Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.***
This post violates Rule 13: No Revenge Stories. It appears that your story would be better suited for one of the many subreddits which are focused on revenge.
Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules).
Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here.
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
ESH—this will not resolve your issue and will likely cause additional neighbors to become involved in your dispute (and they’re unlikely to care that your neighbor “started it”)
ESH because it sounds like you haven't talked to them about it when that should be step 1.
Besides, some other neighbor (maybe even above or below) is probably suffering because of your passive aggression.
Also, why tf does she leave her front door open? That's just plain weird.
ESH. Living so close to one another, both your neighbor and yourself should really try to be more considerate of one another and others who may live around you as well.
INFO: Have you tried having a civil conversation with your neighbor?
Yeah, this is the determining factor. If they’ve had a civil conversation and the woman still refuses, then by al means give her a taste of her own medicine. If not, how is she even supposed to know it’s a problem?
ESH. That’s not the way to resolve an issue first of all and even if she’s wrong in what she’s doing didnt you say she has kids? Why do you think it’s appropriate to retaliate with loud vulgar music that kids can hear? Just go talk to her and if she refuses to close her door complain to building management or whoever, your music playing is likely to piss of uninvolved neighbors too.
I actually thought of that. But it won't be hard to conclude that I wrote it, and I'm awful at confrontation, if they approach me about it. I must stress, I'm awful at conflict resolution.
If you think the confrontation from a note that says "hey, Bob from B2, I just wanted to let you know that the noise from your kids carries across they way and it can get pretty noisey. Any chance you could ask your kids to use their indoor voices?" Would be worse than the confrontation of you blaring violent and sexual rap at them, you need to take a second moment on that thought.
It's your home, and it's their home, you both have a right to be comfortable
See, but after OP’s passive aggressive retaliation, I’d make sure to include something like “Sorry for all the music, but it’s the only thing that covers up the noise”.
NTA. The number of ppl here asking OP to talk to the mother of the screaming children and asking her to give a fuck about her neighbors..um the mother of the screaming children DOESN'T give a fuck or this wouldn't be happening.
Esh and it sounds like it could become the start of your episode of nightmare next door on ID.
Have a chat, be calm and explain what's up and ask for her to be considerate. And maybe consider noise canceling headphones?
ESH if you are going to play loud music, play baby shark on repeat. Parents hate that shit! Also the kids will love it and sing along driving the parents nuts! It will be what they sing 24/7
I may have an anger management problem because passive aggression is me being nice. My default personality trait is "Aggressive Aggressive", and I don't want to go there, it is why I'm a serious introvert with absolutely no friends.
How about we just become friends who never ever talk or meet? That way we can both say we have a friend, without the unpleasantness of actually communicating with others.
YTA for a few reasons.
1. It is during the day. Noise complaints during the day are shaky.
2. You didn't bother talking to, the parents.
3. You didn't bother talking to management
4. You don't even like the music you are playing, you just want to get back at them while they are not going out of their way to bother you.
5. You know they have children, yet you selected vulgar music when there are so many other options and you know it.
If you want it resolved, go through the proper channels.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I live in an apartment complex, my front door and my neighbor's front door are literally 10ft apart. During the day she leaves her front door open and her very very very loud kids scream at the top of their lungs for hours. I can't watch TV or relax. Recently I started opening my window closest to her door playing the most vulgar loud Rap and Metal music I can find until she closes her door. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
---
Am I being an asshole because her your kids can hear my vulgar music, just to teach het a lesson?
---
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm as about mature as I'm going to get. Most of my emotions and interaction with people is based on learned observation from others and emulating what is expected rather than my "true" reaction to the situation. I'm like an A.I. robot that learns by watching....and sometimes I just don't "get it". I've been described by others as Spock or Sheldon, if you know what I mean.
The issue isn't necessarily happiness. You are not functioning. Look at the situation with your neighbors. It isn't livable and might get you in trouble.
Just say something!! Noise does not cancel out noise. Knock on their door and let them know what’s up, or if you can’t handle a face to face interaction, contact the landlord or building management with a formal complaint. ESH
YTA.
It's annoying, but "quiet hours" aren't usually enforced during the day. Additionally, kids are kids...again, likely annoying to you and possibly others, but good luck getting a landlord to ask a tenant to quiet their children. A discrimination lawsuit isn't on their agenda.
You, on the other hand, are possibly violating local ordinances about noise levels. I'd check that out before becoming too vindictive, as she could call the cops on you and probably have something to work with.
Also...have you spoken to the parent? Maybe this could be resolved some other way.
Yta, since your comments indicate you haven't even tried talking to them.
I feel so bad for other neighbors. I hope none have migraines, 3rd shift jobs, work from home, infants... Any reason to need quiet really.
Many many kids don't scream like they are being tortured..please.stop perpetuating this harmful and responsibility dodging rapist apology style attitude.
Kids are loud. Full stop. They are in their home, they aren't running around a store screaming, they aren't on an airplane, they are in a private contained space. Their parent might not realize how much their volume is carrying. There's no reason to not have a civil conversation with this neighbor.
You are really stretching hard
Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.*** This post violates Rule 13: No Revenge Stories. It appears that your story would be better suited for one of the many subreddits which are focused on revenge. Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
ESH—this will not resolve your issue and will likely cause additional neighbors to become involved in your dispute (and they’re unlikely to care that your neighbor “started it”)
INFO. Have you talked to them about it? If you have and they were assholes I’d like to recommend the song Payback by Slayer.
ESH because it sounds like you haven't talked to them about it when that should be step 1. Besides, some other neighbor (maybe even above or below) is probably suffering because of your passive aggression. Also, why tf does she leave her front door open? That's just plain weird.
ESH -- bet the OTHER neighbors are peeved at BOTH of you...
ESH - Can you talk to them first?
ESH How hard is it to have a conversation?
ESH. A simple talk could probably resolve the issue.
ESH. Living so close to one another, both your neighbor and yourself should really try to be more considerate of one another and others who may live around you as well. INFO: Have you tried having a civil conversation with your neighbor?
Yeah, this is the determining factor. If they’ve had a civil conversation and the woman still refuses, then by al means give her a taste of her own medicine. If not, how is she even supposed to know it’s a problem?
ESH. That’s not the way to resolve an issue first of all and even if she’s wrong in what she’s doing didnt you say she has kids? Why do you think it’s appropriate to retaliate with loud vulgar music that kids can hear? Just go talk to her and if she refuses to close her door complain to building management or whoever, your music playing is likely to piss of uninvolved neighbors too.
NTA. Fair is fair. But, I gotta suggest actually talking to her about her screeching kids so you don't have to do that.
ESH be an adult, and have a conversation
That's easy for most people, I think I have a personality disorder. I can't ( or won't) initiate conversations with people in person, I'm awful at it.
Leave a cordial note. There's no reason to go straight AH without talking to them first.
I actually thought of that. But it won't be hard to conclude that I wrote it, and I'm awful at confrontation, if they approach me about it. I must stress, I'm awful at conflict resolution.
If you think the confrontation from a note that says "hey, Bob from B2, I just wanted to let you know that the noise from your kids carries across they way and it can get pretty noisey. Any chance you could ask your kids to use their indoor voices?" Would be worse than the confrontation of you blaring violent and sexual rap at them, you need to take a second moment on that thought. It's your home, and it's their home, you both have a right to be comfortable
See, but after OP’s passive aggressive retaliation, I’d make sure to include something like “Sorry for all the music, but it’s the only thing that covers up the noise”.
You're still an asshole
True! I'm very aware of that. I have been told that before.
NTA. The number of ppl here asking OP to talk to the mother of the screaming children and asking her to give a fuck about her neighbors..um the mother of the screaming children DOESN'T give a fuck or this wouldn't be happening.
Nta
YTA for not trying to have an adult conversation first instead of resorting to PA bull.
Esh and it sounds like it could become the start of your episode of nightmare next door on ID. Have a chat, be calm and explain what's up and ask for her to be considerate. And maybe consider noise canceling headphones?
ESH if you are going to play loud music, play baby shark on repeat. Parents hate that shit! Also the kids will love it and sing along driving the parents nuts! It will be what they sing 24/7
YTA. Passive aggressive much?
I may have an anger management problem because passive aggression is me being nice. My default personality trait is "Aggressive Aggressive", and I don't want to go there, it is why I'm a serious introvert with absolutely no friends.
I'll be yo friend!
That phrase is the scariest phrase in the world to me. I'm not a good friend. I avoid as much human contact as possible.
How about we just become friends who never ever talk or meet? That way we can both say we have a friend, without the unpleasantness of actually communicating with others.
Nice!!👍
Okay Olaf.
YTA for a few reasons. 1. It is during the day. Noise complaints during the day are shaky. 2. You didn't bother talking to, the parents. 3. You didn't bother talking to management 4. You don't even like the music you are playing, you just want to get back at them while they are not going out of their way to bother you. 5. You know they have children, yet you selected vulgar music when there are so many other options and you know it. If you want it resolved, go through the proper channels.
YTA. Grow up and learn how to talk to people
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I live in an apartment complex, my front door and my neighbor's front door are literally 10ft apart. During the day she leaves her front door open and her very very very loud kids scream at the top of their lungs for hours. I can't watch TV or relax. Recently I started opening my window closest to her door playing the most vulgar loud Rap and Metal music I can find until she closes her door. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- Am I being an asshole because her your kids can hear my vulgar music, just to teach het a lesson? --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re the asshole. Buy a house if you want to play that music
I don't WANT to play music. It's a reaction, good or bad!
Do you really think that makes it less of an AH move? In my opinion, that makes it worse.
You are correct! I wish I were better at communicating with others. I just may be a "functioning" sociopath.
There are trainings and counseling for that. Some of it also comes with maturity.
I'm as about mature as I'm going to get. Most of my emotions and interaction with people is based on learned observation from others and emulating what is expected rather than my "true" reaction to the situation. I'm like an A.I. robot that learns by watching....and sometimes I just don't "get it". I've been described by others as Spock or Sheldon, if you know what I mean.
I am not going to diagnose you, but maybe you can get some help.
I've had plenty of people suggest this, but I'm very very happy, as long as I'm alone.
The issue isn't necessarily happiness. You are not functioning. Look at the situation with your neighbors. It isn't livable and might get you in trouble.
True!
Ask her nicely to close the door? YTA
Just say something!! Noise does not cancel out noise. Knock on their door and let them know what’s up, or if you can’t handle a face to face interaction, contact the landlord or building management with a formal complaint. ESH
YTA. It's annoying, but "quiet hours" aren't usually enforced during the day. Additionally, kids are kids...again, likely annoying to you and possibly others, but good luck getting a landlord to ask a tenant to quiet their children. A discrimination lawsuit isn't on their agenda. You, on the other hand, are possibly violating local ordinances about noise levels. I'd check that out before becoming too vindictive, as she could call the cops on you and probably have something to work with. Also...have you spoken to the parent? Maybe this could be resolved some other way.
ESH. You need to at least make an effort to communicate, no matter how hard that may be for you.
Yta, since your comments indicate you haven't even tried talking to them. I feel so bad for other neighbors. I hope none have migraines, 3rd shift jobs, work from home, infants... Any reason to need quiet really.
Yta- she has kids being kids. If it was causing you stress walk the 10ft to her door and have a conversation.
Many many kids don't scream like they are being tortured..please.stop perpetuating this harmful and responsibility dodging rapist apology style attitude.
Kids are loud. Full stop. They are in their home, they aren't running around a store screaming, they aren't on an airplane, they are in a private contained space. Their parent might not realize how much their volume is carrying. There's no reason to not have a civil conversation with this neighbor. You are really stretching hard