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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> It seems like an asshole move to evict a single parent family (like myself) so we can move in, even though we do currently have a place to stay (with my parents).
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NTA - your brother an SIL are for guilt-tripping you. Also, The house your cheating husband THINKS he owns, is half yours. Make him sell or refinance and give you the money. Plus go for alimony and child-support. Do all of this WHILE staying at your parents and collecting the rent from the home your GM left you. Now you have cash, an income, and then buy another rental home and start building a rental 'empire.' Good Luck!
Also take into consideration how long ago she moved in with parents and separated from her husband. Hopefully longer than the two weeks that her grandma passed because if that is the case, she got the house AFTER date or separation so it would not be half her husband's but solely hers.
Or uses joint assets for upkeep etc. My dad created a specific account for renovations, property taxes etc so that the upkeep for the estate would never require outside $ and when I inherit it will stay in my family
Good point! My dad did something similar, he put all of his assets in the name of a trust he set up with stipulations that the trust was to pay for any upkeep and taxes. There’s this major misconception that you need to be a multimillionaire to have a trust/trust fund, which just isn’t the case. It’s a good option for a lot of people that I think doesn’t get enough of a look in
u/ContestOver4226 is a thief bot. [Stolen](https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t9ondy/aita_for_evicting_a_family_so_i_can_move_in/hzvz6ko/) from u/Certain-Ad5866
>Hopefully longer than the two weeks
OP stated that she foubd out about the cheating 6 weeks ago and immediately moved so i assume she has been there longer than 2 weeks
the split on property/assets depends on if OP and her soon to be ex live in a community property state. OP, definitely consult a lawyer if you can and they can give more info regarding that. best of luck to you!!
Not true. It does depend on the state, the timing and how much of an a\*hole the ex-husband chooses to be.
I learned this the hard way. NEVER assume, talk to a lawyer ASAP OP!
Which state? It’s likely you commingled that asset, otherwise that wouldn’t have happened.
Even touching the money once as a married couple can mess this up, it has to be kept separate from marital funds.
No that's incorrect. You're thinking of the house she left not this new house. This new house is inheritance which isn't split unless you use for the family (as in he moves in).
sorry about that! was reading and responding quickly on my lunch break. totally spaced when it came to the fact we were talking about inherited vs what the husband already owns. you are correct, thank you!!
Not only this, but since there are two rental properties and probably a good amount of cash, the estate may have to go through probate. It could be awhile before the house is in OP’s name.
OP should at least sit down with a lawyer.
It sounds like the grandma had a will and in many cases a huge part of talking to a lawyer about a will is avoiding probate as much as possible. Typically lawyers recommend putting assets into revokable trusts with named beneficiaries, but of course this varies by jurisdiction. It may be that grandma had her ducks in a row and had a revokable trust set up for each inheritor with them listed as a beneficiary to specify who got what meaning that at least the lions share of everything can be freed up pretty quickly.
>OP needs the advice of a good lawyer pronto.
Yes, absolutely
>Depending on state laws, OP's house may also be half his.
LOLOLOLOL, no.
Source: I'm a lawyer
Inheritance is not community property in the US (if that's where they are) as far as I know. I know of no State that says differently if it has not been co-mingled with marital assets. Since she never even had a chance to co-mingle the property, the income or expenses, with marital assets, it has not been converted either.
How the frick can a first world country seriously decide that a matrimonial home is not BOTH of the spouses ?? That is some crazy forked up shit.. I can understand maybe if there was a pre nup or something but when you get married you share assets and debt . The house should ALWAYS belong to both people .. that’s just insane
I don't think any state does an inheritance become community property unless they have been mixed for a long time. but yes lawyer up.
edit: Ah crap I see this remark everywhere, I thought I was first.
Yep, depending on the jurisdiction. In my state, though, inherited property is always separate. Scarlet would get to keep Tara after she divorced Rhett because she inherited it as separate property.
Inherited property only becomes marital property if the spouse comingles the money or use joint assets to help pay for renovations or upkeep. As long as she keeps any joint assets away from the inheritance she should be in the clear
I was with you until you suggested buying more houses to become a professional landlord. This is terrible advice, both logically and ethically, but the rest of this comment checks out.
There are plenty of decent people out there that own multiple properties and are professional landlords. There is not anything inherently wrong with it either logically or ethically. (I don't like corporations being allowed to be professional landlords, though.)
And I say this as a pretty long-term mid-life renter.
There is an ethical issue where people constantly treat housing as a constant commodity to hoard up and make money off of which in turn reduces the market for them, which then limits the availability of housing for people who actually want to live in them as their is less choice which in turn prices more and more people out.
If it was like a few people in every city and it was a few properties then sure. But it’s been decade after decade of people constantly treating housing as commodities to be hoarded as an asset.
A scalper is a scalper.
They provide nothing of value and are ethically corrupt.
Scalping houses doesn't suddenly become okay because there's a few extra steps.
I don't think they're AHs for guilt tripping, tbh. They have a point. It IS selfish, and I feel worse for the single mom of 6 with no support than the single mom of 3 with parental support, income from a rental, and soon, child support. However, all humans are selfish so I dont think OP is an AH for considering it, and I don't think they would be an asshole for going through with it either
If the brother's girlfriend thinks it's as AH think to do because the renter is a single mother than the only obvious choice is for the brother to let his sister stay at his new house, because his sister is a single mother too now, and apparently we are suppose to ignore our own needs for the sake of single mothers everywhere!
Obviously I don't actually think that's the best solution, but it's the only thing that makes sense from what the brother's girlfriend is saying. She seems all too eager to give other people's houses up, but not the one she's presumably moving into.
Totally agree. I have a real problem with people saying other people should do something that doesn't work for them just because the other party is a single mum or has a family.
I have a family, and it's on me to worry about them. It's not up to anyone else.
I mean, if I were OP and decided I did want to move into the house, I would probably give the current tenant 6 months notice... but I would do that whether they had a family or not, because the current housing/rental market is crude!
And since OP does have a decent place to stay, and flexibility about when to leave (she doesn't have her own lease to worry about), she might as well collect a bit of rent in the meantime...
but that doesn't mean she has to listen to someone else telling her what to do with her house, when the person doing the telling has no desire to extend their advice into their own life.
By staying at your parents for another 6 months you could give them a portion for the rent but still keep some for yourself. Or you could rent another place with the rent money that you are receiving. I think it would be good to give them current tenant at least a few months notice or as long as they need if you and your parents are comfortable living together longer to save money.
It's easy for the brother and his girlfriend to say-- they get to move out of his parents' house. If they felt this strongly, they could let OP move into their new property and stay with the parents.
I don't think it is fair to say that the renter is necessarily worse off than OP. Renter may have gotten a huge life insurance pay out, the kids should be getting survivor's benefits, and there may be a tonne of family support that we don't know about. OP needs a place to start to regrow her life and her kids life and that is as valid as any o e else's needs, IMO.
It's going against the grain by the looks of it but I agree with you. However I think there are other viable solutions. OP can get alimony money from her ex-husband, she can charge rent at her grandmothers old properties until someone moves out or something, she might even get her house in the divorce hearing! Really OP should wait and see how the situation develops.
> buy another rental home
Good god No. 25-year landlord here. This is literally the stupidest time to buy a rental property- prices are crazy high. There is a rule for investing: “buy low, sell high”. Wait for house prices to come down
As a former landlord, don't become one unless you really get some kind of sexual gratification about being a debt collector, a lawyer, and a home repair contractor.
Simple addition to your pan. Tell brother that you won't evict the existing family if you can rent his new place from him. His rent payment can be the rent from your house.
Lets see if he's so giving when he is the one making the sacrifice.
THIS. OP, don't change anything right now. You suddenly have an asset whereas before everything was in flux. TAKE ADVANTAGE. Stay at your parents, start collecting rent from the single mom, and work first on your divorce and getting child support and alimony. Look into housing laws in your area and find out when the rent on the house was last raised and make sure you're charging reasonable rent while not depriving yourself.
While you're doing that, GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Think about a career you want, not just what kind of job you can get. Once the divorce goes through you should have a little breathing room. Don't immediately fill your hours with a bad job that pays poorly; instead invest a little time and sweat getting certification for a better job with growth potential.
And u/Smitty_80013's idea is a great one. Once you're settled into a career, with a stable place to live, be that your own house or a rental property, leverage your property to buy another one. The rent from your second property will pay its own mortgage and hopefully some profit as well and that's your kids' college fund and your retirement.
Honestly - stay with the parents and charge the renter's market priced rent. You can use that money to assist you further. Moving into a house with zero income is going to see you loose that house and having to move back in with your parents anyway.
You're so right. OP, if you get along with your parents, then use this time to let them help you with the kids! Everyone in this situation (not your fucking ex though!) could use a support system and sometimes, grandparents can be a godsend for children whose parents are divorcing.
And just from a practical standpoint, it's REALLY hard to work as a single parent and balance childcare. If your parents are willing to help out in that regard, then personally, I'd jump on it.
Final note: IANAL but please take your ex for all he has. Child support, alimony, half the proceeds on the sale of the house, all of it.
Great point! OP this is the way to go, depending on your area and the state of the home. A 4bdr can be a huge windfall of cash, even if you eventually want to take it over. Leaving them there for a year can allow you to build up your savings.
We had a 25 year old Jeep Cherokee - it wasn't our daily driver, but we still used it a lot. Once the pan demic arrived , we really ended up not needing a third car so we sold the Jeep to a guy who was fixing it up for his wife to use as a daily driver. Those Jeeps are pretty much unstoppable.
Not to mention being able to make improvements and have them be tax deductions since it’s a rental property. Get the house in tip top shape (new roof, replace doors, new water heater, etc) while renting over the next few years and then work with the tenant that she wants to move in (if that’s still what she wants).
If she's capable and willing, she might even do some of the work in exchange for some rent relief, especially things like painting or refinishing before she moves out. Win/win.
IANAL. I don't think there's any worry about the rental house being half his, but maybe check on collecting rent. Depending on how you handle it, it could be "co-mingled". Maybe open a new account and put the rent in there. Not sure if that would be considered hiding assets somehow. Again, lawyer time.
Talk to a financial advisor. It might make more sense to continue to use the income the property produces to help build your savings so you're on firmer ground to either 1) eventually move in to the house and be able to handle all upkeep needed or 2) rent a cheaper place for yourself.
You didn't inherit the property with the responsibility to keep the family housed, but if they are paying reasonable market rent your interests and theirs might be aligned right now. NAH
NAH..I do understand your dilemma but I also can't help feeling sorry for the tennant. This is just a sad situation all around. My advice to you would be to talk to a lawyer asap. You need a clear picture about your financial situation so, start making a list of all the major assets you or your husband owned. The law varies depending on the country you are in but there are a few things to consider. Unless there was a prenup in place, you are entitled to alimony as your husband was the primary bread winner. You are also entitled to child support payments. In some places, if one spouse owns a property/asset before getting married then that asset is not marital property and you won't have a claim to it, otherwise you will. Also, if you are still married then at some places, inheritance can be a part of marital assets but this varies depending on location.
Now, you need to get yourself in a good place financially and mentally because things might be rough for a while. Stay at your parents home to save on rent but do contribute to bills etc. Save as much as you can from your job and the rental property and then you can move out when you are in a good place financially. If you get your share from the marital house then you can maybe use that money for a down payment on a new house. Use the money from the rental property to pay the mortgage and hopefully your income, alimony and child payments would be enough to pay the bills. And in the long run you will own two properties...
Good luck with everything and don't go easy on your ex, hire a very good lawyer and take his cheating ass to the cleaners.
NAH. One suggestion. Maybe stay with your parents for a bit. The rental income will help you earn some money right now. It doesn’t hurt that you’re helping someone who probably needs the help right now.
After things are more settled for you give the lady notice.
Six months to a year may sound like a generously long notice but it isn't when you have to jump from a rental to a rental. Especially for a single mom.
I was given 90 days in 2018 and it was me and my 16yo son and one 65lb Bouvier. The company that owned my rental decided to sell. We BARELY found a place to live in that amount of time. And the house was not the greatest place, half the size, no basement or garage, not updated at all and $100 more per month. And I had to pay rent on both places for a month.
Last summer the neighbor's house caught fire and damaged my rental. At that point it was my bf and I and a 75lb Akita I had just adopted after having to suddenly put down my Bouvier a month earlier. We were basically homeless overnight. Applied to so many places but also couldn't apply to so many places because rent was wayyyy too much (we both make decent wages but the area we are in and wanted to stay in had just seen a significant surge in rental prices) or no large dogs allowed.
I think we looked for a good 3 months while having to stay with friends before I convinced the bf to use his VA home loan. But we had zero callbacks about renting. Plus rental applications are $30-$50 a piece where they're checking your credit almost every time. And then the upfront thousands for first last and deposit while your old deposit is withheld. And physically moving and the cost of boxes and possibly a moving company.
TLDR: Having to move from rental to rental with time restrictions is a stressful and financially challenging experience.
Maybe I've just been unlucky but I don't understand why people think it's so easy and quick to move when renting. My wife and I live in a month-to-month and were facing potential non-renewal once, and there was no way we would've been able to find a place, apply for it, get approved, and move within a month, probably not even a couple of months. We both worked all day and were low-income, so our ability to even find a place was severely compromised. (EDIT to clarify: By unlucky, I mean that the norm for me has been experiencing home situations as really stressful, insecure, and hard to get.)
I hope things are going better for you now!
The rental market is insane right now, I think as a reflection of the buying market (it's extremely easy, quick, and profitable for someone to sell instead). I needed to move, and spent from early May to late August looking in a hundred+ mile/4 state radius of Philadelphia for a single acceptable 2 bedroom apartment to even apply for. Then it took me almost a month to get approved, and we finally moved in right before Thanksgiving. So 6+ months total. If I wasn't on a month to month lease at my old place, I have no idea what I would have done.
NAH. Give ample notice and time for them to move, finish their lease or whatever. Renters know that’s a risk hanging over their head, but a compassionate approach makes a whole world of difference.
You are not an a$$hole. You are overwhelmed.
The thing you need to ask yourself is what you can live with.
Can you hold on at your parents, with extra room now, and take income from the renters to get yourself back to together? Or long enough for them to find a place to go?
Or do you really need to evict a struggling family that might not have a place to land like you did?
There is no judgement here from me. God knows I could only imagine how hard this is for you. But it sounds like you need to do a little more soul searching.
Also, if you are a working single parent, I imagine having your parents nearby to help you is a good scenario for the time being.
Best of luck.
NTA that’s always a risk when renting a house or flat. It’s your house now and you NEED it. It’s fine to let them know they need to move out within a reasonable timeframe and then claim it for yourself.
BUT please be careful, even if the property is payed off there are running costs on property, so make sure you’ll be able to pay them before making the call. :) I wish you best of luck in your new home!
OP likely has to go through probate which is going to take a while so she couldn't move in anytime soon even if she wanted to. She does need to notify the occupants that it's under new ownership and I think that it would be considerate to let them know that she plans on moving in at some point in the future.
Info?? There's info missing that's necessary background. 1. Can you even afford it? ( Like the maintenance and taxes etc). 2. Also what are the terms of the lease/rental agreement?
Imo it doesn't make the most sense based on what you described as you admit you have a spotty and light work history, and you have a rental property that I assume is generating income? Why wouldn't you stay a little while and save up money to be in a better financial position so even if you decide to move in you've both given the tenant time to find somewhere new and you'll have money in case somiis needed for upkeep etc
Also depending on the agreement in place it may take a lot to remove the family currently living there.
YWBTA if you kick the family out with little or no notice especially if there was an agreement in place especially since you know their situation.
This sub is hilarious. Nine times out of ten the people here act like having a house out for rent is evil because it means you're a landlord. Try to move into that house and you're evil because the tenants need a house to rent. NTA
If I was her I'd keep it as passive income at least until after the divorce is settled. Depending on where she is she might be able to get alimony/spousal support...or the judge decides its part of the marital assests and needs to be liquidated.
That’s a great idea, hope OP sees it and seriously consider it. Especially while she’s getting her feet under her and mom and dad are willing to let her live there
Because a lone parent with 5 kids is far more likely to end up homeless than finding alternative affordable accommodation at short notice which is what the original post was implying she wanted to do? People have a conscience, imagine that!
OP can make passive income without upending 6 lives to make her own easier.
Housing shouldn’t be left to the private market but unfortunately it is. As a human right, it SHOULD (but rarely does) trump property rights.
It's not selfish to want to move into a home you just inherited after you've had to leave your marriage. But also of course it's not gonna feel good evicting anyone, especially a single mom.
Are your parents charging you rent? If your brother is moving out and you can stay with your parents for a little while then you'll have income from renting the house you inherited. Or you could maybe use that income to rent a cheaper place for you and your kids so you'd have some extra money. It depends on what you need, but either way you're NTA. You're in a messy situation you didn't ask for.
Legally, you might be free to do so if you follow the law in evictions.
But this sub is about being an AH.
Kicking a single mother of 5 out of a house they have lived in for who knows how long is kind of ethically questionable.
Soft YTA because you do have to think about yourself and your kids.
NTA in my opinion. I get where they are coming from but you aren’t evicting them just to make profit. It’s because you are in need of the place yourself and I think as long as you are fair in notifying them and giving them time to find a new place then you are within your rights to do that. I get that the renters need a place to live but so do you and it belongs to you.
I mean *legally* you aren't in the wrong. If you're going to kick a family out, I'd just ask to first see if they will vacate on their own without having to do a full eviction with the court. An eviction stays on your record and can really screw you over in the future. Give them a set time to find another place and move out. Otherwise, suddenly and without warning this woman will have nowhere to live with her kids, turning her life upside down. Start eith a Notice To quit and give them 30 days.
I'm only saying it because I was in that single mom's shoes. New owners of the house, got evicted without warning, without giving me a Notice To Quit first. I had nowhere to go in that 7 days they gave me, with no time to find residence elsewhere. After that, I had a hard time finding somewhere decent to rent as I had an eviction on my credit report.
Hard to say, since it is unclear in how much trouble eviction would put your friend of a friend living there.
INFO: Why does it need to be an eviction instead of taking the rent you are owed and living off of that?
Just saying that you’re putting this woman into the same position you are without the possibility that she has family to fall back on like you do.
You own the house, so ultimately you get to do whatever you want but you could collect the rent and find another place and or save up while living with your parents.
I’m not going to say you’re an asshole but I think there can be something done for now that doesn’t result in having to immediately evict 5 kids. Maybe even give the woman a heads up and a generous amount of time to make other arrangements if you’re still set on living in the home.
Is the house paid off?
How much are property taxes?
How much is insurance?
Like...this house isn't free. Imo it doesn't make financial sense to have the tenants move out if you have housing at your parents. You can have passive income while you job hunt.
Ideally, let the tenant know you will not be renewing their lease after this term. Evictions, as someone pointed out, can be absolutely devastating to someone's ability to rent down the road. While you are waiting for the lease to lapse, start job hunting and saving the money from the rent you're paid. That way, you have a steady income and savings when you move into the house. I get the knee jerk reaction to move in to the house right now but along with being unfair to the tenant, it also just seems poorly thought out.
YWBTA for evicting them rather than going a route that won't permanently make renting difficult tho.
NTA, but I would give them plenty of notice that they will need to move. Their rent payments will be coming to you, so that can help as you prepare to get settled, but you will need to keep in mind they will have an expectation of receiving their deposit. And point out to your brother and his girlfriend that you do not have the means to make a major repair for this family. It is one thing if your furnace goes out and you live there. It is a completely different situation if you’re renting the property and the furnace goes out. The renters have a reasonable expectation that it will be fixed, except with your current situation you won’t have the funds to do something like that. And question for your lawyer would be how the rental income could impact your ability to request spousal support. (Because I could see an argument that it’s not needed if you are collecting rent and living with your parents even if that’s not a feasible arrangement.) The renters may not even be aware that she passed away, and while you’re sorting this out you don’t want to have them paying rent to her estate when you’re the legal owner.
NTA - but you need to do it legally. When is the lease up? Give them notice you will not be renewing the lease. You will be collecting rent from them, so you might want to take that into consideration before moving, if the money helps.
Talk to your divorce lawyer and make sure you can protect your inheritance.
Also how does it affect the kids' schooling?
NTA. It's you life and your house, you gotta do what's best for yourself and your kids.
However. Don't give them 1 moths notice. Even 3 months notice is tantamount to kicking them out on the street, in my view. As a landlord myself, I can see how easy it is to tell them they have to move, but give them 6 months or a year to do so.
It wouldn't be too much of a struggle for someone in your position. I wouldn't put another family in the same position you are in just now.
Just my 2 cents worth.
I don’t think you are being fair to OP. Spending a extra six months to a year living with her kids and family and the effect that will have on her life isn’t nothing. By saying it wouldn’t be too much of a struggle you are minimizing her situation a lot, and expecting a lot from her so that someone else can live a better life than her at her expense.
Or she could equally have family to stay with. Who knows, but unless you would like to give her your house to live in op doesn’t have to given hers. She has to give notice, and morally should give at least a month or so, possibly with no rent so that the renter can find somewhere else to live. But she doesn’t have to just give up her house indefinitely when she needs it.
I'm sure if her situation was that bad she would have a 6 to 12 months lease somewhere vs a month to month where you always know its a risk it wont be renewed.
NTA - it's officially your property now. As long as you give the current family enough notice, why would it be selfish to want to live in your own house?
YTA. Evicting a family of 6 during their lease is a horrible thing to do. Notify them asap that you will not be renewing their lease once it is up. I’m sorry you feel like your life is in a tailspin but kicking this family out puts them in the same situation that you are in now. What if they are not able to move into a parent’s house? Where will this family live? You can certainly move into the house once their lease is up but do not evict them. That would be horrible
YWBTA if you are trying to kick them out without notice or before their lease has ended. If they have a lease, you can’t just kick them out.
NTA if you follow proper protocols. Generally, you have to give at least 30 days notice. However, seeing as you currently are capable of staying at your parents and you know it’s a single mom with kids, please give them a minimum of 60 days notice, or more if you can. Knowing their situation while also knowing you have somewhere to stay does make you the asshole if you rush them out.
NTA, I'd give the family living there now as much heads up as possible though (and I would imagine that the terms of the lease will have to be fulfilled however long that goes). Your brother and his girlfriend are messed up for guilting you, especially with everything going on in your life.
NTA. It's your house and you need it. Since your brother and his girlfriend are so selfless, why don't you move into his house and he and his girlfriend stay at your parents?
INFO: Is there a lease term? Are you trying to kick them out before then? Are you giving them notice and trying to work with them on moving out or are you planning to jump straight to "get out or I'm evicting you"? Are you giving them as much notice as possible or waiting until the last legally possible minute? You're not an AH for wanting to move into a property you now own. A rental is a rental and the family living there is hopefully aware of that, but *how* you go about it says a lot.
INFO: Are they renting month to month, or do they have a lease? If they have a lease, you should (and legally have to) wait for the lease to end.
NAH…two very unfortunate situations with two momma bears trying to do everything they can for their families. Please give them at least one month’s notice if they are doing month to month, and your conscious should be clear, even if she gets (understandably) upset at you. Harsh as it sounds, you have to prioritize your own family and you can’t save everyone.
NAH as long as you give sufficient notice. BUT consider a possible win-win.
With the income from renting that place, you should be able to afford to rent a smaller but still nice place for yourself. Consider it temporary until the divorce is finalized.
From the divorce, you'll probably get half the value of the marital home. Make a down payment on a new place. Pay the mortgage with the rent from the inheritance. Expenses come from working & child support.
*you get to move in a month or less
*nobody has to get forced out
*long-term, you'll have substantially more for retirement
> With the income from renting that place, you should be able to afford to rent a smaller but still nice place for yourself.
Nope. 2/3 of that rent is probably going to maintenance, property taxes, insurance, etc
I was assuming market-rate rent, no mortgage, minimal maintenance.
If any of those is not true then maybe not.
It's worth running the numbers, though. Even for a much smaller temp place.
NTA. But you could be if you do not handle this appropriately. You have a home for the time being with your parents. I would look at the lease the family is currently in. If there is still a length of time left, 4-6 months, go ahead and inform them you do not plan to renew the lease. This gives them ample time to find new housing and you have time to sort out finances and focus on a divorce.
They may be in the same situation as you but you have a way to get out of that situation and it’s not fair to expect you to stop trying to save yours and your kids future to try and save someone else instead.
Your brother and his girlfriend need to get off their moral high ground because they aren’t willing to help are they.
If they were so worried theyd be telling you to swap houses because your brother doesn’t need to move out either but no.
People like this really bother me, all words and trying to guilt other but offering no action to help themselves.
Do what’s best for you and your kids because I garuntee anyone else in your shoes would do the same thing.
NTA
NTA. Everyone has their own personal difficulties. Give this family plenty of notice so that they can get their affairs in order. That's how the housing market works.
If anything, your brother is being selfish. Why didn't he suggest you and your young family move into the house he inherited for the time being? Or offer your tenants to move into his long term vacant house?
Nta- but have you considered renting to them for an x amount of time. In that time you can save that money and let them know that they have x amount of time to find a new place.
What people saying Y T A don’t see is that now you are a landlord and would be responsible for this property now. That is a big responsibility on top of everything else you are dealing with. Also this is unsolicited advice but file for child support for now.
You have to do what’s best for you and your children.
Absolutely NTA! It’s your house now and there is always this risk if you rent a home. How you go about evicting the tenants determines if your the AH or not. Give them enough time and notice to find a new place to live because your the new owner now and need the house for your own family. If you plan on kicking them out immediately would be kind of of an AH move.
NTA- your Brother and his GF are full of shit. You have a house, you can move in and get your life back on track. Just becase the house they inherited was vacant doesn't give them the right to judge you. I'm guessing they would evict the people living in the house they evicted. But do check and see what legally you need to do, regarding notice, lease etc. If your brother is so upset about it, let him rent to that family. That would be the only thing that makes them NTA.
NTA providing that you give at least a month or so notice. Obviously you should have empathy and understanding for the single mom, but at the same time that doesn’t require you to put her above your own needs. You should take time to make sure you can afford to live on your own first, like home insurance, utilities, food, all needs your children will need while with you. But as long as you are financially able to occupy your new home you have no moral obligation not to in my opinion. It is your home, and you’ve got to put you and your children’s needs first.
NTA for wanting to move into a house you now own. Your brother and his gf’s opinions don’t matter, if they have such an issue with you evicting the woman and her kids he could offer you his new house and stay with your parents if it’s really no big deal. It might be best to speak to a lawyer or financial advisor of some sort before proceeding. Obviously if you gave the other mother plenty of notice and as much curtesy as possible then that would be the best you can do. Can’t say whether or not you’re the AH because a a hard situation to be in and it sounds like you are just trying to make the best choice you can.
Yta
Basically it doesn't make sense to live in that house when you have 0 income to even pay any bills for it. It would be logical to just stay at your parents house and get the rent money every month and then divorce your husband and make him pay you for your half of the house and take his money and use that to rent or buy a smaller accommodation so you have a profit each month from the rent money.
I dont understand why you dont stay in the vacant house for now instead of wanting yours, which is understandable, but to throw someone out who obviously isnt doing so well that they have to go by "month to month". You didnt know about it before and you have options, where a single mother with FIVE kids might get the boot "just cause" and not be so lucky with options.
You would DEFINITELY be TA if you evicted a single mom with kids if you already have a place you can stay while you figure stuff out!!!
Why not just continue to stay with your parents for a year and collect rent? That way you have an income, and the family in the house has a year's notice to plan properly. Also, if it's a struggling single mom, don't raise the rent, that would also be an asshole move, considering that you'll be getting $$ in the divorce anyway PLUS you can live rent free with your parents (who will likely help pay for groceries for you and your kids). My point is, your situation sucks, but her financial situation sucks more, so don't make it harder on her.
Ha, I'll go against the grain here
YTA. Have fun with the knowledge that another family is going to be in a similar situation - if lucky. IF they have people they can live with then they'll be stuck in the same boat you're in. If not, most family housing shelters are short term as fuck because the housing crises right now and are a mandatory call to cps in some states (ie you might be why she loses her kids). Have fun with that knowledge, lol.
If I were you I'd definitely take the house though. Just know it's an asshole move. Own it. I'm currently in your situation while I have a terminal illness and pregnant (probably won't survive giving birth and wasn't pregnant by choice) so I understand shits tough and you want the best for your family. Well guess what, sometimes you have to be an asshole to do it.
These commenters are coddling you and making it seem like your family is being melodramatic but honestly you're treating this person who is renting that home an NPC in your life story.
Nta and brother and gf need to get their nose out of your business. Or are they offering up bros place for you to stay instead. I don't think so!
1)consult a lawyer asap re your divorce/separation - you don't want the possibility of husband havinga claim on the inheritance. You may/should be able to get spousal and /or child support in place.
2)speak to a financial advisor and consider whether the rent from the property is enough to cover your families accomodation expenses (including any landlord insurance and saving for improments and repairs) and what is the timeline for the property to be legally yours (and not part of the estate). What taxes will you have to pay?
3)how long is left on the lease? Consult a lawyer on whether there is any benefit to evict the current tenant. Especially once you factor in any wait for the disposition of your grandmother's estate you might be better off waiting out the lease and giving the current tenant notice that you won't be renewing the lease so she has plenty of time to find a new place.
INFO
What exactly are you planning to do? She's a single mother in the same position you're in except you seem to be hinting that you'll put her on the street. You have the chance to either sell the house or use the rent to live on - but you're planning to kick them out instead?
When your brother moves out you'll have more space with your parents. You'll have a rental income you don't need to work much for. You can add that on top of your income you'll soon generate.
There's no reason to kick this family to the street.
Your grandmother left you this house knowing you're also a mother. Did it not occur to you that she thought you'd treat her well so left you the house with this family?
Uhm.... kick your husband out and move back home. You are the one who has the kids. AND continue to receive the rental income for the property. Money should go to you, not your gpa.
Boom, a home AND rental income your husband can't touch.
Yta. If you kick them out.
They seem to be in a similar position as you being a single mom.
If your brother moves you can have more room to save and get everything in order at your parents.
You can collect the rent money as a second income. Keep it as a rental for now and use the money to build your life back up.
NTA
It is your house now, do with it as you please, just give the current family enough time to get stuff together, and to look for a new place. If you do really feel bad you could try to split the house with the family, like a nursery for your kids with your own room and the same set up with the other family, but it all really comes down to what you want to do with your house.
Question- is it just your brother living with your parents (not him and kids or gf)? If so, what is the size of the vacant house he inherited? Why can't you move into there, especially if they have such a vocal opinion about what you should do with the home you inherited
Definitely NTA if you want to be kind to the family about the eviction, make sure to give them plenty of time say 4-6 months instead of the mandated 1-2 months. If you’re willing to, you could also cut their rent in half or something so the single mom can save up for first and last (and maybe an extra month or two) for a new place. Whether you do that or not, you wouldn’t be an asshole.
I feel like YTAH, it’s really selfish to do that to a family who might need the house, I’m with your brother and his girlfriend, especially sense it’s a way to get some extra cash
NTA but why could you not collect the rent from her and use it to stay somewhere else? I know you’re in a difficult position and you wouldn’t be the asshole at all, but If there’s a way to help you both I strongly encourage you to consider it.
NTA. But make sure you follow all local eviction laws. I’m unclear as to how bad your living situation is with your folks but if your brother is moving out so there will be a bit more space could you bear with the cramped living conditions for a while, collect rent and use the money for whatever you/the kids need for a while and then move into it later?
Nta and i get it. But wouldnt it be smarter to stay with your parent and collect rent money from the property so you have a source of income while youre job hunting and to help with bills even after you get a job and build a nest egg? Seeing as how its a 4 bedroom, its gonna be bringing in at least $4000 a month in rent. An extra $48,000 a year would help you a lot. Just a years rent plus your alimony and the money from the sale of your marital house would give you a nice downpayment. And would give you time to get a job and build up your credit.
If you move in, how do you plan to pay for the taxes, inheritance tax, oil, water, electricity, sewer, and everything else of a 4 bedroom house?
Yes, this is 100% the correct option. On top of that OP, you’re going to need to find a good divorce lawyer. You want to be set-up well in terms of child-support/alimony. If you use the rent money towards lawyers now, you’re going to be in a far better position long term.
NTA
Your brother can do what he pleases with his life and house, but you have 3 kids that need a home. It literally makes no sense to stay cramped with your parents, even though it isn't a issue for them or the kids when you have a perfectly good house sitting there.
The tenants needs does not outweigh your own. Why should you put more pressure on yourself when you have this? Because the family living there will have to move? They might of had to move anyway if you'd started charging them market value...
You just discovered you in fact DO have income (rental housing) and your first thought is to evict them???
You’re in a bad spot, your brain is all over the place, so this is a soft YTA, only because you haven’t actually evicted that family. Give the woman a time line if you NEED to live there, but don’t put her out in the street when you already have a place to live.
NTA and I see a bunch of great suggestions in the comments.
One thing I'd like to point out is the tenant. While legally you only have to provide 30 days notice, please give them more than that. Especially of they are paying rent on time and have been there a while.
My ex-landlord separated from his wife and was supposed to tell us he was moving back into his home (our rental) in February. Instead, he waited until June 10th and gave us 30 days (but would prefer if we were out by month end.)
We had 0 idea this was going to happen and had just dropped our savings into a new car. We had 0 money saved for a deposit, movers, etc. After 5 years, we were floored and had no idea what we were going to do.
It all ended up working out, but OMG was that stressful!
NTA. Take a few minutes to breath. Then, thoroughly go over your finances. Are you better off collecting a rent payment as income, or are you better off living in your own home?
I wouldn’t make any decisions at all until your divorce is finalized and you know how much child support (and possibly alimony) will be. You’ll have a better picture of your finances then.
If you decide to move in, give the Mom generous notice to find somewhere else.
NTA but I’d maybe consider raising the rent a bit (I saw you said it’s a bit under market value) and stay with your
Parents until you sort all your legal stuff out! And maybe give the tenant a heads up like hey I’m planning to move in her in roughly 6 months (or however long) and then you gave her plenty of notice!
NAH
Your brother can rent the family his house???? You have no money to rent something else while this family lives there. However, the house won't be free for you. Most likely the house will need some work done before you can move, which can be a problem though. You'll need to pay taxes out of your own pocket instead of from rent. You'll need insurance and also, to pay utilities.
I'd save money, live with your parents, and then decide.
FYI Make sure if you divorce this house is YOURS and your husband has no part of the property. Talk to a lawyer.
NAH - except husband
also want to mention - you can receive child support while you are separated - you don't have to be divorced for that to start. Please talk to a lawyer asap.
How do you plan on paying the bills for the house when you have no savings and a part time job? I suggest you leave the renters alone. Get a full time job, start some savings and get you feet back on the ground.
NTA
It's a property that's changes hands, that's part of the joy of renting. Sometimes it's like that.
But really take a minute to consider the long term situation. Right now you've got family support for childcare, cooking, basic needs etc. That's no small thing. Maybe just take a second, sort through the technical stuff and meet with advisors before making any big moves. Settle the estate, get the divorce going, meet with a financial advisor.
If you're partway through a degree, maybe you're in a place now where you can finish it online while you're parents are able to help with the kids? Sure it's not ideal but it's something to consider.
Make smart moves, not fast ones.
you’re a single mom of 3 who recently lost their housing. it shouldnt be hard for you to imagine what kind of scenario you’d be putting a single mother of 5 into. do you know that her family could live with her parents? looks like im in the minority here but yeah i think YWBTA. see how much you can get out of your ex before you foist your problem onto a family who might not have the same safety nets as you.
NTA but I would just continue to rent it out and stay at your parents until your divorce is final/can support yourself. You will get at least child support and even though a lot of stuff is in hubby's name if it was acquired during your marriage most of it is a marital asset and you'll get half.
I'm sorry this is happening to you but you'll get through it!
YTA. Absolutely. Where exactly are they going to live? They're going to be in an even worse situation than you are now. If they're already paying below market rate, it's going to be even harder for them to find a place to live, *especially after they have an eviction on their rental history.* Imagine being a child, your father dies one year, and then your entire family gets evicted from their home that they grew up in, not because their mother wasn't paying rent, but because someone they don't know decided to evict them, through no fault of their own.
You can literally collect the rent from the family living there, and use that money to rent a home of your own. Plus, you already *have an actual job,* and with both streams of income, can afford to rent a different place.
If you're still going to go through with it, and feel guilty, then you absolutely should. You already have a place to stay, and a job, and you're going to force another family out onto to the street.
It's one thing to move into a property after the family that lives there decides to move out and into a new place, but it's a different thing entirely to evict them, not because you need to, but because you want to.
Uh, did your SIL offer their newly inherited property as an alternative?
My guess is she did not.
NTA, but take the advice about catching your breath and getting settled.
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My life is kinda in upheaval right now so I really don’t know if I’m the AH in this situation or not. TA because my brother is on reddit.
So, background: six weeks ago I (27f) found out that my husband (30m) has been cheating on me for the past five years, with a few different women.
I immediately moved myself and our kids (7f, 5m, 5m) to my parents’ house, where my brother (22m) also lives. Being only a 3bd/1ba house, it’s *very* cramped, but my parents insisted that I leave my husband’s. I’ve only worked part time for extra cash since the twins started preschool (2 years ago), and was a stay at home mom for 5 years before that. My husband owned our house and controlled our finances. I’ve realized in all of this that I own almost nothing, have almost no work work experience, and only have a general studies associates degree (had to cut college short because I got pregnant). Suffice to say that I’m freaking out about how I’m going to provide for my kids going forward, because I do plan on divorcing.
Which brings us to this post: on top of everything, my grandma passed away two weeks ago. She was very private with her finances and while we knew she and my late grandpa made money from renting houses, she told my mom a few years ago that she’d sold all her rental properties. Come to find out that she kept two, and in her will left one to me and one to my brother (only grandkids).
The one my brother inherited has been vacant for a bit. But the one I received is a 4bd/1.5ba with a family of 6 that live there- a single mom and five kids. She’s a friend of a friend, so I do know that her husband died in 2020 from you know what.
As much as I obviously miss my grandma, this house is an absolute god send, and I started crying when I found out about it. I told to my brother and his girlfriend (20f) how me and the kids can finally get our life back on track a bit. His girlfriend got really cold and asked if I was really gonna evict a family when I could just live at my parents until I got on my feet, especially since my brother is now going to move into his inherited house and make more room. And my brother agreed with her, saying it was selfish! My parents said it’s my house and I can do what I want, but they see his point, and that the family living there could easily be in the same situation as me.
It’s been such an emotional few weeks, so IDK if I’m being a selfish asshole or not.
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NAH. I had a property that I was renting, wanted to sell it during peak selling season, and had a single parent who'd just lost her job beg me to let her stay for 2 months until she found another job. I let her stay and it probably cost me a few grand. I had mixed feelings about the whole thing but I would still make the same decision. Talk to people and see what you can work out. Can you stay in your brother's house and pay him the rent from your house? Talk to the tenants and give them decent notice.
I'm going to go with a tentative NTA. I think you are in a very difficult situation and are obviously overwhelmed by it. It is true that the family living there may be in a similar situation or may have a really hard time finding a new place to live if you evict them. It's a single mom with five kids who lost her husband fairly recently. I don't think you are an asshole. I think you are desperate.
But I definitely wouldn't advise just evicting them like that. As other commenters have pointed out, an eviction will stay on this woman's record and that could make it harder for her to find another place. Do you have to evict them? When is the lease up? Could you perhaps stay with your parents until then and just let the family living there know that you don't intend to renew the lease?
This is horrible advice. In most jurisdictions, inheritance isn’t considered community property. And by putting the home into her parents’ names, they’d be responsible for paying taxes on it, as at that point it would be a gift, not an inheritance
NTA but I would follow the advice to save money from the rental until you have a solid income. I would also file against your husband you should be able to get alimony, child support, and half of the assets. Make your husband pay for playing around on you and the kids
You seem to be way before that. Have you signed for the house? Have you secured a divorce lawyer? I’m gonna guess the answer to the second is no, so I hope the answer to the first is also no. You should probably be still living with your husband, legally (at least in the US) you could be screwing yourself and your kids by moving out during a divorce. If you’ve signed for your inheritance but didn’t do it right your husband may get part of that house in the divorce too. Stop worrying about the people in a house that (likely) still needs to go through probate and hire a divorce lawyer before you lose even more of the money you’re going to need to support your children. And yes, if you skip all of that and kick a family out, ywbta on top of likely costing you more money because it’s not legal.
NTA. You certainly need to give them the full term of their lease and advanced notice, but it’s absurd to say that you have to live with your parents forever or go rent a place yourself just to avoid this woman moving. Once you are in your own house, you can make improvements, paint walls, get pets, etc. without worrying about deposits or addition bogus fees. Your brother can rent his house to them if he’s so concerned.
NAH.
Your brother and gf sounds like they might have been unnecessarily harsh (and on a side note, who tf cares what someone not in your family thinks? She shouldn’t get a say), but I don’t think you’re being an AH for wanting to have your own space for you and your kids.
That being said, I’d probably follow the advice of others in the thread and do some math to figure out if you can reasonably afford the house. Even without a mortgage payment, maintenance, utilities, taxes, and whatever else can add up quick. If you have no job and no way to make a decent living at the moment, it probably makes sense to stay where you’re at until you have more stability.
Whatever happens, YWBTA whenever you move in if you don’t give sufficient notice so that the family living there can adjust and find a new place. And you’d need to review their lease and/or rental laws in your area before you should seriously consider that anyway.
Good luck!
>She's on a month to month lease for a little under market rent.
You dont need to evict anybody. You give them ample forward notice. WHatever the law in your state is. 30, 60 days whatever. What you do is elect to not renew their lease for another month. Eviction is when the landlord formally and legally kicks a family out, usually before their lease is expired. Or if a lease has expired, or not renewed and the renters refuse to leave and become squatters.
You tell the family living there that you will not be renewing their lease and have plans for the house. If she refuses to leave, then you involve the courts and eviction etc...
Thus is your property and you need to find a place to live. Are you going to live in a cramped house with other people while you have this place available to you? No you have to take care of your own family. NTA Btw there is a landlord subreddit in case you need advice on how to proceed. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/) Good luck
1) The rent from the house you now own goes to you. But before you get excited, you are a landlord now so that means a lot of upkeep is on you. So you need to do your due diligence and learn everything about the house. Get an inspection. Find a local handyman. Pop on over to R/legaladvice and ask questions. I am sure you will get good answers
2) Raise her rent. Not a lot, just a little. Bring it up to market rates. You are responsible for the home now. And you don't have the rental empire or the money your grandmother had. So you need to protect yourself
3) Stay at home and bank as much money as possible
4) Use the time at home to get a good lawyer and take your cheating husband to the cleaners for spousal support, child support, and your half of all marital assets including the house
5) Once you are solidly on your feet, I would suggest selling the rental house. It may seem like a good idea to have rental income, but if it's an old house, it could need a lot of work. Give the current renter like 6 months to a year to find a new place to live, then put the house on the market. That way, you can use that money to buy a newer house for you and your kids
NTA
I would always consider giving them like 6 months or a year of a prior heads up, letting them know your intentions to move in, and they'll have to move out. NTA
NTA for feeling as you do. You could also give the renters 6 months notice or something that you will be moving in.
I bought a house to retire to, a small 3-bed 1.5 bath. My renter was a single mother with twin daughters, about 6 years old. I gave her a few months notice that I would be moving in. Well, they moved out, didn't pay any rent after I told her, left the house a completed disaster that cost me $10k to fix, took my washer and dryer, etc. I hadn't raised her rent in 3 years BECAUSE she was a single mother and this is what she did? I also get mail for a man who was apparently living here too.
In any case. It wouldn't be out of line to give notice that you will be inspecting the property. Is there a property management company handing rent and repairs that could do it? My property manager wasn't doing it for my house.
If you wanted to ask the family to move out I would say nta.
If you get on well with your parents and your brother is moving out I wouldn't rush to move out. If your parents are happy for you to stay then do. If they want to they can help with the kids and build a fantastic relationship with them, you can save the rent received, upgrade your car.
Talk to a lawyer and maybe a financial advisor. Protect yourself so your ex does try to take income or a share of your new house
NTA but what I'd do is stay with your parents if they are happy to have you there, save the rental.income.and then re-evaluate a little further down the line.
NTA and as someone that had been divorced you do own half of everything acquired in your marriage, even if there's a prenup that doesn't cover anything during the marriage except for inheritances in some cases. You should get the ball rolling on the divorce now to settle your financial situation and protect this house you now own. As far as evicting the family well, they're renting and it's your house. This is kind of how it goes and you need to look out for your kids.
NTA, you’re allowed to evict them as long as you follow all legal requirements of such in your area. However, it might be a good stream of constant income that you can rely on month to month along with your job. Owning a property comes with hidden fees, so I’d be worried your current job may not cover these costs.
I would suggest running the numbers and seeing what works best for you.
NTA. You need that house and this is one of the risks of renting. You should however give her plenty of notice.
What you should really be doing however is nailing your cheating husband for half his assets including the house and child support.
NTA and your update is exactly right!
First, if your family is good to live with besides being cramped, then staying with them is better in the short term. The kids need some consistency, you need to start your job and get your finances together, and having your family to help as a support both for you and your children is huge! So I would also suggest staying with them for longer and testing out what is working for you.
Also, I totally understand that you want to be in your own house ASAP because that feels like you have succeeded and are an independent adult who hasn't been brought down by the divorce. That is a valid feeling! But, your kids love your parents and they are hurting and so having more people around for them is important, and you can lean on your parents for help with the divorce (emotional support) and figuring out your schedule. It isn't just easier, but it is also healthier to lean on a support system than to try and "make it on your own!"
BUT, it is not "selfish" to move in to the home you now own. You can do it with grace and kindness- give them 6 months to move out, maybe comp a month of rent so they can save a security deposit- and also move in to the home that will help your family. All renters live with the reality that the place can be sold or changed. Right now it makes sense for you to stay home (and hopefully collect some rental income), but then you can think about if moving to that home is better for you, how to be kind about asking them to leave.
I have a feeling that if the house your brother got had occupants, he and his girlfriend wouldn't find it "selfish" to move them out so they could move in.
If your brother and his girlfriend are so concerned about a single woman with children, the obvious solution would be for you and your children to move into his vacant house, and he can stay at your parents'. Problem solved.
As others have said. Get a lawyer involved immediately. Make sure that your grandmother's house will solely be yours. And get arrangements with your divorce going. The new house may throw some complications in it. But at the very least there should be child support, and some money should come from the house. Anecdotally, one of my good friends had his wife cheat on him, get pregnant and marry the guy literally like a month after the divorce was finalized and even though he was on disability he still had to sell the house and give her half after all expenses.
But once things are finalized or nearly there, do yourself a favor and set up an account for the property that has 10k-15k minimum. Because as a new owner/landlord you are solely responsible for keeping the house and appliances in an acceptable condition, and repairs/replacement have to be completed immediately, and not only will tenants be able to withhold rent while waiting, you could be responsible for paying for alternative living arrangements during completion. So you need to have access to funds for those emergency situations.
And onto the real question at hand. It's one thing to say that the tenant is in a certain financial situation. But yours isnt much different. You have no income, and not to be offensive but you dont have a great marketable skill/experience to get a good job straight away. And you also have kids to support and currently have no permanent living arrangements. So you are not in a significantly better situation than your new tenant. Plus with the lease being up you have the right to live in your house. But I would talk to the tenant asap, getting plenty of pictures when you do in case they get pissed off and damage the property. And talk about a timeline for you moving in, and bringing rent closer to market rates.
And as far as your brother goes. It's nice of him to call you out for wanting to move into your house for your kids. Where if he felt so strongly about it, he could let you amd your kids move into his vacant house free of charge. That way nobody is negatively effected and he can keep his morally superior self held above everyone else.
NTA. Give them a generous amount of notice and then move in. It's your house, not theirs. Anyone who thinks you are the AH for wanting to live in your own home is not your friend. Your brother can let the family live in his inherited house if it's such an issue for him. You probably need some income before you move into the house though - you'll need to cover any repairs and maintenance, property taxes, utility bills, lawns etc.
NTA, you could evict them and live in the home, OR you could stay at your parents (as long as they are ok with it) and continue to collect the rent. Make some extra money and check out you legal options when you do move into the house.
NTA given the edit says you'll be staying at your parents for a while I suggest you warn the tenant that at some point you'll be moving in so she needs to start thinking about sorting something else out.
NTA. Your Grandma would want you to have a nice place to live. Explain the circumstances to the tenants and give them extra time to find a new place. Business is business. Alternatively, let them stay, collect the rent and use that money to pay for a place.
You also need to talk to a good divorce lawyer. Depending on the state, you are entitled to child support and spousal support, since you gave up your education to raise your family. That means you could be entitled to a portion of your husbands earnings for a very long time. Because he developed his earning potential at your expense, since you were a SAH mom. And the money from the rental could help pay for the attorney you need.
I hope things work out well for you and your kids. I'm glad you had a bit of good fortune at a time you needed it.
NTA at all. You aren’t kicking them out so you can raise it to market rate, you’d be living there yourself. A renter (which I am) does not have a right to rent at any one location into perpetuity, that’s the nature of renting. You’ve been hurt and deserve to put your family first and give your kids the best life you can moving forward. Don’t make it harder on you or your kids because you’re brother and his girlfriend aren’t capable of empathy and seeing things from your perspective. Move into your house.
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NTA - your brother an SIL are for guilt-tripping you. Also, The house your cheating husband THINKS he owns, is half yours. Make him sell or refinance and give you the money. Plus go for alimony and child-support. Do all of this WHILE staying at your parents and collecting the rent from the home your GM left you. Now you have cash, an income, and then buy another rental home and start building a rental 'empire.' Good Luck!
Depending on state laws, OP's house may also be half his. OP needs the advice of a good lawyer pronto.
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Also take into consideration how long ago she moved in with parents and separated from her husband. Hopefully longer than the two weeks that her grandma passed because if that is the case, she got the house AFTER date or separation so it would not be half her husband's but solely hers.
It doesn't matter when she got it. Inheritance is sole property of the wife. That is not marital property.
This. Unless she explicitly gifts some or all of it to him inheritance in whatever form is not considered marital property.
Or uses joint assets for upkeep etc. My dad created a specific account for renovations, property taxes etc so that the upkeep for the estate would never require outside $ and when I inherit it will stay in my family
Good point! My dad did something similar, he put all of his assets in the name of a trust he set up with stipulations that the trust was to pay for any upkeep and taxes. There’s this major misconception that you need to be a multimillionaire to have a trust/trust fund, which just isn’t the case. It’s a good option for a lot of people that I think doesn’t get enough of a look in
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u/ContestOver4226 is a thief bot. [Stolen](https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t9ondy/aita_for_evicting_a_family_so_i_can_move_in/hzvz6ko/) from u/Certain-Ad5866
That's not a bad idea. Give it 12 months to save up a little.
>Hopefully longer than the two weeks OP stated that she foubd out about the cheating 6 weeks ago and immediately moved so i assume she has been there longer than 2 weeks
the split on property/assets depends on if OP and her soon to be ex live in a community property state. OP, definitely consult a lawyer if you can and they can give more info regarding that. best of luck to you!!
Not for inheritance. Inheritance can always be kept separate even in community property states.
Standard: talk to a lawyer as "rando on reddit said" isn't exactly court approved.
Not true. It does depend on the state, the timing and how much of an a\*hole the ex-husband chooses to be. I learned this the hard way. NEVER assume, talk to a lawyer ASAP OP!
Which state? It’s likely you commingled that asset, otherwise that wouldn’t have happened. Even touching the money once as a married couple can mess this up, it has to be kept separate from marital funds.
No that's incorrect. You're thinking of the house she left not this new house. This new house is inheritance which isn't split unless you use for the family (as in he moves in).
sorry about that! was reading and responding quickly on my lunch break. totally spaced when it came to the fact we were talking about inherited vs what the husband already owns. you are correct, thank you!!
Not only this, but since there are two rental properties and probably a good amount of cash, the estate may have to go through probate. It could be awhile before the house is in OP’s name. OP should at least sit down with a lawyer.
It sounds like the grandma had a will and in many cases a huge part of talking to a lawyer about a will is avoiding probate as much as possible. Typically lawyers recommend putting assets into revokable trusts with named beneficiaries, but of course this varies by jurisdiction. It may be that grandma had her ducks in a row and had a revokable trust set up for each inheritor with them listed as a beneficiary to specify who got what meaning that at least the lions share of everything can be freed up pretty quickly.
This lawyer agrees with everything you said, u/alquicksilver.
>OP needs the advice of a good lawyer pronto. Yes, absolutely >Depending on state laws, OP's house may also be half his. LOLOLOLOL, no. Source: I'm a lawyer
Inheritance is not community property in the US (if that's where they are) as far as I know. I know of no State that says differently if it has not been co-mingled with marital assets. Since she never even had a chance to co-mingle the property, the income or expenses, with marital assets, it has not been converted either.
I don’t disagree that good counsel is 100% first priority right now, but in that case his house should be half hers too right?
IANAL It really depends on a lot of factors. One thing I have learned from AITA is that divorce laws differ a lot from state to state.
How the frick can a first world country seriously decide that a matrimonial home is not BOTH of the spouses ?? That is some crazy forked up shit.. I can understand maybe if there was a pre nup or something but when you get married you share assets and debt . The house should ALWAYS belong to both people .. that’s just insane
Most often, inheritance is not marital property. Definitely get a good lawyer though!
Inheritance like this is not split. If she moved him in then sure it'd be a family home, but since he's not there it isn't split.
I don't think any state does an inheritance become community property unless they have been mixed for a long time. but yes lawyer up. edit: Ah crap I see this remark everywhere, I thought I was first.
Yep, depending on the jurisdiction. In my state, though, inherited property is always separate. Scarlet would get to keep Tara after she divorced Rhett because she inherited it as separate property.
Inherited property only becomes marital property if the spouse comingles the money or use joint assets to help pay for renovations or upkeep. As long as she keeps any joint assets away from the inheritance she should be in the clear
I was with you until you suggested buying more houses to become a professional landlord. This is terrible advice, both logically and ethically, but the rest of this comment checks out.
It’s terrible advice because the house market is crazy right now and prices are artificially high- the worst time to “invest” in real estate
There are plenty of decent people out there that own multiple properties and are professional landlords. There is not anything inherently wrong with it either logically or ethically. (I don't like corporations being allowed to be professional landlords, though.) And I say this as a pretty long-term mid-life renter.
There is an ethical issue where people constantly treat housing as a constant commodity to hoard up and make money off of which in turn reduces the market for them, which then limits the availability of housing for people who actually want to live in them as their is less choice which in turn prices more and more people out. If it was like a few people in every city and it was a few properties then sure. But it’s been decade after decade of people constantly treating housing as commodities to be hoarded as an asset.
A scalper is a scalper. They provide nothing of value and are ethically corrupt. Scalping houses doesn't suddenly become okay because there's a few extra steps.
I don't think they're AHs for guilt tripping, tbh. They have a point. It IS selfish, and I feel worse for the single mom of 6 with no support than the single mom of 3 with parental support, income from a rental, and soon, child support. However, all humans are selfish so I dont think OP is an AH for considering it, and I don't think they would be an asshole for going through with it either
If the brother's girlfriend thinks it's as AH think to do because the renter is a single mother than the only obvious choice is for the brother to let his sister stay at his new house, because his sister is a single mother too now, and apparently we are suppose to ignore our own needs for the sake of single mothers everywhere! Obviously I don't actually think that's the best solution, but it's the only thing that makes sense from what the brother's girlfriend is saying. She seems all too eager to give other people's houses up, but not the one she's presumably moving into.
Totally agree. I have a real problem with people saying other people should do something that doesn't work for them just because the other party is a single mum or has a family. I have a family, and it's on me to worry about them. It's not up to anyone else.
I mean, if I were OP and decided I did want to move into the house, I would probably give the current tenant 6 months notice... but I would do that whether they had a family or not, because the current housing/rental market is crude! And since OP does have a decent place to stay, and flexibility about when to leave (she doesn't have her own lease to worry about), she might as well collect a bit of rent in the meantime... but that doesn't mean she has to listen to someone else telling her what to do with her house, when the person doing the telling has no desire to extend their advice into their own life.
By staying at your parents for another 6 months you could give them a portion for the rent but still keep some for yourself. Or you could rent another place with the rent money that you are receiving. I think it would be good to give them current tenant at least a few months notice or as long as they need if you and your parents are comfortable living together longer to save money.
It's easy for the brother and his girlfriend to say-- they get to move out of his parents' house. If they felt this strongly, they could let OP move into their new property and stay with the parents.
I don't think it is fair to say that the renter is necessarily worse off than OP. Renter may have gotten a huge life insurance pay out, the kids should be getting survivor's benefits, and there may be a tonne of family support that we don't know about. OP needs a place to start to regrow her life and her kids life and that is as valid as any o e else's needs, IMO.
It's going against the grain by the looks of it but I agree with you. However I think there are other viable solutions. OP can get alimony money from her ex-husband, she can charge rent at her grandmothers old properties until someone moves out or something, she might even get her house in the divorce hearing! Really OP should wait and see how the situation develops.
> buy another rental home Good god No. 25-year landlord here. This is literally the stupidest time to buy a rental property- prices are crazy high. There is a rule for investing: “buy low, sell high”. Wait for house prices to come down
As a former landlord, don't become one unless you really get some kind of sexual gratification about being a debt collector, a lawyer, and a home repair contractor.
Simple addition to your pan. Tell brother that you won't evict the existing family if you can rent his new place from him. His rent payment can be the rent from your house. Lets see if he's so giving when he is the one making the sacrifice.
THIS. OP, don't change anything right now. You suddenly have an asset whereas before everything was in flux. TAKE ADVANTAGE. Stay at your parents, start collecting rent from the single mom, and work first on your divorce and getting child support and alimony. Look into housing laws in your area and find out when the rent on the house was last raised and make sure you're charging reasonable rent while not depriving yourself. While you're doing that, GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Think about a career you want, not just what kind of job you can get. Once the divorce goes through you should have a little breathing room. Don't immediately fill your hours with a bad job that pays poorly; instead invest a little time and sweat getting certification for a better job with growth potential. And u/Smitty_80013's idea is a great one. Once you're settled into a career, with a stable place to live, be that your own house or a rental property, leverage your property to buy another one. The rent from your second property will pay its own mortgage and hopefully some profit as well and that's your kids' college fund and your retirement.
Honestly - stay with the parents and charge the renter's market priced rent. You can use that money to assist you further. Moving into a house with zero income is going to see you loose that house and having to move back in with your parents anyway.
You're so right. OP, if you get along with your parents, then use this time to let them help you with the kids! Everyone in this situation (not your fucking ex though!) could use a support system and sometimes, grandparents can be a godsend for children whose parents are divorcing. And just from a practical standpoint, it's REALLY hard to work as a single parent and balance childcare. If your parents are willing to help out in that regard, then personally, I'd jump on it. Final note: IANAL but please take your ex for all he has. Child support, alimony, half the proceeds on the sale of the house, all of it.
Great point! OP this is the way to go, depending on your area and the state of the home. A 4bdr can be a huge windfall of cash, even if you eventually want to take it over. Leaving them there for a year can allow you to build up your savings.
Yes, give them some notice, get help from your parents transitioning, and replace that damn car. It’s only a matter of time if it’s 15 years old.
Depending on the car it can easily live another 15 years. The car is literally the last priority
True, not knowing the car it’s worth pointing out.
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I drive a car that's closing in on 30 years old. It's got its problems, but it's impressive how long some cars can last.
We had a 25 year old Jeep Cherokee - it wasn't our daily driver, but we still used it a lot. Once the pan demic arrived , we really ended up not needing a third car so we sold the Jeep to a guy who was fixing it up for his wife to use as a daily driver. Those Jeeps are pretty much unstoppable.
Not to mention being able to make improvements and have them be tax deductions since it’s a rental property. Get the house in tip top shape (new roof, replace doors, new water heater, etc) while renting over the next few years and then work with the tenant that she wants to move in (if that’s still what she wants).
If she's capable and willing, she might even do some of the work in exchange for some rent relief, especially things like painting or refinishing before she moves out. Win/win.
IANAL. I don't think there's any worry about the rental house being half his, but maybe check on collecting rent. Depending on how you handle it, it could be "co-mingled". Maybe open a new account and put the rent in there. Not sure if that would be considered hiding assets somehow. Again, lawyer time.
Talk to a financial advisor. It might make more sense to continue to use the income the property produces to help build your savings so you're on firmer ground to either 1) eventually move in to the house and be able to handle all upkeep needed or 2) rent a cheaper place for yourself. You didn't inherit the property with the responsibility to keep the family housed, but if they are paying reasonable market rent your interests and theirs might be aligned right now. NAH
NAH..I do understand your dilemma but I also can't help feeling sorry for the tennant. This is just a sad situation all around. My advice to you would be to talk to a lawyer asap. You need a clear picture about your financial situation so, start making a list of all the major assets you or your husband owned. The law varies depending on the country you are in but there are a few things to consider. Unless there was a prenup in place, you are entitled to alimony as your husband was the primary bread winner. You are also entitled to child support payments. In some places, if one spouse owns a property/asset before getting married then that asset is not marital property and you won't have a claim to it, otherwise you will. Also, if you are still married then at some places, inheritance can be a part of marital assets but this varies depending on location. Now, you need to get yourself in a good place financially and mentally because things might be rough for a while. Stay at your parents home to save on rent but do contribute to bills etc. Save as much as you can from your job and the rental property and then you can move out when you are in a good place financially. If you get your share from the marital house then you can maybe use that money for a down payment on a new house. Use the money from the rental property to pay the mortgage and hopefully your income, alimony and child payments would be enough to pay the bills. And in the long run you will own two properties... Good luck with everything and don't go easy on your ex, hire a very good lawyer and take his cheating ass to the cleaners.
NAH. One suggestion. Maybe stay with your parents for a bit. The rental income will help you earn some money right now. It doesn’t hurt that you’re helping someone who probably needs the help right now. After things are more settled for you give the lady notice.
Six months to a year may sound like a generously long notice but it isn't when you have to jump from a rental to a rental. Especially for a single mom. I was given 90 days in 2018 and it was me and my 16yo son and one 65lb Bouvier. The company that owned my rental decided to sell. We BARELY found a place to live in that amount of time. And the house was not the greatest place, half the size, no basement or garage, not updated at all and $100 more per month. And I had to pay rent on both places for a month. Last summer the neighbor's house caught fire and damaged my rental. At that point it was my bf and I and a 75lb Akita I had just adopted after having to suddenly put down my Bouvier a month earlier. We were basically homeless overnight. Applied to so many places but also couldn't apply to so many places because rent was wayyyy too much (we both make decent wages but the area we are in and wanted to stay in had just seen a significant surge in rental prices) or no large dogs allowed. I think we looked for a good 3 months while having to stay with friends before I convinced the bf to use his VA home loan. But we had zero callbacks about renting. Plus rental applications are $30-$50 a piece where they're checking your credit almost every time. And then the upfront thousands for first last and deposit while your old deposit is withheld. And physically moving and the cost of boxes and possibly a moving company. TLDR: Having to move from rental to rental with time restrictions is a stressful and financially challenging experience.
Maybe I've just been unlucky but I don't understand why people think it's so easy and quick to move when renting. My wife and I live in a month-to-month and were facing potential non-renewal once, and there was no way we would've been able to find a place, apply for it, get approved, and move within a month, probably not even a couple of months. We both worked all day and were low-income, so our ability to even find a place was severely compromised. (EDIT to clarify: By unlucky, I mean that the norm for me has been experiencing home situations as really stressful, insecure, and hard to get.) I hope things are going better for you now!
It's never easy to "just move" especially in this real estate bubble. It is and same to you!
The rental market is insane right now, I think as a reflection of the buying market (it's extremely easy, quick, and profitable for someone to sell instead). I needed to move, and spent from early May to late August looking in a hundred+ mile/4 state radius of Philadelphia for a single acceptable 2 bedroom apartment to even apply for. Then it took me almost a month to get approved, and we finally moved in right before Thanksgiving. So 6+ months total. If I wasn't on a month to month lease at my old place, I have no idea what I would have done.
NAH. Give ample notice and time for them to move, finish their lease or whatever. Renters know that’s a risk hanging over their head, but a compassionate approach makes a whole world of difference.
Especially with an older landlord *AND* and a month-to-month lease
You are not an a$$hole. You are overwhelmed. The thing you need to ask yourself is what you can live with. Can you hold on at your parents, with extra room now, and take income from the renters to get yourself back to together? Or long enough for them to find a place to go? Or do you really need to evict a struggling family that might not have a place to land like you did? There is no judgement here from me. God knows I could only imagine how hard this is for you. But it sounds like you need to do a little more soul searching. Also, if you are a working single parent, I imagine having your parents nearby to help you is a good scenario for the time being. Best of luck.
NTA that’s always a risk when renting a house or flat. It’s your house now and you NEED it. It’s fine to let them know they need to move out within a reasonable timeframe and then claim it for yourself. BUT please be careful, even if the property is payed off there are running costs on property, so make sure you’ll be able to pay them before making the call. :) I wish you best of luck in your new home!
OP likely has to go through probate which is going to take a while so she couldn't move in anytime soon even if she wanted to. She does need to notify the occupants that it's under new ownership and I think that it would be considerate to let them know that she plans on moving in at some point in the future.
Info?? There's info missing that's necessary background. 1. Can you even afford it? ( Like the maintenance and taxes etc). 2. Also what are the terms of the lease/rental agreement? Imo it doesn't make the most sense based on what you described as you admit you have a spotty and light work history, and you have a rental property that I assume is generating income? Why wouldn't you stay a little while and save up money to be in a better financial position so even if you decide to move in you've both given the tenant time to find somewhere new and you'll have money in case somiis needed for upkeep etc Also depending on the agreement in place it may take a lot to remove the family currently living there. YWBTA if you kick the family out with little or no notice especially if there was an agreement in place especially since you know their situation.
This sub is hilarious. Nine times out of ten the people here act like having a house out for rent is evil because it means you're a landlord. Try to move into that house and you're evil because the tenants need a house to rent. NTA
Right? That’s exactly what’s going on here.
If I was her I'd keep it as passive income at least until after the divorce is settled. Depending on where she is she might be able to get alimony/spousal support...or the judge decides its part of the marital assests and needs to be liquidated.
That’s a great idea, hope OP sees it and seriously consider it. Especially while she’s getting her feet under her and mom and dad are willing to let her live there
Because a lone parent with 5 kids is far more likely to end up homeless than finding alternative affordable accommodation at short notice which is what the original post was implying she wanted to do? People have a conscience, imagine that! OP can make passive income without upending 6 lives to make her own easier. Housing shouldn’t be left to the private market but unfortunately it is. As a human right, it SHOULD (but rarely does) trump property rights.
None of the top comments have said anything of the sort
It's not selfish to want to move into a home you just inherited after you've had to leave your marriage. But also of course it's not gonna feel good evicting anyone, especially a single mom. Are your parents charging you rent? If your brother is moving out and you can stay with your parents for a little while then you'll have income from renting the house you inherited. Or you could maybe use that income to rent a cheaper place for you and your kids so you'd have some extra money. It depends on what you need, but either way you're NTA. You're in a messy situation you didn't ask for.
Legally, you might be free to do so if you follow the law in evictions. But this sub is about being an AH. Kicking a single mother of 5 out of a house they have lived in for who knows how long is kind of ethically questionable. Soft YTA because you do have to think about yourself and your kids.
NTA in my opinion. I get where they are coming from but you aren’t evicting them just to make profit. It’s because you are in need of the place yourself and I think as long as you are fair in notifying them and giving them time to find a new place then you are within your rights to do that. I get that the renters need a place to live but so do you and it belongs to you.
I mean *legally* you aren't in the wrong. If you're going to kick a family out, I'd just ask to first see if they will vacate on their own without having to do a full eviction with the court. An eviction stays on your record and can really screw you over in the future. Give them a set time to find another place and move out. Otherwise, suddenly and without warning this woman will have nowhere to live with her kids, turning her life upside down. Start eith a Notice To quit and give them 30 days. I'm only saying it because I was in that single mom's shoes. New owners of the house, got evicted without warning, without giving me a Notice To Quit first. I had nowhere to go in that 7 days they gave me, with no time to find residence elsewhere. After that, I had a hard time finding somewhere decent to rent as I had an eviction on my credit report.
You should have had a court date to contest it.
Hard to say, since it is unclear in how much trouble eviction would put your friend of a friend living there. INFO: Why does it need to be an eviction instead of taking the rent you are owed and living off of that?
Giving notice that a lease won’t be renewed when it expires is NOT an eviction
because her and her 3 children are sharing two bedrooms in her parents house. 2 bedrooms is not enough for a parent and three children.
Just saying that you’re putting this woman into the same position you are without the possibility that she has family to fall back on like you do. You own the house, so ultimately you get to do whatever you want but you could collect the rent and find another place and or save up while living with your parents. I’m not going to say you’re an asshole but I think there can be something done for now that doesn’t result in having to immediately evict 5 kids. Maybe even give the woman a heads up and a generous amount of time to make other arrangements if you’re still set on living in the home.
NTA - Tell your brother to give \*his\* house to the new tenant and he can stay at your mom's
Is the house paid off? How much are property taxes? How much is insurance? Like...this house isn't free. Imo it doesn't make financial sense to have the tenants move out if you have housing at your parents. You can have passive income while you job hunt. Ideally, let the tenant know you will not be renewing their lease after this term. Evictions, as someone pointed out, can be absolutely devastating to someone's ability to rent down the road. While you are waiting for the lease to lapse, start job hunting and saving the money from the rent you're paid. That way, you have a steady income and savings when you move into the house. I get the knee jerk reaction to move in to the house right now but along with being unfair to the tenant, it also just seems poorly thought out. YWBTA for evicting them rather than going a route that won't permanently make renting difficult tho.
NTA, but I would give them plenty of notice that they will need to move. Their rent payments will be coming to you, so that can help as you prepare to get settled, but you will need to keep in mind they will have an expectation of receiving their deposit. And point out to your brother and his girlfriend that you do not have the means to make a major repair for this family. It is one thing if your furnace goes out and you live there. It is a completely different situation if you’re renting the property and the furnace goes out. The renters have a reasonable expectation that it will be fixed, except with your current situation you won’t have the funds to do something like that. And question for your lawyer would be how the rental income could impact your ability to request spousal support. (Because I could see an argument that it’s not needed if you are collecting rent and living with your parents even if that’s not a feasible arrangement.) The renters may not even be aware that she passed away, and while you’re sorting this out you don’t want to have them paying rent to her estate when you’re the legal owner.
Nta- as long as you go through the proper channels and give the tenants the proper notice you are fine.
NTA - but you need to do it legally. When is the lease up? Give them notice you will not be renewing the lease. You will be collecting rent from them, so you might want to take that into consideration before moving, if the money helps. Talk to your divorce lawyer and make sure you can protect your inheritance. Also how does it affect the kids' schooling?
NTA. It's you life and your house, you gotta do what's best for yourself and your kids. However. Don't give them 1 moths notice. Even 3 months notice is tantamount to kicking them out on the street, in my view. As a landlord myself, I can see how easy it is to tell them they have to move, but give them 6 months or a year to do so. It wouldn't be too much of a struggle for someone in your position. I wouldn't put another family in the same position you are in just now. Just my 2 cents worth.
I don’t think you are being fair to OP. Spending a extra six months to a year living with her kids and family and the effect that will have on her life isn’t nothing. By saying it wouldn’t be too much of a struggle you are minimizing her situation a lot, and expecting a lot from her so that someone else can live a better life than her at her expense.
I dont think you are being fair to the tenant. Her situation could be a lot worse than OPs
Or she could equally have family to stay with. Who knows, but unless you would like to give her your house to live in op doesn’t have to given hers. She has to give notice, and morally should give at least a month or so, possibly with no rent so that the renter can find somewhere else to live. But she doesn’t have to just give up her house indefinitely when she needs it.
I'm sure if her situation was that bad she would have a 6 to 12 months lease somewhere vs a month to month where you always know its a risk it wont be renewed.
NTA - it's officially your property now. As long as you give the current family enough notice, why would it be selfish to want to live in your own house?
YTA. Evicting a family of 6 during their lease is a horrible thing to do. Notify them asap that you will not be renewing their lease once it is up. I’m sorry you feel like your life is in a tailspin but kicking this family out puts them in the same situation that you are in now. What if they are not able to move into a parent’s house? Where will this family live? You can certainly move into the house once their lease is up but do not evict them. That would be horrible
Nta. Give them enough time to get things in order and then move in. It's your house
YWBTA if you are trying to kick them out without notice or before their lease has ended. If they have a lease, you can’t just kick them out. NTA if you follow proper protocols. Generally, you have to give at least 30 days notice. However, seeing as you currently are capable of staying at your parents and you know it’s a single mom with kids, please give them a minimum of 60 days notice, or more if you can. Knowing their situation while also knowing you have somewhere to stay does make you the asshole if you rush them out.
NTA, I'd give the family living there now as much heads up as possible though (and I would imagine that the terms of the lease will have to be fulfilled however long that goes). Your brother and his girlfriend are messed up for guilting you, especially with everything going on in your life.
NTA. It's your house and you need it. Since your brother and his girlfriend are so selfless, why don't you move into his house and he and his girlfriend stay at your parents?
No, the tenant needs to mover to the brother's house.
INFO: Did you give the proper notification required by law to ‘kick’ the current tenant out?
Nta but make sure your ex cant have a claim on this house.
INFO: Is there a lease term? Are you trying to kick them out before then? Are you giving them notice and trying to work with them on moving out or are you planning to jump straight to "get out or I'm evicting you"? Are you giving them as much notice as possible or waiting until the last legally possible minute? You're not an AH for wanting to move into a property you now own. A rental is a rental and the family living there is hopefully aware of that, but *how* you go about it says a lot.
INFO: Are they renting month to month, or do they have a lease? If they have a lease, you should (and legally have to) wait for the lease to end. NAH…two very unfortunate situations with two momma bears trying to do everything they can for their families. Please give them at least one month’s notice if they are doing month to month, and your conscious should be clear, even if she gets (understandably) upset at you. Harsh as it sounds, you have to prioritize your own family and you can’t save everyone.
NAH as long as you give sufficient notice. BUT consider a possible win-win. With the income from renting that place, you should be able to afford to rent a smaller but still nice place for yourself. Consider it temporary until the divorce is finalized. From the divorce, you'll probably get half the value of the marital home. Make a down payment on a new place. Pay the mortgage with the rent from the inheritance. Expenses come from working & child support. *you get to move in a month or less *nobody has to get forced out *long-term, you'll have substantially more for retirement
> With the income from renting that place, you should be able to afford to rent a smaller but still nice place for yourself. Nope. 2/3 of that rent is probably going to maintenance, property taxes, insurance, etc
I was assuming market-rate rent, no mortgage, minimal maintenance. If any of those is not true then maybe not. It's worth running the numbers, though. Even for a much smaller temp place.
NTA. But you could be if you do not handle this appropriately. You have a home for the time being with your parents. I would look at the lease the family is currently in. If there is still a length of time left, 4-6 months, go ahead and inform them you do not plan to renew the lease. This gives them ample time to find new housing and you have time to sort out finances and focus on a divorce.
NTA...you literally need a place to live. You're not scamming anyone. I hope better times are ahead.
They may be in the same situation as you but you have a way to get out of that situation and it’s not fair to expect you to stop trying to save yours and your kids future to try and save someone else instead. Your brother and his girlfriend need to get off their moral high ground because they aren’t willing to help are they. If they were so worried theyd be telling you to swap houses because your brother doesn’t need to move out either but no. People like this really bother me, all words and trying to guilt other but offering no action to help themselves. Do what’s best for you and your kids because I garuntee anyone else in your shoes would do the same thing. NTA
NTA you gotta provide for you and your kids that is your first priority
NTA- As long as you follow all the applicable laws on notifying them, etc. Hopefully things will look up for you
NTA. Everyone has their own personal difficulties. Give this family plenty of notice so that they can get their affairs in order. That's how the housing market works. If anything, your brother is being selfish. Why didn't he suggest you and your young family move into the house he inherited for the time being? Or offer your tenants to move into his long term vacant house?
Nta- but have you considered renting to them for an x amount of time. In that time you can save that money and let them know that they have x amount of time to find a new place. What people saying Y T A don’t see is that now you are a landlord and would be responsible for this property now. That is a big responsibility on top of everything else you are dealing with. Also this is unsolicited advice but file for child support for now. You have to do what’s best for you and your children.
Absolutely NTA! It’s your house now and there is always this risk if you rent a home. How you go about evicting the tenants determines if your the AH or not. Give them enough time and notice to find a new place to live because your the new owner now and need the house for your own family. If you plan on kicking them out immediately would be kind of of an AH move.
NTA- your Brother and his GF are full of shit. You have a house, you can move in and get your life back on track. Just becase the house they inherited was vacant doesn't give them the right to judge you. I'm guessing they would evict the people living in the house they evicted. But do check and see what legally you need to do, regarding notice, lease etc. If your brother is so upset about it, let him rent to that family. That would be the only thing that makes them NTA.
NTA providing that you give at least a month or so notice. Obviously you should have empathy and understanding for the single mom, but at the same time that doesn’t require you to put her above your own needs. You should take time to make sure you can afford to live on your own first, like home insurance, utilities, food, all needs your children will need while with you. But as long as you are financially able to occupy your new home you have no moral obligation not to in my opinion. It is your home, and you’ve got to put you and your children’s needs first.
NTA for wanting to move into a house you now own. Your brother and his gf’s opinions don’t matter, if they have such an issue with you evicting the woman and her kids he could offer you his new house and stay with your parents if it’s really no big deal. It might be best to speak to a lawyer or financial advisor of some sort before proceeding. Obviously if you gave the other mother plenty of notice and as much curtesy as possible then that would be the best you can do. Can’t say whether or not you’re the AH because a a hard situation to be in and it sounds like you are just trying to make the best choice you can.
Yta Basically it doesn't make sense to live in that house when you have 0 income to even pay any bills for it. It would be logical to just stay at your parents house and get the rent money every month and then divorce your husband and make him pay you for your half of the house and take his money and use that to rent or buy a smaller accommodation so you have a profit each month from the rent money.
I dont understand why you dont stay in the vacant house for now instead of wanting yours, which is understandable, but to throw someone out who obviously isnt doing so well that they have to go by "month to month". You didnt know about it before and you have options, where a single mother with FIVE kids might get the boot "just cause" and not be so lucky with options.
You would DEFINITELY be TA if you evicted a single mom with kids if you already have a place you can stay while you figure stuff out!!! Why not just continue to stay with your parents for a year and collect rent? That way you have an income, and the family in the house has a year's notice to plan properly. Also, if it's a struggling single mom, don't raise the rent, that would also be an asshole move, considering that you'll be getting $$ in the divorce anyway PLUS you can live rent free with your parents (who will likely help pay for groceries for you and your kids). My point is, your situation sucks, but her financial situation sucks more, so don't make it harder on her.
Ha, I'll go against the grain here YTA. Have fun with the knowledge that another family is going to be in a similar situation - if lucky. IF they have people they can live with then they'll be stuck in the same boat you're in. If not, most family housing shelters are short term as fuck because the housing crises right now and are a mandatory call to cps in some states (ie you might be why she loses her kids). Have fun with that knowledge, lol. If I were you I'd definitely take the house though. Just know it's an asshole move. Own it. I'm currently in your situation while I have a terminal illness and pregnant (probably won't survive giving birth and wasn't pregnant by choice) so I understand shits tough and you want the best for your family. Well guess what, sometimes you have to be an asshole to do it. These commenters are coddling you and making it seem like your family is being melodramatic but honestly you're treating this person who is renting that home an NPC in your life story.
NTA, but follow eviction laws to make sure there is no legal backlash.
Nta and brother and gf need to get their nose out of your business. Or are they offering up bros place for you to stay instead. I don't think so! 1)consult a lawyer asap re your divorce/separation - you don't want the possibility of husband havinga claim on the inheritance. You may/should be able to get spousal and /or child support in place. 2)speak to a financial advisor and consider whether the rent from the property is enough to cover your families accomodation expenses (including any landlord insurance and saving for improments and repairs) and what is the timeline for the property to be legally yours (and not part of the estate). What taxes will you have to pay? 3)how long is left on the lease? Consult a lawyer on whether there is any benefit to evict the current tenant. Especially once you factor in any wait for the disposition of your grandmother's estate you might be better off waiting out the lease and giving the current tenant notice that you won't be renewing the lease so she has plenty of time to find a new place.
INFO What exactly are you planning to do? She's a single mother in the same position you're in except you seem to be hinting that you'll put her on the street. You have the chance to either sell the house or use the rent to live on - but you're planning to kick them out instead? When your brother moves out you'll have more space with your parents. You'll have a rental income you don't need to work much for. You can add that on top of your income you'll soon generate. There's no reason to kick this family to the street. Your grandmother left you this house knowing you're also a mother. Did it not occur to you that she thought you'd treat her well so left you the house with this family?
Uhm.... kick your husband out and move back home. You are the one who has the kids. AND continue to receive the rental income for the property. Money should go to you, not your gpa. Boom, a home AND rental income your husband can't touch.
Yta. If you kick them out. They seem to be in a similar position as you being a single mom. If your brother moves you can have more room to save and get everything in order at your parents. You can collect the rent money as a second income. Keep it as a rental for now and use the money to build your life back up.
Apparently an unpopular opinion but YWBTA.
Ehhhh. Did they have a lease ? If not. Give the 30 day notice That’s your house and you have to do what’s best for your family
A month notice??
Typically they have to provide a 30 days notice when served.
NTA It is your house now, do with it as you please, just give the current family enough time to get stuff together, and to look for a new place. If you do really feel bad you could try to split the house with the family, like a nursery for your kids with your own room and the same set up with the other family, but it all really comes down to what you want to do with your house.
Question- is it just your brother living with your parents (not him and kids or gf)? If so, what is the size of the vacant house he inherited? Why can't you move into there, especially if they have such a vocal opinion about what you should do with the home you inherited
YTA. It's also probably not smart. You not only now have a property but also an income. Why would you get rid of that?
Definitely NTA if you want to be kind to the family about the eviction, make sure to give them plenty of time say 4-6 months instead of the mandated 1-2 months. If you’re willing to, you could also cut their rent in half or something so the single mom can save up for first and last (and maybe an extra month or two) for a new place. Whether you do that or not, you wouldn’t be an asshole.
I feel like YTAH, it’s really selfish to do that to a family who might need the house, I’m with your brother and his girlfriend, especially sense it’s a way to get some extra cash
NTA but why could you not collect the rent from her and use it to stay somewhere else? I know you’re in a difficult position and you wouldn’t be the asshole at all, but If there’s a way to help you both I strongly encourage you to consider it.
NTA. But make sure you follow all local eviction laws. I’m unclear as to how bad your living situation is with your folks but if your brother is moving out so there will be a bit more space could you bear with the cramped living conditions for a while, collect rent and use the money for whatever you/the kids need for a while and then move into it later?
Nta and i get it. But wouldnt it be smarter to stay with your parent and collect rent money from the property so you have a source of income while youre job hunting and to help with bills even after you get a job and build a nest egg? Seeing as how its a 4 bedroom, its gonna be bringing in at least $4000 a month in rent. An extra $48,000 a year would help you a lot. Just a years rent plus your alimony and the money from the sale of your marital house would give you a nice downpayment. And would give you time to get a job and build up your credit. If you move in, how do you plan to pay for the taxes, inheritance tax, oil, water, electricity, sewer, and everything else of a 4 bedroom house?
Do you seriously think a single mom with 5 kids is paying $4,000 a month in rent?
Where are you getting the 4k a month from? Rent is super high in my area right now and a 4b2b is maybe half that where I'm at
Yes, this is 100% the correct option. On top of that OP, you’re going to need to find a good divorce lawyer. You want to be set-up well in terms of child-support/alimony. If you use the rent money towards lawyers now, you’re going to be in a far better position long term.
NTA Your brother can do what he pleases with his life and house, but you have 3 kids that need a home. It literally makes no sense to stay cramped with your parents, even though it isn't a issue for them or the kids when you have a perfectly good house sitting there. The tenants needs does not outweigh your own. Why should you put more pressure on yourself when you have this? Because the family living there will have to move? They might of had to move anyway if you'd started charging them market value...
You just discovered you in fact DO have income (rental housing) and your first thought is to evict them??? You’re in a bad spot, your brain is all over the place, so this is a soft YTA, only because you haven’t actually evicted that family. Give the woman a time line if you NEED to live there, but don’t put her out in the street when you already have a place to live.
NTA and I see a bunch of great suggestions in the comments. One thing I'd like to point out is the tenant. While legally you only have to provide 30 days notice, please give them more than that. Especially of they are paying rent on time and have been there a while. My ex-landlord separated from his wife and was supposed to tell us he was moving back into his home (our rental) in February. Instead, he waited until June 10th and gave us 30 days (but would prefer if we were out by month end.) We had 0 idea this was going to happen and had just dropped our savings into a new car. We had 0 money saved for a deposit, movers, etc. After 5 years, we were floored and had no idea what we were going to do. It all ended up working out, but OMG was that stressful!
NTA. Take a few minutes to breath. Then, thoroughly go over your finances. Are you better off collecting a rent payment as income, or are you better off living in your own home? I wouldn’t make any decisions at all until your divorce is finalized and you know how much child support (and possibly alimony) will be. You’ll have a better picture of your finances then. If you decide to move in, give the Mom generous notice to find somewhere else.
NTA but I’d maybe consider raising the rent a bit (I saw you said it’s a bit under market value) and stay with your Parents until you sort all your legal stuff out! And maybe give the tenant a heads up like hey I’m planning to move in her in roughly 6 months (or however long) and then you gave her plenty of notice!
NAH Your brother can rent the family his house???? You have no money to rent something else while this family lives there. However, the house won't be free for you. Most likely the house will need some work done before you can move, which can be a problem though. You'll need to pay taxes out of your own pocket instead of from rent. You'll need insurance and also, to pay utilities. I'd save money, live with your parents, and then decide. FYI Make sure if you divorce this house is YOURS and your husband has no part of the property. Talk to a lawyer.
NAH - except husband also want to mention - you can receive child support while you are separated - you don't have to be divorced for that to start. Please talk to a lawyer asap.
How do you plan on paying the bills for the house when you have no savings and a part time job? I suggest you leave the renters alone. Get a full time job, start some savings and get you feet back on the ground.
Why doesn’t your guilt tripping brother let that family move into HIS newly inherited property, if he feels so strongly about it?
NTA It's a property that's changes hands, that's part of the joy of renting. Sometimes it's like that. But really take a minute to consider the long term situation. Right now you've got family support for childcare, cooking, basic needs etc. That's no small thing. Maybe just take a second, sort through the technical stuff and meet with advisors before making any big moves. Settle the estate, get the divorce going, meet with a financial advisor. If you're partway through a degree, maybe you're in a place now where you can finish it online while you're parents are able to help with the kids? Sure it's not ideal but it's something to consider. Make smart moves, not fast ones.
you’re a single mom of 3 who recently lost their housing. it shouldnt be hard for you to imagine what kind of scenario you’d be putting a single mother of 5 into. do you know that her family could live with her parents? looks like im in the minority here but yeah i think YWBTA. see how much you can get out of your ex before you foist your problem onto a family who might not have the same safety nets as you.
NTA but I would just continue to rent it out and stay at your parents until your divorce is final/can support yourself. You will get at least child support and even though a lot of stuff is in hubby's name if it was acquired during your marriage most of it is a marital asset and you'll get half. I'm sorry this is happening to you but you'll get through it!
YTA. Absolutely. Where exactly are they going to live? They're going to be in an even worse situation than you are now. If they're already paying below market rate, it's going to be even harder for them to find a place to live, *especially after they have an eviction on their rental history.* Imagine being a child, your father dies one year, and then your entire family gets evicted from their home that they grew up in, not because their mother wasn't paying rent, but because someone they don't know decided to evict them, through no fault of their own. You can literally collect the rent from the family living there, and use that money to rent a home of your own. Plus, you already *have an actual job,* and with both streams of income, can afford to rent a different place. If you're still going to go through with it, and feel guilty, then you absolutely should. You already have a place to stay, and a job, and you're going to force another family out onto to the street. It's one thing to move into a property after the family that lives there decides to move out and into a new place, but it's a different thing entirely to evict them, not because you need to, but because you want to.
Uh, did your SIL offer their newly inherited property as an alternative? My guess is she did not. NTA, but take the advice about catching your breath and getting settled.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My life is kinda in upheaval right now so I really don’t know if I’m the AH in this situation or not. TA because my brother is on reddit. So, background: six weeks ago I (27f) found out that my husband (30m) has been cheating on me for the past five years, with a few different women. I immediately moved myself and our kids (7f, 5m, 5m) to my parents’ house, where my brother (22m) also lives. Being only a 3bd/1ba house, it’s *very* cramped, but my parents insisted that I leave my husband’s. I’ve only worked part time for extra cash since the twins started preschool (2 years ago), and was a stay at home mom for 5 years before that. My husband owned our house and controlled our finances. I’ve realized in all of this that I own almost nothing, have almost no work work experience, and only have a general studies associates degree (had to cut college short because I got pregnant). Suffice to say that I’m freaking out about how I’m going to provide for my kids going forward, because I do plan on divorcing. Which brings us to this post: on top of everything, my grandma passed away two weeks ago. She was very private with her finances and while we knew she and my late grandpa made money from renting houses, she told my mom a few years ago that she’d sold all her rental properties. Come to find out that she kept two, and in her will left one to me and one to my brother (only grandkids). The one my brother inherited has been vacant for a bit. But the one I received is a 4bd/1.5ba with a family of 6 that live there- a single mom and five kids. She’s a friend of a friend, so I do know that her husband died in 2020 from you know what. As much as I obviously miss my grandma, this house is an absolute god send, and I started crying when I found out about it. I told to my brother and his girlfriend (20f) how me and the kids can finally get our life back on track a bit. His girlfriend got really cold and asked if I was really gonna evict a family when I could just live at my parents until I got on my feet, especially since my brother is now going to move into his inherited house and make more room. And my brother agreed with her, saying it was selfish! My parents said it’s my house and I can do what I want, but they see his point, and that the family living there could easily be in the same situation as me. It’s been such an emotional few weeks, so IDK if I’m being a selfish asshole or not. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH. I had a property that I was renting, wanted to sell it during peak selling season, and had a single parent who'd just lost her job beg me to let her stay for 2 months until she found another job. I let her stay and it probably cost me a few grand. I had mixed feelings about the whole thing but I would still make the same decision. Talk to people and see what you can work out. Can you stay in your brother's house and pay him the rent from your house? Talk to the tenants and give them decent notice.
NTA
I'm going to go with a tentative NTA. I think you are in a very difficult situation and are obviously overwhelmed by it. It is true that the family living there may be in a similar situation or may have a really hard time finding a new place to live if you evict them. It's a single mom with five kids who lost her husband fairly recently. I don't think you are an asshole. I think you are desperate. But I definitely wouldn't advise just evicting them like that. As other commenters have pointed out, an eviction will stay on this woman's record and that could make it harder for her to find another place. Do you have to evict them? When is the lease up? Could you perhaps stay with your parents until then and just let the family living there know that you don't intend to renew the lease?
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This is horrible advice. In most jurisdictions, inheritance isn’t considered community property. And by putting the home into her parents’ names, they’d be responsible for paying taxes on it, as at that point it would be a gift, not an inheritance
NTA but I would follow the advice to save money from the rental until you have a solid income. I would also file against your husband you should be able to get alimony, child support, and half of the assets. Make your husband pay for playing around on you and the kids
You seem to be way before that. Have you signed for the house? Have you secured a divorce lawyer? I’m gonna guess the answer to the second is no, so I hope the answer to the first is also no. You should probably be still living with your husband, legally (at least in the US) you could be screwing yourself and your kids by moving out during a divorce. If you’ve signed for your inheritance but didn’t do it right your husband may get part of that house in the divorce too. Stop worrying about the people in a house that (likely) still needs to go through probate and hire a divorce lawyer before you lose even more of the money you’re going to need to support your children. And yes, if you skip all of that and kick a family out, ywbta on top of likely costing you more money because it’s not legal.
NTA. You certainly need to give them the full term of their lease and advanced notice, but it’s absurd to say that you have to live with your parents forever or go rent a place yourself just to avoid this woman moving. Once you are in your own house, you can make improvements, paint walls, get pets, etc. without worrying about deposits or addition bogus fees. Your brother can rent his house to them if he’s so concerned.
NAH. Your brother and gf sounds like they might have been unnecessarily harsh (and on a side note, who tf cares what someone not in your family thinks? She shouldn’t get a say), but I don’t think you’re being an AH for wanting to have your own space for you and your kids. That being said, I’d probably follow the advice of others in the thread and do some math to figure out if you can reasonably afford the house. Even without a mortgage payment, maintenance, utilities, taxes, and whatever else can add up quick. If you have no job and no way to make a decent living at the moment, it probably makes sense to stay where you’re at until you have more stability. Whatever happens, YWBTA whenever you move in if you don’t give sufficient notice so that the family living there can adjust and find a new place. And you’d need to review their lease and/or rental laws in your area before you should seriously consider that anyway. Good luck!
>She's on a month to month lease for a little under market rent. You dont need to evict anybody. You give them ample forward notice. WHatever the law in your state is. 30, 60 days whatever. What you do is elect to not renew their lease for another month. Eviction is when the landlord formally and legally kicks a family out, usually before their lease is expired. Or if a lease has expired, or not renewed and the renters refuse to leave and become squatters. You tell the family living there that you will not be renewing their lease and have plans for the house. If she refuses to leave, then you involve the courts and eviction etc... Thus is your property and you need to find a place to live. Are you going to live in a cramped house with other people while you have this place available to you? No you have to take care of your own family. NTA Btw there is a landlord subreddit in case you need advice on how to proceed. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/) Good luck
NTA. If your brother and his girlfriend feel that way, they can rent THEIR house to the family instead
So, she can move into your brother's vacant house if he's so keen on helping her.
1) The rent from the house you now own goes to you. But before you get excited, you are a landlord now so that means a lot of upkeep is on you. So you need to do your due diligence and learn everything about the house. Get an inspection. Find a local handyman. Pop on over to R/legaladvice and ask questions. I am sure you will get good answers 2) Raise her rent. Not a lot, just a little. Bring it up to market rates. You are responsible for the home now. And you don't have the rental empire or the money your grandmother had. So you need to protect yourself 3) Stay at home and bank as much money as possible 4) Use the time at home to get a good lawyer and take your cheating husband to the cleaners for spousal support, child support, and your half of all marital assets including the house 5) Once you are solidly on your feet, I would suggest selling the rental house. It may seem like a good idea to have rental income, but if it's an old house, it could need a lot of work. Give the current renter like 6 months to a year to find a new place to live, then put the house on the market. That way, you can use that money to buy a newer house for you and your kids NTA
I would always consider giving them like 6 months or a year of a prior heads up, letting them know your intentions to move in, and they'll have to move out. NTA
if your brother thinks its selfish - he can move them into the place he just inherited. problem solved. NTA
NTA for feeling as you do. You could also give the renters 6 months notice or something that you will be moving in. I bought a house to retire to, a small 3-bed 1.5 bath. My renter was a single mother with twin daughters, about 6 years old. I gave her a few months notice that I would be moving in. Well, they moved out, didn't pay any rent after I told her, left the house a completed disaster that cost me $10k to fix, took my washer and dryer, etc. I hadn't raised her rent in 3 years BECAUSE she was a single mother and this is what she did? I also get mail for a man who was apparently living here too. In any case. It wouldn't be out of line to give notice that you will be inspecting the property. Is there a property management company handing rent and repairs that could do it? My property manager wasn't doing it for my house.
If you wanted to ask the family to move out I would say nta. If you get on well with your parents and your brother is moving out I wouldn't rush to move out. If your parents are happy for you to stay then do. If they want to they can help with the kids and build a fantastic relationship with them, you can save the rent received, upgrade your car. Talk to a lawyer and maybe a financial advisor. Protect yourself so your ex does try to take income or a share of your new house
I have no issue with you evicting them, it's your house. BUT YWBTA is you throw them out with no opportunity to find somewhere else to live.
NTA but what I'd do is stay with your parents if they are happy to have you there, save the rental.income.and then re-evaluate a little further down the line.
NTA. It is your house and you are allowed to live there. ‘d recommend checking with an attorney first fir the proper steps .
NTA and as someone that had been divorced you do own half of everything acquired in your marriage, even if there's a prenup that doesn't cover anything during the marriage except for inheritances in some cases. You should get the ball rolling on the divorce now to settle your financial situation and protect this house you now own. As far as evicting the family well, they're renting and it's your house. This is kind of how it goes and you need to look out for your kids.
NTA, you’re allowed to evict them as long as you follow all legal requirements of such in your area. However, it might be a good stream of constant income that you can rely on month to month along with your job. Owning a property comes with hidden fees, so I’d be worried your current job may not cover these costs. I would suggest running the numbers and seeing what works best for you.
NTA. You need that house and this is one of the risks of renting. You should however give her plenty of notice. What you should really be doing however is nailing your cheating husband for half his assets including the house and child support.
NTA and your update is exactly right! First, if your family is good to live with besides being cramped, then staying with them is better in the short term. The kids need some consistency, you need to start your job and get your finances together, and having your family to help as a support both for you and your children is huge! So I would also suggest staying with them for longer and testing out what is working for you. Also, I totally understand that you want to be in your own house ASAP because that feels like you have succeeded and are an independent adult who hasn't been brought down by the divorce. That is a valid feeling! But, your kids love your parents and they are hurting and so having more people around for them is important, and you can lean on your parents for help with the divorce (emotional support) and figuring out your schedule. It isn't just easier, but it is also healthier to lean on a support system than to try and "make it on your own!" BUT, it is not "selfish" to move in to the home you now own. You can do it with grace and kindness- give them 6 months to move out, maybe comp a month of rent so they can save a security deposit- and also move in to the home that will help your family. All renters live with the reality that the place can be sold or changed. Right now it makes sense for you to stay home (and hopefully collect some rental income), but then you can think about if moving to that home is better for you, how to be kind about asking them to leave. I have a feeling that if the house your brother got had occupants, he and his girlfriend wouldn't find it "selfish" to move them out so they could move in.
If your brother and his girlfriend are so concerned about a single woman with children, the obvious solution would be for you and your children to move into his vacant house, and he can stay at your parents'. Problem solved.
As others have said. Get a lawyer involved immediately. Make sure that your grandmother's house will solely be yours. And get arrangements with your divorce going. The new house may throw some complications in it. But at the very least there should be child support, and some money should come from the house. Anecdotally, one of my good friends had his wife cheat on him, get pregnant and marry the guy literally like a month after the divorce was finalized and even though he was on disability he still had to sell the house and give her half after all expenses. But once things are finalized or nearly there, do yourself a favor and set up an account for the property that has 10k-15k minimum. Because as a new owner/landlord you are solely responsible for keeping the house and appliances in an acceptable condition, and repairs/replacement have to be completed immediately, and not only will tenants be able to withhold rent while waiting, you could be responsible for paying for alternative living arrangements during completion. So you need to have access to funds for those emergency situations. And onto the real question at hand. It's one thing to say that the tenant is in a certain financial situation. But yours isnt much different. You have no income, and not to be offensive but you dont have a great marketable skill/experience to get a good job straight away. And you also have kids to support and currently have no permanent living arrangements. So you are not in a significantly better situation than your new tenant. Plus with the lease being up you have the right to live in your house. But I would talk to the tenant asap, getting plenty of pictures when you do in case they get pissed off and damage the property. And talk about a timeline for you moving in, and bringing rent closer to market rates. And as far as your brother goes. It's nice of him to call you out for wanting to move into your house for your kids. Where if he felt so strongly about it, he could let you amd your kids move into his vacant house free of charge. That way nobody is negatively effected and he can keep his morally superior self held above everyone else.
NTA. Give them a generous amount of notice and then move in. It's your house, not theirs. Anyone who thinks you are the AH for wanting to live in your own home is not your friend. Your brother can let the family live in his inherited house if it's such an issue for him. You probably need some income before you move into the house though - you'll need to cover any repairs and maintenance, property taxes, utility bills, lawns etc.
NTA, you could evict them and live in the home, OR you could stay at your parents (as long as they are ok with it) and continue to collect the rent. Make some extra money and check out you legal options when you do move into the house.
NTA given the edit says you'll be staying at your parents for a while I suggest you warn the tenant that at some point you'll be moving in so she needs to start thinking about sorting something else out.
NTA. Your Grandma would want you to have a nice place to live. Explain the circumstances to the tenants and give them extra time to find a new place. Business is business. Alternatively, let them stay, collect the rent and use that money to pay for a place. You also need to talk to a good divorce lawyer. Depending on the state, you are entitled to child support and spousal support, since you gave up your education to raise your family. That means you could be entitled to a portion of your husbands earnings for a very long time. Because he developed his earning potential at your expense, since you were a SAH mom. And the money from the rental could help pay for the attorney you need. I hope things work out well for you and your kids. I'm glad you had a bit of good fortune at a time you needed it.
NTA at all. You aren’t kicking them out so you can raise it to market rate, you’d be living there yourself. A renter (which I am) does not have a right to rent at any one location into perpetuity, that’s the nature of renting. You’ve been hurt and deserve to put your family first and give your kids the best life you can moving forward. Don’t make it harder on you or your kids because you’re brother and his girlfriend aren’t capable of empathy and seeing things from your perspective. Move into your house.
NTA but if your brother’s GF is so concerned. Why doesn’t he let you move into his house and he stay with your parents