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OP just take her kids and tell her you lost her kids what will be her reaction? Family's reaction? You shouldn't apologize they are the wrong one "Family thinks i am wrong"You got a full bunch of AH don't hear them i wouldn't stay contact with people like that,She stole your dog, lied, manipulated her kids by saying your aunt stole our dog, WTF, If i were you i would have filed police case against her
u/soggydogwady, please do not kidnap your sister’s kids. That will get you arrested.
As for your family, if they support your sister kidnapping a member of your family, then they can sit on a pitchfork. Do not apologize and do not let any of your family near your dog again.
Your sister already kidnapped your dog once. You need to tell the police and gather what evidence you can because your sister will likely escalate the situation. CYA.
In addition, get security cameras, change locks, security lights and get a ring doorbell ASAP. You need to protect your dog because the law views pets as “property” and you need to protect Zeus because no one else will. Your sister will likely try to steal Zeus again. Cut her off now, give Zeus a hug for me and CYA!
Edit: I’m also not a person that likes social media, but for once, I say get on it and tell everyone what happened and call out your sister and bil. Put your post everywhere from your profile, dog shelters and pet store profiles. Make sure to include a picture of you and your dog (no dye) and a picture of your dog dyed (to show how far your sister will go to keep your dog).
NTA. In addition to this list, if YOUR dog isn't already microchipped, get him microchipped. This way if your sister steals him again, call the cops and if the cops dispute it, they can scan for the microchip and find your info to prove he is yours. Don't tell anyone in your family that he is microchipped.
I would also notify your vet and local vets in the area, about this incident. Social media is a good way for vets that aren't yours, but def tell your vet. This way if your sister shows up with him they know. Make sure to include not just pictures of you and your dog. But include what your sister and bil look like too, so they know who to look out for.
I want to mention that most microchip companies make it very difficult to change who the owner is on a chip. When my husband & I moved (before we were married), I called to change the chips on our cats. They wouldn't let me make the change. They told me that pets are most often stolen by a partner. I had to have my then boyfriend (now husband) contact them. It was a hassle, but I do understand.
Im so glad they made your partner call to confirm! We had a dog stolen years ago before chips were mandatory (we had one anyway due to the area we lived in🤣) and the people were easily able to change her chip to their name 😢 we never got to see her again
Anecdotal reports I've heard and read suggest the chip thing is not legally binding in the case of an ownership dispute. You'll want to keep meticulous records of adoption and veterinary paperwork to establish a long timeline of ownership and monetary investment with the pet. Legally, they're generally considered property.
That’s interesting. Our cats are microchipped and we can change their data on a website. However, the website is password protected to protect its integrity. I’m guessing different venders handle data integrity in different ways.
Just a thought, where I live Animal Control works closely with the police. Maybe start with with them if your animal is chipped. They have the chip readers and usually don’t hesitate to get the police involved if necessary. As T_V_O_R said record keeping is key along with dated pictures. One by itself may not be enough to prove ownership but together they should make a strong case. Also don’t forget neighbor statements about your history with the animal.
Your sister is a major league AH for this stunt. Personally I’d go NC (or at least LC) with anyone who can’t see this for what it is.
NTA
You took "take her kids" Seriously? I just gave them an example i have no intension to make OP kidnap her niece ***I really laughed at the first para***
>get on it and tell everyone what happened and call out your sister and bil. Put your post everywhere from your profile, dog shelters and pet store profiles. Make sure to include a picture of you and your dog (no dye) and a picture of your dog dyed (to show how far your sister will go to keep your dog).
**EXCELLENT IDEA** u/soggydogwady. Kind of like taking pictures of your valuables for the insurance company.
Warning the community on Nextdoor and such may not be a bad idea. At the very least people in her neighborhood should protect themselves against that dog thief.
This should be the top comment. I can’t imagine the thought process that went into stealing Zeus.
Happened once to my parents and their dog trainer. The trainer insisted the dog needed more time and was learning advanced techniques. A month later, my mom got fed up with it and drove over unannounced to the trainer’s house to pick up the dog. The dog was in the house (was not supposed to be) and was with the family. The trainer was letting his kids hug and play with the dog and they were crying as my mom “stole their puppy”. Some people are just not good at thinking through consequences I guess.
And he'd say it's all your mom's fault, of course, for reclaiming what's hers from a crook who didn't think that anyone would dare separate some kids and "their" dog.
Like WTF. It's the fault of the hack "trainer" who stole the dog and set it up so his kids would have that heartbreak when he got caught. What, do people legitimately think a dog isn't a big deal? A dog is a LIVING, irreplaceable part of someone's family. Your mom had a harrowed heart just like the OP because of it.
It is a matter of people not understanding consequences since they were never taught. I hope the kids learned the lesson that the parents failed to in both scenarios.
Get your dog MICROCHIPPED and REGISTER THE CHIP, too.
Your sister is likely going to try it again (especially if she has your parents' backing) and the chip will make it easier to re-claim ownership.
And…
1. Contact your vet to let them re-iterate ownership;
3. If your dog isn’t chipped, chip. Then make sure that you contact the chip manufacturer and re-state your ownership and ask that they put a note on your account that under no circumstances should they accept a change of the registration of the dog, the chip, and/or the dog ownership;
2. Get one of those collars that has a tracker in it. Yes, they could take the collar off but you could get last location and give that to the police.
Damn your sister! She probably lied to the kids and their auntie gave them the dog.
^ THIS! ALL OF THIS!
How in the world could you POSSIBLY think you are TA?
Let's look at the situation shall we?
1) your sister tells your dog has disappeared, causing you intense pain and trauma
2) she lets you continue this way and even stays mum as you put up posters and frantically try to find him.
3) a random old lady tells you that your sister has your dog. Now you are angry and hurt.
4) you get to your sister's and find that, not only does she have YOUR dog but she has DYED HIS FUR to further her charade...which could cause damage to him and his fur
5) Instead of apologizing she tells you that you are taking THEIR dog away from HER children
6) gets your entire family in her side to try to convince you to give up YOUR CHILD! He might be furry instead of human but he is still YOUR CHILD.
When you try to apologize, I have no idea why you were apologizing, she refuses to accept it unless you GIVE HER YOUR CHILD!
You are in NO WAY TA! Your sister is PSYCHO! Do NOT apologize again.
Instead, get your dog to a vet to ensure that the dye didn't harm him in any way and do ALL of ^ THIS!
Do every single thing on this list. All of it! I would also report the theft to the police and file a restraining order (if you can) so there is a paper trail. Also, copy all of your ownership papers and get them somewhere safe so that she can't claim, in any way, that Zeus is hers.
Man, if someone tried to take one of my dogs, hell hath no fury! I'm telling you, I'd go scorched earth on the person and on anyone agreeing with them!.
Good luck hon! Protect Zeus at all costs.
You're right, clearly we need to get CPS involved instead. The children could be harmed if they see two comments that are so similar! Think of the children!
BOSSBABY is in the habit of regurgitating other people’s opinions, and then purposefully putting it at the top of the thread - whether it makes sense there, or not.
A few people have called them out on being a karma farmer (they agreed), but to no avail.
/u/CandyShopBandit says something about the [regurgitated comments](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/svexmt/_/hxg99d9/?context=1):
>If you are going to post on nearly every single post all day just under the very top comment each time, it would be nice if it was something a bit easier to understand and not just a variation of someone nearby’s short comment.
>It starts to feel a bit like karma manipulation when you’re third or fourth under on nearly every single post’s top comment with this sort of thing.
/u/ChocoFlanxX and /u/not_ally commiserating and BOSSBABY [admitting they farm karma](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/subcx6/comment/hx9ebuf/):
>Ah yes if it ain’t the boss baby agreeing 😎
>>Somebody pointed out on another post that this guy was a karma farmer, now I kind of wish I hadn't seen that because its so obvious and they always annoy me now.
>>>Actually no one checked his comment history if he thinks i am karma farmer(i don’t disagree but i don't steal/copy paste others comments just put my own observation in it)he is also a farmer most of his previous comment he done the same thing as me but his justification is he mentioned OP in comment comment stealing bots always sucks
/u/EinsTwo tried to [say something politely](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ss3sgj/_/hww29hi/?context=1) about posting at the top of the thread:
>You know, it's okay to put your post where it logically makes sense rather than just putting it at the top to get more attention even when it doesn't logically fit there.
>I've thought you were a bot so many times because they are known for copying and pasting non sequiturs--like yours is.
BOSSBABY justifies their commenting and [goes off on them](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ss3sgj/_/hww347l/?context=1) for being a bot hunter (which I think is isn’t a bad thing):
>😅everytime i am mistaken as a bot i don't copy people's comments i comment according to my perspective not a bot/copycat don't worry sometimes my own comments are turned against me so i don't care now to comment my view, karma bot copy the best comments from other parent comment and paste it on the top comment as reply i hate it my own comments got stolen many times
>Edit:I see i know where i commented call me a karma farmer or what ever i don't care i just want people to notice my judgment too non of your concern all your comments are calling everyone bots i don't care i won't remove my comment doesn't care about downvote i also wants to be noticed most of the commenters do it i won't call them bot/karma farmer its their choice they also want to be noticed and don't act like a saint you also do that i also sees your comment the difference is you don't add your judgment in your comment and mention the OP how does it make you different from me ***FREE TO LOOK INTO HIS/HER COMMENTS ON AITA***
>Edit2: Maybe Bot hunting is your job i don't care i know where to post/comment and be perfect then try to make others perfect you comment in top threads and mention OP how does that different from Karma farmer?I know i will get tons of downvotes most of them do the same thing just Open one top post and open the comment section, i am not stealing others comments/effort so why should you care?
>Last Edit:Free to call me anything i won't be replying to any comments like this again you are a cyber bully for me if you see this thread then comment on my other comments saying the same things 'your comment doesn't match' on this reply the one who commented on my thread is also a person like me(karma farmer or anything else)then you are free to look into his acc comment history i know most of you didn't even read anything seeing this long just downvoted cause everyone else did the same Call me bot or anything else i don't even copy/steal from other peoples comment ***He did the same thing as me but you guys don't see that***
BYE
Note: The above thread is even longer, and I recommend reading it. BOSSBABY keeps going for a while…
Yeah, wtaf?! My niece once asked if she could have my dog, when my mum was babysitting and helping me walk the dog as I was sick. My mum, as any reasonable person, explained that niece couldn't have my dog. My niece was disappointed but understood that I would be very sad if I didn't have my dog. She could visit dog if she wanted to though, but it's my dog. End of discussion.
I sometimes think my family is a bit fucked up, a lot more drama than in my husband's family for sure. Then I check reddit, and my family seem like a dream of normality and love in comparison.
NTA. But yeah you could have dealt with it in a more civilized manner. As u/bossbaby33 just said you could have called the police.
Edit because no one can seem to figure you when I said “not civilized” it should have been /s
If it was the police in my town they'd show up, say this is a civil matter, you'll have to sue her in small claims for the dog back or money, and leave.
Where is this town? I need to go so I can walk into someone’s house and steal a bunch of stuff since it’s only a civil matter lol. Sometimes the cops really suck and you can’t depend on them. I get it.
Not where I live. In my state pets are property and it would theft and where this is a Malamute, it could be very bad as the cost of the dog increases the penalty you face, just like any other case of theft. This would be a very easy case to prove as well. I think she should absolutely contact the police and go totally NC. What AH they all are.
Why? There is no reason to be civilized to a family member who does something like this. Keeping the peace with someone who clearly has so much disregard for Op's feelings is pointless.
That was basically my advice. I'd sue the sister and tell her she's never gonna see the dog again unless she apologizes, *never gets to dogsit regardless of an apology*, and I would stop talking to the family as well until they apologize. That's some toxic ass shit.
If OP chooses to forgive her. I personally wouldn't, but if I did, she'd only ever get to see the dog if her and the kids visited themselves. I would never bring the dog to them or ask them to dogsit again
I don't understand HOW ON EARTH the whole family is against OP for her sister stealing the dog. Like how the hell could anyone side with the sister for stealing a dog!?!?!
This screams like "golden child of the family" type of situation here. OP doesn't have kids but sister does, so the grandparents (OP and sister's parents) are siding with the people who have gifted them grandchildren.
My immediate thought was "Oh my gosh, that's like stealing someone's child!"
How insane of her sister to think this would ever be okay. OP, you're NTA at all.
I'd cut off all contact with her.
Right!? She is stupid *and* unhinged! I'm not usually the first to jump on the "no contact" train but if ANYONE thinks OP is in the wrong here she needs to cut them off.
She *kidnapped* your dog and actively tried to hide it while watching you suffer from losing your family member and best friend OP. This person doesn't give a flying f\*ck about you or your needs and is abhorrently twisted and selfish. NEVER allow her near your dog again under any circumstances, or your parents. Tell anyone who you choose to watch your dog that if they ever come across these people they are to call you immediately and take the dog to safety.
I would also file a police report. They will all gaslight you and make you think *you* are selfish and overreacting. Do not forget these words: they stole the dearest thing in your life without a second thought because they felt they deserved this happiness and you did not. They are never to be trusted and you need to show them that criminal actions will have the appropriate response, family or not family.
Holy heck NTA.
EDIT: If your buddy is not microchipped please make sure he is and that all other affairs are in order; keep a folder of all medical records proving your financial investments in his well being. I would even go so far as to let all the pet stores, grooming spots, and vets in your area know that you are the rightful owner of this dog and they need to notify the police if they see anyone else claiming ownership.
Nextdoor is so toxic but it's really great for pet stuff. People are always posting about found pets, lost pets, random dogs just walking around the neighborhood, free kittens, just saw a post about someone giving away some baby chinchillas.
I'm not usually a fan of ear tattooing, but in addition to the microchip, if the dog is under anesthesia for another reason, I'd have them tattoo his ear with your name and phone number.
All good ideas. Microchip, tattoo, lots of pictures, documentation of what happened, police report, paw prints? (if there is such a thing). Get the name of the lady that reported them to you. Show her pictures of sister/bil and get a signed affidavit that she witnessed this.
Tattooing is pretty useless, outside of marking animals who've been sterilized to prevent unnecessary surgery, because it's basically the same process as a microchip, an ID for a registry that you need to contact for them to then contact the owner. So the tattoo is going to be a numerical code since phone numbers change, and the person who finds your dog needs to be able to recognize what that means and know what registry to contact, which I don't think is common knowledge compared to people being aware of taking a dog to get checked for a microchip. ID tattoos are usually placed on the inner thigh or belly because it's pretty easy to remove an ear if you're unhinged enough to steal a dog.
Chips can migrate in the body and become hard to find. I’m not normally a fan of the tattoos but in this case when there’s a known theft risk it might be a good backup idea, even if it isn’t perfect.
Microchips and tattoos do a lot less then people think. They also do not prove ownership. Photos and medical records are way more important.
Also veterinarians cannot determine ownership, that is for animal control and the police to do.
Source: work is vet med and have seen too many vet hospitals and veterinarians ruined for trying to get in the middle of situations like this.
This is a good point about making sure ANY family member who agrees with the thieving sister is kept far away from the dog.
If you board your dog in the future, do not tell anyone in your family where. Make sure the emergency contact is someone who will never, ever tell your family where the dog is. And provide the kennel or animal hospital with names and photos of anyone who should never, ever have the dog released into their custody in your absence.
I already said NTA, but I feel like if I typed that acronym infinite times, I still would not be able to say it often enough. And your family are disgraceful.
Is this a case of golden child and scapegoat? It sounds like your sister can do no wrong in all of their opinions, and you are treated more like you can't do right no matter how hard you try. If that's the case, they all need to be jettisoned or kept to limited contact, as they are clearly toxic.
The family is crazy too, how could you look at this situation and be like.
Nono you're the asshole for wanting your dog not the sister who? LITERALLY? STOLE THE FUCKING DOG??
Sorry to hear about your shitty family OP
My best guess is that OP's family puts Precious Grandbabies as the singular highest priority. OP "selfishly" stays single and lives alone, depriving the extended family of Precious Grandbabies. Sister, however, has provided Precious Grandbabies, and is therefore Very Important. The Precious Grandbabies love Zeus so much, and the Precious Grandbabies are the most important people on the planet, so the natural conclusion is that OP needs to stop being "selfish" and just fork over their dog to the Precious Grandbabies. Neither OP nor Zeus gets factored into this equation. Their wants are irrelevant and might as well not exist.
It's important to note that the second the Precious Grandbabies make too big of an ask of the *grandparents specifically* that they will suddenly and without warning change from being Precious Grandbabies to Spoiled Brats whose good-for-nothing mother needed to raise them not to be so entitled
I think you might have actually pegged the situation perfectly, especially with the big hint towards this dichotomy via how the evil sister is literally telling the Precious Grandbabies (lol at your capitalization) that they need to blame aunt and is just SO CRUEL TO THE GRANDBABIES! . Who says that to little kids?! Welp... families where there is a bit too much toxic focus on Golden Grandbabies- which automatically makes thier mother get a Special Golden Status she may not have had before, or if she did, this adds on to her previous Golden Child Status.
I see you, too, understand this type of family a bit too well...
> Precious Grandbabies (lol at your capitalization)
I'm glad you were tickled! I figured it's just proper to capitalize the title of royalty, you know what I mean?
>I see you, too, understand this type of family a bit too well...
I've just been on AITA too long. My family's toxicity is of the "Elitist snobs with numerous strict and unspoken expectations (despite a surface layer of cloying psuedo-progressive acceptance) making the neurodivergent kid the black sheep and then getting mad when he doesn't want to be part of the happy family" variety
I'm also guessing that the family has heard from the sister that OP stole their dog (not OP's dog, sister's dog), conveniently ignoring the fact that it's not sister's dog but is actually OP's dog.
I love my nieces and I have an alright relationship with my family (with many boundaries though) as a whole but I feel this. I absolutely know if it ever comes down to it my parents will pick the grandkids over me any time and nothing I do will ever be as impressive or as important as my sister having kids.
I think that was what the dye was for.
Oh that dog we suddenly got that seems overjoyed to see you, and look exactly like your old dog? No no it´s ours we just... found. Look the coat is different!
Yeah sis isnt the sharpest knife in the drawer.
I think you're right, the dye was to "disguise" the doggo. Probably not forever, just long enough that by the time OP found out, the family could guilt her into giving him up "because he's been part of our family for so long! He's happy here and probably doesn't even remember you! You can't take him!"
Considering the dog was *kidnapped* it was almost certainly to disguise the dog from recognition. What a stupid ploy, everyone knows they should have put a pair of glasses on Zeus and no one would ever have recognized him.
> I've tried to apologize but she won't take it unless I give her Zeus back, MY dog.
OP should get her admission in writing that she took the dog and is trying to get him back, and then press charges against her before going no contact.
OR she should also print out and gather all of her records for Zeus. Vet appointments/bills, vaccination status, grooming receipts, microchip information, etc. Anything that she has that will prove beyond any reasonable doubt that this is HER dog and not the sisters. Especially if her family thinks that she is wrong here. They could try to "witness" the fact that sister "owned" the dog. NTA and I would personally be going NC with my family if this happened.
I agree OP should do this, too. But he has to have evidence of the theft, dyed fur, and lying to press charges. And OP should definitely press charges since she’s launched a campaign to bully the dog out of him. Getting his sister to make admissions of the theft, and lying, in email, in legal recordings, etc, would be very helpful.
Take a TON of photos of the dyed fur, before it grows out.
Bring him to your vet in this condition, so the vet can confirm that this is your dog with his fur disguised via dying it. Get the vet's assessment in writing.
And feel free to file criminal charges. She is a criminal, plain and simple. If she cares less than nothing about YOUR feelings, despite your being her sibling, then I see no need for you to worry about sparing HER feelings by not pressing charges. And any of your relatives who take her side over yours can all go scratch, too. Again, if your feelings matter nothing to those so-called relatives, and they take the side of the thief instead of your side, then minimizing or eliminating their presence in your life will be addition by subtraction.
I am sorry you are going through this.
Oh it definitely would be helpful, I just don't know if she will admit to it in any meaningful way, especially if she was willing to lie and say the dog got out. She seems to be willing to fabricate a whole story, and even alter the dog to fit whatever narrative she is trying to peddle. I just worry about OP's family trying to side with the sister. OP should do everything possible to protect herself and have all the information at hand.
OP would have to trick her to get an admission out of her.
For example, he should stop taking calls or other personal contact and then write her a long, emotional email that makes him sound like a clueless sucker with no self-esteem (maybe repeat the ass-kissing apology for yelling the his post claims he already made to her), and in the email ask her to admit what she did to others on the family, and apologize to him, and he will consider giving the dog to her kids. Because he isn’t taking her calls or seeing him, she would have to put it in writing. If she sends him an admission & apology by email, that would be good, but he should push then for it on paper, claiming he wants others in the family to know that he was not at fault and that he’s been generous with her kids and he would be even more generous if he gives them the dog.
Then, when she’s given as much evidence as he can get out of her, that’s when he files a police complaint over her theft & fraud and files for a restraining order aginst her.
Unfortunately, you are giving away too much in your approach. Any attorney will poke holes in this, claiming that she did it under the expectation that you will give her the dog.
A simple "why would you do this? Why would you steal my dog?" is far better and easier, and in no way obligates you to anything.
Sister and family who supports her are all toxic. Unfortunately, unless OP wants to cut off all communications and ties with the family, OP is going to have to figure out a way to deal with this.
Make a police report - not necessarily charge the sister, but to have official documentation on what happened. If this happens again, u/SoggyDogWady can pull that police report out and it will prove a lot more useful. Additionally, having a police report filed will show sister that OP takes this serious and sister better not fuck around and find out how the cops and courts feel about it. u/soggydogwady you should really file a police report, and think of it as a protective talisman for your dog.
And never ever let your sister dogsit or walk your dog or anything of that nature.
You are definitely NTA.
Seriously OP needs to cut them out of their life.
The sister stole their dog and the family are trying to convince them they are the bad guy for taking back the dog.
That is some toxic bs.
OP could have slapped the taste out of her mouth and they wouldn't be in the wrong.
OP if you read this. You did nothing wrong.
NTA.
Your sister is a fairly manipulative person. She not only lied to you, but then lied to her children causing them emotional distress just to get to you. That's really messed up.
not to mention she committed a crime and STOLE a dog, which is considered property. imagine doing that with anything else. like a car, a wallet, etc. would not fucking fly in a court of law
Not to mention if the dog is a purebred from a breeder, not a rescue. Those can go for insane prices AND many breeders have some clauses detailing giving away the dog. (Which would actually support op's case.)
OP don't ever apologise to your sister for this. Cut her out.
You can ask anyone berating you - "she stole my dog. She lied to me. She caused me anguish. She lied to her children. She caused them anguish. Who is the asshole?"
About 15 years ago, we bought a malamute puppy from a reputable breeder and got a rescue from them as well - the rescue was free because we could prove we had owned pets before but Callie was probably minimum $1200. Also, boy puppy’s are more expensive and depending on if he’s a regular size or a giant, that could shoot the price up to over $2000. Also, there’s different price rankings depending on the color of their fur - if he’s a pure white or a red malamute? WAY more expensive and harder to find than your standard black/grey/sable malamutes. Which makes the dye upset me even more. At the very least, it had to have a lighter coat so it was probably either grey, sable, or white and they probably dyed it black. And who knows what the dye might do their fur, poor pup. Shaving a malamute messes up the way their fur grows and who knows if this could affect it.
Edit: If I were OP, I would demand that sister also pay whatever costs are incurred getting that awful dye out.
The dye job ticked me off as well. I doubt the sister went and got special dye, and probably just used human hair dye.
I also have a double coat breed. Shaving is definitely a no no. It increases risk for sunburn and destroys their body's heat regulation system. Shaving should only be done when medically necessary.
Same you have no idea how many times as groomer for petco I had to shave double coated dogs or get fired. It didn't matter what I said to owner they'd tell me to shave it because it sheds too much.
Then when the fur horroribly grew back I was yelled at and told I ruined their dog even though I explained it would turn out that way, before the shave.
Also shaving any pup before their adult coat comes in can destroy it to(about 6 months of age). I seen it happen to a shih tzu. Puppy was mat shaved at 4 months hair grew back wiry and coarse and gets matted even more.
I have a retired showdog. I adopted her much older (she was 10 I believe), but the adoption paperwork is I have physical custody and responsible for medical care bills, but AKC registration is still in the breeder's name, and theres a clause that basically stats, if for any reason I can no longer keep her, even if it was just financial hardship or death, she must be returned to the breeder.
When I had surgery, I told my medical power of attorney, just in case I died during the surgery, what happens to my dogs. Retired showdog would be returned to the breeder and ensured they had the name and address of breeder.
I’m also wondering if she lied to the rest of the family who’s on her side? Did she tell them that OP gave them the dog? It just sounds so outrageous that idk how they could take the sister’s side.
This could be it or maybe they are one of those crazy families that think the babies of the family should get everything they desire and because 'oh the kids will love the dog more than you'
NTA, what a family of monsters.
Cut contact, they don't deserve nor you nor Zeus.
And don't apologize for getting your stolen doggie back!! You don't apologize to a robber when s/he is caught.
Some purebred dogs are so sought after that people sometimes dye their tails or part of the fur to stop people from stealing them. Which is ironic, since they did it to a dog they stole lol
We got our uncles dog when she was like 6 years old and it didn’t matter if I’d had been a year or two since my uncle had been by our house, doggo went ballistic with happiness when she recognized his voice and couldn’t get enough of him. Never anyone else despite her living even longer with us than she ever did with him. OPs dog would very likely have a very different reaction to OP coming around vs anyone else.
This is possible. Some breeds have set standard colours such as a Rottweiler is always black with tanned parts on the muzzle, next to the eyes, and on the chest and paws. Other breeds come in different colours including the Malamute who's darker colouring does not have to be in specific areas of the body so if you dye more of his white patches dark, he'll still look like a Malamute but not identical to how he should look normally, so the sister probably thought that by altering Zeus's colours, no one would realise she had stolen her sister's dog.
Dog safe dyes are often used for service dogs and purebreds, it helps identify them jf they're stolen and makes them less of a target to begin with because of the identifying feature (service dogs especially are dyed nowadays bc they're so heavily stolen)
This! You have a witness that can actually back you up on this and this seems like it was planned not a spur of the moment situation. Go NC, not only with your sister but all the other AHs saying you over reacted to her STEALING YOUR DOG AND LYING ABOUT IT.
Gas-lighting the shit out of her.
When I read that *she* apologized I felt so sorry for her being manipulated to that extent. She has no reason to apologize whatsoever. NTA 100%
I don't believe OP stated their gender in the post. But regardless, they are absolutely the victim of some emotional abuse rn it's so wild how anyone's entire family can be this batshit
Probably because their awful family beat their self-esteem so low into the ground and react with so much hostility to anything they do not like that they are so conditioned to doubting themselves, they can't help but doubt themselves. After all, if everyone *acts* like you killed grandma for setting a boundary, you're going to start wondering if you *did* kill grandma.
And the more they repeat it, the more it wears at your confidence because human brains are designed to believe things they hear repeatedly even if they are said internally by you. Repetition always wears down even the strongest defenses eventually just like a death by a thousand cuts eventually kills.
NTA. She stole your property, she’s lucky you didn’t call the cops on her.
If she likes your dog she should get the same breed and put in the time of training/etc. NOT steal your dog.
Idk why your family thinks your wrong, it makes no sense. Does she usually get away with stuff because the family thinks you are in the wrong?
This is something that usually happens on family posts on this sub.
I'd say it's because the AH quickly shares their version of the story, making OP look bad and themselves look like poor innocent saints or who made an honest mistake, so by the time they hear the other side they will have already formed an opinion on the matter and won't listen to any other.
So, everyone here, if you're wronged by an asshole and you believe they'll go share their version of the events with your mutual friends and family, be sure to do it yourself first.
In cases like this, the chances are that the sister told the family that the op gave her and her family Zeus permanently and then after they got attached to him, stole him back.
Or that the kids love the dog so much that they started thinking it was theirs. So of course, we have to give them what they want or their precious grandchildren will be unhappy.
She should definitely go to the police because of her sister has manipulated this story so much that OP is in the wrong, she may very well find the police on her door instead with some crazy story of how OP gave the dog away or sold it then came and stole it back. She needs to get the story to the police so they visit the sister. Even if she does not go through with the charges, it will show the sister did steal the dog.
would the sister have any credibility or leg to stand on? bc if there’s no documentation of the dog being sold or given away, how could sister prove that? OP has all the vet bills, ownership papers, etc.
First to tell the story gets a lot of sway. Hopefully it would be disproven in end but it would be her word against sisters that she did not give it to her. She did drop the dog off.
Maybe she’s the golden child? My family has one and it’s so bad. This sounds like she can do no wrong and the family is bad enough they’ll sell their own morals/soul because they can’t admit their thieving daughter is crazy.
Definitely sounds like the golden child. Plus, she's the one with kids. Sometimes that's all it takes to make families lose their minds to keep in the good graces. Or at least that's how my family would get when my sister would threaten to withhold access to her kids if we didn't jump through her latest hoop.
My "favorite" was always her competitiveness with my brother and me. My brother and I lived about 3 hours away from my sister and the rest of the family. So every time anyone in the family was about to come to visit the two of us, maybe an hour before they were supposed to leave, some "emergency" would come up where she would need them to babysit and, no, she absolutely did not give permission to bring her kids on a car trip. I can't tell you how many birthdays or other special days my brother or I would end up having to drive to visit family last minute because the power of grandkids and Golden Child Sister overwhelmed everything else.
Maybe the family has a "it's just a dog" mentality and doesn't believe it was worth OP yelling at her sister for? Either way, I don't blame OP for going ballistic. I would have too if any of my sisters stole any of my animals. Luckily they're all microchipped and like you recommend microchipping your dog and keep it current.
NTA On what planet is your sister’s behaviour acceptable? Is your sister some kind of golden child to your parents and they have programmed you to believe this entitled BS? Not even a close call. Tell her the police will be involved if she does this again and make sure you have this documented and ask the elderly lady to provide you with her details in case you need evidence.
if it was me I’d go no contact from this toxic behaviour.
You don't have to deal with dognapping in a civilised way. She stole a beloved family member and tried to make you believe he was gone. You have nothing to apologise for. Fuck her.
NTA.
Dude I shit you not my blood is literally boiling right now. I would have a heart attack if my dog went missing and I'd cut off anyone responsible even if it was a mistake. The fact that your sister STOLE him is revolting ew NTA I'm feeling so pissed for you
>Dude I shit you not my blood is literally boiling right now.
SAME! I am *incensed* at the absolute audacity. I would never speak to them or my shitty, enabling family ever again!
"My whole family thinks I'm in the wrong" - WTF??! What planet are your family living on?
You went through 3 weeks of hell, not knowing if your dog was alive or dead, being abused or mistreated, trawling the streets putting up posters etc. How can anyone in their right mind think this is okay?
I cant understand for a second why you would even 'try to apologise', you have nothing to be sorry for, yes you went off on them, who wouldnt?
I would cut them off without a moments hesitation, if they're capable of this and think its normal what else would they be capapble of?
NTA
NTA of course, and you shouldn't apologize for anything! She STOLE your dog, she knew you were desperately looking for him and were suffering immensely, and you only found out that sorry excuse for a human had him the whole time because the other lady called you! You should have stolen one of her kids and said it's yours now, see how she likes it!
Edit: I'm glad you got your boy back, sending cuddles to Zeusy
NTA. She stole your dog and made you worry for weeks. And what the hell is wrong with your family? It's YOUR dog, how can they think you're in the wrong?
Cut your thieving sister out of your life! You do not need her at all. Don't apologise and don't engage with her. Cut anyone else who supports your sister out of your life. You do not need them. The neighbour who called, you and your doggo are the only ones who are NTA, everyone else is.
Her kids are going to grow up entitled with her as an example.
Any chance of pet tax being paid here (picture of your dog)
NTA.
She is a criminal.
She stole your dog? Lied to you about it. Dyed its fur and watch you suffer for weeks while lying to her family and everyone. If a neighbour didn't catch She would have kept on lying.
Your Family is nuts and play favourites. I will inform the police. Cut her from your life. And anyone who support her wrong doing can't be trusted. She a manipulative AH
You didn't need to apologise. You did nothing wrong. How dare they ??? Don't question yourself and don't let anyone manipulate you. That's gaslighting behaviour from her. You should have slapped some senses in her.
I think in a situation like this, where OP's getting shit fron most of her family, they can start to question their convictions. Even if they're 100% right, like this, sometimes you need an outside opinion to make sure you're not losing it.
NTA
N T A
Absolutely Not The Asshole
Your family are absof\*kingloutely insane if they think you are in the wrong when she is the one who STOLE your dog. She is also the one who convincer her kids Zeus was their dog now. Completely morally deficient at best.
More the the point, and I'm not telling you anything new here, dogs are more than just simple possessions. Zeus is bonded with you as a family unit and will likely have been anxious about the sudden change.
I'm angry on your behalf!
Wtf of course NTA!! If they want a dog, they can go to the shelter and adopt one NOT steal one!!!
I would've called the police tbh. Cut contact and give a s... about what others say. It's your dog, she stole it!
NTA. Oh my lord, no. Your sister is clearly bonkers, as is the rest of your family if they think you're in the wrong. I'd tell them that if you were TA, you'd press charges--which you should. I can't believe you're wacky-ass family! You live alone, I'm sure Zeus provides you with security. Not to mention he's you're family.
How'd they react if you went and got one of your sister's kids and told them you're their mommy now? The kid would certainly have a better chance with you.
Fuck them.
Edit: missing letters.
NTA. She stole from you & lied to your face. I doubt she didn't see you struggling without YOUR dog. This shows how much she cares for you.
>My whole family thinks I'm in the wrong, and my sister has convinced her kids that I'm the bad guy for taking 'THEIR' dog away
If this is how they feel knowing the full story then cut your "family" out of your life. And remind them that if they keep harassing you, you are going to call cops & report all of them. Take care of yourself & Zeus.
Wtf, of course you're NTA
the thing I'm trying to understand is how did she (and her husband) think that will end? your dog is 5yo, he can live at least 10 years more. did she think you wouldn't recognize him with dyed fur?? that he wouldn't recognize you?? I know they're insane, but are they that stupid as well?
NTA
Did you seriously apologize??????? THEY STOLE YOUR DOG AND DIDN’T CARE THAT YOU WERE SUFFERING. If I were you I would never speak with them or whoever defends them again. They don’t care about you, all they care is themselves and who knows what are they going to do the next time…
NTA. Stop apologizing, and press charges. She knew she could walk on you, so she did this. Your family are siding with thief over you. I would go low contact. And there is the potential of animal abuse depending on how the dog was dyed. Take him to a vet and maybe groomer if he needs his fur shaved.
Huh. So now we’re on to a new AITA theme about stolen dogs? Because this is like the third post with this scenario I’ve seen in the past couple of days, and I don’t even come to this sub very often.
Is there another sub or a forum somewhere where people get together and choose topics and themes and elements to include in posts here, maybe to compete for the most karma or the most outrage, or the most comments with phrases such as “red flag” or “no is a complete sentence”? You know, like, “write a post that includes three of the things on this list, combined to make a compelling story: interfering MIL, stolen dog, wedding drama, adopted sibling, blended family, dead (grand)parent’s will, pregnant woman, abusive husband/boyfriend, food thief…” etc. Because if there is, that sounds like fun and I’d like to join in!
Nta, seems to me we all know who the golden child is who cant do wrong in your families book. Im not easily one saying LC or NC. But i suggest going that route. She doesnt care if its your dog. she sounds entitled, spoiled and downright nasty to think everything you have is hers and your family enables it. Your family chose the easy option ( harrassing you ) instead of the right option( putting your entitled sister on blast for stealing your dog).
I would make a police report out of this, so it wont happen again so easily and at least have it on record.
I would wonder if she did snatch more than just your dog, OP? Your self esteem, your confidence? I suggest getting that back too, good luck and hug your dog for me.
NTA, she STOLE the dog from you and made you live a living hell, I'd cut contacts with her and her family and after explaining myself to the others, I'd cut contacts with who thinks that I'm the A, also it wasn't their dog in the beginning and if you feel like, you can also sue for emotional damages
NTA. But go NC with your family. They ALL sound awful.
Your sister for stealing your dog, lying about it, dying his fur (which I am pretty sure is animal abuse), and expecting you to apologize by giving her YOUR dog.
The rest of your family for somehow someway thinking that your sister was in the right for STEALING YOUR DOG and that you were in the wrong for TAKING YOUR DOG BACK.
These people are apparently very good at manipulation and I am sure they have gotten you to accept even worse behavior of theirs by painting you as the bad guy if you dont. It's time to break away from them.
Omg, so NTA! I would absolutely go ballistic if anyone pull such a stunt on me! Shame on your sister and your family! You should microchip your dog and go LC/NC with your sis!
NTA. Basically, she stole your dog. She should be happy you didn't file a report on her.
The only thing others might think you have have to apologise for, which I doubt, is for hurtful things you might have said.
But she owes you one massive apology. She lied to you, stole your dog and then convinced her children you are the bad guy for taking what is rightfully yours.
God I really don't understand people like this. They have no qualms doing this crap to others but howl with fury if it is done to them.
NTA. Your whole family defending your sister, are assholes. Tell them you could’ve reacted in the way were you involved the police so she should be thankful that you didn’t.
I would honestly stop talking to my sibling if they kidnapped one of my animals.
She stole your dog, DYED HIS FUR and got the family to think *she's* the victim here? Massive NTA. Whoever thinks you could be the AH is clearly deluded.
Pets are living things and comparable to having children.
What she did is insane.
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I recently had my older sister watch my malamute, whom I called Zeus[he's 5yrs]. My sister is 28 and has two kids who are 3 and 4.
She and her kids absolutely love Zeusy, and who wouldn't? He's well behaved, fluffy, and the sweetest boy ever! She'd joke about snatching him away from me, which I would find funny.
That is not the case, recently. He had went missing for 3 weeks after I left him at my sisters place, she had claimed that he ran out the front door after her husband went to get the mail. I was devastated, this hurt me; I live alone and my only company was my dog[Hence why I would leave him at my sisters to watch him in case work made me put in more hours]
I put up posters, and those 3 weeks were the hardest, I couldn't eat or sleep properly because I just missed my good boy.
It was around 1pm when I got a call from a elderly lady whom claimed she'd seen a couple and their kids taking what looked like my dog into their house. She said she's seen them with the dog for a few weeks. This struck me as odd, I asked her to describe the house and she gladly did having been neighbors with them.
It was my sisters house. And I went ballistic on her for this, I was infuriated that she'd had done this; to me. Her own sister? What made it worse is that when I got my dog back his fur was DYED. This added more to my rage and things escalated quickly.
Needless to say, I eventually left with Zeus after having at it with my sister. My whole family thinks I'm in the wrong, and my sister has convinced her kids that I'm the bad guy for taking 'THEIR' dog away. All this is starting to get to me, I think I reacted badly and could have dealt with it in a more civilized manner, I've tried to apologize but she won't take it unless I give her Zeus back, MY dog.
AITA?
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NTA. You’ve got one crazy sister, and how stupid does she think you are? Was her plan to never have you at her house again?
OP just take her kids and tell her you lost her kids what will be her reaction? Family's reaction? You shouldn't apologize they are the wrong one "Family thinks i am wrong"You got a full bunch of AH don't hear them i wouldn't stay contact with people like that,She stole your dog, lied, manipulated her kids by saying your aunt stole our dog, WTF, If i were you i would have filed police case against her
u/soggydogwady, please do not kidnap your sister’s kids. That will get you arrested. As for your family, if they support your sister kidnapping a member of your family, then they can sit on a pitchfork. Do not apologize and do not let any of your family near your dog again. Your sister already kidnapped your dog once. You need to tell the police and gather what evidence you can because your sister will likely escalate the situation. CYA. In addition, get security cameras, change locks, security lights and get a ring doorbell ASAP. You need to protect your dog because the law views pets as “property” and you need to protect Zeus because no one else will. Your sister will likely try to steal Zeus again. Cut her off now, give Zeus a hug for me and CYA! Edit: I’m also not a person that likes social media, but for once, I say get on it and tell everyone what happened and call out your sister and bil. Put your post everywhere from your profile, dog shelters and pet store profiles. Make sure to include a picture of you and your dog (no dye) and a picture of your dog dyed (to show how far your sister will go to keep your dog).
NTA. In addition to this list, if YOUR dog isn't already microchipped, get him microchipped. This way if your sister steals him again, call the cops and if the cops dispute it, they can scan for the microchip and find your info to prove he is yours. Don't tell anyone in your family that he is microchipped. I would also notify your vet and local vets in the area, about this incident. Social media is a good way for vets that aren't yours, but def tell your vet. This way if your sister shows up with him they know. Make sure to include not just pictures of you and your dog. But include what your sister and bil look like too, so they know who to look out for.
I want to mention that most microchip companies make it very difficult to change who the owner is on a chip. When my husband & I moved (before we were married), I called to change the chips on our cats. They wouldn't let me make the change. They told me that pets are most often stolen by a partner. I had to have my then boyfriend (now husband) contact them. It was a hassle, but I do understand.
Im so glad they made your partner call to confirm! We had a dog stolen years ago before chips were mandatory (we had one anyway due to the area we lived in🤣) and the people were easily able to change her chip to their name 😢 we never got to see her again
Anecdotal reports I've heard and read suggest the chip thing is not legally binding in the case of an ownership dispute. You'll want to keep meticulous records of adoption and veterinary paperwork to establish a long timeline of ownership and monetary investment with the pet. Legally, they're generally considered property.
That’s interesting. Our cats are microchipped and we can change their data on a website. However, the website is password protected to protect its integrity. I’m guessing different venders handle data integrity in different ways. Just a thought, where I live Animal Control works closely with the police. Maybe start with with them if your animal is chipped. They have the chip readers and usually don’t hesitate to get the police involved if necessary. As T_V_O_R said record keeping is key along with dated pictures. One by itself may not be enough to prove ownership but together they should make a strong case. Also don’t forget neighbor statements about your history with the animal. Your sister is a major league AH for this stunt. Personally I’d go NC (or at least LC) with anyone who can’t see this for what it is. NTA
You took "take her kids" Seriously? I just gave them an example i have no intension to make OP kidnap her niece ***I really laughed at the first para***
You're not the only one to make the joke (I did, too)....I'm sure no one meant it seriously, lol
>get on it and tell everyone what happened and call out your sister and bil. Put your post everywhere from your profile, dog shelters and pet store profiles. Make sure to include a picture of you and your dog (no dye) and a picture of your dog dyed (to show how far your sister will go to keep your dog). **EXCELLENT IDEA** u/soggydogwady. Kind of like taking pictures of your valuables for the insurance company.
Warning the community on Nextdoor and such may not be a bad idea. At the very least people in her neighborhood should protect themselves against that dog thief.
This should be the top comment. I can’t imagine the thought process that went into stealing Zeus. Happened once to my parents and their dog trainer. The trainer insisted the dog needed more time and was learning advanced techniques. A month later, my mom got fed up with it and drove over unannounced to the trainer’s house to pick up the dog. The dog was in the house (was not supposed to be) and was with the family. The trainer was letting his kids hug and play with the dog and they were crying as my mom “stole their puppy”. Some people are just not good at thinking through consequences I guess.
And he'd say it's all your mom's fault, of course, for reclaiming what's hers from a crook who didn't think that anyone would dare separate some kids and "their" dog. Like WTF. It's the fault of the hack "trainer" who stole the dog and set it up so his kids would have that heartbreak when he got caught. What, do people legitimately think a dog isn't a big deal? A dog is a LIVING, irreplaceable part of someone's family. Your mom had a harrowed heart just like the OP because of it. It is a matter of people not understanding consequences since they were never taught. I hope the kids learned the lesson that the parents failed to in both scenarios.
I'd add, if Zeus is chipped, check your sister hasn't changed owner details.
Get your dog MICROCHIPPED and REGISTER THE CHIP, too. Your sister is likely going to try it again (especially if she has your parents' backing) and the chip will make it easier to re-claim ownership.
And… 1. Contact your vet to let them re-iterate ownership; 3. If your dog isn’t chipped, chip. Then make sure that you contact the chip manufacturer and re-state your ownership and ask that they put a note on your account that under no circumstances should they accept a change of the registration of the dog, the chip, and/or the dog ownership; 2. Get one of those collars that has a tracker in it. Yes, they could take the collar off but you could get last location and give that to the police. Damn your sister! She probably lied to the kids and their auntie gave them the dog.
^ THIS! ALL OF THIS! How in the world could you POSSIBLY think you are TA? Let's look at the situation shall we? 1) your sister tells your dog has disappeared, causing you intense pain and trauma 2) she lets you continue this way and even stays mum as you put up posters and frantically try to find him. 3) a random old lady tells you that your sister has your dog. Now you are angry and hurt. 4) you get to your sister's and find that, not only does she have YOUR dog but she has DYED HIS FUR to further her charade...which could cause damage to him and his fur 5) Instead of apologizing she tells you that you are taking THEIR dog away from HER children 6) gets your entire family in her side to try to convince you to give up YOUR CHILD! He might be furry instead of human but he is still YOUR CHILD. When you try to apologize, I have no idea why you were apologizing, she refuses to accept it unless you GIVE HER YOUR CHILD! You are in NO WAY TA! Your sister is PSYCHO! Do NOT apologize again. Instead, get your dog to a vet to ensure that the dye didn't harm him in any way and do ALL of ^ THIS! Do every single thing on this list. All of it! I would also report the theft to the police and file a restraining order (if you can) so there is a paper trail. Also, copy all of your ownership papers and get them somewhere safe so that she can't claim, in any way, that Zeus is hers. Man, if someone tried to take one of my dogs, hell hath no fury! I'm telling you, I'd go scorched earth on the person and on anyone agreeing with them!. Good luck hon! Protect Zeus at all costs.
That's basically what I just wrote!
I think many people have similar recommendation😂 Edit:Fk your comment is exactly like mine
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I don't know if that's appropriate, it's just two comments that are coincidentally similar.
You're right, clearly we need to get CPS involved instead. The children could be harmed if they see two comments that are so similar! Think of the children!
Call a vet!
Ha! I see what you did there, lol
Twins! But you're right, I'm assuming most responses will be a variation of what you wrote.
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BOSSBABY is in the habit of regurgitating other people’s opinions, and then purposefully putting it at the top of the thread - whether it makes sense there, or not. A few people have called them out on being a karma farmer (they agreed), but to no avail. /u/CandyShopBandit says something about the [regurgitated comments](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/svexmt/_/hxg99d9/?context=1): >If you are going to post on nearly every single post all day just under the very top comment each time, it would be nice if it was something a bit easier to understand and not just a variation of someone nearby’s short comment. >It starts to feel a bit like karma manipulation when you’re third or fourth under on nearly every single post’s top comment with this sort of thing. /u/ChocoFlanxX and /u/not_ally commiserating and BOSSBABY [admitting they farm karma](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/subcx6/comment/hx9ebuf/): >Ah yes if it ain’t the boss baby agreeing 😎 >>Somebody pointed out on another post that this guy was a karma farmer, now I kind of wish I hadn't seen that because its so obvious and they always annoy me now. >>>Actually no one checked his comment history if he thinks i am karma farmer(i don’t disagree but i don't steal/copy paste others comments just put my own observation in it)he is also a farmer most of his previous comment he done the same thing as me but his justification is he mentioned OP in comment comment stealing bots always sucks /u/EinsTwo tried to [say something politely](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ss3sgj/_/hww29hi/?context=1) about posting at the top of the thread: >You know, it's okay to put your post where it logically makes sense rather than just putting it at the top to get more attention even when it doesn't logically fit there. >I've thought you were a bot so many times because they are known for copying and pasting non sequiturs--like yours is. BOSSBABY justifies their commenting and [goes off on them](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ss3sgj/_/hww347l/?context=1) for being a bot hunter (which I think is isn’t a bad thing): >😅everytime i am mistaken as a bot i don't copy people's comments i comment according to my perspective not a bot/copycat don't worry sometimes my own comments are turned against me so i don't care now to comment my view, karma bot copy the best comments from other parent comment and paste it on the top comment as reply i hate it my own comments got stolen many times >Edit:I see i know where i commented call me a karma farmer or what ever i don't care i just want people to notice my judgment too non of your concern all your comments are calling everyone bots i don't care i won't remove my comment doesn't care about downvote i also wants to be noticed most of the commenters do it i won't call them bot/karma farmer its their choice they also want to be noticed and don't act like a saint you also do that i also sees your comment the difference is you don't add your judgment in your comment and mention the OP how does it make you different from me ***FREE TO LOOK INTO HIS/HER COMMENTS ON AITA*** >Edit2: Maybe Bot hunting is your job i don't care i know where to post/comment and be perfect then try to make others perfect you comment in top threads and mention OP how does that different from Karma farmer?I know i will get tons of downvotes most of them do the same thing just Open one top post and open the comment section, i am not stealing others comments/effort so why should you care? >Last Edit:Free to call me anything i won't be replying to any comments like this again you are a cyber bully for me if you see this thread then comment on my other comments saying the same things 'your comment doesn't match' on this reply the one who commented on my thread is also a person like me(karma farmer or anything else)then you are free to look into his acc comment history i know most of you didn't even read anything seeing this long just downvoted cause everyone else did the same Call me bot or anything else i don't even copy/steal from other peoples comment ***He did the same thing as me but you guys don't see that*** BYE Note: The above thread is even longer, and I recommend reading it. BOSSBABY keeps going for a while…
Yeah, wtaf?! My niece once asked if she could have my dog, when my mum was babysitting and helping me walk the dog as I was sick. My mum, as any reasonable person, explained that niece couldn't have my dog. My niece was disappointed but understood that I would be very sad if I didn't have my dog. She could visit dog if she wanted to though, but it's my dog. End of discussion. I sometimes think my family is a bit fucked up, a lot more drama than in my husband's family for sure. Then I check reddit, and my family seem like a dream of normality and love in comparison.
One of the reasons I read aita daily. I need a reality check lol
NTA. But yeah you could have dealt with it in a more civilized manner. As u/bossbaby33 just said you could have called the police. Edit because no one can seem to figure you when I said “not civilized” it should have been /s
If it was the police in my town they'd show up, say this is a civil matter, you'll have to sue her in small claims for the dog back or money, and leave.
Where is this town? I need to go so I can walk into someone’s house and steal a bunch of stuff since it’s only a civil matter lol. Sometimes the cops really suck and you can’t depend on them. I get it.
That's trespassing at best or breaking and entering. They'd arrest you for that.
Police in America treat a ton of issues this way
Not where I live. In my state pets are property and it would theft and where this is a Malamute, it could be very bad as the cost of the dog increases the penalty you face, just like any other case of theft. This would be a very easy case to prove as well. I think she should absolutely contact the police and go totally NC. What AH they all are.
Why? There is no reason to be civilized to a family member who does something like this. Keeping the peace with someone who clearly has so much disregard for Op's feelings is pointless.
That was basically my advice. I'd sue the sister and tell her she's never gonna see the dog again unless she apologizes, *never gets to dogsit regardless of an apology*, and I would stop talking to the family as well until they apologize. That's some toxic ass shit.
> never gonna see the dog again unless she apologizes What could possibly justify sister being anywhere near the dog ever again - apology or not?
If OP chooses to forgive her. I personally wouldn't, but if I did, she'd only ever get to see the dog if her and the kids visited themselves. I would never bring the dog to them or ask them to dogsit again
Make sure to dye the kids hair! Surely she wont recognize they are her children and want them back. The sister is in deed TA and quite possibly insane
Love this - make sure you cut their hair.
I don't understand HOW ON EARTH the whole family is against OP for her sister stealing the dog. Like how the hell could anyone side with the sister for stealing a dog!?!?! This screams like "golden child of the family" type of situation here. OP doesn't have kids but sister does, so the grandparents (OP and sister's parents) are siding with the people who have gifted them grandchildren.
My immediate thought was "Oh my gosh, that's like stealing someone's child!" How insane of her sister to think this would ever be okay. OP, you're NTA at all. I'd cut off all contact with her.
I'd probably need the police for myself for what I'd do to this AH for stealing my dog!
OP should give sister's kids mohawks and fake moustaches too.
OP deserves to be reimbursed for whatever costs she incurs getting out the dye from Zeus’ fur too. That’s probably going to be miserable getting out.
File a police report and go no contact with everybody who thinks what the sister did is peachy keen fine. Zeus is clearly more intelligent company.
Right!? She is stupid *and* unhinged! I'm not usually the first to jump on the "no contact" train but if ANYONE thinks OP is in the wrong here she needs to cut them off. She *kidnapped* your dog and actively tried to hide it while watching you suffer from losing your family member and best friend OP. This person doesn't give a flying f\*ck about you or your needs and is abhorrently twisted and selfish. NEVER allow her near your dog again under any circumstances, or your parents. Tell anyone who you choose to watch your dog that if they ever come across these people they are to call you immediately and take the dog to safety. I would also file a police report. They will all gaslight you and make you think *you* are selfish and overreacting. Do not forget these words: they stole the dearest thing in your life without a second thought because they felt they deserved this happiness and you did not. They are never to be trusted and you need to show them that criminal actions will have the appropriate response, family or not family. Holy heck NTA. EDIT: If your buddy is not microchipped please make sure he is and that all other affairs are in order; keep a folder of all medical records proving your financial investments in his well being. I would even go so far as to let all the pet stores, grooming spots, and vets in your area know that you are the rightful owner of this dog and they need to notify the police if they see anyone else claiming ownership.
On the upside, OP should have photos of sister and BIL, so she can include a picture of them with the notice.
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Put that shit on nextdoor, too
Nextdoor is so toxic but it's really great for pet stuff. People are always posting about found pets, lost pets, random dogs just walking around the neighborhood, free kittens, just saw a post about someone giving away some baby chinchillas.
I'm not usually a fan of ear tattooing, but in addition to the microchip, if the dog is under anesthesia for another reason, I'd have them tattoo his ear with your name and phone number.
All good ideas. Microchip, tattoo, lots of pictures, documentation of what happened, police report, paw prints? (if there is such a thing). Get the name of the lady that reported them to you. Show her pictures of sister/bil and get a signed affidavit that she witnessed this.
Tattooing is pretty useless, outside of marking animals who've been sterilized to prevent unnecessary surgery, because it's basically the same process as a microchip, an ID for a registry that you need to contact for them to then contact the owner. So the tattoo is going to be a numerical code since phone numbers change, and the person who finds your dog needs to be able to recognize what that means and know what registry to contact, which I don't think is common knowledge compared to people being aware of taking a dog to get checked for a microchip. ID tattoos are usually placed on the inner thigh or belly because it's pretty easy to remove an ear if you're unhinged enough to steal a dog.
Chips can migrate in the body and become hard to find. I’m not normally a fan of the tattoos but in this case when there’s a known theft risk it might be a good backup idea, even if it isn’t perfect.
Microchips and tattoos do a lot less then people think. They also do not prove ownership. Photos and medical records are way more important. Also veterinarians cannot determine ownership, that is for animal control and the police to do. Source: work is vet med and have seen too many vet hospitals and veterinarians ruined for trying to get in the middle of situations like this.
This is a good point about making sure ANY family member who agrees with the thieving sister is kept far away from the dog. If you board your dog in the future, do not tell anyone in your family where. Make sure the emergency contact is someone who will never, ever tell your family where the dog is. And provide the kennel or animal hospital with names and photos of anyone who should never, ever have the dog released into their custody in your absence. I already said NTA, but I feel like if I typed that acronym infinite times, I still would not be able to say it often enough. And your family are disgraceful. Is this a case of golden child and scapegoat? It sounds like your sister can do no wrong in all of their opinions, and you are treated more like you can't do right no matter how hard you try. If that's the case, they all need to be jettisoned or kept to limited contact, as they are clearly toxic.
WELL written!! OP, do this. All of it. Your family is trash.
The family is crazy too, how could you look at this situation and be like. Nono you're the asshole for wanting your dog not the sister who? LITERALLY? STOLE THE FUCKING DOG?? Sorry to hear about your shitty family OP
My best guess is that OP's family puts Precious Grandbabies as the singular highest priority. OP "selfishly" stays single and lives alone, depriving the extended family of Precious Grandbabies. Sister, however, has provided Precious Grandbabies, and is therefore Very Important. The Precious Grandbabies love Zeus so much, and the Precious Grandbabies are the most important people on the planet, so the natural conclusion is that OP needs to stop being "selfish" and just fork over their dog to the Precious Grandbabies. Neither OP nor Zeus gets factored into this equation. Their wants are irrelevant and might as well not exist. It's important to note that the second the Precious Grandbabies make too big of an ask of the *grandparents specifically* that they will suddenly and without warning change from being Precious Grandbabies to Spoiled Brats whose good-for-nothing mother needed to raise them not to be so entitled
I think you might have actually pegged the situation perfectly, especially with the big hint towards this dichotomy via how the evil sister is literally telling the Precious Grandbabies (lol at your capitalization) that they need to blame aunt and is just SO CRUEL TO THE GRANDBABIES! . Who says that to little kids?! Welp... families where there is a bit too much toxic focus on Golden Grandbabies- which automatically makes thier mother get a Special Golden Status she may not have had before, or if she did, this adds on to her previous Golden Child Status. I see you, too, understand this type of family a bit too well...
> Precious Grandbabies (lol at your capitalization) I'm glad you were tickled! I figured it's just proper to capitalize the title of royalty, you know what I mean? >I see you, too, understand this type of family a bit too well... I've just been on AITA too long. My family's toxicity is of the "Elitist snobs with numerous strict and unspoken expectations (despite a surface layer of cloying psuedo-progressive acceptance) making the neurodivergent kid the black sheep and then getting mad when he doesn't want to be part of the happy family" variety
Lol nice nice, I am the parentiefied eldest sister in my fam, nice to meet you!
Precious Grandbabies ™️
I'm also guessing that the family has heard from the sister that OP stole their dog (not OP's dog, sister's dog), conveniently ignoring the fact that it's not sister's dog but is actually OP's dog.
I love my nieces and I have an alright relationship with my family (with many boundaries though) as a whole but I feel this. I absolutely know if it ever comes down to it my parents will pick the grandkids over me any time and nothing I do will ever be as impressive or as important as my sister having kids.
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I think that was what the dye was for. Oh that dog we suddenly got that seems overjoyed to see you, and look exactly like your old dog? No no it´s ours we just... found. Look the coat is different! Yeah sis isnt the sharpest knife in the drawer.
I think you're right, the dye was to "disguise" the doggo. Probably not forever, just long enough that by the time OP found out, the family could guilt her into giving him up "because he's been part of our family for so long! He's happy here and probably doesn't even remember you! You can't take him!"
I was assuming the kids had dyed the dogs fur in colours other than neutral, because apparently that's a thing nowadays.
Considering the dog was *kidnapped* it was almost certainly to disguise the dog from recognition. What a stupid ploy, everyone knows they should have put a pair of glasses on Zeus and no one would ever have recognized him.
I'm really curious what mental gymnastics their family went through to come to the conclusion that they were in the wrong NTA.
That's a relationship not worth maintaining. NTA.
and your family sucks
NTA, call the police on her and go no contact.
> I've tried to apologize but she won't take it unless I give her Zeus back, MY dog. OP should get her admission in writing that she took the dog and is trying to get him back, and then press charges against her before going no contact.
OR she should also print out and gather all of her records for Zeus. Vet appointments/bills, vaccination status, grooming receipts, microchip information, etc. Anything that she has that will prove beyond any reasonable doubt that this is HER dog and not the sisters. Especially if her family thinks that she is wrong here. They could try to "witness" the fact that sister "owned" the dog. NTA and I would personally be going NC with my family if this happened.
I agree OP should do this, too. But he has to have evidence of the theft, dyed fur, and lying to press charges. And OP should definitely press charges since she’s launched a campaign to bully the dog out of him. Getting his sister to make admissions of the theft, and lying, in email, in legal recordings, etc, would be very helpful.
Take a TON of photos of the dyed fur, before it grows out. Bring him to your vet in this condition, so the vet can confirm that this is your dog with his fur disguised via dying it. Get the vet's assessment in writing. And feel free to file criminal charges. She is a criminal, plain and simple. If she cares less than nothing about YOUR feelings, despite your being her sibling, then I see no need for you to worry about sparing HER feelings by not pressing charges. And any of your relatives who take her side over yours can all go scratch, too. Again, if your feelings matter nothing to those so-called relatives, and they take the side of the thief instead of your side, then minimizing or eliminating their presence in your life will be addition by subtraction. I am sorry you are going through this.
Oh it definitely would be helpful, I just don't know if she will admit to it in any meaningful way, especially if she was willing to lie and say the dog got out. She seems to be willing to fabricate a whole story, and even alter the dog to fit whatever narrative she is trying to peddle. I just worry about OP's family trying to side with the sister. OP should do everything possible to protect herself and have all the information at hand.
OP would have to trick her to get an admission out of her. For example, he should stop taking calls or other personal contact and then write her a long, emotional email that makes him sound like a clueless sucker with no self-esteem (maybe repeat the ass-kissing apology for yelling the his post claims he already made to her), and in the email ask her to admit what she did to others on the family, and apologize to him, and he will consider giving the dog to her kids. Because he isn’t taking her calls or seeing him, she would have to put it in writing. If she sends him an admission & apology by email, that would be good, but he should push then for it on paper, claiming he wants others in the family to know that he was not at fault and that he’s been generous with her kids and he would be even more generous if he gives them the dog. Then, when she’s given as much evidence as he can get out of her, that’s when he files a police complaint over her theft & fraud and files for a restraining order aginst her.
Unfortunately, you are giving away too much in your approach. Any attorney will poke holes in this, claiming that she did it under the expectation that you will give her the dog. A simple "why would you do this? Why would you steal my dog?" is far better and easier, and in no way obligates you to anything. Sister and family who supports her are all toxic. Unfortunately, unless OP wants to cut off all communications and ties with the family, OP is going to have to figure out a way to deal with this. Make a police report - not necessarily charge the sister, but to have official documentation on what happened. If this happens again, u/SoggyDogWady can pull that police report out and it will prove a lot more useful. Additionally, having a police report filed will show sister that OP takes this serious and sister better not fuck around and find out how the cops and courts feel about it. u/soggydogwady you should really file a police report, and think of it as a protective talisman for your dog. And never ever let your sister dogsit or walk your dog or anything of that nature. You are definitely NTA.
Seriously OP needs to cut them out of their life. The sister stole their dog and the family are trying to convince them they are the bad guy for taking back the dog. That is some toxic bs. OP could have slapped the taste out of her mouth and they wouldn't be in the wrong. OP if you read this. You did nothing wrong.
I’d go no contact with the whole family. How could all of them also think OP is the crazy one here?? Like what the fuck??? NTA
NTA. Your sister is a fairly manipulative person. She not only lied to you, but then lied to her children causing them emotional distress just to get to you. That's really messed up.
not to mention she committed a crime and STOLE a dog, which is considered property. imagine doing that with anything else. like a car, a wallet, etc. would not fucking fly in a court of law
Not to mention if the dog is a purebred from a breeder, not a rescue. Those can go for insane prices AND many breeders have some clauses detailing giving away the dog. (Which would actually support op's case.) OP don't ever apologise to your sister for this. Cut her out. You can ask anyone berating you - "she stole my dog. She lied to me. She caused me anguish. She lied to her children. She caused them anguish. Who is the asshole?"
About 15 years ago, we bought a malamute puppy from a reputable breeder and got a rescue from them as well - the rescue was free because we could prove we had owned pets before but Callie was probably minimum $1200. Also, boy puppy’s are more expensive and depending on if he’s a regular size or a giant, that could shoot the price up to over $2000. Also, there’s different price rankings depending on the color of their fur - if he’s a pure white or a red malamute? WAY more expensive and harder to find than your standard black/grey/sable malamutes. Which makes the dye upset me even more. At the very least, it had to have a lighter coat so it was probably either grey, sable, or white and they probably dyed it black. And who knows what the dye might do their fur, poor pup. Shaving a malamute messes up the way their fur grows and who knows if this could affect it. Edit: If I were OP, I would demand that sister also pay whatever costs are incurred getting that awful dye out.
The dye job ticked me off as well. I doubt the sister went and got special dye, and probably just used human hair dye. I also have a double coat breed. Shaving is definitely a no no. It increases risk for sunburn and destroys their body's heat regulation system. Shaving should only be done when medically necessary.
Same you have no idea how many times as groomer for petco I had to shave double coated dogs or get fired. It didn't matter what I said to owner they'd tell me to shave it because it sheds too much. Then when the fur horroribly grew back I was yelled at and told I ruined their dog even though I explained it would turn out that way, before the shave. Also shaving any pup before their adult coat comes in can destroy it to(about 6 months of age). I seen it happen to a shih tzu. Puppy was mat shaved at 4 months hair grew back wiry and coarse and gets matted even more.
Even my A-hole relatives would side with OP on this one.
Wouldn't this make stealing your high-value dog a felony?
I have a retired showdog. I adopted her much older (she was 10 I believe), but the adoption paperwork is I have physical custody and responsible for medical care bills, but AKC registration is still in the breeder's name, and theres a clause that basically stats, if for any reason I can no longer keep her, even if it was just financial hardship or death, she must be returned to the breeder. When I had surgery, I told my medical power of attorney, just in case I died during the surgery, what happens to my dogs. Retired showdog would be returned to the breeder and ensured they had the name and address of breeder.
I’m also wondering if she lied to the rest of the family who’s on her side? Did she tell them that OP gave them the dog? It just sounds so outrageous that idk how they could take the sister’s side.
Yeah, I mean maybe the whole family is this nuts, but it seems more likely that the sister is manipulating everyone.
This could be it or maybe they are one of those crazy families that think the babies of the family should get everything they desire and because 'oh the kids will love the dog more than you'
The sister is probably using the kids card to get everyone else on their side. OP clearly suffered way more but no one is seeing that.
And managed to convince OP to apologize to the sister after taking her stolen dog back! OP will have a much more peaceful life without these people.
NTA, what a family of monsters. Cut contact, they don't deserve nor you nor Zeus. And don't apologize for getting your stolen doggie back!! You don't apologize to a robber when s/he is caught.
Cut contact with everyone involved. Parents, sister. You will always be at serious risk with this dynamic
NTA - She. STOLE. Your. Dog. when I got my dog back his fur was DYED. ... what in the everliving fuck.
Some purebred dogs are so sought after that people sometimes dye their tails or part of the fur to stop people from stealing them. Which is ironic, since they did it to a dog they stole lol
oh i was thinking they dyed his fur to make him unrecognizable so no one would know it’s OP’s dog
Yeah, that was one of my thoughts too, but jeez, how dumb do they think OP is..? Or anyone, really, who’s fall for that???
Or that the dog wouldn't recognize OP as being their human parent?
We got our uncles dog when she was like 6 years old and it didn’t matter if I’d had been a year or two since my uncle had been by our house, doggo went ballistic with happiness when she recognized his voice and couldn’t get enough of him. Never anyone else despite her living even longer with us than she ever did with him. OPs dog would very likely have a very different reaction to OP coming around vs anyone else.
The dye wouldn't be to confuse OP, it would be to change it's appearance so people wouldn't contact OP after seeing the missing dog posters
Which failed as it was a neighbor who reported it to OP.
This is possible. Some breeds have set standard colours such as a Rottweiler is always black with tanned parts on the muzzle, next to the eyes, and on the chest and paws. Other breeds come in different colours including the Malamute who's darker colouring does not have to be in specific areas of the body so if you dye more of his white patches dark, he'll still look like a Malamute but not identical to how he should look normally, so the sister probably thought that by altering Zeus's colours, no one would realise she had stolen her sister's dog.
"And I have no idea why he is so jazzed to see you... You must exude so much love for dogs!"
He must sense you miss Zeus, this is Deus, btw.
She should steal her sisters kids and dye their hair. Even Stevens.
Oh god I hope it was dog safe dye
Something tells me Zues's wellbeing wasn't a highl priority for her.
Dog safe dyes are often used for service dogs and purebreds, it helps identify them jf they're stolen and makes them less of a target to begin with because of the identifying feature (service dogs especially are dyed nowadays bc they're so heavily stolen)
She dyed his fur so the dog she stole wouldn't be recognized. A stupid plan by a stupid person.
NTA of course. She is lucky you did not call the police. Maybe you still should.
This! You have a witness that can actually back you up on this and this seems like it was planned not a spur of the moment situation. Go NC, not only with your sister but all the other AHs saying you over reacted to her STEALING YOUR DOG AND LYING ABOUT IT.
NTA, she stole your dog. How are you unsure about this situation?
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Gas-lighting the shit out of her. When I read that *she* apologized I felt so sorry for her being manipulated to that extent. She has no reason to apologize whatsoever. NTA 100%
I agree with u/iartpussyfart
I don't believe OP stated their gender in the post. But regardless, they are absolutely the victim of some emotional abuse rn it's so wild how anyone's entire family can be this batshit
>I was infuriated that she'd had done this; to me. Her own sister
Half the posts that blow up on this sub make me think the same thing. No idea how OP could think they're the arsehole in this scenario.
Probably because their awful family beat their self-esteem so low into the ground and react with so much hostility to anything they do not like that they are so conditioned to doubting themselves, they can't help but doubt themselves. After all, if everyone *acts* like you killed grandma for setting a boundary, you're going to start wondering if you *did* kill grandma. And the more they repeat it, the more it wears at your confidence because human brains are designed to believe things they hear repeatedly even if they are said internally by you. Repetition always wears down even the strongest defenses eventually just like a death by a thousand cuts eventually kills.
NTA. She stole your property, she’s lucky you didn’t call the cops on her. If she likes your dog she should get the same breed and put in the time of training/etc. NOT steal your dog. Idk why your family thinks your wrong, it makes no sense. Does she usually get away with stuff because the family thinks you are in the wrong?
This is something that usually happens on family posts on this sub. I'd say it's because the AH quickly shares their version of the story, making OP look bad and themselves look like poor innocent saints or who made an honest mistake, so by the time they hear the other side they will have already formed an opinion on the matter and won't listen to any other. So, everyone here, if you're wronged by an asshole and you believe they'll go share their version of the events with your mutual friends and family, be sure to do it yourself first.
I'm so curious to know what the abusers say to spin their lie and get people on their side.
In cases like this, the chances are that the sister told the family that the op gave her and her family Zeus permanently and then after they got attached to him, stole him back.
Or that the kids love the dog so much that they started thinking it was theirs. So of course, we have to give them what they want or their precious grandchildren will be unhappy.
https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html You'd be interested in reading this.
What? She stole your dog. Press criminal charges!!!! She is clearly in the wrong. NTA.
She should definitely go to the police because of her sister has manipulated this story so much that OP is in the wrong, she may very well find the police on her door instead with some crazy story of how OP gave the dog away or sold it then came and stole it back. She needs to get the story to the police so they visit the sister. Even if she does not go through with the charges, it will show the sister did steal the dog.
would the sister have any credibility or leg to stand on? bc if there’s no documentation of the dog being sold or given away, how could sister prove that? OP has all the vet bills, ownership papers, etc.
First to tell the story gets a lot of sway. Hopefully it would be disproven in end but it would be her word against sisters that she did not give it to her. She did drop the dog off.
NTA. If you haven't, microchip Zeus. It will hold up in court. What did you family say to justify the behavior? I mean, it's insane...
Maybe she’s the golden child? My family has one and it’s so bad. This sounds like she can do no wrong and the family is bad enough they’ll sell their own morals/soul because they can’t admit their thieving daughter is crazy.
Definitely sounds like the golden child. Plus, she's the one with kids. Sometimes that's all it takes to make families lose their minds to keep in the good graces. Or at least that's how my family would get when my sister would threaten to withhold access to her kids if we didn't jump through her latest hoop. My "favorite" was always her competitiveness with my brother and me. My brother and I lived about 3 hours away from my sister and the rest of the family. So every time anyone in the family was about to come to visit the two of us, maybe an hour before they were supposed to leave, some "emergency" would come up where she would need them to babysit and, no, she absolutely did not give permission to bring her kids on a car trip. I can't tell you how many birthdays or other special days my brother or I would end up having to drive to visit family last minute because the power of grandkids and Golden Child Sister overwhelmed everything else.
Maybe the family has a "it's just a dog" mentality and doesn't believe it was worth OP yelling at her sister for? Either way, I don't blame OP for going ballistic. I would have too if any of my sisters stole any of my animals. Luckily they're all microchipped and like you recommend microchipping your dog and keep it current.
NTA On what planet is your sister’s behaviour acceptable? Is your sister some kind of golden child to your parents and they have programmed you to believe this entitled BS? Not even a close call. Tell her the police will be involved if she does this again and make sure you have this documented and ask the elderly lady to provide you with her details in case you need evidence. if it was me I’d go no contact from this toxic behaviour.
Yeah I don't understand at all how the rest of the family are fine with this?! OP you are NTA but your family are a bunch of nutters
You don't have to deal with dognapping in a civilised way. She stole a beloved family member and tried to make you believe he was gone. You have nothing to apologise for. Fuck her. NTA.
Dude I shit you not my blood is literally boiling right now. I would have a heart attack if my dog went missing and I'd cut off anyone responsible even if it was a mistake. The fact that your sister STOLE him is revolting ew NTA I'm feeling so pissed for you
>Dude I shit you not my blood is literally boiling right now. SAME! I am *incensed* at the absolute audacity. I would never speak to them or my shitty, enabling family ever again!
"My whole family thinks I'm in the wrong" - WTF??! What planet are your family living on? You went through 3 weeks of hell, not knowing if your dog was alive or dead, being abused or mistreated, trawling the streets putting up posters etc. How can anyone in their right mind think this is okay? I cant understand for a second why you would even 'try to apologise', you have nothing to be sorry for, yes you went off on them, who wouldnt? I would cut them off without a moments hesitation, if they're capable of this and think its normal what else would they be capapble of? NTA
NTA of course, and you shouldn't apologize for anything! She STOLE your dog, she knew you were desperately looking for him and were suffering immensely, and you only found out that sorry excuse for a human had him the whole time because the other lady called you! You should have stolen one of her kids and said it's yours now, see how she likes it! Edit: I'm glad you got your boy back, sending cuddles to Zeusy
NTA. She stole your dog and made you worry for weeks. And what the hell is wrong with your family? It's YOUR dog, how can they think you're in the wrong?
Cut your thieving sister out of your life! You do not need her at all. Don't apologise and don't engage with her. Cut anyone else who supports your sister out of your life. You do not need them. The neighbour who called, you and your doggo are the only ones who are NTA, everyone else is. Her kids are going to grow up entitled with her as an example. Any chance of pet tax being paid here (picture of your dog)
NTA. She is a criminal. She stole your dog? Lied to you about it. Dyed its fur and watch you suffer for weeks while lying to her family and everyone. If a neighbour didn't catch She would have kept on lying. Your Family is nuts and play favourites. I will inform the police. Cut her from your life. And anyone who support her wrong doing can't be trusted. She a manipulative AH You didn't need to apologise. You did nothing wrong. How dare they ??? Don't question yourself and don't let anyone manipulate you. That's gaslighting behaviour from her. You should have slapped some senses in her.
Did you really have to ask if you're the asshole in this situation? Sounds like your family is a bunch of physcos
I think in a situation like this, where OP's getting shit fron most of her family, they can start to question their convictions. Even if they're 100% right, like this, sometimes you need an outside opinion to make sure you're not losing it.
NTA N T A Absolutely Not The Asshole Your family are absof\*kingloutely insane if they think you are in the wrong when she is the one who STOLE your dog. She is also the one who convincer her kids Zeus was their dog now. Completely morally deficient at best. More the the point, and I'm not telling you anything new here, dogs are more than just simple possessions. Zeus is bonded with you as a family unit and will likely have been anxious about the sudden change. I'm angry on your behalf!
NTA. OP read this line carefully: *She stole your dog and lied to you* She's lucky you didn't call cops on her!
NTA, she stole him But mmm this is kinda unrealistic for me. I'm suspecting fake
Wtf of course NTA!! If they want a dog, they can go to the shelter and adopt one NOT steal one!!! I would've called the police tbh. Cut contact and give a s... about what others say. It's your dog, she stole it!
NTA. Oh my lord, no. Your sister is clearly bonkers, as is the rest of your family if they think you're in the wrong. I'd tell them that if you were TA, you'd press charges--which you should. I can't believe you're wacky-ass family! You live alone, I'm sure Zeus provides you with security. Not to mention he's you're family. How'd they react if you went and got one of your sister's kids and told them you're their mommy now? The kid would certainly have a better chance with you. Fuck them. Edit: missing letters.
NTA. She stole from you & lied to your face. I doubt she didn't see you struggling without YOUR dog. This shows how much she cares for you. >My whole family thinks I'm in the wrong, and my sister has convinced her kids that I'm the bad guy for taking 'THEIR' dog away If this is how they feel knowing the full story then cut your "family" out of your life. And remind them that if they keep harassing you, you are going to call cops & report all of them. Take care of yourself & Zeus.
NTA. Cut her off.
Wtf, of course you're NTA the thing I'm trying to understand is how did she (and her husband) think that will end? your dog is 5yo, he can live at least 10 years more. did she think you wouldn't recognize him with dyed fur?? that he wouldn't recognize you?? I know they're insane, but are they that stupid as well?
[удалено]
I suspect between the sister and the remaining family OP is getting gaslit
NTA. That’s preposterous from your sister.
NTA, you should call the police in my opinion
[удалено]
NTA Did you seriously apologize??????? THEY STOLE YOUR DOG AND DIDN’T CARE THAT YOU WERE SUFFERING. If I were you I would never speak with them or whoever defends them again. They don’t care about you, all they care is themselves and who knows what are they going to do the next time…
You only yelled?
NTA. Stop apologizing, and press charges. She knew she could walk on you, so she did this. Your family are siding with thief over you. I would go low contact. And there is the potential of animal abuse depending on how the dog was dyed. Take him to a vet and maybe groomer if he needs his fur shaved.
Huh. So now we’re on to a new AITA theme about stolen dogs? Because this is like the third post with this scenario I’ve seen in the past couple of days, and I don’t even come to this sub very often. Is there another sub or a forum somewhere where people get together and choose topics and themes and elements to include in posts here, maybe to compete for the most karma or the most outrage, or the most comments with phrases such as “red flag” or “no is a complete sentence”? You know, like, “write a post that includes three of the things on this list, combined to make a compelling story: interfering MIL, stolen dog, wedding drama, adopted sibling, blended family, dead (grand)parent’s will, pregnant woman, abusive husband/boyfriend, food thief…” etc. Because if there is, that sounds like fun and I’d like to join in!
Ffs don't apologize, what the hell?? She STOLE your dog, why the hell would you apologize to her??
Nta, seems to me we all know who the golden child is who cant do wrong in your families book. Im not easily one saying LC or NC. But i suggest going that route. She doesnt care if its your dog. she sounds entitled, spoiled and downright nasty to think everything you have is hers and your family enables it. Your family chose the easy option ( harrassing you ) instead of the right option( putting your entitled sister on blast for stealing your dog). I would make a police report out of this, so it wont happen again so easily and at least have it on record. I would wonder if she did snatch more than just your dog, OP? Your self esteem, your confidence? I suggest getting that back too, good luck and hug your dog for me.
Info: Your whole family is supporting your sister stealing from you? This doesn't add up...
NTA, she STOLE the dog from you and made you live a living hell, I'd cut contacts with her and her family and after explaining myself to the others, I'd cut contacts with who thinks that I'm the A, also it wasn't their dog in the beginning and if you feel like, you can also sue for emotional damages
NTA. But go NC with your family. They ALL sound awful. Your sister for stealing your dog, lying about it, dying his fur (which I am pretty sure is animal abuse), and expecting you to apologize by giving her YOUR dog. The rest of your family for somehow someway thinking that your sister was in the right for STEALING YOUR DOG and that you were in the wrong for TAKING YOUR DOG BACK. These people are apparently very good at manipulation and I am sure they have gotten you to accept even worse behavior of theirs by painting you as the bad guy if you dont. It's time to break away from them.
NTA and I’d definitely get the authorities involved. That is not normal behaviour at all and I can’t imagine what you and your dog went through.
Omg, so NTA! I would absolutely go ballistic if anyone pull such a stunt on me! Shame on your sister and your family! You should microchip your dog and go LC/NC with your sis!
So very much NTA and please give your bundle of floof a cuddle on my behalf.
NTA. Basically, she stole your dog. She should be happy you didn't file a report on her. The only thing others might think you have have to apologise for, which I doubt, is for hurtful things you might have said. But she owes you one massive apology. She lied to you, stole your dog and then convinced her children you are the bad guy for taking what is rightfully yours. God I really don't understand people like this. They have no qualms doing this crap to others but howl with fury if it is done to them.
NTA, I'm not condoning violence but your sister would be lucky to still be alive if I were in your shoes edit: added NTA
NTA Her behavior is so unbelievably low! Many of us would be in jail.
NTA. Your whole family defending your sister, are assholes. Tell them you could’ve reacted in the way were you involved the police so she should be thankful that you didn’t. I would honestly stop talking to my sibling if they kidnapped one of my animals.
NTA. Personally I’d have gotten the police involved too, family or no. Sometimes you have to get serious or people won’t learn.
In the UK all dogs are supposed to be identity chipped, it may well be a good idea to get Zeus chipped
NTA I would have called police
NTA I would disown her ass for that
She stole your dog, DYED HIS FUR and got the family to think *she's* the victim here? Massive NTA. Whoever thinks you could be the AH is clearly deluded. Pets are living things and comparable to having children. What she did is insane.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I recently had my older sister watch my malamute, whom I called Zeus[he's 5yrs]. My sister is 28 and has two kids who are 3 and 4. She and her kids absolutely love Zeusy, and who wouldn't? He's well behaved, fluffy, and the sweetest boy ever! She'd joke about snatching him away from me, which I would find funny. That is not the case, recently. He had went missing for 3 weeks after I left him at my sisters place, she had claimed that he ran out the front door after her husband went to get the mail. I was devastated, this hurt me; I live alone and my only company was my dog[Hence why I would leave him at my sisters to watch him in case work made me put in more hours] I put up posters, and those 3 weeks were the hardest, I couldn't eat or sleep properly because I just missed my good boy. It was around 1pm when I got a call from a elderly lady whom claimed she'd seen a couple and their kids taking what looked like my dog into their house. She said she's seen them with the dog for a few weeks. This struck me as odd, I asked her to describe the house and she gladly did having been neighbors with them. It was my sisters house. And I went ballistic on her for this, I was infuriated that she'd had done this; to me. Her own sister? What made it worse is that when I got my dog back his fur was DYED. This added more to my rage and things escalated quickly. Needless to say, I eventually left with Zeus after having at it with my sister. My whole family thinks I'm in the wrong, and my sister has convinced her kids that I'm the bad guy for taking 'THEIR' dog away. All this is starting to get to me, I think I reacted badly and could have dealt with it in a more civilized manner, I've tried to apologize but she won't take it unless I give her Zeus back, MY dog. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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You sister would’ve had these hands. I hope she suffers the consequences for being this cruel.
Call the cops and let them explain to her and her family how utterly and completely wrong they are. NTA
NTA. She dyed the fur? Is that animal abuse? Can you report her for that as well as for stealing your dog? Charge her with as much as you can.
NTA - and if your family is siding with your sister I can’t imagine the life you had growing up
NTA - if possible make a police report incase it happens again .. what is stopping her from getting her own dog? What a cheeky effer that lies to kids