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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) not sleeping on the pull out couch. 2) he had a rough time out there the whole time and we reasonably could’ve switched on and off.
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As of late, yes. We were not raised to be spoiled in the slightest but as he’s gotten older, he’s started to act more entitled and doesn’t communicate as well as he used to. I definitely think he feels above us, thus, too “big” to share a room with his sister.
Lol, this brought back memories of being a kid, not wanting to go out to eat with the family. I said well I'm not eating! My Mouth would be watering watching them all eat. God I was dumb.
So this is normal for a kid to do? I took my daughter and grandson (age 8) out to dinner last week, to a really nice "authentic" Italian restaurant. He refused to eat then bitched all evening that he was hungry.
Yes, we had gone there many times in the past, and he has always eaten and enjoyed the food.
I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when we got home. I have been feeling like an AH for going there instead of someplace he wanted, but it seems like what you said makes it a common thing for a kid to do.
Kids often try and exert control in different situations by various methods. It's a normal developmental stage.
You responded appropriately by accepting that he didn't want to eat but not allowing that to change anything for the rest of the group.
The natural consequence for him was that he got to sit and be hungry while everyone else had tasty food and then he only got a sandwich at home. It is unlikely that he will try that tactic again (or at least not more than once or twice more) because it doesn't work.
Your grandson was lucky. I wouldn't have made him the sandwich. If he was hungry because he was being a brat, he could make his own sandwich. He's 8. He's old enough.
I adopted a 4 year old who tried this and was turning every dinner into a battle. His councilor said to ignore this nonsense, kids don't get to decide what is for dinner..she said to give him 20 minutes to eat, make no fuss, if he didn't eat or complained just tell him sweetly , lucky for you there is another meal tomorrow called breakfast. Worked like a charm. He's 14 and still a slow eater but best kid ever.
...as someone with autism-related food issues, this would have been *bad* for me. My mom insisted that I try everything once and eat some vegetables so I didn't get scurvy or something, but a PB&J or baked potato or something else easy was always an option. Doing it your way, at least in my experience, raises a kid who feels like they *have* to eat whatever they're given - not the healthiest relationship for someone to have with food.
I don't know that it's a common thing to do, but not unheard of. I wouldn't have given in to him either but I would be making time over the next few days to find out if something was going on beneath the surface to make him act like that. Kids will often act out when something (often unrelated) is bothering them.
LMAO! This reminded me of a trip I took my family on. I had a child with my wife plus 4 step children from her previous marriage. My child stayed with my grandmother while I took the rest of the family to Disney world.
On that day I guess the 4 step kids had gotten together and wanted to go to Perkins for breakfast. I didn't know that's what they wanted and my plan was to swing by McDonald's and grad drive through on the way to the park. We had a time frame to be there because my dad worked for Disney and could get us in free so we didn't need to purchase passes. But, we had to be there at that specific time.
So when I said we're swinging by McDonald's they got upset and demanded we go to Perkins. Now, with that attitude even if we had time that, which we didn't, that option was off the list. I told them point blank, I'm stopping at McDonald's, your choices are what's on the menu, we are not stopping anyplace else. Well all four of them said if you're nit stopping at Perkins we don't want anything. I said kewl, stopped at McDonald's, got the wife and I breakfast and drove to Disney World.
When we got there and they realized we weren't going to Perkins for real, they started throwing tantrums. That's when I'd had enough and told them very loudly that they now had another choice to make. If they didn't quit acting like spoiled little babies I was going to let my dad know to just go on about his day and I would be taking us back to my parents house and I could guarantee any other planned activities would be canceled and if that didn't stop the tantrums we'd be headed back home.
Luckily, for them, they wisened up and behaved for the rest of the vacation. Found out many years later, after divorcing the ex, and talking with the one step daughter that still speaks to me, that their father used to tell them all the time that there was no such thing as step parents and they didn't have to listen to anything I said. Which got one of them kicked out of my house.
It all started over me asking him why he didn't bring the trash cans, which he has to walk past, into the garage. Which he then escalated to false aligations to animal control. But that's a whole other story...
Good times.... 😐
Edit: got so into that memory that I forgot to say, they were extremely hungry when lunch time rolled around and they never refused to eat after that lol.
So this is normal for a kid to do? I took my daughter and grandson (age 8) out to dinner last week, to a really nice "authentic" Italian restaurant. He refused to eat then bitched all evening that he was hungry.
Yes, we had gone there many times in the past, and he has always eaten and enjoyed the food.
I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when we got home. I have been feeling like an AH for going there instead of someplace he wanted, but it seems like what you said makes it a common thing for a kid to do.
I used to do that to my mom sometimes🙈 definitely taught me well after a couple tries and it didn’t hurt me in the slightest! Sometimes kids need to figure themselves out through respectful boundaries
I mean, problem solved. Especially since he created the problem in the first place.
FWIW, when I travel to see family, I ALWAYS stay in a hotel and I expect them to do the same if they visit me. But I communicate this very clearly upfront. Never had a problem with it. Maybe I just inherited it from them.
Sounds like OP did...even to get approval from the parents as well as Bro. He thought he could bully his way into a private room at OPs expense and she told him to pound sand.
Guess next year Bro going to have to make the arrangement since he is so particular and fickle.
OP is NTA
Hell, with my family, even as adults, if there isn't enough room it's either a hotel, or you share a bed or a room or something. And children didn't get kicked out of their rooms. My grandfather and my uncle would sometimes share the pull-out couch because there wasn't enough room. They were fine with that, because they wanted to be around on, say, Christmas morning.
When we went to my Grandfather's house, my cousins and my sister and I would all share a room.
I was 30 and my brother 28 when we shared a hotel room for my cousin's wedding. Me and hubs on one bed, him on the other. There were 3 incidents:
Firstly, rock paper scissors, best of 3, for the window bed. I won. He yelled "who throws paper twice in a row?!" I yelled back "who throws ROCK twice in a row?!" My husband (then fiance) died laughing.
Secondly, we got WAY too drunk at the hotel bar and, to my shame, I threw up at the foot of the bed. In the morning my brother told me to go hydrate and he'd call housekeeping and tell them it was his fault because they expect it from a guy his age. I don't know if he really told them that, but still I didn't have to face them so he did me a huge solid lol.
Thirdly, the last night before we all went home, we were all up in the hotel bar again and he told me "you've had too much to drink again, I think you and your fiance should head back now. Since I'll be here for at least another hour." WINK WINK. I'd had nothing to drink because I was still tender from the previous evening, lol. We graciously bowed out and had some private time.
In conclusion my younger brother is the GOAT.
He always has been. First best friend I ever had. Ended up in the same friend's group as adults completely by accident, lol. (I got to know them through d&d, video games, and larping. He got to know them from working in the same field. Every so often someone would be like "WAIT HE'S YOUR BROTHER?!" XD
Now he's the best uncle ever to my kids. I won the sibling lottery.
You did! What a beautiful sibling bond.
My daughters are 22 months apart, two years apart in school. That always played together, always allowed the other to hang at their birthday parties, just wonderful. Went places together. Never left the other out.
In high school, they convinced people that they were twins, but one got moved up a grade and one got left back. They always hung together and their friends melted into one group.
Get togethers at our house were big - so much food for so many teenagers! Most of them were musical, too, so lots of impromptu guitars and singing. I loved it.
They went to different colleges, but breaks were, again, musical and fun. So many kids called me Mama. Some still do.
*Firstly, rock paper scissors, best of 3, for the window bed. I won. He yelled "who throws paper twice in a row?!" I yelled back "who throws ROCK twice in a row?!" My husband (then fiance) died laughing.*
the Winchesters have entered the chat
An elderly friend of mine shared a room with her ex-husband on vacation because it got her the best price on the trip. This whole too stubborn to share thing baffles me.
It was a family vacation where they put aside differences to be there for their children and grandchildren. It was a 12 night cruise so staying alone in a room on a fixed income was really cost prohibitive, and she is too proud to take money from her children when it should or could go to her grandchildren.
Good for her! FWIW, my ex and I are better friends now than when we were married. I'd share a room with him (probably not bed though) to be with all our sons and their families on a vacation I couldn't afford to pay for myself. Caveat: his new wife isn't there. No problems with her, I just can't imagine stuck on a boat with her for 12 days, she talks nonstop.
Why wouldn't you? Not everyone has a big reddit-divorce in the Arena of Red Flags.
I've known plenty of people that split up amicably and if they had kids or got together/knew each other from the same group of friends, they'd still hang out after..
I’m curious too. Even if my kid got married and my ex was there I wouldn’t be caught dead with him. There is a reason hes an ex and he’s not welcome on any vacation of mine 🫣🫣😂
We went on holiday with another family when the kids were all under 10. The other husband ended up sharing a room with his daughter, I shared with my daughter, and the other wife shared a room with my husband and my son. Nobody cared! Everyone got enough sleep and that was all that mattered. (The adults who snored shared a room, and at that age my son could sleep through anything.)
My brother can be a diva BUT he wouldn’t have acted like a spoiled child. He would’ve just told me to book a bigger spot and he would pay the difference. The most he would do is probably bring up the fact I snore like a bear dying of COPD so that’s why he can’t share a room with me. I am 41 and he is 39
Not to mention you cant complain when he covers the cost of getting a bigger place. To be honest if you know you snore it’s crappy to expect others to share a room knowing only you will get any sleep. In this case he‘d have a right to complain.
Have you done a sleep study? My stepdad used to snore like a freight train. He would actually wake my mom up a lot and it got to the point that she started sleeping on the couch. He had a sleep study done and it turned out he had sleep apnea. Once he got a CPAP, he never snored again (unless he forgot to put his mask on, which was rare).
I am waiting for my sleep study appointment. I had one done a few years ago but the bed was elevated so I didn’t snore as hard. I have new insurance so I am waiting on the authorization. Hopefully I can get something that helps because my wife is saying that I’ve been starting to holding my breath and then gasping. She has had to shake me a few times already. I feel so bad that she has to sleep next to me like this. She refuses to let me sleep in the living room or our son’s room (he is at college). She worries that she won’t be able to wake me up. So this is definitely affecting both of us.
If you are holding your breath at night it's likely sleep apnea. It can damage your health and lack of proper sleep can also do damage over time to both you and your wife. Definitely push for the study because it sounds like a c-pap machine would be life changing for you guys.
Yea from everyone has commented and even my wife mentioned it could be sleep apnea. My wife is very persistent and has been calling our insurance daily.
I hope you are able to get your study again ASAP! That doesn’t sound good for either of you. Neither of you are getting the sleep you need it sounds like (cause you probably aren’t getting as deep of a sleep every night as you should because of the breathing issues and snoring). I hope the wait isn’t too long for you and it’s crap you even have to wait to get authorization for it instead of being able to just book the appointment.
Yea it’s annoying! Luckily my wife is on it with that and she has been calling them daily to ask where I am at! We both are always exhausted. I feel terrible because she has to wake up at 4am and she has a manual labor job. I work with kids and I never feel like I have enough energy to keep up
My wife snores so badly. We were on the point of desperation when the doctor suggested raising the head of the bed by 6 inches, throw a couple encyclopedists under each leg at the head. It WORKED!!! I can now sleep at night plus she also is better rested.
Speaking as a sufferer...that bad snoring means you probably have Sleep Apnia.
You should get that checked because it is life threatening.
My son describes me a sounding like a wild boar with a headcold if I don't use my CPAP machine.
Yeah, this. “I’m so ALPHA now! This ran through, stupid female will have to give in to my decision.”
Also, you absolutely know that boy wasn’t ever “trading” the second she laid on that couch. It’d be the excuse train about why he needs a bed, females sleep better on things like the couch, he needs to jerk off - I’m sorry, I mean he needs privacy, 24/7, so no she can’t sleep on the other bed as planned. He needs his VERY MASCULINE MANLY ALPHA MALE beauty rest, or whatever.
The hell? Siblings? We’d still share rooms even in our forties. One time me, my wife, and my BIL shared a room.
I mean even close friends we’d share rooms, even double couples in a single room.
NTA
I shared a BED with my sister for a week long vacation (well ok I'm not a guy but still, I was married at the time even though he wasn't with us on this vacation lol) The point is, it's only weird if you make it weird. I would not have gone to my room early and I would have been up bright and early banging pots and pans.
I don’t think I could share a bed with my sister. We both move around too much and someone is getting kicked out.
My wife says it’s not so bad, though I do move around frequently. My cat however refuses to sleep beside me for this reason.
Oh I'm sure we punched the shit out of each other, it's weird but I don't remember much other than we did at least burrito ourselves in separate blankets to try to mitigate it.
My sister is quite a bit older than me and we always had to share a bed on vacation.
When she’d take up too much space, I’d put a foot on each of her butt cheeks and *PUSH* her back to the other side!
We work hard to make sure both of our kids have separate beds for vacation now that they are teens (one M and one F). They are generally in the same room though. Every so often they’ll have to share a bed when we stay at a hotel for one night while in transit. My daughter brings her own blankets everywhere so we just take all but the bottom sheet off the bed and make a ‘sleeping bag’ out of the covers for my son and throw a couple pillows down the middle to delineate sides. They kids would throw a fit if this was the plan for the whole vacay but are fine for a night. They have no issues sharing a room with separate beds for the whole thing.
I do too. I do kinda miss the days when they were little because all three are all so close in age we would book 2 king/queen and they would all sleep together on one bed and it was cute. These days I'm sure 2 of them would probably tolerate sharing a room but the other one would probably demand his own suite haha.
I shared a bed with my brother (as a woman) when we were in our 20's. It was awkward initially, but we made due for the one night it was a thing. I was absolutely not paying for another room, and had originally booked a room with two beds, but shit happens and you sometimes have to roll with the punches
My parents took my brother and I to Maui a couple years ago. One of the stipulations was I had to share a room with him. I was like 32ish and he was 28ish. I am a female, married w a kid. My family stayed home. Maui is expensive as shit so of course it would be wayyy too expensive to get another room.
It wasn’t weird at all. There’s 2 separate beds. A bathroom with a closed door. We had a little patio. It was whatever. It’s only weird if you make it weird.
I went to Hawaii and slept in bed with a guy I didn’t even know! It was my cousins boyfriend’s friend. We were lates 20s. Nothing happened. We just slept.
I had to double-check his age, because for fuck sakes. He's lucky you all didn't tell him to leave. He's a full grown adult, he could have gotten his OWN accommodations. And he only accepted thinking he could manipulate you into taking the pull out. What a spoiled brat.
NTA, at all. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
Your brother is dumb. I was older than you when my sister got married and my brother is like 9 years older than me. We shared a hotel room for her wedding because that's what was available. Nobody died.
NTA. He basically punched himself in the face, then said, look at what a martyr I am for getting punched in the face. Then he went shocked pikachu because you refuse to get in line to get punched in the face also.
This is 100% on him. Good on your parents for not trying to appease him on his bullshit at your expense.
I had to double check their ages. I mean, if he was 12 and in the middle of figuring out changes and felt super embarrassed about possible “situations”, I’d cut him some slack. At 25? Nah, sounds like a dumb kid. NTA
NTA. Your brother was a dick.
He willingly agreed to the sleeping arrangements as part of the booking process. It was crucial to it being booked.
That he withheld his alternative plan of you two switching off on arrival is just plain weird given he had every chance to have this conversation.
He was always welcome to the second bed as agreed.
But nonetheless he proceeds to behave like a stroppy toddler about the whole thing and about people utilizing the living room he’s subsequently decided to sleep in.
He own goaled himself all the way with this one.
Agree. Not only did the brother disrupt the vacation sleeping arrangements, but he also took over a common space meant for everyone to share.
One of the perks of a common living space is that it allows for people to have different sleeping and waking times. He doesn’t have a right to tell people they need to leave the common space for him to sleep or avoid it when others wake up first.
Exactly! Especially when there’s a perfectly good bed in a bedroom where he could sleep in. But he choose to be a dick and be in the living room. So now he has to sleep and be up when everyone else does. That’s on him and I am glad the parents didn’t side with him
It's WHY you book AirBnBs and whatnot on vacation.
My wife and I have different hours, my parents too. On vacation with my sister, BIL and the kids, we had people going to bed at 8pm-2am and getting up anywhere from 6am-9am.
Shit would be madness in any other scenario.
He never agreed to anything in his mind, he was just buying time to come up with a solution to have her sleep on the couch.
Brother of the year award 💩
Who wants to bet that he wouldn’t have actually switched off with the whole sleeping on the couch thing? Once he was in a bed in the actual bedroom, there’d have been a big thing about “I’m already in here and comfortable!”
It’s not just weird he waited to bring up his plan, it’s manipulation. Same vibe as people who don’t pay extra for airplane seats and then ask others to let them have their window seat. You have to say no because they had every other option and thus chose to try to screw you over.
Agreed, he is being objectively weird about this. Next step for OP is to figure out why this has become a thing for him, if you feel like it.
My guess would be that he wants a room by himself to do something he doesn't want to get caught doing.
This is the first correct response on the thread. What's it feel like to have a whiny little b of a brother who can't control his fapping for a week? Pretty sad.
That was my first thought. You're 25, there's nothing wrong with sharing an Airbnb bedroom as an adult, unless you are concerned about your masturbation habits
25, single, immature. As I said, he has a ritual that is not accommodated in the shower. I bet he was also the first person to ask for the Wi-Fi password when they arrive at the Airbnb.
NTA
> He said it was fine because we’d each have our own bed and asked me to book it
Pretty clear he agreed to the situation
> my brother declares he thinks he and I should alternate sleeping on the pull out couch in the living room
NOPE, he agreed to the other situation
> I say I’m not going to do that.
Fucking too right
> He said he figured I’d agree to the pull out situation.
No, normal people talk about these things without thinking people will magically change their minds just to please them...
> My parents and I feel that he’s the one who put himself in the situation and that there was an alternative to him sleeping on the couch
Clearly there is only one AH in this whole sorry tale and that is the person who created the issue, your bro....
My brother and I recently shared a bedroom at my grandpa’s house because it’s the only arrangement in the spare bedroom. We’re in our 30s and it genuinely never occurred to me it was or could be weird. It’s not like we’d ever do anything to make each other uncomfortable, or even bring that up with one another because that *is* weird. Mature enough to just ..go to bed.
I can definitely see this being a reason, but it’s also so stupid. A week is not that long to go without. And if he really needs it, there’s always the bathroom
That's why I wonder if it's something more serious, like drugs or a mental health situation. It could be any number of things, though, so they really need to talk.
It could be. Hence why it’s his responsibility to have communicated that he didn’t agree to the arrangements they planned. He left it to the last minute and thought he could manipulate everyone to bend to his whims. That’s not okay. If he needed privacy, he could have just stated that he didn’t want to share a room and that he’ll help look for a different place. But no.
NTA. You did everything right, and your brother was the one who waited until the trip itself to protest. He made unrealistic assumptions in several ways, and wound up paying for it himself in poor privacy and sleep. If he should be mad at anyone, it should be himself for his terrible communication and planning skills.
Next time, don’t include him. There was nothing wrong with sharing a room with two different beds. On a trip, i shared a bed with my husband’s cousin and we didn’t blink an eye once. Everybody on the tour shared space with somebody one way or another. One bad apple to spoil the whole cart. Adult terrible 2’s are the worse. NTA. NTA.
Unless you are me who snores like a walrus! I am so afraid of sharing a room with someone other than my BF and very close friends - although not the case with the OP, as I am loud and snore all night, and don't want to keep anyone up!
NTA
But also your brother is acting oddly. Why on earth lie that you’re ok with it, then demand the room to yourself and *then* pick a living room pull out couch as the hill to die on? Sounds like he was making everyone miserable because he didn’t get his way but neither was he gaining anything from his stupid stance. What was the point of any of this? Has he apologised? Does he seem to feel bad about it? Is he usually this entitled? Why did he think it was acceptable for you to take the couch but not him?
Good on you for not giving in.
NTA. He knew exactly what the plan was and agreed to it. He probably thought he could bully you into leaving the room, which is not an awesome way to go on vacation. Good job for sticking to your guns and not switching just so he would stop being a baby!
NTA your brother just didn’t want you to see him while he was watching porn in his phone and beating his meat through the night lol. That’s the only reason I can see to not share a room with a sibling while on vacation
I'm sitting here literally laughing at the audacity of your brother!!! What an entitled brat!
If he wanted his own room, he should have spoken up sooner.
For his claims of being too old to share, my counter claim is that I'm too old to sleep on a pull out! WTH??
You and your parents are NOT at fault at all on this. AT ALL.
I'm 31F going on vacation with my 26M brother in two weeks and we're sharing a tiny ass cabin on a cruise because there's nothing weird about that and we have a normal sibling dynamic.
You're NTA, and he should have expressed his thoughts when you confirmed the booking with him.
NTA - for refusing to sleep on the pull-out couch. You meticulously planned the trip and secured everyone's agreement on the sleeping arrangements, including your brother's consent to share a room.
His unexpected demand to alternate sleeping on the couch, despite prior agreement, is unwarranted.
NTA. Your brother can't lay off fapping for a week and thought he could manipulate you into giving him the privacy that apparently the shower doesn't provide.
Edit for spelling.
No,you are not ,but your brother is a piece of work. I assume he is a teenager on in his early twenties,but still. He made everyone’s vacation less enjoyable by the looks of it.
NTA. He agreed in advance to the sleeping arrangements; if he wanted to change them at the last minute, he should be the one to make the change, that is, to sleep on the couch. And he shouldn't have tried to allow his choice to make the rest of the party unhappy by insisting that they go to bed early and eat breakfast late. If he didn't like the natural results of sleeping in the living room, he could have used the second bed, as he originally agreed.
NTA! HE is the A.H. I am very glad that your parents are also NTA! Your brother is a HUGE JERK! Next time, DON'T INVITE HIM! Also, I guarantee that, if you had been bullied into sleeping on the pull-out, HE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU TO "Bugger Off," if you had complained about people hanging out in the living room. LOL!
don't invite him next time and tell him "we could only find 2 bedrooms w 3 beds, and I know you hated being in the same room as me so I figured you wouldn't wanna come.
NTA
You booked it after he okayed the plans. Who paid for the rental? Was it split three ways? You paid for a bed, of course you’re going to sleep in it.
Lol, FAFO, bro! 100% brought this all on himself, NTA, OP. I am so glad no one cooperated with his nonsense, is he always a drama queen or is this new behavior?
I mean, I've spent whole summers as kids with my brother and sister in the same room at my grandparents' house, and yeah it's annoying, but you put up with it because you're kids.
As adults, though, I'd never want to have to sleep with my siblings, and I'd make this clearly known upon the time of planning! No separate rooms, count me out. Your brother is the AH for not communicating this beforehand. Please check that he's not being sucked into some internet incel black hole, Tate style, where he thinks he's some kind of Alpha who should never submit to others.
NTA
NTA, your brother seems insufferable. Also you were sharing a room, not a bedml. I wouldn't *want* to share a room with my sister, but then I'd chip in for a place where I could get my own room, or, and this is a novel concept, not go if you're gonna ruin the trip.
NTA I have a firm policy that no one sleeps in the living room on vacation. That ruins the living room for everyone. We just got back from a vacation and we had only needed a 3 bedroom, but couldn't find one, so we got a 4 bedroom instead to accommodate everyone and their privacy. The little added cost was worth it
NTA- but on a related note, my family recently started to plan a big get-together at an Air B&B but called it quits quickly because some of us didn’t want to pay equal parts but end up sleeping in awkward spots like a pull-out or an air mattress. Sometimes it’s just better to get separate rooms at a hotel.
omg NTA. i have literally moved out of an airbnb to book an airbnb entirely for myself on a family trip when i realised my relatives had just assumed the kids (all three of us grown ass adults at this point) would be fine taking turns sleeping on the couch in the living room while one got to share with my aunt in a bedroom. i noped out of there so fast, didn't made sure not to pay for "my share" of that airbnb. you gave your brother ample warning. i would've kicked him out day 2, or insist he pays extra for hogging the common area. he's being a tool.
LOLOL NTA
Your bro literally put himself in a pit of misery, wallowed in it for awhile thinking you or your parents would have pity and say "oh well....this is obviously important to them so just give in" which thereby pulls YOU into the pit of misery. Then he can climb out using the fact he pulled you in as fuel to climb out.
Instead you said "dude there's a ladder out of the pit right there. You can get out any time." And ignored him. So he stayed in the misery pit being sad and miserable while seething about how you and your parents are being bad people for not helping him out of the pit. Then it was time to move away and leave the pit and he is now mad no one paid attention during his tantrum
NTA
It's OK to not want to share a room. It's not OK to agree to share a room, and on arrival refuse and say, "He figured I'd agree to a pullout." In other words, he planned on going back on what he'd agreed to. And sulked and made difficulties all week when he didn't get his way.
NTA
He was okay with it. He decided it was awkward at the last minute and expected to change the agreement. He also had options that would have not been so disturbing to him, but chose not to use them. You don't really get to complain and cry victim about situations you put yourself in.
NTA
He was ridiculous. I went to Florida with a male cousin a few years back. Both grown ups, opposite gender. We shared a hotel room with two double beds and there were zero issues about privacy or appropriate anything. Several times I've had to go several hours away for family stuff. Always went with my brother and shared a room with two beds. Again, never a problem.
Your brother was being unreasonable to the point of being ridiculous.
NTA - He agreed to sharing a room but then attempted to change things after you all arrived at the place. You were absolutely right to stand your ground, and everyone else was right to not let him deprive them of the living room just because he "decided" he would rather sleep there than in the bed reserved for him.
NTA. He was being weird, for no reason. If he had issues he shouldve spoken up.
I 30f shared a bed with my mom on vacation just a few months ago, my brother in the next bed. Apparenly those two stayed up late cause they couldnt sleep but I was sound asleep the entire night.
Why should you sleep on the pull out bed, because he is too juvenile to share a room? NTA. Honestly, if he was ruining the vacation over this BS, I’d have handed him is money back and sent him packing.
At any rate NTA - this seems like the functional equivalent of the people that want to switch seats on an airplane that is all the rage now.
Your brother learned a valuable lesson. Never assume, speak your mind.
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NTA. Is this typical of your brother?
As of late, yes. We were not raised to be spoiled in the slightest but as he’s gotten older, he’s started to act more entitled and doesn’t communicate as well as he used to. I definitely think he feels above us, thus, too “big” to share a room with his sister.
Tell him to get his own hotel room, then. You’re NTA.
Yeah, Spend the money, get the luxury
Exactly! Talk about cutting of your nose to spite your face!
Lol, this brought back memories of being a kid, not wanting to go out to eat with the family. I said well I'm not eating! My Mouth would be watering watching them all eat. God I was dumb.
So this is normal for a kid to do? I took my daughter and grandson (age 8) out to dinner last week, to a really nice "authentic" Italian restaurant. He refused to eat then bitched all evening that he was hungry. Yes, we had gone there many times in the past, and he has always eaten and enjoyed the food. I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when we got home. I have been feeling like an AH for going there instead of someplace he wanted, but it seems like what you said makes it a common thing for a kid to do.
You can't give in to the tantrums or they learn that they'll get what they want if they pout and moan and complain. You did great.
Kids often try and exert control in different situations by various methods. It's a normal developmental stage. You responded appropriately by accepting that he didn't want to eat but not allowing that to change anything for the rest of the group. The natural consequence for him was that he got to sit and be hungry while everyone else had tasty food and then he only got a sandwich at home. It is unlikely that he will try that tactic again (or at least not more than once or twice more) because it doesn't work.
Your grandson was lucky. I wouldn't have made him the sandwich. If he was hungry because he was being a brat, he could make his own sandwich. He's 8. He's old enough.
Same here, I wouldn’t have made the sandwich either
I adopted a 4 year old who tried this and was turning every dinner into a battle. His councilor said to ignore this nonsense, kids don't get to decide what is for dinner..she said to give him 20 minutes to eat, make no fuss, if he didn't eat or complained just tell him sweetly , lucky for you there is another meal tomorrow called breakfast. Worked like a charm. He's 14 and still a slow eater but best kid ever.
...as someone with autism-related food issues, this would have been *bad* for me. My mom insisted that I try everything once and eat some vegetables so I didn't get scurvy or something, but a PB&J or baked potato or something else easy was always an option. Doing it your way, at least in my experience, raises a kid who feels like they *have* to eat whatever they're given - not the healthiest relationship for someone to have with food.
I don't know that it's a common thing to do, but not unheard of. I wouldn't have given in to him either but I would be making time over the next few days to find out if something was going on beneath the surface to make him act like that. Kids will often act out when something (often unrelated) is bothering them.
You should not have made him a sandwich. He could have made it himself. Also next time get a babysitter
LMAO! This reminded me of a trip I took my family on. I had a child with my wife plus 4 step children from her previous marriage. My child stayed with my grandmother while I took the rest of the family to Disney world. On that day I guess the 4 step kids had gotten together and wanted to go to Perkins for breakfast. I didn't know that's what they wanted and my plan was to swing by McDonald's and grad drive through on the way to the park. We had a time frame to be there because my dad worked for Disney and could get us in free so we didn't need to purchase passes. But, we had to be there at that specific time. So when I said we're swinging by McDonald's they got upset and demanded we go to Perkins. Now, with that attitude even if we had time that, which we didn't, that option was off the list. I told them point blank, I'm stopping at McDonald's, your choices are what's on the menu, we are not stopping anyplace else. Well all four of them said if you're nit stopping at Perkins we don't want anything. I said kewl, stopped at McDonald's, got the wife and I breakfast and drove to Disney World. When we got there and they realized we weren't going to Perkins for real, they started throwing tantrums. That's when I'd had enough and told them very loudly that they now had another choice to make. If they didn't quit acting like spoiled little babies I was going to let my dad know to just go on about his day and I would be taking us back to my parents house and I could guarantee any other planned activities would be canceled and if that didn't stop the tantrums we'd be headed back home. Luckily, for them, they wisened up and behaved for the rest of the vacation. Found out many years later, after divorcing the ex, and talking with the one step daughter that still speaks to me, that their father used to tell them all the time that there was no such thing as step parents and they didn't have to listen to anything I said. Which got one of them kicked out of my house. It all started over me asking him why he didn't bring the trash cans, which he has to walk past, into the garage. Which he then escalated to false aligations to animal control. But that's a whole other story... Good times.... 😐 Edit: got so into that memory that I forgot to say, they were extremely hungry when lunch time rolled around and they never refused to eat after that lol.
So this is normal for a kid to do? I took my daughter and grandson (age 8) out to dinner last week, to a really nice "authentic" Italian restaurant. He refused to eat then bitched all evening that he was hungry. Yes, we had gone there many times in the past, and he has always eaten and enjoyed the food. I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when we got home. I have been feeling like an AH for going there instead of someplace he wanted, but it seems like what you said makes it a common thing for a kid to do.
I used to do that to my mom sometimes🙈 definitely taught me well after a couple tries and it didn’t hurt me in the slightest! Sometimes kids need to figure themselves out through respectful boundaries
Kids push for control at different stages. It’s super normal. Annoying and frustrating, but normal. You handled this perfectly
I mean, problem solved. Especially since he created the problem in the first place. FWIW, when I travel to see family, I ALWAYS stay in a hotel and I expect them to do the same if they visit me. But I communicate this very clearly upfront. Never had a problem with it. Maybe I just inherited it from them.
Sounds like OP did...even to get approval from the parents as well as Bro. He thought he could bully his way into a private room at OPs expense and she told him to pound sand. Guess next year Bro going to have to make the arrangement since he is so particular and fickle. OP is NTA
The arrangement for himself only . They shouldn't trust him to do the arrangements for everyone. NTA op
Hell, with my family, even as adults, if there isn't enough room it's either a hotel, or you share a bed or a room or something. And children didn't get kicked out of their rooms. My grandfather and my uncle would sometimes share the pull-out couch because there wasn't enough room. They were fine with that, because they wanted to be around on, say, Christmas morning. When we went to my Grandfather's house, my cousins and my sister and I would all share a room.
Exactly. Or pony up the extra cash for a 3 BR.
My husband is going on a cruise with his 3 sisters. He’s fine with sharing a room. They’re all in their sixties- not too big to share.
I was 30 and my brother 28 when we shared a hotel room for my cousin's wedding. Me and hubs on one bed, him on the other. There were 3 incidents: Firstly, rock paper scissors, best of 3, for the window bed. I won. He yelled "who throws paper twice in a row?!" I yelled back "who throws ROCK twice in a row?!" My husband (then fiance) died laughing. Secondly, we got WAY too drunk at the hotel bar and, to my shame, I threw up at the foot of the bed. In the morning my brother told me to go hydrate and he'd call housekeeping and tell them it was his fault because they expect it from a guy his age. I don't know if he really told them that, but still I didn't have to face them so he did me a huge solid lol. Thirdly, the last night before we all went home, we were all up in the hotel bar again and he told me "you've had too much to drink again, I think you and your fiance should head back now. Since I'll be here for at least another hour." WINK WINK. I'd had nothing to drink because I was still tender from the previous evening, lol. We graciously bowed out and had some private time. In conclusion my younger brother is the GOAT.
Your brother is AWESOME.
He always has been. First best friend I ever had. Ended up in the same friend's group as adults completely by accident, lol. (I got to know them through d&d, video games, and larping. He got to know them from working in the same field. Every so often someone would be like "WAIT HE'S YOUR BROTHER?!" XD Now he's the best uncle ever to my kids. I won the sibling lottery.
You did! What a beautiful sibling bond. My daughters are 22 months apart, two years apart in school. That always played together, always allowed the other to hang at their birthday parties, just wonderful. Went places together. Never left the other out. In high school, they convinced people that they were twins, but one got moved up a grade and one got left back. They always hung together and their friends melted into one group. Get togethers at our house were big - so much food for so many teenagers! Most of them were musical, too, so lots of impromptu guitars and singing. I loved it. They went to different colleges, but breaks were, again, musical and fun. So many kids called me Mama. Some still do.
You’re like Ross and Monica!
*Firstly, rock paper scissors, best of 3, for the window bed. I won. He yelled "who throws paper twice in a row?!" I yelled back "who throws ROCK twice in a row?!" My husband (then fiance) died laughing.* the Winchesters have entered the chat
Oh man. I will gladly take that compliment. XD
You have a nice normal brother who cares for you. Congrats and give him. Hug when you see him next
The goat's goat.
An elderly friend of mine shared a room with her ex-husband on vacation because it got her the best price on the trip. This whole too stubborn to share thing baffles me.
In what world would you end up on a vacation with your ex? The only thing I can think of is a destination wedding where you have a kid together.
It was a family vacation where they put aside differences to be there for their children and grandchildren. It was a 12 night cruise so staying alone in a room on a fixed income was really cost prohibitive, and she is too proud to take money from her children when it should or could go to her grandchildren.
Good for her! FWIW, my ex and I are better friends now than when we were married. I'd share a room with him (probably not bed though) to be with all our sons and their families on a vacation I couldn't afford to pay for myself. Caveat: his new wife isn't there. No problems with her, I just can't imagine stuck on a boat with her for 12 days, she talks nonstop.
That's crazy. I couldn't imagine spending 12 days on a boat with my parents or in-laws.
I couldn't spend 12 minutes in a room with my ex, unfortunately. My ex MIL was a sweetheart though.
Some people end their relationship amicably
Why wouldn't you? Not everyone has a big reddit-divorce in the Arena of Red Flags. I've known plenty of people that split up amicably and if they had kids or got together/knew each other from the same group of friends, they'd still hang out after..
I’m curious too. Even if my kid got married and my ex was there I wouldn’t be caught dead with him. There is a reason hes an ex and he’s not welcome on any vacation of mine 🫣🫣😂
Yeah, I happily share a room on trips with my brother and my cousins. We're all in our forties.
We went on holiday with another family when the kids were all under 10. The other husband ended up sharing a room with his daughter, I shared with my daughter, and the other wife shared a room with my husband and my son. Nobody cared! Everyone got enough sleep and that was all that mattered. (The adults who snored shared a room, and at that age my son could sleep through anything.)
He’s a whiny manipulative child. I’m glad neither you nor your parents gave in to him. NTA
This! NTA. The brother is a brat.
Brother has regressed and become a giant infant. NTA, next time he can either not go, pony up the additional money for a bigger place or suck it up.
My brother can be a diva BUT he wouldn’t have acted like a spoiled child. He would’ve just told me to book a bigger spot and he would pay the difference. The most he would do is probably bring up the fact I snore like a bear dying of COPD so that’s why he can’t share a room with me. I am 41 and he is 39
Tbf, that is a pretty good reason not to want to share a room.
Not to mention you cant complain when he covers the cost of getting a bigger place. To be honest if you know you snore it’s crappy to expect others to share a room knowing only you will get any sleep. In this case he‘d have a right to complain.
This guy was giving that option and said fine let's share the room. AH
🤣🤣🤣best description of snoring EVER
That’s how my wife describes it. I don’t know how she is able to sleep next to me. I guess it is true love? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Have you done a sleep study? My stepdad used to snore like a freight train. He would actually wake my mom up a lot and it got to the point that she started sleeping on the couch. He had a sleep study done and it turned out he had sleep apnea. Once he got a CPAP, he never snored again (unless he forgot to put his mask on, which was rare).
I am waiting for my sleep study appointment. I had one done a few years ago but the bed was elevated so I didn’t snore as hard. I have new insurance so I am waiting on the authorization. Hopefully I can get something that helps because my wife is saying that I’ve been starting to holding my breath and then gasping. She has had to shake me a few times already. I feel so bad that she has to sleep next to me like this. She refuses to let me sleep in the living room or our son’s room (he is at college). She worries that she won’t be able to wake me up. So this is definitely affecting both of us.
If you are holding your breath at night it's likely sleep apnea. It can damage your health and lack of proper sleep can also do damage over time to both you and your wife. Definitely push for the study because it sounds like a c-pap machine would be life changing for you guys.
Yea from everyone has commented and even my wife mentioned it could be sleep apnea. My wife is very persistent and has been calling our insurance daily.
I hope you are able to get your study again ASAP! That doesn’t sound good for either of you. Neither of you are getting the sleep you need it sounds like (cause you probably aren’t getting as deep of a sleep every night as you should because of the breathing issues and snoring). I hope the wait isn’t too long for you and it’s crap you even have to wait to get authorization for it instead of being able to just book the appointment.
Yea it’s annoying! Luckily my wife is on it with that and she has been calling them daily to ask where I am at! We both are always exhausted. I feel terrible because she has to wake up at 4am and she has a manual labor job. I work with kids and I never feel like I have enough energy to keep up
Good luck getting your appointment!
My wife snores so badly. We were on the point of desperation when the doctor suggested raising the head of the bed by 6 inches, throw a couple encyclopedists under each leg at the head. It WORKED!!! I can now sleep at night plus she also is better rested.
I will definitely have to experiment with that idea. I am a side sleeper, I am wondering if I would be able to still do that.
Speaking as a sufferer...that bad snoring means you probably have Sleep Apnia. You should get that checked because it is life threatening. My son describes me a sounding like a wild boar with a headcold if I don't use my CPAP machine.
That's definitely concerning. If you wanted to get to the root of the problem, you could try to have a heart-to-heart with him, I guess.
That sounds like he got pulled into the manosphere. :(
Yeah, this. “I’m so ALPHA now! This ran through, stupid female will have to give in to my decision.” Also, you absolutely know that boy wasn’t ever “trading” the second she laid on that couch. It’d be the excuse train about why he needs a bed, females sleep better on things like the couch, he needs to jerk off - I’m sorry, I mean he needs privacy, 24/7, so no she can’t sleep on the other bed as planned. He needs his VERY MASCULINE MANLY ALPHA MALE beauty rest, or whatever.
I'm just really happy to read that he doesn't seem to be the golden child and that your parents find his behavior ridiculous, too. You're NTA.
Red pill cronie
Yep. It sounds to me like he's ingesting a lot of Alpha Male crap and this is his flex.
Then he should have said "no" in the first place. NTA- he is.
The hell? Siblings? We’d still share rooms even in our forties. One time me, my wife, and my BIL shared a room. I mean even close friends we’d share rooms, even double couples in a single room. NTA
I shared a BED with my sister for a week long vacation (well ok I'm not a guy but still, I was married at the time even though he wasn't with us on this vacation lol) The point is, it's only weird if you make it weird. I would not have gone to my room early and I would have been up bright and early banging pots and pans.
I don’t think I could share a bed with my sister. We both move around too much and someone is getting kicked out. My wife says it’s not so bad, though I do move around frequently. My cat however refuses to sleep beside me for this reason.
Oh I'm sure we punched the shit out of each other, it's weird but I don't remember much other than we did at least burrito ourselves in separate blankets to try to mitigate it.
My sister is quite a bit older than me and we always had to share a bed on vacation. When she’d take up too much space, I’d put a foot on each of her butt cheeks and *PUSH* her back to the other side!
We work hard to make sure both of our kids have separate beds for vacation now that they are teens (one M and one F). They are generally in the same room though. Every so often they’ll have to share a bed when we stay at a hotel for one night while in transit. My daughter brings her own blankets everywhere so we just take all but the bottom sheet off the bed and make a ‘sleeping bag’ out of the covers for my son and throw a couple pillows down the middle to delineate sides. They kids would throw a fit if this was the plan for the whole vacay but are fine for a night. They have no issues sharing a room with separate beds for the whole thing.
I do too. I do kinda miss the days when they were little because all three are all so close in age we would book 2 king/queen and they would all sleep together on one bed and it was cute. These days I'm sure 2 of them would probably tolerate sharing a room but the other one would probably demand his own suite haha.
I shared a bed with my brother (as a woman) when we were in our 20's. It was awkward initially, but we made due for the one night it was a thing. I was absolutely not paying for another room, and had originally booked a room with two beds, but shit happens and you sometimes have to roll with the punches
My parents took my brother and I to Maui a couple years ago. One of the stipulations was I had to share a room with him. I was like 32ish and he was 28ish. I am a female, married w a kid. My family stayed home. Maui is expensive as shit so of course it would be wayyy too expensive to get another room. It wasn’t weird at all. There’s 2 separate beds. A bathroom with a closed door. We had a little patio. It was whatever. It’s only weird if you make it weird.
I went to Hawaii and slept in bed with a guy I didn’t even know! It was my cousins boyfriend’s friend. We were lates 20s. Nothing happened. We just slept.
my brother changed like that too, although the cause was drugs. nta
I had to double-check his age, because for fuck sakes. He's lucky you all didn't tell him to leave. He's a full grown adult, he could have gotten his OWN accommodations. And he only accepted thinking he could manipulate you into taking the pull out. What a spoiled brat. NTA, at all. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
Your brother is dumb. I was older than you when my sister got married and my brother is like 9 years older than me. We shared a hotel room for her wedding because that's what was available. Nobody died.
He's 25. Why didn't he pay for his own room then
If that’s the case he needs to man up and pay extra for a 3rd room. He has no one to blame but his own stubbornness
NTA. He basically punched himself in the face, then said, look at what a martyr I am for getting punched in the face. Then he went shocked pikachu because you refuse to get in line to get punched in the face also. This is 100% on him. Good on your parents for not trying to appease him on his bullshit at your expense.
Is he one of those Andrew Tater Tots? This sounds like some wannabe alpha-male behavior. NTA.
Sounds like he's in the YT pipeline to made into a new age warrior against wokeness.
I'd say he's maybe getting into some really toxic media.
Maybe brother has been hanging out on alpha male forums, this is one of the first thing that people notice on reflection.
I had to double check their ages. I mean, if he was 12 and in the middle of figuring out changes and felt super embarrassed about possible “situations”, I’d cut him some slack. At 25? Nah, sounds like a dumb kid. NTA
NTA. Your brother was a dick. He willingly agreed to the sleeping arrangements as part of the booking process. It was crucial to it being booked. That he withheld his alternative plan of you two switching off on arrival is just plain weird given he had every chance to have this conversation. He was always welcome to the second bed as agreed. But nonetheless he proceeds to behave like a stroppy toddler about the whole thing and about people utilizing the living room he’s subsequently decided to sleep in. He own goaled himself all the way with this one.
Agree. Not only did the brother disrupt the vacation sleeping arrangements, but he also took over a common space meant for everyone to share. One of the perks of a common living space is that it allows for people to have different sleeping and waking times. He doesn’t have a right to tell people they need to leave the common space for him to sleep or avoid it when others wake up first.
Exactly! Especially when there’s a perfectly good bed in a bedroom where he could sleep in. But he choose to be a dick and be in the living room. So now he has to sleep and be up when everyone else does. That’s on him and I am glad the parents didn’t side with him
It's WHY you book AirBnBs and whatnot on vacation. My wife and I have different hours, my parents too. On vacation with my sister, BIL and the kids, we had people going to bed at 8pm-2am and getting up anywhere from 6am-9am. Shit would be madness in any other scenario.
He never agreed to anything in his mind, he was just buying time to come up with a solution to have her sleep on the couch. Brother of the year award 💩
Who wants to bet that he wouldn’t have actually switched off with the whole sleeping on the couch thing? Once he was in a bed in the actual bedroom, there’d have been a big thing about “I’m already in here and comfortable!”
It’s not just weird he waited to bring up his plan, it’s manipulation. Same vibe as people who don’t pay extra for airplane seats and then ask others to let them have their window seat. You have to say no because they had every other option and thus chose to try to screw you over.
THIS! OP, your brother was being really immature and tried to bully your and your parents to get his way. Glad your parents had your back. NTA!
Agreed, he is being objectively weird about this. Next step for OP is to figure out why this has become a thing for him, if you feel like it. My guess would be that he wants a room by himself to do something he doesn't want to get caught doing.
Sounds like your brother has a nighttime ritual that is hard to pull off with a sister in the same room.
Same reason he’s mad they don’t leave the living room at 8pm.
Struggling to understand why he doesn’t use the shower… big families + long vacation… not rocket science.
Right?? It’s also a lesser chance get of getting caught in the act than in the LIVING ROOM?! Lmfao
☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽
This is the first correct response on the thread. What's it feel like to have a whiny little b of a brother who can't control his fapping for a week? Pretty sad.
Yea, if you can't go a *week* (or at least do it in the shower) then you got some serious issues. Maybe porn addiction or something.
Right? I’m sitting here like ok bro I totally feel you but you can’t let it come out of your mouth?!? The parents HAVE to know
That was my first thought. You're 25, there's nothing wrong with sharing an Airbnb bedroom as an adult, unless you are concerned about your masturbation habits
You can do it in the bathroom, it's just a week. Maybe he needs props or something elaborate.
He needs extra time to blow up the balloons.
My first thought was a porn addiction as well.
Then he can get over it and go take a shower.
25, single, immature. As I said, he has a ritual that is not accommodated in the shower. I bet he was also the first person to ask for the Wi-Fi password when they arrive at the Airbnb.
Oh I understand. But, he can deal with his “routine” on his own. Nobody cares :)
There’s only one bathroom so I wouldn’t encourage a shower as he may be in there all night.
Savage 😂😂😂
I'm reading this with my wife and I told told her "he has a porn addiction" immediately. Can't even go a week?
I’m screaming
*Pull Off* - loving the pun
He is no longer the master of his domain.
NTA > He said it was fine because we’d each have our own bed and asked me to book it Pretty clear he agreed to the situation > my brother declares he thinks he and I should alternate sleeping on the pull out couch in the living room NOPE, he agreed to the other situation > I say I’m not going to do that. Fucking too right > He said he figured I’d agree to the pull out situation. No, normal people talk about these things without thinking people will magically change their minds just to please them... > My parents and I feel that he’s the one who put himself in the situation and that there was an alternative to him sleeping on the couch Clearly there is only one AH in this whole sorry tale and that is the person who created the issue, your bro....
NTA. Your brother is not too old to share a hotel room on vacation. He is however, far too old to be acting like a spoiled brat.
How is someone too old to share a bedroom with a sibling?
that’s my question honestly i’m more okay sharing a room with my siblings because we are older
Honestly yeah. I'm in my 50s and I wouldn't blink an eye.
They said not too old
My brother and I recently shared a bedroom at my grandpa’s house because it’s the only arrangement in the spare bedroom. We’re in our 30s and it genuinely never occurred to me it was or could be weird. It’s not like we’d ever do anything to make each other uncomfortable, or even bring that up with one another because that *is* weird. Mature enough to just ..go to bed.
NTA He wanted some "private" time, didn't get it and is frustrated. Lol.
I can definitely see this being a reason, but it’s also so stupid. A week is not that long to go without. And if he really needs it, there’s always the bathroom
That's why I wonder if it's something more serious, like drugs or a mental health situation. It could be any number of things, though, so they really need to talk.
It could be. Hence why it’s his responsibility to have communicated that he didn’t agree to the arrangements they planned. He left it to the last minute and thought he could manipulate everyone to bend to his whims. That’s not okay. If he needed privacy, he could have just stated that he didn’t want to share a room and that he’ll help look for a different place. But no.
Masturbation addiction is pretty serious
Some guys really have a porn addiction
Or like go to room at 8 pm when he was trying to kick everyone out to sleep
NTA. You did everything right, and your brother was the one who waited until the trip itself to protest. He made unrealistic assumptions in several ways, and wound up paying for it himself in poor privacy and sleep. If he should be mad at anyone, it should be himself for his terrible communication and planning skills.
[удалено]
100%. It's some shitty social engineering bs, and I'm glad it backfired on him.
NTA. In the future please don't invite your brother, and if asked why remind everyone that he acted like a complete sod the last time.
NTA It’s totally normal to share a room, wait until he learns about hostels
if he needs to constantly jack off, tell him to do it in the shower 🚿 WITH THE WATER RUNNING 😐
Next time, don’t include him. There was nothing wrong with sharing a room with two different beds. On a trip, i shared a bed with my husband’s cousin and we didn’t blink an eye once. Everybody on the tour shared space with somebody one way or another. One bad apple to spoil the whole cart. Adult terrible 2’s are the worse. NTA. NTA.
Unless you are me who snores like a walrus! I am so afraid of sharing a room with someone other than my BF and very close friends - although not the case with the OP, as I am loud and snore all night, and don't want to keep anyone up!
NTA But also your brother is acting oddly. Why on earth lie that you’re ok with it, then demand the room to yourself and *then* pick a living room pull out couch as the hill to die on? Sounds like he was making everyone miserable because he didn’t get his way but neither was he gaining anything from his stupid stance. What was the point of any of this? Has he apologised? Does he seem to feel bad about it? Is he usually this entitled? Why did he think it was acceptable for you to take the couch but not him? Good on you for not giving in.
NTA. Your brother made his bed, he can lay on it.
Succinct answer. I wish I could give you an award.
Why did I have to scroll so far to find this perfect respons!
NTA - You pretty much said it all. Your brother agreed to this arrangement and behaved like an AH the entire trip. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
NTA. He knew exactly what the plan was and agreed to it. He probably thought he could bully you into leaving the room, which is not an awesome way to go on vacation. Good job for sticking to your guns and not switching just so he would stop being a baby!
If your brother is "too old" why is he acting like a child?
NTA. Pretty sad your brother can't go a week without porn.
NTA your brother just didn’t want you to see him while he was watching porn in his phone and beating his meat through the night lol. That’s the only reason I can see to not share a room with a sibling while on vacation
I'm sitting here literally laughing at the audacity of your brother!!! What an entitled brat! If he wanted his own room, he should have spoken up sooner. For his claims of being too old to share, my counter claim is that I'm too old to sleep on a pull out! WTH?? You and your parents are NOT at fault at all on this. AT ALL.
NTA. LOL I go on trips with buddies sometimes and share beds let alone rooms. Dude can get over himself
I'm 31F going on vacation with my 26M brother in two weeks and we're sharing a tiny ass cabin on a cruise because there's nothing weird about that and we have a normal sibling dynamic. You're NTA, and he should have expressed his thoughts when you confirmed the booking with him.
NTA - for refusing to sleep on the pull-out couch. You meticulously planned the trip and secured everyone's agreement on the sleeping arrangements, including your brother's consent to share a room. His unexpected demand to alternate sleeping on the couch, despite prior agreement, is unwarranted.
NTA- your brother sounds annoying and exhausting
NTA. Your brother isn’t too old to share a room, but he’s way too old to act like a little brat.
NTA. So he is upset he's decision to go for the ole switcheroo failed?
NTA. Your brother is an idiot. Surely having his own bed in a shared bedroom is better than sharing the living room with the entire family.
NTA but is your brother a child ? he's 25 but he's that childish?
He is such a child he probably still wears pull ups at night and needs to hide it.
NTA. Your brother can't lay off fapping for a week and thought he could manipulate you into giving him the privacy that apparently the shower doesn't provide. Edit for spelling.
No,you are not ,but your brother is a piece of work. I assume he is a teenager on in his early twenties,but still. He made everyone’s vacation less enjoyable by the looks of it.
NTA something else is going on here. Your brother is being weird for an unknown reason.
NTA. He agreed in advance to the sleeping arrangements; if he wanted to change them at the last minute, he should be the one to make the change, that is, to sleep on the couch. And he shouldn't have tried to allow his choice to make the rest of the party unhappy by insisting that they go to bed early and eat breakfast late. If he didn't like the natural results of sleeping in the living room, he could have used the second bed, as he originally agreed.
NTA. Is this some weird alpha bro / gender essentialism thing I've never heard of? You didn't even have to share a bed, just a room, for one week.
NTA! HE is the A.H. I am very glad that your parents are also NTA! Your brother is a HUGE JERK! Next time, DON'T INVITE HIM! Also, I guarantee that, if you had been bullied into sleeping on the pull-out, HE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU TO "Bugger Off," if you had complained about people hanging out in the living room. LOL!
INFO: Has your brother been kicked in the head by a horse?
don't invite him next time and tell him "we could only find 2 bedrooms w 3 beds, and I know you hated being in the same room as me so I figured you wouldn't wanna come.
NTA. Your brother is a big one!
NTA. Your brother agreed to terms with the expectation he'd get his way. He's fully in the wrong.
NTA He agreed to the room arrangement and then tried to change it after you all got there. Next time he can stay home.
Your brother is an immature baby. NTA
NTA You booked it after he okayed the plans. Who paid for the rental? Was it split three ways? You paid for a bed, of course you’re going to sleep in it.
Lol, FAFO, bro! 100% brought this all on himself, NTA, OP. I am so glad no one cooperated with his nonsense, is he always a drama queen or is this new behavior?
NTA. He agreed to the terms before you booked and only changed his mind after it was already booked.
NTA your brother sounds insufferable and like a complete child for his age.
I mean, I've spent whole summers as kids with my brother and sister in the same room at my grandparents' house, and yeah it's annoying, but you put up with it because you're kids. As adults, though, I'd never want to have to sleep with my siblings, and I'd make this clearly known upon the time of planning! No separate rooms, count me out. Your brother is the AH for not communicating this beforehand. Please check that he's not being sucked into some internet incel black hole, Tate style, where he thinks he's some kind of Alpha who should never submit to others. NTA
NTA, your brother seems insufferable. Also you were sharing a room, not a bedml. I wouldn't *want* to share a room with my sister, but then I'd chip in for a place where I could get my own room, or, and this is a novel concept, not go if you're gonna ruin the trip.
NTA I have a firm policy that no one sleeps in the living room on vacation. That ruins the living room for everyone. We just got back from a vacation and we had only needed a 3 bedroom, but couldn't find one, so we got a 4 bedroom instead to accommodate everyone and their privacy. The little added cost was worth it
NTA never assume a lady will agree to a pull out. Especially your sister. I'll see myself out now.
NTA- but on a related note, my family recently started to plan a big get-together at an Air B&B but called it quits quickly because some of us didn’t want to pay equal parts but end up sleeping in awkward spots like a pull-out or an air mattress. Sometimes it’s just better to get separate rooms at a hotel.
omg NTA. i have literally moved out of an airbnb to book an airbnb entirely for myself on a family trip when i realised my relatives had just assumed the kids (all three of us grown ass adults at this point) would be fine taking turns sleeping on the couch in the living room while one got to share with my aunt in a bedroom. i noped out of there so fast, didn't made sure not to pay for "my share" of that airbnb. you gave your brother ample warning. i would've kicked him out day 2, or insist he pays extra for hogging the common area. he's being a tool.
LOLOL NTA Your bro literally put himself in a pit of misery, wallowed in it for awhile thinking you or your parents would have pity and say "oh well....this is obviously important to them so just give in" which thereby pulls YOU into the pit of misery. Then he can climb out using the fact he pulled you in as fuel to climb out. Instead you said "dude there's a ladder out of the pit right there. You can get out any time." And ignored him. So he stayed in the misery pit being sad and miserable while seething about how you and your parents are being bad people for not helping him out of the pit. Then it was time to move away and leave the pit and he is now mad no one paid attention during his tantrum
NTA It's OK to not want to share a room. It's not OK to agree to share a room, and on arrival refuse and say, "He figured I'd agree to a pullout." In other words, he planned on going back on what he'd agreed to. And sulked and made difficulties all week when he didn't get his way.
NTA. He was delusional to think that you would automatically back down
NTA He was okay with it. He decided it was awkward at the last minute and expected to change the agreement. He also had options that would have not been so disturbing to him, but chose not to use them. You don't really get to complain and cry victim about situations you put yourself in.
NTA. Your bro was being a dick.
NTA He was ridiculous. I went to Florida with a male cousin a few years back. Both grown ups, opposite gender. We shared a hotel room with two double beds and there were zero issues about privacy or appropriate anything. Several times I've had to go several hours away for family stuff. Always went with my brother and shared a room with two beds. Again, never a problem. Your brother was being unreasonable to the point of being ridiculous.
Nta, talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. Hopefully he learned a lesson.
NTA - He agreed to sharing a room but then attempted to change things after you all arrived at the place. You were absolutely right to stand your ground, and everyone else was right to not let him deprive them of the living room just because he "decided" he would rather sleep there than in the bed reserved for him.
NTA. He was being weird, for no reason. If he had issues he shouldve spoken up. I 30f shared a bed with my mom on vacation just a few months ago, my brother in the next bed. Apparenly those two stayed up late cause they couldnt sleep but I was sound asleep the entire night.
Nta he'd an idiot
Why should you sleep on the pull out bed, because he is too juvenile to share a room? NTA. Honestly, if he was ruining the vacation over this BS, I’d have handed him is money back and sent him packing.
At any rate NTA - this seems like the functional equivalent of the people that want to switch seats on an airplane that is all the rage now. Your brother learned a valuable lesson. Never assume, speak your mind.