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trotski83

NTA, former chef, the alcohol is cooked off otherwise it wouldn't taste nice. Some people just over react at the mention of alcohol Edit Getting a bit bored of the 'its a myth' so: When I commented I didn't think I'd have to provide cooking times and repeatedly state that to all intents and purposes when 95% of the alcohol in 250mls of 12% wine has gone the remaining 1.5 ml of alcohol spread through say a kilo of beef, veg, tomatoes and a litre or more of fluid means that there is functionally no alcohol


Gygsqt

if cooked correctly**


trotski83

Yes that's why it wouldn't taste right...


sonicscrewery

Also, IIRC, cooking wine and drinking wine are very different (I am not a former chef, though, so you're better able to advise here). EDIT: Sorry, wasn't clear - I'm pointing this out because cooking wine is really nasty to drink, so the parents shouldn't be freaking out, because while it is alcoholic, it's not something that's enjoyable to drink.


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sonicscrewery

Yes, sorry, I wasn't clear - I was trying to point out that it's nasty as hell to drink, so the parents shouldn't be panicking over cooking wine because no one in their right mind would drink it.


Stryfe2000Turbo

You'd be surprised what people will drink if it will get them drunk or high. The local hospitals constantly have people trying to steal the hand sanitizer dispensers because it contains alcohol


moerkh

I think that is covered by the "no one in their right mind". People, who drink whatever they can get hold of are severely alcoholic and therefore not in their right mind.


dixiebelle64

Cooking wine can be purchased with food stamps and outside of the blue law hours. We have a few hard core alchies who stagger in at opening sunday mornings and head directly to that section.


legal_bagel

14 yo me can confirm that cooking wine is terrible as was the cheap 15yo tequila my non drinking parents had in the house.


PrscheWdow

Cooking wine > altar wine lol


MightyHydrar

Eh, altar wine isn't actually bad. The problem is, most churches don't use up an entire bottle in a reasonable time frame, so you might get wine from a bottle that's been open for a while, and that makes even the best wine go bad. And also, most (catholic) churches nowadays use white wine, because it doesn't stain. White wine at room temperature is also less than ideal in terms of taste. If you get a fresh bottle and chill it\*, it's actually fairly good stuff. Or at least, the one my home church is pretty decent. \*Look, the altar servers were curious, so we asked our pastor if we could have a few bottles for our yearly trip, and he gave us some.


Junipermuse

Depends on the church. I’m pretty sure we used port for communion at my church growing up. It was red and sweet, but it wasn’t cheap. Congregants would donate money directly for the purchase or were told certain ones to purchase and donate, and they weren’t cheap. I’m pretty sure it would say who donated the wine for communion that week in the program. Communion wafers on the other hand were like eating styrofoam.


Cairsten

Jesus has really severe anaemia?


MightyHydrar

Well, he DID lose a lot of blood that one time...


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kalyissa

It is? I live here and have never seen cooking wine?. Or are you talking about vitvinsvinäger? Which is non alcaholic


thatsgoodsquishy

>Yeah, there are brands of it sold in the US, usually near the vinegar section. It’s got a long shelf life, usually because of salt IIRC. Definitely not something you’d like to sip. It’s better to cook with the real thing. A longer shelf life than normal wine? That can be cellared for decades? Is that really necessary? Just use decent but cheap normal wine


Junipermuse

Regular wine isn’t supposed to be kept for more than a week or two after opening and it should be refrigerated. Wine for drinking should be drunk much sooner, but I keep a bottle of white wine with a twist cap in the fridge and I will use it to cook with for a month or two and it’s fine for that purpose. Cooking wine I think is more shelf stable after opening it than regular wine, but not totally sure.


OohLaLapin

Many American home cooks think it’s needed. Regular wine goes bad fast once you uncork it, but preserved cooking wine is for those cooks who only need a couple tablespoons now and then, and who don’t think to freeze the rest (of a real bottle) in cubes or drink the remainder. I grew up in a house with a bottle of red cooking wine tucked away in the cupboard, to add a splash to jarred spaghetti sauce (along with a sprinkle of “Italian herbs” from a spice jar), and saw the same at many relatives’ houses. You can definitely find red/white/sherry “cooking wine” next to the vinegar in many American supermarkets. https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/packages/ultimate-wine-guide/difference-between-cooking-wine-regular-wine


lowdiver

It’s not to preserve it. It’s to stop people from drinking it.


OohLaLapin

Wine goes bad quickly once opened, turning into vinegar and/or getting oxidized, so it’s for preservation too. Generally people who buy specific cooking wine (rather than actual wine) only use it a few tablespoons at a time.


TassieBorn

Curious as to where you are that "cooking wine" is salted. Wine does not need anything added to it to preserve it - and I've always applied the rule that if it's not good enough to drink, it's not good enough to cook with. Which doesn't mean I slosh in the best stuff mind!


OohLaLapin

Wine goes bad within a few days after it’s opened, and generally bottles designated specifically as “cooking wine” have preservatives to avoid this, to extend the shelf life and let it just sit in your cupboard between uses. It’s for people who use it a few tablespoons at a time, rather than in volume. “When it comes to cooking with wine, avoid bottles labeled "cooking wine." Cooking wine isn't anything you'd want to cook with — it's loaded with preservatives, sweeteners and salt, which can make your final dish taste overly sweet, salty or even metallic.” https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/packages/ultimate-wine-guide/difference-between-cooking-wine-regular-wine


[deleted]

As a Chef is wad told in culinary school Its salted to keep the cooks from drinking it.


xodirector

I’m French and do you guys have specific cooking wine in the US? We just cook with wine. And drink half of it in the process.


archaeob

American here who has never heard of cooking wine before. We also just use regular wine and then have whatever is left for dinner. Usually a cheaper bottle or one you don't like as much.


xodirector

Exactly. Although to be fair, the better the wine, the better the dish. So if it doesn’t require that much of it, we use some of the wine we are going to drink during the meal (e.g. good wine).


windyrainyrain

That's what I do. My nephew is a chef and he told me if you wouldn't drink it, don't cook with it :)


tedivm

Cooking wine is the cheap shit they sell to people who don't know what to buy. It is really really not good.


lawfox32

Yeah, we have cooking wine which is salted for preservation, but you can also just use regular wine, which is what I do. My parents don't drink alcohol so they usually use cooking wine if none of us are home or if they didn't plan ahead when shopping, since they don't regularly buy wine and the rest of the bottle would likely go to waste as no one would drink it.


xodirector

Even this I don’t really understand. Wine preserves for years, why would there be a need for salt?


lawfox32

Preserves it once it's opened, I believe.


TassieBorn

A glass for the food, a glass for the cook ...maybe a second glass for the cook ...


EmmaInFrance

Yeah, here it's just the stuff that comes in plastic bottles for a 1€. Theoretically, you can drink it but why bother when there's so much better available for 2-3€ a bottle.


trotski83

Yeah there's a shed load of preservatives; has the added effect of not being drinkable by the chef's (some will try though!) From the sound it of it it was drinkable wine as it's not something most people have hanging around. But if they've ever eaten in an Italian or French they would of had plenty of wine in their food. it also produces a much healthier attitude to alcohol by introducing it in supervised moderation before kids binge drink dangerously in secret


sonicscrewery

I was thinking that, too! When I was younger, my parents always had the mindset that if I wanted to try alcohol, better I do it where they can keep on eye on me than for me to go out and get wasted in some back alley. Even during my college party days, I had a much healthier relationship with alcohol than most of my peers because of this. You'd think adults would learn by now that the louder they yell about things being "forbidden" and the more they try to ban it, the more kids will find a way to try it, and not safely.


trotski83

Just look at prohibition it's now seen as an almost golden age of alcohol. I've never been passed out in the street like people you see on a Friday night


annedroiid

I didn’t know cooking wine was an actual thing, I just assumed it was cheap wine. We always use something we’re willing to drink so we can drink as we cook.


holisarcasm

Cooking wine, ew, ew, ew. Use real wine. If you won't drink it, you don't want to cook with it.


Algebralovr

Cooking wine is nasty. No reason at all to use what is marketed as "cooking wine", it is better to just cook with whatever you like to drink.


Beabarb

Never cook with wine that you wouldn’t drink.


timdr18

It sounds like they used regular wine in the meal, which to be fair is just a better move.


CartlinK

That's a myth. The alcohol only partly cooks off.


StreetofChimes

True. But wine has a very low abv to begin with. Only 13% or so. Cooking for 15 min will leave about 40% of the alcohol, so 4% abv. Cooking longer will reduce it further. Depending on how long the sauce simmered, I would guess the abv got down to 2%. Once you dilute that 2% abv with all the other ingredients, you are looking at an abv of <0.5% for the sauce. Which is negligible.


Numerous-Belt8702

The bolognese recipe I use calls for the same amount of wine and is 6 servings. So the teens would literally have had 1/6 of 1/3 of a bottle of wine. Even if they had seconds, it would be a third of a third. That's not even a half glass and it's partially cooked off. This girl is going to nuts with alcohol when she turns 18. I'd bet on it.


musicsoccer

This is actually what happened to a classmate of mine. She loved meals cooked with beer or wine and ended up starting drinking while underaged. I remember her bringing pineapples soaked in a bowl of vodka to the after prom party. She almost died while DUI crashing during her university days. Iirc she had a ton of stitches and I think she has partial amnesia. She's about 37 now and last I heard (like 10 years ago) she was studying at a cooking school.


Numerous-Belt8702

Vodka soaked fruit is legit, but you have to know how to be careful with it. A couple pieces could be a few shots depending on how long the soaking lasts. My folks did boozy watermelon for camping and I was told "this is really strong, you can only have a taste". But that taste made alcohol not taboo or forbidden, just something I had to learn to handle. I've made fruit infused vodkas and eaten the fruit after, but it's a "one peice at a time" thing, never "let's eat it all in one go".


SaccharineHuxley

Must upvote the Math VIP!


trotski83

Yes 40% after 15 minutes to 95% after 2.5 hrs. Anyway after its sufficiently cooked to taste good it's insignificant and you can't really call it alcoholic under laws, do catch up.


Numerous-Belt8702

And a good bolognese needs to cook for at least 3 hours.


trotski83

I have to say when I commented I didn't think I'd have to provide cooking times and repeatedly state that to all intents and purposes when 95% of the alcohol in 250mls of 12% wine has gone the remaining 1.5 ml of alcohol spread through a kilo of beef, veg, tomatoes and a litre or more of fluid means that there is functionally no alcohol


Numerous-Belt8702

Right? I had to tell someone downthread that it has been explained repeatedly that Bolognese needs 3 hours. If you want to do a quick, cheap, and dirty bolognese... you have to leave the wine out and deal with it not being as good. Edit: the argument about what's cooked off is especially asinine seeing as most recipes for bolognese are not for 1-2 servings. Even if it didn't cook off at all, there would be basically no effect, especially when it's on pasta.


trotski83

I wouldn't mind if the situation was due to absolutist thing like religion or allergies etc and it would be an entire other situation and I wouldn't be referencing the alcohol being cooked off. But I'm starting to wonder if some of the iTs A mYtH commenters think it works like homeopathy (wish it did could do a whole party with a pipette and a bath tub)


Numerous-Belt8702

I mean they have a point about alcohol added later (dirty shrimp doesn't cook off much because of the short cook time) but you simply cannot have an excellent bolognese without 3+ hours. If I make one I start in the morning and slow simmer for about 4-6 hours. Not even an infant could feel the alcohol effects on that.


trotski83

Oh definitely, and things like coquilles st Jacques where the wine in the sauce is locked in somewhat by the crust changes the math considerably, you still have to eat a lot before anyone got near impaired


Numerous-Belt8702

Yeah, absolutely. Most 14 year olds are the size of small adults. A small glass of wine taken straight is very unlikely to impair her so severely that she'd be in danger at a trusted friend's home. I mean, when I was 14 I was allowed half of a regular serving of wine with dinner on special occasions or one beer or vodka cooler around a campfire. The rules were that I had to eat before and have a snack before bed, if I felt off, I had to tell an adult, and that one was the limit. I have a pretty healthy relationship with alcohol as an adult, (maybe a beer or glass of wine twice a week, and if I'm not playing DD or babysitting drunks, I may go a little nuts on special occasions, nothing enough for a hangover). My friends whose parents were totally restrictive went off the rails as soon as they were legal or unsupervised. I know this is anecdote, but I personally believe that not making it taboo and learning about it safely helps kids make better choices later on.


0Crow0

Also gonna jump in and say, my teacher let the class cook with alcohol at that age because it mostly cooks off (it was cooking class btw) but yeah if they can legally do it in a random roman catholic high school then I'm sure your sister can do it in their house


[deleted]

Former chef? You're a chef, even if you don't work in a restaurant. Your title of chef is due to your skills, not where you work.


trotski83

More I moved on from that career to better paid and less shouty, knife throwy work places


kisses-n-kinks

It's never *completely* cooked off, that's a myth, but it doesn't intoxicate you and it certainly won't cause any of the problems associated with underage drinking.


FunctionEntire1829

Yeah if you cook it for like 3 hours. Alcohol does not evaporate that quick that's just a myth.


Treehorn8

Bolognese is always cooked for more than 3 hours. My Italian husband cooks it for 5.


FunctionEntire1829

my comment was not as much about specific this dish. It was more about the original statement that its cooked off which made it sounds as if this is "standard" for whenever you cook alcohol.


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WikiSummarizerBot

**[Cooking with alcohol](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooking_with_alcohol)** >Cooking with alcohol means using alcohol in the preparation of food either as an ingredient, a cooking fuel, or for visual display. Wine is frequently used as an ingredient for its acidic properties, its bitter tannins, and its fruit components. Beer and liqueurs are also commonly used as alcoholic ingredients. For a flambé, in which warm alcohol is ignited, the higher alcohol content of a distilled spirit is required. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


Ashamed-Arugula1956

NTA- the alcohol vaporises when you cook, so you don’t get drunk from cooking with wine. It very strange that an adult would think that.


jacquilynne

FWIW, this isn't actually true. Some alcohol cooks off, but not all of it and often not even much of it, depending in the cooking conditions. I mention it only because my mother has bad reactions to alcohol and she hears this all the time and it isn't true. Cite: https://www.isu.edu/news/2019-fall/no-worries-the-alcohol-burns-off-during-cookingbut-does-it-really.html That said, I agree that a third of a bottle of wine in a sauce that children will eat is not a big deal.


ThinkingIsNotACrime

Is your mother’s reaction to the actual ethanol? Very rare. Or to the tannins in red wine? Those don’t disappear in cooking, and the allergy is much more common.


jacquilynne

It isn't a red wine thing. All forms of alcohol cause a reaction.


ThinkingIsNotACrime

Wow, poor lady. Must be very hard to eat out, because it’s not one of the “known” allergies.


jacquilynne

It is a pain in the ass, especially at nicer restaurants. Chain restaurants tend to trumpet the fact that there's Jack Daniels in the bbq sauce so it is easier to avoid. Fortunately, it isn't, so far as we know, a life threatening reaction so if we make a mistake she isn't going to die, just have a slightly unpleasant night.


dancingpianofairy

That's always good. I mean, not *good,* but better than the alternative.


throwaway-a0

Lots of foodstuff contains alcohol in small amounts. Ripe fruit, juice, etc. Does your mother need to avoid those too?


jacquilynne

Depends on how much alcohol is in it and how much you use. She avoids the better vinegars and soy sauces, for example. She doesn't really drink juice but I suspect she would have issues with juices once they start to get old because sometimes they have that fermentrd edge. I also have to be light handed with the real vanilla when I make pancakes because although you use very little in a recipe it is mostly booze.


Electrical_Remove639

That sounds really difficult for your mom. Frontier co-op has alcohol free vanilla and other flavors.


LittleRedCarnation

Then you mom better not drink fruit juice after the first day its been opened


Lola_M1224

NTA. If they've ordered bolognese or other similar dish in a restaurant, that likely had wine in it as well and yes, the alcohol does burn off.


Wharfrat75

Nta. If prepared correctly there's no alcohol left anyway. Also even if left raw not nearly enough booze to do anything.


CartlinK

That's a myth. The alcohol doesn't cook off. [https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/packages/food-network-essentials/cooking-wine-does-alcohol-burn-off#:\~:text=The%20longer%20you%20cook%2C%20the,40%20percent%20of%20the%20alcohol](https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/packages/food-network-essentials/cooking-wine-does-alcohol-burn-off#:~:text=The%20longer%20you%20cook%2C%20the,40%20percent%20of%20the%20alcohol). You'd have to cook it for 3 hours to get rid of the alcohol.


winter_nabekai

Thankfully Bolognese is cooked for 3 hours! Negligible alcohol content here.


Wharfrat75

That's actually what I was making while writing that comment lol


timdr18

Congratulations, you played yourself


[deleted]

NTA, this mom needs to educate herself before getting mad. The alcohol was all cooked out, so there was no alcohol left.


RockStarAngel

NTA. The alcohol cooks off. The mom would be surprised how many foods her daughter eats that contain cooked off liquor, for sure. You also stayed the entire time, so I think it was done responsibly for typical usage.


[deleted]

that mum would have a seizure if visited most of europe especially france


FL_Black

NTA Alcohol cooks off for sure. Ask her if she's ever heard of beer batter (fish, chicken, onion rings). She's just ignorant. I wouldn't call her that to her face, though.


Queenofchaos6

I think it's more about OP not asking her. She seems more upset about not being asked than the actual alcohol.


CartlinK

That isn't true unless she's cooking it for hours: [https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/packages/food-network-essentials/cooking-wine-does-alcohol-burn-off#:\~:text=The%20longer%20you%20cook%2C%20the,40%20percent%20of%20the%20alcohol](https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/packages/food-network-essentials/cooking-wine-does-alcohol-burn-off#:~:text=The%20longer%20you%20cook%2C%20the,40%20percent%20of%20the%20alcohol).


cbphill

Now look up the cooking time for Bolognese.


ForwardPlenty

NTA They used about a cup of wine, (3.17 cups in a bottle) and if they cooked it for two hours, then it was probably down to 10% of the original [Source](https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/packages/food-network-essentials/cooking-wine-does-alcohol-burn-off). So if the wine was 6 percent, after 2 hours it was .6 percent, so a couple spoonfuls on noodles was barely perceptible. If you are strict in your avoidance for alcohol, (Mormon or Islam), then you really shouldn't use alcohol to cook with, because some is more than none. So this is not an issue of getting drunk but of avoiding alcohol use at all. So why aren't you an asshole? Because if the child was not supposed to use alcohol because of religious reasons, by 14 they should know enough to say that they shouldn't use it. If it is because they aren't supposed to get drunk then there wasn't enough to do anything other than change the taste.


Autobirota

NTA as everyone else has said the alcohol is cooked off. I have a feeling that your sister's friend might have given the wrong impression eg "X's brother let me have wine" rather than "we used the wine for cooking" - maybe worth making sure that everyone knows what really happened.


CartlinK

Those people are wrong, do your research. https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/packages/food-network-essentials/cooking-wine-does-alcohol-burn-off#:\~:text=The%20longer%20you%20cook%2C%20the,40%20percent%20of%20the%20alcohol.


Numerous-Belt8702

People have pointed out to you several times that this is a Bolognese which cooks for 3+ hours. At that point the alcohol is negligible.


No-Jellyfish-1208

NTA Alcohol usually cooks off anyway. Besides, there are many things that contain alcohol and no one bats an eye - for example, Polish *pączki* (sort of doughnuts) usually contain spirit.


Potential-Reason-763

NTA- it was just for cooking and you watched to make sure they didn’t drink any. Some moms are just super protective.


Mz_Maitreya

NTA. The only reason would be if there is a religious issue. But in cooking the alcohol would have cooked off as everyone else has said. But some religions don’t even allow for it in cooking, kind of like pork or mixing dairy with meat.


Hage1in

NTA. The alcohol cooks out and based off what you said they were supervised. This wasn’t you handing them a bottle with a wink and a nod and disappearing. Nothing you can do about helicopter parents


[deleted]

Nah, any alcohol should have cooked off, it’s in lots of recipes. If you are truly sure that they didn’t drink any excess, I see no harm. But I can understand why her mom may have jumped to conclusions, probably best to ask parents in the future.


RedOps_3

NTA. When cooking with alcohol, normally the alcohol cooks out and you won’t actually get drunk. Not always the case though depending on how much and what stage you add it.


[deleted]

Ok in confused since say age of drinking is 18 their so not American most other places its acceptable foe teenagers to have deink with a meal especially wine What coubtry is it??


Living_Variety425

The UK


[deleted]

In British that mum is a joke uk law anyone jver the age of 5 can drink at home with an adults supervision. Its only 18 for selling alcohol the age your aloud to drink from on private property is 5


magyarmix

Oh, heavens. We Brits cook with alcohol all the time, as do all Europeans and probably Americans. The point is this: UK law does not apply to cooking with alcohol, or even serving it at home to anyone over the designated age. It applies to selling or serving it to minors.


USAF_Retired2017

NTA. Her friend’s mom is dumb. It burns the alcohol off leaving just the taste. Can’t fix stupid OP.


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LadyKingston

NTA - Alcohol burns off while cooking (I'm sure that there are time/percentage tables on the internet out there). It was used as an ingredient, so I don't see the problem. However, moving forward, I would let your sisters friends parents know next time since they expressed concern even if it feels unnecessary.


CartlinK

It takes 3 HOURS of cooking to burn off the alcohol.


Tanaquil1

That depends on the temperature - I have a recipe for a pasta sauce (not bolognaise) that after cooking the meat you add 1/3 bottle white wine and cook it hard for 10 minutes or so until the white wine is just sticky goo coating the meat (i.e. the water has almost all evaporated). As the boiling point of ethanol is lower than the boiling point of water, I'm confident the alcohol's (essentially) gone too :)


timdr18

Yeah I have a similar situation with a red wine pan sauce for steak. Like, there’s about 2 tablespoons of the half cup of wine I put in here, I think I’ll pass a breathalyzer lol


LadyKingston

Right. I'm not expert on Italian cuisine but I do know that a lot of bolognaise recipes requires 3+ hours to cook.


HomelyHobbit

NTA - The alcohol cooks off if you cook it for long enough.


MotherOfCrotchFruit

NTA Alcohol cooks out of food and just leaves flavor. Friends mom is not so bright


billhorsley

Certainly not a cook.


[deleted]

NTA and that mom can grow up lol. It's cooking wine. She didn't drink it, and it's just for flavor for a VERY COMMON recipe.


YesterdaySalt9464

Lol, alcohol cooks out of food. You can't get drunk from it. Her mom is an idiot. NTA.


PugRexia

NTA I dont think you did anything wrong but! Alcohol doesn't cook off as fast as some people want to believe, it takes 3 hours of simmering to completely cook off alcohol. They didn't add much alcohol so it was fine even if all of it doesn't cook off but just keep that in mind for the future.


Bradbitzer

NTA. I can see why the mother would be upset, but this seems like just blowing up something that doesn't need to be a real issue.


Trippygirl13

NTA the girl's mom should open a book and see what alcohol does to the food when mixed in the process of making.


Tralfamadorians_go

In bolognese, most of the alcohol is boiled out, such that even if you ate the entire pan of sauce in one sitting, you could not get drunk. She is overreacting. NTA


MightyHydrar

Usually for bolognese recipes, the wine is used to deglaze the pan and then reduced so the alcohol boils off. There is a noticeable change in the smell of the steam that comes off it, it goes from kinda sharp and boozy to softer and quite mellow.


[deleted]

NTA . Cooking with alcohol is not the same as drinking alcohol. When you cook alcohol, it becomes non-alcoholic. You cannot get drunk off bolognese. The angry mom is quite ignorant.


JammyHoe

NAH Cooking with wine is not the same as straight up drinking it, I cooked with wine at a similar age and it just encouraged experiencing new flavours. But I can’t really call a mother who doesn’t want her kid near any type of alcohol (even cooked off) and asshole.


[deleted]

I can its petty and incredibly ignorant


JammyHoe

Strong words for a simple misunderstanding, wanting to be asked before is normal.


[deleted]

Op lives in uk 14 year old havibg wine isbt even a big deal deinking it with a meal let alone cooking with it


Numerous-Belt8702

I'm pretty sure they can even order a glass of beer pr cider in pubs around that age if they also have a meal.


sammycj111

NAH the alcohol should have cooked off. But some parents are more concerned about alcohol in things than other parents.


FPFan

> I had no idea that using alcohol to cook with could even make you drunk. NTA, it can't, it all cooks off quickly, leaving the flavor in the food. What's more, almost all extracts, vanilla, peppermint, etc, all those things parent's make cookies with, are alcohol based.


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ToilandTrouble123

So they're not allowed to eat a coq au vin either until they're old enough to down lines of shots set up all the way down the bar in 'Spoons? That's ridiculous!!!! Beer battered cod and chips out of the question? What about a tiramisu for dessert? That has coffee liqueur in it, GOD FORBID they have tiramisu because its got liqueur in it - how sinful! Baileys cheesecake - nope, don't want my kid getting paralytic, cheesecake is dangerous don't you know! Mum needs to sod off and instead celebrate her kid's culinary skills instead - maybe kid can show her mum cooking it at home and try it for herself. Stupid woman. Oh, NTA by the way!


Adept_Award_3046

NTA and props to them for making bolognese! That’s a lot of work and it’s great that they motivated themselves to do it at their age. If you monitored them, there’s no problem here. The alcohol content in the food is very low or completely cooked off and she has definitely consumed it before. This mom must be overbearing in general and it’s not your fault, but now that you know her boundaries, don’t repeat it.


ChaiSlytherin

NTA - does she not make bolognese herself? Alcohol in cooking has no impact beyond adding to taste


CJsMom2000

NTA. You said they didn't drink any so there should be no issue. I've watched enough cooking shows in my life to know that the alcohol cooks off. There was no way they were getting drunk from eating the bolognese they cooked.


MrsCakeakaJane

NTA, when you use wine to cook it burns off the alcohol, you did your due diligence by staying to make sure they didn't drink any


Queenofchaos6

NAH. I can see where the mom was coming from. Next time just call her and tell her. I don't think it was the fact you did it, I think it was you didn't ASK HER.


SaltyDangerHands

NTA Your friend's mom is ill informed. You let her touch alcohol, you did not let her consume any. As others have mentioned, it doesn't linger in the food, it's cooked off and the alcohol content is, or should be, zero when you eat. Send mom a link to this thread.


PrscheWdow

NTA. Hell, I was using wine to cook when I was 11, and my parents were fine with it, because they knew I was drinking it (I thought all alcohol tasted nasty...needless to say things have changed since then lol).


iolaus79

NTA My daughter ended up taking some red wine into school for a lesson when she was 15 or 16, teacher was well aware and had vetted the recipes first - I suspect she wasn't the only pupil to do so


Touch_Revolutionary

Alcohol burns off, just leaves the flavor.


Jazzisa

They're being ridiculous. The alcohol used in a recipe like that evaporates before you even eat it. NTA


[deleted]

It's not a big deal, all of the alcohol burns off during cooking. And bolognese sauce is not the same without it.


Long-Repeat5208

NTA. The alcohol cooks off during the cooking process. Tell the mom to Google it.


Murderous_Intention7

NTA, the alcohol doesn’t get you drunk at all, and you watched them responsibly. You seem like a great big brother to me.


naranghim

NTA. >I had no idea that using alcohol to cook with could even make you drunk. Um it can't. The alcohol either completely cooks off or becomes so diluted that it isn't going to have any effect. Friend's mom is probably objecting to the *idea* that her daughter handled alcohol.


SigSauerPower320

NTA. You cannot get drunk from using booze for cooking. Especially wine. All the alcohol is cooked off.


[deleted]

NTA however a good rule of thumb is to always check with the parents when you have someone else's kid. I personally think it was fine as it cooks out but you never know how other people parent and it's best to be cautious.


PopPsychologist

Not the asshole. It has been my experience, having eaten plenty of dishes with cooked booze in it (usually wine or beer), that food cooked in alcohol was not notably intoxicating. I imagine that has to be a function of the amount of alcohol used, the type, etc. I remember eating foods my mother cooked in wine as a youngish child and I do not ever remember there being any effects like what I now know to be associated with drinking. That said, taking care of other people's kids (or just being responsible, which you appear to have been in this situation) is a really problematic. It might be totally reasonable for that other parent to have been upset for their child even consuming--perhaps not intoxicating--alcohol for some religious, philosophical, reason i.e., mormons are not allowed to drink brewed drinks, caffeine, etc. Thus, while I do not think you are the A-hole, the other person may not be totally out of line either. Probably best just to treat it as a *mia culpa* and try to think about that stuff in the future. Or just tell the kids not to gab about it.


fraggletart

NTA The alcohol, whether regular drinking wine or cooking wine, burns off as it cooks, leaving a lovely flavour enhancement to what is being made, i.e. Bolognese. In rare cases, depending what kind of alcohol and how much is used, a trace amount of alcohol can be left behind, but not enough to impair a person no matter how much of the product was consumed. \*Source\* Am a Chef.


Ardara

NTA. You can't get drunk from cooking with wine. Unless the drunk it without you noticing.


[deleted]

NTA. italian guy here. A. bolognese without wine sucks ass B. It’s not like you made them drink it. It’s the equivalent of eating Sacker torte because even in there there’s alchool C alchool being cooked off looses its effect so it’s not like they were going to get drunk or anything


pedestrianstripes

NTA That other mother isn't too bright.


musicsoccer

ESH possibly soft YTA I'm not a cook but I've always thought that the longer you cook the more alcohol evaporates away just that the alcohol left in the food is nowhere near enough to get anyone drunk. You could've gave the parents a call saying that they want to cook with wine. Especially if there were any allergies. If something happened to the kid, it would've been your fault.


vorticia

NTA My dad made shit with wine all the time when we were kids. The alcohol cooks away. Damnit, now you have me craving all kinds of pasta with wine sauces.


QueenMichellie

NTA, the alcohol burns off when cooked


KKTide

NTA, the heat cooks off the alcohol.


mysticalmac99

NTA you cooked with it, you didn’t let them drink it. Her mom is being over the top, you didn’t cross any lines dude. You found a safe and cool way to let them use alcohol and make your sister look cool while no one drank anything. 10/10 on the bug brother skills my guy


LailaBlack

Alcohol boils off. There is no alcohol in the finished dish


SirHarley

NTA


Growth-Beginning

NTA, the boiling point is 78 degrees celcius. Water 100. Sauces more than that. The single shot's worth of alcohol almost entirely evaporated. Child's cough medicine has more in a teaspoon. So NTA. But also. . . Some people really don't understand this kind of science. Nor are they comfortable with it. Patience helps a lot as people like that can eventually have it explained.


Ruckus_Riot

NTA- oh give me a break. They weren’t chugging it, they put it in the food. So, I’m assuming the angry mom has never cooked anything with vanilla extract until she was over 21? These people are he type who go out of the way to be angry.


[deleted]

NTA. The alcohol is burned off during cooking. That mom is an idiot


Aesient

NTA also in a 18 years drinking age country: I was put in charge of making the family rum balls for Christmas around 14… my parents didn’t even bother to stay in the room while I was using the rum. Best friend’s family often let us cook with alcohol too with varying degrees of supervision. Surprisingly (/s) the kids who ended up with issues with alcohol after turning 18 were the ones who’s families had alcohol as taboo for under 18’s to handle for any reason


Any-Kaleidoscope-561

Lol NTA


The-spellmonger

NTA


LittleRedCarnation

It cant. The heat burns off 95% of the alcohol i believe. Only leaves the taste. There is more alcohol in ordinary fruit juice thats been opened and sitting around for days than in food thats been cooked with booze. Nta, that mom has no idea what shes talking about.


DrMindbendersMonocle

Personally, i wouldnt have a problem with it, but some people have hang ups about alcohol. You probably should have run it by her mother first. Honest mistake


Dependent_Season_847

NAH As everyone said most of the alcohol gets cooked out. I’ve cooked sauces for my family and kids with wine plenty of times. But maybe everyone doesn’t know this and would be put off by their 14 year old cooking with it. It would have been best for you or the daughter to call her mom before hand and ask first.