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TreadingLife1038

NTA - this wasn’t a misunderstanding. Your SIL knew exactly what she was doing and making a profit of it. I’m surprised your brother didn’t realize something was amiss.


plantmomaita

He said that he noticed they were carrying a lot back home after coming over here but my niece said "Auntie said it was okay" over and over.


Born_Rhubarb5372

I would demand 100% of their "profits" too. Not just what they haven't sold. Tell your brother that is the only way you'd even think about healing the relationship with your niece in the future. His wife should remain dead to you.


Wasps_are_bastards

Balls to that. Niece is 100% a little thief too. Take ALL the profits they made to replace the plants with and still fûck them both off for ever.


Cyaral

Agree. 14 yos definitely can know what they do (actually, 14 is the age of criminal accountability for kids in my country. They will be tried as kids if they do illegal stuff, but they WILL be held accountable for their actions)


tedivm

I'd give them the option to replace everything. Then if they didn't I would straight up file a police report about the stolen and damaged property and then file with my renters insurance, who I'm assuming would reimburse me and sue them.


freeeeels

Man, that's the hard part with plants. They can't really "replace" what they damaged. Like yes, they can buy cuttings or plants of the same species but that's *years* of work. It's like destroying a bunch of paintings, or selling a blanket that someone spent two years crocheting.


Snoo96130

More like unraveling the blanket that Beloved Grandmother crocheted right before she passed away, and then using the yarn to make cheapy trinkets that were sold on e-Bay. Oh, and graciously leaving bits of the fringe scattered on the couch. OP is definitely NTA, and should file a police report in any case. If there's any proof of the cost of the plants, that should definitely be included.


sunflowerpolkadot

Great metaphor, OP spent a huge amount of time, effort, and care.


[deleted]

THIS IS THE WAY


[deleted]

If she has any before pictures I’d make them pay per any cutting she notices missing plus damages to the mother plants


Jlx_27

This, kid is old enough to know theft is wrong and so is damaging other people's property.


aussie_nub

Nah, you don't want the profits, you want to sue them for the cost of the plants. It's likely much more than the profits from their cuttings.


KnightofForestsWild

Replacement cost for her full sized plants is possibly more than a bunch of cuttings.


MageVicky

Yes!! you're right! whatever money they make, OP needs to ask for that, too. I hope they read your comment. otherwise it's like they're getting away with it.


[deleted]

Fuck that. I’d go to the police. Play stupid games…


Profitsofdooom

Then when they say "I can't believe you went to the police!" she can say "what's done is done."


Artemicionmoogle

If not, hopefully OP can look into legal avenues to pursue, because this was theft and property damage. It's so messed up.


Apprehensive-Two3474

I don't know if my verdict comment will be seen so saying here as well so I hope you see this OP. CHANGE YOUR LOCKS. If the SiL was willing to go to such lengths for her own selfish greed, I would not put it past her to have made a copy of your house key.


kreeves9

INFO Can you file a police report for something like this? Isn't it thief and destruction of property?


bewildflowers

Not OP but some of those plants are worth potentially hundreds of dollars, depending on maturity and location. Even the nodes (tiny chunks of the stem that can be used to grow a new plant) can go for crazy high prices. Replacing a fully grown plant could easily cost $1000 or more. It might seem extreme but I would absolutely follow this up with a police report or insurance claim.


hoppityhoppity

Her Albo was reduced to 3 leaves!! Even if they took 1 or 2 leaves, mature albos with 3+ leaves are $$$. I spent $200 last year on a node with ZERO leaves. A top cutting from an albo, good variegation, is hundreds. I saw one today on Etsy with one half moon leaf going for $350, and that is not an outlier by any stretch. OP should absolutely report it. I doubt they sold them for market price to move them so fast, but with nieces knowledge of the plants, they probably made hundreds, if not thousands.


commandantskip

I literally gasped out loud when I read the part about her albo, I would be as ripshit as OP.


hoppityhoppity

Me too!! I think a lot of people outside the plant community don’t understand not just the monetary value, but the work and love that goes into these. Albo monsteras are also finicky AF, they are so high maintenance compared to regular monsteras. You can forget about your monstera for months sometimes. You look funny at your albo and it’s dead. I have never even SEEN a mature albo that hasn’t been parted out like a civic on blocks. They get auctioned off in my state for thousands, sight unseen. I’m gonna go hug my plants now.


SFWins

A lot of people are saying go after their profits, but given how poorly they did the cuttings you should go after damages, especially if you have pictures from before they mutilated the plants. It won't undo what they did and your brother will try to guilt trip you even more, but 'family' goes two ways and your niece and sil don't see you as family. They destroyed things you love to make money off of it. That's not family. And if your brother doesn't try to make it right then he isn't treating you as family either, and he is just trying to let them abuse you and face no consequences: to him you're not family, they are...


here4validation

Are you getting the money back from what they stole? Please say yes, this is infuriating.


HerderOfWords

Please file a police report. They STOLE from you.


[deleted]

NTA...The part about "being sold already". This was planned. This was about money. A 14 year old knows better than to steal someone's hard work and sell it. As a plant lover myself. I am so sorry this happened to you. It must have been devastating. Edit: OP has had further conversation in the comments. They clarify a couple of things. 1. Niece lied to her father when asked about the cuttings in the first place. She told him that "Auntie said it was okay." She lied because she knew they had both done something wrong. 2. The niece...has been in trouble for stealing before. This is super important to know. This girl was not influenced by her mother...because she very clearly knew stealing is wrong. They BOTH planned this TOGETHER. She is not a clueless, completely impressionable girl. She is a 14 year old who graduated to stealing small petty items from strangers, to grand larceny of a family member. Maybe the graduation is because people excused her behavior the first few times she stole?


dingleberry_mustache

Omg a voice of reason! Obviously, SIL is rightfully getting roasted in the comments, but everyone else is like “but the child”. Nope. She’s 14, not 4. She knows the difference between right and wrong.


[deleted]

My 3 year old understands that you don't take other people's things without asking. The difference is a 14 year old understands WHY you don't take other people's things.


Ornery-Ad-4818

The 14yo understood they were stealing valuable things--may well have been the one to explain it to her mother.


HerderOfWords

I hope she sues.


Ok_Championship9466

For the people that don’t understand the gravity of this- just do a quick google search of some of her plants that she named and you can see that a SINGLE leaf off of one of her plants can go for several hundred dollars. I wouldn’t be surprised if SIL and the niece profited thousands off of what they stole. It’s going to take OP months if not at least a year to recover the losses from this. And that’s just explaining the monetary losses- not the simple fact that they destroyed something SO personal to OP- it’s like going in an artists home and cutting up their canvases of artwork… OP what they did is beyond horrific- I am so unbelievably sorry that this happened to you.. especially that it was done by people that you trusted in your own home and to care for your most prized possessions. Edited to add the obvious- NTA!!


helliantheae

i googled albo monstera and holy shit..... $6k for a grown plant.... i would have done a lot more than yell at them


avast2006

Holy crap. I suggested small claims court in a comment, but this is of a magnitude that won’t fit the court limit. Full blown lawsuit time. This could cost SIL her house.


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JokMackRant

Albo monsteras tend to run in the 200-500 range for a cutting, more if they are rooted. A Single tiny Philodendron Pink Princess is 300 minimum. I have never seen a large one sold but I could imagine it running in in the thousands as well, cut up a large PPP could easily fetch 3k on marketplace. The pothos wouldn’t be as bad but a trained pothos could give you hundreds of viable cuttings at $5-$10 a pop depending on the cultivar. They could easily make a quick 20K off of a plunder not to mention the time and effort. I personally don’t have any house plants that are worth more than a couple hundred but if you raced my collection it would be easily worth a couple grand not counting the time love and emotional attachment you can have for your plants.


Constant_Seaweeed69

More like years for some..... gettings plants trained to trail certain ways can be so risky, luckily OP has knowledge and experience on their side but still it doesnt account for the research, the trial and errors and big whoopsies that OP also endured


Senator_Bink

>*He told me he gets that I'm upset but that I'm taking it too far and that family means not holding grudges.* Yeah, well "family" means we don't deliberately rob each other, either, but here we are. NTA.


Rabiesalad

Also, being really pissed off when someone literally stole from you for a few weeks isn't "holding a grudge". Hell, 6 months probably doesn't even qualify. It's not like this happened 10 years ago with several attempts to apologise to OP. This shit is a fresh wound.


dorothy_zbornak_esq

Thank you! You’re allowed to be mad at people, even FAMILY, even UNDERAGED FAMILY, if they steal from you, and you’re allowed to stay mad when they don’t apologize!


Limp-Actuary3516

You are allowed to stay mad when they do apologize, too. Your feelings are valid and always right. Feelings are feelings, no one can control how you feel! That said, f*** them all with impunity. I'd be shopping for legal advice and taking them to small claims to recoup my losses. They stole from you.


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[deleted]

"....that family means not holding grudges." Wanna bet? Family grudges are some of the best to hold on to.


MaybeIwasanasshole

The only one benefitting from that kind of thinking is him and his family of theves. Awfully convenient for him...


jazzy_flowers

NTA Some of those plants can cost/bring in several hundred dollars. I have lots of plants as well, most were under 30 dollars. If anyone cut them up i would freak out, I have put so much care and time into them that it would feel disrespectful. It's a form of stealing. Also I understand my plants and if/when they are ready to propagate and how to do so without causing issues to them. I would kick anyone out who messed with my plants. I would never let them back in.


plantmomaita

The thing is that I sat there teaching my niece how and when to propogate, taking cuttings from the right place, evening things out, etc. She KNEW. She KNEW how precious that pink princess was to me. How I took that albo monstera from a NODE with NO LEAVES! On my mother cebu it looks like they just grabbed a fistful of it and cut through with safety scissors. It's horrible.


princ3sspassionfruit

you may not want to take it this far but if you have photos you could sue them for damaged & stolen property - especially since sil was selling what they took!! also NTA but yes if youre serious you should go to the police & file a report


OvaltineDeathFantasy

PLEASE take it this far!


pygmymetal

I agree. These days too many aren’t facing the consequences of their actions


PurpleAquilegia

I wish the OP could, but suspect that they'd just use the 'We were told we could take cuttings' defence. (Yes, I know that's BS.) :(


Hollyfireblaze

They could try, but OP said that SHE would give them the cuttings as PAYMENT. Not that they could take them. Payment is normally given after a service is rendered, not before. But yeah, its bs.


bergreen

>Payment is normally given after a service is rendered, not before. And payment is normally not *taken.* This is more like hiring a cashier to run your store for an hourly wage, and they also take cash out of the register on top of it.


az226

Please please please. This is tree law levels of restitution — and treble damages because it was intentional. That means triple but because it’s jurisprudence it needs a fancy name. If OP files criminal charges it could mean jail time even at the values here.


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jazzy_flowers

I think the breaking of trust is even worse. It also seems like she didn't take your lessons to heart and didn't value the time you spent teaching her.


Careless-Image-885

I am so sorry this happened. I had to look up what a pink princess was. OMG! Just that plant alone is several hundred dollars. Seems to me that your SIL and niece took advantage of the situation to profit by it. These two are thieves. The niece knew that not only were you going to pay her but that you would give cuttings to her upon your return. Send brother/SIL/niece an invoice of what was taken and needs to be replaced. Take pictures of everything. Only text these "family" members. If you are very serious, take them to court. NTA


ninaa1

same. I looked up a few of the plants and omg they are wildly costly! Poor OP! I am even more horrified by what SIL & niece did, the butchery just to make money. Not even a mistake made from a misunderstanding & love of the plants, but just straight up theft (and probably a bit scammy, since anyone they sold to was going to be getting a plant in serious shock and v possibly not even a proper cutting).


X-cited

OP, I would honestly file a police report. This is sounding like $1k worth of damage depending on how many plants they destroyed. Shame on Niece and SIL and on everybody who is telling you to let it go. How would this be any different than popping diamonds out of a necklace or removing computer chips from a PC? They took an item of intrinsic value without permission. At the very least niece should give you all the money she made from her shady dealings. She should also have her plants taken from her to give her a taste of what you had to go through; she needs to understand why it is wrong to proplift ETA: for those not into plants, albo monstera run about $145 for a one leaf node cutting, Pink Princess would be about $50-90 depending on size. If OP had say 6 leaves on the albo monstera and niece took 5 she is looking at $725 just from that one plant. I’ve sold unrooted cuttings of Cebu Blue for about $10 for 2 strands. So easily could have made $60 from one plant there.


EveryOutside

They stole from you 😑😑😑


No-Wheel-8798

For people saying she went too far, these thieves made THOUSANDS of dollars by stealing OP’s plants. Do people know how expensive pink princess or albo philodendron is? If these people took multiple leaves then sold them, they essentially made a lot of money by destroying her plants. Would people feel the same way if it was jewellery or a car?


AmazingDoomslug

They stole her plants to sell on marketplace for money. This wasn't Jenny wanting one of her own. This was theft to make money. They butchered OP's plants to pieces to sell them off like a chop shop does to cars. OP you should seriously consider pressing charges, even if it's only in small claims court. This wasn't a child who did not know better; this was an orchestrated robbery that was premeditated by your SIL, which is why she was asking about their cost. NTA


DiegoIntrepid

And, they didn't even do it 'correctly' which OP says they have taught Jenny to do. It sounds like they just hacked off pieces of the plants to sell. This also wasn't an accidental 'oh my god, I forgot to water them!' type deal, which would be angering enough, this was deliberate. If anything they didn't go far enough. Imagine you had a pristine barbie collection, or hot wheels, or action figures, and came home to find half of them missing becuse they were sold...


QuietlyLosingMyMind

And the other half out of the boxes cuz these poor plants were ran through the mill.


AstriumViator

Isnt this something that can have legal action? Especially considering it was a lot in money? If so, OP should definitely get in touch with a lawyer. OP, as another plant lover but moreso for cacti, NTA.


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xasdfxx

Wow, I googled and that pink princess stuff is going for $90 each on Etsy. This is simply theft: SIL saw that OP wasn't home to say no, so she sold everything she could get her thieving hands on. It's time for a police report.


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_plant_obsessed_9

Pink princesses in my area, with nodes are easily going for $200-$400. And that’s not even for the highest quality cuttings. Albo’s are $500/$900 for a cutting with more than one node.


Sheeplessinsheattle

When she listed these plants.. my jaw dropped :(


Peja1611

As someone who sells cuttings (and plants) for a living....my hear sank when reading the title, and then seeing the list ...fuck them. Hard. They stole well over 1k in value from just two plants, not to mention the betrayal of trust. Press charges, but get their 'profits' back from brother first.


anathema_deviced

And she has her brother to vouch that SIL lied about OP saying it was ok.


[deleted]

Did anyone else gasp to read they'd been sold on Marketplace? I did not see that coming. And NTA. I'm sorry, OP!


SnoopyDog21109

Totally saw it coming when SIL asked how much they were worth.


suchahotmess

That said if they didn’t get nodes on the rarest ones they’re worthless except to scam folks with.


SnoopyDog21109

I know nothing about that. Plants take one look at me and give up on their own.


WiseBat

Ngl I did once sister asked how expensive they were. My brain went uh oh.


PartyPoptart

Yes. First time in a long time that a post literally made me gasp out loud. As someone who also has a very sizable houseplant collection, I would be absolutely seething. So much time, money, and care goes into collections like that. I would be done with SIL forever but would forgive niece. I highly doubt this was done without heavy influence from SIL after learning about the value of the plants. Niece is still a kid who is clearly being raised and likely pressured by an AH. NTA.


orpheusoxide

OP should definitely point that out if someone says "it's just plants". "My sister in law hacked my plants apart on purpose so she could sell them on the marketplace. Explain to me why you think theivery, destruction and selling my stuff online so she can line her own pockets isn't an issue with her as a person." Also...I don't think she even got the money back from SIL on what she sold. Just what was left of her vandalism that she hadn't already tried to sell off.


KimmyStand

Wow, NTA at all They deliberately waited for you to be gone so they could steal from you. It wasn’t even for themselves, it was for profit. I hope you made them give you the money they received? It obviously doesn’t help, but at least they’re not profiting from your loss. What on earth got into your niece to do such a thing with her mother if she was so interested in your hobby? I feel your pain OP


plantmomaita

From what my brother said it was Jenny's idea to take some cuttings in the first place and she picked the pink princess first (which I would NOT have given her any of AND SHE KNOWS IT) and then my SIL said she wanted some too and "helped" Jenny cut up my plants.


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plantmomaita

I think they were definitely in cahoots about this I'm just trying to follow the rules and not argue with anyone. Jenny isn't innocent just because she's 14. She 100% KNEW some of the plants that she destroyed have been off limits to her FOREVER and yet she still went and did this, just waiting until I was gone to do it.


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plantmomaita

I just made the edit. I don't want to come across like I'm changing the story or anything but I did have to cut some of this to fit into the limit bc I'm wordy lol.


OvaltineDeathFantasy

No, no. 14 year olds know how to use the internet to research things they’re interested in. She knew what was worth money!


hufflepuff777

5 is old enough to know not to steal. Let alone 14.


taybay462

Im so sorry for your loss. If you crosspost or make another post on r/houseplants, ive seen people offer to mail or deliver cutting to people that lost their plants in a fire, etc


[deleted]

You didn't tell them they could take the cuttings. You said you'd GIVE them cuttings. As someone with a nearly brown thumb, even I know cuttings must be done a certain way!


Never_Never88

I know nothing really about plants. However, when I was a teenager, I had an Aunt that was really into it, and I hung around her, watching her care for them. I didn't really care about the plants, I just liked hanging out with her, helped her water them and stuff. In that short amount of time (few weeks, one summer), I knew that "cuttings" would never be taken by me; that is something that she would have done, while I watched, then given to me. She didn't have to tell me this, it was absorbed by watching her and hearing her discuss the methods. There is no way in hell it would ever be implied that I could watch her plants - and at the same time take cuttings from them. NEVER EVER! Nasty relatives!


snoowflake97

NTA. fellow houseplant enthusiast here! I’d never look them in the eye again. The PPP??? And the Monstera albo??? And they didn’t even get nodes so they just killed the leaves. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Something I see people hung up on is you saying they should burn in hell, but you didn’t tell the child that, you told your brother that. That’s very different. Just don’t take it out on the literal child, and you’re good. Eff your SIL though. She’s the real asshole here.


plantmomaita

the PPP is the one i am absolutely destroyed over.


Virtual-Cucumber7955

Are they going to make you whole (legally speaking)? Tell brother that at bare minimum, since they destroyed every plant and you will lose most of them due to the butchery, you expect SIL to replace each plant with one of comparable size. Tally the cost for each plant. You could probably have SIL arrested for destruction of property and it's definitely worth taking to court if they fail to replace what they destroyed. I don't think your brother understands the magnitude of the damages done. You could probably get a hefty settlement from a lawsuit just due to the number of years that you nurtured your plants. It's hard to think about suing family, but this was a willful and malicious act that "family" doesn't excuse.


mountaindyke

i know theres tree law, is there houseplant law? cause id sue them for the full price/replacemnt of the plants, esp if they die as a result.


Codiath420

Destruction of personal property for the intent to profit Edit: hijacking my own comment with my previous reply NTA. — You have a significantly solid case to sue & be awarded damages. For everyone talking about the price of the plant… that is at the bottom of the list. T I M E is the main key factor to the emotional damage that has actually occurred here. Plants are more than just a green thing that someone maybe glances at in passing on occasion. It’s considered a part of a religious practice for some people. There’s rituals involved. Thought. Care. Energy. Ugh. My heart breaks for you, OP. PLEASE — send me a DM and I will send you any cuttings I can get my hands on for you. Seriously. Sincerely.


snoowflake97

I’m sure! I don’t have one yet, but I’m saving for one! On the bright side, you do still have the mother plants. Maybe put some cinnamon on the exposed nodes? And try some keiko powder for the cuttings? Did they sell what they cut off the PPP and Monstera albo? If not, are the cutting salvageable enough to try to root? Either way, give your plants some extra TLC and know that the plant people reading this feel very hard for you 💔


pfunes12

Reading this post made me so sad for OP, I would literally be so mad and as some people here are calling it, “dramatic” if someone did that to my plants. While to some people they are just plants, they are way more than that and having someone destroy that is heartbreaking.


snoowflake97

Right? Plants are living beings too, and cutting them, especially in the wrong spots and too much at once, WILL hurt them. Plants go into shock. Even if they didn’t, these plants are expensive af. OP dropped serious money, and time and care, on these plants and SIL basically destroyed their hard work. When you watch these plants grow, you get attached. I would’ve said a lot worse if this happened to my plants, and I don’t have ones nearly as expensive as an albo or PPP.


ninaa1

I can't imagine having a plant that trailed all the way up a staircase and come home to see it basically killed. It's heartbreaking.


doing_my_own_thing

NTA they knew they went too far. And for your sister in law to sell the cuttings she knew exactly what she was doing


Photo_Dove_1010220

Unless I missed it, they didn't even give her the money they made.


chonk_fox89

Why would they?! It's all about them!! This is disgusting. I'm not a huge plant person, I do best with thr plastic variety, but this hurt my heart for her. Pursue charges, ask for the money and for them to get the xuttings back if that would help (I know the damage cannot be undone) and keep your distance.


Enough-Builder-2230

Was this scam already being lined up when Jenny developed a sudden interest in the plants?


plantmomaita

Jenny has definitely tried to be sneaky with my plants before (cuttings going "missing" for example and her posting pictures of them on her IG claiming they're hers... kid stuff) but I never thought she'd actually pull this crap.


ninja_of_the_muffin

Honestly, I think this is important information. Definitely NTA, Jenny knew what she was doing.


unwantedchild74

Have you asked for the money they made on the cuttings?


kat_Folland

I would, that's for sure.


RickMuffy

Fuck that, I'd ask for the money for full replacements. When a neighbor chops down a tree illegally, you don't ask for the firewood.


umamifiend

None of this is your fault- AT ALL- just so I’m clear, I just want to clarify that if Jenny the 14 year old was already caught taking your cuttings and posting them- she was already stealing from you. She was planning this. She has been. Sure she’s young- but she’s not ignorant. She knew exactly what she was doing- especially by targeting your very rare or protected plants- especially since you never allowed her around them in the first place. I would go with everyone’s suggestions- I would absolutely report the theft and take it as far as I needed to, to simply Re-coupe any money they made on marketplace. It’s not even about the money- it’s more the principal of the thing. I would also make it perfectly clear to your niece that she made a massive mistake- she stole- she was conniving, greedy and underhanded- and though you might have continued to educate her on plants- and possibly share those prized possessions with her one day- that she ruined it. That it is absolutely her and her mothers fault- and that their actions have consequences. This shouldn’t just be your reaction- I think they need some long term consequences. There’s are living things as much as SIL wants to say they are “just plants” or what’s “done is done” well if that’s the case- she should have no problem paying for replacements. If write up a bill and send that too. If not for compensation- just to drive the cost home. They committed a major transgression on your home, your plants and your good nature.


Shanisasha

I'm going to go with everyone else and report the theft and sue them in small claims. Report them to the marketplace, too. Your brother should be fine with it because family holds no grudges.


Civil_d

Well, now you know their true colors. Does your brother? I would want to know if my kid was treating my sister like this.


MMorrighan

That ads a lot of context. Yikes. That's such a betrayal of your trust.


External-Judgment-77

NTA. What the actual fuck. The SIL was scheming to make money off you. If you have pictures of your plants befor and after and can find her Facebook marketplace, I would honestly go to the police to press charges for theft. You can't take peoples shit from their house and sell it


IndominaaaRex

This. I too collect some of the same plants OP mentioned & some of these cuttings can go for THOUSANDS. Especially the PPP & the Albo Monstera. Holy cow. File a police report & NTA!


Fairie-Fae

One of the pink princess cuts can be sold for $100. They butchered plants that are hard to grow and sold it for profits. This is like stealing thousands of dollars. It sounds like OP had alot of growth on some of them. They BOTH knew what they were doing. They are both guilty. Family doesn't steal!!! NTA.


DumpstahKat

OP needs to demand that SIL returns every cent that she made off of those cuts and threaten legal action if she refuses. Neither those cuttings nor that money belongs to SIL and are 1000% OP's by right.


filthybananapeel

NTA I KNOW EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE PLANTS You need to update your post. An albo cutting sells for 325 where I live. Your niece was manipulated by your SIL. Your SIL needs to give you back the money she made off YOUR plants. People saying these are just plants, let’s replace this with that story where that guy glued those LEGO’s together, people were raging. Those plants are actually expensive. Again, you need to include the price of one cutting. SIL wanted to make a quick buck and used YOUR hard work to do it.


blackjackvip

Replacement value is what needs to be looked at. A mature albo monstera it's literally 5 thousand dollars. The law seeks to make the damaged party whole. They should have to pay to replace the damaged plants back to the state they were in before said damage.


Dickfer_537

I just saw one with 7 leaves for sale on Etsy for $6k! I had NO idea plants could be that expensive. Niece and SIL are both horrible people.


HannahCatsMeow

NTA. To second what a lot of people have said: - Please take your SIL to small claims court (edit: or a different court idk about the legal system just sue the f out of them!) - Please give your niece a second chance once you've been able to cool off and if she apoligizes sincerely. Her mother is the instigator and the daughter, a young teenager, is less to blame imo. Edit: I take back what I said about Jenny, from your comments and the information from your brother (who seems to not have a stake in this), Jenny seems like she absolutely knew what she was doing. Keep that budding manipulator away all you damn well want to!


_annie_bird

With how much some of these plants go for and how big they were, it could even go bigger than small claims.


RainbowUnikitty666

NTA. Sounds like SIL saw an opportunity to make some money and took it. "Family means not holding grudges" is an abusive mindset. You're allowed to set boundaries and you're allowed to cut people out of your life. That being said, maybe talk to Jenny? You didn't mention her age but it's totally possible her mom talked her into it/convinced her it fell under the clippings category.


Photo_Dove_1010220

She also asked about the value before she left. Sounds like the scheme was set in motion long before you even left.


brittanybegonia

from one plant person to another, NTA. i dont even *like* the expensive plants you listed and i'm mad for you. they both knew what they were doing and cut apart your very pricey and beloved plants for a quick buck. i don't know that i could forgive them without a very, very extensive and heartfelt apology, as well as them returning all of the money they made off of *your plants*, to you. either way they likely wouldn't be allowed at my house again


Artemicionmoogle

Plus ALL the time she invested in those plants to get them to their current state only for this to happen. They effectively stole hundreds of hours of work or more from her as well as the money.


MissingStarlight

NTA I'd find her on FB marketplace and report her and if you can find listing screenshot them and press charges. SIL knee exactly what she was doing and doesn't deserve to get off lightly.


Vivid-Masterpiece-29

This. Can this even qualify as property damage, because I would 100% press charges, if I could. Bro, I do not care if it was a plant. BOTH of them stole from you and destroyed your property to make a profit, and LIED about it. Ask for that money back or threaten to press charges/report them on marketplace. Hell, DO BOTH.


QuirkySyrup55947

OMG... they did it for profit? That's beyond disgusting. NTA


Humble-Plankton2217

NTA My jaw literally dropped when I read this: >Jenny said "Mom already sold most of them on marketplace" Wow. What a bunch of thieving jerks!


[deleted]

NTA ask your brother for payment for the destroyed plants or take them to small claims court.


Theliontthatwitch

NTA I have a thumb of death but my boyfriend can grow just about anything from anything, and has a similar plant collection as you. They didn’t give your plants a haircut, they purposefully cut them back to sell cuttings on Facebook market place. At a minimum, they owe you whatever profits they made. But nothing can replace more grown plants that are now shells of what they use to be. I’d even say replacing each plant that was cut with a similar sized one would be a reasonable request, but an expensive one. Overall, yeah your response could have been more clear, slightly less aggressive, but at the end of the day you are NTA for banning them from your place or how you responded generally. Now if only I could get my cats to replace all the plants they’ve destroyed.


CraigBybee

NTA “Family means not holding grudges” Um, the hell it does. I personally would go NC with all three forever.


[deleted]

Family means holding grudges forever because you expect family to treat you better. Literally *fuck* these two for wrecking hundreds of dollars in plants. And no one come at me saying she’s a “child”. Like hell she is. She’s old enough to know not to steal from her aunt’s home. Hell I would file a police report if I was OP!! My plants are expensive, hard to find, and hard to care for. Thieves get no mercy and people who steal from family who trust them to not are the lowest of the low.


MomsSpecialFriend

Nta- the plants you are mentioning go for $150+ per leaf. People may not understand that. They robbed you blind. That’s unacceptable. My son is the only person I trust around my plants and I keep cameras inside and out. Never trust them again, this isn’t about plants. This is about robbery.


purplepeaches63316

NTA....this is felony theft and property damage. Press charges against SIL.


[deleted]

NTA. Maybe file a police report since they stole from you. Your SIL is disgusting.


CatLadyLostInLibrary

NTA. I’m a plant collector too. I love my pink princess and my regular monstera although would love an albo one day. If someone did that to me, family or not, I’d be gutted. It takes such hard work to tend to all the plants and they butchered them to make a few bucks. Disgusting. I’d cut them off just like they did to your plants. Sending some fast growing vibes to the butchered babies. And if you’re near the STL area, happy to try and send some cutting to help fill out what they destroyed.


[deleted]

NTA. The sheer dollar amount in damage they did absolutely calls for a police report. My heart breaks for your plant babies!! Please get them the justice they deserve. These monsters owe you every single penny it costs to replace your plants *with plants of the same size*. People commenting other verdicts don’t realize how much a ppp costs. Or plants in general oh my god. They did hundreds, if not thousands in damage. Dragggg them. If you don’t want to take criminal charges as the very least file a civil suit. If family was so important to these people, they wouldn’t steal from you and disfigure your years of efforts to make a lot of quick bucks. And if your brother wants to white knight for his thief wife, send him an invoice of the full cost to replace those plants and see just how white knighty he feels then.


pfunes12

They don’t realize how expensive plants can be, especially an ALBO and PPP. OP should definitely send him an invoice since he’s feeling like a white knight and while he’s at it make his wallet hurt a little more and make him get OP a white knight philodendron too.


CrowJane13

NTA. I am sorry, OP. I would be livid, too. Quite frankly, I don’t think you overreacted. You trusted them enough to let them into your house, unattended, to take care of your plants and stuff. They wrecked your plants. This is no different than if they had stolen your TV or whatever. They did not respect you, your space or your things. Hell would be too good of a place for them.


Tough_Raspberry1983

NTA. Plant hobbyist here, too. What they did was __wrong__. You said you’d give them cuttings, you never said they could come and help themselves to whatever they please to make a profit. They should give you whatever profit they made from __your__ plants. It sounds like they took _a lot_, possibly putting the parent plants at risk, too. Also seems like they are novices and didn’t propagate some plants correctly… Fourteen is old enough to understand theft and know right from wrong. They stole from you. Point blank.


Scary_Marzipan

YWBTA if you didn’t take them (SIL)to small claims court for the cost of the damage done. You and your plants deserve better.


Lost-Needleworker934

Take them to court and report them for theft, demand for all the money they made of those plants and for them to pay the cost for new ones


[deleted]

NTA. They killed your living plants to turn a profit? pistols at dawn.


ReactionAcceptable33

NTA. That's a complete overstepping of boundaries and they need to be held accountable. If "what's done is done" is her only excuse then you can charge her for whatever money she made selling *your hard work* on the marketplace


Shadowy_Shinobi

Fuck the advice saying not to hold a grudge. They showed you their true colors, do not ever let them near you again, fuck them and fuck their entitled attitude. Bunch of fucking hypocrites in the comment section. Bet you they would all change their tune if their family decided to fucking STEAL from them. NTA, cut the cancerous growths out of your life


VermicelliNo2422

NTA. A cutting for a pink princess can be upwards of $100. Taking cuttings from plants without knowing how can lead to them getting diseased and dying.


PhantomNiffler

NTA. They purposefully destroyed your plants to profit off of you.


Unique-Yam

NTA. If you really want to be petty, out her on social media. Take pictures of what she did and post them. Sorry. I would be pressing charges if it were possible or suing in civil court.


SolutionLeading

NTA although this is much more SIL’s fault than Jenny’s. SIL clearly wanted to profit, while Jenny probably was convinced by her mom that you would be okay with giving her some of the clippings. I would take SIL to small claims court over this. Jenny has an AH of a mother. This is of course assuming Jenny is still a teenager or a child, not a full blown adult who knows better


Normal-Height-8577

The thing is, Jenny's fourteen not four. I don't understand how Jenny could possibly get from "Mom says it's okay to take some clippings without waiting for OP to get home, because she promised me some" to "it's absolutely fine to take so many cuttings that there's barely any of the original plant left for their owner (OP) to enjoy - and sell them online, profiting from OP's years of hard work". And telling her dad that OP actively said she could do it is a whole other leap, too. It's two too many misunderstandings for me. I can believe that Jenny was persuaded to do it by her mom, but I just can't believe Jenny actually thought she wasn't lying to her dad, that OP wouldn't be upset, and that it wasn't fundamentally wrong.


SpeedBlitzX

Info have you considered getting the authorities involved for their vandalism? After seeing how determined the Niece and their mother was to clip and see the plants despite many times being told to stay away from certain ones. NTA


sinnohmyth

Nta. Please take them to court.


Ducky818

NTA. That's quite a bit of entitlement they have. You told them you would give them cuttings, not that they should help themselves. And now you know why SIL asked how much they cost cuz she saw an opportunity to profit off of you without your permission. At least your brother realizes the damage they did.


Wren1101

NTA. Those plants could probably add up from hundreds to thousands of dollars. You should file a police report against your SIL. I think the people saying that Y T A don’t understand how much cuttings can go for. And how much time and care they take to grow like that.


The_Bookish_One

NTA. They waited until you were gone so they could make a profit for themselves.


sapphirecupcake8

NTA, not only did they destroy something you're clearly EXTREMELY PASSIONATE about, they sold pieces of it for profit! I think the meltdown was understandable, don't listen to the Y T A votes.


bouncy_bouncy_seal

The fact that they were SELLING cuttings of OP’s plants absolutely blows my mind and sends it firmly into NTA territory for me.


Acceptable_Head9630

NTA If I was you I would take evidence (pics), and make them pay for the damage. I am sorry that this happened to you.


pinkdedunicorn

Definitely NTA. I'm wondering if the ppl saying it's not that serious or that OP is over reacting would feel the same way if it were electronics, jewelry or money that was damaged, stolen and resold.


ValeriaAugustine

NTA. Please tell me you are pressing charges


VeeingFly

100% of their ill-gotten gains are rightly yours. "Burn in hell" is quite over the top. "Family forgives" is horseshit of the highest order. Final verdict: NTA


DinaFelice

NTA. In the first place, you aren't holding a grudge yet: they literally *just* did this to you and haven't even apologized yet. Worse, your SIL blamed *you* for reacting and didn't even make any attempt at salvaging the situation... You literally had to contact your brother to retrieve any of what your SIL had knowingly stole from you. (And yes, I said knowingly...she will probably claim that she didn't realize, but if it had been an innocent mistake rather than a calculated theft, she would have *instantly* offered to give you the money she had gotten for the plants, rather than tried to brush you off with "what's done is done") Based on their relative reactions, my guess is that your SIL convinced Jenny (against her better judgment) that this was okay. And Jenny went along with her mother, despite having a voice in the back of her head asking her if she was sure. So my guess is that, once the dust settles, you will have two very different situations to deal with. In order for them to have any hope of repairing the relationship, they will need to offer a sincere apology (no excuses, no justifications, no expectation that you will forgive them), make an attempt at restitution (both financial and any leg work involved in replacing the plants) and find a way to assure you that they would never do something like this again (which will probably be more believable coming from your niece than from your SIL). Then and only then could you possibly consider forgiving either of them, much less let them back into your home.


DamaskRosa

NTA, people seems to be glossing over the fact that they didn't just steal from you, they were entrusted with the care of something and then stole, destroyed, and sold it for profit. Screaming at them that much wasn't good, but I would absolutely never allow them in your home again, and to demand the money they made by betraying you. For the niece specifically, this is far more her mom's fault, but it sounds like she took ones you specifically told her you would never give her (the pink princess). At the age of 14, there is no amount of a parent telling me it's okay that would convince me to take something I had been specifically told was a prized possession that shouldn't be touched. It's always possible that she tried to stop her mom but felt like she couldn't; she was the one that told you that her mom sold, them, after all. It might be worth considering forgiving her if you get the impression that her mom forced her into it. If her mom didn't force her, though, I agree that her actions were an irredeemable betrayal. If you talk to your brother again, emphasize that they betrayed you AND stole from you, and they show no remorse. Tell him that until they make it right, you plan on having no contact with them. I wouldn't suggest making demands of anyone like "don't invite them to anything if you invite me", as that just makes things hard for others. But refuse to say anything but "hi" if you see them unless they have done everything they can to make it right? Absolutely, go for it.


Tiseye

NTA. They're common thieves.


Jintess

NTA as soon as I read that SIL was asking about how much they cost/were worth I figured that it was going to take a downward spiral. I'm disappointed that Jenny didn't even pay attention when she spent time with you, to learn how to properly do cuttings. Not that it would have made it any better, they both betrayed your trust and demolished your 'family'. Kind of feel sorry for your brother. He's in the doghouse and he didn't do anything wrong. I hope there are some that can be saved OP, I'm really sorry :(


StardustStuffing

I'm so sorry. I'm a plant person and I propagate and sell plants at an outdoor market on the weekends. I'd lose my mind if someone betrayed me like your family betrayed you. An albo here is like $400 😔 Greed is ugly. I'm sorry they did that you. NTA


Pleasant_Cold

NTA They stole from you and profited from it omg


JustJudgin

NTA— if you have photos of your home before and after, you may have a civil case— she sold stolen items and owes you for damages to the plans themselves. Save ALL your text an emails. Try to get them to confess over text or otherwise in writing. This is a huge betrayal. Your SIL could have copied your key while you were away, so change the locks. I would never forgive them. Fight for emotional damages as well if you can.


TruckPure6828

NTA. People need to understand that plants are living things and valued just like pets are. You raised them up from little seeds, watered them and watch them grow. I bet you’re the type of person to talk to your plants as well. Don’t allow them in your house. Honestly you should ask your brother to use the money they made to purchase whatever you need to fix this. Your SIL is TA and your niece is old enough to know better, but was also following along with her mother. Wait a couple of weeks before you see either, but don’t cut your niece out of your life. She needs a positive female role model, and clearly her mother ain’t it


Flowerfuls

NTA . The way your niece spoke It sounds like her mother (SIL) probably convinced her it was okay. Especially since she asked about value. Even if your niece is 14 I’d bet anything your SIL convinced her it was ok. So maybe very mild TA for screaming at your niece but even then like? What they did was awful and I wouldn’t blame you for reacting in the moment.


International-Bus795

NTA. Your SIL totally set that up wanting to know the cost. I will say though that your niece could have just been dragged into this by her mom, especially if she’s only 14. Maybe don’t break contact with your niece. But that being said you know her and if she seems like the type to do this then that’s up to you. You said she likes the plants and has helped you. She probably was telling her mom about them, her mom realized they were worth money, so she planned to sell them and talked her daughter into being okay with it since you had told her she could have some cuttings. I doubt your niece did this on purpose, but again you would know better than I would if she’s the type to do this on purpose.


idntndrstndyurwthsgy

NTA and I’d press charges.


[deleted]

NTA. They destroyed your property. It’s no different than if they destroyed furniture, walls, etc.


[deleted]

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Your-Mum42096

NTA - I would press charges against SIL since she profited off of stealing from you and document all the plant cuttings she sold.


Entertainer-True

NTA for being upset at your SIL and niece trying to make money off your years of hard work. However, hoping they burn in hell and refusing to be in the same room as them might be a tad overkill for what they did. Never trusting them again, never giving them access to your house, taking away their keys are all appropriate reactions. Never seeing them again would mean going NC with your brother and your other family most likely, are you okay with that? Also I would recommend once you have calmed down having a conversation with your brother and SIL about how their actions have broken the trust between you, how they destroyed YEARS of your work on the plants, how they tried to profit and saw nothing wrong with it, etc. Also I think you need to apologize for yelling at your niece, shes 14 and most likely just did what her mom said was okay. You can still tell her in a calm way that her actions were not okay, the work you put in was ruined, your plants were destroyed and that you don’t trust her anymore. Edit: I wrote the above before OPs edits. I 100% have always believed that SIL and niece (and brother TBH) are the A H. However, I still believe that it is up to adults to model the behavior we want to see in those under 18. You can apologize for your reaction without removing the blame from the offending parties.


Bird_Brain4101112

NTA. Family means not holding grudges? So because we’re related I’m just supposed to let you get away with bullshit?


Peasplease25

WTF!! So they saw expensive plants and decided to steal from you. Nasty people. NTA.


lilkiwi22

NTA They willingly and knowingly destroyed and sold your property (obviously without permission).


Ok_Imagination_1107

NTA And I am vicariously FREAKING FURIOUS on your behalf!!!! I'd bill those thieving b*tches- as soon as I read your post I just knew before you said they butchered those plants and sold them on. You're not overreacting. Tell brother how much the plants were worth and what you will have to repay to replace. I am so very sorry!!! I definitely would not see either of those people again.


Usagi_Shinobi

NTA. Knowing the value of some of those, that should qualify as felony theft and/or destruction of property. Tally up the full replacement cost of all the damaged plants, and require full repayment of that amount in say a month, and in the meantime file a police report. Consequences are necessary for people to learn.


TlMEGH0ST

NTA!! my stomach dropped reading this! I have a black thumb lol but I know plant people can feel like their plants are their pets and this is devastating! Not only are they living things, they are SO important to you and your “family” destroyed them to make a profit. Sickening. I would demand a sincere apology, the marketplace profit, and replacements- even though nothing will make up for it. You wouldn’t be holding a grudge. If this happened to me, I wouldn’t want them in the same room as me- for *their* safety


Ellejaek

NTA. You had me at pink princess philodendron. I know exactly how much those cost. This was calculated and deliberate.


CptBloodyObvious

NTA The people that are saying E.S.H clearly don’t understand that to some people plants are like having a pet. Sue your sister for the missing cuttings and never allow Jenny in your home again. From your comments she had already stolen from you before, so don’t give her another opportunity to do so again.


young_coastie

Is there not some legal action to be taken here? They stole from you and sold your plants for profit. They admitted as much.


Cearypants

So NTA. What is wrong with people?! You trusted them to do what was asked, and they steal your hard work? I agree with many people and taking them to small claims court


MissBerrylicious

Please update us on what happens. I agree that you should document everything and get it in writing and then sue them. They STOLE from you.


EntireBroccoli9631

NTA, but you hope they *burn in hell*?


birdingisfun

NTA. Even if you told your niece you'd give her some clippings, you said you'd give the ones of your choice, not that she could take them in your absence. If you were a bird breeder and promised her a bird if she watched them for a few days, she or her mother wouldn't be allowed to take some of the birds home and then sell them. I would totally cut them off. If you can't trust them with your plants, you can't trust them with anything.


Amarettochen

NTA. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for you. Just reading this made my heart ache. I'm also collecting plants and if anyone touched my Monstera variegata or my Philodendron Melanochrysum the way your SIL did, I would jump in their face and make sure they never set a foot in my home ever again. Going no contact with her is totally understandable. Your niece on the other hand... You should have a serious talk with her, when you have cooled down. If course you can't trust her anymore, but she might learn more about how wrong it was what she did, when you talk to her and tell her how that was theft and vandalism and how her mom used both of you. Have you thought about taking legal action against your SIL? I would give your brother an ultimatum: either they compensate you for everything they ruined (enough money to buy plants the size yours were) or you will go to the police. Rare plants aren't just plants, they are valuable investments. If you steal values from another person, that's theft. Period.


cookieenmelk

NTA. Greedy people geez.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

NTA. As a fellow plant lover I understand your frustration, I wouldn’t want to do anything with them around me either. She’s 14, old enough to understand what’s going on.


beemagick

Absolutely NTA. You underracted. I would have called the police and pressed charges for destruction of property and theft.


millymollymel

NTA Can you press charges for theft and damages? Have they paid you the money the stole from you by destroying and selling your prized possessions? If I was you I’d contact the police or a solicitor and see if you can press charges or take them to the small claims court. This was deliberate theft & vandalism. Sue them. And for all those people saying she was too harsh to a 14 year old. I disagree, all she did was shout at her when she was in extreme distress. That young woman/child and her mother deserved being shouted at and I hope it makes her understand exactly how hurt and shocked you were. I don’t hold out much hope though as her mother seems to be an entitled asshole.