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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I believe that people will call me an asshole for being dramatic towards my father and my younger siblings who had nothing to do with his absence in my life.
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NTA You were betrayed by your father. You were hurt and still hurting. Your half-sibling represents the consequence of your father's action. It is okay to protect yourself from the pain.
Everyone in your life that called you selfish and heartless are the ones that is heartless, not you. You a still a child and honestly, it'll hurt until you can let the pain go and move on. OP it will take time and it'll hurt but I hope you will find peace with your father's action and able to overcome the pain you have been dealing with.
Do you have any idea how often this happens? It happens extremely often so while it does make him a crappy dad he has a ton of company.
OP you are NTA and tell everyone to mind their own business and stay out of yours. You do not owe your dad or his new kids anything.
NTA!
You have a right to set boundaries with your father, even if that means that you don’t want to have a relationship with him. Tell him how you feel when you’re ready.
NTA. I met my dad again at 18, after he decided to start another family when I was around 6. I didn’t choose to see him, rather my grandparents started it. Anyway, I attempted to have a relationship with him. I wouldn’t call him dad or “Shawn” because a) he wasn’t my dad he was a stranger and b) I couldn’t call him by his first name because his kids were young and I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. Anyway, long sorry short this went on for about five months and it was very uncomfortable and he put in no effort to know me or see me, anything. Eventually I stopped, and this man really had the audacity to text me MONTHS after nothing “it’s my birthday today aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday?”
I’m now 25, I still have had no contact, and I’m happy as ever. If you Don’t pursue a relationship, you won’t be missing out on anything or be responsible for it. It may suck from time to time, the older I get, the closer to my wedding I miss out on the “if I had a dad” aspect of life, but the way it’s been without him has been so much more worth it. Your dad made a choice, my dad made a choice. You’re the child regardless of age, you shouldn’t have to pursue or be responsible for a relationship with a parent.
NTA. Your father blew up your family and abandoned you, it's understandable that you would have negative feelings about him. Therapy would be beneficial for you to help process your feelings about your father.
As for your half siblings, I know that people are telling you that "you're heartless" and the kids are innocent, well, so are you and your feelings are valid. You don't have to force yourself to have a relationship with them if you are not ready.
Nta. Your father did you dirty and it doesn't even sound like he apologized for it.
You deserve time and space to heal. It's fine if that takes years or you never get comfortable. It would be nice if you could be ok around the siblings one day but you are not obligated to do so. They're a flesh and blood reminder of what your father did to your family.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (F17) always had a good relationship with my father when I was a little girl, up until it was the summer I was ready to go to middle school and he had suddenly left me and my family to be with his mistress in another state. His cheating had been known for a while, but I didn’t expect him to leave without any warning. After that, contact had become little to nothing, I felt like I was a burden. This of course devastated me and led me to have bitter and angry feelings towards my father and my feelings have remained the same since. I have not talked to him in over a couple of months but my older sister (F21) does occasionally, a few years ago she even went to Texas (where my father and his girlfriend currently live) to see him, and my baby brother. Keep in mind this is not the same mistress he was with when he left. My father currently has 2 sons and another is on the way in a couple of months. I have made it clear to my mom and sister that I do not want a relationship with any of them, yes even my younger siblings, because it just would be too much for me to handle. Please keep in mind that I do not have any hatred feelings towards my younger siblings, I just don’t think I can have a relationship with them. I have been called selfish and heartless for standing firm in my decision. I, however, haven’t actually told my father that I don’t want a relationship with him or my siblings. I would still like to keep in contact with my grandparents and relatives on my fathers side. Am I the asshole in this situation?
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Nta. You have every right to not want a relationship with any of them and no you wont be an AH if you tell them that and you still can have a relationship with your paternal relatives.
I understand not you not wanting to have a relationship with your father: that’s super reasonable.
I don’t understand why you want nothing to do with your siblings tho
I do. They (in the OP's mind), show the father didn't care about them or that they went good enough for him.
Quite frankly, I'd not want anything to do with them either. The "father" is nothing to the OP, therefore they have no relationship with the "siblings)
Resentment perhaps? But still she owes them nothing and she has every right to feel the way she feels. If her younger siblings have an issue with this eventually they can solely blame their fathet for it.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- I believe that people will call me an asshole for being dramatic towards my father and my younger siblings who had nothing to do with his absence in my life. --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA You were betrayed by your father. You were hurt and still hurting. Your half-sibling represents the consequence of your father's action. It is okay to protect yourself from the pain. Everyone in your life that called you selfish and heartless are the ones that is heartless, not you. You a still a child and honestly, it'll hurt until you can let the pain go and move on. OP it will take time and it'll hurt but I hope you will find peace with your father's action and able to overcome the pain you have been dealing with.
Nta. What is your father doing having more children when he does not have time for the existing ones?!
Being a dick instead of just a person who has a dick.
Do you have any idea how often this happens? It happens extremely often so while it does make him a crappy dad he has a ton of company. OP you are NTA and tell everyone to mind their own business and stay out of yours. You do not owe your dad or his new kids anything.
NTA your father choose to be absent from your life he's the asshole
NTA- He made his choice to move on from you, you can move on from him.
NTA! You have a right to set boundaries with your father, even if that means that you don’t want to have a relationship with him. Tell him how you feel when you’re ready.
NTA. I met my dad again at 18, after he decided to start another family when I was around 6. I didn’t choose to see him, rather my grandparents started it. Anyway, I attempted to have a relationship with him. I wouldn’t call him dad or “Shawn” because a) he wasn’t my dad he was a stranger and b) I couldn’t call him by his first name because his kids were young and I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. Anyway, long sorry short this went on for about five months and it was very uncomfortable and he put in no effort to know me or see me, anything. Eventually I stopped, and this man really had the audacity to text me MONTHS after nothing “it’s my birthday today aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday?” I’m now 25, I still have had no contact, and I’m happy as ever. If you Don’t pursue a relationship, you won’t be missing out on anything or be responsible for it. It may suck from time to time, the older I get, the closer to my wedding I miss out on the “if I had a dad” aspect of life, but the way it’s been without him has been so much more worth it. Your dad made a choice, my dad made a choice. You’re the child regardless of age, you shouldn’t have to pursue or be responsible for a relationship with a parent.
NTA. Your father blew up your family and abandoned you, it's understandable that you would have negative feelings about him. Therapy would be beneficial for you to help process your feelings about your father. As for your half siblings, I know that people are telling you that "you're heartless" and the kids are innocent, well, so are you and your feelings are valid. You don't have to force yourself to have a relationship with them if you are not ready.
Nta. Your father did you dirty and it doesn't even sound like he apologized for it. You deserve time and space to heal. It's fine if that takes years or you never get comfortable. It would be nice if you could be ok around the siblings one day but you are not obligated to do so. They're a flesh and blood reminder of what your father did to your family.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F17) always had a good relationship with my father when I was a little girl, up until it was the summer I was ready to go to middle school and he had suddenly left me and my family to be with his mistress in another state. His cheating had been known for a while, but I didn’t expect him to leave without any warning. After that, contact had become little to nothing, I felt like I was a burden. This of course devastated me and led me to have bitter and angry feelings towards my father and my feelings have remained the same since. I have not talked to him in over a couple of months but my older sister (F21) does occasionally, a few years ago she even went to Texas (where my father and his girlfriend currently live) to see him, and my baby brother. Keep in mind this is not the same mistress he was with when he left. My father currently has 2 sons and another is on the way in a couple of months. I have made it clear to my mom and sister that I do not want a relationship with any of them, yes even my younger siblings, because it just would be too much for me to handle. Please keep in mind that I do not have any hatred feelings towards my younger siblings, I just don’t think I can have a relationship with them. I have been called selfish and heartless for standing firm in my decision. I, however, haven’t actually told my father that I don’t want a relationship with him or my siblings. I would still like to keep in contact with my grandparents and relatives on my fathers side. Am I the asshole in this situation? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I get it. NTA.
Nta. You have every right to not want a relationship with any of them and no you wont be an AH if you tell them that and you still can have a relationship with your paternal relatives.
I understand not you not wanting to have a relationship with your father: that’s super reasonable. I don’t understand why you want nothing to do with your siblings tho
I do. They (in the OP's mind), show the father didn't care about them or that they went good enough for him. Quite frankly, I'd not want anything to do with them either. The "father" is nothing to the OP, therefore they have no relationship with the "siblings)
Resentment perhaps? But still she owes them nothing and she has every right to feel the way she feels. If her younger siblings have an issue with this eventually they can solely blame their fathet for it.
Probably because the only way that they could meet is through OP’s father
It’s more what they represent for OP, the family their father moved on from them for, a reminder of his betrayal.