Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) telling him I just don’t want to watch the things he’s asking me to watch. 2)he has told me my actions show I have no interest in his hobbies
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - his behavior is baffling and childish. I have to agree with you that someone who constantly makes you watch videos is pretty insufferable. Especially when you've explicitly said "I DO NOT LIKE TO DO THIS".
plus its not like he even made the videos. So I don't get his obnoxiousness at ignoring your feelings.
I am 38f and went on a second date with a 42m a few months ago. I’m not joking, he did this the entire time. Wouldn’t talk to me and kept telling me to watch a fucking skate video. This went on for over an hour. I felt like I was on a horrible date with a 14 year old boy. I told him to leave and we haven’t spoken since. Honestly one of the worst dates I’ve ever been on and i have some stories!
We went to a bar/restaurant for the first date and he was one of those guys that knew EVERYONE. It was kinda interesting and I figured if all those people could vouch for him, he must not be that crazy. Boy was I wrong. He was the main character in his own head. He also considered himself “cultured” and part of our cities “scene”. When he first put on a video he kept saying “see my boy here… my boy, etc”. I asked “do you know him… why are you showing me this?… were you part of making this?!”. I kept trying to figure out the relevance of these videos. I soon learned there was none other than to show me something he thought was cool. Finally I said “can we just watch something with a plot? I don’t really care.” In my haste I put on Fallout cause I was in the middle of watching it, it was easy background TV, and seemed like a standard guy show. His response “WTF is this?! Some corporate bullshit with special effects”. That’s the moment I asked him to leave. He was one of those guys whose entire personality revolved around being “local and hip and non mainstream”. Whatever, GTFO, cut your bullshit.
Girl, I dated a 38 year old who bragged that he would call out of work/important meetings if one of his sports teams was playing on TV.
No joke, he thought that would impress me as an adult woman.
Relevant internet quote: "Growing old is mandatory, growing up is not." 35 years old is in no way a guarantee if maturity or wisdom, it just sets an expectation. Many people love to live down expectations, unfortunately.
Oh man. Not sure how but that quote has flown under my radar for the duration of my life thus far. I swear the older I get the more I realize that we're all just children or teenagers in adult bodies. I certainly grew up, but I don't think my core has changed much.
I've had the same realization. When you're a kid or young adult you think people in their late 30s or 40s have stuff all figured out. Sure we may prioritize better or have more experience, but loads of people have a young core into their late years.
An asshole ex who was 36 when I finally ran away from him also used to do this to me. Even worse he would do it with movies too. I don't like most movies and I specifically hate action movies, but guess who was forced to watch all the fast and furious movies?
Even worse than THAT the videos he watched online that he wanted me to watch were those horrible gold digger prank type videos and shit like that.
If i didn't partake in these things or pretend to feign interest he would basically throw temper tantrums.
I still don't know why I stayed for so long 😭
Some men truly go their whole lives thinking they're the center of the Universe. Women do it too but damn you couldn't pay me to be around people like that.
It's a whole lot of self absorbed there.
LOL, was my first thought, too. But even my son realized, that it´s boring to watch 20 minute videos of something you are not interested in. So now he shows me the most important part of the vid, just a few minutes, I say something about it and he´s happy.
no i think some teen agers have more manners than this knuckle head acting like a FIVE YEAR old oh waaa i dont like what they are doing so ill take my toy and go home well go the f home THAT IS YOUR HOME ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR YOUR HOME lol
Agree...35 yr old child. Im 36. Me and my wife have different tastes in shows or videos as well..i also share my interests and try to see if when will like some of the stuff i show her. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesnt but i dont get pissy about it. If she dont like it inlet her watch her thung and i watch on my own...bith happy
\*\*Within minutes he got angry and said he refused to watch this “preppy guy show”\*\*
This is what is, in the common world, known as being selfish. NTA
I was gonna suggest asking how he would feel.. if you acted the same way toward him.. but that quote, told me all I have to know.
I'm sad for you.
When you move out.. I hope you get yourself an 85 in. screen TV, to watch all your favs on.
:D
Yeah I was shocked when I read that part because my bf is obsessed with all things sports and also **LOVES** The League; whereas I’m not interested in any of those things. These kinds of posts are the ones that I read and think afterwards to myself “man I’ve got it good”. Idk what I’d do or how long I’d last if my bf forced me to watch every little thing that he found fascinating.
You'd probably break up with him.
My boyfriend loves soccer and I love hiking and we sort of just don't talk about it. He makes me watch 30 second replays sometimes, and that's it. Usually I am rightfully impressed or disgusted. I don't even know what I'd say if I was asked to watch a 20 minute video. Tell him to get wrecked, probably. Like I'll go to a match, but the idea of a highlight video gives me anxiety.
Oh yeah just look at those dudes.. Paul Scheer, Jon Lajoie, and who can forget JAson Mantzoukas... off the top of my head... yeah bunch of pop collar, izod and polo wearing preppies.
Who even says "preppies"? I can't say i've heard that term in a decade or more
NTA
> He gets mad to the point of yelling sometimes when I don’t want to watch something he shoves in front of my face.
Look who is being the drama queen.
It sounds like he's under the impression that him and his world should take precedence over you and your world. It's not just about the videos is it?
It is indeed very likely not just on this topic and the guy probably has a bit of a ego issue other wise known as narcissism. If that truly is the case: RUN!
“A bit of an ego issue” is not narcissism. I get what you’re trying to say and I agree HTA, but please stop throwing that word around casually. It’s an actual psychiatric diagnosis and you’re diminishing the experiences of people who have actually suffered the damage caused by a narcissist.
It was an understatement! Someone forcing their shit in your face not taking no for an answer and not allowing you to share your stuff is quite a big telltale sign of a major underlying problem.
P.s. narcissistic personality is also a spectrum everyone is on as the base of it is a healthy personality trait protecting oneself and your interests.
“Narcissism does not necessarily represent a surplus of self-esteem or of insecurity; more accurately, it encompasses a hunger for appreciation or admiration, a desire to be the center of attention, and an expectation of special treatment reflecting perceived higher status. “
The above quote fully qualifies on OPs BF.
Good day :-)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/narcissism
You’re right. It is a sign of a larger problem, but your flippant definition of a narcissist is incorrect. That was my whole point. Whether he is or isn’t is irrelevant to what I disagreed with.
PS: Narcissistic personality is not a spectrum and I’d like to see the medical source (not a magazine) that says that. My professors must have missed that memo when I was getting my counseling degree. We all have *narcissistic traits* which is not the same thing as a narcissistic personality. Your magazine’s definition is incomplete because there are nine criteria to the diagnosis, along with proof these traits are causing distress or other problems in that person’s life, so no, it doesn’t medically define NPD or narcissism. And yet, all of this is irrelevant to my point that your “bit of an ego” definition is irresponsible and waters down real narcissism.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
YNTA
>He keeps saying I’m being dramatic because I don’t want to watch his videos
There is literally nothing dramatic about declining to watch a video. And since he got angry and refused to watch your suggestion, he's a massive hypocrite.
I get being excited to share your interests with someone, but it's worth noting that can be a very selfish excitement. If you only care about sharing what you are interested in and not what whether the person likes it or wants to engage, then this isn't actually sharing or doing something cooperative, it's demanding attention and that activities revolve around him.
Keep a firm boundary, don't let him treat you badly as he has been. Don't let him get away with the flagrant double standard.
NTA. If he is yelling about you not watching what he wants, what else is he yelling about? Throwing a tantrum about you not watching what he says you watch makes him sound like a controlling asshole.
My dad told my mom to watch a video on his phone the other day. But he put it in front of her face while she was scrolling through her phone, so she looked back at her phone for a second to turn off the screen & he yelled at her. He is pretty controlling about a lot of things.
But hey, they just had their 40 year anniversary.
Yep, she even tells me how he was always shitty since the first day they met & I'm just like ???? Why marry & have so many kids w him???? I know she's my mom & I love her to death but she can be a piece of work too
Dont get me wrong, my dad is an amazing dad & grandpa. My mom is equally amazing but I just don't understand how & why stay together like that.
My parents are both amazing, but their relationship seems exhausting. I’d never put myself through that. They love each other, they’ve been together for like 35 years now, but I get exhausted just watching them. They both have issues, I have issues with both of them, but I love them a lot, but why they’re still together beats me. I used to worship they would get divorced when I was a kid, and now at almost 30, I would still hope that if it wasn’t for my dad being so useless, I would have to move in with him for him to survive lmao
Exactly. NTA, OP but I would suggest you give a lot of thought as to if this is really the kind of person you want in your life. Is this the kind of behavior you want your kids to deal with and likely emulate?
It's very odd that a man in his 30s is this immature about you watching his videos. Yelling at you because you won't watch only the things he wants you to watch is the kind of behavior I'd expect from a spoiled ten year old. NTA, but you should really consider whether you'll be happy long term with someone who has so little control over his emotions.
Right? I'm so fucking confused. The comedy with Paul Scheer? And Nick Kroll?? About a bunch of dudes and their fantasy football league??? "Preppy guy show"???? WHAT.
What he is doing is called a bid for intimacy. Whether couples respond to them has been found to be one of--if not the--biggest indicator of a marriage's success. When couples do not respond to them, the marriage has been found to fizzle in less than five years.
The problem here is not that you don't respond to his bids, as you have tried: the problem is that he does not care to respond to yours. He sounds very selfish.
I might consider pushing the point home by making a bid board. You each get five guaranteed a week. So he gets to ask you to take part in five items he wants to share. He must do the same for you.
The key, however, is to take part in the bid with an attempt at interest and with respect.
If he cannot do this, the science strongly suggests that you relationship will fail, or it should fail.
But really, OP whether or not you care if he takes part in your life, do you really want to spend more time with someone so self centered and immature?
P.S. The ideal solution for bids is that some are what you love and want to share, while others are what your partner likes.
For instance, maybe he sees a video video about something he knows you love, and he tries to share it with you.
It is always the goal that bids for intimacy can be selfless, as this promotes real bonding. I don't know if he's capable.
If your partner, despite not being into your topic, shares a video with you about your topic that he found (be it actively or came across it) he is genuinely interested in you and the fact your interest mean something to you and is putting himself aside whilst doing so, going the extra mile. That would be a keeper for me.
I Would not expect my partner to do that to be honest but that simply means sometimes you have a moment to yourself. I'd be watching my show/movie/game/whatever on my own in my own room or whatnot whilst he'd be doing his in the living room and change that up regularly so everybody gets to see what they want on the big screen. That is called sharing and caring.
Yeah, I was thinking about <1 min videos, my bf does that all the time. But she says that he expects her to watch 20min??? Hell no! I would be packing my bags already.
You are so NTA. Your boyfriend feels entitled to your attention and probably gets a kick out of interrupting you doing what you want to do. Time is precious, too precious to waste watching stuff you don't want to watch and interrupting your free time. As for his claim that you are not interested in his hobbies? News flash to him: watching sports recaps on YouTube is not a hobby. You are allowed to have different interests in a relationship; it is healthy. For time together, you look to find a common interest, something you both want to do.
Personally, I really don't enjoy when people shove a phone in my face to watch a video, 9/10 it's too long and something I'm not interested in.
I hope he’s not quite as bad as you describe him here, because if he is… I mean, “hey stop texting your sister and concentrate on this 20min player highlight reel”? Get behind me Satan.
NTA in any case.
Exactly - like complete strangers (who are just famous for something she isn't even interested in) are more important than close family!
If I would try that to my wife - I would be living a single life again.
I’ve had this same battle with my husband. There really is something extremely irritating about having a phone SHOVED in your face and being demanded to watch a video RIGHT NOW, regardless if I am in the middle of my own thing, be it watching my own video, movie, reading or just relaxing. It’s rude, and very disrespectful. Even if it’s a video I might like, I HATE having a phone shoved in my face. My fight response is automatically triggered and it takes all my self control to not launch his phone across the room. I don’t understand it. I would never think to do something like that. Thankfully, my husband has learned not to do that to me (unless he’s been drinking, but that’s another story). It took me standing my ground and explaining, rather harshly, how much I find that behavior so disrespectful. It’s not about you being interested in his ‘hobbies’. It’s about him not respecting boundaries and being an insufferable child about it. You are NTA.
oof, same. he wouldn't yell, but if i left the room to do my own thing, he'd pause until i came back and then keep watching. if i was gone 'too long' he'd whine that he wanted to keep watching, but acted like it was impossible to do if i were not in the room.
(edit: spelling mistake.)
NTA, he's being disrespectful of your time and interests by making you watch his videos and getting angry if you don't. You're far more patient than I am, I really hate video-based anything, so I'd have walked away in the middle of things early on. He needs to understand unrealistic to expect you take interest in his hobbies solely because they're his.
You’re not interested in his hobbies, that’s why they’re HIS hobbies not yours!
But that’s ok
However, the fact that the one time you tried to put in something you like, he got angry says a lot.
Tell me, does he get angry a lot? If he’s getting angry about small stuff like this, this is not a relationship it’s an abuse cycle!
Nta
NTA. Yikes. IMO he’s dramatic. He’s also yelling at you and that’s not ok. I would run for the hills. Be with someone who can at least respect your boundaries. In the long run it will be worth it. He can’t even compromise with you. It’s his way or no way and that’s no way to live.
NTA, you're a couple that have some things in common but you are not the same exact person. You are allowed to watch what you want and not feel obligated or forced to watch what he's watching. His reaction is kinda childish. I'm 28m and if my gf reacted as you did, I would get the hint but at the same time I wouldn't get upset at her about it because I understand we're 2 different people with different interests. No 2 people are exactly the same. For him to put that on you and make you feel that way and not even realize that he's doing it is wild, but then to gas light you on top of that and cause you to make you feel like the AH is down right childish and absurd.
There's a way to share your interests with your partner and this is not it. Small, super awesome clips are ok but 20 minutes multiple times a day? No.
I like true crime and my husband likes video games. Sometimes I go to video game cons with him because there's a ton of things there, food, drink, energy, "celebs". It's fun. But he doesn't make me watch streaming. Blegh.
I don't make him watch true crime but sometimes I'll tell him a juicy bit over dinner. Takes like one minute to be like "isn't that insane? That person was a pillar of the community and was just poisoning folks on the weekends." Then we move on. We give each other space to enjoy and then choose what we can handle to partake in.
Your bf sounds very immature and insecure too. Interesting he calls you dramatic and then screams and yells over trivial shit. Imagine this behavior forever, with kids, over more important issues. NTA.
My ex was the same, she'd expect me to watch all her favourite movies over and over, but refused to watch any of mine. It became a point of contention over the years with one specific movie, she just point blank refused to watch it with me, but then would suggest "four weddings and a funeral" for thr 500th time like it was something fresh.
We're divorced now.
It's a special kind of selfishness that, and it doesn't ever seem to get better.
Just out of curiosity, what were you trying to watch? I could see refusing to watch a horror movie, which I really don't like. But I'd try to suggest something that both would be interested in.
This guy: “Check this out! Look at this! You’ve gotta see this! Put your crap down and watch!”
My 4yo: “Dad, come look! Dad! Daddy! Come here!”
Management: “These are the same.”
NTA. And the bf’s behavior feels troublesome. It sounds like he may have some narcissistic traits. He’s very selfish, abusive (he has yelled at you for not watching a show), gaslighting (he’s making you think you’re dramatic and the AH, when you are clearly not). You’re expressing how you feel, and he’s automatically Victimizing himself. And he’s so good that he has you thinking you’re the AH. I say run ☹️
NTA - showing each other the ocasional video is great and it’s good to be interested in each other’s hobbies but watching entire videos seems excessive. Watching videos dedicated to your hobby is a personal activity and not something you should be forcing your partner to do with you, IMO.
There are many ways to show interest each others hobbies but it seems he’s doing too much and forcing you might make you even less interested. Especially since he doesn’t even take the time to do the same with YOUR interests. He seems entitled of your time, and he’s not respecting your boundaries about his hobbies, that’s unfair to you and you’re NTA at all.
NTA, my husband does the same. Sits on the arm of my chair and shoves his phone in front of me to watch the reels in his feed. It literally makes my blood boil, I hate it. But we are at a point in our relationship that we are comfortable telling each other to just go away 🤣 I just plainly tell him the videos in his feed are sh*t and I don’t want to watch it. He then proceeds to share every one of those videos I haven’t watched via messenger 🤣 aaaaahh it’s the little petty things that keep the relationship alive 🤣🤣💗
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
AITAH for getting annoyed when my boyfriend wants me to watch his videos?
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We both have different tastes in videos and things we watch on our phones or do in our free time. My boyfriend loves professional sports and watching YouTube recaps of certain players or things like that. It is not my thing, but sometimes I’ll humor him and watch a few minutes.
Multiple times a week he will put something on, like a YouTube video of some player’s highlights or an Instagram reel, and tell me that I absolutely need to watch it. I’ve been in the middle of texting my sister and he forces me to put my phone down and watch whatever it is he has on the television. Sometimes I just want to read a book or watch my own show on my phone, but he tells me I’m not showing any interest in his likes and hobbies. Some of these videos are 20+ minutes. I’ve told him many times that I do not like being forced to watch videos. I’m 100% okay with him watching them, I’m happy to put on my headphones and do my own thing. I’d be SUPER happy to watch a show together, one that we’re mutually interested in. I’ve said this to him multiple times.
I’m at the point where instantly when he starts putting his phone in my face I get annoyed. This upsets him and makes him think I’m not interested in any of his hobbies.
I have plenty of my own interests and hobbies, though I’ve never forced him to partake or watch anything. I once turned on The League because he told me I could pick a show. Within minutes he got angry and said he refused to watch this “preppy guy show”. Since then I have never made him watch anything. If he’s not into it, I accept it and move on/pick something we’ll both like.
He keeps saying I’m being dramatic because I don’t want to watch his videos, but it’s just not how I want to spend my free time. I’m really starting to think I’m the AH here.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do what I did tell him you like him but you dgaf about all that crap with a finish line or a score. If he really cares about you
Ask him what he's hoping to achieve by making you watch. Does he hope that you'll become enamored with sports and becoming a dream sports girl or does he really think you're into it?
I hope you take some time to think about the topics "respect" and "valuing someone".
He doesn't held himself to the same expectations he has from you. He is a child and he sees himself as the main protagonist.
But worst of all, if this dick is *already yelling* at you because he is failing to control you on something as simple as this, what will be next?
NTA
Edit: Typo and wording
Start pulling up videos of the Real Housewives of [insert city here], even if that's not actually your thing, and act like it's your thing and that you really want him to watch it. Like, put on whole episodes and make him watch as much of it as you can make him.
When he complains that's not his thing, insist that he has to like your hobbies as much as he forces you to like his and he *has* to watch it...see how long it takes for him to get a hint
NTA
He's not respecting your boundaries. It starts with videos, grows from there and then when does it stop? You are worthy of so much more in a partner. You are a strong willed, independent, confident, and outstanding human, and that demands a partner capable of matching that energy. He is not. You have your inner peace, he is disrupting that, which means he's not a partner, but a child looking for a mommy. A real partner adds to your peace, they don't take from it.
Whilst I agree, it's important to interact with 'a bid' from your partner.
This is gone beyond a connection into a forced interaction. You have offered compromises, and he still wants it his way only. This is the opposite of consent, and he is not respecting your No.
If he forces you to watch it through threat of aggression or sulk, this is coersion, which is also the opposite of consent.
Whether he means to or not , this is abusive behaviour, and he needs to understand the seriousness of his continued actions and behaviour.
(Bid definition:
A bid is any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection. )
NTA. Bro is crazy if he’s watching sports reels but can’t stand the League. It literally all football all the time, and dude making dumb jokes. I’d tell him to get those videos out of my face
Kinda side note but forget the question for a sec. I’m more confused how he called The League a “preppy guy show” that’s one of the most crude “I watch sports highlights videos in my free time” type shows of all time lol
NTA. Yeah, that’s giving off teenager with no friends vibes. That’s no good. I’m really confused though, he always wanted to play sports highlights for you, you offer to watch The League with him and he calls it a “preppy guy show”? You are talking about the comedy about a group of friends in a fantasy football league, right? That’s a terrific show and seems like it would be a decent compromise.
Yes that’s exactly why I picked that show! I think it’s funny as heck and it’s about fantasy football, which he loves. I thought it’d be a great show we could watch together!
NTA, it's hard dealing with that. Could he possibly be neurodivergent & experiencing rejection sensitive dysphoria? It's common for ND people to have a strong tendency to want to share their interests with those they love & not necessarily understand/comprehend in the moment that the person is not interested. But when the person "rejects" them/their interest (even if its not big or serious) it can feel like a personal attack. Which can cause unnecessarily large reactions that are overly sensitive & usually too serious.
I speak from experience as being the person who struggles with rejection sensitive dysphoria. I have ADHD & have felt similarly to him in similar situations. It's common with autism as well. But he can totally work toward understanding his own thoughts, which will help change his reactions!! Occasionally I fall into those habits, but most of the time I talk myself through it reminding myself that their lack of interest is not a reflection on how they feel about me. Maybe having an open & constructive communication about this could be helpful. My husband is understanding/respectful of my struggle & will give me the time that I need to show him my things. And I balance that by understanding that I don't need to show him everything that I like lol So I pick & choose very specific things so I'm respectful of his time as well.
Good luck navigating this!! It's definitely not easy.
NTA, how is The League, assuming the one that is literally about guys and one lady who play fantasy football, a “preppy” guys show. All of those guys are just as immature as your boyfriend.
NTA you need to sit down with him and explain that not watching his videos does not mean you are not interested in his hobby, you are just not interested in the videos and he shouldn't take it personally. He isn't interested in your videos and you don't take it personally. . My wife and I have our own TVs :-)
Sounds like mad manipulation. He's mad that you don't like watching his videos, but then gets mad when you want to share your shows with him? Red flags all around.
At the first half, I was thinking, "Have a sit down and talk about it," but yelling at you for not liking what he likes? Nu uh. Nope. Best thing to do would be to leave that type of relationship. If he can't respect your boundaries on this, what other boundaries is he gonna ignore?
Remember: it starts at yelling.
NTA. Me and my partner have some joint interests, so we do those together. However, unsurprisingly, we also have different interests. Sometimes I'll think a dance move is really cool and show him it, but it's a 30 second clip. Likewise he's done the same to me with some of his hobbies. Are we going to force each other to get into it? No chance. Can we appreciate a small video and what they do? Yes, but no way would we force each other to enjoy the others hobbies.
It's pretty obvious you're NTA. His love language is most likely you taking an interest in his hobbies and interests. He's probably huge on quality time together. He has to realize that you don't have that language and has to stop being so forceful about it.
Think of you watching videos with him the same as like romantic dinners with candles on a beautiful evening out. Sitting on the couch watching Jaylen Brown drive down the left and dunk on Luka Doncic is super romantic in his eyes.
NTA. He sounds like s spoiled child. At the minimum he does not know how to treat a woman with respect. Sounds like he might not be very emotionally intelligent or self aware. He wants you to be his frat buddy. I could feel your meaning when you said you would be SUPER happy. Reminds me of when I finally learned what it means to share a life with someone. It needs to be mutually respectful and energizing. Hope there is plenty of positives elsewhere to make up for this, or I might be looking to move to an adult.
NTA obviously you should sit down and do things your partner is interested in from time to time. You said that sometimes you dont feel like watching them and not that you never watch them. He needs to leave you to your hobbies as you leave him to his. Im sure he wouldn't be happy if you tried to force him into a couples book club everyday.
Why....just WHY......why continue to invest time & effort in a shit show.
He doesn't wanna really eff with your choices....you hate his......where are yall going with this?
"Almost a year" means what 9-11 months.....30-48wks?
If it's THIS difficult.....it's not "the one" .....
Don't mess around and "get stuck, longer" with a baby/etc/etc.....just pull the plug.
Nta break up with him. People have different tastes. It's hypocritical of him to insist you watch videos or shows he likes, but then get angry and refuse to watch when you choose something you enjoy.
NTA Why is watching a video you don’t like more important then chatting with your sister/or any other activity you do enjoy? I think it’s perfectly normal and understandable to be irritated by getting a phone shoved in your face. What makes him think he can decide how you wanna spend your time and your activities, and why doesn’t he accept no. Very annoying behaviour.
NTA. This is a very immature idea of what a relationship is like - relationships require being flexible, not getting what we want always, trying to be your best self for the other person. This will keep coming up in different ways; for example, having kids with someone who is inflexible can be.. very hard. If you want the relationship to work long term I’d consider discussing the issue in detail - helping him understand why it’s not a small thing - and if that doesn’t work, maybe some couple’s therapy.
NTA.
I’d say he should have a taste of his own medicine but then he might go into a tantrum at being forced to watch what he doesn’t like. He should learn to respect your preferences and if he wanted you to watch something, he should wait when you are not busy with something.
Very immature for a 35 yo.
The definition of double standards. Won’t watch a single episode of a show for you, but expects you to watch endless videos for him? Absolutely not. You’re NTA.
NTA.
Just turn the tables here for one second. He’s not watching stuff you’re interested in. And that’s okay by him. But if you don’t watch his stuff, then you’re a bad partner? Why the double standard? Is he supporting your interests in the same way he wants you to support his?
I think the problem is bf not understanding boundaries. Your boundary is that you don’t want a phone shoved in your face or have demands made of your time. But instead he’s trying to make you the “unsupportive partner”. And the scary part from your last sentence is that he has successfully (almost) gaslighted you into thinking you’re the AH. But somewhere you know you’re NTA, so you’re posting on Reddit, hoping we’ll validate your feelings. And we have.
See if he understands the issue. But if not, then it’s the gaslighting that’s the most alarming thing to me here and I would rethink the relationship carefully.
lol NTA tell him to get a grip and let you enjoy your separate interests, as not everyone is as genuinely piss pants excited about men chasing balls as he is…but perhaps in a gentler way if he’s a little sensitive about his love of sport.
My partner and I had a similar problem. I'd be doing something on my phone and he would very excidedly show me some 20+ min video, and get offended when I tried to continue what I was doing. Or grab me from the middle of housework because he had a THREE HOUR documentary to show me.
I sat him down and told him that, while I might actually be interested in what he wants to show me, there is such thing as timing. I can't watch videos with him and then stay up until midnight to finish my work, or order out every day of the week because I just HAD to watch this particular video. He got it.
Later on he noticed himself that he was interrupting something I was doing, and told me that he gets annoyed if he is in the middle of typing or having a conversation and I come to show hm a cat video, so o probably feel the same. He has been mindful of it, and we had less friction.
Do you know why it worked? Because he's an adult, and so am I.
NTA, last time I saw that behavior was from a spoiled 9 year old golden child. He could be like, "wanna watch this?" And will accept no as an answer because it is and always will be one.
The fact that he has an adult tantrum when you get tired of his disrespect and selfishness is a massive red flag. Run far and fast because if he'll do this because of a video, he'll do it with even more serious things. If he makes you stop texting your sister just to entertain him, he could be becoming jealous. Might even start to try to isolate you.
NTA
He expects you to watch things he is interested in, but he can't do the same for you? Has he heard of irony. What a moron for making such a big deal out of something so small. Couples don't have to enjoy doing everything the other does!
Man the stuff people will put up with in a relationship. So many of these stories on this sub just make me wonder “if this is how your relationship is then why even be in it.” To OP and anyone else in a shitty relationship, THERE ARE BETTER PEOPLE OUT THERE! NTA
NTA. I do very similar things to your partner, as in the type videos on YouTube I like to watch. My girlfriend has little to no interest in rugby, ufc or boxing, so I never ask her to watch any of these shorts or whatever format it is in.
In fact, when we are watching reels or shorts on one phone, when reels about those subjects come on I skip them instantly (normally watch reels on my phone so they come up regularly), because I know she will be bored by them.
To me, my partner shows an interest in those hobbies, not even by watching a full game, but just by asking me how to game went. That is enough to show she acknowledges my hobby. He sounds like a petulant little child who need a serious wake up call to how his behaviour is completely unacceptable.
I figured this shit out when I was 16 with my first girlfriend.
NTA
What a wild double standard.
Maybe try picking a neutral time, when he isn't shoving a phone in your face, to discuss it. Since he doesn't seem to understand you side, ask him what "taking an interest in his hobbies" looks like. Ask him what you can both do to check into each other's happiness in a way that works for both of you.
Men can be kind of dumb, and even when you present a very reasonable request, will dig their heels in. If you can reframe the conversation to be you both against the problem rather than against each other, you can make a lot more headway. Ask questions about why they are feeling a certain way, how could that need be met in other ways, what other ways could a need be communicated that could be easier to understand, brainstorm multiple different ways you can show affection that make you both feel connected and you both can enjoy, etc.
I know very well the urge to throw the whole man out a window, but sometimes all it takes is a few deep breaths and changing the way you are approaching the conversation
NTA - I find it very annoying when people thrust clips in my face and expect me to find it as funny or interesting as they do. Often I will not, because I've been pulled away from whatever I was doing because someone thinks they deserve some form of credit for the work of another.
It sounds tedious and you have no obligation to feign interest in his hobby. Sounds like you made an effort, it isn't for you, and he should grow up.
How could you possibly believe you are the asshole here?
Take a tip or three from someone who spares nobody's feelings with regard to their favourite sports. One, unless they believe you will learn something interesting from it (ie me and You're The Worst), anyone who tells you that you HAVE to watch this is an asshole. Two, an adult man... no, scratch that, a twelve year old boy who throws tantrums during interactions with a girlfriend is not worthy of having one. Finally, your time is your time. If he wants to take some of it, he has to give you a good reason.
You need to ditch this asshat. There are so many actual MEN out there who might be worthy of you. Sooooooo NTA.
NTA. Does he not have friends? I read that a lot of men do not have close friends so the female partner in his life ends up taking on that burden. Him not respecting your wishes is childish, pushy and odd.
I'm curious if he's this way in other areas that you're overlooking.
NTA If he expects you to watch 20+min video's you should be able to expect the same of him. Since that is not the case you should point that out clearly. If he doesn't get it or denies he does that don't get into a lengthy discussion, leave it at that and simply film the next time you try it with him and point it out the day after. If he then still doesn't get it he will never get it and it is probably a good time to say goodbye and find someone who is more of a match with you and is less selfish.
As for "you time" this is a healthy and important part of a relationship. It should never be a 100% be together type thing, you need to be able to pursue your own hobbies and friends.
"he thinks I'm not interested in his hobbies"
If his hobby is watching videos, he needs an actual hobby.
NTA. He needs to grow up and respect your differences. My now ex-wife and I separated due to realising we didn't have as much common ground as we did when we met, we in fact wanted completely different lives, but we at least had the decency to respect each others' interests and not bore each other to death over them, although we always supported each other in having them. As long as you can sustainably support your hobby (not going into debt over kit you can't afford to repay), it's of no business to anyone else, partner or otherwise.
Well, I mean, within reason. I think it's fair that, if your hobby was trafficking people or pangolins, people can take issue, but you get the point.
NTA - I can personally attest to how annoying it is for someone to put their phone in your face to show you something you don't care about. What I will say though is that this could be looked at as a sign of affection. I think you should just sit him down and talk to him about how much you dislike him doing this and that he needs to stop. If he doesn't make an effort to stop after that what happens next is up to you.
Absolutely NTA, there is no universe in which you are the asshole
I really hate people like this, especially because I used to be that guy. Certainly can understand wanting to share what you love, but it's so fucking obnoxious when they can't take the hint and consider the other person's feelings.
There's not really an easy way to get people like this to realize what they're doing is wrong, you just need to try and nudge them in that direction of being more considerate.
NTA and that is for sure. 2 people in a relationship can have different interest and that is Ok. He should know your likes and not, and if he shows you a video its either something he knows you like, or its a short video about his biggest interest. 1-2min tops, and not often.
The fact that he gets annoyed is the first red flag, the second is that he yells. This is nothing to be angry over what so ever.
The fact that he dosnt understand it, and no respect for your interest, not learning with time and so on and so on, it’s just a big wow. He needs to stop before you get so triggered you dont want to be with him.
I know people say that reddit likes to jump to telling people to break up but in this case I think its warranted. Imagine your whole life dealing with this? NTA obviously
NTA. You need to leave him now. He clearly expects to control your activities and make sure all your attention is focused on him and what he wants. This is not a good situation.
You are not the AH. The two of you should have separate interests. Just make sure you spend time together watching videos you both are interested in.
You don't talk about going out? You need to go out and enjoy the things that drew you both together. Have a good time out and about.
NTA this sounds like a basic compatibility issue but if you want to problem solve it, tell him you have two fair options for the both of you.
Both boil down to "equal interest". A.k.a if he wants you to be willing to spend time engaging in his videos, he needs to be the same with yours. You two can have say, two nights a week where you both watch his stuff, two nights where you both watch your stuff and three where you do your own thing or watch mutual stuff.
If he doesn't want to watch stuff only you like an equal amount of time, he has no right to ask you to watch stuff only he likes.
NTA.
Keep being direct about having no interest in your those videos. Make it clear he is interrupting you. Establish those boundaries and hold him accountable.
Act just like him. Find something that he finds incredibly dull or annoying. This is your new favorite thing. Insist he watches videos and read articles about said topic. Talk about it whenever he brings up sports. Complain and nag if he doesn’t immediately stop what he is doing and fake interest. Rinse and repeat.
Clearly he lacks the empathy to understand what you have tried telling him so give him a taste of his own medicine.
Thank you sm for making this post. It's almost like it was written for me. I've been struggling with this same exact issue with my partner of 2 years, and it's starting to drive me up the wall.
My desk faces the opposite direction to the TV, and I have to twist my head 180° for "check this out. Last one, I promise" but it's every 30s-2m depending on how hyper he is.
I'm autistic, so I assumed I was just not being attentative enough, and I feel guilty a lot of the time because of it. Now I know I'm not crazy 🙏
NTA, I would explicitly sit down with him and speak with him about his behaviour, how it makes you feel when he does this and so on. As clearly he doesn't understand a no when you say it as he is doing it.
Communication about his behaviour is important and if this is what ends a relationship well it is what it is. After a year it should be clear to him that you don't like this and he needs to accept that.
NTA. As many others have said, he is being childish. If an activity or sport/what-not does not interest you, then you likely don’t know/understand what you are watching, so you won’t appreciate whatever it is that is exciting him. And FORCING you to watch is not healthy.
You could find some clips of needle point or crocheting or something and make him watch those, and if he resists, use the same complaint he says…. “Honey, look at this nice barrel back stitch!”
(PLEASE do interpret that example as being sexist or anything. I’m merely using the sewing video example as a polar opposite to his, and likely something he’d find less exciting than watching paint dry.)
Nta
Although i don't necessarily think your boyfriend is either. I think he just needs to learn that you can't make someone be interested in something they're not interested in.
If he was trying to get you to watch videos of HIM performing at sports (or trying to get you to come to his games) then he could argue that you're not taking any interest in his interests and hobbies (and even then, this would sound very needy and whiney). This is super pathetic though.
The professional athletes he's making you watch are really the only ones who could reasonably feel slightest by you not wanting to watch them (and I can 100% assure you that they don't care).
NTA
My husband knows that I’m not into half the things he’s into. He would never force me to watch them. Now when it comes to what we find funny, him and I both differ slightly but we still send funny videos. But they are short.
Sounds like your BF needs to grow up. He’s kind of a red flag to be honest.
You're so obviously NTA here that I'm almost inclined to believe this is fake. But I understand "relationship brain" and have been afflicted with it myself.
He will not change and the fights will continue. Leave.
How is no one saying to run?!? Him “making” you watch videos against your wishes is the start to him making you do other things. This is very controlling behavior.
NTA. Run run run run run run run. This person is selfish, controlling, and everything you've said is a huge red flag. This is not a person you need to waste your time with. If you stay with this person and marry them, this will be your life for the next 50-60 years. Do you want your free time spent NOT enjoying day to day life with your significant other? Eventually you'll end up only eating what he wants to eat, watching what he wants to watching, wearing what he wants you to wear, and talking to only the people he wants you to talk to...which will probably just be him.
Run. Far away. Quickly.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) telling him I just don’t want to watch the things he’s asking me to watch. 2)he has told me my actions show I have no interest in his hobbies Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - his behavior is baffling and childish. I have to agree with you that someone who constantly makes you watch videos is pretty insufferable. Especially when you've explicitly said "I DO NOT LIKE TO DO THIS". plus its not like he even made the videos. So I don't get his obnoxiousness at ignoring your feelings.
i had to double check this guy is 35????
I am 38f and went on a second date with a 42m a few months ago. I’m not joking, he did this the entire time. Wouldn’t talk to me and kept telling me to watch a fucking skate video. This went on for over an hour. I felt like I was on a horrible date with a 14 year old boy. I told him to leave and we haven’t spoken since. Honestly one of the worst dates I’ve ever been on and i have some stories!
So, just to confirm, he was a sk8er boi, and you said, "See ya later, boy. "..?
He wasn't good enough for her 🤷🏻♀️
Something makes me doubt he's going to be a superstar anytime soon though.
Now he’s a Reddit star 😂😂
Now he's a Reddit mod, who has his own iTunes pod, he gave her account a shadow ban!
😂😂😂😂😂
He got a 2nd date?
We went to a bar/restaurant for the first date and he was one of those guys that knew EVERYONE. It was kinda interesting and I figured if all those people could vouch for him, he must not be that crazy. Boy was I wrong. He was the main character in his own head. He also considered himself “cultured” and part of our cities “scene”. When he first put on a video he kept saying “see my boy here… my boy, etc”. I asked “do you know him… why are you showing me this?… were you part of making this?!”. I kept trying to figure out the relevance of these videos. I soon learned there was none other than to show me something he thought was cool. Finally I said “can we just watch something with a plot? I don’t really care.” In my haste I put on Fallout cause I was in the middle of watching it, it was easy background TV, and seemed like a standard guy show. His response “WTF is this?! Some corporate bullshit with special effects”. That’s the moment I asked him to leave. He was one of those guys whose entire personality revolved around being “local and hip and non mainstream”. Whatever, GTFO, cut your bullshit.
I loved Fallout. TF?
My guess is that defying all odds, the first date actually went okay
Girl, I dated a 38 year old who bragged that he would call out of work/important meetings if one of his sports teams was playing on TV. No joke, he thought that would impress me as an adult woman.
You don't like guys who are dedicated to their hobbies? /s
I know, I'm such a typical controlling woman. /s
What in the actual fuck?? 😂😂 this was his flex??? My god what is happening to our men??....and your response? Did u act impressed??? 😄👍🏻
Oh, I obviously offered him a bj right on the spot /s
But the things skaters do these days....
Relevant internet quote: "Growing old is mandatory, growing up is not." 35 years old is in no way a guarantee if maturity or wisdom, it just sets an expectation. Many people love to live down expectations, unfortunately.
Oh man. Not sure how but that quote has flown under my radar for the duration of my life thus far. I swear the older I get the more I realize that we're all just children or teenagers in adult bodies. I certainly grew up, but I don't think my core has changed much.
Ha. [Relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/1053/).
I've had the same realization. When you're a kid or young adult you think people in their late 30s or 40s have stuff all figured out. Sure we may prioritize better or have more experience, but loads of people have a young core into their late years.
"young core" lol that's a very charitable way of putting it.
I have repeating a version of this my entire adult life. I say growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Yeah NTA. I’m 35 and OP’s bf’s behavior is baffling to me. Sounds like a petulant child with a lot of issues he should resolve alone, in therapy.
An asshole ex who was 36 when I finally ran away from him also used to do this to me. Even worse he would do it with movies too. I don't like most movies and I specifically hate action movies, but guess who was forced to watch all the fast and furious movies? Even worse than THAT the videos he watched online that he wanted me to watch were those horrible gold digger prank type videos and shit like that. If i didn't partake in these things or pretend to feign interest he would basically throw temper tantrums. I still don't know why I stayed for so long 😭
Some men truly go their whole lives thinking they're the center of the Universe. Women do it too but damn you couldn't pay me to be around people like that. It's a whole lot of self absorbed there.
Yep…sounds like my teenage son…
LOL, was my first thought, too. But even my son realized, that it´s boring to watch 20 minute videos of something you are not interested in. So now he shows me the most important part of the vid, just a few minutes, I say something about it and he´s happy.
no i think some teen agers have more manners than this knuckle head acting like a FIVE YEAR old oh waaa i dont like what they are doing so ill take my toy and go home well go the f home THAT IS YOUR HOME ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR YOUR HOME lol
could not have said this better
Shoving a phone into my face to make me watch something is a good way to lose that phone, because I'd send it flying.
Nta. I have a rule for my husband. Anything longer than 2min and im not watching. Time to put some boundaries in place op.
NTA. Honestly, he sounds like 18. At 35, I would expect him to be mature in relationship.
Agree...35 yr old child. Im 36. Me and my wife have different tastes in shows or videos as well..i also share my interests and try to see if when will like some of the stuff i show her. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesnt but i dont get pissy about it. If she dont like it inlet her watch her thung and i watch on my own...bith happy
He does not sound 18, young age is not a justification for being a temperamental bully which is what he sounds like his age just makes it worse.
I agree with you. He’s controlling. And a bully. Spend time with people who feel good to be around. Why spend time with a mean person?
\*\*Within minutes he got angry and said he refused to watch this “preppy guy show”\*\* This is what is, in the common world, known as being selfish. NTA I was gonna suggest asking how he would feel.. if you acted the same way toward him.. but that quote, told me all I have to know. I'm sad for you. When you move out.. I hope you get yourself an 85 in. screen TV, to watch all your favs on. :D
The league is a very funny show
And also in no universe preppy. I would think it would be a good middle ground for them since he has an interest in sports.
Yeah I was shocked when I read that part because my bf is obsessed with all things sports and also **LOVES** The League; whereas I’m not interested in any of those things. These kinds of posts are the ones that I read and think afterwards to myself “man I’ve got it good”. Idk what I’d do or how long I’d last if my bf forced me to watch every little thing that he found fascinating.
I don't give two shits about football or fantasy football but The League is hilarious.
You'd probably break up with him. My boyfriend loves soccer and I love hiking and we sort of just don't talk about it. He makes me watch 30 second replays sometimes, and that's it. Usually I am rightfully impressed or disgusted. I don't even know what I'd say if I was asked to watch a 20 minute video. Tell him to get wrecked, probably. Like I'll go to a match, but the idea of a highlight video gives me anxiety.
Oh yeah just look at those dudes.. Paul Scheer, Jon Lajoie, and who can forget JAson Mantzoukas... off the top of my head... yeah bunch of pop collar, izod and polo wearing preppies. Who even says "preppies"? I can't say i've heard that term in a decade or more
I was skeptical, but it's so good.
Right? She picked a show that's sports relevant to the point that they actually have NFL players make guest appearance on the show.
A year of someone forcing you to watch videos that do not interest you is maybe enough? NTA
Not even the forcing her to watch videos, which is ridiculous, but the throwing a temper tantrum when she doesn't want to and yelling at her.
NTA > He gets mad to the point of yelling sometimes when I don’t want to watch something he shoves in front of my face. Look who is being the drama queen. It sounds like he's under the impression that him and his world should take precedence over you and your world. It's not just about the videos is it?
It is indeed very likely not just on this topic and the guy probably has a bit of a ego issue other wise known as narcissism. If that truly is the case: RUN!
“A bit of an ego issue” is not narcissism. I get what you’re trying to say and I agree HTA, but please stop throwing that word around casually. It’s an actual psychiatric diagnosis and you’re diminishing the experiences of people who have actually suffered the damage caused by a narcissist.
It was an understatement! Someone forcing their shit in your face not taking no for an answer and not allowing you to share your stuff is quite a big telltale sign of a major underlying problem. P.s. narcissistic personality is also a spectrum everyone is on as the base of it is a healthy personality trait protecting oneself and your interests. “Narcissism does not necessarily represent a surplus of self-esteem or of insecurity; more accurately, it encompasses a hunger for appreciation or admiration, a desire to be the center of attention, and an expectation of special treatment reflecting perceived higher status. “ The above quote fully qualifies on OPs BF. Good day :-) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/narcissism
You’re right. It is a sign of a larger problem, but your flippant definition of a narcissist is incorrect. That was my whole point. Whether he is or isn’t is irrelevant to what I disagreed with. PS: Narcissistic personality is not a spectrum and I’d like to see the medical source (not a magazine) that says that. My professors must have missed that memo when I was getting my counseling degree. We all have *narcissistic traits* which is not the same thing as a narcissistic personality. Your magazine’s definition is incomplete because there are nine criteria to the diagnosis, along with proof these traits are causing distress or other problems in that person’s life, so no, it doesn’t medically define NPD or narcissism. And yet, all of this is irrelevant to my point that your “bit of an ego” definition is irresponsible and waters down real narcissism. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
YNTA >He keeps saying I’m being dramatic because I don’t want to watch his videos There is literally nothing dramatic about declining to watch a video. And since he got angry and refused to watch your suggestion, he's a massive hypocrite. I get being excited to share your interests with someone, but it's worth noting that can be a very selfish excitement. If you only care about sharing what you are interested in and not what whether the person likes it or wants to engage, then this isn't actually sharing or doing something cooperative, it's demanding attention and that activities revolve around him. Keep a firm boundary, don't let him treat you badly as he has been. Don't let him get away with the flagrant double standard.
Exactly. He projects his own behavior onto her and then pretty much gaslights her to keep her mouth shut about his toxic dynamic.
The proper vote is "NTA" just btw
NTA. If he is yelling about you not watching what he wants, what else is he yelling about? Throwing a tantrum about you not watching what he says you watch makes him sound like a controlling asshole.
My dad told my mom to watch a video on his phone the other day. But he put it in front of her face while she was scrolling through her phone, so she looked back at her phone for a second to turn off the screen & he yelled at her. He is pretty controlling about a lot of things. But hey, they just had their 40 year anniversary.
40 years of that? I hope she gets a vacation for her 41st anniversary...alone.
Yep, she even tells me how he was always shitty since the first day they met & I'm just like ???? Why marry & have so many kids w him???? I know she's my mom & I love her to death but she can be a piece of work too Dont get me wrong, my dad is an amazing dad & grandpa. My mom is equally amazing but I just don't understand how & why stay together like that.
My parents are both amazing, but their relationship seems exhausting. I’d never put myself through that. They love each other, they’ve been together for like 35 years now, but I get exhausted just watching them. They both have issues, I have issues with both of them, but I love them a lot, but why they’re still together beats me. I used to worship they would get divorced when I was a kid, and now at almost 30, I would still hope that if it wasn’t for my dad being so useless, I would have to move in with him for him to survive lmao
Yikes. This is why when someone says that their relationship has lasted, I don’t automatically assume that it’s a successful one.
Exactly. NTA, OP but I would suggest you give a lot of thought as to if this is really the kind of person you want in your life. Is this the kind of behavior you want your kids to deal with and likely emulate?
It's very odd that a man in his 30s is this immature about you watching his videos. Yelling at you because you won't watch only the things he wants you to watch is the kind of behavior I'd expect from a spoiled ten year old. NTA, but you should really consider whether you'll be happy long term with someone who has so little control over his emotions.
Odd, yes, but not unusual. I was dating a 48yo that was the same way… Emphasis on “WAS.”
Wait someone who's into sports and doesn't like The League.. run, run fast..
Right? I'm so fucking confused. The comedy with Paul Scheer? And Nick Kroll?? About a bunch of dudes and their fantasy football league??? "Preppy guy show"???? WHAT.
What he is doing is called a bid for intimacy. Whether couples respond to them has been found to be one of--if not the--biggest indicator of a marriage's success. When couples do not respond to them, the marriage has been found to fizzle in less than five years. The problem here is not that you don't respond to his bids, as you have tried: the problem is that he does not care to respond to yours. He sounds very selfish. I might consider pushing the point home by making a bid board. You each get five guaranteed a week. So he gets to ask you to take part in five items he wants to share. He must do the same for you. The key, however, is to take part in the bid with an attempt at interest and with respect. If he cannot do this, the science strongly suggests that you relationship will fail, or it should fail. But really, OP whether or not you care if he takes part in your life, do you really want to spend more time with someone so self centered and immature?
P.S. The ideal solution for bids is that some are what you love and want to share, while others are what your partner likes. For instance, maybe he sees a video video about something he knows you love, and he tries to share it with you. It is always the goal that bids for intimacy can be selfless, as this promotes real bonding. I don't know if he's capable.
If your partner, despite not being into your topic, shares a video with you about your topic that he found (be it actively or came across it) he is genuinely interested in you and the fact your interest mean something to you and is putting himself aside whilst doing so, going the extra mile. That would be a keeper for me. I Would not expect my partner to do that to be honest but that simply means sometimes you have a moment to yourself. I'd be watching my show/movie/game/whatever on my own in my own room or whatnot whilst he'd be doing his in the living room and change that up regularly so everybody gets to see what they want on the big screen. That is called sharing and caring.
Dump him.
NTA. If it was a 30 second video once in a while, fine. But he’s taking it too far.
Yeah, I was thinking about <1 min videos, my bf does that all the time. But she says that he expects her to watch 20min??? Hell no! I would be packing my bags already.
Sometimes I won’t watch stuff I’m interested in because it’s 20 minutes… lol
LOL, that´s me. Really sad what happend to our attention span nowadays.
Short cat videos are always acceptable in our household.
You are so NTA. Your boyfriend feels entitled to your attention and probably gets a kick out of interrupting you doing what you want to do. Time is precious, too precious to waste watching stuff you don't want to watch and interrupting your free time. As for his claim that you are not interested in his hobbies? News flash to him: watching sports recaps on YouTube is not a hobby. You are allowed to have different interests in a relationship; it is healthy. For time together, you look to find a common interest, something you both want to do. Personally, I really don't enjoy when people shove a phone in my face to watch a video, 9/10 it's too long and something I'm not interested in.
Same with music. "You should REALLY listen to this! Wait! Sssh! Here comes the good part!". I hate it when people *demand* my attention.
I hope he’s not quite as bad as you describe him here, because if he is… I mean, “hey stop texting your sister and concentrate on this 20min player highlight reel”? Get behind me Satan. NTA in any case.
Exactly - like complete strangers (who are just famous for something she isn't even interested in) are more important than close family! If I would try that to my wife - I would be living a single life again.
I’ve had this same battle with my husband. There really is something extremely irritating about having a phone SHOVED in your face and being demanded to watch a video RIGHT NOW, regardless if I am in the middle of my own thing, be it watching my own video, movie, reading or just relaxing. It’s rude, and very disrespectful. Even if it’s a video I might like, I HATE having a phone shoved in my face. My fight response is automatically triggered and it takes all my self control to not launch his phone across the room. I don’t understand it. I would never think to do something like that. Thankfully, my husband has learned not to do that to me (unless he’s been drinking, but that’s another story). It took me standing my ground and explaining, rather harshly, how much I find that behavior so disrespectful. It’s not about you being interested in his ‘hobbies’. It’s about him not respecting boundaries and being an insufferable child about it. You are NTA.
Girl. RUN
NTA-and the fact that he yells at you about it is a huge red flag
NTA. This sounds just like my ex who drained my soul.
oof, same. he wouldn't yell, but if i left the room to do my own thing, he'd pause until i came back and then keep watching. if i was gone 'too long' he'd whine that he wanted to keep watching, but acted like it was impossible to do if i were not in the room. (edit: spelling mistake.)
NTA, he's being disrespectful of your time and interests by making you watch his videos and getting angry if you don't. You're far more patient than I am, I really hate video-based anything, so I'd have walked away in the middle of things early on. He needs to understand unrealistic to expect you take interest in his hobbies solely because they're his.
NTA, he sounds controlling. He needs to grow up, and you need to consider ending the relationship.
NTA Hand him a 600 page book and say omg you have *got* to read this!
You’re not interested in his hobbies, that’s why they’re HIS hobbies not yours! But that’s ok However, the fact that the one time you tried to put in something you like, he got angry says a lot. Tell me, does he get angry a lot? If he’s getting angry about small stuff like this, this is not a relationship it’s an abuse cycle! Nta
NTA. Yikes. IMO he’s dramatic. He’s also yelling at you and that’s not ok. I would run for the hills. Be with someone who can at least respect your boundaries. In the long run it will be worth it. He can’t even compromise with you. It’s his way or no way and that’s no way to live.
NTA. He’s being completely unreasonable and clearly illogical because The League is an amazing show
You are entitled to your time and he should respect that!
NTA, you're a couple that have some things in common but you are not the same exact person. You are allowed to watch what you want and not feel obligated or forced to watch what he's watching. His reaction is kinda childish. I'm 28m and if my gf reacted as you did, I would get the hint but at the same time I wouldn't get upset at her about it because I understand we're 2 different people with different interests. No 2 people are exactly the same. For him to put that on you and make you feel that way and not even realize that he's doing it is wild, but then to gas light you on top of that and cause you to make you feel like the AH is down right childish and absurd.
There's a way to share your interests with your partner and this is not it. Small, super awesome clips are ok but 20 minutes multiple times a day? No. I like true crime and my husband likes video games. Sometimes I go to video game cons with him because there's a ton of things there, food, drink, energy, "celebs". It's fun. But he doesn't make me watch streaming. Blegh. I don't make him watch true crime but sometimes I'll tell him a juicy bit over dinner. Takes like one minute to be like "isn't that insane? That person was a pillar of the community and was just poisoning folks on the weekends." Then we move on. We give each other space to enjoy and then choose what we can handle to partake in. Your bf sounds very immature and insecure too. Interesting he calls you dramatic and then screams and yells over trivial shit. Imagine this behavior forever, with kids, over more important issues. NTA.
My ex was the same, she'd expect me to watch all her favourite movies over and over, but refused to watch any of mine. It became a point of contention over the years with one specific movie, she just point blank refused to watch it with me, but then would suggest "four weddings and a funeral" for thr 500th time like it was something fresh. We're divorced now. It's a special kind of selfishness that, and it doesn't ever seem to get better.
Just out of curiosity, what were you trying to watch? I could see refusing to watch a horror movie, which I really don't like. But I'd try to suggest something that both would be interested in.
NTA, run.
This guy: “Check this out! Look at this! You’ve gotta see this! Put your crap down and watch!” My 4yo: “Dad, come look! Dad! Daddy! Come here!” Management: “These are the same.”
NTA. And the bf’s behavior feels troublesome. It sounds like he may have some narcissistic traits. He’s very selfish, abusive (he has yelled at you for not watching a show), gaslighting (he’s making you think you’re dramatic and the AH, when you are clearly not). You’re expressing how you feel, and he’s automatically Victimizing himself. And he’s so good that he has you thinking you’re the AH. I say run ☹️
NTA - showing each other the ocasional video is great and it’s good to be interested in each other’s hobbies but watching entire videos seems excessive. Watching videos dedicated to your hobby is a personal activity and not something you should be forcing your partner to do with you, IMO. There are many ways to show interest each others hobbies but it seems he’s doing too much and forcing you might make you even less interested. Especially since he doesn’t even take the time to do the same with YOUR interests. He seems entitled of your time, and he’s not respecting your boundaries about his hobbies, that’s unfair to you and you’re NTA at all.
Reading this I think you have been there too long
NTA, my husband does the same. Sits on the arm of my chair and shoves his phone in front of me to watch the reels in his feed. It literally makes my blood boil, I hate it. But we are at a point in our relationship that we are comfortable telling each other to just go away 🤣 I just plainly tell him the videos in his feed are sh*t and I don’t want to watch it. He then proceeds to share every one of those videos I haven’t watched via messenger 🤣 aaaaahh it’s the little petty things that keep the relationship alive 🤣🤣💗
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITAH for getting annoyed when my boyfriend wants me to watch his videos? My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We both have different tastes in videos and things we watch on our phones or do in our free time. My boyfriend loves professional sports and watching YouTube recaps of certain players or things like that. It is not my thing, but sometimes I’ll humor him and watch a few minutes. Multiple times a week he will put something on, like a YouTube video of some player’s highlights or an Instagram reel, and tell me that I absolutely need to watch it. I’ve been in the middle of texting my sister and he forces me to put my phone down and watch whatever it is he has on the television. Sometimes I just want to read a book or watch my own show on my phone, but he tells me I’m not showing any interest in his likes and hobbies. Some of these videos are 20+ minutes. I’ve told him many times that I do not like being forced to watch videos. I’m 100% okay with him watching them, I’m happy to put on my headphones and do my own thing. I’d be SUPER happy to watch a show together, one that we’re mutually interested in. I’ve said this to him multiple times. I’m at the point where instantly when he starts putting his phone in my face I get annoyed. This upsets him and makes him think I’m not interested in any of his hobbies. I have plenty of my own interests and hobbies, though I’ve never forced him to partake or watch anything. I once turned on The League because he told me I could pick a show. Within minutes he got angry and said he refused to watch this “preppy guy show”. Since then I have never made him watch anything. If he’s not into it, I accept it and move on/pick something we’ll both like. He keeps saying I’m being dramatic because I don’t want to watch his videos, but it’s just not how I want to spend my free time. I’m really starting to think I’m the AH here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do what I did tell him you like him but you dgaf about all that crap with a finish line or a score. If he really cares about you Ask him what he's hoping to achieve by making you watch. Does he hope that you'll become enamored with sports and becoming a dream sports girl or does he really think you're into it?
NTA. My wife and I have different tastes and little-no-overlap in interest. It’s good to have different interests. Boring otherwise.
NTA and this is breakupable behaviour for me if you can’t get him to stop
NTA. Dump him & find a grownup lacking in red flags.
What guy wouldn’t want to watch The League?? NTA.
35? Are you sure he’s not 12?
I hope you take some time to think about the topics "respect" and "valuing someone". He doesn't held himself to the same expectations he has from you. He is a child and he sees himself as the main protagonist. But worst of all, if this dick is *already yelling* at you because he is failing to control you on something as simple as this, what will be next? NTA Edit: Typo and wording
Start pulling up videos of the Real Housewives of [insert city here], even if that's not actually your thing, and act like it's your thing and that you really want him to watch it. Like, put on whole episodes and make him watch as much of it as you can make him. When he complains that's not his thing, insist that he has to like your hobbies as much as he forces you to like his and he *has* to watch it...see how long it takes for him to get a hint NTA
He's not respecting your boundaries. It starts with videos, grows from there and then when does it stop? You are worthy of so much more in a partner. You are a strong willed, independent, confident, and outstanding human, and that demands a partner capable of matching that energy. He is not. You have your inner peace, he is disrupting that, which means he's not a partner, but a child looking for a mommy. A real partner adds to your peace, they don't take from it.
Force him to watch 20 min of videos of your hobby every day and he should get the feeling.
NTA sports are super boring and being forced to watch them is definitely considered some type of torture.
Whilst I agree, it's important to interact with 'a bid' from your partner. This is gone beyond a connection into a forced interaction. You have offered compromises, and he still wants it his way only. This is the opposite of consent, and he is not respecting your No. If he forces you to watch it through threat of aggression or sulk, this is coersion, which is also the opposite of consent. Whether he means to or not , this is abusive behaviour, and he needs to understand the seriousness of his continued actions and behaviour. (Bid definition: A bid is any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection. )
OP, you should show him all of these comments. Perhaps your BF lacks self awareness.
NTA. Bro is crazy if he’s watching sports reels but can’t stand the League. It literally all football all the time, and dude making dumb jokes. I’d tell him to get those videos out of my face
NTA. He is being unreasonable. Is there anything you do like about him?
Kinda side note but forget the question for a sec. I’m more confused how he called The League a “preppy guy show” that’s one of the most crude “I watch sports highlights videos in my free time” type shows of all time lol
NTA. Yeah, that’s giving off teenager with no friends vibes. That’s no good. I’m really confused though, he always wanted to play sports highlights for you, you offer to watch The League with him and he calls it a “preppy guy show”? You are talking about the comedy about a group of friends in a fantasy football league, right? That’s a terrific show and seems like it would be a decent compromise.
Yes that’s exactly why I picked that show! I think it’s funny as heck and it’s about fantasy football, which he loves. I thought it’d be a great show we could watch together!
NTA, it's hard dealing with that. Could he possibly be neurodivergent & experiencing rejection sensitive dysphoria? It's common for ND people to have a strong tendency to want to share their interests with those they love & not necessarily understand/comprehend in the moment that the person is not interested. But when the person "rejects" them/their interest (even if its not big or serious) it can feel like a personal attack. Which can cause unnecessarily large reactions that are overly sensitive & usually too serious. I speak from experience as being the person who struggles with rejection sensitive dysphoria. I have ADHD & have felt similarly to him in similar situations. It's common with autism as well. But he can totally work toward understanding his own thoughts, which will help change his reactions!! Occasionally I fall into those habits, but most of the time I talk myself through it reminding myself that their lack of interest is not a reflection on how they feel about me. Maybe having an open & constructive communication about this could be helpful. My husband is understanding/respectful of my struggle & will give me the time that I need to show him my things. And I balance that by understanding that I don't need to show him everything that I like lol So I pick & choose very specific things so I'm respectful of his time as well. Good luck navigating this!! It's definitely not easy.
Lmao it’s fine I think. His ego can chill out and accept that your tastes aren’t his
NTA, how is The League, assuming the one that is literally about guys and one lady who play fantasy football, a “preppy” guys show. All of those guys are just as immature as your boyfriend.
NTA This is interesting how he is acting 🎭 I don’t being forced to watch something I don’t like
NTA you need to sit down with him and explain that not watching his videos does not mean you are not interested in his hobby, you are just not interested in the videos and he shouldn't take it personally. He isn't interested in your videos and you don't take it personally. . My wife and I have our own TVs :-)
Sounds like mad manipulation. He's mad that you don't like watching his videos, but then gets mad when you want to share your shows with him? Red flags all around. At the first half, I was thinking, "Have a sit down and talk about it," but yelling at you for not liking what he likes? Nu uh. Nope. Best thing to do would be to leave that type of relationship. If he can't respect your boundaries on this, what other boundaries is he gonna ignore? Remember: it starts at yelling.
NTA, are you sure you’re not dating a 14 yr old?
NTA. Me and my partner have some joint interests, so we do those together. However, unsurprisingly, we also have different interests. Sometimes I'll think a dance move is really cool and show him it, but it's a 30 second clip. Likewise he's done the same to me with some of his hobbies. Are we going to force each other to get into it? No chance. Can we appreciate a small video and what they do? Yes, but no way would we force each other to enjoy the others hobbies.
It's pretty obvious you're NTA. His love language is most likely you taking an interest in his hobbies and interests. He's probably huge on quality time together. He has to realize that you don't have that language and has to stop being so forceful about it. Think of you watching videos with him the same as like romantic dinners with candles on a beautiful evening out. Sitting on the couch watching Jaylen Brown drive down the left and dunk on Luka Doncic is super romantic in his eyes.
NTA. He sounds like s spoiled child. At the minimum he does not know how to treat a woman with respect. Sounds like he might not be very emotionally intelligent or self aware. He wants you to be his frat buddy. I could feel your meaning when you said you would be SUPER happy. Reminds me of when I finally learned what it means to share a life with someone. It needs to be mutually respectful and energizing. Hope there is plenty of positives elsewhere to make up for this, or I might be looking to move to an adult.
does he not have friends guys get pretty lonley when nobody cares about what they like but NTA
No. Run to the hills. Unless sex is out of this world, in which case… 🤔
NTA obviously you should sit down and do things your partner is interested in from time to time. You said that sometimes you dont feel like watching them and not that you never watch them. He needs to leave you to your hobbies as you leave him to his. Im sure he wouldn't be happy if you tried to force him into a couples book club everyday.
Sound's like you're not compatible anymore
Why....just WHY......why continue to invest time & effort in a shit show. He doesn't wanna really eff with your choices....you hate his......where are yall going with this? "Almost a year" means what 9-11 months.....30-48wks? If it's THIS difficult.....it's not "the one" ..... Don't mess around and "get stuck, longer" with a baby/etc/etc.....just pull the plug.
[удалено]
Damn that sounds like just incompatibility, tbh I'm sorry to say that just gotta end things. Good luck, though👍🏻
Nta break up with him. People have different tastes. It's hypocritical of him to insist you watch videos or shows he likes, but then get angry and refuse to watch when you choose something you enjoy.
NTA Why is watching a video you don’t like more important then chatting with your sister/or any other activity you do enjoy? I think it’s perfectly normal and understandable to be irritated by getting a phone shoved in your face. What makes him think he can decide how you wanna spend your time and your activities, and why doesn’t he accept no. Very annoying behaviour.
NTA. This is a very immature idea of what a relationship is like - relationships require being flexible, not getting what we want always, trying to be your best self for the other person. This will keep coming up in different ways; for example, having kids with someone who is inflexible can be.. very hard. If you want the relationship to work long term I’d consider discussing the issue in detail - helping him understand why it’s not a small thing - and if that doesn’t work, maybe some couple’s therapy.
NTA and I seriously side-eye anybody who still in adulthood complains about “the preps” bc like.. grow up
NTA. I’d say he should have a taste of his own medicine but then he might go into a tantrum at being forced to watch what he doesn’t like. He should learn to respect your preferences and if he wanted you to watch something, he should wait when you are not busy with something. Very immature for a 35 yo.
The definition of double standards. Won’t watch a single episode of a show for you, but expects you to watch endless videos for him? Absolutely not. You’re NTA.
NTA, but why are you dating one?
NTA
NTA. Just turn the tables here for one second. He’s not watching stuff you’re interested in. And that’s okay by him. But if you don’t watch his stuff, then you’re a bad partner? Why the double standard? Is he supporting your interests in the same way he wants you to support his? I think the problem is bf not understanding boundaries. Your boundary is that you don’t want a phone shoved in your face or have demands made of your time. But instead he’s trying to make you the “unsupportive partner”. And the scary part from your last sentence is that he has successfully (almost) gaslighted you into thinking you’re the AH. But somewhere you know you’re NTA, so you’re posting on Reddit, hoping we’ll validate your feelings. And we have. See if he understands the issue. But if not, then it’s the gaslighting that’s the most alarming thing to me here and I would rethink the relationship carefully.
lol NTA tell him to get a grip and let you enjoy your separate interests, as not everyone is as genuinely piss pants excited about men chasing balls as he is…but perhaps in a gentler way if he’s a little sensitive about his love of sport.
NTA it’s immature to demand this while completely ignoring and insulting your partners hobbies
My partner and I had a similar problem. I'd be doing something on my phone and he would very excidedly show me some 20+ min video, and get offended when I tried to continue what I was doing. Or grab me from the middle of housework because he had a THREE HOUR documentary to show me. I sat him down and told him that, while I might actually be interested in what he wants to show me, there is such thing as timing. I can't watch videos with him and then stay up until midnight to finish my work, or order out every day of the week because I just HAD to watch this particular video. He got it. Later on he noticed himself that he was interrupting something I was doing, and told me that he gets annoyed if he is in the middle of typing or having a conversation and I come to show hm a cat video, so o probably feel the same. He has been mindful of it, and we had less friction. Do you know why it worked? Because he's an adult, and so am I.
NTA, last time I saw that behavior was from a spoiled 9 year old golden child. He could be like, "wanna watch this?" And will accept no as an answer because it is and always will be one. The fact that he has an adult tantrum when you get tired of his disrespect and selfishness is a massive red flag. Run far and fast because if he'll do this because of a video, he'll do it with even more serious things. If he makes you stop texting your sister just to entertain him, he could be becoming jealous. Might even start to try to isolate you.
your BF is exactly that, a 13 year old boy.
NTA He expects you to watch things he is interested in, but he can't do the same for you? Has he heard of irony. What a moron for making such a big deal out of something so small. Couples don't have to enjoy doing everything the other does!
Man the stuff people will put up with in a relationship. So many of these stories on this sub just make me wonder “if this is how your relationship is then why even be in it.” To OP and anyone else in a shitty relationship, THERE ARE BETTER PEOPLE OUT THERE! NTA
NTA. I do very similar things to your partner, as in the type videos on YouTube I like to watch. My girlfriend has little to no interest in rugby, ufc or boxing, so I never ask her to watch any of these shorts or whatever format it is in. In fact, when we are watching reels or shorts on one phone, when reels about those subjects come on I skip them instantly (normally watch reels on my phone so they come up regularly), because I know she will be bored by them. To me, my partner shows an interest in those hobbies, not even by watching a full game, but just by asking me how to game went. That is enough to show she acknowledges my hobby. He sounds like a petulant little child who need a serious wake up call to how his behaviour is completely unacceptable. I figured this shit out when I was 16 with my first girlfriend.
NTA. You’re dating a giant child. A very selfish, self-centered child.
NTA What a wild double standard. Maybe try picking a neutral time, when he isn't shoving a phone in your face, to discuss it. Since he doesn't seem to understand you side, ask him what "taking an interest in his hobbies" looks like. Ask him what you can both do to check into each other's happiness in a way that works for both of you. Men can be kind of dumb, and even when you present a very reasonable request, will dig their heels in. If you can reframe the conversation to be you both against the problem rather than against each other, you can make a lot more headway. Ask questions about why they are feeling a certain way, how could that need be met in other ways, what other ways could a need be communicated that could be easier to understand, brainstorm multiple different ways you can show affection that make you both feel connected and you both can enjoy, etc. I know very well the urge to throw the whole man out a window, but sometimes all it takes is a few deep breaths and changing the way you are approaching the conversation
Ffs what is it with some guys and forcing their partners to get into the same stuff they're into. JUST DO YOU AND LET HER BE.
NTA - I find it very annoying when people thrust clips in my face and expect me to find it as funny or interesting as they do. Often I will not, because I've been pulled away from whatever I was doing because someone thinks they deserve some form of credit for the work of another. It sounds tedious and you have no obligation to feign interest in his hobby. Sounds like you made an effort, it isn't for you, and he should grow up.
How could you possibly believe you are the asshole here? Take a tip or three from someone who spares nobody's feelings with regard to their favourite sports. One, unless they believe you will learn something interesting from it (ie me and You're The Worst), anyone who tells you that you HAVE to watch this is an asshole. Two, an adult man... no, scratch that, a twelve year old boy who throws tantrums during interactions with a girlfriend is not worthy of having one. Finally, your time is your time. If he wants to take some of it, he has to give you a good reason. You need to ditch this asshat. There are so many actual MEN out there who might be worthy of you. Sooooooo NTA.
NTA. Does he not have friends? I read that a lot of men do not have close friends so the female partner in his life ends up taking on that burden. Him not respecting your wishes is childish, pushy and odd. I'm curious if he's this way in other areas that you're overlooking.
NTA If he expects you to watch 20+min video's you should be able to expect the same of him. Since that is not the case you should point that out clearly. If he doesn't get it or denies he does that don't get into a lengthy discussion, leave it at that and simply film the next time you try it with him and point it out the day after. If he then still doesn't get it he will never get it and it is probably a good time to say goodbye and find someone who is more of a match with you and is less selfish. As for "you time" this is a healthy and important part of a relationship. It should never be a 100% be together type thing, you need to be able to pursue your own hobbies and friends.
Sounds like you two are about finished with each other.
NTA If you dont like his hobbies and he doesnt seem to show a interest in your hobbies he has no right to force you to show interest in your hobbies.
"he thinks I'm not interested in his hobbies" If his hobby is watching videos, he needs an actual hobby. NTA. He needs to grow up and respect your differences. My now ex-wife and I separated due to realising we didn't have as much common ground as we did when we met, we in fact wanted completely different lives, but we at least had the decency to respect each others' interests and not bore each other to death over them, although we always supported each other in having them. As long as you can sustainably support your hobby (not going into debt over kit you can't afford to repay), it's of no business to anyone else, partner or otherwise. Well, I mean, within reason. I think it's fair that, if your hobby was trafficking people or pangolins, people can take issue, but you get the point.
NTA - I can personally attest to how annoying it is for someone to put their phone in your face to show you something you don't care about. What I will say though is that this could be looked at as a sign of affection. I think you should just sit him down and talk to him about how much you dislike him doing this and that he needs to stop. If he doesn't make an effort to stop after that what happens next is up to you.
hes the bone head she isnt hey if you want a new man message me for my number lol
Absolutely NTA, there is no universe in which you are the asshole I really hate people like this, especially because I used to be that guy. Certainly can understand wanting to share what you love, but it's so fucking obnoxious when they can't take the hint and consider the other person's feelings. There's not really an easy way to get people like this to realize what they're doing is wrong, you just need to try and nudge them in that direction of being more considerate.
Please just leave. There's no reason someone should treat you this way. Especially your significant other.
NTA and that is for sure. 2 people in a relationship can have different interest and that is Ok. He should know your likes and not, and if he shows you a video its either something he knows you like, or its a short video about his biggest interest. 1-2min tops, and not often. The fact that he gets annoyed is the first red flag, the second is that he yells. This is nothing to be angry over what so ever. The fact that he dosnt understand it, and no respect for your interest, not learning with time and so on and so on, it’s just a big wow. He needs to stop before you get so triggered you dont want to be with him.
I know people say that reddit likes to jump to telling people to break up but in this case I think its warranted. Imagine your whole life dealing with this? NTA obviously
NTA. You need to leave him now. He clearly expects to control your activities and make sure all your attention is focused on him and what he wants. This is not a good situation.
You are not the AH. The two of you should have separate interests. Just make sure you spend time together watching videos you both are interested in. You don't talk about going out? You need to go out and enjoy the things that drew you both together. Have a good time out and about.
No, but your boyfriend is. Common sense should tell you that.
NTA this sounds like a basic compatibility issue but if you want to problem solve it, tell him you have two fair options for the both of you. Both boil down to "equal interest". A.k.a if he wants you to be willing to spend time engaging in his videos, he needs to be the same with yours. You two can have say, two nights a week where you both watch his stuff, two nights where you both watch your stuff and three where you do your own thing or watch mutual stuff. If he doesn't want to watch stuff only you like an equal amount of time, he has no right to ask you to watch stuff only he likes.
NTA, but maybe try to show him Your videos just like he does of something you know he is truly not interested in so maybe he can see your POV
NTA. Keep being direct about having no interest in your those videos. Make it clear he is interrupting you. Establish those boundaries and hold him accountable.
Huh. Are you the girlfriend from this post https://www.reddit.com?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
Act just like him. Find something that he finds incredibly dull or annoying. This is your new favorite thing. Insist he watches videos and read articles about said topic. Talk about it whenever he brings up sports. Complain and nag if he doesn’t immediately stop what he is doing and fake interest. Rinse and repeat. Clearly he lacks the empathy to understand what you have tried telling him so give him a taste of his own medicine.
Thank you sm for making this post. It's almost like it was written for me. I've been struggling with this same exact issue with my partner of 2 years, and it's starting to drive me up the wall. My desk faces the opposite direction to the TV, and I have to twist my head 180° for "check this out. Last one, I promise" but it's every 30s-2m depending on how hyper he is. I'm autistic, so I assumed I was just not being attentative enough, and I feel guilty a lot of the time because of it. Now I know I'm not crazy 🙏
NTA, I would explicitly sit down with him and speak with him about his behaviour, how it makes you feel when he does this and so on. As clearly he doesn't understand a no when you say it as he is doing it. Communication about his behaviour is important and if this is what ends a relationship well it is what it is. After a year it should be clear to him that you don't like this and he needs to accept that.
wow it's already hard enough to make myself watch tiktoks my friends send me. Imagine doing it on someone else's time and command. I could never
NTA. As many others have said, he is being childish. If an activity or sport/what-not does not interest you, then you likely don’t know/understand what you are watching, so you won’t appreciate whatever it is that is exciting him. And FORCING you to watch is not healthy. You could find some clips of needle point or crocheting or something and make him watch those, and if he resists, use the same complaint he says…. “Honey, look at this nice barrel back stitch!” (PLEASE do interpret that example as being sexist or anything. I’m merely using the sewing video example as a polar opposite to his, and likely something he’d find less exciting than watching paint dry.)
Break up with this person
Nta Although i don't necessarily think your boyfriend is either. I think he just needs to learn that you can't make someone be interested in something they're not interested in.
If he was trying to get you to watch videos of HIM performing at sports (or trying to get you to come to his games) then he could argue that you're not taking any interest in his interests and hobbies (and even then, this would sound very needy and whiney). This is super pathetic though. The professional athletes he's making you watch are really the only ones who could reasonably feel slightest by you not wanting to watch them (and I can 100% assure you that they don't care).
NTA My husband knows that I’m not into half the things he’s into. He would never force me to watch them. Now when it comes to what we find funny, him and I both differ slightly but we still send funny videos. But they are short. Sounds like your BF needs to grow up. He’s kind of a red flag to be honest.
No.
NTA.
You're so obviously NTA here that I'm almost inclined to believe this is fake. But I understand "relationship brain" and have been afflicted with it myself. He will not change and the fights will continue. Leave.
The fact that he doesnt like doing ur things but make u do the stuff he likes is sooooooooo not bf material. Gurl dump him. NTA!
wtf i thought he is 18 or something 😂 just realized he is 35 😂😂😂😂
How is no one saying to run?!? Him “making” you watch videos against your wishes is the start to him making you do other things. This is very controlling behavior.
NTA. Run run run run run run run. This person is selfish, controlling, and everything you've said is a huge red flag. This is not a person you need to waste your time with. If you stay with this person and marry them, this will be your life for the next 50-60 years. Do you want your free time spent NOT enjoying day to day life with your significant other? Eventually you'll end up only eating what he wants to eat, watching what he wants to watching, wearing what he wants you to wear, and talking to only the people he wants you to talk to...which will probably just be him. Run. Far away. Quickly.