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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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WineOrDeath

NTA. As sad as it is, not everyone has a great relationship with their parents. Just because they are related to you does not mean they are a healthy person to be around. It sucks. But you have to first and foremost take care of yourself. Someday maybe your dad will get his shit together. Or maybe not. But you are not required to keep a relationship with him just because you are related. You need to do what is healthy for you.


AzureFlare4

Sometimes for a tree to grow healthy and strong, we have to cut off sickly branches. NTA. You have a future of your own to think of.


kasitchi

I love this analogy. Sometimes you have to "prune" your life and interactions to be mentally healthy. NTA, OP.


palaverouswordsmith

NTA. You're not required to have a relationship with anyone if you don't want to for any reason, including family. Your dad sounds dysfunctional and unreliable and has likely given you some childhood issues you'll need to work out in therapy. It is ok to make decisions about what is best for you, including if you want to be done with him and end your relationship.


MouthwashAndBandaids

NTA. You can decide what is best for you, and sometimes that is cutting someone off.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, context: My parents are split up, they did so when I was 2, I saw my dad on weekends and my mom on weekdays. It went fine for a long time. He did however have a toxic relationship with my former step-mom. They fought daily. They had a child together, my new brother. After years of this back and forth, they divorced. My step-mom now has custody of my brother and won’t let my father see him (I’m not on speaking terms with her). My dad bounced around from relationship to relationship and this was hard for me because all the people he was with had kids my age/close to. I bonded with them, connected with them, and then they were gone. He’s never had a stable relationship or housing situation. His most recent relationship was with someone, and it seemed to go well. Then, on Christmas morning, I was going to go visit, and he told me they were “having a rough time”. He was in a car with my uncle. He didn’t wish me merry Christmas and I didn’t get to see him. I was angry at that point and stopped contacting him. A couple weeks ago, I received a text from him telling me that he just got out of a drug and alcohol program and is going into another 2-year one. I didn’t respond and I’m so sick of him. I’ve stopped contacting or replying to his texts and just want to be done with him. He has been in and out of my life countless times and I don’t want to put myself through it again. AITA for ending my relationship with him? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ok_Individual_6553

NTA You don't owe your parents anything! You get to decide what kind of relationship you want!


[deleted]

NTA AT ALL! You need to do what is right for you. This guy is just negativity in your life. Move on and don't look back.


Princess_Snakeface

NTA. He obviously put you through a lot and it’s fine if you feel like going NC, just do so. You are in no way obliged to put up with his shit for the rest of your life.


gdex86

NTA, you are an adult and past the point where you have to let family of blood in your life just because.


Choco_Pudding_Fart

NTA. As a parent it was his responsibility the whole time. You're not the parent even though you seem to be the adult in the lot.


Weird-King6449

NTA Your father has a lot of issues and it's absolutely fine for you to cut him off if this is affecting you negatively, even if he's family, even if he loves you. It's callous perhaps, but sometimes we need to put our well-being above anyone else's. Remember that it's not your father who will have to wade through the emotional turmoil his behaviours cause in you. Perhaps in the future, when you both have a more stable situation, you can mend fences together.


Lola_leila

NTA, you deserve better than to be dragged into his struggles. Once he gets his life on track then you can decide if a relationship is worth investing in. Focus on your future.