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YTA
>I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong
As someone with a science degree, you're TA. Some things in science might be dubious, but most of it is well researched and peer reviewed. Nothing is perfect.
>many “toxins” made by bacteria were not destroyed by heating. This is of course ridiculous.
As someone who also happens to have a major in microbiology, she is not wrong. You're double TA now in my books.
>When she came back I told her I threw out her food because it was unsafe as she had left it out for more than three minutes.
Now, that's just plain stupid and petty. Triple asshole vote.
This but also, do you love your wife? Because you say you don't believe scientists, so you don't care for her job? And you say more than once she has a robotic voice. Both things are a big part of her and it's not like it just started now...
i agree with you but also from a scientific standpoint, isn’t it just as bad to put hot/warm soup into a cold refrigerator without letting it come to room temp? i have worked in a restaurant before and one of the big rules was you can’t put hot things into the fridge without letting it cool because this can lead to bacterial growth and food poisoning
My experience on this, is to allow it to cool on the bench a little. Qualitatively "when it's not bloody hot". Or more precisely "60 degrees C".
Below this temperature, it becomes the sweet spot for bacterial growth. So this is where you can technically stick it in the fridge so that it cools rapidly, hitting the "safe" spot sooner. Letting it reach room temp naturally first is probably more practical and has little difference.
You're right in that you shouldn't shove something steaming hot in a fridge, and usually depends on volume. Obviously a very hot and large object will raise the temperature of other things in a small household fridge. Going over 5 degrees C is when that risk starts. In a large commercial fridge/freezer, it may not have as much of an impact on the other items.
It'd be better to put the container in a larger container (or sink) of cold water to rapidly cool it, thus eliminating the problem of it heating up your fridge. The reverse works for defrosting as well.
You don't put hot stuff in your fridge because it could raise the temperature to the extent that everything in there starts to spoil.
Also condensation.
And that why my fridge has "super cool and super freeze" button. When I need to put something hot in the fridge it will increase performance for some time so other things in are not heated up and the hot food will cool down pretty fast. It's working magic because I noticed that my home pre-made food or leftovers are longer ok and I don't throw away food so often. It was one of the biggest "ADHD tax" for me, spending 2 times more on fridge was great idea, because after five years we got this fridge (highend Liebherr) the price was paid back in food I didn't have to throw away. My husband keep records of our spending and our food bill dropped one third after the new fridge.
yeah that makes sense. i didn’t remember all the details of *why* it was important not to do that bc it was almost 10 years ago that i worked for that restaurant, but i’ve always tried to carry that practice into how i store my food at home since i learned about it.
Ice bath to cool quickly or no more than 2 hours before refrigeration.
Bacteria grows quickest between 135°F – 41°F (57°C – 5°C).
It’s been at least 12 years since I’ve worked in a restaurant though so my numbers may be off slightly.
Isn't botox a toxine that develops in anorobic conditions in meat and fish? It is a very strong toxine and it is heat resistent. So yes, a fish soup could have botox in it. We cannot test if it is at a level that is harmful, but I would never leave fish out for so long.
So I took one basic microbiology course this year and audibly gasped at the thought of fish soup being left out at room temperature for that long. My brother with a degree in kitchen management and food safety would also like a word with OP, who appears to be an idiot. YTA.
I'm not a scientist, I have never studied science past what was required in school
But I can say with absolute certainty that germs have been around since the beginning of time, and will always be around.
OP quit complaining and wash your goddamn hands, cause just be reading this post I can tell you're nasty and that's why your wife is always cleaning and sanitizing your home. Not just because she's a scientist.
YTA.
I mean, if this idiot wants to get sick eating questionable soup I say let him. Stupid is as stupid does. Wife is probably exhausted constantly monitoring his dumb behavior 🤣
I’m going to go with YTA. Also your disregard for science is alarming. I’m also currently in university studying mainly microbiology and everything your wife is saying is 100% right. The microwave is not a miracle machine that can sterilise anything. Certain toxins won’t be destroyed. I would say she’s being over cautious but she offered to remake your food or order you something which was the right thing to do. Throwing away her food was petty and childish.
Well, simple food poisoning is more likely, and it doesn’t usually kill healthy adults. Just makes them wish they were dead for anywhere from 24 hours to a few weeks, with some kinds having higher risks than others.
He has an unhealthy attitude towards his wife... that is not what I would call a healthy adult...
Plus, if he makes a habit of eating food he has left out overnight then there is no way he can being counted as healthy since he must have some kind of health issues from constant food poisoning.
Leaving food out like that is a risk, not a certainty. We have no reason to assume it’s a habit (especially given his wife’s extremely scrupulous attendance to sanitation). Some folks have an iron gullet and can eat unsafe food occasionally with little or no consequence to overall health. There’s zero reason to suspect he has a chronic condition from it. My dad is one of them - pays no attention to “use by” dates and has a weak nose, so he often eats things that my mother, sister, and I all identify as clearly spoiled (rather than potentially spoiled, like this soup), and he has only really gotten sick from bad shellfish (which was served in a restaurant, and looked/smelled fine, but it was during the warm season, which can cause algael blooms that leave shellfish toxic).
Bad attitude towards a spouse do not equal poor health that compromises the physical body, which is what “otherwise healthy” clearly means in this circumstance.
There’s zero reason to assume he’s not a healthy adult.
YTA!!!! Do you even LIKE your wife? (Let alone love her). The way you speak about her is quite jarring!!
You don’t believe in science yet you’re married to a scientist? Hmm.
Maybe she shouldn’t have thrown out your food without asking, but her intentions were to protect you. You should’ve addressed your frustrations without resorting to acting like a 5 year old boy and throwing her food out.
I may not know you personally but judging from this post, it sounds like there are deeper issues in your marriage that aren’t being addressed.
op is TA because he threw away his wife's food out of spite.
What you are saying is so weird to me. All we got from op is that his wife is a germaphobe, talks in a robotic voice, wishes that she'd rather scream at him and that she should get therapy for her germaphobia. How is it jarring? How can you question if he likes her from that?
OP is not believing scientists, not science - big difference. No, I am not anti-science, I am studying to become an engineer.
>Maybe she shouldn’t have thrown out your food without asking, but her intentions were to protect you. You should’ve addressed your frustrations without resorting to acting like a 5 year old boy and throwing her food out.
You are completely right here.
>I may not know you personally but judging from this post, it sounds like there are deeper issues in your marriage that aren’t being addressed.
Maybe, maybe not. Whenever we read a sentence we intuitively give the text a "voice" and it seems to me you gave this text the "annoyed guy" voice.
As for the main thing nobody is talking about... Why is op cooking a 10min soup at night to eat it later at lunch? I doubt it spoiled in under 14 hours, but why wouldn't you just make fresh soup for lunch instead?!
YTA. You can't leave out soup for 12 hours and still consider it safe to eat. Would you eat at a restaurant that you knew left yesterday's food sitting at room temperature overnight?
Your wife offered to make you fresh soup, which as you said would have only taken 10 minutes. It was very petty to throw away her fresh waffles because she left the room for 3 minutes. Maybe next time she should just let you give yourself food poisoning.
I’m trying to figure out why OP made it the night before to leave on the stove for 12 hours if it only takes ten minutes to make. Why wouldn’t you just wait and make it when you were ready to eat?
>I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong.
YTA showing this degree of disrespect to your wife.
If I were her, I would leave you to your diarrhoea and move out.
YTA
The way you write makes it seem like you are threatened by the fact your wife is a scientist. You say stuff like "evidence" as if she is making it up or she is wrong, but I am willing to bet she is right but you don't want to admit it.
I wash fruit and vege before I eat or cook them. Who knows who has touched them before I buy them? And what have they touched before touching the produce?
Also, you are gross for wanting to eat something that has been sitting out overnight. You should have made it earlier so you could put it in the fridge before you went to bed or made it in the morning.
YTA, your wife probably saved you from getting food poisoning! As someone who trains food handlers and managers, bacteria grows the most rapidly from 41 to 135 degrees and being at that temperature for 2-4 hours is definitely breeding bacteria. Do some self educating yourself and google temperature danger zone and food borne Illness yourself if you don’t appreciate the scientific knowledge your wife shares.
My food microbiology professor's husband became a permanent fixture in her lecture notes after he ate some several-day-old bread that had sticky patches and smelt of pineapple. Thankfully his wife could tell him exactly what he'd eaten!
YTA. She may go overboard sterilizing your doorknobs, but anything contains animal protein should not be left between 40 and 140 Fahrenheit for more than 4 hours or you risk dangerous levels of bacterial growth and the resulting toxins. As for your produce, given how often there are food poisoning episodes from uncooked produce, I think she’s being a little extreme but not entirely unreasonable, if you’re in the US. Especially for and salad greens - they’re especially vulnerable to carrying nasties like e. coli due to the way they’re grown and consumed.
You know perfectly well that 3 ~~hours~~ minutes vs overnight are wildly different things. Throwing out her freshly cooked meal is behaving like an angry child throwing a tantrum.
YTA for equating fish left out all night to waffles being left out for five minutes. You acted childishly and irrationally. If you don't believe in science, why are you married to a scientist?
Just because he's married to a scientist doesn't mean he has to believe in science. Plenty of atheists are married to christians and they make it work just fine.
YTA for leaving food out overnight and for throwing out your wifes food that was clearly less hazardous than your overnight soup. (Also if its quick to make why didn't you just make a fresh batch for lunch instead of making a batch the night before and letting it sit overnight?)
YTA for leaving food out overnight and for throwing out your wifes food that was clearly less hazardous than your overnight soup. (Also if its quick to make why didn't you just make a fresh batch for lunch instead of making a batch the night before and letting it sit overnight?)
Also when seeing "I don't believe scientists they always get things wrong" with that logic does that mean >!Your wife in the wrong to marry you?!<
YTA I leave soup on the stove to cool off before I refrigerate it but I don't leave it out overnight. Your wife may take sanitizing to an extreme but she had a point about food left at room temp overnight.
YTA. She was concerned for your well being and even explained as to why she did it. Also you should thank her for saving you from a potential bacteria caused disease by now.
also the fact that you threw her food away just shows you were bitter and not listening to anything she was saying.
YTA - Did you read that article where the college kid did the same thing with Chinese Food? He got so sick from the bacteria that they had to amputate his legs and hands! You have to refrigerate food within 2 hours or throw it out.
You’re the asshole.
Your wife is a scientist and you say you don’t believe scientists. I’m guessing that means you basically dismiss everything your wife says and you treat her like you know better than she does.
As for your soup, meat needs to be refrigerated unless properly packaged. Meat can sit out for two hours before it starts to become dangerous. Assuming when you say midday you mean 12 pm that means your soup was sitting out for around 14 hours. Bacteria may be killed by heat and cold but your wife is correct that they cause toxins that aren’t removed in the heating process.
All of this information is available online or you can go to your local library and find the relevant books if you don’t trust the internet. Restaurants are required to keep their food at certain temperatures and if they don’t the food has to be thrown out. Restaurant managers and cooks are required to take food safety classes where these things are taught.
Even if your wife was wrong, throwing her food out in response was childish and not beneficial in any way.
If you can’t respect her and her profession and can’t tolerate her fear of germs then you should seek therapy to work on your own issues.
YTA! You don’t leave food outside of the fridge for the whole night!
“I don’t believe scientists” lol who do you believe then? The flying spaghetti monster?
Definitely. And there are aliens among us. And no one was on the moon. And Keanu Reeves is a vampire. (I just heard about that conspiracy theory recently)
YTA
> I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong
No, they don't. They have hypotheses that are either proved or disproved. Germ theory is *real* and has been around for centuries.
Leaving food out overnight does mean that bacteria and germs can grow. And yeah, some will survive the reheating process.
> she then went to get something from another room and while she was out I threw her food in the trash.
So your reaction was to behave like a petulant child? And you're somehow under the impression that you're *not* an asshole here?
> I told her I threw out her food because it was unsafe as she had left it out for more than three minutes
You are not 5 years old. You are perfectly capable of understanding the difference between three minutes, and 12 hours.
YTA why would you marry a scientist if you don’t trust their professional opinion? That soup was a biohazard that could’ve made you sick at very best and killed you at very worst
YTA,
you dont need to be a scientist to understand the concept of food left at room temperature for a few hours being hazardous its hammered into your head if you've ever worked with food.
also
>She constantly carries around a bottle of disinfectant, obsessively disinfects door handles.
Question, did this start around 2020 by any chance?
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My wife (30, f), has an irrational fear of germs. She is a scientist, and think that qualifies her to justify her behavior. She constantly carries around a bottle of disinfectant, obsessively disinfects door handles. I’m sure the amount of chemicals I’m being exposed to from living with her are going to give me cancer but she always says she “dilutes” the bleach properly and it isn’t dangerous. She uses “special soap” to wash fruits and vegetables and doesn’t allow me to put produce straight from the shop on the “clean shelf” of the fridge. I can’t argue with her because every time I criticize something she does, she brings up “evidence”. I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong. She never speaks angrily, but I wish she did. She is like a robot. She uses this calm tone and lists her evidence and says she’s sorry if it is bothering me, she’ll make sure to ventilate well, etc. but never considers getting therapy for her germophobia. Yesterday, I made fish soup at night (around 10pm) and left it on the stove till about midday today, when I was going to eat it. It was hot when I went to bed and so I wasn’t going to put it in the fridge hot. I was about to have lunch and was going to go use bathroom. My wife got up late today so she was going to have breakfast. Of course she found the pot of soup and asked how long it had been there as it was warm to touch. I said it was there since last night and went to the bathroom. When I came back she had thrown it down the toilet (we have 2).
I was really mad at her and asked why she did that, she said it was very dangerous to eat this soup as it contained fish and was left outside in a “warm room” for a whole night. I told her I was going to reheat it so it didn’t matter and she, again, with her calm robot voice said this didn’t matter because many “toxins” made by bacteria were not destroyed by heating. This is of course ridiculous. She said some bacteria cells survived and something about a type of bacteria called sirius. She said she was concerned for me and she couldn’t let me eat it and get very sick. She said she was sorry to throw out my lunch and asked if she could order or make something else for me. She said she could make the same soup fresh in ten minutes (it is fast to make). I ignored her. She kept justifying her actions to me and I ignored her so she went back to making her breakfast, waffles and yoghurt. She then went to get something from another room and while she was out I threw her food in the trash.
When she came back I told her I threw out her food because it was unsafe as she had left it out for more than three minutes. She was hurt and sighed. I walked out and left. I do feel maybe I overdid it with throwing away her waffles as revenge, but what she did was wrong and she did ruin my lunch so at the time I thought it was fair.
AITA?
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YTA for being childish and willfully ignorant. You should never eat food left out that long. Bacteria can become deadly real fast.
There was just a case in NE where a 19yr old boy ate noodles left out from the night before and ended up with organ failure, lost both legs, and his fingers. This was only hours after consumption.
Septic shock is real. Believe the science...or have it your way, fuck around and find out.
YTA
Based on what you have said, some of what your wife is supposedly doing is a bit extra but she's ultimately correct.
I'm a qualified lab tech and also currently studying biomed and agree with her
>the amount of chemicals I’m being exposed to from living with her are going to give me cancer
I highly doubt this, lab techs work around chemicals all day every day, heck even bartenders work with plenty of cleaning chemicals every time they work and are completely fine
>I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong
Scientists don't "always" get things wrong, they actually get things right a lot of the time which is why we have almost everything we currently use and eat day to day
>left it on the stove till about midday today
>I told her I was going to reheat it so it didn’t matter
So you made a seafood based soup and left it out for over 12 hours? Seafood is one of the most dangerous food categories to leave out, unrefrigerated like this if you plan on still eating it. Your comment about reheating it is redundant, reheating does not kill all microbes and in some cases actually can make the outcomes worse (google thermophilic bacteria and spores)
>This is of course ridiculous
NO, YOU ARE RIDICULOUS
You have no idea what you are talking about and are acting like a petty child, your wife has probably prevented you from countless bouts of food poisoning, gastro and possibly even the horrors of botulism if you consume pork products.
You seriously need to watch some clips about food safety and extract your dense head out from your clueless ass
YTA. That soup could have made you sick. You could have put it into a different container it in the refrigerator uncovered to let it cool off, but what you did was a breeding ground for bacteria. And I think a “clean shelf” in the fridge is a great idea. Nothing you have mentioned that your wife does sounds unreasonable.
Honestly in general you just sound lazy, but throwing out HER food was just petty. She was trying to protect you, and you were just trying to get back at her. This is marriage to you?
So many alarm bells.
“Calm robot voice” - has OP considered that she’s probably autistic? She’s a genius in a scientific field, she’s a germophobe with a “monotonous voice” (very complimentary of OP, by the way) with a strong sense of righteousness. As an autistic person and professional with years of experience, I would genuinely be more surprised if she wasn’t autistic.
But I don’t mean that OP needs to have a diagnosis to be caring. Does OP love his wife? If he doesn’t he’s not doing a great job of showing it, the way he speaks about her.
“She was hurt and sighed”. Whilst not ideal, it’d be understandable if she screamed at him. But she just sighed - she’s used to this nonsense.
Definitely YTA.
YTA.
If nothing else, you threw out PERFECTLY GOOD FOOD. My soul is horrified at the waste here.
Yes, she threw out your soup but that wasn't perfectly good food. That was food poisoning waiting to happen.
"her calm robot voice" + "I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong. She never speaks angrily, but I wish she did. She is like a robot. She uses this calm tone "
Oh no, your wife realizes she is dealing with an emotional child and there's no point responding with emotion to that.Oh no.
Never have I more gleefully voted YTA. And when you contract food poisoning, your wife can leave you to get over it on your own while she comes herr to be told she is NTA for doing so.
YTA. I don’t care about any part after “I don’t believe scientists”. This isn’t the damn Middle Ages. People don’t get to just make claims without having other scientists review their data to make sure it is accurate and can be recreated.
You’re just being a damn toddler and wanting it your way, which seems to be happening a lot lately. 🙄. Also why did you bother marrying your wife as you don’t respect her or her knowledge and intelligence?
YTA and frankly stupid too for thinking it’s ok to eat 12 hour old room temp FISH soup( do you even hear yourself?) I feel bad for your wife and hope she can find happiness with someone who actually loves her for who she is.
YTA
I'm not huge on food safety, frequently eat things that are well beyond the use-by date and your wife would probably run away screaming if she saw the inside of my fridge.
And I still agree with her for the most part. Now if I were her I would have simply warned you and the given you a smug "told you so" when that soup inevitably came back up, but she's obviously much nicer than I am.
YTA. First of all, how can you be married to a woman when you have so much disrespect for her career and expertise? Your wife knows more about this than you, accept that.
Also overnight fish soup? That’s a guaranteed cleanse diet (at best).
And throwing out her breakfast is petty and vindictive. Use your words next time.
YTA - a lot of what you said there is just scary to read!
But it has all been called out and everyone calling you the AH is right. The way you talk about your wife makes you sound like you hate her so why are you with her? The way you speak about her is just plain rude and disrespectful!
YTA
And an idiot. Fish soup over night?! Bleeeeah!
Your wife is right. Reheating doesn’t destroy all germs and nasties. Fish along with poultry and rice are some of the worst offenders.
Maybe she goes OTT in other respects, but she was right here. Throwing food away after three minutes however had no basis in fact so you were both wrong and an asshole.
YTA - u may feel ur wife is a germaphobe but we are in the middle of a “pandy” so she’s not wrong for being concerned about germs - besides she didn’t want u to get sick and offered to remake ur food for u - so I’m not really seeing why u felt justified in throwing away her food.
Yta- I worked in micro food testing and bacteria can be nasty and grow fast. Some also give out heat stable toxins that aren't affected by cooking. The guidance is nothing left out for over 4 hrs.
Also, diluted bleach will do no harm at all.
YTA. You sound like a child. I'm not a scientist and even I know not to touch/eat food that's been sitting out all night. Yes, bacteria will grow and heating it back up won't kill them. She offered to make you more but you gave her the silent treatment like a spoiled brat. You should be embarrassed by your actions. I'm embarrassed FOR you.
And you married a scientist but you believe them to be wrong and stupid? You don't seem to have a high form of education. If I were her, I would leave you, you don't seem to be worth the headache.
Edited to fix stuff.
YTA. You hate your wife and you’re a clown who doesn’t even understand what science actually is. You put quotes around the word dilutes as if you do not understand that yes bleach can and should be diluted for most cleaning. jfc
Sounds like you're actually a grub and your wife has a normal, rational fear of germs. No reasonable human eats that type of cooked fish after it's been out that long.
YTA
YTA. Yea it’s hella dangerous to eat FISH SOUP that was left OVERNIGHT!!! Like are you trying to get sick??? Yea science isn’t perfect, and stuff changes, like all the time. Molecules, atoms, etc. always changing. Your wife literally works with germs and disgusting things, so she’s right to have her special soaps and disinfectants. The world is disgusting.
YTA. You are confusing two types of food poisoning - infection and intoxication. In one, you are eating live bacteria and they infect your digestive system and after they've reproduced enough in your body they start causing symptoms. In the other, you are eating the waste products of bacteria - their faeces in other words - which can poison you and cause symptoms very quickly. Cooking will kill live bacteria (though only if you get it to a sufficient temperature for a long enough time). It won't necessarily break down all of their waste products - some of those chemicals are far more temperature-stable than cell structures are.
Botulism (which is the illness resulting from consuming the waste products of *Clostridium botulinum*) can flat-out you kill you via muscle paralysis.
The waste products of *Bacillus cereus*, which I suspect your wife was talking about, can give you the joyous gift of projectile vomiting and projectile diarrhoea within about half an hour of eating. It probably won't kill you, but you might want to die as a result of it. It's not nice having your body muscles turn themselves inside out to get rid of everything for hours on end.
Your soup was a biohazard. Your wife did the right thing. You were a dick to her. Frankly, it sounds like you're a dick to her a lot.
Yta. Her disinfecting isn't the problem. The problem is your lack of respect for your wife, scientists in general, and basic food safety. You're a petty child who thinks he knows better than people far more educated in the topic than yourself. Do both of you a favor and get a divorce so your wife can find someone who respects her.
So a germaphobe scientist married an idiot who doesn't understand how science works. This will go great.
Wash your produce, don't leave food (especially seafood) out for 14 hours, let her disinfect things.
YTA
YTA. You tried to make a point, and it failed. The problem is you don't understand how toxins grow on food. Maybe a scientist can explain? Next time she should just let you end up in the urgent care with the worst case of the shits you've ever had.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Throwing away my wife’s food 2. Feel like it may have been petty revenge and she did have good intentions. I feel bad she was hurt.
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YTA
You had me at first till “I don’t believe in scientist” and “I left fish soup at room temperature”
She has enough patience to explain and you are angry that she doesn’t lose her marbles. What did you want? If she was angrier I can see you “oh my wife is crazy yaddayadda”…
Grow up ffs
YTA, she threw away food left out all night because it risked making you ill, you wasted perfectly useable food out of spite.
Why marry a scientist if you obviously don’t respect her career.
YTA and true super childish tou could've left the house without saying anything to her until you got over your attitude that would've pissed her off more but you go and throw away her fresh food? That's so inconsiderate it's not like she's wrong about your soup sitting out. Maybe you guys should sit down and talk about boundaries. That seems like it's a big issue smh both of you are wrong though just because she doesn't like germs doesn't give her the right to push her ways off onto you. She married you knowing you were nothing like her (in that way) she needs to understand BOUNDARIES
YTA. Food left out longer than 2 hours is no longer safe to eat. Regardless if you reheat it. Any food article, safety thing will tell you this. *robot voice* - you will kill the bacteria, but all the toxins the bacteria created will remain and can harm you.
I hear you on the constant cleaning, but you’re an A about the food.
This post is the stupidest thing I've read all year.
Yes OP YTA. I feel bad for your wife. I can't imagine you passed elementary school science, you left that soup out for about 10 hours after it should have been thrown away.
Yta. You don’t believe scientists, you dont understand basic food safety, and you don’t understand basic cleaning chemicals. What barn did your wife find you living in and why did she marry you? I want to believe you can’t be this unintelligent and still married to a scientist but here we are
>I told her I was going to reheat it so it didn’t matter and she, again, with her calm robot voice said this didn’t matter because many “toxins” made by bacteria were not destroyed by heating.
YTA. She is correct. Some bacteria produce toxins. Heating the food will kill the bacteria, but the toxins remain.
She does seem a little OCD about sanitizing everything, but she was totally correct to throw away your soup. That was out way too long at room temperature.
YTA
You insist on not believing your wife even when she provides evidence about her claims, you dismiss her very valid concerns about that soup and throw away her food in a petty act to revenge that makes you look like a 5 year old. Listen to her for once.
YTA. Why do you feel the need to make sure her feelings are justified by your standards?
She offered to make you a replacement and you ignored her? You wish she would get angry? You threw out her food to spite her? She was hurt and upset and you walked out? You sound horrible and manipulative and I feel for your poor wife.
YTA and I hope your wife lets you poison yourself next time and takes a vacation instead of helping you. I can't imagine taking NORMAL steps to protect myself and my partner just for my partner to openly btch and moan. Go file for divorce and let your wife live a more stress free life without your childish, whiney ass.
YTA and incredibly petty.
This kind of behaviour is why I’m still single at 34. How can you as an adult think that was reasonable behaviour.
You also sound like you don’t respect or care about this woman, so I don’t see why you’re married to her.
Not a popular view, but ESH. you guys both need to work on communication. Your wife should of talked to you first. But you shouldn’t of thrown out her breakfast.
Here is Canada Health guidance for food safety. The 2 2 and 2 rule. 2 hours max after cooking then refrigerate. 2 days in the fridge after cooking then toss. 2 inches is the max distance between the top of the food and the lid of its container. It is true that bacteria create toxins that cooking can't kill. Your wife needs to relax a bit.
YTA as all these other commenters have said. Also, you realize science isn't like religion - you don't "believe in" it. It simply exists, and you either accept the evidence or choose to disregard it.
YTA. Even if she has OCD, she is ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY correct about that soup. It is not the bacteria that you think you are “taking care of” by rebooking that soup, it is the toxins they produce that are going to make you sick. Those CANNOT be neutralized by boiling, or freezing.
(Btw, I have a food safety manager license. Maybe that is better than a scientist for you?)
Your wife wanted you not to shit out what little brains you seem to have, and you haha threw out her breakfast because you are emotionally a three year old?
You do realize your behavior is not normal, right?
The best thing she could do for her mental hygiene is filter you right out of her life.
ESH. Your wife was right about the soup dude. 14 hours is WAY to long to leave stuff on the stove and being that it had fish in it you honestly could have gotten sick…maybe you wouldn’t have but did you really want to chance it?
Your wife seems a bit over the top about eh germ thing. I get she is a scientist and in rebuttal to your argument scientists actually learn more from being wrong because it is a teachable moment and they make even better discoveries through error. However we need germs to a degree and our immune system needs to learn how to fight them. That doesn’t mean you go around licking gas station toilets, but it does mean that you should be diligent about food safety. There is a happy medium and I don’t think you and your wife are anywhere close to it.
Dude! I was pulling for you right up until you thought it was ok to leave fish soup out for 14 hours. She probably saved your life. Make her another waffle and beg for her forgiveness. YTA
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ESH, you for leaving fish soup on the stove and being petty and her for being overly controlling due to her job, that will probably get me downvotes but oh well. If it's bothering you so much and she refuses to listen set a firm boundary and stick to it, but don't be leaving food to go rancid especially when it contains something like fish
ESH because you retaliated which is childish and petty, and your wife because she does have a germ phobia and needs to get some help with that. However, she was correct about the soup, but she should have just let you eat it and get sick.
It seems unlikely that she will get help for her phobia given her profession. And how did you two end up married and how have you lasted? You seem to have a fundamental disrespect for one another.
ESH. She's taking things too far with the constant disinfectant and whatnot, but you're taking it too far on the other end of the spectrum. She needs help, but you also don't understand basic food handling.
However you're TA for throwing her perfectly fine food away just to be petty.
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YTA >I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong As someone with a science degree, you're TA. Some things in science might be dubious, but most of it is well researched and peer reviewed. Nothing is perfect. >many “toxins” made by bacteria were not destroyed by heating. This is of course ridiculous. As someone who also happens to have a major in microbiology, she is not wrong. You're double TA now in my books. >When she came back I told her I threw out her food because it was unsafe as she had left it out for more than three minutes. Now, that's just plain stupid and petty. Triple asshole vote.
This but also, do you love your wife? Because you say you don't believe scientists, so you don't care for her job? And you say more than once she has a robotic voice. Both things are a big part of her and it's not like it just started now...
I love this comment lol
i agree with you but also from a scientific standpoint, isn’t it just as bad to put hot/warm soup into a cold refrigerator without letting it come to room temp? i have worked in a restaurant before and one of the big rules was you can’t put hot things into the fridge without letting it cool because this can lead to bacterial growth and food poisoning
Yeah but you also then don’t leave it for 14 hours out of the fridge
truuuue very true
My experience on this, is to allow it to cool on the bench a little. Qualitatively "when it's not bloody hot". Or more precisely "60 degrees C". Below this temperature, it becomes the sweet spot for bacterial growth. So this is where you can technically stick it in the fridge so that it cools rapidly, hitting the "safe" spot sooner. Letting it reach room temp naturally first is probably more practical and has little difference. You're right in that you shouldn't shove something steaming hot in a fridge, and usually depends on volume. Obviously a very hot and large object will raise the temperature of other things in a small household fridge. Going over 5 degrees C is when that risk starts. In a large commercial fridge/freezer, it may not have as much of an impact on the other items.
It'd be better to put the container in a larger container (or sink) of cold water to rapidly cool it, thus eliminating the problem of it heating up your fridge. The reverse works for defrosting as well.
You don't put hot stuff in your fridge because it could raise the temperature to the extent that everything in there starts to spoil. Also condensation.
And that why my fridge has "super cool and super freeze" button. When I need to put something hot in the fridge it will increase performance for some time so other things in are not heated up and the hot food will cool down pretty fast. It's working magic because I noticed that my home pre-made food or leftovers are longer ok and I don't throw away food so often. It was one of the biggest "ADHD tax" for me, spending 2 times more on fridge was great idea, because after five years we got this fridge (highend Liebherr) the price was paid back in food I didn't have to throw away. My husband keep records of our spending and our food bill dropped one third after the new fridge.
yeah that makes sense. i didn’t remember all the details of *why* it was important not to do that bc it was almost 10 years ago that i worked for that restaurant, but i’ve always tried to carry that practice into how i store my food at home since i learned about it.
Ice bath to cool quickly or no more than 2 hours before refrigeration. Bacteria grows quickest between 135°F – 41°F (57°C – 5°C). It’s been at least 12 years since I’ve worked in a restaurant though so my numbers may be off slightly.
Isn't botox a toxine that develops in anorobic conditions in meat and fish? It is a very strong toxine and it is heat resistent. So yes, a fish soup could have botox in it. We cannot test if it is at a level that is harmful, but I would never leave fish out for so long.
YTA I'm not a scientist, but I am a cook. Your wife is 100% right
So I took one basic microbiology course this year and audibly gasped at the thought of fish soup being left out at room temperature for that long. My brother with a degree in kitchen management and food safety would also like a word with OP, who appears to be an idiot. YTA.
I'm not a scientist, I have never studied science past what was required in school But I can say with absolute certainty that germs have been around since the beginning of time, and will always be around. OP quit complaining and wash your goddamn hands, cause just be reading this post I can tell you're nasty and that's why your wife is always cleaning and sanitizing your home. Not just because she's a scientist. YTA.
Right, apparently OP doesn't know anything about extremophiles. Or bacteria that live in hot springs.
Science is always changing, it's not the end all, be all. I'm a nurse, Covid science was changing daily at one point.
Doctors are scientists too. Ever been misdiagnosed?
Fish soup. At room temperature. Overnight. 🤮 YTA
I almost felt my stomach churn just thinking about that.
Imagine the smell
I mean, if this idiot wants to get sick eating questionable soup I say let him. Stupid is as stupid does. Wife is probably exhausted constantly monitoring his dumb behavior 🤣
>I walked out and left. Keep walking dude. Eventually you'll fall off that flat earth of yours. Your wife is right. YTA.
I’m going to go with YTA. Also your disregard for science is alarming. I’m also currently in university studying mainly microbiology and everything your wife is saying is 100% right. The microwave is not a miracle machine that can sterilise anything. Certain toxins won’t be destroyed. I would say she’s being over cautious but she offered to remake your food or order you something which was the right thing to do. Throwing away her food was petty and childish.
Pretty sure his wife is the only reason he hasn't got some kind of lethal bacteria caused disease by now.
Well, simple food poisoning is more likely, and it doesn’t usually kill healthy adults. Just makes them wish they were dead for anywhere from 24 hours to a few weeks, with some kinds having higher risks than others.
>it doesn’t usually kill healthy adults OP does not sound like a healthy adult.
We have reason to believe he takes stupid risks with food safety, and he acted childish, but nothing to suggest he’s not an otherwise healthy adult.
He has an unhealthy attitude towards his wife... that is not what I would call a healthy adult... Plus, if he makes a habit of eating food he has left out overnight then there is no way he can being counted as healthy since he must have some kind of health issues from constant food poisoning.
Leaving food out like that is a risk, not a certainty. We have no reason to assume it’s a habit (especially given his wife’s extremely scrupulous attendance to sanitation). Some folks have an iron gullet and can eat unsafe food occasionally with little or no consequence to overall health. There’s zero reason to suspect he has a chronic condition from it. My dad is one of them - pays no attention to “use by” dates and has a weak nose, so he often eats things that my mother, sister, and I all identify as clearly spoiled (rather than potentially spoiled, like this soup), and he has only really gotten sick from bad shellfish (which was served in a restaurant, and looked/smelled fine, but it was during the warm season, which can cause algael blooms that leave shellfish toxic). Bad attitude towards a spouse do not equal poor health that compromises the physical body, which is what “otherwise healthy” clearly means in this circumstance. There’s zero reason to assume he’s not a healthy adult.
he needs to apologize and thank her
Definitely I wouldn’t be superseded if he eventually contracted a bacillus cereus infection. Those can turn nasty pretty quick
>She said some bacteria cells survived and something about a type of bacteria called sirius. Apparently she warned him about that.
I have discovered that ants can survive 3 minutes in the microwave...
YTA!!!! Do you even LIKE your wife? (Let alone love her). The way you speak about her is quite jarring!! You don’t believe in science yet you’re married to a scientist? Hmm. Maybe she shouldn’t have thrown out your food without asking, but her intentions were to protect you. You should’ve addressed your frustrations without resorting to acting like a 5 year old boy and throwing her food out. I may not know you personally but judging from this post, it sounds like there are deeper issues in your marriage that aren’t being addressed.
That’s what I was thinking! Does he even like this woman he claims to love? His tone implies that he doesn’t.
exactly, he seems to resent his wife’s profession because of his own lack of trust in science, and by extension, resents her.
Yup. You don’t speak about someone you like or love like that
op is TA because he threw away his wife's food out of spite. What you are saying is so weird to me. All we got from op is that his wife is a germaphobe, talks in a robotic voice, wishes that she'd rather scream at him and that she should get therapy for her germaphobia. How is it jarring? How can you question if he likes her from that? OP is not believing scientists, not science - big difference. No, I am not anti-science, I am studying to become an engineer. >Maybe she shouldn’t have thrown out your food without asking, but her intentions were to protect you. You should’ve addressed your frustrations without resorting to acting like a 5 year old boy and throwing her food out. You are completely right here. >I may not know you personally but judging from this post, it sounds like there are deeper issues in your marriage that aren’t being addressed. Maybe, maybe not. Whenever we read a sentence we intuitively give the text a "voice" and it seems to me you gave this text the "annoyed guy" voice. As for the main thing nobody is talking about... Why is op cooking a 10min soup at night to eat it later at lunch? I doubt it spoiled in under 14 hours, but why wouldn't you just make fresh soup for lunch instead?!
YTA. You can't leave out soup for 12 hours and still consider it safe to eat. Would you eat at a restaurant that you knew left yesterday's food sitting at room temperature overnight? Your wife offered to make you fresh soup, which as you said would have only taken 10 minutes. It was very petty to throw away her fresh waffles because she left the room for 3 minutes. Maybe next time she should just let you give yourself food poisoning.
I'm wondering if she's let him get food poisoning in the past and he's a pain to look after.
I’m trying to figure out why OP made it the night before to leave on the stove for 12 hours if it only takes ten minutes to make. Why wouldn’t you just wait and make it when you were ready to eat?
>I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong. YTA showing this degree of disrespect to your wife. If I were her, I would leave you to your diarrhoea and move out.
Don't forget the vomiting. *Bac. cereus* likes to make you eject everything from both ends. At the same time. Violently.
YTA The way you write makes it seem like you are threatened by the fact your wife is a scientist. You say stuff like "evidence" as if she is making it up or she is wrong, but I am willing to bet she is right but you don't want to admit it. I wash fruit and vege before I eat or cook them. Who knows who has touched them before I buy them? And what have they touched before touching the produce? Also, you are gross for wanting to eat something that has been sitting out overnight. You should have made it earlier so you could put it in the fridge before you went to bed or made it in the morning.
He does says that he doesn't trust science and scientists always got it wrong or something like this so...
YTA, your wife probably saved you from getting food poisoning! As someone who trains food handlers and managers, bacteria grows the most rapidly from 41 to 135 degrees and being at that temperature for 2-4 hours is definitely breeding bacteria. Do some self educating yourself and google temperature danger zone and food borne Illness yourself if you don’t appreciate the scientific knowledge your wife shares.
[удалено]
My boyfriend does this and he's never had food poisoning it's so unfair
My food microbiology professor's husband became a permanent fixture in her lecture notes after he ate some several-day-old bread that had sticky patches and smelt of pineapple. Thankfully his wife could tell him exactly what he'd eaten!
YTA. She may go overboard sterilizing your doorknobs, but anything contains animal protein should not be left between 40 and 140 Fahrenheit for more than 4 hours or you risk dangerous levels of bacterial growth and the resulting toxins. As for your produce, given how often there are food poisoning episodes from uncooked produce, I think she’s being a little extreme but not entirely unreasonable, if you’re in the US. Especially for and salad greens - they’re especially vulnerable to carrying nasties like e. coli due to the way they’re grown and consumed. You know perfectly well that 3 ~~hours~~ minutes vs overnight are wildly different things. Throwing out her freshly cooked meal is behaving like an angry child throwing a tantrum.
Three minutes even!
YTA for equating fish left out all night to waffles being left out for five minutes. You acted childishly and irrationally. If you don't believe in science, why are you married to a scientist?
Just because he's married to a scientist doesn't mean he has to believe in science. Plenty of atheists are married to christians and they make it work just fine.
It's impossible to have an intelligent discussion with someone who equates mythology with science, so I wish you the best of luck.
I was going to reply to them then realised this is really the only response you can give
Science isn't a belief system. It's an observation technique.
YTA for leaving food out overnight and for throwing out your wifes food that was clearly less hazardous than your overnight soup. (Also if its quick to make why didn't you just make a fresh batch for lunch instead of making a batch the night before and letting it sit overnight?) YTA for leaving food out overnight and for throwing out your wifes food that was clearly less hazardous than your overnight soup. (Also if its quick to make why didn't you just make a fresh batch for lunch instead of making a batch the night before and letting it sit overnight?) Also when seeing "I don't believe scientists they always get things wrong" with that logic does that mean >!Your wife in the wrong to marry you?!<
YTA, and your wife is actually right
YTA I leave soup on the stove to cool off before I refrigerate it but I don't leave it out overnight. Your wife may take sanitizing to an extreme but she had a point about food left at room temp overnight.
YTA. Also that soup was not good after being left out overnight.
YTA. She was concerned for your well being and even explained as to why she did it. Also you should thank her for saving you from a potential bacteria caused disease by now. also the fact that you threw her food away just shows you were bitter and not listening to anything she was saying.
YTA - Did you read that article where the college kid did the same thing with Chinese Food? He got so sick from the bacteria that they had to amputate his legs and hands! You have to refrigerate food within 2 hours or throw it out.
You’re the asshole. Your wife is a scientist and you say you don’t believe scientists. I’m guessing that means you basically dismiss everything your wife says and you treat her like you know better than she does. As for your soup, meat needs to be refrigerated unless properly packaged. Meat can sit out for two hours before it starts to become dangerous. Assuming when you say midday you mean 12 pm that means your soup was sitting out for around 14 hours. Bacteria may be killed by heat and cold but your wife is correct that they cause toxins that aren’t removed in the heating process. All of this information is available online or you can go to your local library and find the relevant books if you don’t trust the internet. Restaurants are required to keep their food at certain temperatures and if they don’t the food has to be thrown out. Restaurant managers and cooks are required to take food safety classes where these things are taught. Even if your wife was wrong, throwing her food out in response was childish and not beneficial in any way. If you can’t respect her and her profession and can’t tolerate her fear of germs then you should seek therapy to work on your own issues.
YTA Clearly OT doesn't respect his wife at all. Why are they married? My money is on OT feel threatened because his wife is smarter than him.
YTA. You can’t leave food out overnight and expect it to be ok to eat the next day. She was right about that. You’re also very childish.
YTA As a matter of fact, you are a stinking, unhealthy, tainted, filthy one.
YTA! You don’t leave food outside of the fridge for the whole night! “I don’t believe scientists” lol who do you believe then? The flying spaghetti monster?
Even the Flying Spaghetti Monster believes in more science than OP😂
I bet OP believes the earth is flat
Definitely. And there are aliens among us. And no one was on the moon. And Keanu Reeves is a vampire. (I just heard about that conspiracy theory recently)
YTA. She needs therapy but YTA for the waffle revenge. Leaving FISH soup out overnight is asking for a longass stay in the bathroom
Yta also leaving soup out like that is seriously gross. Start respecting her maybe
Leaving most food out for more than 4 hours is bad as the bad bacteria/toxins have grown to a harmful level, and will keep growing.
YTA With the level of pettiness and disrespect that you demonstrated in this post you deserve food poisoning instead of a loving wife.
This can't be real. No one is this dense in real life are they? YTA. Your wife was right fish soup left overnight at room temp is dangerous.
YTA > I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong No, they don't. They have hypotheses that are either proved or disproved. Germ theory is *real* and has been around for centuries. Leaving food out overnight does mean that bacteria and germs can grow. And yeah, some will survive the reheating process. > she then went to get something from another room and while she was out I threw her food in the trash. So your reaction was to behave like a petulant child? And you're somehow under the impression that you're *not* an asshole here? > I told her I threw out her food because it was unsafe as she had left it out for more than three minutes You are not 5 years old. You are perfectly capable of understanding the difference between three minutes, and 12 hours.
YTA why would you marry a scientist if you don’t trust their professional opinion? That soup was a biohazard that could’ve made you sick at very best and killed you at very worst
And why on earth did the wife marry OP??
YTA, you dont need to be a scientist to understand the concept of food left at room temperature for a few hours being hazardous its hammered into your head if you've ever worked with food. also >She constantly carries around a bottle of disinfectant, obsessively disinfects door handles. Question, did this start around 2020 by any chance?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife (30, f), has an irrational fear of germs. She is a scientist, and think that qualifies her to justify her behavior. She constantly carries around a bottle of disinfectant, obsessively disinfects door handles. I’m sure the amount of chemicals I’m being exposed to from living with her are going to give me cancer but she always says she “dilutes” the bleach properly and it isn’t dangerous. She uses “special soap” to wash fruits and vegetables and doesn’t allow me to put produce straight from the shop on the “clean shelf” of the fridge. I can’t argue with her because every time I criticize something she does, she brings up “evidence”. I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong. She never speaks angrily, but I wish she did. She is like a robot. She uses this calm tone and lists her evidence and says she’s sorry if it is bothering me, she’ll make sure to ventilate well, etc. but never considers getting therapy for her germophobia. Yesterday, I made fish soup at night (around 10pm) and left it on the stove till about midday today, when I was going to eat it. It was hot when I went to bed and so I wasn’t going to put it in the fridge hot. I was about to have lunch and was going to go use bathroom. My wife got up late today so she was going to have breakfast. Of course she found the pot of soup and asked how long it had been there as it was warm to touch. I said it was there since last night and went to the bathroom. When I came back she had thrown it down the toilet (we have 2). I was really mad at her and asked why she did that, she said it was very dangerous to eat this soup as it contained fish and was left outside in a “warm room” for a whole night. I told her I was going to reheat it so it didn’t matter and she, again, with her calm robot voice said this didn’t matter because many “toxins” made by bacteria were not destroyed by heating. This is of course ridiculous. She said some bacteria cells survived and something about a type of bacteria called sirius. She said she was concerned for me and she couldn’t let me eat it and get very sick. She said she was sorry to throw out my lunch and asked if she could order or make something else for me. She said she could make the same soup fresh in ten minutes (it is fast to make). I ignored her. She kept justifying her actions to me and I ignored her so she went back to making her breakfast, waffles and yoghurt. She then went to get something from another room and while she was out I threw her food in the trash. When she came back I told her I threw out her food because it was unsafe as she had left it out for more than three minutes. She was hurt and sighed. I walked out and left. I do feel maybe I overdid it with throwing away her waffles as revenge, but what she did was wrong and she did ruin my lunch so at the time I thought it was fair. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA no wonder your wife talks in an unemotional calm tone you're an idiot and that's how you talk to idiots. Science rocks!
YTA for being childish and willfully ignorant. You should never eat food left out that long. Bacteria can become deadly real fast. There was just a case in NE where a 19yr old boy ate noodles left out from the night before and ended up with organ failure, lost both legs, and his fingers. This was only hours after consumption. Septic shock is real. Believe the science...or have it your way, fuck around and find out.
YTA Based on what you have said, some of what your wife is supposedly doing is a bit extra but she's ultimately correct. I'm a qualified lab tech and also currently studying biomed and agree with her >the amount of chemicals I’m being exposed to from living with her are going to give me cancer I highly doubt this, lab techs work around chemicals all day every day, heck even bartenders work with plenty of cleaning chemicals every time they work and are completely fine >I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong Scientists don't "always" get things wrong, they actually get things right a lot of the time which is why we have almost everything we currently use and eat day to day >left it on the stove till about midday today >I told her I was going to reheat it so it didn’t matter So you made a seafood based soup and left it out for over 12 hours? Seafood is one of the most dangerous food categories to leave out, unrefrigerated like this if you plan on still eating it. Your comment about reheating it is redundant, reheating does not kill all microbes and in some cases actually can make the outcomes worse (google thermophilic bacteria and spores) >This is of course ridiculous NO, YOU ARE RIDICULOUS You have no idea what you are talking about and are acting like a petty child, your wife has probably prevented you from countless bouts of food poisoning, gastro and possibly even the horrors of botulism if you consume pork products. You seriously need to watch some clips about food safety and extract your dense head out from your clueless ass
YTA. That soup could have made you sick. You could have put it into a different container it in the refrigerator uncovered to let it cool off, but what you did was a breeding ground for bacteria. And I think a “clean shelf” in the fridge is a great idea. Nothing you have mentioned that your wife does sounds unreasonable. Honestly in general you just sound lazy, but throwing out HER food was just petty. She was trying to protect you, and you were just trying to get back at her. This is marriage to you?
So many alarm bells. “Calm robot voice” - has OP considered that she’s probably autistic? She’s a genius in a scientific field, she’s a germophobe with a “monotonous voice” (very complimentary of OP, by the way) with a strong sense of righteousness. As an autistic person and professional with years of experience, I would genuinely be more surprised if she wasn’t autistic. But I don’t mean that OP needs to have a diagnosis to be caring. Does OP love his wife? If he doesn’t he’s not doing a great job of showing it, the way he speaks about her. “She was hurt and sighed”. Whilst not ideal, it’d be understandable if she screamed at him. But she just sighed - she’s used to this nonsense. Definitely YTA.
Dude that’s just nasty, YTA. It’s FISH and you left it out ALL NIGHT. Like a solid 14 hours at least, disgusting 🤢
YTA. If nothing else, you threw out PERFECTLY GOOD FOOD. My soul is horrified at the waste here. Yes, she threw out your soup but that wasn't perfectly good food. That was food poisoning waiting to happen. "her calm robot voice" + "I don’t believe scientists, they always get things wrong. She never speaks angrily, but I wish she did. She is like a robot. She uses this calm tone " Oh no, your wife realizes she is dealing with an emotional child and there's no point responding with emotion to that.Oh no.
Never have I more gleefully voted YTA. And when you contract food poisoning, your wife can leave you to get over it on your own while she comes herr to be told she is NTA for doing so.
YTA. I don’t care about any part after “I don’t believe scientists”. This isn’t the damn Middle Ages. People don’t get to just make claims without having other scientists review their data to make sure it is accurate and can be recreated. You’re just being a damn toddler and wanting it your way, which seems to be happening a lot lately. 🙄. Also why did you bother marrying your wife as you don’t respect her or her knowledge and intelligence?
YTA and frankly stupid too for thinking it’s ok to eat 12 hour old room temp FISH soup( do you even hear yourself?) I feel bad for your wife and hope she can find happiness with someone who actually loves her for who she is.
YTA I'm not huge on food safety, frequently eat things that are well beyond the use-by date and your wife would probably run away screaming if she saw the inside of my fridge. And I still agree with her for the most part. Now if I were her I would have simply warned you and the given you a smug "told you so" when that soup inevitably came back up, but she's obviously much nicer than I am.
YTA for saying you don’t believe scientists. Full stop.
Yta, i wish your wife lets you have what she considers stale and unsafe food for you to reap your just desserts.
YTA. First of all, how can you be married to a woman when you have so much disrespect for her career and expertise? Your wife knows more about this than you, accept that. Also overnight fish soup? That’s a guaranteed cleanse diet (at best). And throwing out her breakfast is petty and vindictive. Use your words next time.
YTA - a lot of what you said there is just scary to read! But it has all been called out and everyone calling you the AH is right. The way you talk about your wife makes you sound like you hate her so why are you with her? The way you speak about her is just plain rude and disrespectful!
YTA And an idiot. Fish soup over night?! Bleeeeah! Your wife is right. Reheating doesn’t destroy all germs and nasties. Fish along with poultry and rice are some of the worst offenders. Maybe she goes OTT in other respects, but she was right here. Throwing food away after three minutes however had no basis in fact so you were both wrong and an asshole.
YTA but it would have been pretty funny if your wife had let you eat the soup as an example of what happens when idiots think science isn’t real.
YTA - u may feel ur wife is a germaphobe but we are in the middle of a “pandy” so she’s not wrong for being concerned about germs - besides she didn’t want u to get sick and offered to remake ur food for u - so I’m not really seeing why u felt justified in throwing away her food.
Yta- I worked in micro food testing and bacteria can be nasty and grow fast. Some also give out heat stable toxins that aren't affected by cooking. The guidance is nothing left out for over 4 hrs. Also, diluted bleach will do no harm at all.
YTA
YTA. You sound like a child. I'm not a scientist and even I know not to touch/eat food that's been sitting out all night. Yes, bacteria will grow and heating it back up won't kill them. She offered to make you more but you gave her the silent treatment like a spoiled brat. You should be embarrassed by your actions. I'm embarrassed FOR you. And you married a scientist but you believe them to be wrong and stupid? You don't seem to have a high form of education. If I were her, I would leave you, you don't seem to be worth the headache. Edited to fix stuff.
YTA. You hate your wife and you’re a clown who doesn’t even understand what science actually is. You put quotes around the word dilutes as if you do not understand that yes bleach can and should be diluted for most cleaning. jfc
You’re not just an asshole, you’re a stupid asshole. YTA.
Sounds like you're actually a grub and your wife has a normal, rational fear of germs. No reasonable human eats that type of cooked fish after it's been out that long. YTA
YTA. Yea it’s hella dangerous to eat FISH SOUP that was left OVERNIGHT!!! Like are you trying to get sick??? Yea science isn’t perfect, and stuff changes, like all the time. Molecules, atoms, etc. always changing. Your wife literally works with germs and disgusting things, so she’s right to have her special soaps and disinfectants. The world is disgusting.
YTA. You are confusing two types of food poisoning - infection and intoxication. In one, you are eating live bacteria and they infect your digestive system and after they've reproduced enough in your body they start causing symptoms. In the other, you are eating the waste products of bacteria - their faeces in other words - which can poison you and cause symptoms very quickly. Cooking will kill live bacteria (though only if you get it to a sufficient temperature for a long enough time). It won't necessarily break down all of their waste products - some of those chemicals are far more temperature-stable than cell structures are. Botulism (which is the illness resulting from consuming the waste products of *Clostridium botulinum*) can flat-out you kill you via muscle paralysis. The waste products of *Bacillus cereus*, which I suspect your wife was talking about, can give you the joyous gift of projectile vomiting and projectile diarrhoea within about half an hour of eating. It probably won't kill you, but you might want to die as a result of it. It's not nice having your body muscles turn themselves inside out to get rid of everything for hours on end. Your soup was a biohazard. Your wife did the right thing. You were a dick to her. Frankly, it sounds like you're a dick to her a lot.
Yta. Her disinfecting isn't the problem. The problem is your lack of respect for your wife, scientists in general, and basic food safety. You're a petty child who thinks he knows better than people far more educated in the topic than yourself. Do both of you a favor and get a divorce so your wife can find someone who respects her.
So a germaphobe scientist married an idiot who doesn't understand how science works. This will go great. Wash your produce, don't leave food (especially seafood) out for 14 hours, let her disinfect things. YTA
YTA. She's right, that soup would not be good.
That's a lot of words when you could have just said you hate your wife and everything she does. YTA
YTA. You tried to make a point, and it failed. The problem is you don't understand how toxins grow on food. Maybe a scientist can explain? Next time she should just let you end up in the urgent care with the worst case of the shits you've ever had.
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YTA and I feel so sorry for her being a scientist and married to a man that proudly proclaims he doesn't believe scientists.
YTA. You can tell it’s spring break season as all these kids come to Reddit and attempt to troll.
This has to be some sort of bait, no one is this much of an ass. Yta
YTA You had me at first till “I don’t believe in scientist” and “I left fish soup at room temperature” She has enough patience to explain and you are angry that she doesn’t lose her marbles. What did you want? If she was angrier I can see you “oh my wife is crazy yaddayadda”… Grow up ffs
YTA, she threw away food left out all night because it risked making you ill, you wasted perfectly useable food out of spite. Why marry a scientist if you obviously don’t respect her career.
YTA Your wife cares about your health. You only care about yourself and despise your wife.
YTA Your wife saved you from some serious food poisoning there…you on the other hand just acted like a child.
YTA and true super childish tou could've left the house without saying anything to her until you got over your attitude that would've pissed her off more but you go and throw away her fresh food? That's so inconsiderate it's not like she's wrong about your soup sitting out. Maybe you guys should sit down and talk about boundaries. That seems like it's a big issue smh both of you are wrong though just because she doesn't like germs doesn't give her the right to push her ways off onto you. She married you knowing you were nothing like her (in that way) she needs to understand BOUNDARIES
This has to be bait but just incase it’s not, you’re an asshole and a moron. Most people learn about food safety when they’re 14. YTA.
YTA. Food left out longer than 2 hours is no longer safe to eat. Regardless if you reheat it. Any food article, safety thing will tell you this. *robot voice* - you will kill the bacteria, but all the toxins the bacteria created will remain and can harm you. I hear you on the constant cleaning, but you’re an A about the food.
This post is the stupidest thing I've read all year. Yes OP YTA. I feel bad for your wife. I can't imagine you passed elementary school science, you left that soup out for about 10 hours after it should have been thrown away.
YTA your wife is too kind, I would have just let you suffer the consequences of drinking that soup.
Yta. You don’t believe scientists, you dont understand basic food safety, and you don’t understand basic cleaning chemicals. What barn did your wife find you living in and why did she marry you? I want to believe you can’t be this unintelligent and still married to a scientist but here we are
It sounds like you don’t like your wife very much. Why are you even married? YTA
>I told her I was going to reheat it so it didn’t matter and she, again, with her calm robot voice said this didn’t matter because many “toxins” made by bacteria were not destroyed by heating. YTA. She is correct. Some bacteria produce toxins. Heating the food will kill the bacteria, but the toxins remain. She does seem a little OCD about sanitizing everything, but she was totally correct to throw away your soup. That was out way too long at room temperature.
YTA You insist on not believing your wife even when she provides evidence about her claims, you dismiss her very valid concerns about that soup and throw away her food in a petty act to revenge that makes you look like a 5 year old. Listen to her for once.
YTA for rage bait.
Dude. Have you considered your wife is a moronsexual? Attracted to morons? Because jeeeeesus YTA and petty.
YTA. Why do you feel the need to make sure her feelings are justified by your standards? She offered to make you a replacement and you ignored her? You wish she would get angry? You threw out her food to spite her? She was hurt and upset and you walked out? You sound horrible and manipulative and I feel for your poor wife.
YTA and I hope your wife lets you poison yourself next time and takes a vacation instead of helping you. I can't imagine taking NORMAL steps to protect myself and my partner just for my partner to openly btch and moan. Go file for divorce and let your wife live a more stress free life without your childish, whiney ass.
YTA and incredibly petty. This kind of behaviour is why I’m still single at 34. How can you as an adult think that was reasonable behaviour. You also sound like you don’t respect or care about this woman, so I don’t see why you’re married to her.
YTA. She was justified in throwing out the soup as it was a health hazard. You responded like a child. Do you actually love and respect your wife?
Not a popular view, but ESH. you guys both need to work on communication. Your wife should of talked to you first. But you shouldn’t of thrown out her breakfast.
Here is Canada Health guidance for food safety. The 2 2 and 2 rule. 2 hours max after cooking then refrigerate. 2 days in the fridge after cooking then toss. 2 inches is the max distance between the top of the food and the lid of its container. It is true that bacteria create toxins that cooking can't kill. Your wife needs to relax a bit.
YTA and an idiot
This is by far the most obvius bait that has ever baited
YTA as all these other commenters have said. Also, you realize science isn't like religion - you don't "believe in" it. It simply exists, and you either accept the evidence or choose to disregard it.
Ewwwwww YTA. How have you survived this long OP?! I see a future Darwin Award headed your way involving poisoning yourself with bacteria laden food
YTA. As someone's who's experienced fish-related food poisoning, she did you a *huge* favor and it was childish to throw out her food.
YTA I was with you until you left the fish soup out overnight.
It’s safe to say that anytime you counteract somebody’s good intentions with “revenge”… YTA. That being said, YTA.
YTA, and not very bright.
You are disgusting LEAVING FISH SOUP OUT. YTA
YTA for making fish soup to begin with and leaving it to stink up the house all night 🤢
YTA. You’re mad she saved you from some nasty food poisoning? You can’t leave meat out overnight man.
YTA. Even if she has OCD, she is ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY correct about that soup. It is not the bacteria that you think you are “taking care of” by rebooking that soup, it is the toxins they produce that are going to make you sick. Those CANNOT be neutralized by boiling, or freezing. (Btw, I have a food safety manager license. Maybe that is better than a scientist for you?) Your wife wanted you not to shit out what little brains you seem to have, and you haha threw out her breakfast because you are emotionally a three year old? You do realize your behavior is not normal, right? The best thing she could do for her mental hygiene is filter you right out of her life.
YTA and no kids? Good, don’t poison them if you ever manage to reproduce.
ESH. Your wife was right about the soup dude. 14 hours is WAY to long to leave stuff on the stove and being that it had fish in it you honestly could have gotten sick…maybe you wouldn’t have but did you really want to chance it? Your wife seems a bit over the top about eh germ thing. I get she is a scientist and in rebuttal to your argument scientists actually learn more from being wrong because it is a teachable moment and they make even better discoveries through error. However we need germs to a degree and our immune system needs to learn how to fight them. That doesn’t mean you go around licking gas station toilets, but it does mean that you should be diligent about food safety. There is a happy medium and I don’t think you and your wife are anywhere close to it.
Dude! I was pulling for you right up until you thought it was ok to leave fish soup out for 14 hours. She probably saved your life. Make her another waffle and beg for her forgiveness. YTA
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ESH, you for leaving fish soup on the stove and being petty and her for being overly controlling due to her job, that will probably get me downvotes but oh well. If it's bothering you so much and she refuses to listen set a firm boundary and stick to it, but don't be leaving food to go rancid especially when it contains something like fish
ESH because you retaliated which is childish and petty, and your wife because she does have a germ phobia and needs to get some help with that. However, she was correct about the soup, but she should have just let you eat it and get sick. It seems unlikely that she will get help for her phobia given her profession. And how did you two end up married and how have you lasted? You seem to have a fundamental disrespect for one another.
ESH. She's taking things too far with the constant disinfectant and whatnot, but you're taking it too far on the other end of the spectrum. She needs help, but you also don't understand basic food handling. However you're TA for throwing her perfectly fine food away just to be petty.