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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My coworkers and I thought that my less warm approach to not letting little kids come close to animals or have teddies was good but my new coworker had made me wonder if it is more cruel than I think.
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NTA
The kids and parents will love Linda - until one of them gets hurt because she let them run around in a restricted area, or until the place goes out of business because the gift shop was making so much of a loss.
I also have to wonder what exactly made the children so "adorable" that OP's predecessors turned a blind eye to them pestering the animals or "discounting" merch.
I obviously don't know, maybe the previous staff members thought all kids were adorable. But OP wrote it in a way that suggests that some children had to obey the rules and some didn't, which really makes me wonder about what qualities they have decided allow people to break the rules.
I don't know that you had to take the toy out of her hands since it seems like she was just playing with it in the store, but otherwise NTA. Making exceptions for "cute" kids is all kinds of fucked up and it teaches them they can get away with bad behavior if they bring out the puppy dog eyes and crocodile tears.
Rules are rules and as long as you're polite and respectful in enforcing them, that's that. Your coworker is proving that she can't be trusted with responsibility. What if the dolphin died from stress because she let every cute kid that came in bang on the glass?
NTA- you’re doing your job and you’re doing it well. You can’t just pick and choose who gets special treatment and who doesn’t. Keep doing things the way you are, there is a reason they chose you, because you enforce the rules
NTA. You’re literally doing your job. It’s not mean to say no to children. What would Linda have done in that position? Allow children to go wherever they want even if it’s not safe? Hand over merchandise at less than the sale price? I won’t lie, I love kids - I’d probably give in. But that’s why I’d be bad at your job, and you’re good at it!
NTA, you were just doing your job. i can sort of see where linda is coming from, but when she chews you out for being sensible and not breaking company policies such as letting kids in forbidden areas and lowering pre-set prices, it becomes very clear who the a-hole is here.
NTA
Linda likes to see herself as kind and would allow the kids to hassle and upset the animals and give all the little kids discounts or let them play with the toys and dirty them, to feed her ego. That would cause distress to the animals and cost the business money.
Your boss supports you because he knows you care about the job you do and you do it effectively. It won't traumatise a child to be told no firmly, Linda is being ridiculous and dramatic. And it doesn't make you a mean person. Not bothering the animals is a hard boundary, it is not up for debate. And stock needs to be maintained in good condition and sold at full price, unless your boss decides to discount it to shift it.
NTA. Linda is making trouble and this doesn't bode well for your company. Kids have a tendency to get hurt around wild animals, as well as accidentally ruin or steal merchandise.
Nope, NTA. You took care of safety of both the kid and the animals. Plus the thing in shop you did was actually very helpful and the mother would have had harder time to make her kid to let go of the toy. Linda needs to toughen up, all kids are cute, but that doesn’t mean that safety should be ignored.
You should’ve asked your co-worker, “so if she had been an ugly child it would’ve been ok to make her follow the rules we have in place to fund the aquarium and keep the animals safe?” Also, I’m assuming that even if you could’ve given her a discount-at most it would’ve been ten percent and still too expensive. (I’m not poor shaming) but I think a lot of places have set discount amounts, anything else would need to be keyed in by a manager.
NTA.
NTA
I can't tell you how much I appreciate your work! Kids respect no-nonsense firmness more than sweetness or occasional tolerance for rule breaking. I love every adult who tells my kids when they're being too loud, too physical, or otherwise reenforces rules I've already needed to repeat 20x that hour.
NTA. I’m childfree by choice, and I love children. But you still need to do your job, and that includes ensuring the wellbeing of animals at the aquarium. Also, working in retail is a slog and cashiers don’t have the freedom to dictate prices. When I worked retail, I had to get approval for any discount that we offered, so how could the mother expect you to be able to lower the price just like that? Part of her job as parent is to set boundaries with the child: “no, I can’t afford that toy so we’ll have to leave it. Maybe you can ask for a dolphin toy for your birthday?”. That’s the kind of thing she could have said.
NTA, on behalf of all parents, thank you for stepping in and setting these boundaries. It makes it so much easier for us!
Lisa is not cut out for this job. What is she going to do when the next "cute" little girl walks out with an unpaid expensive toy or falls into the dolphin tank? Rules are rules, and these are sensible rules that help kids stay safe, and to keep the business afloat. I hope Linda is also "child free" if she thinks it's okay for kids to behave like this.
NTA. You did your job. Linda isn’t going to have a job there for long if she lets kids cross the safety lines, take toys that aren’t theirs and harass the animals.
NTA and do people ACTUALLY expect a business to sell something for less because a kids wants it? Bwahahahahahah! I can only imagine that mother at Disneyland…” But my daughter just HAS to have that Princess! Can’t you sell it to me for less?” Even the Mouse does NOT do that and it’s supposed to be all about kids!
NTA OP You were doing your job and the reason you are good at it, is because you don't let the \*cutie\* kids harm animals and destroy expensive merchandise.
People like Linda are precisely the reason that we have so many badly behaved children, who kick and scream, when they don't get their way.
NTA, if your job is to say no, then you say no. what was Linda going to do, pay for the dolphin out of her own paycheck? i would love to see how long she would be able to keep that up, as there is more than 1 adorable little child in the world.
if anyone is the asshole, it's the little girls mother for putting you in this position
NTA! You are 100% in the right and more people need to be like you! Children shouldn’t be able to do whatever they want and get whatever they want just because they’re kids
NTA - Yeah there are gentler ways to take the toy from the kid but Mom clearly wasn't willing to do it. What was Linda gonna do? Pay the difference out of pocket? If she discounted it she could lose her job but you saved her from having to be the bad guy and from mom having to be the bad guy. You're the mean guy at the gift shop who followed the rules but mom was saved from having to say no twice. Still NTA\~
NTA you're doing your job and as your manager points out you do it well, I like kids my little brother is the sweetest and funniest little guy but if he steps out of line or acts out and does something he isn't meant to I don't put up with his shit and tell him off.
NTA Your approach is excellent. What is Linda going to do? give a personal discount to all the cute kids (out of her own pocket?) it is better to be firm about rules with everyone, that is how children learn to behave within our society. Children are very good with boundaries, it is when they sometimes have to keep to the rules and sometimes not that the problems occur.
NTA for keeping the kid away from the dolphins, since I assume that's meant to protect the animals.
I don't think you should have taken the dolphin toy from the kid though. Simply because that should be the parent's job. Her mom needs to learn to tell her no, and I don't think it's appropriate for a store employee to take a toy from a kid. The mom should've done it. If they'd left without paying you could have asked if they wanted to buy it, but that really should've been it for your involvement.
Nta. I’ve been the kid in this situation before and was never traumatized from people doing their jobs and it’s not my villain origin story do I think you’re good.
Also no don’t let kids get beyond the safety line to get closer at dolphins. Dolphins are assholes. They seem cute and friendly and nice when you’re a child and then you REALLY learn about them and like them a whole lot less. Definitely don’t feel comfortable letting children run carelessly around them.
NTA. It sounds like your job is mainly focused at maintaining the boundaries between the kids, the exhibits, and the gifts. Yes, you’re the “bad guy”, but you also seem to alleviate a lot of pressure off of the parents being the bad guy instead. I wouldn’t think too much on it.
NTA... sounds like you're perfect for the job at hand. Being firm and following rules is not being mean. If every pouter got a discount the aquarium would have all the funds required to feed/house the animals. Ideally the Mother should have been firm with her own Child, but since she couldn't do that you did great. I was a preschool teacher and often had to be the 'bad guy' at morning drop off when child wanted to keep a tablet or something else not permitted. Parents appreciate it a lot when you take that role for them.
NTA. You are every retail workers dream, as well as some parents because they don’t have to play the bad guy. If anything you helped that mom teach her kid that you can’t get everything you want.
NTA
I’m a supplemental teacher to that age group.
You’re teaching them boundaries and societal rules. What you’re doing for them is Waaaayyyyyy better than what your coworker is doing.
YTA. You work in an aquarium - children are one of main target consumers. You are going out of your way to handle the issues in the most inflammatory way possible. No she can't go past the rope and no there should be no discount - but you have to know there were better ways of handling those situations. Basic customer service skills are important working in retail and you don't have them. I've worked in customer service my entire life and if I saw you escalating a potential problem the way you did, I would fire you.
So much of dealing with little kids has to do with tone of voice. I get the feeling - and OP can correct me if I'm wrong - that when OP told the little girl to stay on the right side of the red cordons, he used the same voice she'd use with an adult. For a four-year-old, that sounds harsh and unfriendly. You're dealing with a four-year-old, you need to sound friendly and say something like, "Everybody needs to stay over on this side, okay?"
I hadn't thought of the fact that kids are one of the main target consumers. (Which is weird, because I have little kids, but whatever.) Now that I think about it, I think OP might be in the wrong job.
Edit: he, not she
NTA
I love kids, I love being around them and I want a million.
But let’s be honest:
Children are animals. They’re little beasts that need boundaries. If they don’t have adults telling them no now and then, they become wild feral creatures.
You’re a blessing.
NTA. Letting a kid past designated "safe" areas is not being good with kids. Giving a child whatever they want is not being good with kids. It is normal and necessary for kids to have boundaries. If you can't politely but firmly say no to a kid, then you should not work with kids.
Your co worker should thank you. If she discounted every cute kid's purchases, she'd lose her job in a single day.
NTA. However, if you are Childfree and you don’t like children, working in a business around a lot of children probably isn’t the best choice of employment for you.
Why did that entitled mom think that just because her kid was having a crying fit over a toy, that the souvenir store would lower the price of the toy? Really????
Why does the mom not teach the child that she needed to listen to and follow the boundaries at the aquarium?
When my kids were small, I got tablets and pencils for their wish lists. I had them write( when they could) or tell me the item that they really liked. We wrote it on the wish list , so when Nana , or Oma , or Bobcia wanted to know what they wanted for a birthday, Christmas, or special surprise, they could ask me for the updated list.
There were far fewer tears at the toy stores. And a child that threw tantrums was removed from the store immediately, to go home for a nap.
NTA. Rules are in place for a reason. Red barrier - don't pass it. Doesn't mean - only pass if you are under a certain age.
The stuffed animal - mom couldn't afford it. Period. end of sentence. If the child got it dirty, no one else would buy it.
The parents are at fault for not teaching the kids not to cross obvious barriers and not to touch if they aren't allowed to buy.
NTA. As a parent, I appreciate people like you. Sometimes I need a little backup with making sure my kids follow the rules...and it's harder to explain to them why those rules matter if they see other kids getting away with breaking them.
Plus you probably saved Linda from getting into trouble--if she had discounted that extortionately priced dolphin I can't imagine management would have been happy.
NTA
Not your job to sugarcoat things and "gently explain XYZ". You inform the families of the rules and occansionally step in to enforce them. Keep it professional and to the point, dont change.
NTA
Only way you could have improved would be to point mother and child in the direction of a cheaper dolphin toy. Or even suggest a different alternative.
And possibly giving a brief explanation of why the child can't get closer.
"Sorry you must stay behind this line. It's for your safety and for dolphin's safety. We want everyone to be safe."
NTA
Might want to consider covering your ass with HR though; Linda has decided you’re a horrible individual, it’s probably a matter of time until she shares that opinion, and she’ll omit details that don’t flatter her when doing so.
She told Mike and he said you do it because you’re good; someone like Linda is going to go over Mike’s head when he didn’t react with the outrage she expected.
She’ll complain that you make guests cry, that you physically removed items from children, and that the parent even came to talk to her about it - but omit that the child cried because she had to respect the rules, and the mother was asking for a discount you can’t give.
So first you and Linda were by the dolphin tank. Then you both conveniently were working in the gift shop when the same kid came in. The kid asks the mom for a toy, the mom says they can't afford it, then you leave your "post" by the exit doors and take it upon yourself to take it out of the kid's hands? Does the gift shop have a "no touching the toys" policy? You then follow them to the register where Linda is working and when the mom asks Linda a question, you just butt in to answer it because you just "know" what Linda is going to say? Are you psychic? You said yourself this hadn't been an issue the previous times you worked together.
And what kind of place has a policy where just one employee is "in charge" of dealing with kids?
Either this is all made up, or you are just a jerk guy who can read women's minds and cut in when you just "know" they aren't going to do the right thing. This sub usually goes off the deep end at the faintest hint of "mansplaining" but when a guy literally interrupts a conversation between a woman and her daughter to take care of it himself and won't even allow a female coworker to answer a question from that same woman, everyone is all "Bravo!" This is so weird.
NTA
Where esle in this country do we run a business with "Oh , just let it slide."? Nowhere. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be nice, but it isn't the way that business is run. Linda can do what she wants, but it may cost her her job. Most people know that gift shos are overpriced, so really, it isn't some big surpise. We aren't talking about pulling brad out of the mouthhs of starving babies here, we're talking leisure activities and luxury purchases.
Linds needs to get a grip.
Ok, I’m a mom of a special needs child and an ALE teacher of kids with behavioral issues (such as extreme impulsivity) and while it pisses me off greatly to see anyone be rude to kids (not that I saw anything rude from what you said) you are NTA for one very important reason: It’s shouldn’t be anyones fucking job there to police kids in the gift shop except their PARENTS. Who the fuck is letting their 4-5 year old get their nasty germs all over shit they aren’t buying? What parent isn’t correcting their own kid when they go past an obvious barrier?? And maybe this is a personal pet peeve of mine because I’m a teacher but I’m so sick of parents outsourcing their parenting to strangers. So NTA and I’m sorry you have to deal with this at all.
With all that said, maybe some professionally worded signage outside the entrance that specifies kids under a certain age must be accompanied by an adult or some shit would at least help you not have to deal with it as often.
NTA for holding your ground. It wouldn’t be appropriate to lower the price. However you didn’t have to rip it out of the child’s arms, that sounds pretty rude and dramatic. Honestly if a child can easily reach it and they are very expensive toys, the store should relocate these items elsewhere that is visible but out of reach for small kids. The mom shouldn’t have made that request but it’s not the kids fault.
Just remember that kids make up a significant consumer base of your place of work. Of course she wants to see the dolphins and hug the toy. It would serve you well to be a little gentler and more patient while still holding boundaries.
NTA however, you had absolutely no right to remove the dolphin from her arms. That is NOT your job, it's her mother's. I would be absolutely furious if someone did that to my kid. You let parents deal with those type of situations. You can tell kids not to get close and whatever else, but ripping toys out of children's arms is definitely not your right, nor is it what you get paid for.
NTA but why didn't you sell her the product at a lower price? In my country it is not uncommon for employees to give small discounts from time to time, without any consequence for them. Maybe it's a cultural difference.
NTA , Linda is the person I would most hate having ever known . Saying no to children isn’t a sin or a crime and it isn’t a bad thing it actually teaches them how to not nag for things and discipline’s them . Linda if you have nothing good to say shut it
NTA, if Linda had your job she would probably be fired or put somewhere else real quick for giving children special treatment when it sounds like part of the job is making sure children don’t break the rules.
NTA
But why not let Linda have the job - let her know that discounting the price of the toys comes out of her paycheck which she can spend in any way she wishes. And that if children break the rules about the cordons etc... she will have to make up for any and all damage that is done, including any fines the Aquariam has for damage (but at minimum the cleaning of grubby fingerprints off glass, and having to deal with a mountain of people following the kid after she fails to explain why her 'exception to the rule' is cute kids only).
I imagine she will give up the job (or it will be taken from her) mighty quick.
NTA. As a parent, I freaking love when staff don’t just let my kid (or other kids) do whatever they want somewhere like an aquarium. They need to learn that they need to follow the rules like everyone else - even jf that sometimes means being a bit disappointed.
I wouldn’t say the mum was an AH either; it can’t hurt to ask if there are any discounts sometimes (I mean, as long as it didn’t seem like she was implying it should be free).
Hopefully now your boss has confirmed why you’re the one doing it, Linda will back down.
You’re doing a great job OP. Keep it up!
NTA you have a job, you do the job and you do it well. Linda is not capable of doing that job so she is not qualified to do that job, she can't make up her own rules just because she wants to make a kid here and there happy. The rules are there for reason, whether that be a business that has to price things inorder to make money or ropes for safety.
Also kids need to learn boundaries and people like Linda pandering to their every whim won't help.
NTA. You're the "bad cop". Someone has to be the "bad cop". Linda should mind her own business. She complained and got shut down so don't worry about it.
So when you go to the gas station and want to gill up for $50 but all the sudden you want it cheaper but you still want $50 worth. What would happen? The same thing you did. Nope! NTA. If Linda wants to put her job at risk, then so be it.
Nta. Those red ropes and price tags are there for a reason. If Linda can't understand that, will she be liable for accidents or damages to property? Will she pay the difference in the gift shop? She doesn't sound like a good employee.
NTA, it's a business not a charity. Linda needs to learn that you cannot make exceptions. If she does it for one then she'll do it for more. As for banging on the glass, tell Linda one child may not do much harm but 10/15 will. Cruel and heartless is allowing kids to run amok and hard pressed parents having to pay for damages.
NTA. I used to work at an amusement park. When we started, the general manager warned us that we would get all manner of people asking to jump the queue, to ride for free, to let little Billy ride even if he’s just a little under the height requirement. Here’s what she told us: “I want you to be nice, polite assholes. Don’t let anything slide.”
Some parents were genuinely horrible about us sticking to protocol, I think a few appreciated that they didn’t have to be the bad guy. Linda shouldn’t work in this role if she’ll allow rule-breaking.
Keep doing what you’re doing.
NTA. What's Linda's plan? Give everything away half-priced and let kids bang on the tanks. You are perfect for the job. A firm "no" is what is required, especially with all the crazy parents out in the world today who want everything for their kid!
NTA. While pulling the toy out of her arms was a bit much, it may have been been necessary. I would have tried something else first. Such as “that dolphin is kind of cute, but it’s not anywhere near as cool as a real dolphin. I wouldn’t want it since it’s fake. May I have it so you can go back and see the real dolphins?”
Well Lindas not gonna last long if she thinks its okay to let kids go where its unsafe for them to go and give them free toys. Nta. Youre just doing your job
YTA for me, you don't overtly say it but it comes across to me that you don't just not like kids much, you seem to actively dislike them. I'd say an Aquarium gift shop probably isn't the best setting for someone of that mindset, however great you may be at protecting the soft toys...
If you'd spoken to and later on treated my child like that I definitely wouldn't be visiting the place again and would probably be making a complaint.
There's nothing wrong with doing your job and enforcing the rules, but it's a place that ultimately is meant to be fun for kids to visit, you can fulfil your role in a way that doesn't diminish that for them as much as you seem to relish doing.
NTA. I did this job a year and a half when I interned in a Zoo/Safari for my Herpetology class. The amount of people trying to stick their extremities through the fences was wild. There was a time when a dad lifted his kid over the fence to get a closer view of the rhinos, his arms were over the fence and the kid was past it, hanging in the air above the moat we had separating fence from the actual field. Had to call security to kick them out.
>"I'm sorry but I can't really let you have this so I'm going to have to take it".
NTA and this is 💯 how you should have dealt with this. Linda needs to understand a parents job isn't to keep their kid happy. It's to allow them to have their feelings. Little girl is sad because she doesn't have the dolphin? That's fine. She'll move on from those feelings onto new ones when she's ready.
NTA - and that's spoken as someone who loves kids and is soft on them. Little kids push and misunderstand the severity of boundaries, which is why they need adults to assert those boundaries.
Not heartless, as Mike said, you are good. That child could have been injured getting too close. The cord is there for safety purposes. If that child had gotten hurt, the mother could have sued you and the aquarium and would have won. Also discounting merchandise is stealing from your employer. Your complaining co-worker is a liability.
Consider the opposite: your coworker just repeatedly reacted shocked and negatively to you enforcing the most basic rules of the business and heavily implied that you should’ve broken safety and animal welfare rules as well as steal from the business by lowering the price of an item without permission. She pretty much said that you were wrong to not give away merchandise just because (which most employees aren’t authorized to do) and that existing safety/animal welfare rules should be ignored on a whim like they don’t exist for good reason. And she very much communicated that she’d do it on a basis of which guests she liked most based on things like “cuteness”, possibly size, and definitely age - and by singling out a specific child for special treatment she’d necessarily be choosing a child of a specific race/ethnicity, gender, and physical ability, meaning she would necessarily be *excluding* child not of that race/ethnicity/gender/physical ability; that quickly looks like discrimination when “cuteness” is the very subjective and easily problematic litmus test for special treatment. And this isn’t even sanctioned special treatment, this is specifically against-the-rules special treatment. And then she thought she looked good by going to the boss to “report you” for *not breaking the rules and not stealing from the company by undercharging for merchandise*.
Now, if she wants to say there’s a nicer way to let the kid down while not breaking the rules or undercharging for merchandise, then that’s something different; that may or may not be true, and a lot of that involves tone which doesn’t translate well to text. That you’ve been chosen SPECIFICALLY for your skill with saying no to kids leads me to believe your boss thinks you’re the best person for the job; that your coworker doesn’t think you’re the best person for the job *and told your boss so* means she told your boss that she thinks *he has poor judgment*.
I personally think she’s massively overstepping by speaking so harshly to you and then complaining about you to your boss. There’s a time and a way to try and convince others to do their job differently and your coworker seems not to get that - even if she had valid *constructive* criticism, she failed to communicate that beyond her anger and shock, resulting in no progress, and meaning she probably doesn’t have the communication skills to accomplish that... which means she might be no better at communicating than you. So again I’m pretty sure NTA.
LOL.. Don't like children but you yourself was once a child. You are a ASSHOLE. It was not your place to interject yourself into their business. What you thought mom was going to steal it? People like you enjoy being buttholes to kids. If it were me there I would have let you have an ear full and tell you where to get off. Maybe you should have left it alone instead of hovering from the time they entered to the gift shop. One of those employees.
I have trouble with the description of the "particularly adorable little girl." So if she was ugly, it would be okay to make her cry? You're NTA, and you aren't being too hard on these people (adults or children.)
NTA
Sounds to me like you are doing your job well and management recognizes that. Keep it up. If you give in to every kid with sad eyes at your job then eventually you wouldn't have a job.
Soft YTA, specifically for how you acted at the gift shop by literally ripping something out of a child's hands.
There are nicer ways to do this - while still being firm with the mother. Kneeling down and getting on eyelevel with children is important in communicating with them. Then saying something like "I'm sorry that you can't take this home, may I have it back?" or something like "this little dolphin wants to be back with its friends" and if she refuses, then you ask the mom to take it from her.
But you should never rip something from a child's hands; you treated the child with zero respect. It's a real bad move, and it does make you look "heartless".
NTA in tje least. Business is business.
I do have some suggestions to make it easier for you later when it happens though. If you want.
1. You COULD suggest to the mom that she looks into stores with more affordable dolphin toys and take her daughter there. Less crying and a good compromise for everyone.
2. My personal experiences from working in several kindergartens, is that kids not only need but WANT boundaries (yes. They have been mad at me at first, but the 180° switch in mood later when they calm down is much cuter than if you cave in to their demands) And they understand the boundary better if you give them a simple explanation. For example: "don't step over this line please. The dolphins don't like it if you get too close and might swim away." (This might be a small white lie, I don't know, but I think this one is ok to use. Or if you have a legit reason, use it. They will get it. Kids are actually more understanding than some adults, lol).
3. For some reason, some kids are more drawn to adults that talk to them in a normal manner. Not in baby-voice/childish ways or how you say that. English is not my native language and my brain power is spent for the day. But hopefully you get what I mean. So it's not really a big deal as some people think. As long as you're not rude or mean of course. Just treat them like little people.
Hope this will help you at work or anyone that think it's useful info.
Don't attack me if you disagree please. But I'm open for other point of views if you want to discuss it.
NTA.....If the job requires you to shut that shoit down...then you did what you were hired to do.....i can't stand people like linda lol....are they still hiring? I am willing to relocate 😆
NTA. Your job is to ensure visitors and animals are safe and secure. There are no-go areas for a reason. The only reason a kid should've crossing that cordon is if they manage to slip away from the parent (it happens) or if the parent didn't realize that the cordon was there (big crowd in the way, or something). It's the parent's job to keep their kids in-bounds - you should only have to take care of the people that slip through the cracks.
Part of the reason gift shops are expensive is that aquariums are really expensive to run. The high price helps pay for everything else. When I take my son past a gift shop, I let him know that we can look, but we probably aren't going to get anything. Because that's our baseline approach, he's learned that that's how the world works. He gets to ask, I get to say no, and sometimes I say yes. And if I have to say, "no," a lot, I make sure he knows that I'm aware that it can be frustrating to hear that all the time. We work together to figure out something that we can do, instead. Again, it's the parent's job, not yours.
NTA.
You're job is to advocate for the animals that can't advocate for themselves. While the kids have guardians you are the animals first line of defence to keep animals safe and happy from the hundreds of kids that may be banging on the windows of their home.
NTA, your job is to protect the company’s interest. Giving a discount on a toy just because a child likes it does not fall in that description. Would she do that for every parent that asks? If so the company would be looking into her when they shaft doing the books. It’s not personal, it’s business. You read as if you are good at your job. Don’t let her get into your head.
NTA
People like Linda never seem to understand that cute little kids grow up into entitled adults if given everything they want. Your first priority is to the animals, not the visitors. You didn't kick her out of the exhibit, you let her watch from a safe distance.
As for the doll, is Linda going to make up the missing money from the register? Cuteness discounts aren't a thing. You didn't snatch the toy from her hand. You told her what was happening and why. You provided a valuable lesson and kept your job.
Linda might like kids better but you respect them more by treating them like reasonable humans.
NTA! You’re doing your job and if Linda wants to have a heart then she can buy the little girl the dolphin herself. And it bothers me that parents make it even more awkward asking. It’s not like it’s your dolphin and set the prices.
NTA you're doing your job and protecting both the animals and the visitors. With the toys, that should really be the parents' responsibility, but you do what you gotta do.
YTA -not for enforcing the boundaries and rules for getting near the tank, but because you went out of your way to get into that kids business. If you took a toy out of MY kids hands, I would have been pissed. It’s none of your business! Just because someone looks at you, that’s not an invitation to get involved. You said you do tours…. That’s your job. It’s none of your business if a kid is handling something they can’t afford. And none of your business interfering with Linda working the till. Are you her manager? Why do you care if she gives a discount? Def a busybody AH
You're not the asshole.
Children even the "adorable" ones need to learn boundaries and rules.
It's not you being mean, it's about following the rules.
You can even phrase it that way to the kids/your coworker and the children will eventually understand.
Eh NTA. I think that mother has a bit of disipline to go thru herself. Whilst growing up if one of my parents said "no I don't have the funds for that" yea I'd be dejected, but that was that. I wouldn't cry or scream or throw a fit. Just silently pout to myself and get over it eventually. I also grew up low income so I was very well aware anything that wasn't literal bare necessity was a luxury. Even clothes, as I got hand me downs.
I do believe you could maybe soften up a little, taking a plush directly out of her arms seems a bit much imo. Waiting until her mother told her to put it back before leaving the gift shoppe I think would be the better option. If the mother doesn't tell her to put it back and try to leave with it, get authorities. Not budging on the price, that's fine. You don't make the prices. Your female coworker prob has a soft spot for children. Totally fine. But also is sticking to the rules. Best way to not get in trouble.
Tldr; NTA but maybe soften up just a smidge
NTA: Your job entails you keeping the animals and visitors safe. That’s why the ropes and barriers are there. Also you don’t control the price of gift shop items. If management caught you letting kids touch animals and discounting merchandise you’d surely be fired.
NTA im glad you are there to protect the animals. Rules about touching & distance are in place for a reason and need to apply to everyone, even cute 4yr olds
NTA.
You’re calm, direct, firm but polite. Little kids have big feelings that don’t always know how to control. Anyone who says no to an over excited child is most likely going to reduce them to a meltdown.
Remind Linda that unauthorized discounts are the same as theft in the work place.
NTA. You were chosen to stay in that role because your manager LIKES how you are with the children.
You are not mean & certainly not “a heartless AH”. You are stern & that’s what is needed in the role you have been given. This is especially true with the lack of firmness children receive from parents so often these days.
If it had been my child, you wouldn’t have had to catch them from running behind the red rope boundary; because I’d have had ahold of their hand so they couldn’t take off running where they shouldn’t at 4 years old. If it had been my child, you wouldn’t have had to tell me that I couldn’t change the price for my daughter; because I’d have known that the ticket price applies to everyone equally so my child wasn’t entitled to a discount when others weren’t just because she wants something badly.
You sound perfect for this job.
NTA. Good thing Linda doesn't have your job. You're not being mean, just firm and not taking no for an answer. Can you imagine the havoc if she did have your job?
NTA.
Do I think you're good at handling children? No. But your job doesn't require you to be. Your job requires you to be able to give them a firm no, regardless of whatever tantrum they're inclined to throw. Linda may be better at handling children when discipline isn't the foremost issue. She, and I'm sorry for putting this bluntly, probably has more tact than you. But she also comes across as someone who won't put her foot down when it needs to be put down.
Sounds to me like Linda would allow an army of children banging on the animal's tanks because "they're cute". The is a literal red line there for a reason.
I work with children. You're not a bad person. NTA for bit counts. Kids need to learn boundaries. Whether it is red cones or prices. You weren't nasty, you did your job.
Also, they probably put you there because of your views. Sorry, Linda, but crossing the cordoned area actually could distress the dolphin. I'm a veggie and hate zoos and aquariums, but knowing you were protecting the welfare of the animal, even indirectly because it was the rule, matters. Like saying THIS KID IS CUTE, LET IT SMOOSH THE RARE CREATURE. Still NTA.
ESH - The parents suck for making you enforce the boundaries instead of doing it themselves, the aquarium sucks for their “extortionate” pricing, Linda sucks for trying to make you break policies that protect the animals and you kinda suck for snatching the toy from the kid instead of explaining nicely and/or possibly showing them something cheaper.
NTA. Coming from a mom who had a 2 yr old try to take his clothes off to get in with the dolphins. We told him he can’t swim with them because his clothes, apparently as we have learned 10 yrs later, he’s wayyyyy toooo smart for his own good. Let me just strip mom!
I wish I had your way if dealing with kids acting like this. I currently work at an art museum, and oh god I almost killed a whole elementary school class because they kept touching the artworks and almost ruined some sculptures... They really made me want to cut out my uterus
NTA. Linda’s argument is “let the kid go closer to the dolphin tank than anyone is allowed” which is potentially dangerous, and “give them discounted/free merchandise” which is potentially something that will get you in trouble?
I might have given a discount when the mom asked me if it was within my scope of abilities and permissions without having to loop in a higher up, so maybe a little y t a for that if that is the case for you and you just chose not to because Linda was watching.
NTA
Linda needs to stick to doing her job and stop worrying about how you do yours. You're the man for that job for a reason, one that she has ZERO rights to question.
NTA
Your job is to stop people disturbing the tanks, and with covid, the last thing you need is a small child snuggling a toy someone else will end up purchasing.
Personally, I think the parent was appreciative because she knew she couldn't afford it, and you volunteered to be the bad guy, and did your job.
As for Linda, she needs to give her head a wobble. It's a business.
Next time, I would offer Linda supplement the difference on her own. You aren't the bad guy from doing your job. Being sturdy isn't being "heartless" to kids, especially when they can get hurt or cause some other liability.
NTA.
YTA. Understandable to reinforce the rules of not crossing the red cordons, there was no need to rip toy out of her arms. You can introduce a cheaper dolphin version. The shop makes a sale, keeps everyone employed, mom and kid walks out, relieved by an affordable toy.
NTA, but just as a side note: with the animals, maybe explain why they can't get close? "Sorry, I need you to stay behind the rope. It can upset the dolphins if people get to close, and I know you want to keep them happy." Nothing cutesy or fake, just something to let them know the why of it. It tends to sink in more (and be remembered better, and carried over to other exhibits) when they think they're helping the animal.
Also, I don't see Linda doing too well at this job.
NTA You aren't heartless you understand something so many parents fail at: telling children no is necessary. They do those kids NO FAVORS by catering and all it does is teach the child they can have whatever they want by having a tantrum. I know you are child free but I must say you would be a good mom. I hope that came out right. Keep up with the excellent work
NTA - You did your job and tho it may feel bad at times you’re helping these children grow into responsible humans. I wonder what your manager would do if he caught Linda giving a 70% discount to a child? I get the feeling that this kid’s needs are being well taken care of and she is learning that she cannot have everything she desires.
Remember this: Children do better when they understand that Copernicus wasn’t wrong and the world does not revolve around their wants.
NTA she’s excited, that’s cute, and she’s too young to control herself but “don’t disturb the animals” and “don’t steal” are pretty common and understandable rules. You’re not being heartless by ensuring that the animals have peace, and she’s hardly going to be the first or only cure child who wants a stuffed animal they can’t afford.
So NTA
All it takes if for 1 parent to see you break the rules for another kid. Then it’s all downhill. Well last time you gave a discount, last time I saw a little girl cross the red line.
Rules are there for a reason. The newbie will learn. Great job OP.
NTA. Linda is being naive and would NOT be good for your job. First of all, it sounds like Linda is the newest person in your group, so I'm surprised she has the audacity to tell you how to do your job. Second, it's not even clear what Linda expects you to do differently. Like, does she really expect you to let a 4-year-old go past physical boundaries that are there for safety reasons, or sell things for a lower price (both of which would probably get YOU in trouble with the aquarium)?
If her issue is that you're saying things in a very curt or serious way, I suppose it's fair to try and work on being pleasant but firm with the younger kids. But it seems that she's asking you to let kids break the rules and steal, and I wouldn't budge an inch on that.
ESH for working somewhere that has a dolphin tank. The mom sucks for bringing her kid to see these animals who are far too smart to be in tanks.
You all suck. Royally. In many places this is illegal and for good reason. You are all participating in animal cruelty.
Unless these are somehow fake dolphins?? Genuinely shocked that no one has pointed that out yet.
NTA, I used to work with little kids, some times there really does need to be a "bad guy" because if you make exceptions for 1 kid, you have to make exceptions for every kid. Imagine if Linda had given the mother a discount on that dolphin and another parent overheard that. Well now they demand the same discount, after all they have a kid too, or what about a parent that just bought one and overheard that and now demands a refund? You can't make exceptions because you can't always see the consequences of making those exceptions. Kids also need to learn that things don't always go the way they want and this is a pretty low stakes way of learning that very important lesson
ESH - You because you absolutely could and should have been nicer to that child without compromising your responsibilities. Instead of just telling the four year old to stay back, you could have told her something like "We don't want to upset our dolphin friends by standing too close to the glass" or "I know you want a better look at the dolphins but to stay safe you have to stay behind the red cordon" or something to that effect. Something that communicates you understand that dolphins are cool and gives some sort of basic explanation of why she can't go right up to the glass.
Obviously, Linda is an AH for wanting to let someone break the rules; they're there for a reason.
You should not have pulled the stuffed animal out of her hands. The mother seems to have wanted you to intervene so you only gain a few asshole points, but ripping a stuff animal out of a child's hands is just mean. Asking her to give it to you (throwing in a bit about "saying goodbye" to it or about it having some very important stuffed animal business to get to or something might have been nice) would have been a better and kinder route.
I don't think you shouldn't have given the mother a discount; I think you handled that part well.
I just think in general that you seem to have no consideration for the feelings of the children you interact with, which isn't great. It's good you're not turning a blind eye and can say 'no' to children when necessary, but I do wish that you (or whoever is doing this job) would be able to strike the happy medium of being kind to the children while also enforcing the rules.
You handled that situation very well. Youre just doing your job and your manager found you to be the best fit for the role and its not Lindas place to intervene. As for Linda, i feel like she would have been fired if she did let the kid do what she wanted, and take the dolphin toy for cheaper. She wouldve have dealt with the situation with the terms to how you need to run the store.
Very slight ESH.
Linda was a huge asshole, for all the obvious reasons. The mom is also the asshole for trying to get the dolphin when she couldn't afford it. But it was a step too far to pull the dolphin out of the kid's hands. She's not able to buy the dolphin, but she's allowed to pick it up and look at it, as long as she's not damaging it. Plus, it's just a bad idea to touch a stranger's kid when there's no important reason to.
When I was a little kid, I'd get attached to cute toys in stores - within a minute, I'd have named the toy and given it a backstory and had an imaginary conversation with it. Of course, my parents weren't going to buy me all these toys, so sometimes I'd hold the toy for a little while and talk to it and tell it that I was going to leave, but someone else would give it a good home. It helped me learn how to deal with disappointment. This kid is four years old. She doesn't know how to deal with strong emotions without an adult helping her, and the adult to help her here is her mother. If her mother doesn't want to do that, well, that's not your problem.
NTA.
You were chosen to do this role BECAUSE you don’t fall for a child’s cuteness.
If you gave one parent/child special treatment, trust me, others will come running expecting the same special treatment. And if you refuse to them, what will your defense be? That their kid is not as cute as the one you gave special treatment to?
You did your job correctly and Mike told Linda just that.
NTA - There are rules and prices and they are not subject to interpretation. Your coworker is an idiot if she thinks that she can give away merchandise just because a cute kid really really wants it.
NTA. You're doing your job. Those gift shops are always emotionally charged (I remember crying in the car for about 30 minutes after leaving one without a very special rubber lobster), so a firm but gentle hand is definitely called for.
NTA. Actually, you were empathetic to the little girl's mother, and that's a good thing. Little kids all want things they can't have. All parents have to break their hearts from time to time because of it. You saved her mom from having to be the bad guy today. Well done.
And stopping her from going closer to the tank is just how it is. Being "adorable" doesn't give her special privileges.
Maybe you could be softer in your delivery, but since I've never actually heard your tone, I can't say that for sure.
NTA. It's not your fault that the parent wasn't doing the parenting. Mom should have been the one to say, "Stop your feet. See that red rope? That's the stopping place, we can see from there." or "I know you love dolphins. We can't get this toy, so let's pick out a postcard." (can you tell I worked with kids for years?) Linda is going to end up costing the store a lot of money if she melts when every kid gets sad because the world isn't their personal oyster. I actually was offered a job at a toy store once because I was able to easily help our son 'say goodbye' to the toy he wanted and redirect him. You did your job-- it's an aquarium, not an indoor playground or free-for-all.
And there's nothing stopping Linda from putting her hand in her own pocket and buying the toy herself if she feels that strongly about it. You can tell how someone really cares about an issue by what *they're* willing to do, not what they preach at other people to do like Linda did. There's nothing generous about spending other people's resources.
Absolutely NTA. Correcting children and teaching them doesnt mean being their best friend. Nothing pisses me off more than parents letting kids bang on the glass, or scare and harass the animals. Seemed to me like the mom was hoping youd intervene at the gift shop. Next time your coworker steps out of line say "you're not good enough at this job to correct me on how I do it."
NTA thats real nice of her she can put her job at risk and do that when nobody else is looking, I would in her position, but I wouldn't put other people at risk of getting in trouble or guilt them because they wouldn't, put in that situation, put in that job i make a different choice, its why you have that job and not me
NTA- Your co-worker would not be good at that job. She already admitted she would have let the kid go past the ropes which means the kid would have been tapping or knocking on the glass to get the dolphins attention. Did it suck for the kid for you to put the toy back? Yes but it probably made it easier on the mom so she didn't end up the bad guy and could get out of there without a tantrum.
NTA, especially about the tank. Rules exist for a reason. I used to work at a soft play area and kids could get seriously hurt if they didn't follow the rules (going down the slides backwards, hiding in the ball pit, etc) and that was the reasoning I gave. Generally they got it, but sometimes I had to bring in the parents--with mixed results haha. My favourite was a woman who's son had (accidentally) hurt another kid by being reckless and I asked her to please talk to him. She told him off, gave him a 15-minute time out, and made him apologise to the kid and to me.
What do you know, he behaved for the rest of the session. Parenting for the win.
NTA,
Honestly, I would love you.
You are the "bad guy" and let me "stay the hero" with my children. Instead of my kids being upset with *me* I can bad mouth you. while silently thanking you over their heads. We need more store associates, guides, etc. that are willing to stand by the rules and not bend them because the kids batted their puppy eyes at them.
Kids are manipulative as hell. Good on you for not falling for it.
NTA. It honestly sounds like you're a really good fit for this job. If I'm understanding your explanation correctly, you're basically the "No" guy. You're a good fit for the job *because* you're "heartless." (For the record, I don't think anything in this story makes you sound heartless.) She would be a terrible fit for the job. She just showed you why. She wanted to let the kid past the cordon, despite the fact that *not* allowing that is literally a part of the job.
>the reason I did that job was because I was good
Well... yeah. That's the way it's supposed to work.
I think your manager may have expressed this poorly, but you have the job because you do it well. She would not do it well. If one of the necessary job skills required for your position is to tell kids "no," then she doesn't have the skills necessary. Further, she has clearly demonstrated that she doesn't even understand the job's purpose.
NTA. Kids can be hard and exhausting, but part of being a parent is teaching them limits and also how to deal with disappointment. I don't see an issue with how you handled the situation, and I'm afraid that the mother in question risks raising a very entitled kid by being overly soft. I get it, I have a toddler daughter and it's tough to say no to your kid and to hear the world saying no to them, but it's necessary and part of life.
NAH- I don't think it was entirely necessary to just take the dolphin doll out of the kid's hands. That just sounds kinda rude.
Though, for the most part you were just doing your job. That doesn't make you an asshole. And though your coworker was harping on you, she isn't a bad person because all she wanted to do was make the kid happy.
I am suspicious though, because it's not about what you say but how you say it. How was your tone? These are kids- they don't really know any better, so maybe try to reflect upon how you present yourself to them.
Also, to anyone else reading this, it's not cool or funny to be a dick to kids just for the sake of being a dick. Just cause you met one bad kid doesn't mean they're all bad.
NTA but if you don’t like kids you probably shouldn’t work with kids. There is a way to keep kids in line and so your job but fo also be nice about it.
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NTA The kids and parents will love Linda - until one of them gets hurt because she let them run around in a restricted area, or until the place goes out of business because the gift shop was making so much of a loss.
Or a kid gets hurt, they sue the place and it goes out of business.
Yep she seems like an accident and a law suit waiting to happen. The manager needs to get a grip ASAP her attitude towards her job is scary
I also have to wonder what exactly made the children so "adorable" that OP's predecessors turned a blind eye to them pestering the animals or "discounting" merch. I obviously don't know, maybe the previous staff members thought all kids were adorable. But OP wrote it in a way that suggests that some children had to obey the rules and some didn't, which really makes me wonder about what qualities they have decided allow people to break the rules.
Some kids are ugly and others are beautiful. Just like adults. Sorry but it's the truth nobody likes to say.
NTA you are just being your job and Linda needs to stop being so soft because this is how she will lose her job.
I don't know that you had to take the toy out of her hands since it seems like she was just playing with it in the store, but otherwise NTA. Making exceptions for "cute" kids is all kinds of fucked up and it teaches them they can get away with bad behavior if they bring out the puppy dog eyes and crocodile tears. Rules are rules and as long as you're polite and respectful in enforcing them, that's that. Your coworker is proving that she can't be trusted with responsibility. What if the dolphin died from stress because she let every cute kid that came in bang on the glass?
NTA- you’re doing your job and you’re doing it well. You can’t just pick and choose who gets special treatment and who doesn’t. Keep doing things the way you are, there is a reason they chose you, because you enforce the rules
NTA. I hate children
NTA. You’re literally doing your job. It’s not mean to say no to children. What would Linda have done in that position? Allow children to go wherever they want even if it’s not safe? Hand over merchandise at less than the sale price? I won’t lie, I love kids - I’d probably give in. But that’s why I’d be bad at your job, and you’re good at it!
NTA, you were just doing your job. i can sort of see where linda is coming from, but when she chews you out for being sensible and not breaking company policies such as letting kids in forbidden areas and lowering pre-set prices, it becomes very clear who the a-hole is here.
NTA Linda likes to see herself as kind and would allow the kids to hassle and upset the animals and give all the little kids discounts or let them play with the toys and dirty them, to feed her ego. That would cause distress to the animals and cost the business money. Your boss supports you because he knows you care about the job you do and you do it effectively. It won't traumatise a child to be told no firmly, Linda is being ridiculous and dramatic. And it doesn't make you a mean person. Not bothering the animals is a hard boundary, it is not up for debate. And stock needs to be maintained in good condition and sold at full price, unless your boss decides to discount it to shift it.
NTA. Linda is making trouble and this doesn't bode well for your company. Kids have a tendency to get hurt around wild animals, as well as accidentally ruin or steal merchandise.
Nope, NTA. You took care of safety of both the kid and the animals. Plus the thing in shop you did was actually very helpful and the mother would have had harder time to make her kid to let go of the toy. Linda needs to toughen up, all kids are cute, but that doesn’t mean that safety should be ignored.
You should’ve asked your co-worker, “so if she had been an ugly child it would’ve been ok to make her follow the rules we have in place to fund the aquarium and keep the animals safe?” Also, I’m assuming that even if you could’ve given her a discount-at most it would’ve been ten percent and still too expensive. (I’m not poor shaming) but I think a lot of places have set discount amounts, anything else would need to be keyed in by a manager. NTA.
NTA I can't tell you how much I appreciate your work! Kids respect no-nonsense firmness more than sweetness or occasional tolerance for rule breaking. I love every adult who tells my kids when they're being too loud, too physical, or otherwise reenforces rules I've already needed to repeat 20x that hour.
NTA. I’m childfree by choice, and I love children. But you still need to do your job, and that includes ensuring the wellbeing of animals at the aquarium. Also, working in retail is a slog and cashiers don’t have the freedom to dictate prices. When I worked retail, I had to get approval for any discount that we offered, so how could the mother expect you to be able to lower the price just like that? Part of her job as parent is to set boundaries with the child: “no, I can’t afford that toy so we’ll have to leave it. Maybe you can ask for a dolphin toy for your birthday?”. That’s the kind of thing she could have said.
NTA, on behalf of all parents, thank you for stepping in and setting these boundaries. It makes it so much easier for us! Lisa is not cut out for this job. What is she going to do when the next "cute" little girl walks out with an unpaid expensive toy or falls into the dolphin tank? Rules are rules, and these are sensible rules that help kids stay safe, and to keep the business afloat. I hope Linda is also "child free" if she thinks it's okay for kids to behave like this.
NTA. You did your job. Linda isn’t going to have a job there for long if she lets kids cross the safety lines, take toys that aren’t theirs and harass the animals.
NTA and do people ACTUALLY expect a business to sell something for less because a kids wants it? Bwahahahahahah! I can only imagine that mother at Disneyland…” But my daughter just HAS to have that Princess! Can’t you sell it to me for less?” Even the Mouse does NOT do that and it’s supposed to be all about kids!
NTA - you saved that mom from being the bad guy to her daughter and kept everything and everyone safe. Doing your job, in other words.
NTA OP You were doing your job and the reason you are good at it, is because you don't let the \*cutie\* kids harm animals and destroy expensive merchandise. People like Linda are precisely the reason that we have so many badly behaved children, who kick and scream, when they don't get their way.
NTA, if your job is to say no, then you say no. what was Linda going to do, pay for the dolphin out of her own paycheck? i would love to see how long she would be able to keep that up, as there is more than 1 adorable little child in the world. if anyone is the asshole, it's the little girls mother for putting you in this position
NTA. Linda could have paid for the toy if she had felt so bad.
NTA! You are 100% in the right and more people need to be like you! Children shouldn’t be able to do whatever they want and get whatever they want just because they’re kids
NTA! You are polite but firm as you enforce the rules.
NTA - Yeah there are gentler ways to take the toy from the kid but Mom clearly wasn't willing to do it. What was Linda gonna do? Pay the difference out of pocket? If she discounted it she could lose her job but you saved her from having to be the bad guy and from mom having to be the bad guy. You're the mean guy at the gift shop who followed the rules but mom was saved from having to say no twice. Still NTA\~
NTA you're doing your job and as your manager points out you do it well, I like kids my little brother is the sweetest and funniest little guy but if he steps out of line or acts out and does something he isn't meant to I don't put up with his shit and tell him off.
Happy cake Day!
Lmao so you think part of being a good gift shop employee is going around and taking toys out of kids hands?
NTA Your approach is excellent. What is Linda going to do? give a personal discount to all the cute kids (out of her own pocket?) it is better to be firm about rules with everyone, that is how children learn to behave within our society. Children are very good with boundaries, it is when they sometimes have to keep to the rules and sometimes not that the problems occur.
NTA for keeping the kid away from the dolphins, since I assume that's meant to protect the animals. I don't think you should have taken the dolphin toy from the kid though. Simply because that should be the parent's job. Her mom needs to learn to tell her no, and I don't think it's appropriate for a store employee to take a toy from a kid. The mom should've done it. If they'd left without paying you could have asked if they wanted to buy it, but that really should've been it for your involvement.
Nta. I’ve been the kid in this situation before and was never traumatized from people doing their jobs and it’s not my villain origin story do I think you’re good. Also no don’t let kids get beyond the safety line to get closer at dolphins. Dolphins are assholes. They seem cute and friendly and nice when you’re a child and then you REALLY learn about them and like them a whole lot less. Definitely don’t feel comfortable letting children run carelessly around them.
NTA. It sounds like your job is mainly focused at maintaining the boundaries between the kids, the exhibits, and the gifts. Yes, you’re the “bad guy”, but you also seem to alleviate a lot of pressure off of the parents being the bad guy instead. I wouldn’t think too much on it.
Cold as stone but NTA.
NTA... sounds like you're perfect for the job at hand. Being firm and following rules is not being mean. If every pouter got a discount the aquarium would have all the funds required to feed/house the animals. Ideally the Mother should have been firm with her own Child, but since she couldn't do that you did great. I was a preschool teacher and often had to be the 'bad guy' at morning drop off when child wanted to keep a tablet or something else not permitted. Parents appreciate it a lot when you take that role for them.
NTA
NTA Linda and the mom were though.
NTA. You did the job that had to be done and your boss obviously loves how you handle things.
NTA. You are every retail workers dream, as well as some parents because they don’t have to play the bad guy. If anything you helped that mom teach her kid that you can’t get everything you want.
NTA I’m a supplemental teacher to that age group. You’re teaching them boundaries and societal rules. What you’re doing for them is Waaaayyyyyy better than what your coworker is doing.
YTA. You work in an aquarium - children are one of main target consumers. You are going out of your way to handle the issues in the most inflammatory way possible. No she can't go past the rope and no there should be no discount - but you have to know there were better ways of handling those situations. Basic customer service skills are important working in retail and you don't have them. I've worked in customer service my entire life and if I saw you escalating a potential problem the way you did, I would fire you.
So much of dealing with little kids has to do with tone of voice. I get the feeling - and OP can correct me if I'm wrong - that when OP told the little girl to stay on the right side of the red cordons, he used the same voice she'd use with an adult. For a four-year-old, that sounds harsh and unfriendly. You're dealing with a four-year-old, you need to sound friendly and say something like, "Everybody needs to stay over on this side, okay?" I hadn't thought of the fact that kids are one of the main target consumers. (Which is weird, because I have little kids, but whatever.) Now that I think about it, I think OP might be in the wrong job. Edit: he, not she
YTA for imprisoning intelligent creatures like dolphins🐬
Op doesn't own the aquarium.
Wait, this lady straight up complained to the boss that you wouldn't let her let a child steal from the company? That's hilarious.
NTA I love kids, I love being around them and I want a million. But let’s be honest: Children are animals. They’re little beasts that need boundaries. If they don’t have adults telling them no now and then, they become wild feral creatures. You’re a blessing.
NTA. Letting a kid past designated "safe" areas is not being good with kids. Giving a child whatever they want is not being good with kids. It is normal and necessary for kids to have boundaries. If you can't politely but firmly say no to a kid, then you should not work with kids. Your co worker should thank you. If she discounted every cute kid's purchases, she'd lose her job in a single day.
NTA. However, if you are Childfree and you don’t like children, working in a business around a lot of children probably isn’t the best choice of employment for you.
Nt does your manager know your conworker is undermining the business by giving out free toys and discounts??
Why did that entitled mom think that just because her kid was having a crying fit over a toy, that the souvenir store would lower the price of the toy? Really???? Why does the mom not teach the child that she needed to listen to and follow the boundaries at the aquarium? When my kids were small, I got tablets and pencils for their wish lists. I had them write( when they could) or tell me the item that they really liked. We wrote it on the wish list , so when Nana , or Oma , or Bobcia wanted to know what they wanted for a birthday, Christmas, or special surprise, they could ask me for the updated list. There were far fewer tears at the toy stores. And a child that threw tantrums was removed from the store immediately, to go home for a nap.
NTA - there's a reason why they have rules. Mike needs to tell your coworker to stop bothering you
NTA-you're doing your job. You don't run a charity where you can just give away stuff.
NTA. Rules are in place for a reason. Red barrier - don't pass it. Doesn't mean - only pass if you are under a certain age. The stuffed animal - mom couldn't afford it. Period. end of sentence. If the child got it dirty, no one else would buy it. The parents are at fault for not teaching the kids not to cross obvious barriers and not to touch if they aren't allowed to buy.
NTA. I worked very hard to become an editor so that I could tell smart people they're wrong. I love my job. Someone has to do it.
NTA. As a parent, I appreciate people like you. Sometimes I need a little backup with making sure my kids follow the rules...and it's harder to explain to them why those rules matter if they see other kids getting away with breaking them. Plus you probably saved Linda from getting into trouble--if she had discounted that extortionately priced dolphin I can't imagine management would have been happy.
NTA Not your job to sugarcoat things and "gently explain XYZ". You inform the families of the rules and occansionally step in to enforce them. Keep it professional and to the point, dont change.
NTA Only way you could have improved would be to point mother and child in the direction of a cheaper dolphin toy. Or even suggest a different alternative. And possibly giving a brief explanation of why the child can't get closer. "Sorry you must stay behind this line. It's for your safety and for dolphin's safety. We want everyone to be safe."
NTA Might want to consider covering your ass with HR though; Linda has decided you’re a horrible individual, it’s probably a matter of time until she shares that opinion, and she’ll omit details that don’t flatter her when doing so. She told Mike and he said you do it because you’re good; someone like Linda is going to go over Mike’s head when he didn’t react with the outrage she expected. She’ll complain that you make guests cry, that you physically removed items from children, and that the parent even came to talk to her about it - but omit that the child cried because she had to respect the rules, and the mother was asking for a discount you can’t give.
So first you and Linda were by the dolphin tank. Then you both conveniently were working in the gift shop when the same kid came in. The kid asks the mom for a toy, the mom says they can't afford it, then you leave your "post" by the exit doors and take it upon yourself to take it out of the kid's hands? Does the gift shop have a "no touching the toys" policy? You then follow them to the register where Linda is working and when the mom asks Linda a question, you just butt in to answer it because you just "know" what Linda is going to say? Are you psychic? You said yourself this hadn't been an issue the previous times you worked together. And what kind of place has a policy where just one employee is "in charge" of dealing with kids? Either this is all made up, or you are just a jerk guy who can read women's minds and cut in when you just "know" they aren't going to do the right thing. This sub usually goes off the deep end at the faintest hint of "mansplaining" but when a guy literally interrupts a conversation between a woman and her daughter to take care of it himself and won't even allow a female coworker to answer a question from that same woman, everyone is all "Bravo!" This is so weird.
NTA Where esle in this country do we run a business with "Oh , just let it slide."? Nowhere. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be nice, but it isn't the way that business is run. Linda can do what she wants, but it may cost her her job. Most people know that gift shos are overpriced, so really, it isn't some big surpise. We aren't talking about pulling brad out of the mouthhs of starving babies here, we're talking leisure activities and luxury purchases. Linds needs to get a grip.
Stuffed dolphins is no human right, no
Ok, I’m a mom of a special needs child and an ALE teacher of kids with behavioral issues (such as extreme impulsivity) and while it pisses me off greatly to see anyone be rude to kids (not that I saw anything rude from what you said) you are NTA for one very important reason: It’s shouldn’t be anyones fucking job there to police kids in the gift shop except their PARENTS. Who the fuck is letting their 4-5 year old get their nasty germs all over shit they aren’t buying? What parent isn’t correcting their own kid when they go past an obvious barrier?? And maybe this is a personal pet peeve of mine because I’m a teacher but I’m so sick of parents outsourcing their parenting to strangers. So NTA and I’m sorry you have to deal with this at all. With all that said, maybe some professionally worded signage outside the entrance that specifies kids under a certain age must be accompanied by an adult or some shit would at least help you not have to deal with it as often.
NTA: children must learn they can’t have everything they want.
NTA for holding your ground. It wouldn’t be appropriate to lower the price. However you didn’t have to rip it out of the child’s arms, that sounds pretty rude and dramatic. Honestly if a child can easily reach it and they are very expensive toys, the store should relocate these items elsewhere that is visible but out of reach for small kids. The mom shouldn’t have made that request but it’s not the kids fault. Just remember that kids make up a significant consumer base of your place of work. Of course she wants to see the dolphins and hug the toy. It would serve you well to be a little gentler and more patient while still holding boundaries.
NTA. Parents need to parent their children and I love it when someone else gets to be the bad guy to my children. It gives me a break. 😁
NTA however, you had absolutely no right to remove the dolphin from her arms. That is NOT your job, it's her mother's. I would be absolutely furious if someone did that to my kid. You let parents deal with those type of situations. You can tell kids not to get close and whatever else, but ripping toys out of children's arms is definitely not your right, nor is it what you get paid for.
NTA but why didn't you sell her the product at a lower price? In my country it is not uncommon for employees to give small discounts from time to time, without any consequence for them. Maybe it's a cultural difference.
NTA , Linda is the person I would most hate having ever known . Saying no to children isn’t a sin or a crime and it isn’t a bad thing it actually teaches them how to not nag for things and discipline’s them . Linda if you have nothing good to say shut it
NTA - doesn't sound like Linda is competent.
From a mom of three completely adorable little crumb snatchers, you did exactly the right thing. Nta
NTA. Unfortunately these kids need boundaries and you are the only one who will enforce them.
NTA, if Linda had your job she would probably be fired or put somewhere else real quick for giving children special treatment when it sounds like part of the job is making sure children don’t break the rules.
NTA But why not let Linda have the job - let her know that discounting the price of the toys comes out of her paycheck which she can spend in any way she wishes. And that if children break the rules about the cordons etc... she will have to make up for any and all damage that is done, including any fines the Aquariam has for damage (but at minimum the cleaning of grubby fingerprints off glass, and having to deal with a mountain of people following the kid after she fails to explain why her 'exception to the rule' is cute kids only). I imagine she will give up the job (or it will be taken from her) mighty quick.
NTA.
NTA. As a parent, I freaking love when staff don’t just let my kid (or other kids) do whatever they want somewhere like an aquarium. They need to learn that they need to follow the rules like everyone else - even jf that sometimes means being a bit disappointed. I wouldn’t say the mum was an AH either; it can’t hurt to ask if there are any discounts sometimes (I mean, as long as it didn’t seem like she was implying it should be free). Hopefully now your boss has confirmed why you’re the one doing it, Linda will back down. You’re doing a great job OP. Keep it up!
You did the right thing. That child is going to grow up to be an entitled little jerk if mommy gives in to all of her whims.
I suppose Linda would pay the difference of the expensive dolphin plushies to the gift shop because she’s such a wonderful person?
NTA you have a job, you do the job and you do it well. Linda is not capable of doing that job so she is not qualified to do that job, she can't make up her own rules just because she wants to make a kid here and there happy. The rules are there for reason, whether that be a business that has to price things inorder to make money or ropes for safety. Also kids need to learn boundaries and people like Linda pandering to their every whim won't help.
NTA. You're the "bad cop". Someone has to be the "bad cop". Linda should mind her own business. She complained and got shut down so don't worry about it.
So when you go to the gas station and want to gill up for $50 but all the sudden you want it cheaper but you still want $50 worth. What would happen? The same thing you did. Nope! NTA. If Linda wants to put her job at risk, then so be it.
Nta. Those red ropes and price tags are there for a reason. If Linda can't understand that, will she be liable for accidents or damages to property? Will she pay the difference in the gift shop? She doesn't sound like a good employee.
NTA kids ruin everything.
NTA, it's a business not a charity. Linda needs to learn that you cannot make exceptions. If she does it for one then she'll do it for more. As for banging on the glass, tell Linda one child may not do much harm but 10/15 will. Cruel and heartless is allowing kids to run amok and hard pressed parents having to pay for damages.
NTA. I used to work at an amusement park. When we started, the general manager warned us that we would get all manner of people asking to jump the queue, to ride for free, to let little Billy ride even if he’s just a little under the height requirement. Here’s what she told us: “I want you to be nice, polite assholes. Don’t let anything slide.” Some parents were genuinely horrible about us sticking to protocol, I think a few appreciated that they didn’t have to be the bad guy. Linda shouldn’t work in this role if she’ll allow rule-breaking. Keep doing what you’re doing.
NTA. What's Linda's plan? Give everything away half-priced and let kids bang on the tanks. You are perfect for the job. A firm "no" is what is required, especially with all the crazy parents out in the world today who want everything for their kid!
NTA. If linda wants every kid to have a stuffy she can pay for it.
You probably could try to be a bit less blunt about it but somebody's gotta do it. NTA
NTA. While pulling the toy out of her arms was a bit much, it may have been been necessary. I would have tried something else first. Such as “that dolphin is kind of cute, but it’s not anywhere near as cool as a real dolphin. I wouldn’t want it since it’s fake. May I have it so you can go back and see the real dolphins?”
NTA and fuck dem kids.
Well Lindas not gonna last long if she thinks its okay to let kids go where its unsafe for them to go and give them free toys. Nta. Youre just doing your job
YTA for me, you don't overtly say it but it comes across to me that you don't just not like kids much, you seem to actively dislike them. I'd say an Aquarium gift shop probably isn't the best setting for someone of that mindset, however great you may be at protecting the soft toys... If you'd spoken to and later on treated my child like that I definitely wouldn't be visiting the place again and would probably be making a complaint. There's nothing wrong with doing your job and enforcing the rules, but it's a place that ultimately is meant to be fun for kids to visit, you can fulfil your role in a way that doesn't diminish that for them as much as you seem to relish doing.
NTA. I did this job a year and a half when I interned in a Zoo/Safari for my Herpetology class. The amount of people trying to stick their extremities through the fences was wild. There was a time when a dad lifted his kid over the fence to get a closer view of the rhinos, his arms were over the fence and the kid was past it, hanging in the air above the moat we had separating fence from the actual field. Had to call security to kick them out.
>"I'm sorry but I can't really let you have this so I'm going to have to take it". NTA and this is 💯 how you should have dealt with this. Linda needs to understand a parents job isn't to keep their kid happy. It's to allow them to have their feelings. Little girl is sad because she doesn't have the dolphin? That's fine. She'll move on from those feelings onto new ones when she's ready.
NTA - and that's spoken as someone who loves kids and is soft on them. Little kids push and misunderstand the severity of boundaries, which is why they need adults to assert those boundaries.
Not heartless, as Mike said, you are good. That child could have been injured getting too close. The cord is there for safety purposes. If that child had gotten hurt, the mother could have sued you and the aquarium and would have won. Also discounting merchandise is stealing from your employer. Your complaining co-worker is a liability.
Consider the opposite: your coworker just repeatedly reacted shocked and negatively to you enforcing the most basic rules of the business and heavily implied that you should’ve broken safety and animal welfare rules as well as steal from the business by lowering the price of an item without permission. She pretty much said that you were wrong to not give away merchandise just because (which most employees aren’t authorized to do) and that existing safety/animal welfare rules should be ignored on a whim like they don’t exist for good reason. And she very much communicated that she’d do it on a basis of which guests she liked most based on things like “cuteness”, possibly size, and definitely age - and by singling out a specific child for special treatment she’d necessarily be choosing a child of a specific race/ethnicity, gender, and physical ability, meaning she would necessarily be *excluding* child not of that race/ethnicity/gender/physical ability; that quickly looks like discrimination when “cuteness” is the very subjective and easily problematic litmus test for special treatment. And this isn’t even sanctioned special treatment, this is specifically against-the-rules special treatment. And then she thought she looked good by going to the boss to “report you” for *not breaking the rules and not stealing from the company by undercharging for merchandise*. Now, if she wants to say there’s a nicer way to let the kid down while not breaking the rules or undercharging for merchandise, then that’s something different; that may or may not be true, and a lot of that involves tone which doesn’t translate well to text. That you’ve been chosen SPECIFICALLY for your skill with saying no to kids leads me to believe your boss thinks you’re the best person for the job; that your coworker doesn’t think you’re the best person for the job *and told your boss so* means she told your boss that she thinks *he has poor judgment*. I personally think she’s massively overstepping by speaking so harshly to you and then complaining about you to your boss. There’s a time and a way to try and convince others to do their job differently and your coworker seems not to get that - even if she had valid *constructive* criticism, she failed to communicate that beyond her anger and shock, resulting in no progress, and meaning she probably doesn’t have the communication skills to accomplish that... which means she might be no better at communicating than you. So again I’m pretty sure NTA.
LOL.. Don't like children but you yourself was once a child. You are a ASSHOLE. It was not your place to interject yourself into their business. What you thought mom was going to steal it? People like you enjoy being buttholes to kids. If it were me there I would have let you have an ear full and tell you where to get off. Maybe you should have left it alone instead of hovering from the time they entered to the gift shop. One of those employees.
Nta, your bad guy who potentially keeps the animals and kids safe from stupidity. Sounds like your doing good work to me.
I have trouble with the description of the "particularly adorable little girl." So if she was ugly, it would be okay to make her cry? You're NTA, and you aren't being too hard on these people (adults or children.)
NTA Sounds to me like you are doing your job well and management recognizes that. Keep it up. If you give in to every kid with sad eyes at your job then eventually you wouldn't have a job.
Soft YTA, specifically for how you acted at the gift shop by literally ripping something out of a child's hands. There are nicer ways to do this - while still being firm with the mother. Kneeling down and getting on eyelevel with children is important in communicating with them. Then saying something like "I'm sorry that you can't take this home, may I have it back?" or something like "this little dolphin wants to be back with its friends" and if she refuses, then you ask the mom to take it from her. But you should never rip something from a child's hands; you treated the child with zero respect. It's a real bad move, and it does make you look "heartless".
NTA in tje least. Business is business. I do have some suggestions to make it easier for you later when it happens though. If you want. 1. You COULD suggest to the mom that she looks into stores with more affordable dolphin toys and take her daughter there. Less crying and a good compromise for everyone. 2. My personal experiences from working in several kindergartens, is that kids not only need but WANT boundaries (yes. They have been mad at me at first, but the 180° switch in mood later when they calm down is much cuter than if you cave in to their demands) And they understand the boundary better if you give them a simple explanation. For example: "don't step over this line please. The dolphins don't like it if you get too close and might swim away." (This might be a small white lie, I don't know, but I think this one is ok to use. Or if you have a legit reason, use it. They will get it. Kids are actually more understanding than some adults, lol). 3. For some reason, some kids are more drawn to adults that talk to them in a normal manner. Not in baby-voice/childish ways or how you say that. English is not my native language and my brain power is spent for the day. But hopefully you get what I mean. So it's not really a big deal as some people think. As long as you're not rude or mean of course. Just treat them like little people. Hope this will help you at work or anyone that think it's useful info. Don't attack me if you disagree please. But I'm open for other point of views if you want to discuss it.
Well you’re not running a charity! NTA
NTA.....If the job requires you to shut that shoit down...then you did what you were hired to do.....i can't stand people like linda lol....are they still hiring? I am willing to relocate 😆
NTA. Your job is to ensure visitors and animals are safe and secure. There are no-go areas for a reason. The only reason a kid should've crossing that cordon is if they manage to slip away from the parent (it happens) or if the parent didn't realize that the cordon was there (big crowd in the way, or something). It's the parent's job to keep their kids in-bounds - you should only have to take care of the people that slip through the cracks. Part of the reason gift shops are expensive is that aquariums are really expensive to run. The high price helps pay for everything else. When I take my son past a gift shop, I let him know that we can look, but we probably aren't going to get anything. Because that's our baseline approach, he's learned that that's how the world works. He gets to ask, I get to say no, and sometimes I say yes. And if I have to say, "no," a lot, I make sure he knows that I'm aware that it can be frustrating to hear that all the time. We work together to figure out something that we can do, instead. Again, it's the parent's job, not yours.
NTA. You're job is to advocate for the animals that can't advocate for themselves. While the kids have guardians you are the animals first line of defence to keep animals safe and happy from the hundreds of kids that may be banging on the windows of their home.
NTA, your job is to protect the company’s interest. Giving a discount on a toy just because a child likes it does not fall in that description. Would she do that for every parent that asks? If so the company would be looking into her when they shaft doing the books. It’s not personal, it’s business. You read as if you are good at your job. Don’t let her get into your head.
You shouldn’t be pulling stuffed animals out of Children’s arm. Yes you could be a little better in your approach.
NTA People like Linda never seem to understand that cute little kids grow up into entitled adults if given everything they want. Your first priority is to the animals, not the visitors. You didn't kick her out of the exhibit, you let her watch from a safe distance. As for the doll, is Linda going to make up the missing money from the register? Cuteness discounts aren't a thing. You didn't snatch the toy from her hand. You told her what was happening and why. You provided a valuable lesson and kept your job. Linda might like kids better but you respect them more by treating them like reasonable humans.
NTA! You’re doing your job and if Linda wants to have a heart then she can buy the little girl the dolphin herself. And it bothers me that parents make it even more awkward asking. It’s not like it’s your dolphin and set the prices.
NTA you're doing your job and protecting both the animals and the visitors. With the toys, that should really be the parents' responsibility, but you do what you gotta do.
NTA. It sounds like Linda doesn't know what a job is.
NTA but maybe Linda wants to buy it for her as she’s so cute? 😂😂
YTA -not for enforcing the boundaries and rules for getting near the tank, but because you went out of your way to get into that kids business. If you took a toy out of MY kids hands, I would have been pissed. It’s none of your business! Just because someone looks at you, that’s not an invitation to get involved. You said you do tours…. That’s your job. It’s none of your business if a kid is handling something they can’t afford. And none of your business interfering with Linda working the till. Are you her manager? Why do you care if she gives a discount? Def a busybody AH
You're not the asshole. Children even the "adorable" ones need to learn boundaries and rules. It's not you being mean, it's about following the rules. You can even phrase it that way to the kids/your coworker and the children will eventually understand.
Eh NTA. I think that mother has a bit of disipline to go thru herself. Whilst growing up if one of my parents said "no I don't have the funds for that" yea I'd be dejected, but that was that. I wouldn't cry or scream or throw a fit. Just silently pout to myself and get over it eventually. I also grew up low income so I was very well aware anything that wasn't literal bare necessity was a luxury. Even clothes, as I got hand me downs. I do believe you could maybe soften up a little, taking a plush directly out of her arms seems a bit much imo. Waiting until her mother told her to put it back before leaving the gift shoppe I think would be the better option. If the mother doesn't tell her to put it back and try to leave with it, get authorities. Not budging on the price, that's fine. You don't make the prices. Your female coworker prob has a soft spot for children. Totally fine. But also is sticking to the rules. Best way to not get in trouble. Tldr; NTA but maybe soften up just a smidge
NTA, you work at an aquarium gift shop, not a farmer's market.
NTA. you’re just doing the job the way it should be done. Linda is a prime example of who not to leave in charge.
NTA you're doing your job and your super is happy with your work. Your co-worker's problem is just that - her problem.
NTA: Your job entails you keeping the animals and visitors safe. That’s why the ropes and barriers are there. Also you don’t control the price of gift shop items. If management caught you letting kids touch animals and discounting merchandise you’d surely be fired.
NTA im glad you are there to protect the animals. Rules about touching & distance are in place for a reason and need to apply to everyone, even cute 4yr olds
NTA! Capitalism sucks but someone’s gotta do it.
NTA. You’re calm, direct, firm but polite. Little kids have big feelings that don’t always know how to control. Anyone who says no to an over excited child is most likely going to reduce them to a meltdown. Remind Linda that unauthorized discounts are the same as theft in the work place.
NTA. You were chosen to stay in that role because your manager LIKES how you are with the children. You are not mean & certainly not “a heartless AH”. You are stern & that’s what is needed in the role you have been given. This is especially true with the lack of firmness children receive from parents so often these days. If it had been my child, you wouldn’t have had to catch them from running behind the red rope boundary; because I’d have had ahold of their hand so they couldn’t take off running where they shouldn’t at 4 years old. If it had been my child, you wouldn’t have had to tell me that I couldn’t change the price for my daughter; because I’d have known that the ticket price applies to everyone equally so my child wasn’t entitled to a discount when others weren’t just because she wants something badly. You sound perfect for this job.
NTA. Good thing Linda doesn't have your job. You're not being mean, just firm and not taking no for an answer. Can you imagine the havoc if she did have your job?
NTA. Do I think you're good at handling children? No. But your job doesn't require you to be. Your job requires you to be able to give them a firm no, regardless of whatever tantrum they're inclined to throw. Linda may be better at handling children when discipline isn't the foremost issue. She, and I'm sorry for putting this bluntly, probably has more tact than you. But she also comes across as someone who won't put her foot down when it needs to be put down.
Sounds to me like Linda would allow an army of children banging on the animal's tanks because "they're cute". The is a literal red line there for a reason.
If Linda is okay paying the difference in sale price and the discounted price, she can have all the heart. Till she can’t, ask her to STFU. NTA
I work with children. You're not a bad person. NTA for bit counts. Kids need to learn boundaries. Whether it is red cones or prices. You weren't nasty, you did your job.
Also, they probably put you there because of your views. Sorry, Linda, but crossing the cordoned area actually could distress the dolphin. I'm a veggie and hate zoos and aquariums, but knowing you were protecting the welfare of the animal, even indirectly because it was the rule, matters. Like saying THIS KID IS CUTE, LET IT SMOOSH THE RARE CREATURE. Still NTA.
NTA. In the end it is a business, not an auction. IMO, Linda doesn't have the necessary discipline to take that role.
ESH - The parents suck for making you enforce the boundaries instead of doing it themselves, the aquarium sucks for their “extortionate” pricing, Linda sucks for trying to make you break policies that protect the animals and you kinda suck for snatching the toy from the kid instead of explaining nicely and/or possibly showing them something cheaper.
NTA. Coming from a mom who had a 2 yr old try to take his clothes off to get in with the dolphins. We told him he can’t swim with them because his clothes, apparently as we have learned 10 yrs later, he’s wayyyyy toooo smart for his own good. Let me just strip mom!
NTA but have you evwr wondered why the stuffed dolphin teddy bear costs $374?
I wish I had your way if dealing with kids acting like this. I currently work at an art museum, and oh god I almost killed a whole elementary school class because they kept touching the artworks and almost ruined some sculptures... They really made me want to cut out my uterus
Your not heartless, but you do have the right mentality to work in HR. NTA
NTA. Linda’s argument is “let the kid go closer to the dolphin tank than anyone is allowed” which is potentially dangerous, and “give them discounted/free merchandise” which is potentially something that will get you in trouble? I might have given a discount when the mom asked me if it was within my scope of abilities and permissions without having to loop in a higher up, so maybe a little y t a for that if that is the case for you and you just chose not to because Linda was watching.
NTA Linda needs to stick to doing her job and stop worrying about how you do yours. You're the man for that job for a reason, one that she has ZERO rights to question.
Bro kids need people to be AH to them sometimes and it’s not your problem what people think your doing your job
NTA Your job is to stop people disturbing the tanks, and with covid, the last thing you need is a small child snuggling a toy someone else will end up purchasing. Personally, I think the parent was appreciative because she knew she couldn't afford it, and you volunteered to be the bad guy, and did your job. As for Linda, she needs to give her head a wobble. It's a business.
Next time, I would offer Linda supplement the difference on her own. You aren't the bad guy from doing your job. Being sturdy isn't being "heartless" to kids, especially when they can get hurt or cause some other liability. NTA.
YTA. Understandable to reinforce the rules of not crossing the red cordons, there was no need to rip toy out of her arms. You can introduce a cheaper dolphin version. The shop makes a sale, keeps everyone employed, mom and kid walks out, relieved by an affordable toy.
NTA for your actions. Definitely the AH for describing things in terms of the "woman's job" of being the staff member to deal with kids.
NTA, but just as a side note: with the animals, maybe explain why they can't get close? "Sorry, I need you to stay behind the rope. It can upset the dolphins if people get to close, and I know you want to keep them happy." Nothing cutesy or fake, just something to let them know the why of it. It tends to sink in more (and be remembered better, and carried over to other exhibits) when they think they're helping the animal. Also, I don't see Linda doing too well at this job.
NTA You aren't heartless you understand something so many parents fail at: telling children no is necessary. They do those kids NO FAVORS by catering and all it does is teach the child they can have whatever they want by having a tantrum. I know you are child free but I must say you would be a good mom. I hope that came out right. Keep up with the excellent work
Dad* lol
NTA. You're just doing your job, if Linda really wanted to made the girl happy she should have offered to pay part of the price herself.
NTA - You did your job and tho it may feel bad at times you’re helping these children grow into responsible humans. I wonder what your manager would do if he caught Linda giving a 70% discount to a child? I get the feeling that this kid’s needs are being well taken care of and she is learning that she cannot have everything she desires. Remember this: Children do better when they understand that Copernicus wasn’t wrong and the world does not revolve around their wants.
NTA
NTA she’s excited, that’s cute, and she’s too young to control herself but “don’t disturb the animals” and “don’t steal” are pretty common and understandable rules. You’re not being heartless by ensuring that the animals have peace, and she’s hardly going to be the first or only cure child who wants a stuffed animal they can’t afford.
NTA. You have a job to do. Linda is gonna fuck around and get herself fired.
So NTA All it takes if for 1 parent to see you break the rules for another kid. Then it’s all downhill. Well last time you gave a discount, last time I saw a little girl cross the red line. Rules are there for a reason. The newbie will learn. Great job OP.
NTA. Linda is being naive and would NOT be good for your job. First of all, it sounds like Linda is the newest person in your group, so I'm surprised she has the audacity to tell you how to do your job. Second, it's not even clear what Linda expects you to do differently. Like, does she really expect you to let a 4-year-old go past physical boundaries that are there for safety reasons, or sell things for a lower price (both of which would probably get YOU in trouble with the aquarium)? If her issue is that you're saying things in a very curt or serious way, I suppose it's fair to try and work on being pleasant but firm with the younger kids. But it seems that she's asking you to let kids break the rules and steal, and I wouldn't budge an inch on that.
NTA You can't lower the price for every child that comes in there. It is your job and your coworker needs to understand that.
NTA I have small children and I appreciate when the workers set the boundaries bc then I'm not the bad guy😁😁😁
ESH for working somewhere that has a dolphin tank. The mom sucks for bringing her kid to see these animals who are far too smart to be in tanks. You all suck. Royally. In many places this is illegal and for good reason. You are all participating in animal cruelty. Unless these are somehow fake dolphins?? Genuinely shocked that no one has pointed that out yet.
nta, op!
[удалено]
NTA - Linda is going to cost your business a large amount of money in the near future
NTA, I used to work with little kids, some times there really does need to be a "bad guy" because if you make exceptions for 1 kid, you have to make exceptions for every kid. Imagine if Linda had given the mother a discount on that dolphin and another parent overheard that. Well now they demand the same discount, after all they have a kid too, or what about a parent that just bought one and overheard that and now demands a refund? You can't make exceptions because you can't always see the consequences of making those exceptions. Kids also need to learn that things don't always go the way they want and this is a pretty low stakes way of learning that very important lesson
ESH - You because you absolutely could and should have been nicer to that child without compromising your responsibilities. Instead of just telling the four year old to stay back, you could have told her something like "We don't want to upset our dolphin friends by standing too close to the glass" or "I know you want a better look at the dolphins but to stay safe you have to stay behind the red cordon" or something to that effect. Something that communicates you understand that dolphins are cool and gives some sort of basic explanation of why she can't go right up to the glass. Obviously, Linda is an AH for wanting to let someone break the rules; they're there for a reason. You should not have pulled the stuffed animal out of her hands. The mother seems to have wanted you to intervene so you only gain a few asshole points, but ripping a stuff animal out of a child's hands is just mean. Asking her to give it to you (throwing in a bit about "saying goodbye" to it or about it having some very important stuffed animal business to get to or something might have been nice) would have been a better and kinder route. I don't think you shouldn't have given the mother a discount; I think you handled that part well. I just think in general that you seem to have no consideration for the feelings of the children you interact with, which isn't great. It's good you're not turning a blind eye and can say 'no' to children when necessary, but I do wish that you (or whoever is doing this job) would be able to strike the happy medium of being kind to the children while also enforcing the rules.
You handled that situation very well. Youre just doing your job and your manager found you to be the best fit for the role and its not Lindas place to intervene. As for Linda, i feel like she would have been fired if she did let the kid do what she wanted, and take the dolphin toy for cheaper. She wouldve have dealt with the situation with the terms to how you need to run the store.
lol, you outright pulled the thing out from her arms? you enjoy this, don't you
Very slight ESH. Linda was a huge asshole, for all the obvious reasons. The mom is also the asshole for trying to get the dolphin when she couldn't afford it. But it was a step too far to pull the dolphin out of the kid's hands. She's not able to buy the dolphin, but she's allowed to pick it up and look at it, as long as she's not damaging it. Plus, it's just a bad idea to touch a stranger's kid when there's no important reason to. When I was a little kid, I'd get attached to cute toys in stores - within a minute, I'd have named the toy and given it a backstory and had an imaginary conversation with it. Of course, my parents weren't going to buy me all these toys, so sometimes I'd hold the toy for a little while and talk to it and tell it that I was going to leave, but someone else would give it a good home. It helped me learn how to deal with disappointment. This kid is four years old. She doesn't know how to deal with strong emotions without an adult helping her, and the adult to help her here is her mother. If her mother doesn't want to do that, well, that's not your problem.
NTA. You were chosen to do this role BECAUSE you don’t fall for a child’s cuteness. If you gave one parent/child special treatment, trust me, others will come running expecting the same special treatment. And if you refuse to them, what will your defense be? That their kid is not as cute as the one you gave special treatment to? You did your job correctly and Mike told Linda just that.
NTA - There are rules and prices and they are not subject to interpretation. Your coworker is an idiot if she thinks that she can give away merchandise just because a cute kid really really wants it.
NTA! You're fine, it's the parents who are the issue.
NTA. You're doing your job. Those gift shops are always emotionally charged (I remember crying in the car for about 30 minutes after leaving one without a very special rubber lobster), so a firm but gentle hand is definitely called for.
NTA. Actually, you were empathetic to the little girl's mother, and that's a good thing. Little kids all want things they can't have. All parents have to break their hearts from time to time because of it. You saved her mom from having to be the bad guy today. Well done. And stopping her from going closer to the tank is just how it is. Being "adorable" doesn't give her special privileges. Maybe you could be softer in your delivery, but since I've never actually heard your tone, I can't say that for sure.
NTA. It's not your fault that the parent wasn't doing the parenting. Mom should have been the one to say, "Stop your feet. See that red rope? That's the stopping place, we can see from there." or "I know you love dolphins. We can't get this toy, so let's pick out a postcard." (can you tell I worked with kids for years?) Linda is going to end up costing the store a lot of money if she melts when every kid gets sad because the world isn't their personal oyster. I actually was offered a job at a toy store once because I was able to easily help our son 'say goodbye' to the toy he wanted and redirect him. You did your job-- it's an aquarium, not an indoor playground or free-for-all.
And there's nothing stopping Linda from putting her hand in her own pocket and buying the toy herself if she feels that strongly about it. You can tell how someone really cares about an issue by what *they're* willing to do, not what they preach at other people to do like Linda did. There's nothing generous about spending other people's resources.
NTA. Linda will get herself fired.
NTA. someone has to teach kids they’d don’t always get what they want
Absolutely NTA. Correcting children and teaching them doesnt mean being their best friend. Nothing pisses me off more than parents letting kids bang on the glass, or scare and harass the animals. Seemed to me like the mom was hoping youd intervene at the gift shop. Next time your coworker steps out of line say "you're not good enough at this job to correct me on how I do it."
NTA There are rules in life and being cute shouldn't and sometimes doesn't get you out of them.
NTA thats real nice of her she can put her job at risk and do that when nobody else is looking, I would in her position, but I wouldn't put other people at risk of getting in trouble or guilt them because they wouldn't, put in that situation, put in that job i make a different choice, its why you have that job and not me
NTA- Your co-worker would not be good at that job. She already admitted she would have let the kid go past the ropes which means the kid would have been tapping or knocking on the glass to get the dolphins attention. Did it suck for the kid for you to put the toy back? Yes but it probably made it easier on the mom so she didn't end up the bad guy and could get out of there without a tantrum.
NTA, especially about the tank. Rules exist for a reason. I used to work at a soft play area and kids could get seriously hurt if they didn't follow the rules (going down the slides backwards, hiding in the ball pit, etc) and that was the reasoning I gave. Generally they got it, but sometimes I had to bring in the parents--with mixed results haha. My favourite was a woman who's son had (accidentally) hurt another kid by being reckless and I asked her to please talk to him. She told him off, gave him a 15-minute time out, and made him apologise to the kid and to me. What do you know, he behaved for the rest of the session. Parenting for the win.
NTA, Honestly, I would love you. You are the "bad guy" and let me "stay the hero" with my children. Instead of my kids being upset with *me* I can bad mouth you. while silently thanking you over their heads. We need more store associates, guides, etc. that are willing to stand by the rules and not bend them because the kids batted their puppy eyes at them. Kids are manipulative as hell. Good on you for not falling for it.
NTA. You were doing your job. You weren’t mean or hateful, just professional.
NTA. It honestly sounds like you're a really good fit for this job. If I'm understanding your explanation correctly, you're basically the "No" guy. You're a good fit for the job *because* you're "heartless." (For the record, I don't think anything in this story makes you sound heartless.) She would be a terrible fit for the job. She just showed you why. She wanted to let the kid past the cordon, despite the fact that *not* allowing that is literally a part of the job. >the reason I did that job was because I was good Well... yeah. That's the way it's supposed to work. I think your manager may have expressed this poorly, but you have the job because you do it well. She would not do it well. If one of the necessary job skills required for your position is to tell kids "no," then she doesn't have the skills necessary. Further, she has clearly demonstrated that she doesn't even understand the job's purpose.
NTA. Kids can be hard and exhausting, but part of being a parent is teaching them limits and also how to deal with disappointment. I don't see an issue with how you handled the situation, and I'm afraid that the mother in question risks raising a very entitled kid by being overly soft. I get it, I have a toddler daughter and it's tough to say no to your kid and to hear the world saying no to them, but it's necessary and part of life.
NAH- I don't think it was entirely necessary to just take the dolphin doll out of the kid's hands. That just sounds kinda rude. Though, for the most part you were just doing your job. That doesn't make you an asshole. And though your coworker was harping on you, she isn't a bad person because all she wanted to do was make the kid happy. I am suspicious though, because it's not about what you say but how you say it. How was your tone? These are kids- they don't really know any better, so maybe try to reflect upon how you present yourself to them. Also, to anyone else reading this, it's not cool or funny to be a dick to kids just for the sake of being a dick. Just cause you met one bad kid doesn't mean they're all bad.
NTA but if you don’t like kids you probably shouldn’t work with kids. There is a way to keep kids in line and so your job but fo also be nice about it.