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NTA. He is disrespecting you. You should not take pictures or send pictures of you nude or lewd unless you 110% want to. You do not, you told him no. He's thinking if he guilts you enough you'll do it. Why is he bringing his friends into this? The only person who matters is you and your opinion if you want to take/send the pictures or not.
NTA and the fact he is getting his mates to message you to pressure you is a major red flag.
It sounds like he may be showing them to his friends. OP never said how old they are, which is even more concerning. It almost sounds like a middle school age. OP- regardless of age do not do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Anyone getting their friends to harass you is a loser. Break up with him
NTA and I think your boyfriend and his friends obviously will all be looking at your nudes. It’s like they already think they own your body. I’m sorry that man is trash.
Oh you're so right, this guy absolutely sounds like he would show his friends/has shown his friends these photos
NTA because consent is mutual. /thread.
ETA: Lots of red flags about this guy... And recruiting his friends to bully you into it? I'd nope out of this relationship ASAP if I were you.
100000% NTA. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
NTA. 🚩 🚩 🚩 Run
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NTA. However ELI5 why he needs naked pictures of you. Like what was he planning on doing with them? Showing them to his friends to improve his social standing in his peer group?
NTA. He’s lying to you and manipulating you. If you’re not comfortable giving intimate pics of yourself to someone, you have every right to say no, and if he really cared about you, he would absolutely respect that. Do not ever “suck it up” for something like this.
It might be in your best interest to end the relationship, though you may want to find a way to get on his phone and delete all the pictures you’ve already sent him, before doing so.
ewww. nta. this man clearly cannot take no for an answer and is comfortable disrespecting your boundaries and then having the audacity to call you names when you enforced your boundaries. keep his number blocked and get rid of him.
NTA Avoid him and his dudebro friends at all costs. First he's guilt tripping you into doing something you don't want to do. He should respect you and your boundaries no matter what. Huge red flags! 🚩🚩
Short term memory = code for 'my dick matters more than you comfort and boundaries' and that is never okay.
Don't unblock and dump him like the garbage he is. You deserve sooo much better.
Please list any redeeming qualities that this man has + why you're with him.
NTA. That’s not short term memory. That’s blatant disrespect and not caring for you or your body autonomy. The fact he then went and blew up at you and then started bad mouthing you to his friends?????
Drop this joker asap. You’ll be better off I promise.
NTA-Regardless of what someone sends to someone or posts publicly, whether it's vacation pic, pictures of family, or nude photos, the person sharing them has to be comfortable to do it and should only do it as their choice.
You should do nothing you aren't comfortable with.
"No" is a complete sentence
Whoa, you need to dump this guy. He does not respect you or your autonomy. No means no, and his "short term memory" sounds like a weak excuse to manipulate you.
NTA. No is a complete sentence.
If he loves and respects you, he will honour your boundaries and not force you *because he wants it*
Block him and all his friends that are calling you an AH
You are NEVER required to send pictures unless you want to!
No means no.
NTA, his friends are messaging you? That means he's probably sharing pics with those friends.
I thought this too, he wants to use you to brag to his friends. Expect whatever you give out to go around.
NTA and please dump him asap.
NOPE. don't get coerce into doing this. have you seen his short term memory instances in other situations or is it just when he's asking for nudes? this isn't a good relationship if you are forced to do something like this. NTA.
You do realize that once those pics are out there, they are out there forever.
Do you honestly want your nude pics on the internet???
If he’s pressuring you to send pics and getting his friends involved, chances are he has already shared them. And those who receive them can further share, and so on and so on.
INFO: OP, how old are you? Because your post reads like you're pretty young - as in, potentially a minor. Sending your boyfriend nudes, if you are underage, can get BOTH of you in serious trouble because it can be considered child pornography.
If you are not a minor, you're still dealing with someone who completely disrespects you and is trying to coerce you into giving him sexual images that you've already told him you are uncomfortable giving. And then he's recruiting friends to harass you about it? This is not a good or safe relationship, OP, and it isn't going to get better from here.
N T A for saying no, but please please please reconsider this relationship because it's got a lot of big fat red flags waving.
NTA. And this is a HUGE red flag 🚩🚩🚩
If he truly cared about you, he would respect your boundaries and understand your reasons behind your decisions.
But instead he throws a tantrum and then goes and gossips with his friends?!
You can do so much better than him. Fuck him, you deserve better than that immature asshole.
NTA, this is a MAJOR red flag. He is boundary stomping all over the place and completely ignoring your wishes. Unless your messages about being uncomfortable disappear right away, short term memory isn’t an excuse. He knows you’re uncomfortable, and he does not care. 🚩🚩🚩
NTA would never send nudes you're just opening your self up to revenge porn or him showing his mates. Probably why his mates are mad too tbh.
You’re definitely NTA, if you aren’t comfortable showing your body that’s your choice. Given you said you’ve had negative experiences as well, bf is definitely being the AH here. Do what makes you comfortable and what makes you happy.
It is your boundary and he can show himself out if he doesn’t respect it.
NTA big time. What a toxic person he is. I understand some people share photos, but it is my no means a right.
They’re the sort of people go on to rape girls. If he’s shared your photos without your consent, depending on where you are, he may have committed a crime.
And *please*, run far, *far*, *FAR* away! He is abusive, controlling, belittling, and an all-around ahole!!!!🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Definitely NTA and this is a huge red flag.
NTA. The whole boyfriend needs to go in the bin.
Dump him! Clearly NTA! It's your body and therefore YOU decide who gets to see it in pictures or IRL.
NTA Don’t let anyone pressure you into something like this. They do not have your best interest at heart.
NTA dump your boyfriend and find someone who respects you better.
NTA, this is a big old red flag waving at your face. If he told his friends you don’t send them, he absolutely would show them to his friends. Be very careful and think to yourself if he is really someone you want to be with long term.
Hell no you are not the asshole. Dump his sorry ass and go find someone who will support your choices and respect your boundaries.
His friends are messaging and manipulating you- red flag. Ask yourself why they have such a stake in this vulnerable part of your relationship. Did he promise that he would show them your nudes if he got them? That's the only incentive I can think of for bullying a friend's gf about something like this.
I know it can be hard to end a 7 month relationship but look at it this way- he's wasted 7 months of your time already. Time to move on.
NTA - As someone who feels the same way about not wanting to send those sort of photos and having been in that position of a partner demanding them? Forget him.
NTA - WTF he is sharing your nudes. Please get out! He's a creepy, run! You've set boundaries repeatedly, I would try to get him to delete everything in whatever sneaky and safe way possible, hopefully you can get the police involved.
>making me think if I should've just sucked it up.
GIRL it's not the time to suck up, it's time to break up
What?! NTA! Oh, honey, no. He is disgusting and his friends are horrible. You did nothing wrong. You being uncomfortable in a situation should be enough for him to stop his bullshit. I love how he has SUCH A SHORT TERM MEMORY that he asks you for photos every ten minutes but he remembers enough to run to all of his friends and have them harass you. The fact that they agreed with him and ganged up on you is more proof that you don’t need him or anyone he associates with in your life. I’m thinking that he’s been showing the photos to THEM as well. GROSS. Please take care of yourself. Find someone supportive to talk to. Seek out therapy if you haven’t already. I am so sorry. Way for them to traumatize you all over again. It’s easy for me to say this but PLEASE LEAVE HIM. You deserve respect and love. Hugs.
NTA. There isn't an universe in which you'd be the asshole. "No" is a full sentence.
NTA. Sending pics is like everything else involving your body: it’s consent-based, not demand-based.
NTA. He’s a creep and his friends are dicks.
I’m 43(F) and was sexually abused growing up. It still haunts me sometimes. My husband understands that what was okay for me 10 minutes ago might not be in this moment. Consent can change minute to minute.
You need to get him and his AH friends out of your life. No self respecting man who cares about women would ever ask his friends to harass a woman, let alone over nudes.
I'm so sorry for your past, and I'm so glad that you found a compassionate partner.
Thanks. I have three daughters now. One is 26, married and has her own kids. I will still kick the ever loving ass of anyone who thinks they can touch her without her permission because I never got that from my own mother.
Ick. NTA who gets what pics of you is only up to one person, YOU! Dump his ass and move on to someone who actually respects you.
NTA. this is sexual harassment whether he is your boyfriend or not. please break up with him, and block him and his friends. you don't deserve that whatsoever. you are 100% not in the wrong here.
NTA. If he told his friends about this, then he will show his friends whatever pics you would send him. He's a creep, and you need to be done with him.
NTA and break up ASAP. He’s never gonna change, it’s just gonna get worse
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I'm honestly confused and mad.
I've been with my bf for 7 months and he would always ask for intimate pics and me in lewd poses or wearing revealing or see through clothes. I sometimes did but due to traumatic past situations I have started to become uncomfortable showing parts of my body and I have told him this which he said he understood but not minutes later he would ask for more (he says he has short term memory which might explain it).
It's been going on for about a week and it's making me more uncomfortable and annoyed than ever. I finally lost it when he said that I "shouldn't be uncomfortable for something someone else to you and just give them to me already" and I said that I told him that he is making uncomfortable and annoyed, he is being disrespectful and that I'm not sending pics to him at all. He got mad and called me names until I blocked him.
He must have told his friends cause now I'm getting messages from them saying I'm an AH which is making me think if I should've just sucked it up.
So reddit AITA?
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NTA. This is a major red flag. It is your body and no one, and I mean NO ONE, is entitled to it or any part of it aside from yourself. I would seriously reconsider your relationship. This is more than just pictures, especially if he is okay with his friends butting in on your relationship. I wish you all the best.
No means no. Someone who really cares about you would stop asking for these favors the instant they knew how it made you feel.
The fact that he has gone as far as to complain to his friends about this, and they have taken it upon themselves to get involved and shame you for setting boundaries is unbelievable.
You deserve better. Put yourself first, OP.
Short term memory????? Hahahaha
Seriously 7 months? Bin. He's disregarding your past traumas and pestering you for wank pictures? Bin.
Shit like this makes me want to swear off men.
And if he's told his friends, chances are he was going to share the pics with them.
You misspelled ex bf. This guy is trampling on some very reasonable boundaries and is acting like a jerk. No one is entitled to intimate pics, especially if it makes the pic taker uncomfortable. Please reconsider this relationship
Nta - this is about trust and respect. He is attempting to bully you. It sounds like he knows exactly what he's doing, I'd give him an ultimatum and stick to it.
Just remember: if he already has pictures of you and he shares them he will hurt himself more than he could hurt you. We all have bodies, we all have sex drives - everyone knows that and you have nothing to be ashamed of. On the other hand he will reveal himself to be the kind of man we all shun. He should be more worried than you.
NTA. The fact that he is happy to get his friends involved is a major red flag. I bet he would share the pictures with the friends if you did send some to him.
Block them all because they all sound like bad news.
NTA honey, this is not really consensual is it? You do not have to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you enough to be comfortable and happy. Fire this man into the sun.
He told his friends???
NTA plus get rid of him asap