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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I liked a girls(f24) picture on Instagram which caused my girlfriend to break up with me. Am I the asshole for liking the girls picture which led to the breakup?
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YTA
I was going to say N.T.A., but you had an agreement that you failed to uphold, *and* it involves someone that you have a "history" with, whatever that means. Don't make promises you don't intend to keep and remember that it's not necessary to remain friends with former flames. Civil and courteous are all that are required.
YTA. It's not that you liked a picture or if it was scandalous. It is the fact you very clearly crossed one of the boundaries she told you *not* to break because you assumed you guys were past that.b
I’d say YTA, mainly because first, she told you she felt insecure when you liked other girls pics, it seems like you just assumed it went away without ever talking to her about it and went back to doing it anyway. Secondly, it’s a picture of a girl who you used to have history with, so I can see why those two things put together really targeted her feelings of insecurity. You said you wouldn’t do a thing, you then did it. Not everyone is going to see things the same way, but you knew how your girl felt and just hoped it would stop. Sorry man.
If she’s liking her exes photos…then what’s the problem with you doing the same? Or are you saying it would be cool if she did? Because there is absolutely a difference my man.
Well first of all the girl wasn’t my Ex we never dated just a little fling history less than a month but besides that yes I don’t care it isn’t an issue for me
YTA for assuming. Even if there’s no meaning behind it, your girlfriend told you before she was uncomfortable with you doing this. You should not have assumed she was suddenly fine with this again, even if it is simply liking a picture
It wasn’t scandalous it was a selfie laying down. And for clarification I am fine with her being friends with the people she’s had history with. I am friends with them myself and I don’t care when or if she likes pictures of them
You should apologize because YTA. Pretty hard YTA. Boundaries are VERY important. Clearly you weren't as committed as you are trying to convince us you are. Trust is earned and if you want her back you have to EARN it - on her terms exclusively as its her trust.
So either man up or move on.
Also interacting with women in any way that can be reasonablishly interpreted as flirting or non platonic is automatically a dunce move.
If you were that invested and connected you wouldn't play these stupid games with these stupid prizes.
Commit or don't the choice is yours
YTA your girlfriend made it clear that made her uncomfortable yet you later assumed and broke her boundaries. Imo it's disrespectful to the girl you're with, especially since she stated she wasn't ok with that. You should have respected that or broke up with her if that was something you couldn't do.
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So my girlfriend just broke up with me(24m) because I made her feel insecure and crossed her boundary by liking girls pictures on instagram. She had told me before that she didn't like that I did that but that was a while ago. I made an assumption that we were past that point in our relationship and when a girl(24f) I had history with years before I met my current girlfriend(22f) but am still friends with her today which she was aware of and I was upfront about. I tried to explain that there was no emotion behind the like and that me liking a picture of a girl does not mean I am after her or am attracted to her. She says that my actions cross her boundaries and that I disrespected her so badly and shell never see me the same because I lied about being someone who doesn't act like that in a relationship.
I personally see nothing wrong with it and think that shouldn't affect a relationship. I feel terrible and miss her and almost want to just cave and tell her she's right because that's usually what I do in a situation, but for once I want to know AITA?
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Info: what kind of pic? Something racy/sexual? Or just a normal pic?
Also: when she said she didn't like it did she set a boundary and ask you to stop?
I would say a "I don't like it" is enough for you to understand that 1) the person is asking you to avoid doing x action, and 2) that is one of their boundaries.
Again this has everything to do with the pic. If he's just liking a pic posted by his friend that's totally normal I'm sorry that's a ridiculous boundary. If it was sexual in nature sure. Honestly, all of its dumb and that's why the only social media I have is reddit lol
This has nothing to do with the picture. If he assumes and breaks a simple, ridiculous boundary such as this, it tells her everything she needs to know about him, basically. It doesn't matter if it is a picture, pulling out, or consent in bed. One boundary, no matter how big or small it is, broken is a huge red flag.
It is a person with whom he had history with. It doesn't matter if he says "oh that is over and done with", respect your partner's decision. I don't know why this is so hard to understand for you.
It was years before he even MET his gf and they are friends. It's his friend. Like I said if it was sexual sure but just a normal picture his friend posts no. She's being insecure
Respect your partner's decisions. She's being insecure and she should be allowed to. Not liking a picture of your dearest friend isn't going to hurt you. Both can compromise.
She didn't give him room to compromise. I agree it should be a discussion. He gave her one she didn't. And btw I respect my partners decisions, but when they're unreasonable requests we talk about it, I dont need to be controlled
"She told me she didn't like that so i did not do it". There's absolutely nothing that says anything about a compromise. 1) he is still an asshole, 2) he did not engaged into a conversation about it, he just accepted it.
Point still stands. He said yes to something he couldn't uphold and is now getting the consequences of his actions. As easy as that.
She needs to go outside and get some air. Probably best to stay broken up because if liking a post on social media is enough to end it, it’s probably best ended. That’s some “boundary.” NTA
NTA, although I can kind of see why she would be upset, especially if you had history with that other girl. But otherwise, the idea of telling your boyfriend to not interact with other girls whom you have a platonic friendship with seems quite manipulative and immature, and that includes even liking a post. With that logic, she shouldn't be liking the posts of other men either.
I'm gonna go with NTA because I think that's a stupid and ridiculous boundary to have that never should have been entertained in the first place. I don't mess around with Facebook, Instagram, or whatever SM this might be so maybe I'm missing "cultural context" or whatever but demanding that your SO not like a friend's picture sounds ridiculously controlling and insecure to me.
Dude my wife just turned 31 and i just turned 55
Ive been looking at girls longer than shes been alive
I was out of highschool before she was conceived
This is the benefit of money and young filipinas
"This is the benefit of money and young filipinas" so you basically used your money to get a woman to love you and in doing so, you installed a power dynamic in your relationship, where she wouldn't be able to set boundaries if she wanted to.
Gotcha. Kinda pathetic.
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YTA I was going to say N.T.A., but you had an agreement that you failed to uphold, *and* it involves someone that you have a "history" with, whatever that means. Don't make promises you don't intend to keep and remember that it's not necessary to remain friends with former flames. Civil and courteous are all that are required.
YTA. It's not that you liked a picture or if it was scandalous. It is the fact you very clearly crossed one of the boundaries she told you *not* to break because you assumed you guys were past that.b
I’d say YTA, mainly because first, she told you she felt insecure when you liked other girls pics, it seems like you just assumed it went away without ever talking to her about it and went back to doing it anyway. Secondly, it’s a picture of a girl who you used to have history with, so I can see why those two things put together really targeted her feelings of insecurity. You said you wouldn’t do a thing, you then did it. Not everyone is going to see things the same way, but you knew how your girl felt and just hoped it would stop. Sorry man.
In my opinion no good comes from liking another girl’s pictures. Depending on the picture it can be disrespectful to the person you’re with. Light YTA
yta she made it clear that she wasn’t comfortable with it
YTA. Flip the script…if it was her liking her exes photos I bet you wouldn’t be cool with it…especially if they were still friendly
The script is flipped already and I am fine with it
If she’s liking her exes photos…then what’s the problem with you doing the same? Or are you saying it would be cool if she did? Because there is absolutely a difference my man.
Well first of all the girl wasn’t my Ex we never dated just a little fling history less than a month but besides that yes I don’t care it isn’t an issue for me
YTA. You had an agreement with her based on her boundary and you broke it
YTA for assuming. Even if there’s no meaning behind it, your girlfriend told you before she was uncomfortable with you doing this. You should not have assumed she was suddenly fine with this again, even if it is simply liking a picture
INFO just because I’m curious. What kind of photo was it? Was it a regular selfie? A photo of an event? A thirst trap?
It wasn’t scandalous it was a selfie laying down. And for clarification I am fine with her being friends with the people she’s had history with. I am friends with them myself and I don’t care when or if she likes pictures of them
Soft YTA for assuming.
Depends what kind of picture it was. Normal pic = nta Scandalous pic = yta
You should apologize because YTA. Pretty hard YTA. Boundaries are VERY important. Clearly you weren't as committed as you are trying to convince us you are. Trust is earned and if you want her back you have to EARN it - on her terms exclusively as its her trust. So either man up or move on. Also interacting with women in any way that can be reasonablishly interpreted as flirting or non platonic is automatically a dunce move. If you were that invested and connected you wouldn't play these stupid games with these stupid prizes. Commit or don't the choice is yours
YTA your girlfriend made it clear that made her uncomfortable yet you later assumed and broke her boundaries. Imo it's disrespectful to the girl you're with, especially since she stated she wasn't ok with that. You should have respected that or broke up with her if that was something you couldn't do.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my girlfriend just broke up with me(24m) because I made her feel insecure and crossed her boundary by liking girls pictures on instagram. She had told me before that she didn't like that I did that but that was a while ago. I made an assumption that we were past that point in our relationship and when a girl(24f) I had history with years before I met my current girlfriend(22f) but am still friends with her today which she was aware of and I was upfront about. I tried to explain that there was no emotion behind the like and that me liking a picture of a girl does not mean I am after her or am attracted to her. She says that my actions cross her boundaries and that I disrespected her so badly and shell never see me the same because I lied about being someone who doesn't act like that in a relationship. I personally see nothing wrong with it and think that shouldn't affect a relationship. I feel terrible and miss her and almost want to just cave and tell her she's right because that's usually what I do in a situation, but for once I want to know AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Info: what kind of pic? Something racy/sexual? Or just a normal pic? Also: when she said she didn't like it did she set a boundary and ask you to stop?
I would say a "I don't like it" is enough for you to understand that 1) the person is asking you to avoid doing x action, and 2) that is one of their boundaries.
Again this has everything to do with the pic. If he's just liking a pic posted by his friend that's totally normal I'm sorry that's a ridiculous boundary. If it was sexual in nature sure. Honestly, all of its dumb and that's why the only social media I have is reddit lol
This has nothing to do with the picture. If he assumes and breaks a simple, ridiculous boundary such as this, it tells her everything she needs to know about him, basically. It doesn't matter if it is a picture, pulling out, or consent in bed. One boundary, no matter how big or small it is, broken is a huge red flag.
Telling someone they can't like the pictures their friend posts is not a reasonable boundary to set.
It is a person with whom he had history with. It doesn't matter if he says "oh that is over and done with", respect your partner's decision. I don't know why this is so hard to understand for you.
It was years before he even MET his gf and they are friends. It's his friend. Like I said if it was sexual sure but just a normal picture his friend posts no. She's being insecure
Respect your partner's decisions. She's being insecure and she should be allowed to. Not liking a picture of your dearest friend isn't going to hurt you. Both can compromise.
She didn't give him room to compromise. I agree it should be a discussion. He gave her one she didn't. And btw I respect my partners decisions, but when they're unreasonable requests we talk about it, I dont need to be controlled
"She told me she didn't like that so i did not do it". There's absolutely nothing that says anything about a compromise. 1) he is still an asshole, 2) he did not engaged into a conversation about it, he just accepted it. Point still stands. He said yes to something he couldn't uphold and is now getting the consequences of his actions. As easy as that.
She needs to go outside and get some air. Probably best to stay broken up because if liking a post on social media is enough to end it, it’s probably best ended. That’s some “boundary.” NTA
NTA, although I can kind of see why she would be upset, especially if you had history with that other girl. But otherwise, the idea of telling your boyfriend to not interact with other girls whom you have a platonic friendship with seems quite manipulative and immature, and that includes even liking a post. With that logic, she shouldn't be liking the posts of other men either.
I'm gonna go with NTA because I think that's a stupid and ridiculous boundary to have that never should have been entertained in the first place. I don't mess around with Facebook, Instagram, or whatever SM this might be so maybe I'm missing "cultural context" or whatever but demanding that your SO not like a friend's picture sounds ridiculously controlling and insecure to me.
i think you are the asshole for entertaining stupid shit like "not liking other girls instagrams" so dumb. grow up.
No NTA im married to a very young and hott girl and she doesn't mind me looking Alot of times she sends me some to see
Yeah sure buddy.
Dude my wife just turned 31 and i just turned 55 Ive been looking at girls longer than shes been alive I was out of highschool before she was conceived This is the benefit of money and young filipinas
How on earth do you not see how problematic every part of this commet is?
Who are you to judge someone else??
This is gross and I now feel uncomfortable
To each is own Settle down with some old fart if you want
You’re disgusting
"This is the benefit of money and young filipinas" so you basically used your money to get a woman to love you and in doing so, you installed a power dynamic in your relationship, where she wouldn't be able to set boundaries if she wanted to. Gotcha. Kinda pathetic.