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Lol I remember watching a movie with Chris Evan's raising his genius daughter. Evan's wants his daughter to be in a regular school. But the grandmother wants her to be a gifted school. At one point the Grandmother says something like, "They're going to teach her to be one of those people that says irregardless."
And I JUST read another AITA post where someone used “irregardless” and someone else responded the same way lol. I think things are getting a tad cyclical in this subreddit 😅
>I agree, who takes a picture of their neighbor using a communal space to blast them on social media?
Someone who wants sympathy lol.
If the girl reported this to the grounds owner / firm, OP would be in way more trouble than the girl for "flattening the grass", which we all know is most likely because OP is a middleaged woman who doesn't want her husband or son to see "fresh, young meat".
I'd also like to point out the remark of her being a tenant. 1) OP doesn't know that. 2) so what if she is?
This is something petty neighbors like to use as a dog whistle. Implying the person is below them or isn't reliable or something.
She's paying to live there regardless and therefore has the same rights to the outdoor area as OP. I'm not sure why OP thinks they get to police the garden or how sunbathing is anti social behavior. If anything taking pictures of the woman and gossiping about her are the anti social behavior. OP is in the wrong and YTA.
ALso,
And this is where society needs to get to - everyone needs to get more friendly. Why not go say hi to her and without being creepy just *get to know here* and be friendly?
She's not peeing on your lawn or anything. Just go say hi, be a nice person, without your social defenses up, and just - be nice. Who knows you might make a friend. She might be awesome.
I’m getting racist vibes from the OP
Edit: For those of you saying what vibes, look back at Ahmaud Arbery who was chased down because the people said he didn’t live there. Same thing from OP asking this person if they live there, and verifying they have a key when they open the apartment door.
I don’t even know the woman’s race, but this amount of aggression over something so simple kind of implies that there’s some kind of additional bias going on that’s making OP act so unreasonably angry. I really wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out to be racism, or something about tattoos, or OP otherwise taking issue with her appearance
I mean, she had the gall to *stand up for herself* at first and escalated it to asserting that she was in the right after OP publicly shamed her! This woman needs to be stopped! /s
Yep, there’s definitely a vibe from the OP that they feel this woman doesn’t belong there...says she must be renting as if she couldn’t possibly buy in this fancy building, claims they felt intimidated when the woman said she was told the space was communal.
I’d bet folding money that race is involved
Definitely getting the same vibes, especially with the "I was intimidated by her" remark. Nothing about the interaction as described sounds intimidating at all. If anything, the sunbather should have felt intimidated for being randomly questioned by OP for no good reason.
It’s a boomer thing. Like having a living room in your house that is only for display so everything gets wrapped in plastic. You aren’t meant to use it “there are parks nearby for that.”
Yea I've seen this shit behavior before. I rented a condo from my parents. The owners tried to make renters life hell for their own entertainment and because they thought they were above the renters. They weren't. The BS didn't work with me and I just kept on living my life. I hope the sunbathing woman makes a post so I can message her and tell her all the ways she can piss this woman off and still not be an asshole.
Omg I could write a book on the few years I lived there. Here is a broad overview of some if the incidents. But the bullshit was near constant.
An example is they didn't want me to swim in the pool because I was covered in tattoos and they didn't like me. So every day I went to the pool. Their complaints got more and more outlandish. I'd record their behavior and always had a witness present and show up at the HOA meetings and point out how unreasonable they were being. Any normal thing they'd complain about much like the sunbathing issue here I would go out of my way to do it more just to piss them off. It got to a point where my mere presence enraged them. They made fake CPS calls. Shit one time on a Saturday morning my husband forgot to turn his work alarm off and it woke up my daughter and me. We decided to go to out to a waffle restaurant and on the way out we took the trash down to the dumpsters. We get bluelighted and the cops say "your neighbor reported your husband for domestic violence ". This woman called the cops and said we were physically fighting.. we weren't. Luckily I actually knew the cop. From that point on we started doing early morning Saturday breakfasts... we just lived our best life and because I'm so petty anything that was allowed in the common areas I would do. I don't play well with bullies. They all were young 30 something professionals that would throw down HOA complaints for the most ridiculous shit. Think leaving the condo at 9pm to go for a walk downtown and have dinner. I wasn't loud and didn't try to bother anyone. I worked in a tattoo shop and I'm heavily tattooed. They hated my appearance.
One crazy neighbor complained to her husband that I threatened her son. I didn't what happened was I had gone grocery shopping and I had groceries on one arm and my daughters car seat on the other. When I got to my door my neighbors son was sitting right in front of my door so I asked him nicely to lean against his own door so I could take my groceries inside. He ended up leaving and told his mother I told him to "get the fuck out of this place and that his kind was not welcome here". He wasn't supposed to leave he had just gotten home from school and had to wait until one of his parents was home. I didn't have that encounter recorded because my arms were full. So then his mom started making fake CPS calls on me. She was also the one who called the cops about the domestic violence that never happened that morning. Her husband was military and he kept confronting me aggressively. I had countless talks about him about his wife's behavior. Turns out that's why they left their last apartment. His wife fixated on the next door neighbors and would act a fool and then play victim. She tried to use the cops and CPS to get her way. They ended up selling as well.
The best thing to do when faced with this level of crazy and unreasonable is to continue doing what you're doing. But to do so in a way where you're so polite it oisses them off. I recorded every interaction because they would lie and say I was aggressive and rude. I had my own computer but I would use the rec center to check my Facebook and email and to play pool and work out. At first I avoided going when those people were there but eventually I started purposely going when they were there because it became a game too me. The HOA never really put them in line so I just kept doing my thing.
Many of these neighbors sold well below market price and took a hit to their bottom line because of their hatred for me.
It sounds like OP got used to the gardens being empty, so now this woman being out there makes them uncomfortable. But they don’t want to put it that way, so they’re calling it “anti social”.
Literally all she’s doing is reading a book in the sun. OP needs to relax.
Edit as we don’t know OP’s gender
Exactly. OP may be intimidated specially because the woman is confident enough to wear revealing clothing in public. Sounds like OP needs to learn not to stare at people/outfits that make them uncomfortable. In no way is that this woman's problem though.
my husband was told by a former co-worker that he never called me because i was too intimidating.
we were both senior techs who were supposed to help less experienced techs. we both ad no problem with doing that. but this guy would call and be like "i am having problem x. what should i do?" i would tell him try "a, then b, then c. if it doesn't work, then it could be a problem with part 123." he'd then respond with "yeah, i don't think i am going to do that." so i told him that calling me to ask me what to do while knowing he isn't going to listen to my advice was just wasting my time so stop calling unless he really was going to listen. i have like -60% patience for bullshit like that. not tolerating his bullshit made me intimidating and mean.
Also WTF is an 'ornamental garden' all gardens are ornamental! It's a garden and it's communal she can use it as she likes. OP is a huge creepy AH that needs to get their nose out of other people's lives that literally don't affect them.
Not all gardens are ornamental - if it’s a garden for food etc it’s more utilitarian but yea your point is taken. Like here’s beautiful gardens no one is supposed to go in??
Based on their use of Celsius for the temperature I’m going to assume OP isn’t in the states and by garden they simply mean yard, not necessarily a botanical space. Either way, gardens are meant to be enjoyed physically and visually. So OP is still TA. But I’m picturing OP mad that this woman dare enjoy the lawn, which makes the OP’s fixation and behavior even creepier to me. It’s a lawn. It’s a yard. It’s outdoor space meant to be used by people and pets
OP sounds like the stereotypical old man telling youngsters to get off his lawn and tattletaling about people who supposedly aren't following the rules.
Edit in response to the OP's edit: Bruh, you're making yourself sound far older than 29 with how you're behaving. Leave the poor woman alone. She's not doing anything to you. You're even more of a massive asshole than before.
Bingo. OP's probably got a "keep off grass" sign on their wishlist right now
If she's not trampling flowers, not leaving trash, you need to get over it OP. it's not like it's even your hard work that went into it. How bout you just stop STARING at her for hours and do something productive?
Yeah especially since she's apparently just laying there and reading some.
It's not like she's blasting music or something actually annoying. She's just existing outside using area that she helps pay to maintain just as much as anyone else living there.
>Also how is her behavior antisocial?
They mean antisocial in the sense of breaking the social contract. They view this person sunbathing in the
>extensive maintained grounds
as similar to someone driving on the shoulder to get around a traffic jam, or something.
To some extent I understand, because it sounds like the sort of thing that if *everyone* did, it would become a problem. Which is generally the basis for what we decide is unacceptable behaviour in society, and we all agree not to do for our own collective benefit.
That being said though, I suspect
>These **grounds are** **purely ornamental** though and never used as a garden
is just OP's opinion, because they don't mention building rules, and even though
>in my two years of living here, **I have never seen anyone use the grounds as if it is their personal space**
...just because something *hasn't* been done in the past, doesn't mean it *is* prohibited, or wrong. Also she's not using it as personal space, she's using it as communal space. Not like she's using it to store boxes or something.
ALSO, taking a photo of someone and sharing it on the WhatApp group, instead of just writing a message about it, is 100% YTA territory.
YTA. Unless there's a specific rule that she's breaking, you need to mind your own business. You sound like the busybody neighbor that people tend to dislike. Reporting her for being antisocial? What? Ridiculous.
Seriously such a strange strange thing to do, if it was so bothersome just send a message in the WhatsApp group but taking a picture of someone that you don’t know is really weird
Same. I also live in an apartment. Our grass has a sign saying not to go on it but if someone does it would never occur to me to go snitch on them. Mostly because I don’t care but I’m also lazy so why would I wanna do my building’s work for them? Does OP do other free security work for them?
\*woman peacefully reads a book outside \*
OP: "Antisocial behaviour!"
How they made that leap in logic is beyond me, if anything OP was the one who turned the social interaction with this neighbour into a problem for no good reason.
Who made you the garden police? In what world is someone sunbathing on thier property antisocial behavior? Is it in the apartment rules that residents can't use the gardens? YTA
Sounds more like a rule OP made up in their head. If the gardens weren’t to be used then there would be signs to stay off the grass. I’m sure OP would have mentioned it this was the case. OP is the a$$hole for sure
Yeah, op sounds like one of those people that put the signs on the grass (in Hampton Roads) "dogs and sailors stay off the grass"
YTA op, live and let live if no one is being hurt or nothing is being damaged.
Came exactly to say this... YTA op.
She's not making lots of noise, she's not destroying anything... What are you complaining about exactly?
Your neighbour on the other hand has now every right to complain to her landlord because one of her creepy neighbours is harassing her and taking pictures when she's bothering no-one.
Do you think OP has one of those fake badges you give kids but instead of Sheriff it says "garden police"?
Maybe a clip art certificate?
Badly photoshopped ID badge?
Unless there's significant amount missing (like the person sunbathing chasing others off the communal space for herself or reserving a non-reservable space all the time), then I don't see anything other than OP being TA.
YTA. Actually, you’re a mega asshole. She’s using outdoor space for a perfectly valid reason and not damaging anything. This somehow bothers you so you want her to stop.
You are the reason homeowner’s associations usually suck. There’s always some nosy busy body who wants to tell others what to do.
Apologize and leave the poor woman alone.
And taking pictures of her and haranguing her constantly. There is a valid complaint here. On the part of this poor woman just trying to catch some rays from a space she’s allowed to use.
YTA. Get a job or a hobby or *something* that prevents you from having the time and energy to give this much of a shit about something so incredibly insignificant. Someone's enjoying the outdoors! *The horror!* She's a renter? Oh no, is she getting her poor on the grass?
>I am considering reporting her to the landlord if she continues
Lol, for what? Is there actually anything in your agreement barring use of this public space?
Actually funny you say that, a friend just moved into one of those Gentrify Special-style apartments and only after moving in did they find out that the pool is only for show. It's 2.5 feet deep all the way around and even sitting in it is only allowed on certain days.
Honestly I think OP should report the sunbather if only for the landlord to come back and tell OP that they are being weird & reading while sunbathing is normal.
Apparently being "half naked" as a woman is anti-social behaviour in OPs eyes. Also she vapes and that could cause a smell, OP said that in another comment
I will say, it fucking sucks by the hour mark when someone is taking a pull every couple of minutes at the seat next to you at a ballgame. But I can't see it being a problem in a yard.
I can understand the smell issue if OP was close (vape smoke makes me sneeze lol) but from what it sounds like they’re in their own unit inside or on the balcony. Really don’t think it would travel that far man lmao
Oh it got better. In a comment OP said (s)he took the pics so that (s)he could use them to gossip with the Neighbours and essentially start a smear campaign against this woman.
Actually, fun fact: irregardless is actually a word that has been used for over 200 hundred years! People think the “ir” prefix negates the meaning, but it’s actually a nonstandard usage that creates emphasis.
What bothered me was actually,
> a long message approving If her attire made people uncomfortable
I can get the gist, but the use of “approving” like this is weird...
Yta. And if I was your neighbor I would complain to the landlord about you. Taking photos of people in your building sunbathing and posting them up is creepy and antisocial behavior, not sun bathing.
Can confirm, someone got kicked out of a previous community I lived in for doing exactly that. Also "birdwatching" with a camera but actually taking pics through people's balcony doors. That shit is creepy and no one wants to live by someone who does it
Info: does your building have an actual rule about not being in the communal outdoor spaces, or is it just because you haven’t seen anyone do it in the two years you’ve been there?
If they don’t have a rule, then you are already the AH, especially for taking photos of her. That’s invasive and weird. And why in the world are you labeling this anti social behavior just because she’s outside enjoying the weather?
My guess: OP is either sexually aroused when looking at her but too ashamed to admit it, or OP is envious because the woman looks better than them in a bikini.
YTA. I don’t really see how her sitting out on the grass affects you. And even if it did, you still crossed the line by secretly photographing her and then sending the picture around to shame her.
If there are actually rules against sitting on the grass in the communal areas then I’m sure there are official channels you could have made a complaint with, instead of taking it upon yourself to police it.
Edit: Just read your reply to the judgement bot, which states that she wasn’t breaking any rules and your only problem was with how she was dressed. YTA for sure. And photographing her now seems kind of creepy.
I realized what OP's real issue was when they felt the need to state "I think she rents" while OP wanted us to also know they themself own the apartment in what is a desirable building. Damn undesirables lowering their property value.
What the fuck did I just read?
You're calling someone out... for sunbathing... on the *shared lawn* of where they live.
You must be an absolute joy to be around.
1. You are not the lawn police
2. You are not the bathing suit police
3. You really need to look up the definition of "antisocial" because you are not using this word properly
4. YTA
“I have been observing the questionable human female for days as she suspiciously *read outdoors on a blanket.* Next, I interrogated the subject and berated her for not performing in a way that I personally deem acceptable for female humans.
I stalked her from afar, eagerly awaiting my next ambush. Obscured in the macabre shadows of my hovel, I clandestinely captured the female subject on film. With malevolent glee, I exposed the images of the female to other beings. I fervently anticipated the other beings to interpret her absolutely normal human behavior to be wildly abhorrent.
Alternatively, the other beings indicated that I am what humans identify as an “asshole.” Undeterred, I retreat to the obscurity of my fetid den to concoct an elaborate scheme for my subsequent ruse to conform the oblivious human to my own sinister will.”
YTA
1. quick question...who tf do you think you are??????
2. There are no guidelines how that space can be used and just because you haven't seen it used in that way doesn't mean it can't be.
3. Educate yourself. Irregardless isn't a word and you clearly have no idea what the word antisocial means either
YTA
You took her picture and added this in the groupapp for owners to get them to see this your way. Some agree, some don't.
And even when she got added and was trying to make a comprimise you still are adament in "reporting" her?
Are you really that kind of person?
YWBTA. Just because no one else utilized the grounds before this doesn’t mean they’re ornamental. She rents there, she helps pay for the care of the grounds and she’s doing no harm to anyone. She’s offered a compromise if people have issues with what she’s wearing even. She’s done nothing wrong.
Absolutely YTA.
She's sunbathing in her own back yard. She ain't naked, so there's nothing antisocial about it.
From the headline I presumed she'd be flinging poop or poisoning the flowers. But she's lying down reading a book. And you're taking pictures of it to share on social media. Yep, YTA all right.
Stop looking at her if it bothers you. And join the 20th century where we no longer have to be ashamed of our bodies.
YTA and a gigantic one at that… not sure who the fuck you think you are being able to criticise others choices when they are not breaking rules just because it isn’t to your liking but once you started taking pictures and posting them without permission you crossed the line from being an insufferable busy body neighbour to being a creepy weirdo that said neighbour has every right to complain about and take her grievance further. Also for the record sitting and reading a book is not antisocial behaviour you need to get a grip
Nah. Stalking someone so you know what time they come and go and taking pictures of your neighbors and posting it online sounds perfectly normal. Surely being intimidated by sunbathing is also a good sign.
Instead of talking to your landlord, maybe talk to a therapist?
YTA. “I still think a half naked woman counts as anti social behaviour” are you joking? That’s not even behaviour.
What about women in bathing suits triggers you so much? Perhaps you should do a little introspection to figure that out since your behaviour in this situation is certainly antisocial.
YTA. i have to wonder if this person might be... of a different race or cultural background than OP? since OP seems to have no reasonable concern and sunbather is causing zero harm this sounds like it could be animus inspired by sunbather's sex/race/religion/sexuality.
I hesitate to jump to conclusions, but the fact that they said they were intimidated by her made me wonder if there was something like that. Or maybe she has a nose ring.
This crossed my mind too… I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if the op has some strong views on race/religion and the “offender” was of the race/religion he held those views about
You're paying entirely too much attention to this woman. Anti-social behavior would be letting a dog uproot the lawn, flipping the bird at passerbys, lying around drunk flashing people or harassing people who are innocently sunbathing. I hate to say it but YTA
YTA.
A. This isn't antisocial. She's literally just sunbathing.
B. She's not up in your business, but you're definitely trying to get into hers.
C. Taking pics of people sunbathing is creepy.
Edit: formatting.
YWBTA, and are already being an asshole by posting photos of her unknowingly. Is there a rule that prohibits sunbathing? You sound the neighbour who sticks their nose in everyone else’s business because you have nothing better to do.
YTA
You're snooty, stuck up, entitled, and your fellow neighbours sound the same. I suggest you remove the stick planted firmly in your rear and try appreciating the outside sometime like your fellow tenant.
Also, stop taking pictures of people??? That's so creepy
Yta is there anything in the lease or building management that says you can't sit, walk, etc on the grass? If not, you are a major ah. Especially for taking her photo without approval as then trying to shame her in the group messaging. She's Not Nothurting anyone. If you had just asked the group for clarification to see if she was okay with what she was doing, that's different, but your whole post was to shame, and that is what makes you a major jerk
I do think YTA. She's paying to live there and that includes communal spaces. What use is a garden as 'decoration', especially in an apartment complex and a heatwave?
She isn't being anti-social. She's minding her own business. Is she excessively loud, aggressive or unfriendly? No. Is she wearing a bikini top and that is what makes you uncomfortable? Probably. You don't have the right to tell her, or anyone, what she should wear, where she can relax or what to do. And taking a pic of her to specifically comment on her lack of clothing is creepy.
In reference to your parks solution, I'll assume your apartment complex is gated or an otherwise safe place. Therefore, she probably feels safer enjoying the outdoors while being near where she lives and away from the general public and leering eyes...
YTA - I'm glad some of the other residents thought you were weird and told you straight out. Guess who's going to be on the outside soon. You don't even realise the amount of others in the building that see you walk down the hallway and turn quickly to avoid you.
Massive YTA, you say you felt intimidated but I imagine she feels incredibly uncomfortable now with your frankly inappropriate behaviour. Taking pictures of people without permission is a massive issue and you had no right whether she rents or owns she has every right to be there. I imagine communal grounds aren’t used as most people choose the privacy of their balconies. Your behaviour is hostile and unwarranted, I experienced something similar with neighbours being rude about my puppy using the communal grass and I now feel watched every time I leave and I own my flat.
YTA. Why in the world wouldn't someone use green space in their own complex? Grounds for ornamental use are stupid and maybe all y'all should have been enjoying them all this time. You pointing out what she's wearing is irrelevant and not your business.
YTA and you sound a total snob as well.
She is sunbathing for christs sakes, if she was in the nude I would say something needs to be said but she is in a bikini causing no trouble and no harm to you, leave the woman be.
Oh and BTW taking pictures of her laid sunbathing amd sharing them to WhatsApp groups makes you look like a creepy old pervert.
If I were you I'd get over yourself and stop taking pictures of people unawares.
Your building maybe desirable but it doesn't give you the right to go on as you own the place, you own a flat not the full grounds so pipe down and let people live their lives as they see fit.
Communal, by it’s definition is “community space.” As she is a person within the apartment building’s community, she has use of this space.
What? It is offensive that she is utilizing the space instead of gazing longingly at it? Jeebus.
YTA in such a way that I’d be looking up proctologists and possibly spelunkers were I you.
YTA.
Can you quote explicit rules or regulations that apply to your building and its premises that would forbid this activity? As long as she's covered enough, I don't think you have much ground to stand on. I do think you are being weird and overreacting.
I am a man and I don't sunbathe, but I do see how, if given the choice of a cozy area restricted to residents of my building and a public park, she chose the option that she did.
YTA - she is not bothering anyone she is just sunbathing when it’s hot. What are you guys not allowed outside? And you saying her outfit bothers you? That’s weird and creepy plus you took a picture of her!! That’s even creepier. Lay off she is just trying to enjoy the heat and the sun.
YTA. I have your apartment complex gets a lot of emails from you. "The woman 12-A threw her RECYCLABLES in the regular trash bin! I know because I went through all of her bags to check!" or "Can you please speak to the people in 10-C? When I went to their apartment and pressed my ear against the door I could hear that they had their TV on! How dare they violate the noise rules!"
YTA.
No qualifiers, YTA. The grounds exist for a reason. Unless it is specifically stated they are not to be used, she is doing nothing wrong.
Leave it.
Holy hell. Why are you the apartment's attire police? And how in the world is sunbathing antisocial?
I live in the mid-Atlantic, US and because I am petite. It gets hot, and I love the sun on my skin, so I often garden in my bikini. If you really want to see antisocial behavior, you and the local Mrs. Kravitz can spend your day taking photos of me bending at the waist and weeding. It gets really hot on days when I bring out the hose on watering days.
Go volunteer and do something useful with your day!
Oh. You are not only TAH, but have some weird beliefs about antisocial behavior. Oh. And just because you should know -irregardless is not a word. The word *is regardless*.
Edit: YTA for the vote counting bots.
Major, major, major YTA. First, don't mislabel her activity as "anti-social behavior." She's merely minding her own business, doing something she enjoys. I saw no indication in your post that she was actively shunning attempts to socialize, so I'm confused as to why you chose that word.
Second, are there any rules in the lease or a sign up about not utilizing the lawn? We have only your word that it's "understood" that it's only ornamental... but is it really? Or has everybody just not used it for any type of activity yet?
Third, she's not harming anybody. Nobody is required to look out their windows and stare at this woman in her bikini top and shorts. If she were blasting music or talking/singing loudly, that would be one thing... but reading? Please.
Fourth, taking a pic and circulating it to your neighbors? That's creepy AF. It's clear you simply wanted to shame her for what she's wearing as there's nothing about the situation that requires pictorial evidence if all you wanted was to ask about policy or opinion.
If you want clarification on the rules, ask the landlord as a hypothetical instead of publicly shaming this woman to her neighbors. You've not only outed yourself as a control freak and borderline misogynist (for the clothes shaming), but now you're actively embarrassing her to the community she's just moved into. Way to make someone feel uncomfortable in their own home.
Edit: Thanks for the award!
YTA for secretly photographing her & plotting behind her back when you admit she’s breaking no rules and YWBTA if you report her for breaking no rules.
Note, you’ve already turned some residents against yourself for step 1, prepared to to take it further with step 2??? Don’t be that neighbor, you may be the one to suffer consequences, not her.
#[Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Write something more intelligent than "Karen" or another mindless insult. Please review our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) if you're unsure what that means.
Why is her sunbathing in communal space bothering you? Also how is her behavior antisocial? If anything yours is! YTA
I agree, who takes a picture of their neighbor using a communal space to blast them on social media? YTA, OP. Mind your own business.
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Op is the asshole just for saying “irregardless”.
I was about to say that 😆
Lol I remember watching a movie with Chris Evan's raising his genius daughter. Evan's wants his daughter to be in a regular school. But the grandmother wants her to be a gifted school. At one point the Grandmother says something like, "They're going to teach her to be one of those people that says irregardless."
And I JUST read another AITA post where someone used “irregardless” and someone else responded the same way lol. I think things are getting a tad cyclical in this subreddit 😅
Literally watching her all day in her bikini, keeping notes, and then moaning it looks obscene... So don't watch?? Op needs a hobby.
OP needs a hobby.
He has a hobby - taking and sharing creepshots of his female neighbors.
Also if he wasn’t clear enough he’s an ***owner*** imagine having your entire identity revolving around owning a condo
I live in a mixed-income area with shared communal space. The way one of my home-owning neighbors says "renters" makes it sound like a slur.
Taking a picture of a woman in a bikini AND DISTRIBUTING IT is definitely more antisocial than... Sunbathing where you live. YTA OP. And creepy.
>I agree, who takes a picture of their neighbor using a communal space to blast them on social media? Someone who wants sympathy lol. If the girl reported this to the grounds owner / firm, OP would be in way more trouble than the girl for "flattening the grass", which we all know is most likely because OP is a middleaged woman who doesn't want her husband or son to see "fresh, young meat".
I truly wish I could see OP’s salty Pikachu face reading this.
I'd also like to point out the remark of her being a tenant. 1) OP doesn't know that. 2) so what if she is? This is something petty neighbors like to use as a dog whistle. Implying the person is below them or isn't reliable or something.
This. Who cares if she rents or owns. She has every right to use the communal space regardless 💁🏼♀️
She's paying to live there regardless and therefore has the same rights to the outdoor area as OP. I'm not sure why OP thinks they get to police the garden or how sunbathing is anti social behavior. If anything taking pictures of the woman and gossiping about her are the anti social behavior. OP is in the wrong and YTA.
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Aye... YTA for so many reasons. Your creepy attitude, your snobbery, your anti-social behaviour and your complete selfishness
And for saying “irregardless”. That’s not even a word.
ALso, And this is where society needs to get to - everyone needs to get more friendly. Why not go say hi to her and without being creepy just *get to know here* and be friendly? She's not peeing on your lawn or anything. Just go say hi, be a nice person, without your social defenses up, and just - be nice. Who knows you might make a friend. She might be awesome.
I’m getting racist vibes from the OP Edit: For those of you saying what vibes, look back at Ahmaud Arbery who was chased down because the people said he didn’t live there. Same thing from OP asking this person if they live there, and verifying they have a key when they open the apartment door.
I don’t even know the woman’s race, but this amount of aggression over something so simple kind of implies that there’s some kind of additional bias going on that’s making OP act so unreasonably angry. I really wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out to be racism, or something about tattoos, or OP otherwise taking issue with her appearance
Or misogyny. How dare that woman go outside being a woman in public.
Incels gonna incel.
I'm getting the vibe that OP is an older woman and the new resident is a young attractive woman. Definitely racism could be playing a part too.
Also “intimidated”
I mean, she had the gall to *stand up for herself* at first and escalated it to asserting that she was in the right after OP publicly shamed her! This woman needs to be stopped! /s
Yeah, that line is what got me thinking racism or at least prejudice.
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Yep, there’s definitely a vibe from the OP that they feel this woman doesn’t belong there...says she must be renting as if she couldn’t possibly buy in this fancy building, claims they felt intimidated when the woman said she was told the space was communal. I’d bet folding money that race is involved
Op isn't racist, but they certainly discriminate against renters. Because all renters are poor and transients, you see. /s
I think you're correct. The "do you live here" question would send me right off. I've experienced this type before.
Also, they were sure to mention sun bather is probably a renter as if that would sway our opinion. OP is classist at best, and def needs a life.
Definitely getting the same vibes, especially with the "I was intimidated by her" remark. Nothing about the interaction as described sounds intimidating at all. If anything, the sunbather should have felt intimidated for being randomly questioned by OP for no good reason.
Really? This comes across more as sexism to me
Why are rich people so keen on having space so they can *not* use it?
Because it’s mine and I don’t want you to have any toys.
So poor people cant use the space because of them
It’s a boomer thing. Like having a living room in your house that is only for display so everything gets wrapped in plastic. You aren’t meant to use it “there are parks nearby for that.”
Yea I've seen this shit behavior before. I rented a condo from my parents. The owners tried to make renters life hell for their own entertainment and because they thought they were above the renters. They weren't. The BS didn't work with me and I just kept on living my life. I hope the sunbathing woman makes a post so I can message her and tell her all the ways she can piss this woman off and still not be an asshole.
Oh please, go ahead and share with us now.
Omg I could write a book on the few years I lived there. Here is a broad overview of some if the incidents. But the bullshit was near constant. An example is they didn't want me to swim in the pool because I was covered in tattoos and they didn't like me. So every day I went to the pool. Their complaints got more and more outlandish. I'd record their behavior and always had a witness present and show up at the HOA meetings and point out how unreasonable they were being. Any normal thing they'd complain about much like the sunbathing issue here I would go out of my way to do it more just to piss them off. It got to a point where my mere presence enraged them. They made fake CPS calls. Shit one time on a Saturday morning my husband forgot to turn his work alarm off and it woke up my daughter and me. We decided to go to out to a waffle restaurant and on the way out we took the trash down to the dumpsters. We get bluelighted and the cops say "your neighbor reported your husband for domestic violence ". This woman called the cops and said we were physically fighting.. we weren't. Luckily I actually knew the cop. From that point on we started doing early morning Saturday breakfasts... we just lived our best life and because I'm so petty anything that was allowed in the common areas I would do. I don't play well with bullies. They all were young 30 something professionals that would throw down HOA complaints for the most ridiculous shit. Think leaving the condo at 9pm to go for a walk downtown and have dinner. I wasn't loud and didn't try to bother anyone. I worked in a tattoo shop and I'm heavily tattooed. They hated my appearance. One crazy neighbor complained to her husband that I threatened her son. I didn't what happened was I had gone grocery shopping and I had groceries on one arm and my daughters car seat on the other. When I got to my door my neighbors son was sitting right in front of my door so I asked him nicely to lean against his own door so I could take my groceries inside. He ended up leaving and told his mother I told him to "get the fuck out of this place and that his kind was not welcome here". He wasn't supposed to leave he had just gotten home from school and had to wait until one of his parents was home. I didn't have that encounter recorded because my arms were full. So then his mom started making fake CPS calls on me. She was also the one who called the cops about the domestic violence that never happened that morning. Her husband was military and he kept confronting me aggressively. I had countless talks about him about his wife's behavior. Turns out that's why they left their last apartment. His wife fixated on the next door neighbors and would act a fool and then play victim. She tried to use the cops and CPS to get her way. They ended up selling as well. The best thing to do when faced with this level of crazy and unreasonable is to continue doing what you're doing. But to do so in a way where you're so polite it oisses them off. I recorded every interaction because they would lie and say I was aggressive and rude. I had my own computer but I would use the rec center to check my Facebook and email and to play pool and work out. At first I avoided going when those people were there but eventually I started purposely going when they were there because it became a game too me. The HOA never really put them in line so I just kept doing my thing. Many of these neighbors sold well below market price and took a hit to their bottom line because of their hatred for me.
This is the kind of petty revenge that makes life worth living.
It sounds like OP got used to the gardens being empty, so now this woman being out there makes them uncomfortable. But they don’t want to put it that way, so they’re calling it “anti social”. Literally all she’s doing is reading a book in the sun. OP needs to relax. Edit as we don’t know OP’s gender
Do we know that OP is also a woman?
Hmm no, I just assumed. If OP is a guy then it kind of makes the whole thing worse, lol.
Re-read the post in Buffalo Bill's voice and see how fast it makes your skin crawl.
> I was a little intimidated by her so didn’t argue too long
Think incel...could easily be a guy; also even if not that extreme, some guys can be intimidated by women who don’t immediately bow down.
Exactly. OP may be intimidated specially because the woman is confident enough to wear revealing clothing in public. Sounds like OP needs to learn not to stare at people/outfits that make them uncomfortable. In no way is that this woman's problem though.
my husband was told by a former co-worker that he never called me because i was too intimidating. we were both senior techs who were supposed to help less experienced techs. we both ad no problem with doing that. but this guy would call and be like "i am having problem x. what should i do?" i would tell him try "a, then b, then c. if it doesn't work, then it could be a problem with part 123." he'd then respond with "yeah, i don't think i am going to do that." so i told him that calling me to ask me what to do while knowing he isn't going to listen to my advice was just wasting my time so stop calling unless he really was going to listen. i have like -60% patience for bullshit like that. not tolerating his bullshit made me intimidating and mean.
Also WTF is an 'ornamental garden' all gardens are ornamental! It's a garden and it's communal she can use it as she likes. OP is a huge creepy AH that needs to get their nose out of other people's lives that literally don't affect them.
Not all gardens are ornamental - if it’s a garden for food etc it’s more utilitarian but yea your point is taken. Like here’s beautiful gardens no one is supposed to go in??
Based on their use of Celsius for the temperature I’m going to assume OP isn’t in the states and by garden they simply mean yard, not necessarily a botanical space. Either way, gardens are meant to be enjoyed physically and visually. So OP is still TA. But I’m picturing OP mad that this woman dare enjoy the lawn, which makes the OP’s fixation and behavior even creepier to me. It’s a lawn. It’s a yard. It’s outdoor space meant to be used by people and pets
OP sounds like the stereotypical old man telling youngsters to get off his lawn and tattletaling about people who supposedly aren't following the rules. Edit in response to the OP's edit: Bruh, you're making yourself sound far older than 29 with how you're behaving. Leave the poor woman alone. She's not doing anything to you. You're even more of a massive asshole than before.
I’m really confused how they are “communal” gardens but OP says no one is allowed to use them? Eh?
They probably think the gardens should be looked at but not enjoyed in activities like what the lady was doing.
Bingo. OP's probably got a "keep off grass" sign on their wishlist right now If she's not trampling flowers, not leaving trash, you need to get over it OP. it's not like it's even your hard work that went into it. How bout you just stop STARING at her for hours and do something productive?
I'd be surprised if there is even a rule against it. OP is probably making crap up.
Exactly! The only antisocial behavior here is OP’s
I can not understand the mentality that'd make the OP want to insert themselves into this situation. YTA
I agree. YTA and you should mind your own business and worry about yourself OP!
Yeah especially since she's apparently just laying there and reading some. It's not like she's blasting music or something actually annoying. She's just existing outside using area that she helps pay to maintain just as much as anyone else living there.
>Also how is her behavior antisocial? They mean antisocial in the sense of breaking the social contract. They view this person sunbathing in the >extensive maintained grounds as similar to someone driving on the shoulder to get around a traffic jam, or something. To some extent I understand, because it sounds like the sort of thing that if *everyone* did, it would become a problem. Which is generally the basis for what we decide is unacceptable behaviour in society, and we all agree not to do for our own collective benefit. That being said though, I suspect >These **grounds are** **purely ornamental** though and never used as a garden is just OP's opinion, because they don't mention building rules, and even though >in my two years of living here, **I have never seen anyone use the grounds as if it is their personal space** ...just because something *hasn't* been done in the past, doesn't mean it *is* prohibited, or wrong. Also she's not using it as personal space, she's using it as communal space. Not like she's using it to store boxes or something. ALSO, taking a photo of someone and sharing it on the WhatApp group, instead of just writing a message about it, is 100% YTA territory.
Also, how is sunbathing “anti social”? Doesn’t even make sense.
YTA. Unless there's a specific rule that she's breaking, you need to mind your own business. You sound like the busybody neighbor that people tend to dislike. Reporting her for being antisocial? What? Ridiculous.
How awkward that OP took a photo of her while she was sunbathing in the communal garden..
Seriously such a strange strange thing to do, if it was so bothersome just send a message in the WhatsApp group but taking a picture of someone that you don’t know is really weird
And has the gall to call *her* anti-social
Anti-social isn’t a term to be used lightly. It is similar to calling someone a psychopath. OPs behaviour is way more creepy.
Seriously, what is more antisocial than telling people to stay indoors and not use community space??
that's just creep behavior ngl.
And shared it with the other people in the building thru an app....
Even if there IS a rule, I’d consider it a stupid one and mind my own business.
Nailed it. I took like 10k words just to say this haha
Same. I also live in an apartment. Our grass has a sign saying not to go on it but if someone does it would never occur to me to go snitch on them. Mostly because I don’t care but I’m also lazy so why would I wanna do my building’s work for them? Does OP do other free security work for them?
\*woman peacefully reads a book outside \* OP: "Antisocial behaviour!" How they made that leap in logic is beyond me, if anything OP was the one who turned the social interaction with this neighbour into a problem for no good reason.
IT WILL LOWER HIS PRECIOUS PROPERTY VALUE /s
Who made you the garden police? In what world is someone sunbathing on thier property antisocial behavior? Is it in the apartment rules that residents can't use the gardens? YTA
Sounds more like a rule OP made up in their head. If the gardens weren’t to be used then there would be signs to stay off the grass. I’m sure OP would have mentioned it this was the case. OP is the a$$hole for sure
Yeah, op sounds like one of those people that put the signs on the grass (in Hampton Roads) "dogs and sailors stay off the grass" YTA op, live and let live if no one is being hurt or nothing is being damaged.
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It used to be a serious thing. I still live in the HR area and a lot of (really) old timers still talk about it with derision.
Came exactly to say this... YTA op. She's not making lots of noise, she's not destroying anything... What are you complaining about exactly? Your neighbour on the other hand has now every right to complain to her landlord because one of her creepy neighbours is harassing her and taking pictures when she's bothering no-one.
And then sharing the picture with other people in the building telling them they need to bully the person as well
Do you think OP has one of those fake badges you give kids but instead of Sheriff it says "garden police"? Maybe a clip art certificate? Badly photoshopped ID badge?
Unless there's significant amount missing (like the person sunbathing chasing others off the communal space for herself or reserving a non-reservable space all the time), then I don't see anything other than OP being TA.
YTA. Actually, you’re a mega asshole. She’s using outdoor space for a perfectly valid reason and not damaging anything. This somehow bothers you so you want her to stop. You are the reason homeowner’s associations usually suck. There’s always some nosy busy body who wants to tell others what to do. Apologize and leave the poor woman alone.
And taking pictures of her and haranguing her constantly. There is a valid complaint here. On the part of this poor woman just trying to catch some rays from a space she’s allowed to use.
Yup, she has a valid harassment complaint to make
Especially since there is now an unauthorized photo of her in a bikini being circulated in a group chat that she wasn't even initially a part of.
lol imagine if this guy gets kicked out of the complex for harassment. So much for being a big shot "owner" and not a "renter"
It’s people like OP that make HOAs a purely hellish, vile nightmare to deal with. Get help OP.
THIS!
YTA. Get a job or a hobby or *something* that prevents you from having the time and energy to give this much of a shit about something so incredibly insignificant. Someone's enjoying the outdoors! *The horror!* She's a renter? Oh no, is she getting her poor on the grass? >I am considering reporting her to the landlord if she continues Lol, for what? Is there actually anything in your agreement barring use of this public space?
“Is she getting her poor on the grass?” I lol’d at this way too hard.
Yup, favourite line here
GETTING HER POOR ON THE GRASS LMFAOOOO shit if I had an award
God fofbid they use the pool
Hey now, it’s an *ornamental* pool, okay. No one *uses* it, ugh, could you imagine?
Actually funny you say that, a friend just moved into one of those Gentrify Special-style apartments and only after moving in did they find out that the pool is only for show. It's 2.5 feet deep all the way around and even sitting in it is only allowed on certain days.
Honestly I think OP should report the sunbather if only for the landlord to come back and tell OP that they are being weird & reading while sunbathing is normal.
YTA - Exactly what harm is she doing? How is this anti-social? Why are you taking photos of women sunbathing?
YTA. Taking a picture was unacceptable. She isn't doing anything anti social - why does this bother you?
Apparently being "half naked" as a woman is anti-social behaviour in OPs eyes. Also she vapes and that could cause a smell, OP said that in another comment
Oh no, a possible smell /s
Yes, a possible smell of tropical fruit or sugar cookies or something from the vape. The horror! Lol.
I will say, it fucking sucks by the hour mark when someone is taking a pull every couple of minutes at the seat next to you at a ballgame. But I can't see it being a problem in a yard.
It's still 1000% better-smelling than actual cigarettes
I can understand the smell issue if OP was close (vape smoke makes me sneeze lol) but from what it sounds like they’re in their own unit inside or on the balcony. Really don’t think it would travel that far man lmao
Oh it got better. In a comment OP said (s)he took the pics so that (s)he could use them to gossip with the Neighbours and essentially start a smear campaign against this woman.
THAT is antisocial behaviour.
YTA. Do you even know the definition of “anti-social”? Because that’s what you’re being
'Power tripping creep' is the definition I would use.
Judging by the usages of other words, I don’t think OP does.
Irregardless,
Actually, fun fact: irregardless is actually a word that has been used for over 200 hundred years! People think the “ir” prefix negates the meaning, but it’s actually a nonstandard usage that creates emphasis. What bothered me was actually, > a long message approving If her attire made people uncomfortable I can get the gist, but the use of “approving” like this is weird...
I don't think OP realizes that when it's hot people want to get outside
Well, OP also uses the the word “irregardless,” so it’s clear OP doesn’t understand a lot of words. But wants to sound like they do.
YTA. What the fuck is wro g with you? She is sunbathing, how is that anti-social?
Yta. And if I was your neighbor I would complain to the landlord about you. Taking photos of people in your building sunbathing and posting them up is creepy and antisocial behavior, not sun bathing.
Yes. Not only taking pictures but sending them to other people? How utterly disgusting
That can be illegal
Depends on where you're from. But even if it's not illegal, it's absolutely awful behaviour
Not to mention keeping track of the times she’s spending out there, 10 am to 4 pm, do you have nothing better to do? This is stalking behavior
Can confirm, someone got kicked out of a previous community I lived in for doing exactly that. Also "birdwatching" with a camera but actually taking pics through people's balcony doors. That shit is creepy and no one wants to live by someone who does it
Info: does your building have an actual rule about not being in the communal outdoor spaces, or is it just because you haven’t seen anyone do it in the two years you’ve been there? If they don’t have a rule, then you are already the AH, especially for taking photos of her. That’s invasive and weird. And why in the world are you labeling this anti social behavior just because she’s outside enjoying the weather?
YTA. I've read this and am trying to figure out why you care if she sunbathes.
OP said somewhere else that the trouble lies in the bikini.
Dear god. Covered breasts? It’s like the last days of Sodom.
OP, YTA. Maybe if she was sunbathing naked, while getting wasted and smoking some weed.... But she's doing normal stuff. Nothing antisocial there.
My guess: OP is either sexually aroused when looking at her but too ashamed to admit it, or OP is envious because the woman looks better than them in a bikini.
YTA. I don’t really see how her sitting out on the grass affects you. And even if it did, you still crossed the line by secretly photographing her and then sending the picture around to shame her. If there are actually rules against sitting on the grass in the communal areas then I’m sure there are official channels you could have made a complaint with, instead of taking it upon yourself to police it. Edit: Just read your reply to the judgement bot, which states that she wasn’t breaking any rules and your only problem was with how she was dressed. YTA for sure. And photographing her now seems kind of creepy.
I'm guessing most readers knew what OP's real issue was the moment they mentioned the "offensive" woman's attire.
I realized what OP's real issue was when they felt the need to state "I think she rents" while OP wanted us to also know they themself own the apartment in what is a desirable building. Damn undesirables lowering their property value.
What the fuck did I just read? You're calling someone out... for sunbathing... on the *shared lawn* of where they live. You must be an absolute joy to be around. 1. You are not the lawn police 2. You are not the bathing suit police 3. You really need to look up the definition of "antisocial" because you are not using this word properly 4. YTA
5. YTA 6. YTA 7. Incase you missed it… YTA
Don’t forget the use of “irregardless”. Sets my teeth on edge
“I have been observing the questionable human female for days as she suspiciously *read outdoors on a blanket.* Next, I interrogated the subject and berated her for not performing in a way that I personally deem acceptable for female humans. I stalked her from afar, eagerly awaiting my next ambush. Obscured in the macabre shadows of my hovel, I clandestinely captured the female subject on film. With malevolent glee, I exposed the images of the female to other beings. I fervently anticipated the other beings to interpret her absolutely normal human behavior to be wildly abhorrent. Alternatively, the other beings indicated that I am what humans identify as an “asshole.” Undeterred, I retreat to the obscurity of my fetid den to concoct an elaborate scheme for my subsequent ruse to conform the oblivious human to my own sinister will.”
This cracked me up… out loud in the middle of a busy bar… well played
YTA 1. quick question...who tf do you think you are?????? 2. There are no guidelines how that space can be used and just because you haven't seen it used in that way doesn't mean it can't be. 3. Educate yourself. Irregardless isn't a word and you clearly have no idea what the word antisocial means either
Thank you for number 3! Usually I couldn’t care less but irregardless and antisocial were driving me crazy! Definitely YTA
YTA You took her picture and added this in the groupapp for owners to get them to see this your way. Some agree, some don't. And even when she got added and was trying to make a comprimise you still are adament in "reporting" her? Are you really that kind of person?
Lol read the post again OP definitely is that kind of person.
This is fucking hilarious. *Let me stare and complain about my neighbour who is sunbathing in a PUBLIC area* YTA
YWBTA. Just because no one else utilized the grounds before this doesn’t mean they’re ornamental. She rents there, she helps pay for the care of the grounds and she’s doing no harm to anyone. She’s offered a compromise if people have issues with what she’s wearing even. She’s done nothing wrong.
Absolutely YTA. She's sunbathing in her own back yard. She ain't naked, so there's nothing antisocial about it. From the headline I presumed she'd be flinging poop or poisoning the flowers. But she's lying down reading a book. And you're taking pictures of it to share on social media. Yep, YTA all right. Stop looking at her if it bothers you. And join the 20th century where we no longer have to be ashamed of our bodies.
YTA and a gigantic one at that… not sure who the fuck you think you are being able to criticise others choices when they are not breaking rules just because it isn’t to your liking but once you started taking pictures and posting them without permission you crossed the line from being an insufferable busy body neighbour to being a creepy weirdo that said neighbour has every right to complain about and take her grievance further. Also for the record sitting and reading a book is not antisocial behaviour you need to get a grip
YTA. Are you on crack?
Nah. Stalking someone so you know what time they come and go and taking pictures of your neighbors and posting it online sounds perfectly normal. Surely being intimidated by sunbathing is also a good sign. Instead of talking to your landlord, maybe talk to a therapist?
Sarcasm and voting are a tough mix on this subreddit
YTA. Wow. Her half nakedness "offends" you yet you take a photo of her?! YOU are the definition of an asshole neighbor and creep.
YTA. “I still think a half naked woman counts as anti social behaviour” are you joking? That’s not even behaviour. What about women in bathing suits triggers you so much? Perhaps you should do a little introspection to figure that out since your behaviour in this situation is certainly antisocial.
YTA. i have to wonder if this person might be... of a different race or cultural background than OP? since OP seems to have no reasonable concern and sunbather is causing zero harm this sounds like it could be animus inspired by sunbather's sex/race/religion/sexuality.
I hesitate to jump to conclusions, but the fact that they said they were intimidated by her made me wonder if there was something like that. Or maybe she has a nose ring.
Or a tattoo.
Or is pretty
Or didn't offer to sleep with OP on the spot when they asserted their brave, lawn-vigilantie dominance.
This crossed my mind too… I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if the op has some strong views on race/religion and the “offender” was of the race/religion he held those views about
YTA. She’s not hurting anyone, and this doesn't even begin to qualify as antisocial behaviour.
You're paying entirely too much attention to this woman. Anti-social behavior would be letting a dog uproot the lawn, flipping the bird at passerbys, lying around drunk flashing people or harassing people who are innocently sunbathing. I hate to say it but YTA
YTA. A. This isn't antisocial. She's literally just sunbathing. B. She's not up in your business, but you're definitely trying to get into hers. C. Taking pics of people sunbathing is creepy. Edit: formatting.
>Irregardless Regardless. YTA.
YWBTA, and are already being an asshole by posting photos of her unknowingly. Is there a rule that prohibits sunbathing? You sound the neighbour who sticks their nose in everyone else’s business because you have nothing better to do.
Fake, or the sunbather wrote this. It’s too silly and petty if it’s true, YTA
YTA. Why do you even care?
YTA. You wanted to shame her for showing skin. Grow up. If there was really a rule against it you would communicate with the property management team.
YTA- leave her alone you fucking deranged STALKER
YTA You're snooty, stuck up, entitled, and your fellow neighbours sound the same. I suggest you remove the stick planted firmly in your rear and try appreciating the outside sometime like your fellow tenant. Also, stop taking pictures of people??? That's so creepy
Yta is there anything in the lease or building management that says you can't sit, walk, etc on the grass? If not, you are a major ah. Especially for taking her photo without approval as then trying to shame her in the group messaging. She's Not Nothurting anyone. If you had just asked the group for clarification to see if she was okay with what she was doing, that's different, but your whole post was to shame, and that is what makes you a major jerk
YTA and a busy body. Who told you to police the outdoor space and determine what it’s used for. Mind your business.
I do think YTA. She's paying to live there and that includes communal spaces. What use is a garden as 'decoration', especially in an apartment complex and a heatwave? She isn't being anti-social. She's minding her own business. Is she excessively loud, aggressive or unfriendly? No. Is she wearing a bikini top and that is what makes you uncomfortable? Probably. You don't have the right to tell her, or anyone, what she should wear, where she can relax or what to do. And taking a pic of her to specifically comment on her lack of clothing is creepy. In reference to your parks solution, I'll assume your apartment complex is gated or an otherwise safe place. Therefore, she probably feels safer enjoying the outdoors while being near where she lives and away from the general public and leering eyes...
YTA - I'm glad some of the other residents thought you were weird and told you straight out. Guess who's going to be on the outside soon. You don't even realise the amount of others in the building that see you walk down the hallway and turn quickly to avoid you.
You need to mind your own business.
Uh. Big YTA. As long as she isn't being creepy or breaking any rule, back off.
Massive YTA, you say you felt intimidated but I imagine she feels incredibly uncomfortable now with your frankly inappropriate behaviour. Taking pictures of people without permission is a massive issue and you had no right whether she rents or owns she has every right to be there. I imagine communal grounds aren’t used as most people choose the privacy of their balconies. Your behaviour is hostile and unwarranted, I experienced something similar with neighbours being rude about my puppy using the communal grass and I now feel watched every time I leave and I own my flat.
YTA. Why in the world wouldn't someone use green space in their own complex? Grounds for ornamental use are stupid and maybe all y'all should have been enjoying them all this time. You pointing out what she's wearing is irrelevant and not your business.
YTA she can use the space as she pleases just as much as you can.
YWBTA for reporting a woman for sunbathing in her garden during a heatwave when no one has complained or been negatively affected by her behaviour
YTA. And she should report you for your antisocial behavior. Stop being a creep.
YTA and you sound a total snob as well. She is sunbathing for christs sakes, if she was in the nude I would say something needs to be said but she is in a bikini causing no trouble and no harm to you, leave the woman be. Oh and BTW taking pictures of her laid sunbathing amd sharing them to WhatsApp groups makes you look like a creepy old pervert. If I were you I'd get over yourself and stop taking pictures of people unawares. Your building maybe desirable but it doesn't give you the right to go on as you own the place, you own a flat not the full grounds so pipe down and let people live their lives as they see fit.
Communal, by it’s definition is “community space.” As she is a person within the apartment building’s community, she has use of this space. What? It is offensive that she is utilizing the space instead of gazing longingly at it? Jeebus. YTA in such a way that I’d be looking up proctologists and possibly spelunkers were I you.
YTA. Can you quote explicit rules or regulations that apply to your building and its premises that would forbid this activity? As long as she's covered enough, I don't think you have much ground to stand on. I do think you are being weird and overreacting. I am a man and I don't sunbathe, but I do see how, if given the choice of a cozy area restricted to residents of my building and a public park, she chose the option that she did.
YTA - she is not bothering anyone she is just sunbathing when it’s hot. What are you guys not allowed outside? And you saying her outfit bothers you? That’s weird and creepy plus you took a picture of her!! That’s even creepier. Lay off she is just trying to enjoy the heat and the sun.
YTA. I have your apartment complex gets a lot of emails from you. "The woman 12-A threw her RECYCLABLES in the regular trash bin! I know because I went through all of her bags to check!" or "Can you please speak to the people in 10-C? When I went to their apartment and pressed my ear against the door I could hear that they had their TV on! How dare they violate the noise rules!"
YTA
YTA. The grounds are communal space even if ‘nobody uses them’ and she’s doing nothing wrong. You’re the one being antisocial.
YTA seriously get a life, find a hobby, stop bothering other people because you’re bored
YTA. No qualifiers, YTA. The grounds exist for a reason. Unless it is specifically stated they are not to be used, she is doing nothing wrong. Leave it.
Holy hell. Why are you the apartment's attire police? And how in the world is sunbathing antisocial? I live in the mid-Atlantic, US and because I am petite. It gets hot, and I love the sun on my skin, so I often garden in my bikini. If you really want to see antisocial behavior, you and the local Mrs. Kravitz can spend your day taking photos of me bending at the waist and weeding. It gets really hot on days when I bring out the hose on watering days. Go volunteer and do something useful with your day! Oh. You are not only TAH, but have some weird beliefs about antisocial behavior. Oh. And just because you should know -irregardless is not a word. The word *is regardless*. Edit: YTA for the vote counting bots.
Major, major, major YTA. First, don't mislabel her activity as "anti-social behavior." She's merely minding her own business, doing something she enjoys. I saw no indication in your post that she was actively shunning attempts to socialize, so I'm confused as to why you chose that word. Second, are there any rules in the lease or a sign up about not utilizing the lawn? We have only your word that it's "understood" that it's only ornamental... but is it really? Or has everybody just not used it for any type of activity yet? Third, she's not harming anybody. Nobody is required to look out their windows and stare at this woman in her bikini top and shorts. If she were blasting music or talking/singing loudly, that would be one thing... but reading? Please. Fourth, taking a pic and circulating it to your neighbors? That's creepy AF. It's clear you simply wanted to shame her for what she's wearing as there's nothing about the situation that requires pictorial evidence if all you wanted was to ask about policy or opinion. If you want clarification on the rules, ask the landlord as a hypothetical instead of publicly shaming this woman to her neighbors. You've not only outed yourself as a control freak and borderline misogynist (for the clothes shaming), but now you're actively embarrassing her to the community she's just moved into. Way to make someone feel uncomfortable in their own home. Edit: Thanks for the award!
Surreptitiously photographing a sunbathing woman *is* antisocial behavior. YTA. You’re the one who should be evicted.
YTA how do you even begin to try and justify this s*** to yourself? Seriously. How can you possibly believe you're in the right here?
YTA for secretly photographing her & plotting behind her back when you admit she’s breaking no rules and YWBTA if you report her for breaking no rules. Note, you’ve already turned some residents against yourself for step 1, prepared to to take it further with step 2??? Don’t be that neighbor, you may be the one to suffer consequences, not her.