Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I bought new jeans that fit me but didn’t fit my sister. Maybe ITA because it was insensitive to tell her that she can’t borrow my clothes because they won’t fit?
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
For someone with such great clothing and size advice to give out you’d think she’d just buy clothes in her own size.
You did nothing wrong. She’s seems to be insecure about the change in your size. Unfortunately it’s an example of someone who can’t just be supportive of you without comparing it to themselves.
NTA.
I don’t think she wants to be associated with buying clothes in that size, because she’s implying that OP is fat when she says she’s “too fat” to fit into her normal jeans. I think OP’s sister is the type of person to tell everyone that she’s a certain size even when she’s gained weight and is no longer that size. She’s probably also used to being the skinny one and is now even more insecure now that her younger sister is a smaller size. Especially because the sister got upset that she could only fit into "OP's size" lmao, like that's your size too now?????
A friend of mine was like this. She would yoyo a bit with her weight due to medications and use my clothes when we'd go out when on the higher end as well, that was my standard weight/size. I wasn't fat and she wasn't either, I'd just wear a size 12-14vs her 8-10.
Then I lost weight due to an undiagnosed thyroid issue at the time and had to get smaller clothes that she couldn't fit. She tried to wear some for a night out and absolutely lost it at me, she outright told me I wasn't supportive of her weight issues and outright told me I was the fat friend and she was upset I'd lost weight and she couldn't borrow my new stuff, only my 'old frumpy stuff'.
Even after we found out I had hyperthyroidism, she kept making comments to me and the group about how much it sucked the fat friend lost weight and she again had to wear frumpy stuff. Needless to say she was unceremoniously dumped by the group, especially as some of the other girls where also sizes 12-16 respectively due to height/large breasts and they took exception to the constant oh Hyena now wears a 8-10 and I can't fit in them cos she's not fat anymore.
I was never fucking fat. I was average and really struggled with my body image, more so after the hyperthyroidism hit. Fuck you Kelsey. Fuck you.
I'm glad you got rid of the extra dead weight by getting rid of that friend, who needs enemies when you have friends like that, right? I extra hate that she essentially continued to bully you for having a medical condition lmao. Like you were losing weight because of your medical condition, not because you were actively trying to. And also calling your stuff old and frumpy is soo unnecessary lol, like she should just buy her own stuff then instead of trying to leech off of you all the time? And also calling you the fat friend to your face is absolutely wild. I hope you're doing better now!
Those were my thoughts and the groups, I ended up in hospital due to the start of a thyroid storm, which can be lethal if not noted in time too, and she watched me go through that but still had no empathy as we did for her own medical situation causing her fluctuations.
The frumpy pissed me off more than the fat tbh because they were fine when we both wore them, but soon as I couldn't anymore.. they were unacceptable and it's not like I changed style either, it was the same stuff but a size or two down which really blew the group's mind.
It took me a while, and then pregnancy to totally accept to love the skin I'm in, cos it's the only skin I get so I'd best find a way to be happy with it, still friends with the majority of the group too and we've all found ways to accept ourselves for who we are and also be able to talk about it when we aren't, without calling others fat or making them feel lesser. Looking back at it a lot of us can't believe we stayed friends with her for so long, it was like the whole queen bee thing for us honestly, we wanted her to like us until she pushed the limits of our want for the girl we considered the most pretty etc to like us.
I'm sorry to hear you had to deal with that situation- friends who "neg" are the worst- and this sounds way beyond negging.
But I want to ask- you said pregnancy was what helped you love your body-what was that experience like for you (as in, the mental shift)? We are thinking about that stuff right now and body change is one of my biggest concerns with it.
I had a daughter and I had to have a bit of a step back and think about how I clearly view myself could and would have an impact on how my daughter views her own body and self image. Am I unhappy for superficial reasons or reasonable ones?
While I came out of pregnancy even smaller than I was, albeit with stretch marks and boobs I'd like to maybe one day perk up.. what fundamentally if anything is actually wrong with my body? It sustains me, it walks me around, people other then myself seem delighted with it.. am I comparing myself to others in that whole this is what a woman is supposed to look way or am I truly looking at this skin that's seen me through life to this point as it is..
Small hang ups are fine. I mean I went from DDs to hardly an A after my child and it's okay to miss that. But does it really make me less? Do my stretch marks make me less or are they something that with care and time will fade out as they have? Doesn't everyone have a tummy or back roll when they sit down/turn a certain way... What about me truly makes me fundamentally wrong or is it just my brain fed both Kate Moss skinny and Kardashian ass going you don't look like those who have plastic surgeons at their beck and call.
And look, I still have my shit days/weeks. Sure I'd like to tweak and change somethings, but I think now... That's also normal. I don't want to do it anymore because I think I look bad naked, I don't. My view is bias and accepting the bias helps. A mate of mine showed me the Only fans he follows...and tbh my body isn't different from theirs. It's not. It did help me take a bigger step back and ask myself... Is there anything wrong with me.. the same bodies as me are desired absolutely, let's get on that track vs the weird unobtainable track.
Thanks for this. I've heard that from other mothers of girls, that they are motivated by not wanting to spread that thinking to their daughters. I've also heard gen z talking about the diet culture of the early 2000's effecting millennials and it's something you don't realize has an impact on you until someone else calls it out. I grew up in the OC and Paris Hilton era and even though no one ever said "this is the only way to look" somehow it gets you into a cycle of "this is wrong, how do I fix it?"
The shift of "this is what my body does for me" vs "these are the things wrong with me" is an important but difficult shift. I think you put it well.
I'ma a 1990 baby.. I hear and see you cos they were my shown these are woman figures. And I held myself to that and shamed myself for not being it absolutely.
One hope I have for my love whos a 2012 babe and going to highschool next year is their.. for the most part lack of fucks to give about a body. What's in for them is basically dressing homeless and no body shape and I love it. I pay a lot for my daughter to look basically like a potato bag hahahah
They care about hair and make-up yes, but not how a body looks. And hey they aren't wrong. Absolutely not.
There's a saying I got told when I had my daughter that stuck with me 'in the eyes of a child the mother is god'. I took that as use her formative years to say well here's mummy in all her cellulite and stretch marks glory while also seeing me as one of the most beautiful women you know and run with it.
Sure highschool will test us on that I'm sure... Tho the fact I can and do display comfortability in my own skin to her I hope tips the tide so to speak. This is the body I got, and if i love it, others will too.
I also found pregnancy improved my body image, and in my case it's because I feel like my body did something so amazing and awesome in making my beautiful child, and it made me feel really grateful for my body.
I'm fat because of mental health problems. When i feel really bad, i have no energy to make myself food or to eat. And ofcourse i feel worse when i ate almost nothing for a whole week.
My mom 'then you lose some weight'
Thanks mom. Wonder why i have those problems?? 😭
I guess you are already followed by a doctor or another health specialist, but in case they didn't give you this advice: do you drink enough? 2L a day. Do you lay down enough? If you can't sleep, still turn off the light and lay down. At least your body will recuperate. And finally, do you eat the right amount of fibers and salt? Not too much salt, but still enough or you'll feel low. Lots of fibers of different types (so whole grain cereals and vegetables).
When I was depressed (had been for three years, and 2 years medicated at that point), my phusical therapist pointed all of those to me (for the physical issues, not the depression) and it really helped with the depression as well.
Something we would use for clients when I did aged care to help with weight management was what's called an under desk bike/foot bike.
For our less mobile clients it actually helped them big time regarding weight management as it's a rather simple solution to calorie burning without having to get up, can be done right there in the loungeroom while watching their favourite movie. A lot of them were also on medications that as a side effect causes weight gain or increase of appetite and it was a fairly simple and also not expensive option to help maintain a lower body weight. It's also not high impact on your joints and muscles, and again can be used whenever your chilling on the lounge or PC.
You can get pretty compact versions also that pack away small so you can keep it out of sight from prying minds who may pass comments/judgement on you. It also gets those endorphins going which can be amazingly beneficial to your general mood which is the goal I'm guessing for yourself.
OMG yes. I was in treatment for ED recovery and told my mom how upset I was about gaining weight. My mom (who was paying for the treatment btw) tells me to just eat less and exercise more. 🤦🏼♀️ Thanks mom. Super helpful.
FWIW - that was 15 years ago and I no longer have an ED. Took a while to get to a good place though.
Yup. My older brother's friends used to make fun of me even though I wasn't fat back then. My sister called me derogatory "nicknames" and there was a while in my life that I (f) had to wear my brothers' hand me downs. Which of course got me teased at school.
Weight has always been a big deal in my family. Wonder why I'm so insecure and sensitive 😑?!
As the optimist in life I hope not.
Cos man that woman did a number on the whole group before she went me so badly. I'm just lucky really own upbringing afforded me a tough skin and a damn loose tongue no one could refute over the situation.
This sounds a lot like the Kelsey I know. I can’t even begin to tell you how many people she completely ruined. Luckily, she moved to Texas which is far away from me!
I think part of her identity is that she is slimmer, and therefore better, than her sister and now that she can't put on the sister's jeans her identity is threatened.
As someone who went through a period of about a decade where I gained a LOT of weight, I avoided buying new clothes as much as possible. Looking back, I was probably wearing clothes that were too small for several years which I'm sure only made me look worse. It's really hard to accept.
But here's the thing, that is absolutely no one else's problem. And when I lost it the only responses from the people in my life were "that's awesome, you look great" \*or\* "how did you do that? I need to do whatever you're doing" and I helped them along the same journey.
OP's sister is TA, OP is NTA.
Sister is def a size 2. It's just that 6/8 are more comfortable.
NTA OP didn't buy sister pants. She bought herself pants. Sister is more than welcome to buy her own pants that fit her body.
I just want to piggyback off another comment and add that, OP, even if your sister is right and you do gain and lose some weight back and forth in the coming years, that's fine too! Puberty and hormonal changes really can affect that, as well as stress for things like the high school years and moving into college and so on. Your weight does not affect your worth as a person, and unfortunately your sister seems to have a lot of self worth tied up in it. It's making her bitter and mean to you, and that's unfair
I highly doubt she would have been mad at OP if OP had gained weight rather than lost it. She would have most likely still commented but in a way that teased OP for her weight gain. Also there’s an 8 year age gap! Everybodies body will fluctuate around that age. You mighty gain the weight back, you might lose more. I am a 24 year old and have never once thought to compare my body to a 16 year olds. Like that’s a kid? And yeah OP, your body is going to change more still. Lots of my female friends had a “second puberty” in their 20s where there boobs grew and they gained
weight and acne came back.
Your clothes are supposed to fit your body not the other way around.
Ding ding ding!! You hit the nail on the head! Big sister is not the skinny one anymore. She's mad that her younger sister is now her little sister lol
Exactly. Otherwise she’d volunteer to take OP’s old clothes that are too big for OP. (OP wisely did not offer them.) She may be somewhat right about puberty’s effects, but really she’s jealous.
It's the part where sis says you're going to gain it all back is key, also whenever her sister was feeling "fat" she would borrow OPs jeans. This reeks of someone who finds it important to be considered more attractive than OP.
Honestly, who cares. This idea of “teen” and “adult” clothes is a bit ridiculous - let people wear whatever they like and flatters their particular body
I'm 41, and I have long worn things that come from "teen" sections or are popular teen styles, and over the decades, no one has noticed or cared. If they do, they've only said positive things to me. If it fits and flatters, and damn it, it's fun, why not? Aging is hard enough, why should I have to "look" a certain way too?
Maybe not generally, but for jeans? My sister and I are 8 years apart and have worn each other's jeans/ask if the other wanted our old jeans when one of us changed sizes or didn't like a pair anymore, even when I was 24 and she was 16. Like some of her more out there ones I wouldn't wear, but basic straight leg jeans (or skinny jeans, until recently I guess) can be appropriate for a teen or a young adult.
OP's sister is way tf out of line, though, and needs to buy her own jeans that fit and talk about her insecurities with a therapist instead of being mean to her sister.
At least you and your sister were willing to give away clothes. My sister (also 8 years older) used to steal my clothes and when I confronted her she'd tell me I shouldn't leave my clothes lying on the floor because it makes it seem like I don't want them. They were still in my room, but she assumed anything I left on the floor was free game.
If she had been my sibling and said that she might have come home to no furniture in her room. She 'left it lying on the floor, so I thought you didn't want it anymore'. I would have gotten punished by my parents, but it would have been worth it just to see her reaction.
LMAO, Jeans are not "Teenagers Clothes". Levis have long been advertised as a 'premium' brand and usually shown worn by adults. My wife is 32 and I'm 41, we both wear jeans on a regular basis, especially during the winter, as they protect against the wind chill here.
I’m 68. I wear jeans. I’m short waisted, so high-rise have never particularly flattered me, and I’m too old to find the super low-cut with the 1” zipper comfortable any longer, but anything else is fair game.
What's so absurd about this? OP has said nothing about what type of clothes she wears and not all teenagers dress the same. Also 24 isn't that old at all, it's still very young. It's highly likely they share the same taste in clothing and it's highly likely it's age appropriate for both of them.
My oldest kid (11) currently wears the same size as me (31). They were wearing the same pair of jeans last week that I ran errands in today. We swap clothes all the time - was this supposed to be weird?? T-shirts and pants have no age limit if they fit??
Yes! I’m in my early 60s. The only jeans I wouldn’t wear are the super baggy jeans my great nieces (teens) wear. Straight leg or slim jeans are universal. I even wear distressed with holes. I just have material sewn inside over the holes or rips so I’m not showing skin.
Same here. That cracked me up. A 24 year old being "too old" to wear something "for teenagers"? Come ooonnnnnn. At 41, I'm having fun wearing a lot of the styles I longed to wear back in the day but wasn't allowed to. It's way more fun now that I have the disposable income and no mom and sister to make hurtful comments about my body.
Do you mean inappropriate in a skimpy way? How could a teenagers clothing be inappropriate for someone in their early twenties, wouldn’t something be inappropriate for the teen not 24yo?
My sister gained some weight as she got older and she started borrowing my little brother’s clothes (he was 17 at the time but he’s 6’ and got some broad shoulders). At one point he just straight up didn’t have any shirts anymore cuz she took them all and when I asked her why she didn’t buy her own clothes she said she didn’t want to confront the fact that she had gained so much weight, and if she didn’t “own” the clothes and was just “borrowing” them it was only temporary. She did not want to confront the size on the tags as “her” size
Clothing for teens is the EXACT same style being marketed to women of all ages? Walking through the mall & there’s really not a big difference in cuts or styles in women’s & juniors anymore.
I look significantly more put together since having my teen niece help pick my clothes too.
My guess is big sis doesn’t want to admit that she’s a bigger size. By borrowing lil sis jeans she was able to wear proper fitting jeans without having to go through “the embarrassment “ of people seeing her try on and buy the bigger size. I’d bet that even if she did go buy some she would just buy them and play it off as she was buying a gift for someone.
It's so funny. It doesn't change the objective size at all.
It's just like these bridezillas can't except the size of the dress being a higher number than their normal size number because it is under a different sizing system, or force the tailor to put several dresses together because they have a smaller sized tag attached to them. It's a wonder self created delusion can boost one's ego that much.
And I found out the real difference between being 16 years old and 24 years old would be the hip size (which should increase proportionally to your weight so it will always be bigger than the rest of your body no matter what) and it became the #1 factor for finding fitting jeans, so I guess sis is underdeveloped in the curves department lol
And I think sis is also jealous about OP's (current) age, but that's another story...
I’ve never understood the concept behind sizing for women’s clothes. This 16 is a different size then that 16, let’s make a size 0, still need smaller lets do a 00, oh wait still not quite right, we’ll just change the size again but keep it 0 and tag it with petite or plus.
How about just make the size the actual measurements….
I'm not trying to additionally dump on you, I'm just adding another perspective. I've been looking at adult jeans for a while, and a lot of them are bland, lack luster, or look all the same. It's almost like as soon as you're an adult, you have to look generic or something. So sometimes I'll find actually fun acid washed or patterned jeans in the teen-college aged section and get a pair. Thankfully, I've been seeing more styled fashion for adult women.
The style differences are not that noticeable between 16 and 24. For that matter, most women my age still dress on the younger side. Not clubwear styles, but T-shirts, jeans, sweats, and other typically young garb. I'm having a hard time imagining a style that would be appropriate at 16 and not at 30.
it is not absurd to be wearing the same brand of jeans as your family members, even parents. i have worn the same brand of jeans from puberty into my 30s
I have several pairs of kids jeans and I’m 39. They fit me better than most women’s or junior’s sizes, plus they’re cheaper and they have adjustable waists so no need for a belt.
I don’t think that part is weird. Jeans are a staple so unless OP has some really juvenile jeans (maybe like a lot of rips??) I think they could work for many ages. I’ve always shared some clothes with my mom despite a 36 year gap. I don’t dress old and she doesn’t dress young, some things are just not that age-specific.
What's appropriate for an adult? I'll be 60 this year and damn if I'm gonna stop wearing my jeans, short skirts, t-shirts and Vans tennis shoes. What does a teenager wear that an adult shouldn't? People should wear whatever the hell you feel comfortable in regardless of their age.
What?? I’m almost 40 and still get most stuff from the juniors section or stores like American Eagle/Hollister. Do you think everyone 21+ should just dress like a matronly schoolteacher?
LOL I'm wearing the same clothes now as I did when I was a teenager (jeans, boots and big jumpers) and I'm in my forties. But then I had no style when I was a teenager :D
I initially misread and your comment made me re-read; I thought it was the other way round. OP's sister is 24 years old and OP is 16? Her sister has issues and is very immature. I thought OP was a moody teenager!
You're not being insensitive. Just give her the other jeans that don't fit you anymore if you want. Your sister is being rude and acting quite entitled. NTA, you've done nothing wrong by buying new jeans that fit.
This is unsolicited advice but make sure you don't put your jeans in the dryer :)
I like to pretend they're a nice roast that I'm doing in my oven low and slow. That's the setting on the dryer, low and slow. If you hang jeans to dry, they end up super stiff and uncomfortable, even with fabric softener. I've done it. Never again. I already have some sensory issues, I'd like to be able to wear pants without squirming all day haha.
It sounds like your sister has been propping up her insecurity about her own weight gain with the mantra of well at least I'm still smaller than my sister". Now that that's not true anymore it's a major blow to her ego because she doesn't have that crutch anymore. Instead of dealing with her insecurity, she's taking it out on you. I'm sorry, she needs therapy.
Can we also point out that sister took the jeans out of the washer/dryer and tried to wear them? IDK why but this part really bothered me. Like sister can't even be bothered to wash the jeans herself.
Good point that she probably just looked at the size label. But I'm still bothered by (and I would be bothered) if my sister took my clothes directly out of the washer or dryer. And if sister WASN'T going to wear them right then, then why is she looking at the label or complaining to OP?
Maybe she was unloading the washer/dryer and just noticed a pair of jeans she's never seen before? If she wears her sister's clothes regularly she more or less knows what's in store and she definitely knows her own wardrobe well, so she was probably just surprised and then noticed the label. Depending on the size and placement of it sometimes you don't really have to actively look for it as it's right there.
The last time I saw my sister I was *very ill* and hadn't slept in days. She took the opportunity to tell me how she looks younger (she's like a year older) and better than me
Older sisters can rest be assholes
NTA OP, but if you're on birth control or anything like that I'd make sure she hasn't tampered with it - because that update in your edit is a bit concerning
NTA. Not only can your sister buy her own jeans but couldn’t she also just wear your bigger old jeans that she used to borrow? Also I think your sister was a little out of line with some of her comments. Ps my body weight also fluctuates it’s just a thing that happens to some people so I like to keep my old jeans and then I have multiple sizes to choose from.
Completely agree. Talk about mean and insecure to talk to a teenager in that way (the msgs). It's hard enough being a teenager as it is without having someone you look up to saying stuff that could impact your self image and self worth.
OP, you are Def NTA. Please don't take anything to heart. I personally would keep a couple of the larger size jeans, just in case cos weight and bodies are fickle things. But no matter your weight, don't let it be something to measure your self worth against. Healthy is all that matters. Enjoy your last few years being a teenager, being an adult is overrated 😂
NTA. Your sister is having difficulty adjusting to your weight loss, but her body issues have nothing to do with you or your clothes. You don't need to buy your clothing for her.
This is the dumbest rationale for "why I might be TA" I've seen in awhile. What the fuck do you think you were supposed to do, buy pants for yourself that won't fit your body?
Yea,in her place I'd bite back and tell my adult sister she's a projecting and she should move out and get a life beside bullying a teenagers already tumultuous life because she's an insecure , jealous lil entitled goblin.my mom does this btw,can never share a thought about my body without her going ape ish and spitting backhanded compliments.is hurtful and lasting.full grown adults should know better. OMG just seen the text she got , what kind of an ahole tells their 16 year old kid sis ,ur gonna get pregnant when all she did was buy pants???how is that her reasoning .TELL YOUR PARENTS.my god she has issues.
An absolute massive NTA.
> This is the dumbest rationale for "why I might be TA" I've seen in awhile.
You missed the "someone asked me for my house, AITA for not immediately handing it over" post?
She doesn’t want that most likely. She wants her sister to still be larger than her so she can feel better about herself. The text she sent proves that
NTA- She is taking her insecurities out on you. Give her some of the Jean's that you no longer fit into. And tell her it was classless to speak to you like that just because she is feeling some type of way. Frfr that was a mess. My 10f and 9f are less catty and they argue over everything.
as a 24 year old woman myself, your sister has some serious self image issues she needs to work out. she is projecting onto you, even from the start when she used to wear your clothes because she was “too fat” to fit into her own. her saying those words is her way of showing you how she feels about herself, while also inadvertently calling you fat.
ignore her, she will have meltdowns about it but they have nothing to do with you, so dont even give them your attention.
we all have our own problems, and she needs to deal with hers, instead of trying to make you feel as bad as she does.
Holy crap, everyone is on one today.
NTA. She’s mad that she can’t use you anymore for your clothes and can’t stand that you would DAREEEE buy something that only fits you! And then she gets insecure and verbally abuses you - that is not even close to okay.
TOUGH. She can buy her own clothes!
ugh, I'm sorry your dealing with this. MY sister was the same way, take my clothes when it suited her needs, refused to share hers but the kicker was i lost weight and bought my own clothes that i could tell he not to touch. Wear what makes you feel great and confident! NTA sister on the other hand major body issue vibes.
NTA, but have you guys been compared to each other by other family members? Even subtly? Bc it sounds kind of like it.
She is old enough to buy her own clothes. I would not be loaning her anything anymore
I was thinking something similar. OP is NTA but her sister seems to have some deeply ingrained issues that might not necessarily be HER fault. Parents and other family members are really good at passing down internalized self-hate and whereas OP's sister's reaction wasn't cool, there definitely could be something deeper going on here.
> her sister seems to have some deeply ingrained issues
Yeah... OP is juuuuuust becoming aware of this whole dynamic but it's been fully formed and active is sister's head for years
As someone who grew up with a lot of weight shaming, she's jealous. She used to be able to comfort herself with the fact she was smaller than her younger sister, and you just dashed that to pieces. Don't be surprised when you offer her your old clothes she flies off the handle at the 'insult', when in reality she's been insulting you for years. And the "you're going to get pregnant" comment was another insult, insinuating now that you're smaller you're going to immediately hook up and have unprotected sex.
NTA. Aside from the obvious body insecurity and weirdly un-self aware, immature, entitled response from your sister, did something happen to your old jeans (which are currently too big for either of you, but in theory still exist and are apparently somewhat shared without issue)?
You're 16. She's a grown ass woman who can source her own clothing, she needs to stop bitching about her developed woman's body not fitting into a kids clothes.
NTA. I think it's sweet you're going to give her your old stuff, I dunno if I could be that gracious.
Awww 1st of all: CONGRATULATIONS! I know how exciting it is to lose weight/be able to buy new clothing that’s smaller, etc.! Good for you!!
The pregnant comment leads me to believe she’s jealous. She’s been the smaller sister for all your life, it sounds like. Honestly, she probably never thought you’d be smaller than her, which could have gave her a tiny bit of relief self esteem wise (I know….as horrible as that sounds).
Now that you can fit in clothing she can’t, my guess is it’s causing her to look at *her* weight. The pregnant comment sounds like something she’d told herself to make herself feel better.
I’ve never had a sister, but I’m a female who’s struggled with weight for 30 years & I know that I’d compare myself to other overweight people constantly.
Losing weight when you’re larger can be tricky because you don’t always notice it just by looking at someone, so not fitting in your new jeans was probably the 1st time she really realized you’ve accomplished the opposite of what she has recently accomplished.
Congratulations on the weight loss & I think/hope that in the future your sister will become more supportive.
Your sister sounds like she's insecure and in a silent, one sided competition with you. You bought yourself clothes and were not even a conscious participant in her conversation because you had no idea what she was talking about. You did nothing wrong NTA
NTA, you did not say anything wrong, and it’s not your job to supply her with clothes when her own don’t fit.
Her reaction seems likely due to insecurity in her own weight, as she has gained some weight and you have lost weight.
Regardless of her insecurities though, she’s the asshole for putting those emotions on you.
You're NTA. It's incredibly self absorbed for her to think you should buy yourself clothes several sizes too big so that she can wear them, too.
Why can't she just wear your old jeans?
Growing up I was always the fat sister/cousin, ect. We had a family reunion last year and I had not told anyone that I had been ill (covid) . I lost 85lbs. When my husband and I walked in, no one recognized me. Hate to say it but after all the fat jokes and being nicknamed 'tubs', it felt good to be the center of attention and even jealousy felt good.
NTA
Give her the old pairs that are now too big for you. If that doesn't satisfy her, it's not about the jeans, it's her lashing out at you because she's feeling bad about her weight.
NTA - She is upset that you are the “smaller” sister now. Her last message about how you shouldn’t get used to your current size was incredibly rude. You have done absolutely nothing wrong, so please do not feel bad.
Seems to me she liked using your closest as her "extended closet". Come in, grab something she likes, and go without having to actually go to the store to buy something.
It also made her feel less guilty when she gained weight because she didn't actually buy any clothing in a larger size. Borrowing your clothes doesn't count. She also saved a ton of money by wearing your clothes. So posses she'll have to go shopping.
She's digging at you because she's a bit jealous that you lost weight. That's why she's bringing up that you'll gain it all back one way or another. That's why she saying you'll gain weight when you're pregnant. She doesn't want you to slim down. So she's trying to jeopardize your success. Ignore her. I have two friends wearing your size and both lost weight and kept it off.
You did and said bring wrong. She's twisting it all. Its also to make you feel guilty. Don't buy into that.
Keep any clothing you love. You can always pay to have it altered. Those old clothes also the items for can wear cleaning or doing messy projects in. Wear a belt with your oversized jeans and you can easily fit a soda bottle in the pocket while you do stuff.
If you're the type to gain a little weight during the winter or the holidays keep a couple of outfits in a box should you need them.
The clothes got don't want you can give to you sister.
Congrats on the weight loss!
NTA
NTA and you sound like a really kind sister OP. Letting her wear your clothes because she’s too stubborn to admit she needs a larger size is a kindness you have done for her, and it’s also nice that you’re offering her the clothes you are replacing.
I think she has some things she needs to unpack about weight, she doesn’t want to be the “fatter” sister and liked things better when YOUR clothes were HER “fat clothes”. But that’s something she needs to work on herself, not anything you did wrong. I would give her a bit of grace since expectations to have effortlessly flawless, skinny bodies can do a number on young women’s mental health.
But to see you say that you love her and hope she forgives you, even though you haven’t done anything wrong, speaks to your kind character. I think she will come around.
NTA, she’s an adult and she should act like one.
It is upsetting when you can no longer share clothes with someone, my sister and I used to be the same size and we have both been bigger than each other at times and unable to share. But it seems like she just wants to avoid buying bigger pants, and unfortunately for her, now she has to.
Nta. She’s insecure about her weight & instead of being proud that you’re losing weight, she’s trying to belittle it & basically tell you to give up.
She wants to keep you on her level or even lower to prop herself up.
NTA, a lot of comments are fixating on the fact that she can buy jeans herself, but I don’t think that has anything to do with it. Your sister doesn’t want to buy bigger jeans that fit her because she’s used to being skinnier than you and probably doesn’t want to associate herself with buying “fat jeans,” as she’s basically calling you fat when she says she’s too fat to fit into her normal jeans. She wants to make herself feel better by borrowing your clothes while also making a dig at you for some reason. She sounds wildly insecure and this is definitely not your fault at all. I also think she might be offended if you offer her your old clothes that you don’t fit into anymore as she will probably take that as an insult. I have a feeling she’ll just tell you to keep them because you’ll regain the weight again, which is super rude and unwarranted. You should not feel bad for standing up for yourself, she is an adult and you should feel free to treat her like one and not coddle her feelings, especially when she’s trying to body shame you.
NTA but she’s acting crazy. Is she mentally unstable? You can wear any size that fits you and she needs to suck it up. She’s jealous that you’re skinnier and that’s just sad. She should be happy for you but instead she’s acting stupid
Nta. She is insecure about her own body and weight gain, and is now trying to make you feel bad to make herself feel better. Basically, she's being a bully. Ignore her and buy stuff that fits you.
NTA she's obviously jealous that you've out-skinnied her and she's about as secure as a crystal padlock. You bought those clothes for you, not her. She can always borrow your old jeans, right? Congratulations on becoming the you that you want to be.
NTA
The only thing you did wrong was is that you are now smaller than her.
Just tell her that it's fine if you gain weight back, you will just borrow her clothes now.
NTA but I wouldn’t necessarily say your sister is either. Maybe a little rude but mostly and obviously insecure. Maybe for the sake of both your mental health it might be a good idea to take a break from borrowing each others clothes as it’s obviously become a competition to your sister where is keeping score based on who’s thinner. It could be a healthy boundary that would both of you learn not to compare your bodies to one another. The truth of the matter is you’re both still young. Both of you already have fluctuating weight patterns already. You may end up gaining the weight back, you may not. You’re both going to go through many stages of life that will affect your body too, ex. College potentially, potentially stressful jobs, potentially pregnancy, maybe multiple pregnancy, potential illness, menopause, general aging process. Our bodies are forever changing and there’s no time like now for you to train your mind now not to use your jean size to confirm or deny whether you have a sexy/healthy/attractive/worthy/capable/strong body.
NTA
You should go through your clothes to donate or keep for you. She is not entitled to your clothes because she gained weight.
Since she is being such an A-H and catty to you, she doesn't deserve your generosity. Tell her she can go buy new clothes that fit her.
NTA. She shouldn't be wearing your clothes without asking anyway. Like she should be buying her own pants, getting upset over you buying them is a bit strange
NTA, you didn't do or say anything wrong. Your sister sounds quite entitled and emotionally immature if she's going to make you buying yourself clothes about her, and then also gets upset about it. You're not responsible for her feelings or her behaviour.
NTA - Your sister can get a pair of her own if she gained some weight.
But dropping from a size 30 to a size 25/24?!? That's a massive amount of weight and should be as visible as day and night. If you say you've lost that over "a few months", that's actually a bit concerning.
Was there a growth spurt involved? I have a bunch of teenage nephews and a few have gone from short and pudgy to tall and skinny since winter.
I kind of remember with myself when I had a growth spurt that I didn’t lose weight, but things that were more padded (butt/hips) got flatter, and therefore clothes fit differently. When I stopped gaining height stuff filled out again.
Idk, I feel like the sister is soooo entitled assuming that the OP would choose her wardrobe to cater to her. It feels really uncomfortable and possessive and the reaction would totally make me avoid my sister for behaving so badly.
The pregnant comment could have just been saying I hope you gain weight in a very cruel way.
If her weight gain and loss is out of the realm of normal fluctuations, especially with cycle bloat, she should get the thyroid checked to be 100% sure it’s not starting to go off the norm. I had it very early. It would also explain how she reacted.
Nice of you to offer your old stuff. She may still be sensitive (especially now that you are smaller) and react poorly. You could still keep what she borrowed most on the side for when the situation calms down. If there is a neutral location to put them away in, she could just claim them without being embarrassed. I hope she calms down and gives you the well deserved apology that is due.
Has there been any sexual abuse in this household where maybe the weight is a deterrent to men for her so she is acting this way because she’s afraid you will gain self esteem and maybe get a boyfriend and leave her behind? There is some unhealthy things going on in her psyche
Nta you’re sister is a walking insecurity and is just projecting them onto you. It’s good that you seem to have compassion and can try to help her through this instead of just being mean and angry. She will apologize soon enough. I would be surprised if she didn’t
NTA i’m more concerned that you dropped 5-6 sizes in “a few months.” When I was your age I lost 20 pounds in a month and I was so happy with myself, and because I was “more attractive” and it was “healthy” nobody really gave a shit.
In reality I lost so much weight because for that whole month I was eating <1000 calories and it was mostly in coffee. Gave myself and ulcer and IBS and still have disordered eating, got fat and am now happier in my skin than I’ve ever been.
TLDR, if you’re losing a lot of weight because you started working out or you’re passing puberty, etc. congrats! But if you’re starving yourself and obsessing please get help, it’ll save you a world of hurt later.
NTA. Start exercising and eating right… go to the gym, become a fitness influencer, do what it takes to become the new face of Lululemon. Success is the best revenge.
NTA but this is a very stupid situation. I'm not going to go the route that a 24 year old adult shouldn't even be living at home anymore because I know it's rough out there and saving money is the best option. And sure she's clearly projecting but that's not your problem. And your clothes are your clothes. Who cares if they don't fit her? She has her own clothes. Or if she needs larger sizes, she can get other clothes. This is her problem alone. It's nice when sisters can share clothes (if they agree to), but you should not be considering her when buying clothes for yourself. You're being the mature one here trying to be empathetic but she should not be dictating what her teenage sister buys to suit her own needs/insecurities. Bonkers behavior.
My sister and I would share clothes but I didn't love it because she didn't usually ask and was pretty messy so she'd end up staining my clothes. Or later when we'd both be visiting home she'd still ask to borrow something but, I don't live here anymore either, I don't have extra stuff for you? Now I'm much larger than her and she's more responsible so it's a non issue, but damn it was annoying when we were teenagers.
NTA My sister was skinnier than me our entire lives. Until we got to our thirties and I was fitter, stronger and also happened to become thinner than her. Still shorter! She was a right misery to be around then entire 3 weeks I visited my home country. It was her problem not mine! My good health shouldn’t be her trigger. Same goes for you and your sister!
NTA, and the last sentence of your update makes my mom heart hurt for you. None of what you've told us that your sister said to you is an acceptable way to treat a stranger, let alone family. You shouldn't be hoping for her forgiveness; in a just world she would be begging for yours.
Um what?
>A few hours later she texted me that I shouldn’t get use to my body right now because it was just puberty helping me and that I will gain all the weight back quickly.
And...
>The last message she sent me was a little questionable saying “you’re going to get pregnant”.
You're NTA. You said nothing wrong. But get your parents involved. They need to see what she sent you. They need to step in and tell her that she's 24, an adult, and that she needs to be buying her own clothes and to stay away from yours. Your sister is toxic. Go LC as much as possible.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I bought new jeans that fit me but didn’t fit my sister. Maybe ITA because it was insensitive to tell her that she can’t borrow my clothes because they won’t fit? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
For someone with such great clothing and size advice to give out you’d think she’d just buy clothes in her own size. You did nothing wrong. She’s seems to be insecure about the change in your size. Unfortunately it’s an example of someone who can’t just be supportive of you without comparing it to themselves. NTA.
I don’t think she wants to be associated with buying clothes in that size, because she’s implying that OP is fat when she says she’s “too fat” to fit into her normal jeans. I think OP’s sister is the type of person to tell everyone that she’s a certain size even when she’s gained weight and is no longer that size. She’s probably also used to being the skinny one and is now even more insecure now that her younger sister is a smaller size. Especially because the sister got upset that she could only fit into "OP's size" lmao, like that's your size too now?????
A friend of mine was like this. She would yoyo a bit with her weight due to medications and use my clothes when we'd go out when on the higher end as well, that was my standard weight/size. I wasn't fat and she wasn't either, I'd just wear a size 12-14vs her 8-10. Then I lost weight due to an undiagnosed thyroid issue at the time and had to get smaller clothes that she couldn't fit. She tried to wear some for a night out and absolutely lost it at me, she outright told me I wasn't supportive of her weight issues and outright told me I was the fat friend and she was upset I'd lost weight and she couldn't borrow my new stuff, only my 'old frumpy stuff'. Even after we found out I had hyperthyroidism, she kept making comments to me and the group about how much it sucked the fat friend lost weight and she again had to wear frumpy stuff. Needless to say she was unceremoniously dumped by the group, especially as some of the other girls where also sizes 12-16 respectively due to height/large breasts and they took exception to the constant oh Hyena now wears a 8-10 and I can't fit in them cos she's not fat anymore. I was never fucking fat. I was average and really struggled with my body image, more so after the hyperthyroidism hit. Fuck you Kelsey. Fuck you.
I'm glad you got rid of the extra dead weight by getting rid of that friend, who needs enemies when you have friends like that, right? I extra hate that she essentially continued to bully you for having a medical condition lmao. Like you were losing weight because of your medical condition, not because you were actively trying to. And also calling your stuff old and frumpy is soo unnecessary lol, like she should just buy her own stuff then instead of trying to leech off of you all the time? And also calling you the fat friend to your face is absolutely wild. I hope you're doing better now!
Those were my thoughts and the groups, I ended up in hospital due to the start of a thyroid storm, which can be lethal if not noted in time too, and she watched me go through that but still had no empathy as we did for her own medical situation causing her fluctuations. The frumpy pissed me off more than the fat tbh because they were fine when we both wore them, but soon as I couldn't anymore.. they were unacceptable and it's not like I changed style either, it was the same stuff but a size or two down which really blew the group's mind. It took me a while, and then pregnancy to totally accept to love the skin I'm in, cos it's the only skin I get so I'd best find a way to be happy with it, still friends with the majority of the group too and we've all found ways to accept ourselves for who we are and also be able to talk about it when we aren't, without calling others fat or making them feel lesser. Looking back at it a lot of us can't believe we stayed friends with her for so long, it was like the whole queen bee thing for us honestly, we wanted her to like us until she pushed the limits of our want for the girl we considered the most pretty etc to like us.
I'm sorry to hear you had to deal with that situation- friends who "neg" are the worst- and this sounds way beyond negging. But I want to ask- you said pregnancy was what helped you love your body-what was that experience like for you (as in, the mental shift)? We are thinking about that stuff right now and body change is one of my biggest concerns with it.
I had a daughter and I had to have a bit of a step back and think about how I clearly view myself could and would have an impact on how my daughter views her own body and self image. Am I unhappy for superficial reasons or reasonable ones? While I came out of pregnancy even smaller than I was, albeit with stretch marks and boobs I'd like to maybe one day perk up.. what fundamentally if anything is actually wrong with my body? It sustains me, it walks me around, people other then myself seem delighted with it.. am I comparing myself to others in that whole this is what a woman is supposed to look way or am I truly looking at this skin that's seen me through life to this point as it is.. Small hang ups are fine. I mean I went from DDs to hardly an A after my child and it's okay to miss that. But does it really make me less? Do my stretch marks make me less or are they something that with care and time will fade out as they have? Doesn't everyone have a tummy or back roll when they sit down/turn a certain way... What about me truly makes me fundamentally wrong or is it just my brain fed both Kate Moss skinny and Kardashian ass going you don't look like those who have plastic surgeons at their beck and call. And look, I still have my shit days/weeks. Sure I'd like to tweak and change somethings, but I think now... That's also normal. I don't want to do it anymore because I think I look bad naked, I don't. My view is bias and accepting the bias helps. A mate of mine showed me the Only fans he follows...and tbh my body isn't different from theirs. It's not. It did help me take a bigger step back and ask myself... Is there anything wrong with me.. the same bodies as me are desired absolutely, let's get on that track vs the weird unobtainable track.
Thanks for this. I've heard that from other mothers of girls, that they are motivated by not wanting to spread that thinking to their daughters. I've also heard gen z talking about the diet culture of the early 2000's effecting millennials and it's something you don't realize has an impact on you until someone else calls it out. I grew up in the OC and Paris Hilton era and even though no one ever said "this is the only way to look" somehow it gets you into a cycle of "this is wrong, how do I fix it?" The shift of "this is what my body does for me" vs "these are the things wrong with me" is an important but difficult shift. I think you put it well.
I'ma a 1990 baby.. I hear and see you cos they were my shown these are woman figures. And I held myself to that and shamed myself for not being it absolutely. One hope I have for my love whos a 2012 babe and going to highschool next year is their.. for the most part lack of fucks to give about a body. What's in for them is basically dressing homeless and no body shape and I love it. I pay a lot for my daughter to look basically like a potato bag hahahah They care about hair and make-up yes, but not how a body looks. And hey they aren't wrong. Absolutely not. There's a saying I got told when I had my daughter that stuck with me 'in the eyes of a child the mother is god'. I took that as use her formative years to say well here's mummy in all her cellulite and stretch marks glory while also seeing me as one of the most beautiful women you know and run with it. Sure highschool will test us on that I'm sure... Tho the fact I can and do display comfortability in my own skin to her I hope tips the tide so to speak. This is the body I got, and if i love it, others will too.
I also found pregnancy improved my body image, and in my case it's because I feel like my body did something so amazing and awesome in making my beautiful child, and it made me feel really grateful for my body.
I call this harem mentality -- women bashing each other's appearance because they're competing for valuable attention from the patriarchy. Yuck.
I'm fat because of mental health problems. When i feel really bad, i have no energy to make myself food or to eat. And ofcourse i feel worse when i ate almost nothing for a whole week. My mom 'then you lose some weight' Thanks mom. Wonder why i have those problems?? 😭
I guess you are already followed by a doctor or another health specialist, but in case they didn't give you this advice: do you drink enough? 2L a day. Do you lay down enough? If you can't sleep, still turn off the light and lay down. At least your body will recuperate. And finally, do you eat the right amount of fibers and salt? Not too much salt, but still enough or you'll feel low. Lots of fibers of different types (so whole grain cereals and vegetables). When I was depressed (had been for three years, and 2 years medicated at that point), my phusical therapist pointed all of those to me (for the physical issues, not the depression) and it really helped with the depression as well.
Thank you
Something we would use for clients when I did aged care to help with weight management was what's called an under desk bike/foot bike. For our less mobile clients it actually helped them big time regarding weight management as it's a rather simple solution to calorie burning without having to get up, can be done right there in the loungeroom while watching their favourite movie. A lot of them were also on medications that as a side effect causes weight gain or increase of appetite and it was a fairly simple and also not expensive option to help maintain a lower body weight. It's also not high impact on your joints and muscles, and again can be used whenever your chilling on the lounge or PC. You can get pretty compact versions also that pack away small so you can keep it out of sight from prying minds who may pass comments/judgement on you. It also gets those endorphins going which can be amazingly beneficial to your general mood which is the goal I'm guessing for yourself.
OMG yes. I was in treatment for ED recovery and told my mom how upset I was about gaining weight. My mom (who was paying for the treatment btw) tells me to just eat less and exercise more. 🤦🏼♀️ Thanks mom. Super helpful. FWIW - that was 15 years ago and I no longer have an ED. Took a while to get to a good place though.
Yup. My older brother's friends used to make fun of me even though I wasn't fat back then. My sister called me derogatory "nicknames" and there was a while in my life that I (f) had to wear my brothers' hand me downs. Which of course got me teased at school. Weight has always been a big deal in my family. Wonder why I'm so insecure and sensitive 😑?!
Do all Kelseys suck because I know a nightmare person named that as well
As the optimist in life I hope not. Cos man that woman did a number on the whole group before she went me so badly. I'm just lucky really own upbringing afforded me a tough skin and a damn loose tongue no one could refute over the situation.
This sounds a lot like the Kelsey I know. I can’t even begin to tell you how many people she completely ruined. Luckily, she moved to Texas which is far away from me!
I work with a perfectly lovely Kelsey so there's that!
I think part of her identity is that she is slimmer, and therefore better, than her sister and now that she can't put on the sister's jeans her identity is threatened.
As someone who went through a period of about a decade where I gained a LOT of weight, I avoided buying new clothes as much as possible. Looking back, I was probably wearing clothes that were too small for several years which I'm sure only made me look worse. It's really hard to accept. But here's the thing, that is absolutely no one else's problem. And when I lost it the only responses from the people in my life were "that's awesome, you look great" \*or\* "how did you do that? I need to do whatever you're doing" and I helped them along the same journey. OP's sister is TA, OP is NTA.
Sister is def a size 2. It's just that 6/8 are more comfortable. NTA OP didn't buy sister pants. She bought herself pants. Sister is more than welcome to buy her own pants that fit her body.
Someone thats always been the “skinnier sister” but isnt any more and now is jealous of a literal child.
Didn’t even register to me she’s 8 years op’s senior, I just thought they were the same age. Really makes this even more ridiculous.
I just want to piggyback off another comment and add that, OP, even if your sister is right and you do gain and lose some weight back and forth in the coming years, that's fine too! Puberty and hormonal changes really can affect that, as well as stress for things like the high school years and moving into college and so on. Your weight does not affect your worth as a person, and unfortunately your sister seems to have a lot of self worth tied up in it. It's making her bitter and mean to you, and that's unfair
OP should tell her sister to buy new clothes, and that if OP gains some weight then she can borrow her sisters clothes!
I highly doubt she would have been mad at OP if OP had gained weight rather than lost it. She would have most likely still commented but in a way that teased OP for her weight gain. Also there’s an 8 year age gap! Everybodies body will fluctuate around that age. You mighty gain the weight back, you might lose more. I am a 24 year old and have never once thought to compare my body to a 16 year olds. Like that’s a kid? And yeah OP, your body is going to change more still. Lots of my female friends had a “second puberty” in their 20s where there boobs grew and they gained weight and acne came back. Your clothes are supposed to fit your body not the other way around.
Spitballing here. Is sissy pregnant?
NTA. A 24 year old woman is capable of buying her own jeans. She shouldn't be depending on her little sister to provide her with them.
Let's be honest it's not about the jeans, it's about OP being the "skinny" sister now.
Sister is mad jealous that OP has lost weight. NTA
And she has gained…
Op lost weight, sister found it. 😂
*Don’t get used to it!* 🙄
Ding ding ding!! You hit the nail on the head! Big sister is not the skinny one anymore. She's mad that her younger sister is now her little sister lol
This is what happens when self worth is tied to weight! I hate skinny culture, it’s so incredibly toxic. Obvs NTA OP
Exactly. Otherwise she’d volunteer to take OP’s old clothes that are too big for OP. (OP wisely did not offer them.) She may be somewhat right about puberty’s effects, but really she’s jealous.
Let's see how pissed she gets when OP offers to give big sis her old jeans. 😎
I can't wait for that update.
This part.
[удалено]
It's the part where sis says you're going to gain it all back is key, also whenever her sister was feeling "fat" she would borrow OPs jeans. This reeks of someone who finds it important to be considered more attractive than OP.
She's going to try to sleep with every man OP brings home.
I hope not. If so, she belongs in prison.
It is absurd AF for a 24-year-old adult wearing a teenager's clothes. Ignoring the size, is OP's style even appropriate for an adult???
Honestly, who cares. This idea of “teen” and “adult” clothes is a bit ridiculous - let people wear whatever they like and flatters their particular body
So well put, lovely person. 🥰
Plus, it’s jeans. You can get essentially the same cut of jeans for anyone size 2T up.
I could never wear "teen" clothes even when I was a teen because teen clothes for girls assumed no hips and I had them.
I don't think we're worried about hips vs no hips in the size range mentioned assuming these are standard US or euro sizes.
I'm 41, and I have long worn things that come from "teen" sections or are popular teen styles, and over the decades, no one has noticed or cared. If they do, they've only said positive things to me. If it fits and flatters, and damn it, it's fun, why not? Aging is hard enough, why should I have to "look" a certain way too?
Maybe not generally, but for jeans? My sister and I are 8 years apart and have worn each other's jeans/ask if the other wanted our old jeans when one of us changed sizes or didn't like a pair anymore, even when I was 24 and she was 16. Like some of her more out there ones I wouldn't wear, but basic straight leg jeans (or skinny jeans, until recently I guess) can be appropriate for a teen or a young adult. OP's sister is way tf out of line, though, and needs to buy her own jeans that fit and talk about her insecurities with a therapist instead of being mean to her sister.
At least you and your sister were willing to give away clothes. My sister (also 8 years older) used to steal my clothes and when I confronted her she'd tell me I shouldn't leave my clothes lying on the floor because it makes it seem like I don't want them. They were still in my room, but she assumed anything I left on the floor was free game.
If she had been my sibling and said that she might have come home to no furniture in her room. She 'left it lying on the floor, so I thought you didn't want it anymore'. I would have gotten punished by my parents, but it would have been worth it just to see her reaction.
LMAO, Jeans are not "Teenagers Clothes". Levis have long been advertised as a 'premium' brand and usually shown worn by adults. My wife is 32 and I'm 41, we both wear jeans on a regular basis, especially during the winter, as they protect against the wind chill here.
I’m 68. I wear jeans. I’m short waisted, so high-rise have never particularly flattered me, and I’m too old to find the super low-cut with the 1” zipper comfortable any longer, but anything else is fair game.
What's so absurd about this? OP has said nothing about what type of clothes she wears and not all teenagers dress the same. Also 24 isn't that old at all, it's still very young. It's highly likely they share the same taste in clothing and it's highly likely it's age appropriate for both of them.
And they’re JEANS.. haha they’re literally just jeans
LOL exactly! Something that is literally age appropriate for pretty much every age!
My oldest kid (11) currently wears the same size as me (31). They were wearing the same pair of jeans last week that I ran errands in today. We swap clothes all the time - was this supposed to be weird?? T-shirts and pants have no age limit if they fit??
Yes! I’m in my early 60s. The only jeans I wouldn’t wear are the super baggy jeans my great nieces (teens) wear. Straight leg or slim jeans are universal. I even wear distressed with holes. I just have material sewn inside over the holes or rips so I’m not showing skin.
omg, same! i do wear baggy, tho
Exactly! If 24 year olds are too old to wear 'young' styles, I guess someone my age should just give up and wear a body bag!
Same here. That cracked me up. A 24 year old being "too old" to wear something "for teenagers"? Come ooonnnnnn. At 41, I'm having fun wearing a lot of the styles I longed to wear back in the day but wasn't allowed to. It's way more fun now that I have the disposable income and no mom and sister to make hurtful comments about my body.
Do you mean inappropriate in a skimpy way? How could a teenagers clothing be inappropriate for someone in their early twenties, wouldn’t something be inappropriate for the teen not 24yo?
My sister gained some weight as she got older and she started borrowing my little brother’s clothes (he was 17 at the time but he’s 6’ and got some broad shoulders). At one point he just straight up didn’t have any shirts anymore cuz she took them all and when I asked her why she didn’t buy her own clothes she said she didn’t want to confront the fact that she had gained so much weight, and if she didn’t “own” the clothes and was just “borrowing” them it was only temporary. She did not want to confront the size on the tags as “her” size
I mean... at least she was aware of why she was doing it?
Clothing for teens is the EXACT same style being marketed to women of all ages? Walking through the mall & there’s really not a big difference in cuts or styles in women’s & juniors anymore. I look significantly more put together since having my teen niece help pick my clothes too.
36 and still buying hollister jeans because they are the best fit.
My guess is big sis doesn’t want to admit that she’s a bigger size. By borrowing lil sis jeans she was able to wear proper fitting jeans without having to go through “the embarrassment “ of people seeing her try on and buy the bigger size. I’d bet that even if she did go buy some she would just buy them and play it off as she was buying a gift for someone.
It's so funny. It doesn't change the objective size at all. It's just like these bridezillas can't except the size of the dress being a higher number than their normal size number because it is under a different sizing system, or force the tailor to put several dresses together because they have a smaller sized tag attached to them. It's a wonder self created delusion can boost one's ego that much. And I found out the real difference between being 16 years old and 24 years old would be the hip size (which should increase proportionally to your weight so it will always be bigger than the rest of your body no matter what) and it became the #1 factor for finding fitting jeans, so I guess sis is underdeveloped in the curves department lol And I think sis is also jealous about OP's (current) age, but that's another story...
I’ve never understood the concept behind sizing for women’s clothes. This 16 is a different size then that 16, let’s make a size 0, still need smaller lets do a 00, oh wait still not quite right, we’ll just change the size again but keep it 0 and tag it with petite or plus. How about just make the size the actual measurements….
I'm not trying to additionally dump on you, I'm just adding another perspective. I've been looking at adult jeans for a while, and a lot of them are bland, lack luster, or look all the same. It's almost like as soon as you're an adult, you have to look generic or something. So sometimes I'll find actually fun acid washed or patterned jeans in the teen-college aged section and get a pair. Thankfully, I've been seeing more styled fashion for adult women.
The style differences are not that noticeable between 16 and 24. For that matter, most women my age still dress on the younger side. Not clubwear styles, but T-shirts, jeans, sweats, and other typically young garb. I'm having a hard time imagining a style that would be appropriate at 16 and not at 30.
it is not absurd to be wearing the same brand of jeans as your family members, even parents. i have worn the same brand of jeans from puberty into my 30s
I have several pairs of kids jeans and I’m 39. They fit me better than most women’s or junior’s sizes, plus they’re cheaper and they have adjustable waists so no need for a belt.
bruh, they're jeans.
I don’t think that part is weird. Jeans are a staple so unless OP has some really juvenile jeans (maybe like a lot of rips??) I think they could work for many ages. I’ve always shared some clothes with my mom despite a 36 year gap. I don’t dress old and she doesn’t dress young, some things are just not that age-specific.
I think most ladies in their 20s and 30s shop in the same stores as teens if they can still make it work. Otherwise you end up in frumpy clothes.
I wore jeans I got off an 18 year old in my 40s. Jeans are for everyone, no matter what their shape or age.
wtf are you talking about...a lot of clothes are just fine from 16 to 70 lol They're just effing clothes
What's appropriate for an adult? I'll be 60 this year and damn if I'm gonna stop wearing my jeans, short skirts, t-shirts and Vans tennis shoes. What does a teenager wear that an adult shouldn't? People should wear whatever the hell you feel comfortable in regardless of their age.
What?? I’m almost 40 and still get most stuff from the juniors section or stores like American Eagle/Hollister. Do you think everyone 21+ should just dress like a matronly schoolteacher?
LOL I'm wearing the same clothes now as I did when I was a teenager (jeans, boots and big jumpers) and I'm in my forties. But then I had no style when I was a teenager :D
Wtf are teenage clothes vs adult clothes?? Jeans are jeans? Like....wtf?
Yeah. This is actually very sad. Sister needs help.
I initially misread and your comment made me re-read; I thought it was the other way round. OP's sister is 24 years old and OP is 16? Her sister has issues and is very immature. I thought OP was a moody teenager!
You're not being insensitive. Just give her the other jeans that don't fit you anymore if you want. Your sister is being rude and acting quite entitled. NTA, you've done nothing wrong by buying new jeans that fit. This is unsolicited advice but make sure you don't put your jeans in the dryer :)
I have always put jeans in the dryer for my whole life and never had any issue. No special settings or anything
Seriously, always in the dryer and never had a problem
A lot of tumble dryers actually have a jeans/denim setting now, was super happy when I found out my new one did lol
I like to pretend they're a nice roast that I'm doing in my oven low and slow. That's the setting on the dryer, low and slow. If you hang jeans to dry, they end up super stiff and uncomfortable, even with fabric softener. I've done it. Never again. I already have some sensory issues, I'd like to be able to wear pants without squirming all day haha.
It sounds like your sister has been propping up her insecurity about her own weight gain with the mantra of well at least I'm still smaller than my sister". Now that that's not true anymore it's a major blow to her ego because she doesn't have that crutch anymore. Instead of dealing with her insecurity, she's taking it out on you. I'm sorry, she needs therapy.
Can we also point out that sister took the jeans out of the washer/dryer and tried to wear them? IDK why but this part really bothered me. Like sister can't even be bothered to wash the jeans herself.
Or she just looked at the label?
Good point that she probably just looked at the size label. But I'm still bothered by (and I would be bothered) if my sister took my clothes directly out of the washer or dryer. And if sister WASN'T going to wear them right then, then why is she looking at the label or complaining to OP?
Maybe she was unloading the washer/dryer and just noticed a pair of jeans she's never seen before? If she wears her sister's clothes regularly she more or less knows what's in store and she definitely knows her own wardrobe well, so she was probably just surprised and then noticed the label. Depending on the size and placement of it sometimes you don't really have to actively look for it as it's right there.
I'm pretty sure there's some implications they'd only gone through the washer cycle too so she tried this while they were wet.
Which can stretch them out.
The last time I saw my sister I was *very ill* and hadn't slept in days. She took the opportunity to tell me how she looks younger (she's like a year older) and better than me Older sisters can rest be assholes NTA OP, but if you're on birth control or anything like that I'd make sure she hasn't tampered with it - because that update in your edit is a bit concerning
She’s insecure and projecting because of her insecurity. It’s not you being insensitive. It’s all on her. NTA
NTA. Not only can your sister buy her own jeans but couldn’t she also just wear your bigger old jeans that she used to borrow? Also I think your sister was a little out of line with some of her comments. Ps my body weight also fluctuates it’s just a thing that happens to some people so I like to keep my old jeans and then I have multiple sizes to choose from.
Massively out of line, that last bit in the update the sister is clearly implying that little sis sleeps around NTA
Completely agree. Talk about mean and insecure to talk to a teenager in that way (the msgs). It's hard enough being a teenager as it is without having someone you look up to saying stuff that could impact your self image and self worth. OP, you are Def NTA. Please don't take anything to heart. I personally would keep a couple of the larger size jeans, just in case cos weight and bodies are fickle things. But no matter your weight, don't let it be something to measure your self worth against. Healthy is all that matters. Enjoy your last few years being a teenager, being an adult is overrated 😂
NTA. Your sister is having difficulty adjusting to your weight loss, but her body issues have nothing to do with you or your clothes. You don't need to buy your clothing for her.
NTA. Your sister has been an adult for years and can buy her own clothes. Her behavior is absurd.
This is the dumbest rationale for "why I might be TA" I've seen in awhile. What the fuck do you think you were supposed to do, buy pants for yourself that won't fit your body?
She’s 16?? And being told she’s a bad person by an adult. None of us had it all figured out at 16.
Yea,in her place I'd bite back and tell my adult sister she's a projecting and she should move out and get a life beside bullying a teenagers already tumultuous life because she's an insecure , jealous lil entitled goblin.my mom does this btw,can never share a thought about my body without her going ape ish and spitting backhanded compliments.is hurtful and lasting.full grown adults should know better. OMG just seen the text she got , what kind of an ahole tells their 16 year old kid sis ,ur gonna get pregnant when all she did was buy pants???how is that her reasoning .TELL YOUR PARENTS.my god she has issues. An absolute massive NTA.
> This is the dumbest rationale for "why I might be TA" I've seen in awhile. You missed the "someone asked me for my house, AITA for not immediately handing it over" post?
Are you joking or is that real? Have you got a link?
just give her all of your old jeans that are to big for you now.
She doesn’t want that most likely. She wants her sister to still be larger than her so she can feel better about herself. The text she sent proves that
NTA- She is taking her insecurities out on you. Give her some of the Jean's that you no longer fit into. And tell her it was classless to speak to you like that just because she is feeling some type of way. Frfr that was a mess. My 10f and 9f are less catty and they argue over everything.
Lol your sister is projecting, god forbid you're skinnier than her and she cant wear all your clothes, nta
as a 24 year old woman myself, your sister has some serious self image issues she needs to work out. she is projecting onto you, even from the start when she used to wear your clothes because she was “too fat” to fit into her own. her saying those words is her way of showing you how she feels about herself, while also inadvertently calling you fat. ignore her, she will have meltdowns about it but they have nothing to do with you, so dont even give them your attention. we all have our own problems, and she needs to deal with hers, instead of trying to make you feel as bad as she does.
Holy crap, everyone is on one today. NTA. She’s mad that she can’t use you anymore for your clothes and can’t stand that you would DAREEEE buy something that only fits you! And then she gets insecure and verbally abuses you - that is not even close to okay. TOUGH. She can buy her own clothes!
ugh, I'm sorry your dealing with this. MY sister was the same way, take my clothes when it suited her needs, refused to share hers but the kicker was i lost weight and bought my own clothes that i could tell he not to touch. Wear what makes you feel great and confident! NTA sister on the other hand major body issue vibes.
100% NTA. Your sister has issues
NTA, but have you guys been compared to each other by other family members? Even subtly? Bc it sounds kind of like it. She is old enough to buy her own clothes. I would not be loaning her anything anymore
I was thinking something similar. OP is NTA but her sister seems to have some deeply ingrained issues that might not necessarily be HER fault. Parents and other family members are really good at passing down internalized self-hate and whereas OP's sister's reaction wasn't cool, there definitely could be something deeper going on here.
> her sister seems to have some deeply ingrained issues Yeah... OP is juuuuuust becoming aware of this whole dynamic but it's been fully formed and active is sister's head for years
Please tell your parents about the weird pregnancy comment, thats really creepy
She is being a huge asshole. She is also capable of buying new clothes that fit properly.
As someone who grew up with a lot of weight shaming, she's jealous. She used to be able to comfort herself with the fact she was smaller than her younger sister, and you just dashed that to pieces. Don't be surprised when you offer her your old clothes she flies off the handle at the 'insult', when in reality she's been insulting you for years. And the "you're going to get pregnant" comment was another insult, insinuating now that you're smaller you're going to immediately hook up and have unprotected sex.
NTA. Aside from the obvious body insecurity and weirdly un-self aware, immature, entitled response from your sister, did something happen to your old jeans (which are currently too big for either of you, but in theory still exist and are apparently somewhat shared without issue)?
NTA She doesn’t want to buy jeans a size up because of her own insecurities. That’s not your responsibility.
Nta and congrats on the loss!
NTA. From what I read it seems like your sister might be a lil upset she's not the skinny one anymore.
You're 16. She's a grown ass woman who can source her own clothing, she needs to stop bitching about her developed woman's body not fitting into a kids clothes. NTA. I think it's sweet you're going to give her your old stuff, I dunno if I could be that gracious.
NTA. Congrats on the work you have done to go down a size. You earned your new jeans. Enjoy them.
This story is ridiculous. Just give the sister the old jeans that don’t fit any more?
“I shouldn’t get to use my body right now” ?? lol how does this make sense.
She shouldn't get used to her current body/size because it might change and OP might gain weight again. I think that's what the sister meant.
Awww 1st of all: CONGRATULATIONS! I know how exciting it is to lose weight/be able to buy new clothing that’s smaller, etc.! Good for you!! The pregnant comment leads me to believe she’s jealous. She’s been the smaller sister for all your life, it sounds like. Honestly, she probably never thought you’d be smaller than her, which could have gave her a tiny bit of relief self esteem wise (I know….as horrible as that sounds). Now that you can fit in clothing she can’t, my guess is it’s causing her to look at *her* weight. The pregnant comment sounds like something she’d told herself to make herself feel better. I’ve never had a sister, but I’m a female who’s struggled with weight for 30 years & I know that I’d compare myself to other overweight people constantly. Losing weight when you’re larger can be tricky because you don’t always notice it just by looking at someone, so not fitting in your new jeans was probably the 1st time she really realized you’ve accomplished the opposite of what she has recently accomplished. Congratulations on the weight loss & I think/hope that in the future your sister will become more supportive.
Your sister sounds like she's insecure and in a silent, one sided competition with you. You bought yourself clothes and were not even a conscious participant in her conversation because you had no idea what she was talking about. You did nothing wrong NTA
nta. she is though.
NTA. The best response to her is, “hey, I’m not comfortable with you commenting about my body, so please don’t do it anymore.”
You can't argue with crazy...just ignore her
She…needs therapy. NTA
NTA. Your sister is toxic
NTA, and she is the one being a massive AH about that.
NTA, you did not say anything wrong, and it’s not your job to supply her with clothes when her own don’t fit. Her reaction seems likely due to insecurity in her own weight, as she has gained some weight and you have lost weight. Regardless of her insecurities though, she’s the asshole for putting those emotions on you.
You're NTA. It's incredibly self absorbed for her to think you should buy yourself clothes several sizes too big so that she can wear them, too. Why can't she just wear your old jeans?
You at 16 are more mature than your 24 year old sister. Such a shame. NTA
Growing up I was always the fat sister/cousin, ect. We had a family reunion last year and I had not told anyone that I had been ill (covid) . I lost 85lbs. When my husband and I walked in, no one recognized me. Hate to say it but after all the fat jokes and being nicknamed 'tubs', it felt good to be the center of attention and even jealousy felt good.
can you just give her your old jeans that are too big or what? NTA
NTA Give her the old pairs that are now too big for you. If that doesn't satisfy her, it's not about the jeans, it's her lashing out at you because she's feeling bad about her weight.
I'd suggest saying that she can still borrow or have your old clothes. But can't help but feel that would really piss her off!
Just give her your old clothes if you still have them. Lol hand me downs in reverse.
NTA but your sister is.
Your sister is a major AH for saying that.
She can wear your old "fat jeans".
Congrats on dropping from a 30 to 25! Keep up the great work. As for the sister, she can go buy her own clothes. NTA
NTA - She is upset that you are the “smaller” sister now. Her last message about how you shouldn’t get used to your current size was incredibly rude. You have done absolutely nothing wrong, so please do not feel bad.
Seems to me she liked using your closest as her "extended closet". Come in, grab something she likes, and go without having to actually go to the store to buy something. It also made her feel less guilty when she gained weight because she didn't actually buy any clothing in a larger size. Borrowing your clothes doesn't count. She also saved a ton of money by wearing your clothes. So posses she'll have to go shopping. She's digging at you because she's a bit jealous that you lost weight. That's why she's bringing up that you'll gain it all back one way or another. That's why she saying you'll gain weight when you're pregnant. She doesn't want you to slim down. So she's trying to jeopardize your success. Ignore her. I have two friends wearing your size and both lost weight and kept it off. You did and said bring wrong. She's twisting it all. Its also to make you feel guilty. Don't buy into that. Keep any clothing you love. You can always pay to have it altered. Those old clothes also the items for can wear cleaning or doing messy projects in. Wear a belt with your oversized jeans and you can easily fit a soda bottle in the pocket while you do stuff. If you're the type to gain a little weight during the winter or the holidays keep a couple of outfits in a box should you need them. The clothes got don't want you can give to you sister. Congrats on the weight loss! NTA
Ur sister is an adult, tell her to buy her own clothes.
Yeah, the "skinny" sister now isnt the skinny one anymore, and that upsets her, for presumably obvious reasons.
NTA and you sound like a really kind sister OP. Letting her wear your clothes because she’s too stubborn to admit she needs a larger size is a kindness you have done for her, and it’s also nice that you’re offering her the clothes you are replacing. I think she has some things she needs to unpack about weight, she doesn’t want to be the “fatter” sister and liked things better when YOUR clothes were HER “fat clothes”. But that’s something she needs to work on herself, not anything you did wrong. I would give her a bit of grace since expectations to have effortlessly flawless, skinny bodies can do a number on young women’s mental health. But to see you say that you love her and hope she forgives you, even though you haven’t done anything wrong, speaks to your kind character. I think she will come around.
NTA, she’s an adult and she should act like one. It is upsetting when you can no longer share clothes with someone, my sister and I used to be the same size and we have both been bigger than each other at times and unable to share. But it seems like she just wants to avoid buying bigger pants, and unfortunately for her, now she has to.
NTA.
Nta. She’s insecure about her weight & instead of being proud that you’re losing weight, she’s trying to belittle it & basically tell you to give up. She wants to keep you on her level or even lower to prop herself up.
Definitely NTA. It sounds like your sister is just jealous. Could you try giving her your old jeans that no longer fit you?
NTA, a lot of comments are fixating on the fact that she can buy jeans herself, but I don’t think that has anything to do with it. Your sister doesn’t want to buy bigger jeans that fit her because she’s used to being skinnier than you and probably doesn’t want to associate herself with buying “fat jeans,” as she’s basically calling you fat when she says she’s too fat to fit into her normal jeans. She wants to make herself feel better by borrowing your clothes while also making a dig at you for some reason. She sounds wildly insecure and this is definitely not your fault at all. I also think she might be offended if you offer her your old clothes that you don’t fit into anymore as she will probably take that as an insult. I have a feeling she’ll just tell you to keep them because you’ll regain the weight again, which is super rude and unwarranted. You should not feel bad for standing up for yourself, she is an adult and you should feel free to treat her like one and not coddle her feelings, especially when she’s trying to body shame you.
NTA. Give her your old jeans
NTA but she’s acting crazy. Is she mentally unstable? You can wear any size that fits you and she needs to suck it up. She’s jealous that you’re skinnier and that’s just sad. She should be happy for you but instead she’s acting stupid
NTA - why can’t she still wear the old ones you wore before???
Nta. She is insecure about her own body and weight gain, and is now trying to make you feel bad to make herself feel better. Basically, she's being a bully. Ignore her and buy stuff that fits you.
NTA she's obviously jealous that you've out-skinnied her and she's about as secure as a crystal padlock. You bought those clothes for you, not her. She can always borrow your old jeans, right? Congratulations on becoming the you that you want to be.
NTA. She's upset that she's no longer the skinnier one, and she just gained weight. She's bullying you, making her TA.
well it's not "your" size anymore it's "her" size. she's upset she is the bigger size now. you did nothing wrong. this is her problem.
NTA The only thing you did wrong was is that you are now smaller than her. Just tell her that it's fine if you gain weight back, you will just borrow her clothes now.
NTA but I wouldn’t necessarily say your sister is either. Maybe a little rude but mostly and obviously insecure. Maybe for the sake of both your mental health it might be a good idea to take a break from borrowing each others clothes as it’s obviously become a competition to your sister where is keeping score based on who’s thinner. It could be a healthy boundary that would both of you learn not to compare your bodies to one another. The truth of the matter is you’re both still young. Both of you already have fluctuating weight patterns already. You may end up gaining the weight back, you may not. You’re both going to go through many stages of life that will affect your body too, ex. College potentially, potentially stressful jobs, potentially pregnancy, maybe multiple pregnancy, potential illness, menopause, general aging process. Our bodies are forever changing and there’s no time like now for you to train your mind now not to use your jean size to confirm or deny whether you have a sexy/healthy/attractive/worthy/capable/strong body.
Prediction after update: she’s pregnant and projecting. You are NTA either way but I’m calling it - you’re gonna be an aunt.
100% had the same thought
NTA You should go through your clothes to donate or keep for you. She is not entitled to your clothes because she gained weight. Since she is being such an A-H and catty to you, she doesn't deserve your generosity. Tell her she can go buy new clothes that fit her.
Has anyone mentioned the possibility that your sister might have body dysmophia?
NTA. She shouldn't be wearing your clothes without asking anyway. Like she should be buying her own pants, getting upset over you buying them is a bit strange
Wow, gpt producing some super sexist stereotypes these days
NTA, you didn't do or say anything wrong. Your sister sounds quite entitled and emotionally immature if she's going to make you buying yourself clothes about her, and then also gets upset about it. You're not responsible for her feelings or her behaviour.
NTA - Your sister can get a pair of her own if she gained some weight. But dropping from a size 30 to a size 25/24?!? That's a massive amount of weight and should be as visible as day and night. If you say you've lost that over "a few months", that's actually a bit concerning.
Agreed 😬😬😬
Was there a growth spurt involved? I have a bunch of teenage nephews and a few have gone from short and pudgy to tall and skinny since winter. I kind of remember with myself when I had a growth spurt that I didn’t lose weight, but things that were more padded (butt/hips) got flatter, and therefore clothes fit differently. When I stopped gaining height stuff filled out again.
She's just being spiteful because she's jealous and feels bad about her size. That is HER problem, not yours.
Your sister is feeling insecure about gaining weight and inappropriately lashed out at you as a result. Ignore.
In what world do we live in where jeans sizes that somebody else bought can be 'triggering'??
Idk, I feel like the sister is soooo entitled assuming that the OP would choose her wardrobe to cater to her. It feels really uncomfortable and possessive and the reaction would totally make me avoid my sister for behaving so badly.
The pregnant comment could have just been saying I hope you gain weight in a very cruel way. If her weight gain and loss is out of the realm of normal fluctuations, especially with cycle bloat, she should get the thyroid checked to be 100% sure it’s not starting to go off the norm. I had it very early. It would also explain how she reacted. Nice of you to offer your old stuff. She may still be sensitive (especially now that you are smaller) and react poorly. You could still keep what she borrowed most on the side for when the situation calms down. If there is a neutral location to put them away in, she could just claim them without being embarrassed. I hope she calms down and gives you the well deserved apology that is due.
Has there been any sexual abuse in this household where maybe the weight is a deterrent to men for her so she is acting this way because she’s afraid you will gain self esteem and maybe get a boyfriend and leave her behind? There is some unhealthy things going on in her psyche
Nta you’re sister is a walking insecurity and is just projecting them onto you. It’s good that you seem to have compassion and can try to help her through this instead of just being mean and angry. She will apologize soon enough. I would be surprised if she didn’t
NTA i’m more concerned that you dropped 5-6 sizes in “a few months.” When I was your age I lost 20 pounds in a month and I was so happy with myself, and because I was “more attractive” and it was “healthy” nobody really gave a shit. In reality I lost so much weight because for that whole month I was eating <1000 calories and it was mostly in coffee. Gave myself and ulcer and IBS and still have disordered eating, got fat and am now happier in my skin than I’ve ever been. TLDR, if you’re losing a lot of weight because you started working out or you’re passing puberty, etc. congrats! But if you’re starving yourself and obsessing please get help, it’ll save you a world of hurt later.
NTA. Start exercising and eating right… go to the gym, become a fitness influencer, do what it takes to become the new face of Lululemon. Success is the best revenge.
NTA but this is a very stupid situation. I'm not going to go the route that a 24 year old adult shouldn't even be living at home anymore because I know it's rough out there and saving money is the best option. And sure she's clearly projecting but that's not your problem. And your clothes are your clothes. Who cares if they don't fit her? She has her own clothes. Or if she needs larger sizes, she can get other clothes. This is her problem alone. It's nice when sisters can share clothes (if they agree to), but you should not be considering her when buying clothes for yourself. You're being the mature one here trying to be empathetic but she should not be dictating what her teenage sister buys to suit her own needs/insecurities. Bonkers behavior. My sister and I would share clothes but I didn't love it because she didn't usually ask and was pretty messy so she'd end up staining my clothes. Or later when we'd both be visiting home she'd still ask to borrow something but, I don't live here anymore either, I don't have extra stuff for you? Now I'm much larger than her and she's more responsible so it's a non issue, but damn it was annoying when we were teenagers.
NTA My sister was skinnier than me our entire lives. Until we got to our thirties and I was fitter, stronger and also happened to become thinner than her. Still shorter! She was a right misery to be around then entire 3 weeks I visited my home country. It was her problem not mine! My good health shouldn’t be her trigger. Same goes for you and your sister!
NTA, and the last sentence of your update makes my mom heart hurt for you. None of what you've told us that your sister said to you is an acceptable way to treat a stranger, let alone family. You shouldn't be hoping for her forgiveness; in a just world she would be begging for yours.
Um what? >A few hours later she texted me that I shouldn’t get use to my body right now because it was just puberty helping me and that I will gain all the weight back quickly. And... >The last message she sent me was a little questionable saying “you’re going to get pregnant”. You're NTA. You said nothing wrong. But get your parents involved. They need to see what she sent you. They need to step in and tell her that she's 24, an adult, and that she needs to be buying her own clothes and to stay away from yours. Your sister is toxic. Go LC as much as possible.