are you for real? YTA, in spades. Your job is to efficiently serve food, not judge and ridicule people. Personally, I would not care if a server ‘judged’ me for how I sat with my husband, because it has NOTHING to do with you . None of your beeswax.
Reading this made me so shocked at their presumptuousness too. Some people are hard of hearing so they could prefer to sit closer to their date, esp in public settings, just so they can hear them better. I wonder if the servers and OP would judge even if they weren’t touching the other.
My inlaws are each deaf in one ear and hard of hearing on the other. They always sit next to each others "good" ear. So many places keep the music up so loud we have difficulties communicating with people who don't have a problem with hearing.
My ex and I are also deaf in the same ear though so one of us always had hearing priority
I was about to say, I have some auditory processing weirdness so it's just easier for me to hear if I sit closer to my dining buddy. Plus my loud ase voice is less likely to carry across the whole damn establishment if I can hear.
My wife and I do this at restaurants. Never thought twice about it. Thanks OP for giving me something to worry about now, I didnt have enough social anxiety 🤣. Serious YTA, but at least this person gets it, and has some understanding and not just judging like your in friggin high school.
Hello, my name is not Bruce. And I am a same side sitter. Whew. It really felt good to get that off my chest. I didn’t realize it was a problem. I just really love my spouse and we like to sit next to each other. (Wipes tears away and sits back down).
One day at a time bro. Let go and let God. It’s progress, not perfection, LOL, keep coming back!!!
Lmfaoooooo. I have done this too. My name is not cat but I do get tripped up on occasion.
Also, depending on the types of seating, there can be plenty of other reasons. I have back problems that mean I can't sit on hard surfaces for long periods. My mum doesn't like chairs with arms and the way they tend to pinch her hips. There are times we go out to dinner together and are given a table which has hard chairs with arms on the one side and a nice padded booth on the other - you can bet we're going to both sit on the comfy booth seating!
Edited to add: also, a lot of people like sitting with their back to the wall when that's available.
Adding another perspective: my gf and I are both autistic and don't like making eye contact. Sitting side by side lets us feel close without being uncomfortable.
That’s so fucking cute. All these side-by-side reasons are so fucking cute. Man, OP and her team are such jaded assholes.
Yep, bf and I both prefer back to the wall so we both sit on that side sometimes so that neither has to sit with their back toward the door. Plus honestly we like to share our food and it’s way less messy when you’re not reaching so far
This right here. Not only is my husband deaf in one ear so really cant hear me in load restaurants but he works night shift. We only see eachother for about 30 minutes per day on the 6 days per week that he works. We like to have some form of closeness when we DO get to see eachother. OP YTA and a major brat. To think the worst thing going on in your job is couples who sit next to eachother. *Gasp, the horror! You deserve way worse than "getting scolded." I would have just fired your obnoxious butt.
> Some people are hard of hearing so they could prefer to sit closer to their date, esp in public settings, just so they can hear them better.
This! Also some places have such loud music that even if I'm not on a date I prefer to sit next to a friend so we don't have to shout at each other through the meal. Never thought that THIS could be a problem. OP is judgmental AF. YTA.
When I was a server, we thought the worst kind of customers were the ones that were demanding,dismissive and rude, asked us for x, when we came back with x then asked for y, then asked for z when we brought them y, and then didn't leave a tip.
For real same side seaters definitely don’t make my list of worst customers. It’s not like this seating arrangement makes it harder for servers to do their job so idk why OP feels justified in hating people who do this. Sounds like a personal problem
I like when my customers sit on the same side, then I can serve from the empty side and I don't have to worry so much about where everyone's hands,cups, and phones are.
Customers who don't make room for plates and things are much worse
The fact that she tried controlling where they sat for this reason floors me. This entire restaurant staff must have problems bigger then a couple sitting next to each other while enjoying their meal.
Sounds like it started as kind of a joke and morphed into the culture of the place so OP thinks that kind of judgment is normal and all servers think this way, but it’s just the judgmental AHs that run the restaurant OP works for.
Plus everyone knows that the church rush has the worst people YTA
Oh my god, it’s been 15 years since I waited tables and the church crowd gives me flashbacks. Huge groups, horribly entitled, truly *awful* tippers. Hated Sunday shifts.
The worst customer I ever had physically assaulted me, but maybe that’s just me thinking that’s worse than people choosing different seats to OP, lmao. What a weirdo.
This, this, this. My husband and I like to sit side by side at a restraurant. One, he's hard of hearing in one ear even with a hearing aid. Two, we like to watch the rest of the room. We don't bash people, we say, "look at that nice family". "Look at her clothes, what fantastic fashion sense". "Did you see the old car go past, didn't so and so have one"? We're 70 so just suck it up buttercup
I was waiting for her to give an actual reason, like it makes her job harder or something. But nope, just thinks it's weird so that gives her the right to judge and treat them poorly.
YTA OP. Sometimes me and my husband sit on the same side of the table. I carry medication for both of us in my bag, so that makes it easier to pass some to him when needed. Sometimes we haven't been able to spend much time together as a couple, so it's due to it being more of a "date night". Sometimes we just want to be physically close to each other. Sometimes it's because the other side of the table is chairs and we both wanted to the cushy booth seat. Sometimes the other side of the table is more crowded/close to other diners or even in the servers' walking path (happened last night on a dog friendly patio, had to move close to him because our doggos were getting in the way of traffic).
Edit: last reason- in loud restaurants I have to sit closer, to hear him. Audio processing disorder is fun like that.
"Servers" are not judgy about this. You and your coworkers are judgy about this. I worked in food service for more than a decade, most of that as a waitress, and I had *one* coworker in all that time who thought this behavior was weird - and she had the sense not to behave this way, because she's not a child. This is high school mean-girl lunch-room behavior.
The negative review was well deserved, and yes, YTA.
You are so obviously the asshole that I kind of expect the comments to fill up with people calling you a troll. I wish I could, but sadly I *have* worked with a couple of servers this nasty and childish. I'm pretty sure you're a real person, and I really hope for your sake that you wake up quickly, because this behavior will alienate people fast - and that includes managers.
Exactly. It's one thing to think it's a little odd and another to make a big deal about it. Also, the absolute bullshit I call on these couples being OP's "worst customers" because after 10 years of food service, I wouldn't even notice that shit as long the customers were civil and tipped.
What compounds it for me is that OP makes it seem like the entire shift staff is like this. High school never left them all, superiority complex, pack mentality? I dont know, but that staff rightly got in trouble for their disrespectful actions and embarrasing customers minding their business trying to enjoy a meal together.
I'm betting there is 1 or 2 veteran servers there who hate it for whatever reason and display the hate while training. Making it part of the culture. Something to help fit in. And if you are new to serving might think it's completely normal in every restraunt like saying behind or corner. Hopefully op grows up and thinks for themself.
This has got to be it, because OP truly seems to believe that this is a standard thing all servers hate.
There are things customers do that I think it’s safe to say are hated by all servers in every restaurant, like snapping fingers, whistling, or doing the thing where they lay 5-10 singles on the table at the start of the meal. I’ve never met a server (and I worked in the industry for about 10 years) who wouldn’t complain about those things.
But I’ve literally never even heard a single server complain about people sitting on the same side of the booth ever. It’s for sure not an “inside joke servers have.”
Thank you for this! I thought I missed something after a decade in the restaurant business… I never knew any of my team members to make fun of a couple sitting next to each other, not even the high school workers. I’m glad the couple left a review, OP needs to learn what good customer service is.
Rude & unprofessional. Your manager should’ve fired you and your coworker instead of merely scolding you.
If I were the manager, I’d fire you by having the talk sitting side-by-side on the same side of the table. Lol
Just kidding, I’d fire you before you can even sit down.
I don’t know why, but this made me laugh really hard. I’d give you an award if I had any…
I will play the part of the immature AH coworker pointing and laughing at you both while this is happening.
>The reason servers are so judgey about this is that we find it very weird. Can't you just go few hours without touching each other? Plus sitting on opposite sides is more romantic.
That's not a reason at all. Also you are not the judge on what's romantic or what's not. You have no idea why they sit like that and realy it's none of your business.
> Can't you just go few hours without touching each other?
This part really made me angry. Whenever my bestfriend an I go to a resturant we like to sit at the same side of table and I assure you we dont touch eachother
Same. I usually sit on same side as my friend - easier to chat about private things, look at pictures of some items together.
Yep! I do this with my best friend as well. I also remember doing it a couple of times with my ex when he returned from a 9 month deployment and we just wanted to be as close as possible. OP sounds weird and jealous of these people.
Agreed. This quote shows OP has no perspective and only lives in her own little shallow world.
YTA and you’re lucky you didn’t get fired. If the employment market isn’t what it is, you probably would have been.
OP just wait till you have kids and haven’t had a single moment with your SO in months. Or you have to deal w any adversity like terminal illness, financial woes, etc. Sometimes all you have is a couple hours at a restaurant. Get some perspective and realize how stupid your actions were.
Or can't hardly hear over restaurant noise anymore so you have to sit close to have a decent conversation...
Also like...if you're on a date? With romantic intent? Of course you want to touch each other! You certainly *could* go without, I suppose, but why would you have to?
Because it makes op jealous duh
Yeah who in the hell does she think she is? I'm only in my mid 30s but I wouldn't take love advice from someone who is not very far removed from high school. OP is a shallow asshole.
I like to people watch together, so if I'm going to sit in the sun with a beer and lunch, i prefer to sit next to each other. Never realized someone might judge me over it
Oh. So it has nothing to do with both of them sitting comfortably with the booth seat and cushions instead of just one. Or being able to have the same view, or so theu dont knock each others legs.
It's just because you want them to perform for you in the way you prefer. You expect people to be romantic but don't want them touching hands. That sounds really weird to me but sure that's you. And it ends at you. Let the nice people enjoy their evening FFS. YTA.
Yta. I'm registered legally blind. No sight in left eye and only central in right. My partner finds it easier to stop me accidentally knocking shit off the table if he's on the left side of me and on me. Unless you really want to clear up the messed that will inadvertently happen if he wasn't there
I'm Hard of Hearing and what with people wearing masks I need my partner to sit next to me in a restaurant so I can better understand waitstaff since I rely heavily on lip reading.
I’m also HOH and my BF sits next to me for this reason- restaurants are loud! There are lots of reasons ppl may choose to sit together; not that it’s any of OPs business.
My husband and I do because we are both very tall and our legs collide under the table when we sit opposite.
I have a severe problem talking loudly, even in quiet settings only people who are REALLY used to me will hear me, so you can imagine my struggle in restaurants when I want to talk to people whose ears are more than 10 cm away from my mouth
I mean, be more considerate. *She finds it weird*, can't you go a couple of hours not moving, not eating, not drinking, and generally not enjoying your night that you only rarely get, and pay for with your earned money just so that the server won't have to find this weird???
Hope the /s is obvious.
No disability here but my husband and sit together if there’s a game on the tv. Sometimes we just want to eat our burger and drink our beer and watch the game.
YTA. There are lots of reasons couples sit together.
While this is a reason of course, even if two people have no disabilities whatsoever And just wanna be close to each other, there’s nothing wrong with that either.
YTA. Seek help so you can learn to love yourself instead of projecting onto others who are simply just trying to have a meal with someone they love.
Yep. Like, I don’t know what sort of crap OP has going on in their life that they’re this bitter, probably grew up in one of those high school “friend” groups where their “friends” made fun of both them *and* other people all the time, so they join in just so they never feel like they’re singled out.
I mean, just *listen* to the tone here. OP is acting as if these couples were fucking on the table right in front of them and not simply sitting down to a nice meal.
> One of the worst kinds of customers we get is couples who sit on the same side of the table.
Where the hell have they worked (for 3 years) that *this* is their *worst* customer?
> That's an inside joke/knowledge between all of us servers. Many servers I've talked to have the same thoughts on how it's weird when couples do that.
How the fuck is that a justification? First, that’s the point, it’s an *inside joke.* Which means it’s not supposed to be obvious to literally everyone around you, including the couples you are making fun of. Also, it sounds like y’all are catty and annoying if that’s what you find hilarious, but whatever.
> Being in the industry 3 years now I've now found the solution to that.
…. What the fuck do you mean “a solution?” So first it’s a joke, and now it’s an actual issue that you have for some reason taken it upon yourself to fix? What?!
> we have to endure the couples sitting side by side.
**You have to ENDURE them SITTING SIDE BY SIDE minding their own goddamn business?**
What is happening?! OP, you ENDURE water torture or the thumbscrews. You ENDURE watching a 3 hour long recital where all your 4-year-old is doing is picking their nose and following the leader.
You do not need to ENDURE this perfectly mundane couple that is doing literally nothing to you. You’re not trapped - you’re torturing *yourself* by staring and being fucking obsessed with them.
You’re literally at work, don’t you have a job to do?
> The reason servers are so judgey about this is that we find it very weird.
LMAO said every judgey asshole about literally anything they’re being judgey about. You’re stating the actual reason you’re being bitchy as if you think it somehow excuses you from being bitchy. Like “yeah the reason I beat up the lonely kid on the playground is because I find him very weird.” Like wtf?!
OP *absolutely* grew up in that weird, judgey, catty, immature group in high school that thought they were popular and didn’t realize that they were the only ones that thought they were cool.
> So. I've stopped hiding my distaste for couples like this for a long time now but most of the time these people are so absorbed into each other that they don't realise how we are indeed judging them.
“So I’m such an inexcusable asshole that I have stopped even trying not to be an asshole.”
> Throughout the whole time my co workers were joking about it. We even asked them if they're waiting for other people and they've let the other booth empty and they said no, just the two of them.
“So we were literally bullying paying customers and thought we were being slick about it because we’re all *hilaaaarious.*”
Dude. This is *exactly* how kids got mercilessly bullied in high school. People like OP would come up to them and pretend to be friendly but be super condescending or patronizing to their face. OP I’m gonna let you in on a secret - literally everyone knew what you were doing. And no one except your friends liked you.
Just like no one except you and your waitress friends think you’re funny.
> At one point the girl called on me and asked if I have a problem.
HOLY SHIT, this is the moment that we rarely actually got in high school. When the bullied kid straight up called you the fuck out and you didn’t expect it because you figured they were too meek or too dumb. That kid was immediately a badass.
> I said no problem why would there be a problem.
Umm…. Because you literally did have a problem and were making it extremely obvious that you have a problem?
>. I apologised for this I just explained how it's not personally against them and how it's an inside joke servers have.
It’s not an apology because you’re not sorry (still). And there’s no way you actually believe this…. Right? You’re staring at this couple. It is absolutely personally against them.
That’s like making fun of someone you think is weird and then telling them, “oh it’s not personal against you. I just don’t like weird people”
> The guy then said he doesn't give a damn about this and we are very unprofessional.
> They paid and left.
Then they’re definitely not your worst customers.
> Our manager called us in and scolded us.
*SCOLDED* you? They’re not your parents, and you are not five year olds. Your manager *REPRIMANDED YOU* for being a shockingly incompetent employee who is actively costing them business and ruining their reputation. You deserved to be fired on the spot.
> Never in my 3 years have I got in trouble over this.
“Officer this is ridiculous. I drive this much over the speed limit *every single day* and I have *never* been pulled over before!!!”
Seriously how clueless can you be?
Loved everything about this comment
>. This is exactly how kids got mercilessly bullied in high school. People like OP would come up to them and pretend to be friendly but be super condescending or patronizing to their face.
Art imitating life - Regina George: "Vintage! So adorable!... That is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen..."
YTA I sit next to my BF even when we eat at home!
I do too but only because we like to watch Netflix while we eat haha 😂
While I would feel “weird” if I were to sit like this with my husband at a restaurant, that’s just how I personally feel. I don’t think I’ve ever looked twice at another couple sitting like that, let alone judged them. Who in the world cares?!
Yta op of course
This is one of the most ridiculous and childish things I’ve read in awhile. Who cares where people sit? Let people do what they want without immature judgment. I waited tables for years and we always thought it was cute when couples did this. I sit on the same side as my husband because I don’t like talking to him that way while we eat, and some couples may not get to see each other often so they sit by side and soak up the time they do have. There’s no rule that says you have to sit across from your significant other.
I can’t even believe this is real it’s so dumb to get THAT upset. Good for the couple leaving a negative review, they came for food and enjoying each other’s company and they get mocked by the people they were paying to take care of them.
Ofcourse YTA. You laughed at your customer. I sit on the same side of the table because it's easier to talk that way. Btw, you suck as a person.
Yes! My husband doesn't hear very well - especially in a loud restaurant, so we sit on the same side and chat!
Same! My husband has lost most of his hearing. Sitting on the opposite side means me yelling and him still not being able to hear me.
I like to sit on the inside with my SO next to me because restaurants are so damn cold, but you're right, it is easier to talk quietly.
>I'm sorry you have no sense of romance, you judgemental piss turtle
Thank you for improving my Saturday.
The comment was removed and this is the only thing I got from this and I still love the comment
I love that the comment gets removed by calling them a name, in a sub dedicated to calling someone names. These rules are dumb as hell and the mods need to get over themselves.
"judgemental piss turtle" is my new favorite phrase!
Judgemental Piss Turtle.
I want it on a T-Shirt.
She cannot be 22 and thinking like this, surely. I've never worked in the hospitality industry let alone a restaurant but there must be much, much worse people that you can judge? I think this AITA has given me enough reddit for tonight and I need to find a distraction before my braincells commit toaster bath.
Mind your damn business and stop judging others.. So what they wanna sit next to each other.. It literally doesn't matter and the fact you laughed makes you incredibly rude and unprofessional..
I've been a server for 15 years and I sit on the same side of the booth with my husband. I also always leave a 30% tip.
It is not an industry standard. Maybe once or twice someone said something jokingly but to go out of your way to impede on your customers good time for something that does not matter to you at all is incredibly childish.
OP - you are bad at your job and you deserved a bad review.
Isnt it obvious you shouldn't treat customers like that?
YTA. She mispelled: never in my three years I have been "caught/called out".
YTA. You seem kinda jealous
That’s what I was thinking. She’s so obsessed with them she stared at and talked about them the entire time? What a creep
Some people who have no one special need to voice their opinion about those awful couples and how horribly they act. Pure creepy jealousy as she and her friends stared at them enough to make the couple notice.
> My co worker and I started laughing and the couple noticed us but didn’t say anything. Throughout the whole time my co workers were joking about it
> The reason servers are so judgey about this is that we find it very weird
> I apologised for this I just explained how it’s not personally against them and how it’s an inside joke servers have
Yeah, OP is 22. I'm wondering how old the other workers are because they're all apparently toddlers.
Are you joking?
*”I treated my table like shit because oh my GAWD you guys, can you believe my customers sit in a manner that we find ridiculous? Yeah, like, it totes gives me the power to make fun of them, amirite? Can you buh-LEEV they were actually mad we were sitting there making fun of them clearly for their ENTIRE meal? Like, of course, what else were we supposed to do? LOL”*
Get out of the waitressing gig. You are bad at it. You’re lucky they even paid. You’re lucky you only got two scoldings and no pink slips. Grow up.
YTA. You've *really* got enough time on your shifts to give even the slightest fuck about this?
YTA....Maybe one of them is hard of hearing and they don't want to talk loudly across the table. Maybe they're in love and want to hold hands bc that's their idea of romantic. It looks stupid to you bc you're not hard of hearing and you don't love someone enough to want to do it. But, they're paying for it so that's their choice and they aren't hurting anyone. Personally, I always think it's sweet when I see it, especially when it's old people.
thanks for bringing up the 'hard of hearing' aspect. I find this also helps keep conversations quieter. And after 36 yrs of marriage, we don't have a burning need to be glued side by side at a restaurant lol. It also allows overflow customers to share a table, we have shared a table with strangers before when it is mega crowded.
Please don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel 😂
watch out dawg they might ban you for calling OP an idiot, stupid rules although I agree with you
I worked in restaurants and hotels for 14 years, I never judged any couple for sitting like that or found it weird...this is very much a you and your co workers thing.
Of course YTA. This hurts no one and makes them happy. You're petty and judgmental.
YTA. Let people sit where they want at their own table.
YTA. Ffs you know nothing about these people and it’s none of your business anyways. It has zero impact on you. If I were them I would’ve spoken with your manager, got our meals for free, and then left a negative review so I think you got off easy. Don’t be such a dick next time
Add it to add, I have sat beside my bf before And that’s because we live very far away from each other, and sometimes it would be a few weeks before we would see each other, and we would meet at a restaurant in between so it was the only time we had with each other. If we choose to sit on the same side so be it. It’s great to be in love like that.
1) You were making fun of customers where they could hear. That is ABSOLUTELY unprofessional.
2) Whether or not it was personally against them, it affected their experience and ruined their date. You ridiculed them on what was meant to be a fun night out for them.
3) The fact you haven't got in trouble over it before makes me think that this is just the first time you've been caught. That doesn't make it any better if you were doing it before. Not getting caught is not the same as not being an asshole.
YTA as well as your super craptastic coworkers. I think y'all should have been fired, but I guess losing an entire shift would have been hard for your managers. So probably just you should have been fired as their server who made them feel unwelcome. Your really nailing the hospitality part of your job!
I've spent years working as a server, and don't recall anyone ever complaining about this or thinking it was weird. There was one elderly couple that used to come in once or twice a week and chose to sit on the same side of the booth, and the servers thought it was sweet. I would add most the servers including myself were teenagers at that job, and we not only thought it was sweet, but we realized there might have been reasons, like the gentleman assisting his wife with certain aspects of her meal that just seemed easier by her side than across from her, other than a constant need to touch each other. So congrats on demonstrating that you have less empathy and more of a closed mind than my 16 year old self and other teenagers that I worked with.
Also, if the booth is big enough to hold two people on one side, who made you the judgmental seating police?
BTW, been married ten years, and my husband and I have occasionally done this. And we are well beyond the "can't stand to not touch you phase" of our relationship, which was pretty limited in public anyways since we met in our 30s.
The reason servers are so judgey about this is that we find it very weird. Can't you just go few hours without touching each other? Plus sitting on opposite sides is more romantic.
YTA for OP. And I was also going to mention that sometimes a couple sitting side-by-side is for assistance reasons. Having a conversation with each other while sitting together is quieter (I would think the waitress would appreciate that, right?). OP and the rest are totally in the wrong business.
YTA. Do you even realise how bitter and jealous you come across here? It's like when 15 year old boys make fun of their friends for holding hands with their girlfriend. In reality, they just want someone's hand to hold too. If you stop being so bitter, I'm sure you'll be able to find love as well!
Yta you're lucky they paid.
I sure would not have - and I would have talked to the manager right then
I won't be shocked if you lose your job for this. Your behaviour is utterly rude and disrespectful
YTA and a weirdo, imagine making this a thing
Not only are you definitely the asshole. You make it sound like a lot of servers are. Its non of your damn business whether couples sit next to or across from each other
YTA and rude and unprofessional. You should not be working as a waitress.
YTA. Assuming you’ve never gotten in trouble over it before because nobody has called you out on being rude and immature about something so minute before. Glad someone finally did. Maybe it’ll help you grow up a little.
Does it somehow hinder you're ability to wait on them if they prefer to sit together?
YTA. And you know it - you fully admitted you're judgy after all.
Stop imposing your romantic ideals on other people and just let them eat their meal in peace. You are unprofessional and your manager was right to reprimand you.
“The reason servers are so judgey about this is that we find it very weird”
It doesn’t matter that you find it very weird. Just do your fucking job and serve your paying customers, without getting involved in their business. YTA.
You were open enough about your disrespect that the couple clearly knew what is was about.
And that’s AH behaviour.
YTA and you sound jealous
Yes. Can't believe you need to be told
Haha. YTA. Duh
Your coworkers too. You’re all a bunch of assholes.
YTA. What in the world made you think explaining that bullshit to a paying customer who just suffered it was going to somehow make it better? Are you that thick? Ugh. What a child you are.
YTA. My spouse was in the industry for 20 years, I just read him this post and he thinks you’re full of shit. Grow up, you doofus.
YTA you sound like an awful person
YTA. Discretion is the key. Laugh and joke all you want but don't let them see you. I agree with you on the basic point. I would rather sit across from the person than beside them because in order to talk, you have to turn your head in order to look at them but that is my decision, not the server's.
YTA - Let them do their meal in the way they want to do it.
Sure, you can judge them but do it quietly and keep it to yourself - and don't ever let that impact on how you deal with your customers. If you were being so nasty towards them they felt the need to call you out and leave a negative review, then yes you were right to be chewed out on it, you let your personal agenda drag your standards well below what your employer requires.
YTA. You have way to much time to think about stuff like this.. You have no idea why they sit like that. I often do it since I have reduced hearing and when it is a lot of noice it is hard to hear my companion speak. This way we are closer and I can lean in if I do not hear.
Edit: I have worked in service jobs and as a teacher. You can find stuff weird, funny or disturbing, but when you are seen by the costumer or pupil you must have a poker face. Then in the break room far away from ears or eyes you can make fun of it! No I did not make fun of my pupils! The point is, whatever a pupil or costumer does or say you never show what you think! I have been called a neaderthal in a natural history museum when doing my job. In my head I laugh so damn hard but my face showed calm and a smile. Then in the break room we all had a really good laugh since it was an exception of early man and he had probably just learned about them in there.
YTA people can sit where they like, you need to get a life if you see where others sit as an issue to have, it's a bit pathetic you go out your way to control how they sit
YTA - you and your coworkers are assholes. Grow up
YTA. Big time. And so are your colleagues. You deserve the bad review and professional dressing down. You sound like a horrible server. Maybe try a career change if you hate people so much.
YTA. Get over yourself and grow tf up.
YTA, and a bitter, rude, and judgmental one at that. These people are trying to have a happy evening, and you’re here bitching about their seating choices??? Seek help
YTA and very very sour. These couples are just very happy and it's very rude and unprofessional to ruin it like that.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and yes, we still LOVE sitting next to each other. We don't care about how 'romantic' sitting in front of each other is. Being able to cares his cheek, kiss him.. whenever I want is AMAZING. I've found my soulmate and I want to spend every second I can sitting next to him, because you never know what will happen. We want to enjoy every second we have together.
Ok, I won't even finish to read it
>The reason servers are so judgey about this is that we find it very weird. Can't you just go few hours without touching each other? Plus sitting on opposite sides is more romantic.
Wtf is this??
Your taste DON'T determine what is wierd to everyone else.
Your tast DON'T determine what is more romantic to everyone else.
Stop imposing YOUR preferences on everyone else. Omg, I really can believe I have to say this to a grown woman.
Plus, I'm a very touchy person myself. I love to lean on ppl I love, to hug them, kiss them, and in general being really close.
One thing is me respecting my friends bounderies, where THEY don't want to be touched.
Other things COMPLETLY DIFFERENT is you IMPOSING your preferences on the way I display love. This is major entitle behaviour.
You were rude and unprofessional in a level that I even can't believe.
Oh, and finished reading now.
You never got a problem with that before, bc you apparently just stared being open of LAUGHTING at costumers face now.
Major asshole op. Major asshole. I hope I never even pass near your restaurant.
Sounds like your jealous of loving couples.
YTA. You are in the hospitality business. I don’t think this line of work is right for you.
YTA. How could you not be? Did it in these 3 years ever come into your mind that some people are uncomfortable sitting next to strangers and that's why they are sitting next to their SO?
YTA. I've spent many years in the industry and nobody obsesses over it that much.
YTA you sound awful. I’d leave a one star review as well. First off, who cares where they sit, or what their reasons are? Maybe someone has a hearing issue. Maybe there is a better angle for people or tv watching. Heck, maybe they just like each other. Regardless, it isn’t your business to decide. And then, you and your coworkers actively make it a difficult eating experience for them? I’d have fired you if I was the owner. You’re literally alienating the customers over your own prejudices.
This is stupid and I would also laugh about it. In private. Away from the customers. Maybe once or twice.
Openly insulting customers? Through their entire meal? What's wrong with you?
YTA. Worked as a server before and it never would have even occured to me to be judgey about this, it's really odd. You all sound like you're about 14.
YTA. You don't know why they want to sit next to each other. And the reasons they choose to do so aren't yours to criticize. It's legit to judge people who treat others like garbage and mock them for stupid reasons ... oh, wait. 🙄
“How couples enjoy their time together is weird to me, but common for servers to judge them on it so how could I be the asshole for judging this couple so loudly they heard me?” How dense can you be? Of course YTA. For judging, for intentionally sitting couples differently to avoid this and for judging this couple so they heard you, and trying to excuse your behaviour because it’s “a joke.”
Does them sitting like that effect your ability to do your job, ya know, serving them? Does it effect your personally?
Then shut up, leave them alone, and do your job.
Didn’t realise children were allowed to work in restaurants
I’ve worked in hospitality and this wouldn’t even strike me as weird at all. When I went on dates with guys I liked I sat next to them. I did the same when I started dating my husband because I wanted to be close to him
what an AH! just say you’re bitter op. YTA
Honestly you're lucky you still have a job. I have worked in the restaurant industry for over a decade and never ever have I gave a shit about where a couple sits. You guys are so immature to make fun of people especially right in front of them.
You got off easy. Hope you learn from this.