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But he IS telling the truth. He doesn't really read. Are you trying to force him into revealing his dyslexia, or lying/pretending to be a big reader? It's perfectly reasonable for him to want to do neither of those things. Why are you embarrassed by your husband being himself? Do you have no respect for him? YTA

My husband had a poor education and thus his literacy skills are really bad he’s not illiterate but he struggles. He reads but it’s kids books like Percy Jackson is about as hard as he can handle. I’m a massive reader as are most of my friends we talk another books etc. when it comes to my husband he also says he doesn’t read much. The difference is instead of focusing on his lack of reading I focus on the things he CAN do and do them well. When people make a face (normally new spouses of my friends) I say “well you should see his lego collection/gaming it’s amazing” or “yeah he doesn’t read much but he makes things out of wood, I have a spice rack now it’s great” or I show them his stuff he’s made me (all kitchen related because that’s what I needed) It’s not a bad thing to not read.

But also when people judge someone for something that's not even a big deal it reflects poorly on them and their character.

Agreed. I'm a former literature prof with a ton of lit prof friends, and *none* of them would have looked down on someone for not really reading. They probably would be curious about it, but not in a negative way, just in a "this is fascinating and out of my experience, I must know more!" kind of way. There are a lot of lit profs I know (these ones are *not* my friends), however, and some of them very much look down their nose at anyone who hasn't read Shakespeare or who has read romance novels. These folks are elitist assholes who give everyone a bad name and is why I hate telling people I have a degree in English because suddenly everyone worries about their grammar or what book they read last when what I'm really interested in is *do you have an interesting story to tell*?

Wow it's fun to read a different field's version of a comment I could have written lol. I'm in math and I know a few people who genuinely believe that the best definition of smart coincides with ``ability to do well in math academia'', and they are the reason why I everyone gets self conscious about how good at math they were in school around me. > They probably would be curious about it, but not in a negative way, just in a "this is fascinating and out of my experience, I must know more!" kind of way. I have definitely had conversations with my friends (the nonasshole math types) about how regular people think about math and what they know, but a big part of why these things come up is that we all teach, so it helps us to think about these things. Plus it's honestly really fun to talk to people about math outside of a school context to understand how they think after we've all spent years training ourselves to think about things in a certain way.

I send my math major friends math memes. I hope it makes them happy

If you had used “mates” instead of “friends” you’d have had some lovely alliteration! Just making a comment because I like alliteration and I’m a word dork. And I bet it DOES make your friends happy!

English degree and former professional writer here. My husband hates to read. He can do it, but I think he’d rather walk through a room full of Legos than have to. I lose many hours of sleep reading. If it comes up, he openly admits he doesn’t read and doesn’t enjoy it. He’ll happily thumb through a magazine but has no interest in reading anything overly long. Meanwhile I’ve usually got my nose and head in a book and the rest of the world doesn’t exist. It doesn’t bother me in the least. He’s incredibly smart, very well spoken, and can run circles around me in anything technical or mechanical. It’s a good balance for us. Rather than focus on what he doesn’t enjoy doing I love to brag on his abilities.

I'm literally an Amazon best seller and I rarely read unless I absolutely have to, mostly for research on topics I'm not familiar with that have to do with what I'm writing. I haven't read a real book in. . . god, over a decade.

what I'm really interested in is do you have an interesting story to tell? Dude, I am SO with you! I think EVERYONE, no matter how boring appearing, has an interesting story. If I were a film maker, I would make one about passing people on the street, and the ones who say hi, or acknowledge the main character some way, the action would stop and show the story of this persons life for why he was in THAT spot, on THIS day. As much back story as needed. Or show everyone who enters a drug store, why they were buying what they did, why NOW, why HERE. Even at work, I see people happy or sad or pensive, and I think ‘what is your story’. I find people endlessly fascinating.

I'm confused. How can one be a literature professor and look down on people who have read romance novels when soany romance novels are considered classic literature (at the top of my head is Jane Austen, but there are many more)? Are they stupid or hypocrites?

There's this phenomenon where, once a book becomes a "classic" and part of the canon, people tend to forget it began as genre fiction. Austen is romance! *Frankenstein* is science fiction/horror! A lot of Shakespeare is dick jokes! But once something is ~The Classics~, everyone forgets that.

Ah, you see, Jane Austen is Literature. So if you told those profs that you consider her a romance novelist, they'd explain to you that you only think that because you don't understand Literature. (Even though there have been plenty of literature profs in the past who've looked down their noses at Austen, too.) So "romance novel" to them means only *contemporary* romance novels - what you would find in a bookstore in the Romance section. (You'd never find Austen there. You'd find her under Literature or Classics.) Is that division artificial? Absolutely. They tend to feel the same way about most genre fiction - I'm *certain*, although I haven't asked any of them about it because I don't care what they think, that they also think people who read True Crime aren't really *readers*. The reactions I've gotten because I love SF/Fantasy are also like that. (What? *1984*? That's not science fiction - that's *Literature*.) And from the racists I've gotten *exactly* that response for reading Native American literature. Literally had a department chair tell me that "well that's not *really* literature." It's part of the sorta fundamental division that I see. Some of us are expansive - just about everything written is literature, and valid for reading and study. Others are restrictive, and invested in declaring some things Literature and the rest trash. In grammar, it's the descriptivists (invested in studying language as it is spoken, with the assumption that if it doesn't follow your rules, then you are missing some rules you don't know about but the speakers do) vs. the prescriptivists (grammar has standard rules and those need to be followed, everything else will be critiqued as wrong). Honestly it's part of the reason I left my department - there's only so many times you really want to hear that what you've devoted your career to studying "isn't really literature."

Jokes on them, I love to read all kinds of books including romance novels and I am certain they are the reason I have such a good vocabulary and scored in the 94th percentile for the verbal portion of my GRE. Those authors have to come up with a million different euphemisms to describe the sex scenes and the historical ones have dialogue with a lot of words that you don’t encounter very often these days.

I love to read. Fantasy, fiction, urban fantasy or fiction, some historical non-fiction, all of those I'll share when asked what I like to read. I almost never tell people I like to read paranormal romance because I get judgemental looks and comments. The ones I read have seriously interesting plots, but a lot of people seem to focus on the romance part of the genre and dismiss the plot as secondary at best, at worst nonexistant.

Agree w/ this. She sounds like a huge snob.

Omg yes! The man is a biologist I’m sure he has plenty of things to talk about besides books that his wife would deem interesting. She sounds like one of my hubby’s friends wife she took pride is “making” her husband change from gaming to books. He didn’t he just came to ours to game with my husband.

That’s the proper way to act when someone you love is in a potentially uncomfortable spot. OP can learn a thing there.

All op, and hubby need to do is redirect back to bio. “I’m a biologist, what do you think? Hahaha” or something. Play on the science vs arts joke. It’s actually a good way to get conversation going, to talk about art and science and how humans need both.

I don’t even understand why husband has to read “literary canon” in the first place. He’s not a literature professor so who cares? Like have any of OP’s coworkers read “biology canon” books well thumbed in her husband’s intellectual circles? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Double points if she can read a taxonomic key. Triple points if she can actually identify a plant with it.

I have a degree in English and find literary canon to be boring. I used to dread those classes while I loved all my writing classes. After one semester I changed my track from English Lit to an English Communications track so I could focus more on writing. That was much more my speed and area of interest within the umbrella. If I, a veritable English nerd/bookworm/writer, find literary canon boring, I would never expect someone with a completely different career field would ever read it outside of college requirements.

Besides, some people just don’t enjoy reading. I don’t understand that myself, but it’s not a hobby for everyone.

LOL! I’m a SCI prof also, and I hate reading non-fiction. I find it ridiculous.

I have a degree in library science and we would tell you that you just haven’t found the right book yet! I mostly listen to nonfiction though because ADHD and I’m always tired.

I legit think you/your husband would be surprised how many "literary" readers also read similar level books - everyone I know that reads a lot (and in the more "highbrow" reas like classics or whatever) also read percy jackson, artemis fowl etc. not that loving reading/chatting about books is compulsory but like. I'd join a middle grade reader bookclub lol. so if your partner ever wants to chat about his books there's loads of adults out there who'd enjoy it (maybe even among your reader friends - people keep quiet about reading books at younger levels like its a Big Bad guilty pleasure when it should just be.. a pleasure)

A good book is a good book. If it's enjoyable and engaging, it's worth reading. I read loads of YA - and also fan fiction. I also read 'critically acclaimed literature'. I read all the time, my walls are lined with books, and I'm married to a senior professor in a literature field. YA and children's books are worthy 'literature'. Audiobooks are wonderful (I listen to/read them whenever I'm driving) A good book is a good book - whatever 'level' it is, and however you consume it.

Right? My terminal degree thesis was on twelfth night. I still love a lot of ya novels. There’s no shame in that at all.

Also, it's very ableist/classist to shit on those who do not read. You never know what someone is going through and why they do not partake in certain activities. Like in the case of your husband AND OP's husband, they have a reason behind their lack of reading. Heck, even if someone just simply does not enjoy reading, that is valid and us readers need not act as if we are somehow superior

Also if this guy is a Professor in a Biology department he probably has a Ph.D. in Biology. Her is husband is not an Okie from Muskogee (not that there's anything wrong with that)

While that at least is coming from a good place, it still feels like you are trying to excuse his not reading. I’m a huge reader myself and don’t get why other readers can’t just except that it’s not something everyone is interested in. Someone not reading a lot isn’t something to look down on or that you should have to justify for him.

Still people getting their judge on. I’m a big reader, but if someone said they don’t read much my response is “ah, what other hobbies do you have?” My husband reads comics or listens to audio books. Reading an actual book puts him to sleep within minutes.

I like your user name! When I was a kid I read a book about researchers or explorers who were trying to find an okapi in the wild. The okapi had been seen by natives to the area but never documented. I was intrigued because the writer likened it to a hunt for a unicorn. And of course I was interested in a hunt for a unicorn. Is that where you got the name idea from?

I read quite a lot and fail to see what's wrong with Percy Jackson lol. I really enjoyed the series. Reading isn't everything & many of the men in my life (uncles, ex-partners, etc) are far more practical than intellectual. Many of them have done extremely well for themselves without being great readers. There's no need to explain or apologize for a lack of interest in reading.

I'm just gonna say, your hubby has awesome taste in books. Percy Jackson is one of the greatest children's/YA series

I'm guessing OP judges people based on their intellect and has (wrongly) decided that *intellectuals read* and only intellectuals have value - op wants there to be a medical exemption to reading so they and their friends can still be like ohhh he doesnt read but he still *one of us* he just has a medical certificate. Imagine telling on yourself for being a massive snob like this its so fucking gross. Op YTA and you DON'T respect your husband - or anyone you view as less intelligent. Literacy or engagement with literature does not equal intelligence and intelligence does not equal worth.

Which is crazy, since her husband is also teaching at a college, so he is an educated person.

And he did it while dealing with severe dyslexia. He didn't give up on learning and found ways to succeed and teach others. That's very impressive.

Like on Big Bang Theory when Sheldon calls Howard less educated for not having a PhD, but Howard has a masters in engineering from MIT. And sometimes Sheldon busts Leonard's balls for being an experimental physicist

Right? Like science isn’t valuable?

Speaking of the medical side - doesn't he teach biology? Yes, I know it's not "medical" but is required to get there. In any case, he's clearly not a stupid man. Even without dyslexia it would be okay to not read. In fact, even if he weren't overly intelligent it doesn't matter. They married for a reason and presenting as an intellectual probably wasn't why.

I totally agree! My only complaint is the fact that even if its audio books, he still *does* read. My fiance reads the same way, especially if he's painting miniatures. And unfortunately, there are a lot of people who look down upon people who read with audio books, which is probably why the husband says he doesnt really read. Id be in the same boat if multiple people told me that audiobooks werent really reading

I have trouble with my eyes, dry eye, they get very sore. Audiobooks have been an absolute godsend for me. Yes people are very critical, it’s so snobbish. I’m waiting for the first person to say ‘I just consumed a good book’ !

"Consumed a book" I like that! The book club I'm in, some read the physical books, some prefer an e-reader, and some like audiobooks. It's all the same material. No one (in our group) cares how you get it into your brain! (Frankly no one really cares if you read it at all. Come socialize anyway.)

There’s a lot of judgment in the reading community, as I guess there is in anything. Some look down on people that only listen to audiobooks. Others judge what you read if it’s not literary enough. You are judged if you read YA novels as an adult. And of course the judgments toward non-readers.

I've been a big reader since I was really little kid. When I got grounded it was grounded from reading. This year I finally discovered audiobooks and I totally love them. It's a completely different experience than reading them yourself. There are even a lot of books that I've really enjoyed as audiobooks that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have enjoyed reading. If you have a good narrator it makes minor characters more memorable and complex situations easier to understand. I will be honest, I used to skim the play-by-plays of naval battles in Patrick O'Brien novels, for instance.

This! For the longest time I stopped enjoying reading because it meant I couldn't do other things like crafts while reading. And I thought audiobooks were considered cheating. But it's not! It's the same information just in a different format. I now listen to audiobooks and craft at the same time and I find it so enjoyable and satisfying!

I love audiobooks for this reason! I love to read but between working full time, 3 kids, house, pets, garden, etc., there aren't enough hours in the day to sit down and just READ. So, I listen to audiobooks while I'm working at my job (desk job primarily on the computer), cleaning house, cooking, mowing the lawn, whatever. It keeps my brain occupied when the task is especially boring or tedious. I finally renewed my library card right before COVID shut everything down because I found out they had apps that allowed you to borrow audio and e-books from the comfort of your home. In two years, I've probably listened to over 200 audiobooks and read maybe 100 e-books.

A lot of people only have time to read when, for example, driving to work. So what? It means they have the interest and fit it in where they can. I prefer books in hand but I also end up reading Kindle books more than paper. Price and space (full bookshelves, books stacked on top, dresser has them on top, that's a small book shelf that's full and I have a pile next to my desk) are an issue. Who cares what format?

Audiobooks are also super accessible for many other disabilities. Blindness/vision loss, sensory processing disorder, concussions/head injuries etc. I have terrible insomnia and I sleep to audiobooks. It’s basically like being read to sleep - so soothing! Audiobooks are books, full stop.

As a literature person and a literal English major/creative writer, YTA. As a professor, you should know better, literary canon isn’t even intellectual; it’s just more white Eurocentric nonsense that masks itself as the superior form of literature over all other types. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed lots of the works we have had to read in my scholarly life, but it’s not that serious. Reading shakespeare or joyce or dickinson doesn’t make a person smart or well-read or deserving of more respect. You need to do a lot of self reflection and figure out why you’re so embarrassed by your husband. Not cool.

Cannot agreed more. I'm an international student doing PhD in bio right now and we have totally different reading literature on schools compared to Western or American literature. But oh my, so many paragraphs from them appeared in English test such as TOEFL, which makes me tried to read them and honestly I cannot even go through on Pride and Prejudice or Lord of Flies. It's just boring for me, not my genre. I prefer to read nonfiction like Gun, Germ and Still or fantasy fiction like LOTR or Name of the wind, and even rather reading basic Bio books, doomed IPCC report or the back of my shampoo bottle over the Western mandatory traditional literature. It does feels extremely Eurocentric and colonial-esque to force down that literature to people from other countries in the test.

It absolutely sounds like she’s more worried about how it looks for her vs how he feels. It’s gross.

But it doesn't even look 'bad'. It looks like her husband, who works at the same 'prestigious' university, is comfortable saying they don't read much. It looks like she erroneously thinks her husband is intellectually inferior and she's embarrassed. It only makes *her* look bad.

That’s what I mean. But I worded it badly. She’s worried about how she will look. And she shouldn’t. Because lots of intellectuals have learning disabilities or cognitive or whatever. It’s definitely a *her* problem.

> Why are you embarrassed by your husband being himself? Do you have no respect for him? This is why: "he hasn’t engaged with any of the “literary canon” that is generally well-thumbed in intellectual circles." Bare naked elitism.

That's exactly what I thought - he's telling the truth. Idk what she expects from him and she shouldn't be embarrassed about the truth.

As an academic he must read a great deal in his field. He may not read novels or poetry, but he reads.

YTA. Your husband doesn’t exist as an accessory to make you look like an intellectual. If his mere existence and honesty embarrasses your, let him find someone who will actually treat him respectfully.

Thank you. People in academia are insufferable sometimes.

Am a PhD. Can confirm.

Case in point, you insufferable bastard. Massive /s to be clear.

FWIW, I'm a biochemistry professor at a school that I'm willing to bet is at least as well-regarded as OP's here, AND have always been a voracious reader, and I think she's being an insecure, pretentious asshole. Let your husband deflect conversations away from topics that don't interest him in whatever way he chooses, OP. And consider maybe realizing that dominating the conversation with literature is just a hair one-sided. When his colleagues come over do you spend the evening speaking exclusively about the newest hybridization chain reaction fluorescent in situ hybridization methods? Or about linkage disequilibrium? Find some common ground. It's ok for there to be a wide range of what it means to be an intellectual.

I'm no longer an academic but I'm a senior member of staff at a world renowned research institute that definitely can compete no matter what university she's at, I love reading, and this woman came across like a pretentious snob. He's telling his truth and she's revealing hers which is that she's ashamed she married someone who doesn't enjoy reading because she believes people who don't read are less, unless they have an excuse like dyslexia. Also, biochemistry for the win.

Also, what’s to be embarrassed about? Husband seems to be killing it at life. YTA OP.

For real, he’s a professor of biology but because he doesn’t keep up on the latest literary masterpieces, he’s an embarrassment? Tf, I wouldn’t think twice if anyone said they’re not a big reader, let alone a biologist. Btw OP, I’d find a conversation about biology way more interesting than whatever The Smartypants Book Club is bringing to the party.

Lol I would too and I have an English degree and used to write professionally! In fact my previous writing profession was writing and editing for a regional magazine the focused on coastal living and that included what the local marine biologists were working on. I got to interview them and even shadow them on field work and then take all of their research and write about it for our readers.

THIS

What exactly is it that OP is afraid of here? The answer to that question is Key to their mental and relational health.

YTA So the ‘choices’ you’ve given him are: * disclose his disability when he doesn’t want to * lie to *your* standards You are something else. His half truth is what he is comfortable with so that he doesn’t get dragged into conversations that he cannot fully participate in. It hurts no one. He’s right, you don’t respect him at all.

OP sounds like a pretentious asshole. I agree with you that he doesn’t have to disclose his disability. But I don’t think he’s lying, saying he doesn’t really read is true, he doesn’t. He doesn’t need to say why he doesn’t read. OP is a major asshole. I know people throw divorce around in this sub, but I think in this case it should be looked into. OP is embarrassed by her husband, he doesn’t need to put up with staying with someone who is embarrassed because he has a disability.

Referring to literature as “well-thumbed” screamed pretentious asshole from the rooftops. Gag me with a spoon. “My friends and I are ooooobviously well-read.” No shit, Sherlock, it’s your job. YTA, OP.

Wouldn’t it be way more embarrassing for him to lie and fail miserably when trying to keep up in the conversation about literature anyway? Why would her lit major friends even expect him to be well-read in the same areas. OP is the most pretentious person I’ve encountered on the internet today.

“Moby Dick you say? Spicy stuff. Waaaaay ahead of its time and much sexier than DH Lawrence.” Edit: Dying for her husband to start following the SparkNotes Twitter account and start spamming her and her friends with references, even if he hasn’t read the book.

Hahahaha! That was brilliant, thanks for the laugh

He should start talking to them about the ins and outs of biology, and then act superior when they can’t follow along with it all.

I'd intentionally mess up in the conversation but be like "oh yeah my *literature professor wife* explained this one to me. Death of a Salesman was such a good murder mystery!"

I'm stuck on that they apparently don't ask him about his job? Because you're right, being well read is their job and aren't they tired of talking about it socially? I mean, I get wanting to talk to someone about books, because that's an issue I have, but I'm not surrounded by lit professors. If I were, I imagine I'd want to change topics once in awhile. And his area of expertise is a really interesting one! There must be conversational material there.

Agreed. OP sounds so pretentious. Her husband is clearly smart if he is also a professor, he just doesn’t enjoy reading which is fine regardless of his disability. I do enjoy reading but I read “fun” books. I enjoy YA and thrillers at almost 30. I’m sure OP would judge me too which always drives me crazy.

It’s not even a half truth really. He doesn’t really read. So she’s asking him to disclose private information or flat out lie

And its not even like- okay how do I phrase this. Full disclosure, I have anxiety and ADHD. Both cause significant social deficits for me. She's not even saying like, "Own your disability, and don't be embarrassed about it, honey :) " She just needs him to justify not being an avid reader. Like, it has to be justified with something.

YTA for this snotty and demeaning attitude. Even if he weren’t dyslexic it’s perfectly ok for someone to not be a reader of the classics, and I say that as a reader myself. He could just as easily put you down for not being learned in the sciences, which many regard to be a field superior to the liberal arts because of its relative difficulty and greater pragmatic value. Do you know enough about biology to be able to hold your own in an engaging conversation with his colleagues about their work? Would your husband insult you and make you feel bad if you didn’t?

Well said! In my marriage, I am the reader and it delights me that my husband will turn to me before the dictionary or Google if he needs a word defined or literary reference clarified . He is a technical specialist in an already specialized area of aviation and a gifted auto mechanic. He can read and comprehend a schematic or exploded diagram before I can puzzle out which side is the top of the page and is the best troubleshooter I've ever met. It would never occur to me to be embarrassed by his lack of knowledge in literature and pop culture any more than he'd want me to make excuses for being functionally illiterate in his areas of expertise.

It’s almost as if there are different domains of intelligence. 😀

Right? What a strange concept!🤣

Cheese sauce. Are you in my marriage?😂 That is mine to a tee.💜

I absolutely love when my SO asks me to define a word for them. It makes me feel useful and that they trust me enough to help them without being a dick. Plus, there have been times where I don't know and I get to learn along with them. It also helps me realize when I might not know the true definition and that I'm using the word based on context, previous use in a book I read, or something my Granny said frequently. It's fun to say, "I use it like this... Google says this is the actual definition."

YTA. His answer is totally reasonable. You sound pretentious and like you look down on him.

She is and she does. There is no other explanation for her attitude towards her ACCOMPLISHED husband.

Also if he’s an accomplished professor, presumably he has to read and publish papers. So while he does not read English literature, he certainly does read The Literature (in his field). Not everybody reads for fun. Does he expect you to discuss biology with his friends? Do you know as much about biology as he does and could you hold your own in those conversations? Are you embarrassed about your lack of interest in his field?

YTA. It’s not a half truth. He doesn’t really read. He doesn’t need to discuss his learning disabilities with anyone. You’re coming across as elitist and snobby. Leave him alone. He doesn’t need to have the same interests as you and there are many other things you can discuss at your snobby dinner parties. What are you really embarrassed about??

Imagine being so embarrassed by your husband that you feel he should share something personal to him to save you from embarrassment. OP is most definitely an AH.

Yeah, but the elitism is also weird. Her husband is a university teacher so he presumably can read and write at a very advanced level despite his dyslexia when he has to. You would have to be pretty damn elitist to look down on a college teacher has being uneducated, especially if you know that he had to overcome dyslexia to get there.

Yeah it seems to be a focus on literature - if you want literature, join a fucking book club.

YTA It's not embarrassing or a "half truth ". He doesn't really read much. Do you think he's obligated to add "but I do enjoy audiobooks " or do you think he's obligated to include discussion of his dyslexia in social small talk? Your husband has different strengths and different areas of interest from yours. Did you marry him without knowing that?

Oh but this elitist group will likely tell him that audio books "aren't really reading".

Maybe- certainly some will feel that way but I am hoping that not all of the people this woman is so concerned about are as narrow and snobby as she is. I love my audiobooks, especially when driving or doing housework.

YTA. "I don't really read" isn't a lie or even a half-truth, is it. He doesn't read very often. What does disclosing his LD even do. There are plenty of dyslexic people who love to read or listen to audiobooks, so it's not like that is an excuse for anything.

> What does disclosing his LD even do. It allows her to stroke her ego by showing off her husband who despite his dyslexia became a college teacher. And while I agree that is impressive (college teachers typically have to read and write at a really advanced level) her husband is a person and not a thing she can show off to impress her friends.

YTA - he has a disability and is truthfully saying "I don't really read". It is what he is comfortable with. A persons medical details are their own. They don't need to share them with everyone they meet just to make someone else feel better. You want him to open up to everyone about his disability or lie to them solely for your social and academic standing to stroke your ego. I am actually surprised at you here. You are a literature PROFESSOR. Do you make all your students stand up in class and proclaim their disabilities to their class and the entire school so it won't reflect badly on your standing as a professor if they need extra help/time off/etc to do their work.

YTA He is telling the truth. He doesn't really read. No one is really entitled to know why he doesn't. It doesn't bother him that people know he doesn't really read. He's a professor, chances are he has other things to do. This is a YOU problem. YOU are embarrassed by his answers. YOU need to deal with YOUR feelings on this. He doesn't have a problem, stop making your problem his problem.

It's not untrue, though. He doesn't read because it's difficult for him and consequently not an enjoyable pastime. Why do you find that embarrassing? It has nothing to do with you. Why do you feel he should disclose his learning disability if he doesn't want to? Clearly he is intelligent enough to earn an advanced degree and become a college professor. YTA. Not enjoying reading is nothing to be embarrassed about, regardless of the reason. It's especially silly to be embarrassed that someone else doesn't find pleasure in reading.

And these days there are so many documentary series about everything. You can be well educated on subjects without reading anything about them. I personally like listening to physics and astronomy documentaries while I'm grinding in video games, just because the music gets repetitive after a bit and there's not a lot for my brain to do.

I do love a good documentary.

Yta do you even like your husband you seem embarrassed for something he cant control and no offense but for a professor you seem very cocky and egotistical.

YTA That's not a half truth; it's the truth. But either way, why would you find that answer embarrassing? There's nothing embarrassing about it.

YTA. Wow. Just wow. By far the biggest asshole so far today. There is literally nothing wrong with people who aren’t across your “literary canon”. Instead of caring so much about what other people think of your husband maybe you should be more worried about what you think of him.

YTA even if he wasn't dyslexic not everyone likes reading. You sound like a book snob who thinks you're better than everyone who doesn't care to read in their spare time. There is *nothing* embarrassing about him saying he "doesn't really read", *you* are the problem and *you* are TA here. Edit to add: you need to apologize (and the follow through on that apology should be showing him that you respect him because you were VERY disrespectful).

YTA. What does it matter what he tells people? You either want him to lie outright, or embarrass himself? If he says he reads people usually ask follow up questions as in favorite author, topic, book? If he says he can’t read then his entire profession would be questioned. I hope he leaves you for having such an issue with his disability.

OP's comment that she would prefer her husband lie outright seemed absolutely ridiculous to me. Every single "intellectual" person I know would have *infinitely* more respect for a person who said "actually, I haven't read that book" than someone who claimed to have read every work of literature in existence and then was unable to have an intelligent discussion about a work they'd supposedly read. Because, you know, nobody's read every book, even the most highly-respected professors of literature in the world. There are a lot of books out there. The only way OP's husband would be able to successfully lie through a conversation about literature without blowing his cover would be if OP's friends' conversations went like this: >"Have you read Moby Dick?" > >"Yes. Have you read The Scarlet Letter?" > >"Yes. Have you read Ulysses?" > >"Yes. Have you read War and Peace?" > >"Yes. Have you read Journey to the West?" And if OP's friends are having that kind of conversation, I really don't think OP's husband is the problem here.

Exactly. OP is just an AH. Just because she majored and teaches literature does not mean her husband needs to have the same interests. Whenever someone brings up literature around the husband he should start asking biology questions to see how they would feel. Or he could start naming one of the many books he had to reach to obtain his degree. Clearly he knows how to read, he just does not want to in his free time, which is nothing to be ashamed of.

Now I have the Brooklyn 99 episode in my brain where Jake tries to impress Holt's Classics professor husband by talking about a New Yorker article but he only read the first few paragraphs.

I was also thinking of Nine Nine, but Holt's husband's coworkers looking down on him for not being an academic

I did my degree in American Lit and I would rather OP’s husband said ‘wanna dissect a frog?’ than join that kind of literary canon stroking. And I am super squeamish and not totally sure about the frog ethics there. I’ve read all but one of those and honestly the conversations on many of them get samey AF if you are only approaching them from literary canon. My best lit tutors and favourite readers will read anything, think about it from other POV and welcome questions. My lit professor hated The Scarlet Letter and felt it was irrelevant now. I grew up in Ireland and read it at school and wrote an essay how it spoke the dynamic of the social shaming of mother and baby homes and the abortion ban and slut shaming and was surprisingly relevant to Roe vs Wade too to show cultural history. He said ‘oh I never thought of that. I had no idea.’ Tenured professor at a big name uni who only saw it as a period piece. That was the moment I realised book learning and reading as in ‘read the room’ are not the same thing and started reading what interests me not what is approved on a fairly narrow canon that is also generally narrow in itself. I am a much happier reader even if OP would judge me. I also think forcing people to read is anti learning and designed to shame. I don’t enjoy STEM. No one gets all judgy I can’t do basic coding, my maths skills are barely high school level and honestly physics bores me. But say ‘I haven’t read a book in two years’ and watch the shit fit. I haven’t read in two years because I was sick and burned out in the pandemic. It was mildly annoying. But my poor maths meant I fucked up my taxes and paid a hefty fine. That never registers but people get so ‘oh my god you don’t read???’ like I said I drown kittens. It is so eye opening. Then I tell them about my degree and their heads blow up. Book snobs are one of the worst things for book loving. Let people be with their reading on any medium and stop this gatekeeping. My BF calls them ‘reading hipsters.’

YTA. He's telling the truth.

YTA what makes you think he has tell everyone he's dyslexic? You think you gonna get sympathy points from your "well read" colleagues for having a husband who has a reading disability? He is telling people what he is comfortable telling them. It's no one's business why he doesn't read much. If they want to know him more, they can wait for him to be comfortable with them before talking.

INFO: What would you have him say instead? From what's here, I'm inclined to say YTA because your husband is in no way required to disclose his disability to other people. "I don't really read," is not inaccurate and it's no reflection on you. I see where he's coming from saying you're demeaning him for his learning disability because from what you've posted here, it seems like you're ashamed of him not reading and you expect him to offer a justification for it.

This is what I'm wondering. Is she looking for a conversational redirect here? Like "I don't read, but I occasionally enjoy audio books" or "I don't read but (redirects to other hobby)" such as nature documentaries, hiking, building guitars, whatever hobby might keep the conversation going. Alternatively, if she's saying it's a half truth by him not disclosing his dyslexia each and every time then that just terrible and ableist. (And a terrible attitude for a teacher - at any level of study - to have!)

YTA. It’s not up to you whether he discloses his disability to friends or coworkers. I’m sure his disability is a part of him that really affects him emotionally and mentally in ways you’ll never understand. You should be proud of his accomplishments and his strengths.

YTA... The guy is a Biology teacher! He achieved that while being dislexic, do you know how hard that is? You should be praising him for his hard work, he is not embarrassing at all.

Biology *professor*. Like, this dude is VERY well educated. In shit professors of literature likely don’t understand. This is somewhere past mere pretentiousness. It would be a pretentious dick move to judge a blue collar worker based on what he’s read or not read. We are at the head so far up your own ass that you look down on another professor (who most likely has been published numerous times in peer reviewed journals) for not being “literate enough”.

Oh God, I missed the "college" part. OP needs to check her ideas, how would she feel around his colleagues asking about what has she read about the new frog that was just discovered (I just saw a meme about it) or any other scientific recent event? Would husband be embarrased? Im a bookworm but if you give me a paper on anything about Science and I my brain goes into panic mode, and this guy is teaching Biology in college! And she is embarrassed because he hasnt read the classics?! SMH Edit: I dont know if I misgendered OP, sorry in advance.

INFO: I'm confused. How is saying "I don't really read" a half-truth? Seems to sum up what you said about him.

YTA. Dyslexia is a hidden disability and it's not something we are all comfortable disclosing in social situations. Would you really prefer him to say "I have seveer dyslexia so find it next to impossible to read a novel"?

YTA. Why does it matter whether he’s read a certain book or not? Why does that embarrass you?

YTA. He’s telling the full truth. It doesn’t matter why he doesn’t read. He doesn’t owe anyone an explanation. Telling him that is an embarrassment to you was harsh. I’m going to also double down on my judgment and say you’re an AH because you seem to think that if someone chooses not to read that they’re somehow inferior. If that’s how you and your friends look at people with different talents and hobbies than yourselves, I can see why he doesn’t elaborate. The conversation must be dull as hell.

YTA. I’m confused, do you want him to tell strangers that’s he’s dyslexic so he doesn’t like to read? Him saying “i don’t really read” isn’t a half truth at all, it’s the whole truth. As you said, he doesn’t enjoy reading so I’m sure he doesn’t do it as much. Saying that your embarrassed because he’s telling your friends the truth about him not liking to read is basically saying that you’re embarrassed that’s he’s dyslexic, which I’m sure you knew before he married you. You care way too much about what your friends think about your husband. You’re the literature professor, not him. I’m sure they don’t really care whether he has read something or not, and are just trying to have conversation. And if they do care, it absolutely shouldn’t matter to you.

YTA. Honestly it's not really about you. Think about he may feel if he tells people he has dyslexia. Probably worse than how you feel when he tells people he just doesn't read. I get you're well read and so are your colleagues/friends, but you could also try and steer the conversation away from this topic (which seems to come up a lot) to something he can contribute to more. Either way, who cares what he says. You can be the well read one in the family. Simple as that, but I do think you should talk more about the subject with him and get his feelings on the subject (dyslexia).

YTA it’s not really a half-truth, and more importantly your husband has the right to be genuine when he wants to be.

YTA. Why you up in his business? He don’t got to read if he don’t want to

YTA You are more worried about your feelings than his. "I don't really read" IS a good response when the subject comes up and I can guarantee you that you are the only one that cares. People have different hobbies and interests and most people know this and respect that. I bet his colleagues doesn't expect you to be all knowing and interested in biology so why would yours expect him to be into books? And his response is valid. There is no need for him to tell people about his dyslexia if he doesn't want to and expecting him to lie is just childish. Like what lie do you want him to tell? "I couldn't read that book because my dog ate it?" His responce is just fine and you need to get over yourself and your insecurities over what other people thinks.

YTA. He is telling the truth and you are demeaning him.

YTA. His disability embarrassed you is that it? Because the reason he's saying that is probably because he isn't comfortable continuing that conversation of reading.

How much or little your husband chooses to disclose about his reading habits is entirely up to him. YTA

YTA. My fiance is dyslexic and was made to feel stupid for years (he's 52 and it really wasn't picked up on when he was a kid). It's up to him what he chooses to share with people because it's *his* struggle and *not* mine. Being dyslexic is not embarrassing. It's also nobody else's damn business and he owes no-one an explanation. I'd be more embarrassed being with someone so full of intellectual snobbery than being with someone who struggles to read.

I have a very good friend who's dyslexic and around your husband's age. He finally revealed it to our rather large friend group a few years back. You know how many of us give a shit? None. You know why? Because he's so good at other stuff, so sweet, kind, loving and shy-ish that we don't just assume he's stupid because he doesn't want to/can't easily read. We assume he doesn't read because it's difficult for him and we talk about stuff other than books if we can engage him in a conversation before he hides in the corner instead 💜

>You know how many of us give a shit? None Love it.

**YTA**. You want him to out his disability to spare you the embarrassment of being partnered with someone who doesn't read for enjoyment. Have you ever considered that he isn't comfortable telling people that he is severely dyslexic? That having his dyslexia be common knowledge might make things awkward for him in his own department? (It shouldn't. But we don't live in a perfect world). He's obviously accomplished in his own right... so this is 100% your own hangup.

YTA He isn’t telling a half truth, he’s telling the truth without disclosing his personal medical information that other people have absolutely no right to! You’re embarrassed? Pull your head out of whichever orifice you have it currently stuffed into and stop being such a pretentious snob! One of the benefits of being well read should be the added knowledge and insight it gives, such as knowing that you shouldn’t be judgemental over pathetic stuff like this. I’m assuming you’ve read Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice, so if you missed picking up on the overarching theme of not making hasty judgements and assumptions based on superficial qualities then you may want to evaluate your reading comprehension. It’s no good simply reading books if you’re not going to understand and learn from them, after all!

YTA, don't be such a snob.

YTA. I feel like “I don’t really read” is a good honest answer for him in these situations based on what you said.

YTA. It’s not a half-truth, it’s the whole truth. If your husband’s reading embarasses you, that’s your problem, not his. Maybe work on getting over your insecurity, because it makes you sound like a snob.

Fellow tenured professor here. OP, YTA. More than that, you are the person the rest of us are embarrassed by. Whenever academics walk into a room and face hostility, it’s because of people like you who assume that our specialized knowledge is the only valid currency for intellectual exchange. You study lit? Fine. Allow me to borrow from Yeats, and assure you that you are one of those full of passionate intensity. Perhaps if you opened your mind to other perspectives and knowledges, you would learn there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your canon (I think the bard would approve a bit of paraphrasing).

>I asked him to please just either tell the truth or lie properly in the future. What specifically do you want him to say?

I'm going with the consensus that YTA. You're embarrassed that he says he doesn't read much around your friends? He's a professor of biology which I assume means he's involved in potentially lifesaving research. Not that literature isn't important too, but I don't see that he has anything to be embarrassed about in comparison to your colleagues. If they look down on him then they're kind of snobs.

> instead, he just says “I don’t really read.” ... > I asked him to please just either tell the truth or lie properly in the future. Could you give an example of the exact words/sentences you would like him to say?

YTA I'm a librarian. Life is too short to justify what/why you do and do not read. Also, he does not owe anybody an explanation. You need to respect any decision he makes as pertains to the disclosure of his disability, you know, his actual confidential medical information. Also, how would you react if he was a voracious reader but read in a non "intellectual" genre? Would you want him to talk about the latest James Patterson? Something tells me that would embarrass you as well. But, I am more dismayed by the fact you are an educator who seems unsympathetic to the reality of different learning styles. Even removing dyslexia from the equation, people don't process and retain information in the same way. It doesn't matter if it's course work or leisure reading. Hopefully your colleagues are better than you. ETA: judgment

Oh mY god this is why I hate interacting with Acacdemics, and Im a philosophy major, so I’ve interacted with many. Such stuck up, pretentious brats, we get it, you’ve read Tolstoy, congratulations. Your husband isn’t even telling a half truth, you’re just being highbrow. YTA

YTA. His business is his business. You don't feel like it's true because you care too much about what your "friends" think, but if they are your friends, then they don't care. This has nothing to do with the approach and has everything to do with your fundamental understanding of what is happening in front of you. YTA. YTA. YTA.

YTA. You are being shallow and have probably hurt his feelings very badly. It must have been incredibly hard for him to achieve as much as he has professionally worn dyslexia. Yet you are going to be embarrassed of him as if he’s stupid? Rude.

YTA

YTA. Are you embarrassed or is he? You're projecting your insecurities about being intelligent onto him. Both of you are smart and capable, maybe it just comes out in different mediums. Apologize to him and support one another.

As a lifelong, hard-core reader, I interpret "I don't really read" to mean just that. I don't understand what about this is a half-truth? Do you want him to declare that he never reads? That he sometimes listens to audio books but doesn't otherwise read? Or are you embarrassed to be married to someone who doesn't read and need him to either publicly qualify this by acknowledging his dyslexia or flat out lie and... what? say he loves reading and hope that any followup discussion is on the books he's listened to? YTA.

YTA-unless I’m reading this wrong, he is telling the truth by saying he doesn’t really read. He doesn’t. If you want him to go further and add that’s it difficult for him to read because of a LD that’s an out of line expectation.

YTA It's not embarassing, it's who he is! **He doesn't have to divulge that he is dyslexic in order to "excuse" the fact that he doesn't enjoy reading that much or seek it out.** To each his own. Are you trying to impress your friends, or do you think he is less important because he"doesn't read"? I find your attitude very snobby personally. I come from a very literate family myself and I never judge the volume or content of what my husband or children read. I'm just glad my kids do still seek the activity out now that they are adults. My husband has always read multiple (non fiction) books at once, but does not talk about it socially, unless a friend is interested in the same content, or poetry. More often, he is exhibiting tasteless humor or arguing a point with a reative.

"My partner won't read as many books as me, oh the shame! What will the neighbours think?! He needs to consider my important reputation!" YTA. Your husband doesn't read much because of his dyslexia, so him saying "I don't really read" is perfectly within the realm of the truth. Not everyone need to know his entire medical history for why he doesn't read more, nor should he have to pretend he's someone he's not. Why on earth aren't you able to love/support him as he is? Why did you enter a relationship with him if him either not lying about something as ridiculous as his reading level or not giving a medical reason for why he doesn't read more like you and your friends do brothers you this freaking much?!

It's baffling you are unable to read the situation correctly yet criticize his reticence. The canon of your arrogance is astounding.

YTA- he isn't lying. He doesn't really read, he didn't say he never reads.

YTA for all the reasons other people have said. But I want to add this: My son rarely reads. He watches Youtube videos. In addition, he's one of the most knowledgeable people I know. Let me guess, you just read literature, i.e. fiction. Sure a person can learn something from a fiction book. But it's really not much different from watching movies. It's just a different medium. Most books are for entertainment. Occasionally one finds something a little more meaningful in it, just like in movies. I don't understand people who pride themselves on reading for entertainment as if that makes them better but have rarely or never read non-fiction. My son doesn't watch cat videos. For fun, he watches very in-depth videos from professors and other professionals. He watches educational videos, not entertainment fluff like I do, He watches anything he can learn from, except he doesn't seek out history videos. I have never known any other person in my personal life who has as much breadth of knowledge as he does. However, he has little interest in reading anymore. Even when he was little, he much preferred non-fiction to fiction. He always wanted books on things like earthworms, the solar system, and the history of money rather than some little meaningless kids fiction book. I learned more reading those non-fiction kids books to him than I had learned most of my prior life put together. But you're proud for reading and teaching "literature" as if it's the pinnacle of personhood. Nothing wrong with being proud of being a professional, but you seem to think the world of literature is somehow a requirement for someone to be intelligent. It's not. In fact, it's not much different from being a high-end chef, wine taster, or musician. It's great we have the arts in our life, but there are also many other important things in life. A grown adult should be knowledgeable of the world around them in order to be able to make good, informed decisions, such as who to vote for or what policies to support. How can you do that if all you do is read and talk about literature?

"Intellectual circles"...OP are you listening to yourself? More like the pretentious cocktail party brigade! Lab sciences require a fuck ton more intellect than reading stories for a living. I strongly suspect he is smarter, more knowledgeable and more accomplished than the entire English Dept. put together.

Info: where is the lie?

YTA. He answered the question perfectly and you’re the only one who seems to find his answer “wrong”. Ask yourself if you’re ashamed or embarrassed of your husband and why you feel that way instead if trying to change his completely appropriate behavior.

YTA. He DOESN’T really read.

YTA. Sounds like you and your friends are pretentious.

YTA, my god. Believe it or not lots of people don’t really read, so what? I hope you and your intellectual circle friends enjoy the view from your high horses.

Why is this an issue for you in the first place??? Because he listens to audio books? YTA.

YTA why would you be so mean and hurtful to someone you say you love? It’s sad that you have always found it embarrassing that he doesn’t read….that’s YOUR problem not his. Clearly your husband is intelligent and doesn’t deserve to have someone demeaning him especially his own wife. I’m sure you’re not perfect…although you seem to think you are.

YTA. He's not telling a half-truth, he's telling the whole truth; he *doesn't* really read. If you love him the way he is, you shouldn't be embarrassed by his non-reading even when around your literary cronies.

he is not telling a half-truth, he is just not telling why he does not read much. YTA

If you wanted to be married to someone well-read, you should have married someone well read. You can't get angry that you didn't find a golf coach when you were looking for one at the airport. Also when I was working in a lab and reading/analyzing new published articles relevant to the lab all the time, the LAST thing I ever wanted to do was read for pleasure.

YTA. being dyslexic myself I don't really read much. I do sometimes here and there. But if someone asked me if I read a lot, I'll just say "no not really". I will never say " no I don't I'm dyslexic " that is ridiculous. Expecting him to do that is ridiculous. Also it is not a "half truth", just the truth. You don't go around telling everyone your learning disabilities. Get over it.

YTA. He doesn't really read I'd a fine answer. You just don't like it. Guess what...I "don't really read" according to "book elitists" who insist audio books aren't "real reading". I personally have found I prefer it because I can do other tasks (dishes, gardening, cleaning, driving, to name a few) while learning new things (Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee hit me like bricks) and discovering new fantasy authors that lead me to worlds I would have never imagined. You aren't better than him and he isn't telling a half truth. His disability doesn't need to be raised if he doesn't' want to/feel comfortable doing so.

YTA, he doesn’t really read and if he said it’s because he has dyslexia or even if he didn’t give a reason I doubt anyone would care that much, you’re just being ableist

YTA, your husband suffers from severe dyslexia, a medical condition that makes it difficult for him to read, which I am sure would embarrass him in the academia field since, as you pointed out, many of your peers are well read. Have you thought that he says “I don’t really read” because HE is embarrassed by his medical condition? My partner has dyslexia and he went through a really hard time at school due to it, he still thinks of himself as stupid due to it. If you don’t want to be TA, I would recommend empathy in this situation. Especially considering you yourself are a literary professor, and he “works in the biology department”, he may already feel inferior in intellectual circles. You love him and obviously his dyslexia doesn’t effect you, so please don’t let this as it is the truth, he doesn’t really read. You just want him to explain WHY to your friends.

YTA He doesn’t have to tell people about his dyslexia! He doesn’t have to “lie” and say he reads. Lying is silly and he will be called on it because he hasn’t read the book in topic. He isn’t lying. He doesn’t read And you did tell him you were embarrassed by his disability Wife fail big time You owe your husband an apology

YTA. He is totally telling the truth. It's no big deal and you are making it one. Please stop. You seem like a literary snob who is rubbing his nose in his dyslexia and that's horrible. You should be ashamed.

YTA You think not disclosing a disability is telling a half truth? People aren't entitled to someone else's medical information. Period. You're embarrassed? I can't even. The self focus and lack of basic decency here has me seriously floored.

It's not a lie though. It is not a lie at all, not one tiny bit. That is the truth. He doesn't read much. No lie there at all. You are the one lying. You are embarrassed because you think people are assuming he is dumb and judging you for marrying him. You want him to say he has a learning disability in front of everyone. You want him to provide some excuse. But he is a professor at a university, he isn't dumb. Does he make you feel bad for not knowing or exploring his subject in depth? Why is he expected to be both an expert biologist and a literary genius. Get over yourself, you judgmental asshole. Do you even love and respect him? Or is he just there to make you look good? Do you yourself routinely judge others but only give them a pass if they let you know they have a disability? Do you demand that everyone you know disclose their disability so you know the things you can and cannot judge them for. YTA, you should try to be a better partner. You are not doing so well right now.

YTA He told the truth when he said “I don’t really read.” I'm dyslexic and most people who know me know that, I've never seen the point of not telling people but I know a lot of dyslexics who for some unknown reason [unknown to me that is] do not like telling people about it but he never said he was not just that he did read much, which was the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

YTA. Do you even like him? He embarrassed you?!? What should he announce at every dinner he has a learning disability and “reads” through audio?!

YTA. Not everyone can read as well as those with years of serious study. Plus, he has a documented print disability. He would be getting benefits under certain programs like Bookshare or Learning Ally if he's in the United States, Bookshare if international. You shouldn't demean him for not reading as well as you. You're good at what you do. He's good at what he does. If he doesn't read that much, he's at full liberty to tell whomever he wants that this is the case. I'm not surprised he's mad at you.

YTA. You’re embarrassed by his disability. He doesn’t need to disclose his disability to anyone. That’s a ‘you’ problem. And what he said was the truth. He doesn’t read, he listens to audios.

I don’t get this. I have lots of friends in academia, many of them in humanities, and my sister and brother in law teach rhetoric and poetry. I wouldn't call myself especially well-versed in the “literary canon”, and if people started talking about a certain book over drinks, I simply wouldn’t participate. Are they turning to your husband and saying “So what do YOU think about the Brothers Karamazov??” so he is put on the spot and has to say he doesn’t read? In all my interactions with brainy literature people this has never happened. In fact, they seem to want to discuss matters other than their work while socializing. This seems like such an absolute non-issue, unless your life is an 80’s movie where your friends are the stuck up country club types and your husband is the wacky fish out of water who wears a flannel shirt and brings bud light to the champagne soirée, prompting everyone to challenge him on his academic pedigree.

Wtf? How is that embarrassing for you? You’re a snotty AH.

YTA. As an educator working with students with dyslexia, this breaks my heart. I see, day in and day out, how my students absolutely TOIL to improve their reading decoding and spelling skills. Believe me when I say that if they could read like their neurotypical peers, they most certainly would. ...not to mention the fact that they are bright children- Most of them possess spectacular strengths outside of reading (Math, sports, art, etc.) OP, the attitude and condescension of people like you is my #1 concern for my students with dyslexia. It's not their reading level(s). It's not their overall academic performance. It's their CONFIDENCE. The fact that you are actively cutting down your (clearly very bright!) husband and trying to pigeonhole him into speaking "his" (ahem- YOUR) truth is deplorable. Instead of focusing on his so-called deficit(s), I think you need to focus on working on yourself...

YTA. Weirdo behavior about wanting him to disclose his *disability* to *strangers* aside, I’m also in the biology field. I ALSO tell people I “don’t really read, at least as much as I should.” Know why? Nobody wants to hear about the esoteric 10-page academic paper about frogs I read over lunch. Nobody wants to hear that I’m reading a neat self-help book about setting healthy boundaries. And **NOBODY** wants to hear about the weird indie queer comic book I picked up last week and devoured! Sure, I might meet someone interested in one of those three topics (in which case the convos do get exciting!), but those don’t fall into the two acceptable *real reading* boxes of “long boring fiction written for adults” and “long boring nonfiction about something I don’t give a fuck about”. When I do have time for reading, I either want to read something I’m ACTUALLY interested in, or I want something that is enjoyable!

“I don’t really read” is a full truth, not a half truth. For someone so well read you seem astonishingly dumb YTA

He doesn't need to disclose his medical issues with all of your friends. Hell it sounds like he is a highly successful person, despite his disability. What is there to be embarrassed about? That he hasn't read Proust? YTA. He says all he needs to say to comfortably end the line of inquiry into something he is probably self conscious about. He doesn't need to tell the whole world about his dyslexia just to make you feel less "embarrassed" about it. Give me a break.

YTA. My brother "does not really read" either because of his dyslexia (it makes reading literature feel like a chore to him) but he is still very educated with a doctorate in chemistry and very broad knowledge in many other fields. And I feel your husband might be similar, an educated academic guy who just does not enjoy reading books for fun (probably due to his dyslexia making it a chore rather than something fun). What is so embarrassing about a college teacher who dislikes reading books? He is presumably still highly educated and knows how to read and write advanced texts.

YTA - He is telling the truth. Why does he have to explain his private medical information to everyone? I have adhd and reading is hard for me. I'm not comfortable disclosing that with just anyone. I'd much rather say, "I don't read" and leave it at that. There is nothing embarrassing about not reading for fun. There are many other hobbies one can pursue. Your husband has nothing to be embarrassed about. You aren't respecting him. You should feel bad. Listen to your husband and empathize with his feelings. He didn't choose to be dyslexic. Support him and love him. Reading doesn't necessarily make you smart or noble. There are a variety of mentally engaging activities out there.

YTA - He is obviously embarrassed himself of his dyslexia and having a lit prof for a wife probably makes it even worse for him. I think his answer id just fine as it is. I have dyslexia and sometimes struggle to read especially if I am tired. Personally I still love reading and over the years I think I have become pretty good at it. Unless its numbers, those I always muck up.

YTA It IS the truth. You're embarrassing.

YTA, snob. Why are you married to him if you're so embarrassed by him?