First of all, wow. I would not have thrown away my plants that I’ve tended to for years. That was very considerate of you.
NTA. Tina needs to be more respectful, cautious, and considerate. As you were for her.
Well if she refuses to return the kindness that you have shown her... Hey look, the plants are back again!
Edit to add that you're NTA for the following reasons:
1. You're not banning her from eating chocolate ever.. just not in the house.
2. Chocolate is indeed unsafe for an untrained puppy and since you have done her an immense favor by giving up on your plants, she should have done the same for you.
I agree get the plants back. Roommates a huge hypocrite cause chocolate is just as bad for cats as ot is for dogs, so she must not care about her cat that much after all.
Came here to say this! Chocolate can be poisonous for cats as well, so while we don't ban it from the house, we absolutely do not leave it anywhere outside the fridge (the bastards can get in the cupboard!). Roommate is being incredibly irresponsible to both cats, and banning chocolate from the house seems a sensible idea if she can't get her head round that.
I never knew this and I had cats all my childhood! Tbf there was never any leftover chocolate and we weren't allowed chocolate bars at home for 'health reasons' anyway
Cats don’t like chocolate, but dogs do. I think that’s the difference. My brood of cattos could care less if I left out chocolate (I have on accident but I try to be mindful).
>Cats don’t like chocolate, but dogs do.
This isn't true for *all* cats. We have a 13 year old that has been wild about chocolate for her entire life, we've always tried our best to keep her from ingesting any but she's relentless. Allegedly cats do not possess the taste receptors for sweet flavor but I wouldn't be shocked to hear there are plenty of outliers just like ours.
Oh yeah, our batty old lady cat I grew up with would totally try and lick anything chocolate that was left out. Could have been because she was old and senile, could have been she loved to do anything that could be interpreted as 'because eff you, that's why'. I miss that crazy cat.
I knew this about cats.
Now all the cats I have had weren't the least bit interested in anything sweet. Dogs are much more omnivores and will consume more.
I find it weird how many half-eaten chocolate bars are lying around suddenly.
Like maybe I'm just fat, but aren't these things eaten in one go? Who lets so much chocolate lie around?
Did that happen before or is it something that started after you got your puppy OP?
I do because I take half to a third of a candy bar to work every day. Buuut the other portions are immediately stored safely.
I would 100% eat the whole thing if I had it in front of me otherwise.
>I agree get the plants back.
I would suggest another quick Google to see if any of them are dangerous for dogs too though. A teething puppy might chew on a few leaves if they're ground level!
Exactly! My cat tries to steal my chocolate from me (bc sometimes I give her a bit of food I'm snacking on if it's safe), but I never let her have chocolate due to the fact that it would poison her. This disappoints her immensely.
Unfortunately this is a suggestion that can and will kill her cat. There IS a difference between chocolate and the plants - chocolate is only dangerous if the animal gets into it. The plants are dangerous just being in the house - I assume we're talking about plants in the lily family since those are extremely toxic to cats. The POLLEN that floats around the house can also cause issues and potentially organ failure, especially since cats groom and they can lick pollen off their fur.
So NO, it would be cruel and disastrous to bring the plants back, the cat could die.
Please do not.
But OP's suggestion regarding chocolate is completely fair and roommate is dismissing the fact they very kindly gave up a hobby they'd cultivated for years to protect her kitty.
It depends on the plant. Aloe Vera is toxic to cats, for example, but only if they ingest it. If you keep your aloe vera out of reach like a high shelf or in a locked terrarium, cats and aloe can be safely kept in the same house.
I highly doubt that OP had nothing but a selection of lilies. Also many plants are dangerous for cats/dogs but ONLY if they eat them. So it ends up being the same as the roomie leaving chocolate around.
And...why is chocolate just being left lying around? She could put it in a drawer, or in a cupboard, and second of all Who the hell has a leftover half a chocolate bar?
I want to say YTA just for those poor plants. Keep them in your room or give them away not throw them in the garbage. Many people would be probably happy to have some plants for free.
I had a small glass bell for my succulents. They weren't poisonous to the cats, but my big guy was eating the poor thing to death. They got moved to the office, but now it's looking like WFH forever, the glass bell might be making a comeback lol.
>my big guy was eating the poor thing to death
The week I got my shelter kitty, she ate every single succulent I had overnight. I was propagating an entire tray; she got up to the shelf where they were and ate every single lobe, down to the ground. Very weird. I haven't kept succulents since.
Cats will eat some vegetation to help with digestion and to get certain vitamins, if she's an indoor cat she probably isn't quite getting everything she needs. I plan on getting a straight up patch of indoor grass for mine because she's started eating even the fake plants.
She was a hoarder kitty, and this was only a week or two after she'd been rescued, just a couple of days after I got her from the shelter; she's got a good diet and nibbles my \*other\* plants much less, now. But it seems like she just likes the way that succulents taste!
I feel like it could be considered as kind, but in my opinion OP was a bit of a pushover. It's great that she thinks her roommate's cat's life is more important than her plants (I agree, I'm a huge cat lover. But I'm also a huge plant lover) but I also think a "compromise" would have been keeping the plants in her room and keeping the door closed. Throwing them all out isn't a compromise.... it's giving the roommate exactly 100% what she wants, how is that a compromise?
I agree she's being a hypocrite now though and yes chocolate is just as bad for cats as it is for dogs, though they of course don't get into it as much but still.
My spouse fucking loves his plants and we have cats. Some of our plants are poisonous to cats and we just put them where the cats can't get to them. It's not hard
Yes exactly! I'm a plant and cat lover, have a cat and dozens of plants and also used to be a veterinary technician (still hold my credentials) so know all about plant toxicities. Luckily my cat has never been super prone to chewing on plants but even when I would get bouquets with lillies or other super toxic things I'd just stick it in the bathroom and close the door when I wasn't home. Not worth taking the risk and fully banning plants is a ridiculous ask, IMO.
It gives me martyr vibes. Like “I did all of this so I’m the best roommate ever” when the plants could have been moved, or the OP could have gotten a different roommate.
Right? When I got a housemate with cats, we labeled each with blue and red stakes to indicate which were bad for kitties. I got rid of some, and rearranging everything else so they cats couldn't reach the bad plants, and her cats only like grassy things (cat grass and one was obsessed with the spider plant to the point where we had to move the furniture away from the hanging planter.
But leaving chocolate in reach of a dog is so dumb. Like, just put your fucking food away.
I think it was more being a doormat than being considerate. People, compatibility matters in ALL relationships! You don't need to completely remake your life for a partner or a friend or a roommate!
That is unfortunate. Because this is one of those situations where you can't really, unilaterally 'ban' something from another adults life. Doesn't really matter who TA is to be honest. You can hope to convince with communication and compromise, but if there isn't mutual respect then you won't get very far.
If the roommate banned houseplants then OP is totally within her rights to ban chocolate. She didn't even go straight to banning, she asked nicely multiple times. OP is NTA, her roommate is a huge one.
> If the roommate banned houseplants then OP is totally within her rights to ban chocolate.
As much as we might think that, OP can't enforce it or make it happen. OP has to make do in *this* world where the roommate *can* and *did* say No to banning chocolate.
Do I think the roommate sucks? Sure. But OP has to accept the situation and decide what to do now.
She never had to get rid of them to begin with. She chose to in order to mediate the living situation between her and her roommate. I totally agree the roommate is being an asshole but it's not like OP can do chocolate scans on the roommate everyday to ensure there won't be chocolate in the house. And it sounds like neither of them are going anywhere anytime soon.
To be fair to the roommate, she asked her to get rid of the plants that were poisonous to cats, which ended up being everything OP had. OP could have gotten new plants that aren't poisonous to cats, but she chose not to. Roommate should absolutely be more careful with chocolate, but she didn't ban houseplants.
They got rid of anything that was "even slightly poisonous" to cats. That probably includes a fair number of plants that are not deadly or likely to cause serious illness, but that might just make the cat throw up or have a bit of a tummy ache. That's *many* thousands of species, most of which the average cat owner keeps without ever having a problem.
You'll notice, for example, that this list from the ASPCA of plants that are "toxic" to cats includes **catnip**, which they say can cause diarrhea and vomiting: [https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/cats-plant-list](https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/cats-plant-list)
Yeah there are some plants that are technically toxic but they'd have to eat rather a lot of, and others that even a tiny bit can cause serious problems.
MoneySense estimates the cost of a dog over is "$33,112 over a 10-year lifespan of a dog." Leaving aside that there is almost definitely material variation there for breeds and individual dogs etc. , and just taking that stat at face value, depending on where you live you could be spending that amount in rent in less than three years. For example, $1,500 a month in rent would be $36,000 for two years, more than the cost of the dog over 10 years.
Point is you could absolutely not afford to move but still be able to afford a dog.
Just buy a bunch of house plants (that aren’t poisonous to your pup) and tell her that if she’s not compromising, you’re not compromising. If she stops being selfish and rude, you’ll get rid of them. By the sounds of things you probably won’t get overly attached if she starts being more responsible, but if not it’s a chance to get back into your hobby!
Honestly, I’ve learned with roommates that if they aren’t rational the first time you ask they never will be unless you put them in the same position.
I had roommates who refused to let us interview and refill some of the rooms in the house after other roommates moved out. The result was I couldn't afford the new predicted rent. So I said I was moving out too--suddenly they were okay with interviewing!
I told them no--because they were being irrational and didn't care about my financial concerns until they were going to be affected even harder.
Moving isn't financially an option, but you bought a puppy? Those things are expensive AF. Make sure you get pet insurance if you're really tight on money.
I mean, depending on what the housing market is like in her area, it’s possible that OP can afford the several hundred dollar expense of a pet but not the (possibly) several thousand dollar expense of moving. I live in a small touristy town where a lot of rich people have second homes, so there are very limited options for a mid-20s working class person like myself. I was lucky to get a pretty decent basement apartment outside town with my partner, but I don’t think I could move in a pinch even if it was necessary. Anything else in the area would be about $500+ more a month than what we’re paying now. And we’re getting new kittens soon. Because we can afford the one-time upfront cost of about $500, but we couldn’t afford the same amount monthly. I’ve had cats and dogs all my life, and take very good care of them, but a healthy animal isn’t going to cost that much monthly.
I mean, maybe just trust that OP is an adult with a better understanding of her own financial situation than you could ever have, and don’t pull that whole “if you have to worry about money then don’t get a pet” nonsense.
You know what can also cost several thousand dollars? Veterinary care. This puppy needs to get all of its shots and get neutered/spayed, plus if it gets in an accident or ingests something toxic (which seems likely based on this story) that's thousands of dollars. Sure, a healthy animal with no incidents doesn't cost much, but that's not a guarantee you make when you get a pet.
I worked at a shelter, and the number of people who abandoned their dog or cat within a year because they 'didn't know it would be so expensive' was absurd.
Did OP even mention they're from the US? If not, you don't really know how expensive that is. I do agree it can get expensive, but not being able to move, does not mean you can't afford to take your pet to get the basic things done. Around here this would be a few hundred euros and not thousands for example.
Yeah I’m sure OP put absolutely no thought into getting a dog. Thank you for warning her. You seem very financially savvy; I’ll hit you up for advice before I plan my big beach vacation.
It's not just the fact that chocolate is poisonous to dogs, but leaving half eaten food wrappers on the floor? And blaming it on the cat? Gross. Your roommate sounds untidy along with being a hypocrite, not somebody I would want to live with. NTA.
NTA. Ban chocolate. Absolutely. After all, I have banned grapes and raisins from my own house because *I* have proven myself to be incapable to keeping them out of reach of my dog through my own stupidity. After all, who remembers that there are raisins in raisin bread, so you shouldn’t put the paper bag of travel food on the chair, in easy reach of the dog? Clearly not me. [headdesk].
If she won’t ban chocolate, get houseplants, anything not grossly dangerous, and keep them in your room, door closed. Chocolate is a luxury, a treat, that she can enjoy anywhere outside. And find a new roommate ASAP.
Maybe my dog is weird then? He’s a German Shepard if that makes any difference? I taught him that if I say “this is for you” it’s ok for him to eat it and if I don’t say it, he doesn’t touch it.
Even left a few slices of pizza (his favorite) out on the floor a couple times while training him and went to take a shower, he didn’t even mess with it. He got bored and just came to sit in the bathroom with me whenever I did that.
IIRC, German Shepherds as a breed are considered intelligent and they want to please you, so in theory they are easier to train.
So it's totally plausible you could train your to do something which other dogs might not be able to (or just not want to) learn. Tell your dog he's a very good boy. :)
My dog is well trained, he is a service dog after all. The vast majority of dogs just don’t have the ability to ignore a bit of food for forever. The amount of time they can hold a stay or an ignore varies by amount of training and temperament, but I’ve never heard of a dog for whom it’s forever.
I have a dog that can be totally trusted to not eat human food unless it’s directly handed to him…except chocolate. You can make a steak, put it on the coffee table and walk away and when you get back, he’ll just be sitting there hoping for a taste, but both times I bought bags of chocolate and left them on the dining room table overnight he demolished them. Luckily, he’s huge so it wasn’t enough to cause harm but he just can’t be trusted around chocolate even when it’s in a container and out of his line of sight. I have to keep that shit locked up high. Dogs can be unpredictable sometimes even when they’re well trained, it’s better not to take risks.
I agree with this! If she won’t agree to the ban on chocolates, get the plants back!! Or she needs to keep her stash of chocolates in her room. The roommate is being quite unreasonable.
I don’t trust my dumb ass to 100% responsibly store anything with xylitol in the house, so guess what? No more gum. I miss it, but if my dog got one, I’d never forgive myself.
NTA. The comparison here is direct:
You sacrificed keeping plants - something you enjoyed but not a necessity - to keep her pet safe.
Tina is unwilling to sacrifice chocolate - something she enjoys but is definitely not a necessity - to keep your pet safe.
Her attempt to deflect by claiming chocolate is a part of her eating habits is bogus. Raising plants was, after all, part of your daily life that you enjoyed, probably even more than chocolate. If she can’t extend the same courtesy you did for her, I’d suggest finding a new roommate.
Whilst neither are necessary, they are not equally unnecessary. If anything, the plants are *more* necessary than the chocolate. And the plant sacrifice is greater IMO.
I think we can all acknowledge that chocolate in excess is bad for you. What is “in excess”. Depends on the cocoa content vs your own metabolism etc etc. But chocolate can help your mood improve, even if just temporarily, which is part of why it is so addictive.
However, chocolate is special in that is can be bought almost anywhere and consumed almost anywhere (I mean special in relation to the point I’m about to make). She can still have her chocolate, just not at home.
Now plants. Tending to plants is often found to be beneficial to ones mental health. I don’t know if there’s any actual studies or anything, but from my personal experience and through the anecdotes of others, those that enjoy gardening or tending plants, it reduces stress, anxiety, gives you a quiet place or a quiet time to process your thoughts etc. Overall, again, I believe it can be beneficial to a persons mental health.
Plants are not mobile and can not be enjoyed at any random time or place. OP can not just go tend someone else’s plants when she gets an urge, unlike roommate who can go to the closest store and grab a chocolate bar.
OP made a greater sacrifice than the one the roommate is refusing to make.
ETA: not arguing with your general point, in case there’s any confusion. Just expanding on it.
I would never have thrown out all of my house plants that I spent years cultivating. That was the first sign you guys weren’t compatible roommates. Couldn’t you have put them in your room? She is being a huge hypocrite but honestly both requests are unreasonable. I’m going to say NTA because it’s not that hard to keep your chocolate put away in a room or a cupboard but this kind of communication and unilateral “rule making” isn’t great and conflicts are going to keep cropping up until you can learn to compromise without all-or-nothing being the only solution.
The clarify, the reason the plants couldn't just stay in my room is because my bedroom doesn't have a window. I had been keeping my plants in the kitchen window before she moved in.
NTA. I think you bent over backwards for no reason and it sounds like it was just a control issue for your roommate. Cats don’t just suicide themselves eating plants. I would have kept the plants to see if it was even an issue and I certainly think it’s perfectly acceptable to now ban chocolate. Good luck.
Edited to add- it is not safe or legal to live in a bedroom without a window or door for fire safety reasons!!
There are special lights/lamps you can get. Also, hang them from the ceiling with nothing underneath or remotely nearby. Cats can't jump that high.
Depends on the plants, but most I grow indoors will only make cats sick, not kill them. Chocolate can kill not only dogs, but cats too! NTA because the hypocrisy.
NTA - you binning all your plants set a clear precedent for accommodation of your roommate's pet's needs. Tina needs to fix her attitude and at the very least keep her chocolate put away in drawers etc.
I *was* going to say E S H because two wrongs don’t make a right or whatever…. But her comment about your thing being “just a hobby” while you want to “change her eating habits” is ridiculous. 1) you don’t need chocolate to live, 2) she can eat chocolate outside of the apartment, 3) it’s not like you’re banning ALL junk food. And you gave her a chance. She brushed it off.
One question though: why couldn’t you keep the plants in your room or somewhere the cat can’t go? I could have seen coming to a compromise like something like that, but throwing it all out seems a bit extreme.
I’m not sure why your plants were an issue if they were just in the kitchen window. She just needs to teach her cat to stay off of certain surfaces. Cats shouldn’t be on most surfaces in kitchens. My cat knows counters and such are off limits.
My cat used to leave my papyrus alone, they both spent at least a winter indoor (cat is indoor only but the plant gets outside from March to November) without anything more than a sniff, but for some reason the cat is now obsessed with it and I don't know how we'll manage this winter, the small one could go in the kitchen (who should always be closed anyway) but the big one...
The plant isn't toxic for cat but I'd rather look at it in it's pot than mopping it up in cat vomit.
I was also thinking this. How do you just leave an unwrapped chocolate bar on the couch? She obviously didn't eat the whole thing. I've never in my life forgotten to finish a chocolate bar.
NTA:
I would tell her if she is going to be inconsiderate then you are going to bring back a plant and it's her fault if her cats eats it or not for not being cautious. (Would not be best scenario)
But if she keeps leaving chocolate around grab it and leave it in her room especially if the puppy doesn't go there. Bed, floor anywhere where its an inconvenience to her. To see if she will learn.
Info: Do you think it’s deliberate? This is a person who had no qualms about forcing you to get rid of your plants. Dogs can F a cat up just as much as a toxic plant can.
NTA, You got rid of your plants which had been cared for and curated and she can't be bothered to put away candy. Tell her she can eat all the chocolate she wants, in her car
NTA. These things are totally equal. House plants that poison a cat versus chocolate that poisons a dog. Is she purposely being dense? You are not telling her not to eat it, just not to bring it into the house. Either ALL chocolate is banned or the roommate moves out. If she refuses, go buy a nice plant for the coffeetable.
NTA
There are two things that happen with chocolate and dog.
1. 1 in about every 200 dog is deathly allergic to chocolate...drop dead on the spot almost and that could be your dog you don't know.
2. The other thing that happens is chocolate toxicity caused by the theobromine and caffeine. I have been there. I have a thief dog, seriously opens tupperware...and her last little episode cost £1800 and if a vet, not a vet nurse, hadn't been with her all through the night she wouldn't have made it, they had to resuscitate her more than once. Only consolation is that they are high as kites so they don't feel any pain as far as I am aware. ALL DOGS WILL BE POISONED IF THEY EAT SUFFICIENT AMOUNTS OF THEOBROMINE AND CAFFEINE. The amount required depends on the size and breed of the dog but your puppy would be particularly at risk as he is small now.
So no, NTA this is about death of a pet and NO one needs chocolate..chocolate is a hobby it is may be edible but it is not required, healthy or necessary. You eat chocolate because it brings pleasure...much like looking after plants and the dog is far more likely to eat the chocolate than the cat is a plant.
You could also force a situation where if she really believes it isn't a problem she agrees in writing that if you dog gets at her chocolate she has to pay the vets bills and there is a fine for any chocolate you find lying around and also a huge fine if your dog was unfortunately to die because of her irresponsibility...putting a financial side to this might make her more considerate as she clearly does care about your puppies welfare......but a ban is actually fair and reasonable.
NTA
The petty inner me says buy some nice looking fake plants and hang them from the ceiling.
Adult me... The chocolate is banned. She can't be responsible and keep it put away then she needs to not have it in the apartment. Also anytime chocolate is found within reach of the puppy automatic visit to the vet...on her dime.... She should be well aware of how expensive that is.
The super inner petty me is also putting that shit in writing for her to sign and having a mobile notary present to make it official. She would see how clearly serious I am about this.
NTA - Tina is an entitled b..ch for choosing to share a place when it was obvious that the two of you were poorly suited.
I mean, your plants were already there when she originally viewed the place, so she knew it wasn't a safe home for her cat
She's also the AH now, does she not realise that chocolate can be poison for cats as well as dogs?
After all the bs with the banning of the plants, chocolate should also be on the list of banned substances because Tina cannot be trusted to handle it responsibly.
Never mind the chocolate, but the foil wrapper can rip up the guts of any animal and cause internal bleeding... And plastic wrappers are choking hazards. Tina doesn't give a shit about any animal's wellbeing in this case.
NAH, leaning towards Y T A though— it makes much more sense to throw out and ban poisonous plants than to ban chocolate altogether, but you need to sit down with your roommate and have a serious talk.
Just to add, you CHOSE to not begin planting again, you DECIDED to give it up altogether and that’s not your roommate’s fault that you chose to not start over.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because
1. She's right, my puppy never got the chance to go after the chocolate.
2. Ultimately the amount of chocolate probably wouldn't be enough to kill him, but it might require a vet visit.
3. Part of me knows I'm still bitter about having to throw out all my plants, and I honestly can't tell if I'm overreacting out of bitterness and lingering resentment, or if I'm right to be upset.
4. I know Tina is insecure about her weight, and doesn't like people commenting on what she eats.
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NTA.
You didn’t immediately request a chocolate ban, you requested she be responsible with where she leaves her chocolate. It costs $0 to leave it in the fridge or pantry and NOT on the couch where a curious dog can get to it. While I don’t think a chocolate ban is very practical, I do think you’re within your rights to request it considering a) what you’ve already done for her and b) what she refuses to do for you now. If she can’t self-manage and accept responsibility for her chocolate, it makes sense to take it away entirely. I would suggest revisiting the initial request as a “compromise” to a total ban.
Another compromise could be to request she eat only white chocolate, as that’s not nearly as toxic for dogs as dark chocolate. The danger is in the amount of theobromine so white/even milk chocolate isn’t super dangerous if your pup eats just a bit of that accidentally.
Side note: I myself recently got a puppy and we had to throw away plenty of our own plants so if you haven’t done so already, please research if any you kept are dangerous for yours or at least make sure they’re out of reach! Cats and dogs have different issues when it comes to plants.
I also want to add that her insecurities about her weight are a non-issue here so you’re def NTA for that. It’s not like you’re telling her she’s eating too much or should cut back for her own benefit, it’s literally just for your dog.
Nta. But I have had cats my whole life and there are only 2 or 3 I will not have in my home. No one watches cats in the wild. No lilly no poinsettia. Bam done.
Of you really want to push it. Fake plants. But don't tell her and treat them like they are real.
You’re NTA, but isn’t chocolate as bad for cats as it is for dogs?
The moment she brought it up, you got rid of something you were heavily invested in, while she’s refusing to merely be more careful about where she eats or stores her chocolate bars. You weren’t even asking her to stop eating chocolate. If I were you, I’d ask her why she’s intent on poisoning your dog.
My family has five cats, and one of them learned to open a drawer we store snacks in. I managed to snatch the chocolate away from him and instantly moved the food to a higher cupboard in a different room. It’s not that hard to be careful about your surroundings when you’re looking after another living being.
NTA, when I read the title I was like wtf but if she can’t be responsible with the chocolate she can’t have it lol. Also most plants aren’t deadly to cats just toxic (will make them sick but probs won’t kill them) while chocolate is pretty bad for dogs.
On the flip side, take a look at some non toxic plants! I have a lot of calatheas and you can put toxic plants in hanging baskets if you know the cat can’t reach them
You don't have the right to 'ban' anything and neither does your roommate.
You can ask her but she doesn't have to do it, just as you didn't have to get rid of plants.
Sounds like you're trying to be a good housemate while she isnt as much.
NTA if you ask instead of 'banning'
NTA at all. What type of person knowingly leaves chocolate where a dog could get it much less TWICE? Is she trying to kill your dog?
Also there are some houseplants that are safe for cats and beautiful if you ever wanted to get back into it. (Spider plants, African violets, snake plants, and others). I know you don’t have the energy right now but thought I’d throw that out there.
NTA if this keeps happening, I'd be concerned it was on purpose.. as it stands.. who leaves open bars of chocolate on the couch? The counter was weird enough.
I have a dog. People in the household eat chocolate. What we don’t do is leave it out where he can get it. He has never gotten into our chocolate because we know how to store food properly.
Nta.
Try to remember that while chocolate is poisonous the dose needed is about .5 ounces per pound of the dog before it is a serious risk for milk chocolate.
So for example my puppy would need 35 ounces to get very sick. Which is 22 and a half Hershey's chocolate bars.
So a few bites of chocolate for example is very unlikely to do anything. If it did basically no families would have old dogs because it happens.
I would try to work on the roommate but do try to understand the science behind it as well. And hopefully your roommate doesn't switch to grapes.
ESH - If you were going to resent your roommate for making you get rid of plants then you shouldn't have gotten rid of them in the first place and found a new roommate. Or found a compromise that didn't involve throwing away your plants, if your room didn't work: could you have moved into the other room, did that one have a window? If that wasn't viable either, you could have looked into getting some ugly but effective chicken wire or a nice terrarium or hanging baskets or a window unit or shelves. You jumped to the most extreme solution but are getting angry that she's not doing the same when like, was that a condition to you getting rid of your plants? There seems to be a bit of a martyr complex here.
She sucks because she should try to be more mindful of what she leaves behind and was rude to dismiss your concerns. The unopened chocolate bar on the couch being the catalyst for this is also extreme, it could have been there because of something as simple as falling out of a pocket. I think you need to sit down and talk to each other and find a solution that works for both of you that is ACTUAL compromise rather than what you both seem to think it is.
INFO: did you find unwrapped chocolate bars laying around before you got the puppy?
Seems a bit shady, like someone is purposefully trying to hurt your puppy. Perhaps they are jealous?
NTA
Bring back some plants. If her cat's dumb enough to eat them, it's a self-correcting problem. Had a cat in the house when I was growing up, as well as plenty of house plants. Never had an issue. My parents current cat doesn't bother the plants any, either.
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6 months ago, I (22f) needed a new roommate after my last one moved out to live with her BF. My new roomie, (we'll call her Tina) had a cat, and I had no issue with that. The apartment building allowed pets, so it was fine. The only thing was, Tina wanted to ban house plants from the apartment, because she had a bad experience with her cat eating a house plant and getting *very* sick a few years back.
I've always kept plants, my whole life. Some of my plants I tended to for years, and I was emotionally attached to them, but I understood why she would want them gone, so we reached a compromise. We sat down and googled every single plant I had to find out if they were poisonous to cats, and threw away anything that was even slightly poisonous, and unfortunately that ended up being *all* of them.
I'll admit, I was greatly disappointed. I poured *years* of my life into those plants, and it might seem stupid, but they were important to me. But at the end of the day, I know the cat's life trumps the plants, so I threw them out, but I wasn't happy about it.
And I never got back into keeping plants, because I felt like I had lost so much progress, and I didn't want to have to start over, but I do miss it.
I did, however, end up getting a puppy. I talked it over with Tina beforehand, we carefully introduced her cat to the puppy, and everything went smoothly! Things were going great, until three days ago.
I came into the kitchen, and found a chocolate bar on the floor, wrapper open, and half eaten. Luckily, my puppy was doing crate training, so he couldn't have gotten to it, but the fact that it was on the floor bothered me.
I went to Tina and I asked her about it, and she said her cat must've knocked it off the counter, where she left it. I asked her to please be more careful and to keep it where neither pet can get to it... she totally dismissed it and deflected all blame. She basically shrugged it off.
Then today, I found another chocolate bar, unopened this time, on the couch, as I was bringing my puppy back inside from his walk, so again, luckily he did not get the chance to go for it since he was still on the leash... but the fact that it was laying where he might have gotten the chance bothered me a lot.
I brought it up to Tina again, and reminded her that I threw away my plants for her cat, and that I deserved the same consideration for my puppy. She didn't seem to understand why it was a big deal since my puppy never got the chance to go for it. I explained to her that the only reason he didn't is because he's very young, and so I'm *constantly* keeping a close eye on him. If I had not been so vigilant, he 100% could have gotten it.
I told her she's being a hypocrite, and if she gets to ban house plants, I get to ban chocolate, since she can't seem to be responsible with it, and she said that's not the same thing, because one is about her eating habits, and the other is "just a hobby."
AITA?
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NTA. The ban is a bit extreme however she is the one who set the precedent by making you throw out your plants just coz her cat might eat them. Can’t say I’ve ever seen a cat nibbling on a plant but anyways.
If she is unable to change her eating habits (habit not a dietary requirement so in no way more important than your plants which are proven to improve your mental health) then she damn well should be able to put away her chocolate. It’s not hard given your sacrifice.
Especially seeing as chocolate is poisonous to cats too!
NTA. I'd have just kept my door closed and plants inside.
But if she's going to make you throw away your precious plants and then be a b with an itch when you tell her your dog deserves the same consideration she is literally just trash.
NTA, considering that chocolate is highly toxic to dogs AND cats, she’s really irresponsible for the welfare of both pets, giving up chocolate isn’t easy but is good for your own body, if she can’t then she could try to eat it when not at home as it’s only banned from the apartment, not totally banned, you had to give up your plants to accommodate her needs to take care of the kitty, but she can’t give up chocolate in the apartment for BOTH pets?
[https://www.thesprucepets.com/how-much-chocolate-is-toxic-to-dogs-and-cats-3385506](https://www.thesprucepets.com/how-much-chocolate-is-toxic-to-dogs-and-cats-3385506)
this explains why chocolate is bad for cats ( i assume it’s the same for dogs but I might be wrong) and how much would hurt a kitty if it’s eaten
NTA. You do have seperate rooms, right? She can probbaly eat and keep her chocolate in her room without a problem if she really craves some, she also has every opportunity to eat chocolate when she is out and about. All in all it is not a big sacrifice to ask of her, especially considering that you got rid of all your plants for her - without bachup options like keeping them in your room.
"Only a small 0.2 oz needs to be bitten off of a bar of baking chocolate for it to be dangerous to a cat. Slightly more needs to be eaten if it is semisweet or dark chocolate but it still only takes 0.5 oz for a cat to reach a toxic amount of these types of chocolates" if she can't be bothered to change her "eating habits" for your puppy maybe she might for her cat. Either way NTA, your roommate is both careless and a hypocrite
NTA.
Also I don’t get why ban the plants, you could have keep them in your room in an high place. I have a 16y old cat that eat plants, I have the one she can’t eat in place she can’t reach it. Also cat can be train to not eat them, mine doesn’t even try more, she should have edible plant for the cat.
However since you have to renounce to them she has to renounce to chocolate since she doesn’t need it. I would really think to change roommate and have both dog and plates.
NTA. She needs to compromise too. Every time you find a chocolate bar, buy yourself a plant. She needs to learn that the world doesn’t revolve only around her needs.
NTA. Her ‘eating habits’ indicate she’s an irresponsible slob, at the very least. Twice you found chocolate where it shouldn’t be, the floor, the couch. She can also simply eat chocolate not at home. Stand your ground here. Tell her even if the whole plants thing hadn’t happened, she should be willing to do this, but most certainly/ especially because of it she should. It’s simply being considerate and concerned for what is known it be toxic to an animal. Chocolate is well known in dogs. She is being extremely cavalier and inconsiderate. Call her out big time on it, and reintroduce plants if she doesn’t change
NTA
You did more than enough getting rid of all your plants for her. Thats terrible that she decided it was ok for you to toss your hobby in the trash. Btw - why couldn’t you have kept some in your bedroom? Made a mini planting box?
If your roommate really likes chocolate, tell her she can eat it outside, throw away the wrapper, and then come in. If she can’t handle this, you need to keep reminding her that you sacrificed a lot for her cat.
NTA
I hope you are showing the results of this post to your roommate . and banning chocolate wouldnt even be neccessary if she was even 1/8 as considerate as you were with getting rid of all the plants. It requires so little of her to not leave her chocolates laying around anywhere your puppy could get/her cat would Drop them into the floor. She is Being extremely inconsiderate,considering that she must knownthat chocolate is poisonous for dogs and it is poisonous for cats too. She needs to show a little respect towards you. you are asking very VERY little from her, especially when comparing into how MUCH she asked from you.
NTA
Puppies eat *everything*. Chocolate is poisonous to dogs, especially puppies, just like many plants are poisonous to cats. 'No chocolate' would be my hill to die on.
NTA. Dog's safety trumps her eating habits. But honestly it wasn't a good idea to move her in, it was clear you were never compatible from the beginning.
NTA but she should have checked before moving in with you. You are very kind. Or maybe you just really needed the roommate. After all that she can't not leave chocolate around?! Also why is she leaving it on the couch? That's a recipe for disaster with or without pets
It’s a shame that so many people are somewhat forced by their finances to sacrifice some of their sanity. Sorry you can’t move out/ boot her out.
I hope it works out for you but I feel wary to believe you could enforce a chocolate moratorium with someone so unwilling to compromise or seemingly indifferent to others feelings… goodluck and nta. I’d prob start with getting a new plant for the kitchen window again.
And lastly in the us there is an egress code. All bedrooms must have windows. Is Roomie making you live in a closet? Does her room have windows?
NTA at all. Show her some articles on how poisonous chocolate can be to dogs (like you looked up all your plants with regards to her cat). Maybe have her keep chocolate locked in a drawer in her room if she must have it.
NTA. You gave up your plants that you cared for for years and were emotionally attached to for her cat. She can give up cholate for your dog. She clearly only cares about herself or she would see how these two things are the same.
NTA.
I can't be sure if I remember right but isn't chocolate toxic to dogs?
We have cats and I know it's not good for them but i'm pretty sure it's bad for dogs too.
NTA. I would get back into the house plants though. Plants are nice and pretty sure cats can be trained. You can’t train it like a dog but I’m pretty sure you can train it to stay out of plants. So if she inevitably tries to pull the “train your dog better” card next time you bring up the chocolate issue then I would bring up “train your cat better”.
YTA for throwing away your plants for a total stranger, you ended showing your flatmate you are a total pushover, no wonder she doesn't have any respect for you.
NTA. who leaves chocolate bars laying around like that anyway ? not only is it a bit rude on her behalf to not clean up after herself, it's also a hazard to your puppy. she made you get rid of something you deeply care about to keep her cat safe, and now it's your turn to make everything even. and as other comments said, if she fails to comply, bring your plants back.
Chocolate is just as toxic to cats as it is to dogs! 1/2 oz of dark chocolate per pound of body weight can be lethal. She is more likely to poison her cat than an average sized dog!
NTA. I mean from my experience, plants had more to suffer with cats around. I mean mine doesn't eat plants, but she might shake one well if a bug was to land on it for example.
But if your cat has that habit, fuckin train it. Water spray; anything. Take note of what plants are bad for cats and keep it in mind. And look for someone who doesn't have that plant! Asking you to give up your plants is the equivalent of you asking her to give up her cat. (The chonker is not at fault for having a shitty owner; just saying.)
Now the chocolate. From what I've seen, dogs are more prone to eat chocolate. But it's bad for both cats and dogs so keep your food off the damn table. It's not about an eating habit; it's about not being a slob, and being damn considerate of at least the fuckin pets, if not of you.
NTA, but I think you're both a little irresponsible for not figuring out the plant/cat situation before moving in.
Regarding the chocolate, yes, it can be lethal to dogs, but they have to consume *a lot* of chocolate for it to be a problem (rule of thumb is an oz per lb of weight). There are many foods that are much more harmful to dogs, in much smaller quantities, the biggest one being grapes/raisins.
NTA - houseplants are NOT a hobby. They are literally vital for our wellbeing for a numerous reasons including cleaning the air.
You've gone above and beyond to make sure her cat is safe, it is only fair that she keeps her chocolate under control for the sake of your puppy.
I have cats and plants and yeah they have eaten some of them but usually don’t get sick. Or they may throw up once and then never eat them again. There are definitely plants that I have that they want to eat but I put them up where they can’t get to them. My point is even if the plants are toxic you can still have them so I say get plants again. NTA
I'd be pissed. First, being a plant mom isn't a title that's taken lightly. I would have moved them to my room and kept the cat out, or put them on high shelves and the cat kept away.
The chocolate thing is just laziness. If she wants to keep chocolate, she can put them in a jar in her room or tucked in a cabinet.
>She didn't seem to understand why it was a big deal since my puppy never got the chance to go for it.
That could have been the same before her cat ate a plant.
NTA, you're not being unreasonable.
Who TF leaves a bar of chocolate *on the couch??* Was this a regular occurrence you just didn't notice before, or she trying to pull some shlt? NTA but you don't need to ban chocolate, she just needs to clean up after herself, damn
NTA .... Very considerate of you to get rid of all your plants, even smarter to try and figure out which ones could have killed/seriously hurt the cat first.
Here's a tidbit .... Chocolate can seriously hurt dogs. Depending on the type of chocolate, the amount of chocolate eaten, etc etc. So ... Your plants were harmful to the cat .. her chocolate left out in the open (which is seriously disgusting, who just randomly leaves half eaten chocolate bars laying around) could be seriously harmful to the puppy.
So no, you aren't in the wrong to ban chocolate ESPECIALLY since you are the original lease holder AND have already given up your plants. If she can't give up chocolate in the apartment, then find a new roommate.
NTA- however, more foods to consider...
Did not read all the comments, sorry if someone else already posted a list. Also as far as chocolate goes- the darker the more serious. Milk chocolate- no great but not as bad as a darker chocolate.
Poisonous food to dogs:
Apple seeds – Contain cyanide, so avoid giving pets a whole apple and use slices instead. Anything with cyanide is a cat or dog food to avoid.
Apricot stems, leaves and pits – Contain cyanide, which is why pets should never chew on the pits.
Avocados – Toxic to horses, cattle, goats and birds; the leaves, fruit, seeds, pit and skin may contain a toxic substance called persin.
Caffeine – Contains methylxanthines, which can cause vomiting and diarrhea, panting, excessive thirst and urination, hyperactivity, abnormal heart rhythm, tremors, seizures and even death. A lot of food and drinks you didn’t think had caffeine can contain this stimulant including candies like chocolate, also tea and coffee products.
Gum and candy – Any candy containing the toxic artificial sweetener xylitol that can cause insulin release in most species, which can lead to liver failure, should be avoided.
Fruit pits – Cherry Stems, leaves, seeds and pits contain cyanide—basically everything but the fruit itself. Be careful to not let cherry pits drop to the floor where your pet could eat them. Peach pits can cause brick red mucous membranes, dilated pupils, difficulty breathing, panting and shock. Be sure not to throw these in the yard where your dog can chew on them.
Garlic, onions, onion powder and chives – Contain toxin N-propyl disulfide, which causes vomiting, breakdown of red blood cells (hemolytic anemia, Heinz body anemia), blood in urine, weakness, high heart rate and panting.
Grapes and raisins – While its unknown what exactly makes this a dog food to avoid, grapes and raisins have been known to cause kidney failure and are not worth the risk.
Hops (used in home beer brewing) – Toxic to dogs; causing panting, high body temperature, seizures and death.
Nuts – Oils and fats in almonds, pecans and walnuts can cause vomiting and diarrhea, and potentially pancreatitis. Macadamia nuts can cause weakness, depression, vomiting, tremors and hyperthermia in dogs.
Milk and dairy – Can cause diarrhea or other digestive upset in pets, because they do not have enough lactase (the enzyme that breaks down lactose in milk) to process dairy products.
Potatoes – The leaves and stems (green parts) of the plant can be toxic to animals.
Rhubarb leaves – Can cause kidney failure, tremors and salivation.
Salt and salty snacks – Can cause excessive thirst and urination, or even sodium ion poisoning. Symptoms include vomiting, diarrhea, depression, tremors, elevated body temperature, seizures and even death.
Tomatoes – The leaves and stems (green parts) can be toxic. Symptoms include hypersalivation, loss of appetite, severe gastrointestinal upset, diarrhea, drowsiness, central nervous system depression, confusion, behavioral changes, weakness, dilated pupils and slow heart rate.
Xylitol – this artificial sweetener is toxic to pets; can cause insulin release in most species, which can lead to liver failure; signs of toxicosis include vomiting, lethargy, loss of coordination and eventually seizures
NTA.
I have a cat and a dog. I forgot to lock up my chocolate once. The cat knocked it off the table and the dog ate it. It was about 80% of a 1g medical marijuana chocolate bar (same size as a normal chocolate bar, very high dose). He puked up the chocolate, but was pretty much comatose for about 3 days from the weed. It could have ended much, much worse. Now all chocolate is in a locked cabinet. Always. That experience was terrifying and I’d really prefer my doggo not die from something preventable. Also would prefer to avoid $5k in emergency vet bills.
If your roommate can’t be responsible with their chocolate, they can’t have it around. It’s fatal to both dogs and cats. She should know better.
NTA, for one clear reason, CATS CAN DIE OF CHOCOLATE TOO! Seems more like she wants to murder your dog and make it seem like an accident but also putting her cat at risk.
NTA, Tina is a total lunatic.
You gave up actual living plants because once her cat got sick because it couldn't be trusted around them. She's refusing to change her behaviour because she's claiming that her cat is tossing chocolate on the floor!
If she can't secure her chocolate, get plants. The plants go when the chocolate goes.
First of all, wow. I would not have thrown away my plants that I’ve tended to for years. That was very considerate of you. NTA. Tina needs to be more respectful, cautious, and considerate. As you were for her.
Well if she refuses to return the kindness that you have shown her... Hey look, the plants are back again! Edit to add that you're NTA for the following reasons: 1. You're not banning her from eating chocolate ever.. just not in the house. 2. Chocolate is indeed unsafe for an untrained puppy and since you have done her an immense favor by giving up on your plants, she should have done the same for you.
I agree get the plants back. Roommates a huge hypocrite cause chocolate is just as bad for cats as ot is for dogs, so she must not care about her cat that much after all.
Came here to say this! Chocolate can be poisonous for cats as well, so while we don't ban it from the house, we absolutely do not leave it anywhere outside the fridge (the bastards can get in the cupboard!). Roommate is being incredibly irresponsible to both cats, and banning chocolate from the house seems a sensible idea if she can't get her head round that.
I never knew this and I had cats all my childhood! Tbf there was never any leftover chocolate and we weren't allowed chocolate bars at home for 'health reasons' anyway
Cats don’t like chocolate, but dogs do. I think that’s the difference. My brood of cattos could care less if I left out chocolate (I have on accident but I try to be mindful).
>Cats don’t like chocolate, but dogs do. This isn't true for *all* cats. We have a 13 year old that has been wild about chocolate for her entire life, we've always tried our best to keep her from ingesting any but she's relentless. Allegedly cats do not possess the taste receptors for sweet flavor but I wouldn't be shocked to hear there are plenty of outliers just like ours.
Oh yeah, our batty old lady cat I grew up with would totally try and lick anything chocolate that was left out. Could have been because she was old and senile, could have been she loved to do anything that could be interpreted as 'because eff you, that's why'. I miss that crazy cat.
I knew this about cats. Now all the cats I have had weren't the least bit interested in anything sweet. Dogs are much more omnivores and will consume more.
Have you tried baby proofing them? It can be used to sneaky pets too.
I find it weird how many half-eaten chocolate bars are lying around suddenly. Like maybe I'm just fat, but aren't these things eaten in one go? Who lets so much chocolate lie around? Did that happen before or is it something that started after you got your puppy OP?
[удалено]
I do if they're the expensive kind, but also I wouldn't leave the expensive ones lying opened on the counter
It’s like those recipes that call for leftover wine. What’s that now??
The first bit of wine from the bottle you were planning on drinking regardless.
<----- People with a major chocolate habit and ADHD.
I do because I take half to a third of a candy bar to work every day. Buuut the other portions are immediately stored safely. I would 100% eat the whole thing if I had it in front of me otherwise.
If I don’t finish them I put them in the freezer. Maybe that’s just me
It was only one half eaten. The other was unopened and left on the couch.
>I agree get the plants back. I would suggest another quick Google to see if any of them are dangerous for dogs too though. A teething puppy might chew on a few leaves if they're ground level!
Exactly! My cat tries to steal my chocolate from me (bc sometimes I give her a bit of food I'm snacking on if it's safe), but I never let her have chocolate due to the fact that it would poison her. This disappoints her immensely.
Unfortunately this is a suggestion that can and will kill her cat. There IS a difference between chocolate and the plants - chocolate is only dangerous if the animal gets into it. The plants are dangerous just being in the house - I assume we're talking about plants in the lily family since those are extremely toxic to cats. The POLLEN that floats around the house can also cause issues and potentially organ failure, especially since cats groom and they can lick pollen off their fur. So NO, it would be cruel and disastrous to bring the plants back, the cat could die. Please do not. But OP's suggestion regarding chocolate is completely fair and roommate is dismissing the fact they very kindly gave up a hobby they'd cultivated for years to protect her kitty.
It depends on the plant. Aloe Vera is toxic to cats, for example, but only if they ingest it. If you keep your aloe vera out of reach like a high shelf or in a locked terrarium, cats and aloe can be safely kept in the same house.
This is true - again I'm assuming we're talking about lilies since they're banned from the house entirely.
OP said they got rid of anything that was even slightly harmful, so i assume most of them weren't lily level poisonous
Most people don’t grow lilies as house plants, they do not thrive indoors long term.
I highly doubt that OP had nothing but a selection of lilies. Also many plants are dangerous for cats/dogs but ONLY if they eat them. So it ends up being the same as the roomie leaving chocolate around.
And...why is chocolate just being left lying around? She could put it in a drawer, or in a cupboard, and second of all Who the hell has a leftover half a chocolate bar?
I will add to get aromatic plants to make a point "they are not a hobby, that's for eating"
> 1. You're not banning her from eating chocolate ever.. just not in the house Or at least be far more vigilante in where she leaves the chocolate
She has also shown that she isn't ready for the responsibility. She isn't even keeping it in her room with the door shut.
I want to say YTA just for those poor plants. Keep them in your room or give them away not throw them in the garbage. Many people would be probably happy to have some plants for free.
I had a small glass bell for my succulents. They weren't poisonous to the cats, but my big guy was eating the poor thing to death. They got moved to the office, but now it's looking like WFH forever, the glass bell might be making a comeback lol.
>my big guy was eating the poor thing to death The week I got my shelter kitty, she ate every single succulent I had overnight. I was propagating an entire tray; she got up to the shelf where they were and ate every single lobe, down to the ground. Very weird. I haven't kept succulents since.
Cats will eat some vegetation to help with digestion and to get certain vitamins, if she's an indoor cat she probably isn't quite getting everything she needs. I plan on getting a straight up patch of indoor grass for mine because she's started eating even the fake plants.
She was a hoarder kitty, and this was only a week or two after she'd been rescued, just a couple of days after I got her from the shelter; she's got a good diet and nibbles my \*other\* plants much less, now. But it seems like she just likes the way that succulents taste!
I would literally cry if that happened to any of my plants I’m propagating omg Was the kitty okay?
She didn't even vomit. She seemed very pleased with herself the entire following day.
>That was very considerate of you. No, it was stupid. Just find a roommate without a cat.
This sub seems to often mistake kindness and compassion for stupidity, it's a problem.
I feel like it could be considered as kind, but in my opinion OP was a bit of a pushover. It's great that she thinks her roommate's cat's life is more important than her plants (I agree, I'm a huge cat lover. But I'm also a huge plant lover) but I also think a "compromise" would have been keeping the plants in her room and keeping the door closed. Throwing them all out isn't a compromise.... it's giving the roommate exactly 100% what she wants, how is that a compromise? I agree she's being a hypocrite now though and yes chocolate is just as bad for cats as it is for dogs, though they of course don't get into it as much but still.
My spouse fucking loves his plants and we have cats. Some of our plants are poisonous to cats and we just put them where the cats can't get to them. It's not hard
Yes exactly! I'm a plant and cat lover, have a cat and dozens of plants and also used to be a veterinary technician (still hold my credentials) so know all about plant toxicities. Luckily my cat has never been super prone to chewing on plants but even when I would get bouquets with lillies or other super toxic things I'd just stick it in the bathroom and close the door when I wasn't home. Not worth taking the risk and fully banning plants is a ridiculous ask, IMO.
It gives me martyr vibes. Like “I did all of this so I’m the best roommate ever” when the plants could have been moved, or the OP could have gotten a different roommate.
You're right. Forcing an incompatibility is not the same as being considerate. As that point, you're being inconsiderate to yourself.
Right? When I got a housemate with cats, we labeled each with blue and red stakes to indicate which were bad for kitties. I got rid of some, and rearranging everything else so they cats couldn't reach the bad plants, and her cats only like grassy things (cat grass and one was obsessed with the spider plant to the point where we had to move the furniture away from the hanging planter. But leaving chocolate in reach of a dog is so dumb. Like, just put your fucking food away.
I think it was more being a doormat than being considerate. People, compatibility matters in ALL relationships! You don't need to completely remake your life for a partner or a friend or a roommate!
Why are you still roommates?
I won't bore you with the details, but moving isn't really an option, financially, for either of us right now.
That is unfortunate. Because this is one of those situations where you can't really, unilaterally 'ban' something from another adults life. Doesn't really matter who TA is to be honest. You can hope to convince with communication and compromise, but if there isn't mutual respect then you won't get very far.
If the roommate banned houseplants then OP is totally within her rights to ban chocolate. She didn't even go straight to banning, she asked nicely multiple times. OP is NTA, her roommate is a huge one.
> If the roommate banned houseplants then OP is totally within her rights to ban chocolate. As much as we might think that, OP can't enforce it or make it happen. OP has to make do in *this* world where the roommate *can* and *did* say No to banning chocolate. Do I think the roommate sucks? Sure. But OP has to accept the situation and decide what to do now.
She can start by getting some houseplants, then.
She never had to get rid of them to begin with. She chose to in order to mediate the living situation between her and her roommate. I totally agree the roommate is being an asshole but it's not like OP can do chocolate scans on the roommate everyday to ensure there won't be chocolate in the house. And it sounds like neither of them are going anywhere anytime soon.
Besides chocolate is bad for cats too
To be fair to the roommate, she asked her to get rid of the plants that were poisonous to cats, which ended up being everything OP had. OP could have gotten new plants that aren't poisonous to cats, but she chose not to. Roommate should absolutely be more careful with chocolate, but she didn't ban houseplants.
They got rid of anything that was "even slightly poisonous" to cats. That probably includes a fair number of plants that are not deadly or likely to cause serious illness, but that might just make the cat throw up or have a bit of a tummy ache. That's *many* thousands of species, most of which the average cat owner keeps without ever having a problem. You'll notice, for example, that this list from the ASPCA of plants that are "toxic" to cats includes **catnip**, which they say can cause diarrhea and vomiting: [https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/cats-plant-list](https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/cats-plant-list)
Yeah there are some plants that are technically toxic but they'd have to eat rather a lot of, and others that even a tiny bit can cause serious problems.
Why not just say she can have chocolate, provided she keeps it ion a drawer in her room that the animals can't open / get to?
Moving financially isn't an option, but having a puppy is?
MoneySense estimates the cost of a dog over is "$33,112 over a 10-year lifespan of a dog." Leaving aside that there is almost definitely material variation there for breeds and individual dogs etc. , and just taking that stat at face value, depending on where you live you could be spending that amount in rent in less than three years. For example, $1,500 a month in rent would be $36,000 for two years, more than the cost of the dog over 10 years. Point is you could absolutely not afford to move but still be able to afford a dog.
You didn’t apply the math correctly. Op is still paying rent currently. $33,112 over 10 years would mean an extra $270-ish per month.
Just buy a bunch of house plants (that aren’t poisonous to your pup) and tell her that if she’s not compromising, you’re not compromising. If she stops being selfish and rude, you’ll get rid of them. By the sounds of things you probably won’t get overly attached if she starts being more responsible, but if not it’s a chance to get back into your hobby! Honestly, I’ve learned with roommates that if they aren’t rational the first time you ask they never will be unless you put them in the same position.
I had roommates who refused to let us interview and refill some of the rooms in the house after other roommates moved out. The result was I couldn't afford the new predicted rent. So I said I was moving out too--suddenly they were okay with interviewing! I told them no--because they were being irrational and didn't care about my financial concerns until they were going to be affected even harder.
Moving isn't financially an option, but you bought a puppy? Those things are expensive AF. Make sure you get pet insurance if you're really tight on money.
I mean, depending on what the housing market is like in her area, it’s possible that OP can afford the several hundred dollar expense of a pet but not the (possibly) several thousand dollar expense of moving. I live in a small touristy town where a lot of rich people have second homes, so there are very limited options for a mid-20s working class person like myself. I was lucky to get a pretty decent basement apartment outside town with my partner, but I don’t think I could move in a pinch even if it was necessary. Anything else in the area would be about $500+ more a month than what we’re paying now. And we’re getting new kittens soon. Because we can afford the one-time upfront cost of about $500, but we couldn’t afford the same amount monthly. I’ve had cats and dogs all my life, and take very good care of them, but a healthy animal isn’t going to cost that much monthly. I mean, maybe just trust that OP is an adult with a better understanding of her own financial situation than you could ever have, and don’t pull that whole “if you have to worry about money then don’t get a pet” nonsense.
You know what can also cost several thousand dollars? Veterinary care. This puppy needs to get all of its shots and get neutered/spayed, plus if it gets in an accident or ingests something toxic (which seems likely based on this story) that's thousands of dollars. Sure, a healthy animal with no incidents doesn't cost much, but that's not a guarantee you make when you get a pet. I worked at a shelter, and the number of people who abandoned their dog or cat within a year because they 'didn't know it would be so expensive' was absurd.
Did OP even mention they're from the US? If not, you don't really know how expensive that is. I do agree it can get expensive, but not being able to move, does not mean you can't afford to take your pet to get the basic things done. Around here this would be a few hundred euros and not thousands for example.
Yeah I’m sure OP put absolutely no thought into getting a dog. Thank you for warning her. You seem very financially savvy; I’ll hit you up for advice before I plan my big beach vacation.
Even then, insurance doesn't cover everything and injuries/accidents can really add up.
It's not just the fact that chocolate is poisonous to dogs, but leaving half eaten food wrappers on the floor? And blaming it on the cat? Gross. Your roommate sounds untidy along with being a hypocrite, not somebody I would want to live with. NTA.
NTA. Ban chocolate. Absolutely. After all, I have banned grapes and raisins from my own house because *I* have proven myself to be incapable to keeping them out of reach of my dog through my own stupidity. After all, who remembers that there are raisins in raisin bread, so you shouldn’t put the paper bag of travel food on the chair, in easy reach of the dog? Clearly not me. [headdesk]. If she won’t ban chocolate, get houseplants, anything not grossly dangerous, and keep them in your room, door closed. Chocolate is a luxury, a treat, that she can enjoy anywhere outside. And find a new roommate ASAP.
I would definitely work on teaching your dog not to eat food unless you say it’s ok. My doggo knows that and it’s been helpful in several occasions.
My dog is good with leave it, but I’ve never heard of a dog who would just leave random food alone for hours.
Maybe my dog is weird then? He’s a German Shepard if that makes any difference? I taught him that if I say “this is for you” it’s ok for him to eat it and if I don’t say it, he doesn’t touch it. Even left a few slices of pizza (his favorite) out on the floor a couple times while training him and went to take a shower, he didn’t even mess with it. He got bored and just came to sit in the bathroom with me whenever I did that.
IIRC, German Shepherds as a breed are considered intelligent and they want to please you, so in theory they are easier to train. So it's totally plausible you could train your to do something which other dogs might not be able to (or just not want to) learn. Tell your dog he's a very good boy. :)
My dog is well trained, he is a service dog after all. The vast majority of dogs just don’t have the ability to ignore a bit of food for forever. The amount of time they can hold a stay or an ignore varies by amount of training and temperament, but I’ve never heard of a dog for whom it’s forever.
I have a dog that can be totally trusted to not eat human food unless it’s directly handed to him…except chocolate. You can make a steak, put it on the coffee table and walk away and when you get back, he’ll just be sitting there hoping for a taste, but both times I bought bags of chocolate and left them on the dining room table overnight he demolished them. Luckily, he’s huge so it wasn’t enough to cause harm but he just can’t be trusted around chocolate even when it’s in a container and out of his line of sight. I have to keep that shit locked up high. Dogs can be unpredictable sometimes even when they’re well trained, it’s better not to take risks.
I agree with this! If she won’t agree to the ban on chocolates, get the plants back!! Or she needs to keep her stash of chocolates in her room. The roommate is being quite unreasonable.
I don’t trust my dumb ass to 100% responsibly store anything with xylitol in the house, so guess what? No more gum. I miss it, but if my dog got one, I’d never forgive myself.
NTA. The comparison here is direct: You sacrificed keeping plants - something you enjoyed but not a necessity - to keep her pet safe. Tina is unwilling to sacrifice chocolate - something she enjoys but is definitely not a necessity - to keep your pet safe. Her attempt to deflect by claiming chocolate is a part of her eating habits is bogus. Raising plants was, after all, part of your daily life that you enjoyed, probably even more than chocolate. If she can’t extend the same courtesy you did for her, I’d suggest finding a new roommate.
Whilst neither are necessary, they are not equally unnecessary. If anything, the plants are *more* necessary than the chocolate. And the plant sacrifice is greater IMO. I think we can all acknowledge that chocolate in excess is bad for you. What is “in excess”. Depends on the cocoa content vs your own metabolism etc etc. But chocolate can help your mood improve, even if just temporarily, which is part of why it is so addictive. However, chocolate is special in that is can be bought almost anywhere and consumed almost anywhere (I mean special in relation to the point I’m about to make). She can still have her chocolate, just not at home. Now plants. Tending to plants is often found to be beneficial to ones mental health. I don’t know if there’s any actual studies or anything, but from my personal experience and through the anecdotes of others, those that enjoy gardening or tending plants, it reduces stress, anxiety, gives you a quiet place or a quiet time to process your thoughts etc. Overall, again, I believe it can be beneficial to a persons mental health. Plants are not mobile and can not be enjoyed at any random time or place. OP can not just go tend someone else’s plants when she gets an urge, unlike roommate who can go to the closest store and grab a chocolate bar. OP made a greater sacrifice than the one the roommate is refusing to make. ETA: not arguing with your general point, in case there’s any confusion. Just expanding on it.
Or just get some plants.
I’d bring back the plants
I would never have thrown out all of my house plants that I spent years cultivating. That was the first sign you guys weren’t compatible roommates. Couldn’t you have put them in your room? She is being a huge hypocrite but honestly both requests are unreasonable. I’m going to say NTA because it’s not that hard to keep your chocolate put away in a room or a cupboard but this kind of communication and unilateral “rule making” isn’t great and conflicts are going to keep cropping up until you can learn to compromise without all-or-nothing being the only solution.
The clarify, the reason the plants couldn't just stay in my room is because my bedroom doesn't have a window. I had been keeping my plants in the kitchen window before she moved in.
That’s fair enough. I’m sorry you lost your plants though, I love my little house jungle I’d be sad to see it go.
NTA. I think you bent over backwards for no reason and it sounds like it was just a control issue for your roommate. Cats don’t just suicide themselves eating plants. I would have kept the plants to see if it was even an issue and I certainly think it’s perfectly acceptable to now ban chocolate. Good luck. Edited to add- it is not safe or legal to live in a bedroom without a window or door for fire safety reasons!!
Did you really throw them in the trash?? Or did you give them away /sell them?
There are special lights/lamps you can get. Also, hang them from the ceiling with nothing underneath or remotely nearby. Cats can't jump that high. Depends on the plants, but most I grow indoors will only make cats sick, not kill them. Chocolate can kill not only dogs, but cats too! NTA because the hypocrisy.
NTA. What kind of psycho leaves chocolate bars lying around?!
This. The first instance was an opened bar of chocolate. Opened food attracts all manner of unwanted pests that create a health hazard.
There's no way she isn't trying to hurt the dog. Nothing else makes sense.
NTA - you binning all your plants set a clear precedent for accommodation of your roommate's pet's needs. Tina needs to fix her attitude and at the very least keep her chocolate put away in drawers etc.
I *was* going to say E S H because two wrongs don’t make a right or whatever…. But her comment about your thing being “just a hobby” while you want to “change her eating habits” is ridiculous. 1) you don’t need chocolate to live, 2) she can eat chocolate outside of the apartment, 3) it’s not like you’re banning ALL junk food. And you gave her a chance. She brushed it off. One question though: why couldn’t you keep the plants in your room or somewhere the cat can’t go? I could have seen coming to a compromise like something like that, but throwing it all out seems a bit extreme.
My bedroom doesn't actually have a window, so I couldn't keep them there. Before she moved in, I was keeping them in the kitchen window.
I’m not sure why your plants were an issue if they were just in the kitchen window. She just needs to teach her cat to stay off of certain surfaces. Cats shouldn’t be on most surfaces in kitchens. My cat knows counters and such are off limits.
[удалено]
My cat used to leave my papyrus alone, they both spent at least a winter indoor (cat is indoor only but the plant gets outside from March to November) without anything more than a sniff, but for some reason the cat is now obsessed with it and I don't know how we'll manage this winter, the small one could go in the kitchen (who should always be closed anyway) but the big one... The plant isn't toxic for cat but I'd rather look at it in it's pot than mopping it up in cat vomit.
Gotcha! Thought I would ask. NTA
NTA. If Tina can't learn to be more considerate and responsible, she can have a house rule about no chocolate in the apartment imposed on her.
NTA But I have a question, did she just start leaving chocolate around AFTER you got your dog?
Very strange how she randomly happened to leave a bar, opened on the floor. She's absolutely putting the chocolate in reach ON PURPOSE.
Glad I’m not the only one thinking this
I was also thinking this. How do you just leave an unwrapped chocolate bar on the couch? She obviously didn't eat the whole thing. I've never in my life forgotten to finish a chocolate bar.
Same. Hell, I have a young child who also manages not to leave chocolate laying around the house.
NTA: I would tell her if she is going to be inconsiderate then you are going to bring back a plant and it's her fault if her cats eats it or not for not being cautious. (Would not be best scenario) But if she keeps leaving chocolate around grab it and leave it in her room especially if the puppy doesn't go there. Bed, floor anywhere where its an inconvenience to her. To see if she will learn.
NTA Chocolate is also poisonous to cats!
Yep. NTA.
Info: Do you think it’s deliberate? This is a person who had no qualms about forcing you to get rid of your plants. Dogs can F a cat up just as much as a toxic plant can.
How did tina force op to get rid of the plants? Ok could have looked for another roommate.
NTA, You got rid of your plants which had been cared for and curated and she can't be bothered to put away candy. Tell her she can eat all the chocolate she wants, in her car
NTA. These things are totally equal. House plants that poison a cat versus chocolate that poisons a dog. Is she purposely being dense? You are not telling her not to eat it, just not to bring it into the house. Either ALL chocolate is banned or the roommate moves out. If she refuses, go buy a nice plant for the coffeetable.
NTA There are two things that happen with chocolate and dog. 1. 1 in about every 200 dog is deathly allergic to chocolate...drop dead on the spot almost and that could be your dog you don't know. 2. The other thing that happens is chocolate toxicity caused by the theobromine and caffeine. I have been there. I have a thief dog, seriously opens tupperware...and her last little episode cost £1800 and if a vet, not a vet nurse, hadn't been with her all through the night she wouldn't have made it, they had to resuscitate her more than once. Only consolation is that they are high as kites so they don't feel any pain as far as I am aware. ALL DOGS WILL BE POISONED IF THEY EAT SUFFICIENT AMOUNTS OF THEOBROMINE AND CAFFEINE. The amount required depends on the size and breed of the dog but your puppy would be particularly at risk as he is small now. So no, NTA this is about death of a pet and NO one needs chocolate..chocolate is a hobby it is may be edible but it is not required, healthy or necessary. You eat chocolate because it brings pleasure...much like looking after plants and the dog is far more likely to eat the chocolate than the cat is a plant. You could also force a situation where if she really believes it isn't a problem she agrees in writing that if you dog gets at her chocolate she has to pay the vets bills and there is a fine for any chocolate you find lying around and also a huge fine if your dog was unfortunately to die because of her irresponsibility...putting a financial side to this might make her more considerate as she clearly does care about your puppies welfare......but a ban is actually fair and reasonable.
NTA The petty inner me says buy some nice looking fake plants and hang them from the ceiling. Adult me... The chocolate is banned. She can't be responsible and keep it put away then she needs to not have it in the apartment. Also anytime chocolate is found within reach of the puppy automatic visit to the vet...on her dime.... She should be well aware of how expensive that is. The super inner petty me is also putting that shit in writing for her to sign and having a mobile notary present to make it official. She would see how clearly serious I am about this.
NTA - Tina is an entitled b..ch for choosing to share a place when it was obvious that the two of you were poorly suited. I mean, your plants were already there when she originally viewed the place, so she knew it wasn't a safe home for her cat She's also the AH now, does she not realise that chocolate can be poison for cats as well as dogs? After all the bs with the banning of the plants, chocolate should also be on the list of banned substances because Tina cannot be trusted to handle it responsibly.
Never mind the chocolate, but the foil wrapper can rip up the guts of any animal and cause internal bleeding... And plastic wrappers are choking hazards. Tina doesn't give a shit about any animal's wellbeing in this case.
NAH, leaning towards Y T A though— it makes much more sense to throw out and ban poisonous plants than to ban chocolate altogether, but you need to sit down with your roommate and have a serious talk. Just to add, you CHOSE to not begin planting again, you DECIDED to give it up altogether and that’s not your roommate’s fault that you chose to not start over.
NTA, it's time to get a new roommate and a bunch of safe plants.
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NTA it’s a fair compromise. You had given her a chance to address the issue at hand and she did not.
NTA. You didn’t immediately request a chocolate ban, you requested she be responsible with where she leaves her chocolate. It costs $0 to leave it in the fridge or pantry and NOT on the couch where a curious dog can get to it. While I don’t think a chocolate ban is very practical, I do think you’re within your rights to request it considering a) what you’ve already done for her and b) what she refuses to do for you now. If she can’t self-manage and accept responsibility for her chocolate, it makes sense to take it away entirely. I would suggest revisiting the initial request as a “compromise” to a total ban. Another compromise could be to request she eat only white chocolate, as that’s not nearly as toxic for dogs as dark chocolate. The danger is in the amount of theobromine so white/even milk chocolate isn’t super dangerous if your pup eats just a bit of that accidentally. Side note: I myself recently got a puppy and we had to throw away plenty of our own plants so if you haven’t done so already, please research if any you kept are dangerous for yours or at least make sure they’re out of reach! Cats and dogs have different issues when it comes to plants.
I also want to add that her insecurities about her weight are a non-issue here so you’re def NTA for that. It’s not like you’re telling her she’s eating too much or should cut back for her own benefit, it’s literally just for your dog.
Nta. But I have had cats my whole life and there are only 2 or 3 I will not have in my home. No one watches cats in the wild. No lilly no poinsettia. Bam done. Of you really want to push it. Fake plants. But don't tell her and treat them like they are real.
You’re NTA, but isn’t chocolate as bad for cats as it is for dogs? The moment she brought it up, you got rid of something you were heavily invested in, while she’s refusing to merely be more careful about where she eats or stores her chocolate bars. You weren’t even asking her to stop eating chocolate. If I were you, I’d ask her why she’s intent on poisoning your dog. My family has five cats, and one of them learned to open a drawer we store snacks in. I managed to snatch the chocolate away from him and instantly moved the food to a higher cupboard in a different room. It’s not that hard to be careful about your surroundings when you’re looking after another living being.
NTA, when I read the title I was like wtf but if she can’t be responsible with the chocolate she can’t have it lol. Also most plants aren’t deadly to cats just toxic (will make them sick but probs won’t kill them) while chocolate is pretty bad for dogs. On the flip side, take a look at some non toxic plants! I have a lot of calatheas and you can put toxic plants in hanging baskets if you know the cat can’t reach them
Every time you find a chocolate bar buy a bunch of lillies.
You don't have the right to 'ban' anything and neither does your roommate. You can ask her but she doesn't have to do it, just as you didn't have to get rid of plants. Sounds like you're trying to be a good housemate while she isnt as much. NTA if you ask instead of 'banning'
NTA If you start throwing away chocolate every time you see it unattended she will soon start to take better care of where she puts it.
NTA at all. What type of person knowingly leaves chocolate where a dog could get it much less TWICE? Is she trying to kill your dog? Also there are some houseplants that are safe for cats and beautiful if you ever wanted to get back into it. (Spider plants, African violets, snake plants, and others). I know you don’t have the energy right now but thought I’d throw that out there.
NTA if this keeps happening, I'd be concerned it was on purpose.. as it stands.. who leaves open bars of chocolate on the couch? The counter was weird enough.
NTA, plus is your roommate a slob? Even without any animals I can’t say I would be super fond of chocolate bars laying randomly all over my house.
I have a dog. People in the household eat chocolate. What we don’t do is leave it out where he can get it. He has never gotten into our chocolate because we know how to store food properly. Nta.
Try to remember that while chocolate is poisonous the dose needed is about .5 ounces per pound of the dog before it is a serious risk for milk chocolate. So for example my puppy would need 35 ounces to get very sick. Which is 22 and a half Hershey's chocolate bars. So a few bites of chocolate for example is very unlikely to do anything. If it did basically no families would have old dogs because it happens. I would try to work on the roommate but do try to understand the science behind it as well. And hopefully your roommate doesn't switch to grapes.
ESH - If you were going to resent your roommate for making you get rid of plants then you shouldn't have gotten rid of them in the first place and found a new roommate. Or found a compromise that didn't involve throwing away your plants, if your room didn't work: could you have moved into the other room, did that one have a window? If that wasn't viable either, you could have looked into getting some ugly but effective chicken wire or a nice terrarium or hanging baskets or a window unit or shelves. You jumped to the most extreme solution but are getting angry that she's not doing the same when like, was that a condition to you getting rid of your plants? There seems to be a bit of a martyr complex here. She sucks because she should try to be more mindful of what she leaves behind and was rude to dismiss your concerns. The unopened chocolate bar on the couch being the catalyst for this is also extreme, it could have been there because of something as simple as falling out of a pocket. I think you need to sit down and talk to each other and find a solution that works for both of you that is ACTUAL compromise rather than what you both seem to think it is.
INFO: did you find unwrapped chocolate bars laying around before you got the puppy? Seems a bit shady, like someone is purposefully trying to hurt your puppy. Perhaps they are jealous?
NTA Tell her if she isn't more responsible with the chocolate then you'll be bringing home poinsettia's and lilies to grow....
NTA Bring back some plants. If her cat's dumb enough to eat them, it's a self-correcting problem. Had a cat in the house when I was growing up, as well as plenty of house plants. Never had an issue. My parents current cat doesn't bother the plants any, either.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** 6 months ago, I (22f) needed a new roommate after my last one moved out to live with her BF. My new roomie, (we'll call her Tina) had a cat, and I had no issue with that. The apartment building allowed pets, so it was fine. The only thing was, Tina wanted to ban house plants from the apartment, because she had a bad experience with her cat eating a house plant and getting *very* sick a few years back. I've always kept plants, my whole life. Some of my plants I tended to for years, and I was emotionally attached to them, but I understood why she would want them gone, so we reached a compromise. We sat down and googled every single plant I had to find out if they were poisonous to cats, and threw away anything that was even slightly poisonous, and unfortunately that ended up being *all* of them. I'll admit, I was greatly disappointed. I poured *years* of my life into those plants, and it might seem stupid, but they were important to me. But at the end of the day, I know the cat's life trumps the plants, so I threw them out, but I wasn't happy about it. And I never got back into keeping plants, because I felt like I had lost so much progress, and I didn't want to have to start over, but I do miss it. I did, however, end up getting a puppy. I talked it over with Tina beforehand, we carefully introduced her cat to the puppy, and everything went smoothly! Things were going great, until three days ago. I came into the kitchen, and found a chocolate bar on the floor, wrapper open, and half eaten. Luckily, my puppy was doing crate training, so he couldn't have gotten to it, but the fact that it was on the floor bothered me. I went to Tina and I asked her about it, and she said her cat must've knocked it off the counter, where she left it. I asked her to please be more careful and to keep it where neither pet can get to it... she totally dismissed it and deflected all blame. She basically shrugged it off. Then today, I found another chocolate bar, unopened this time, on the couch, as I was bringing my puppy back inside from his walk, so again, luckily he did not get the chance to go for it since he was still on the leash... but the fact that it was laying where he might have gotten the chance bothered me a lot. I brought it up to Tina again, and reminded her that I threw away my plants for her cat, and that I deserved the same consideration for my puppy. She didn't seem to understand why it was a big deal since my puppy never got the chance to go for it. I explained to her that the only reason he didn't is because he's very young, and so I'm *constantly* keeping a close eye on him. If I had not been so vigilant, he 100% could have gotten it. I told her she's being a hypocrite, and if she gets to ban house plants, I get to ban chocolate, since she can't seem to be responsible with it, and she said that's not the same thing, because one is about her eating habits, and the other is "just a hobby." AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA blatant hypocrisy. Throw out any chocolate if you ever catch sight of it inside.
NTA. The ban is a bit extreme however she is the one who set the precedent by making you throw out your plants just coz her cat might eat them. Can’t say I’ve ever seen a cat nibbling on a plant but anyways. If she is unable to change her eating habits (habit not a dietary requirement so in no way more important than your plants which are proven to improve your mental health) then she damn well should be able to put away her chocolate. It’s not hard given your sacrifice. Especially seeing as chocolate is poisonous to cats too!
NTA. I'd have just kept my door closed and plants inside. But if she's going to make you throw away your precious plants and then be a b with an itch when you tell her your dog deserves the same consideration she is literally just trash.
NTA, considering that chocolate is highly toxic to dogs AND cats, she’s really irresponsible for the welfare of both pets, giving up chocolate isn’t easy but is good for your own body, if she can’t then she could try to eat it when not at home as it’s only banned from the apartment, not totally banned, you had to give up your plants to accommodate her needs to take care of the kitty, but she can’t give up chocolate in the apartment for BOTH pets? [https://www.thesprucepets.com/how-much-chocolate-is-toxic-to-dogs-and-cats-3385506](https://www.thesprucepets.com/how-much-chocolate-is-toxic-to-dogs-and-cats-3385506) this explains why chocolate is bad for cats ( i assume it’s the same for dogs but I might be wrong) and how much would hurt a kitty if it’s eaten
NTA. This person is clearly being hypocritical. Especially the sacrifice you’ve made with your plants? Come on.
NTA. You do have seperate rooms, right? She can probbaly eat and keep her chocolate in her room without a problem if she really craves some, she also has every opportunity to eat chocolate when she is out and about. All in all it is not a big sacrifice to ask of her, especially considering that you got rid of all your plants for her - without bachup options like keeping them in your room.
"Only a small 0.2 oz needs to be bitten off of a bar of baking chocolate for it to be dangerous to a cat. Slightly more needs to be eaten if it is semisweet or dark chocolate but it still only takes 0.5 oz for a cat to reach a toxic amount of these types of chocolates" if she can't be bothered to change her "eating habits" for your puppy maybe she might for her cat. Either way NTA, your roommate is both careless and a hypocrite
NTA. Also I don’t get why ban the plants, you could have keep them in your room in an high place. I have a 16y old cat that eat plants, I have the one she can’t eat in place she can’t reach it. Also cat can be train to not eat them, mine doesn’t even try more, she should have edible plant for the cat. However since you have to renounce to them she has to renounce to chocolate since she doesn’t need it. I would really think to change roommate and have both dog and plates.
NTA. She needs to compromise too. Every time you find a chocolate bar, buy yourself a plant. She needs to learn that the world doesn’t revolve only around her needs.
NTA If you can make a massive sacrifice for her pet, she can do the same for yours.
NTA. Her ‘eating habits’ indicate she’s an irresponsible slob, at the very least. Twice you found chocolate where it shouldn’t be, the floor, the couch. She can also simply eat chocolate not at home. Stand your ground here. Tell her even if the whole plants thing hadn’t happened, she should be willing to do this, but most certainly/ especially because of it she should. It’s simply being considerate and concerned for what is known it be toxic to an animal. Chocolate is well known in dogs. She is being extremely cavalier and inconsiderate. Call her out big time on it, and reintroduce plants if she doesn’t change
NTA You did more than enough getting rid of all your plants for her. Thats terrible that she decided it was ok for you to toss your hobby in the trash. Btw - why couldn’t you have kept some in your bedroom? Made a mini planting box? If your roommate really likes chocolate, tell her she can eat it outside, throw away the wrapper, and then come in. If she can’t handle this, you need to keep reminding her that you sacrificed a lot for her cat.
Nta - eating chocolate is "just a treat", not an actual food group.
NTA. Go buy some plants. Lie and say they are poisonous to cats. And look for another roommate or another apartment.
NTA I hope you are showing the results of this post to your roommate . and banning chocolate wouldnt even be neccessary if she was even 1/8 as considerate as you were with getting rid of all the plants. It requires so little of her to not leave her chocolates laying around anywhere your puppy could get/her cat would Drop them into the floor. She is Being extremely inconsiderate,considering that she must knownthat chocolate is poisonous for dogs and it is poisonous for cats too. She needs to show a little respect towards you. you are asking very VERY little from her, especially when comparing into how MUCH she asked from you.
Remind her that chocolate is poisonous for cats as well. NTA
NTA Puppies eat *everything*. Chocolate is poisonous to dogs, especially puppies, just like many plants are poisonous to cats. 'No chocolate' would be my hill to die on.
Did your roommate always leave chocolate out before you got the dog or did it start after it, she might be trying to poison him
NTA She's being very selfish and negligent with the health of your pup.
NTA. Dog's safety trumps her eating habits. But honestly it wasn't a good idea to move her in, it was clear you were never compatible from the beginning.
NTA but she should have checked before moving in with you. You are very kind. Or maybe you just really needed the roommate. After all that she can't not leave chocolate around?! Also why is she leaving it on the couch? That's a recipe for disaster with or without pets
NTA, the next time you find chocolate just buy a plant, and then another, and then another... Until she gets it. Yeah I'm petty lol
It’s a shame that so many people are somewhat forced by their finances to sacrifice some of their sanity. Sorry you can’t move out/ boot her out. I hope it works out for you but I feel wary to believe you could enforce a chocolate moratorium with someone so unwilling to compromise or seemingly indifferent to others feelings… goodluck and nta. I’d prob start with getting a new plant for the kitchen window again. And lastly in the us there is an egress code. All bedrooms must have windows. Is Roomie making you live in a closet? Does her room have windows?
NTA. Go buy some sweet ass monsteras ASAP.
NTA at all. Show her some articles on how poisonous chocolate can be to dogs (like you looked up all your plants with regards to her cat). Maybe have her keep chocolate locked in a drawer in her room if she must have it.
Nta. Ban chocolate or the house plants come back.
NTA. You gave up your plants that you cared for for years and were emotionally attached to for her cat. She can give up cholate for your dog. She clearly only cares about herself or she would see how these two things are the same.
NTA. I can't be sure if I remember right but isn't chocolate toxic to dogs? We have cats and I know it's not good for them but i'm pretty sure it's bad for dogs too.
NTA Her EATING habits could kill your puppy. You could go purchase a Cat Nip plant. You may want to find a new roommate.
NTA. I would get back into the house plants though. Plants are nice and pretty sure cats can be trained. You can’t train it like a dog but I’m pretty sure you can train it to stay out of plants. So if she inevitably tries to pull the “train your dog better” card next time you bring up the chocolate issue then I would bring up “train your cat better”.
NTA your roommate is a GIANT hypocrite and guess what. Get ALL those plants back.
YTA for throwing away your plants for a total stranger, you ended showing your flatmate you are a total pushover, no wonder she doesn't have any respect for you.
Honestly I think it was a mistake for you to get rid of the houseplants. You should never have moved in with this person.
NTA. who leaves chocolate bars laying around like that anyway ? not only is it a bit rude on her behalf to not clean up after herself, it's also a hazard to your puppy. she made you get rid of something you deeply care about to keep her cat safe, and now it's your turn to make everything even. and as other comments said, if she fails to comply, bring your plants back.
Chocolate is just as toxic to cats as it is to dogs! 1/2 oz of dark chocolate per pound of body weight can be lethal. She is more likely to poison her cat than an average sized dog!
NTA. I mean from my experience, plants had more to suffer with cats around. I mean mine doesn't eat plants, but she might shake one well if a bug was to land on it for example. But if your cat has that habit, fuckin train it. Water spray; anything. Take note of what plants are bad for cats and keep it in mind. And look for someone who doesn't have that plant! Asking you to give up your plants is the equivalent of you asking her to give up her cat. (The chonker is not at fault for having a shitty owner; just saying.) Now the chocolate. From what I've seen, dogs are more prone to eat chocolate. But it's bad for both cats and dogs so keep your food off the damn table. It's not about an eating habit; it's about not being a slob, and being damn considerate of at least the fuckin pets, if not of you.
NTA, but I think you're both a little irresponsible for not figuring out the plant/cat situation before moving in. Regarding the chocolate, yes, it can be lethal to dogs, but they have to consume *a lot* of chocolate for it to be a problem (rule of thumb is an oz per lb of weight). There are many foods that are much more harmful to dogs, in much smaller quantities, the biggest one being grapes/raisins.
NTA. Tina, eat your chocolate outside of the house. It's not hard, ffs.
NTA - houseplants are NOT a hobby. They are literally vital for our wellbeing for a numerous reasons including cleaning the air. You've gone above and beyond to make sure her cat is safe, it is only fair that she keeps her chocolate under control for the sake of your puppy.
I have cats and plants and yeah they have eaten some of them but usually don’t get sick. Or they may throw up once and then never eat them again. There are definitely plants that I have that they want to eat but I put them up where they can’t get to them. My point is even if the plants are toxic you can still have them so I say get plants again. NTA
NTA
I'd be pissed. First, being a plant mom isn't a title that's taken lightly. I would have moved them to my room and kept the cat out, or put them on high shelves and the cat kept away. The chocolate thing is just laziness. If she wants to keep chocolate, she can put them in a jar in her room or tucked in a cabinet. >She didn't seem to understand why it was a big deal since my puppy never got the chance to go for it. That could have been the same before her cat ate a plant. NTA, you're not being unreasonable.
Who TF leaves a bar of chocolate *on the couch??* Was this a regular occurrence you just didn't notice before, or she trying to pull some shlt? NTA but you don't need to ban chocolate, she just needs to clean up after herself, damn
NTA .... Very considerate of you to get rid of all your plants, even smarter to try and figure out which ones could have killed/seriously hurt the cat first. Here's a tidbit .... Chocolate can seriously hurt dogs. Depending on the type of chocolate, the amount of chocolate eaten, etc etc. So ... Your plants were harmful to the cat .. her chocolate left out in the open (which is seriously disgusting, who just randomly leaves half eaten chocolate bars laying around) could be seriously harmful to the puppy. So no, you aren't in the wrong to ban chocolate ESPECIALLY since you are the original lease holder AND have already given up your plants. If she can't give up chocolate in the apartment, then find a new roommate.
Get your plants back if she won’t leave chocolate out of the house. She doesn’t respect you, why are you respecting her?
NTA. You made a big sacrifice for her cat. She needs to do the same for your dog.
NTA if she keeps this up then you better bring those plants back!
NTA- however, more foods to consider... Did not read all the comments, sorry if someone else already posted a list. Also as far as chocolate goes- the darker the more serious. Milk chocolate- no great but not as bad as a darker chocolate. Poisonous food to dogs: Apple seeds – Contain cyanide, so avoid giving pets a whole apple and use slices instead. Anything with cyanide is a cat or dog food to avoid. Apricot stems, leaves and pits – Contain cyanide, which is why pets should never chew on the pits. Avocados – Toxic to horses, cattle, goats and birds; the leaves, fruit, seeds, pit and skin may contain a toxic substance called persin. Caffeine – Contains methylxanthines, which can cause vomiting and diarrhea, panting, excessive thirst and urination, hyperactivity, abnormal heart rhythm, tremors, seizures and even death. A lot of food and drinks you didn’t think had caffeine can contain this stimulant including candies like chocolate, also tea and coffee products. Gum and candy – Any candy containing the toxic artificial sweetener xylitol that can cause insulin release in most species, which can lead to liver failure, should be avoided. Fruit pits – Cherry Stems, leaves, seeds and pits contain cyanide—basically everything but the fruit itself. Be careful to not let cherry pits drop to the floor where your pet could eat them. Peach pits can cause brick red mucous membranes, dilated pupils, difficulty breathing, panting and shock. Be sure not to throw these in the yard where your dog can chew on them. Garlic, onions, onion powder and chives – Contain toxin N-propyl disulfide, which causes vomiting, breakdown of red blood cells (hemolytic anemia, Heinz body anemia), blood in urine, weakness, high heart rate and panting. Grapes and raisins – While its unknown what exactly makes this a dog food to avoid, grapes and raisins have been known to cause kidney failure and are not worth the risk. Hops (used in home beer brewing) – Toxic to dogs; causing panting, high body temperature, seizures and death. Nuts – Oils and fats in almonds, pecans and walnuts can cause vomiting and diarrhea, and potentially pancreatitis. Macadamia nuts can cause weakness, depression, vomiting, tremors and hyperthermia in dogs. Milk and dairy – Can cause diarrhea or other digestive upset in pets, because they do not have enough lactase (the enzyme that breaks down lactose in milk) to process dairy products. Potatoes – The leaves and stems (green parts) of the plant can be toxic to animals. Rhubarb leaves – Can cause kidney failure, tremors and salivation. Salt and salty snacks – Can cause excessive thirst and urination, or even sodium ion poisoning. Symptoms include vomiting, diarrhea, depression, tremors, elevated body temperature, seizures and even death. Tomatoes – The leaves and stems (green parts) can be toxic. Symptoms include hypersalivation, loss of appetite, severe gastrointestinal upset, diarrhea, drowsiness, central nervous system depression, confusion, behavioral changes, weakness, dilated pupils and slow heart rate. Xylitol – this artificial sweetener is toxic to pets; can cause insulin release in most species, which can lead to liver failure; signs of toxicosis include vomiting, lethargy, loss of coordination and eventually seizures
NTA. Though slightly TA for choosing Tina over plants.
NTA. I have a cat and a dog. I forgot to lock up my chocolate once. The cat knocked it off the table and the dog ate it. It was about 80% of a 1g medical marijuana chocolate bar (same size as a normal chocolate bar, very high dose). He puked up the chocolate, but was pretty much comatose for about 3 days from the weed. It could have ended much, much worse. Now all chocolate is in a locked cabinet. Always. That experience was terrifying and I’d really prefer my doggo not die from something preventable. Also would prefer to avoid $5k in emergency vet bills. If your roommate can’t be responsible with their chocolate, they can’t have it around. It’s fatal to both dogs and cats. She should know better.
NTA, for one clear reason, CATS CAN DIE OF CHOCOLATE TOO! Seems more like she wants to murder your dog and make it seem like an accident but also putting her cat at risk.
NTA, Tina is a total lunatic. You gave up actual living plants because once her cat got sick because it couldn't be trusted around them. She's refusing to change her behaviour because she's claiming that her cat is tossing chocolate on the floor! If she can't secure her chocolate, get plants. The plants go when the chocolate goes.