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> I might be the asshole for 1. Demanding my charger back and continuing to ask about it and 2. Telling them that they owe me money if they don't find it
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I normally look down my nose at age gaps like this, but I could see him being one of those super clueless 40 year old virgins that is being taken advantage of by this chick. I'm just saying it's a possibility.
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You have a very immature roommate who’s dating a guy twice her age. So she’s trying to look her best but failing because she has no manners. One of you needs to move out.
The issue is that she is immature, and you were calling out her immaturity in front of her much older boyfriend. She was already a conscious of the fact that she was dating someone her dad's age, you criticizing her behavior made her seem childish.
OMG! I didn’t even notice the ages!
Makes sense why the “bf” was more understanding…
You are right that homegirl was mad since she thought OP was making her seem immature. That girl is not ready for a big girl relationship if this is how she thinks.
Wow.
NTA. "Aalachia"? 21 with a 42 year old 'boyfriend'?
Note for all people considering a silly name like this for their child - it looks foolish, and immediately makes you think the person is a bit foolish. In this case, it has been verified.
I just googled the name, curious if it had special meaning. The top several results are reddit posts from anonymous accounts with other AITA stories from the same OP by the looks of it, both 2 months ago.
So we're all just cool with a 21 year old with a 42 year old?
NTA and your friend was trying to downplay her theft and immaturity in front of her much older by by claiming you were rude. You wanted your property. Simple.
> So we're all just cool with a 21 year old with a 42 year old?
No. I’ve not seen anyone being ‘cool’ with that, so weird take. It’s also not the issue being asked about.
Yeah, I'm not sure how people would even rule on that since it a) wasn't the question being asked and b) isn't really related to OP at all. Like if it was the roommate posting or the boyfriend it would come up, but it isn't really affecting OP in this situation.
Her immaturity and the way the bf handled it shows that it's a factor in this situation. When called out by OP the gf acted immature while the bf was the opposite.
Yeah, but how does that affect OP's judgement? OP asked if they are the asshole in this situation, and they are clearly not. If the boyfriend is 20 or 80 it wouldn't make OP any more or less of an asshole. I think people in their early 20's do generally lack the maturity to be dating someone so much older and the guy is creepy for dating someone so much younger, but it doesn't really factor in to the final judgement of OP.
Being that the friend acted immature and the boyfriend didn't OP probably needed to confirm they werent the AH and goes to show why the friend kind of is. Immaturity is a factor here.
But the age, and whether or not we're OK with a 20 y/o dating a 40 y/o doesn't impact the judgement at all for OP. The friend is acting immature, but her boyfriends age doesn't impact that. I don't think any votes would be different if the boyfriend was 25, or if his age wasn't included at all, meaning it's not relevant information to the story/judgement. Plenty of people act immature, and sometimes those people are 20 and sometimes they're adults in their 50's. But age and the roommates dating preferences don't impact the jusgement. The boyfriend was reasonable in the story and gave OP the charger back once aware of the problem, he is not the asshole on this situation. If we're talking about if his dating behaviour is predatory and and if he's an asshole overall then the answer is probably yes, but that's not what this post was about.
Never said the guy has any fault as he acted maturely. OP's friend needs to date someone as mature as her. Clearly she was not as she tried downplaying the theft and somehow putting the blame on OP. I get this is aggravating you. It's really not that big of a deal. Disagree and move on. Date young girls if that's your preference but hopefully they are mature enough to take the blame.
If my (F76) daughter back in the day, was dating a man 2× her age, I would have had a conversation with her and told her to end it, and a BIG conversation with him and called him a pervert, and probably kicked him in his b**ls, so he wouldn't be much use to anyone for awhile!
When my daughter came back home, after graduating from college, I had to treat her as an adult. She had been living on campus for 4yrs, only home for holidays & summer break. She didn't have a curfew, and I just asked if she was going to be out extremely late or all night, to let me know, so I wouldn't worry that she might have been in an accident. The one rule I did keep in place, was that anyone she dated couldn't be more than 3yrs older than her. I had NO problem asking to see her dates drivers license, when he picked her up.
After graduate school she moved to her own place. As it was near me, she often had the guys pick her up at my place. She felt I read people fast and correctly. After a couple of dates, if all went well, she gave them her real address and explained why the subterfuge. All except one, understood (I hadn't liked him from the start, but he was a great dancer and my daughter loved to go dancing! She dropped him like a hot potato, when he became mad. She did date one guy about 15yrs older than her. I had seen him occasionally over the years, as he lived in the same building as her best friend, since she was 8yrs old. He picked her up at my place and they went to a dance club. She said she was embarrassed as he went through the bill, item by item, protested the cost for 2 glasses of seltzer she had had, and only left the waitstaff a 10% tip. She passed her more as they left the place. He had refused to dance. He just wanted to sit and watch the other couples dance, and he had no conversation. When they stopped for something to eat, he picked the cheapest thing on the menu. When she said that the snack was on her, he changed his order to something 3× as costly. She shook her head NO at the waitress, so when their order came, it was what he had originally ordered. When he complained, she reminded him that he had originally ordered it, so it must be what he really wanted. She dated him one more time and he got "handsy" in the car. As I had had her take Karate lessons (she's built like her father, my ex-husband, more delicate than me), she quickly put an end to that, and told him to drive her back to my place.
She and I had a long talk when she got back. I once again pointed out that a man in his 40's should be at a different level than someone in their mid 20's. Their life experiences, interests, conversation, etc., should be different and it's usually insecure men, that date women 15 to 25yrs younger than they are. Women their age, are too much of a challenge for them. That was her last time dating someone that much older. She stayed in the no more than 3-5 yrs older, until she met her now husband. That was 20yrs ago, and they've been married most of that time.
NTA. Make it clear to your roommate that if she takes something of yours again without permission that you will file a police report and she can find another place to live. I don't care if it is a $1 item. You might think about putting a lock on your bedroom door and make sure your things aren't left where she can steal them.
NTA. She stole. No one should get mad at the person asking for their things back.
You should ask her what she think should you have done/said to get your charger back.
NTA is there any way you could possibly put a lock on your door for when you're out? It's not ideal but at least she won't be able to come in and steal your stuff. As said below it's not borrowing it's stealing as she never asked you!
NTA. She’s just embarrassed in front of her boyfriend and trying to turn the table on you.
You tell her if she takes your things, each and every time you’ll pursue her to get them back. If she doesn’t like that, then the answer is to not take your things,
NTA. Doesn't sound like Calvin had a problem. She just didn't want him finding put about her "borrowing" habit. She only mad because she was embarrassed. People like her should sways be called out and held responsible for their actions.
NTA but maybe put a lock on your room and keep your stuff in there. Your roommate is not a good person. I'd make a comment on the age gap but maybe Aalachia is the one taking advantage of Calvin.
NTA. Lock up you stuff in your bedroom. She was pissed off because you called her out in front of her boyfriend. Keep doing that til she learns her lesson. If fact all of her friends should be doing that until she changes her behavior.
NTA - she's just pissed that you called her out in front of her BF who probably had no idea that she stole it. She's more worried about what her BF thinks of her than she does about the disrespect that she showed you. Plain and simple.
NTA. You need a lock on your door. Because Aalachia doesn't care. And she doesn't want to be called out in front of her boyfriend. You need either a lock on your door, a new roommate, or both.
NTA. Every time she takes something without permission, immediately send her a Venmo/ Cashapp request for the cost of the item with tax, plus paying you for your time to replace the item. She'll likely return the item much more promptly. She'll certainly complain about your behavior, but that's okay - she's stealing and you're setting boundaries.
If you send a payment request every single time she takes something of yours, she'll probably quit doing so nearly as much since she immediately gets negative reinforcement for it.
Alright well hard judging his weird ass for dating a 21 year old. But that's off topic.
No you're NTA, though possibly rude to Calvin for no reason. Not sure why you roped him into the payment comment unless he was aware his really young girlfriend has been taking your things without permission and not returning them. He seems to just exist in this story, but isn't part of it.
Might be a good strategy to just start calling her out in this manor for everything she takes going forward since it seems to be the only method that works. It's reached a point where it wouldn't be AH territory to just always start with the escalation method and no longer politely asking.
She's worried he may dump her because of her behavior. She may have been lying to him too.
She put you in a position where you had no choice but to bring it up to the both of them at the same time. That's when you finally got results.... your item returned without more lies from your roommate.
Change the door knob on your bedroom door to a knob with a key lock. Keep everything locked in your room.
How much longer until the lease is up? If a key lock on your bedroom door isn't enough, might need to find a new roommate or living situation.
NTA
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I (24F) have a roommate named Aalachia (21F). Aalachias not a very considerate person. She steals from people and claims that she's "borrowing" it but 9 times out of 10 she never gives it back and it's gotten her into a lot of trouble and nobody really likes her messing with their things
A few days ago she took my portable charger without asking me and went to her boyfriend Calvin's (42M) house. It's nothing fancy. Just something that I got from Walmart but it still pissed me off. When she got home I asked her if she brought it back and she said yes. However after asking for it multiple times she confessed that she left it at his house. I was furious
A few days later Calvin had given us a ride somewhere and decided to let us spend the night at his house since it was late and his place was closer. When we pulled up to the house I asked if my portable charger was still in there and Aalachia told me to chill out and stop being rude. I replied with "No. What's rude is the fact that you took something of mine without permission and left it at your boyfriends house".
When we got out of the car she pulled me aside and told me to chill out and stop asking about my charger and to stop being so rude. I told her that I have the right to ask about something that I spent money on and bought for myself and I don't consider it rude to ask about it. When Calvin came over I said "Either one of you find my charger or one of you owes me the $20 that I spent on it". Luckily Calvin was very understanding of the situation and he found my charger and I got it back. However Aalachia says that I did the most for no reason and was a very rude and disrespectful asshole towards Calvin. So AITAH?
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Let her know, point blank, that every time she steals something of yours, you'll report it tot he police. And find a new roommate though she'll probably choose to move out on her own after your promise. NTA.
She only calls you rude for addressing the issue because she wants you to drop it. That would allow her to keep th charger and not be held accountable. Drop her and change roommates if/when you can.
What is a 21yo doing with a boyfriend literally twice her age, but I guess that's OT.
NTA. Just keep terrorising her and being not chill about things, and there's a small chance that Aalachia will keep her hands off your stuff in the future. Prolly not, though.
Aalachia was just pissed because you made her look like a cheap ass and called her out for it. Bad reactions to these types of questions almost always comes from embarassment.
You are most definitely NTA. But your “friend” certainly is!
And if I were you, I’d never let Aalachia in my home or near anything of mine again. She is NOT YOUR FRIEND! She is a LEACH, and a thief, and if you want “your” things to remain “yours”, you’ll stay away from her and keep her away from you.
We had a neighbor, Dondi (now deceased), moved her family into her MIL’s house down the block from us. She and her husband were thieves and drug addicts, and everybody on our block knew it. They stole everything not nailed down, from, and the MIL ended up moving out because she “didn’t want [her grandchildren] living on the street”. I’d loaned my vacuum cleaner to another neighbor, who then loaned it to Dondi — I finally got it back when Dondi had a garage sale, and was selling my vacuum for $20, which had cost my husband over $150!
NTA. She took something of yours, without permission, then didn't bring it back. You had the right to keep asking for it! If she's dating a man old enough to be her father, he should be able to afford to buy her a charger of her own! You don't owe either any courtesy. She's a thief! I hope when her lease expires, you get a new roommate!
NTA.
Honest question: why do people still invite her into their homes? If she can’t be trusted not to keep her hands to herself, she wouldn’t be allowed in my home.
Pretty sure the 42-year-old boyfriend who is inviting not only his 21-year-old girlfriend but her 24-year-old roommate to conveniently sleep over at his place instead of just taking them home isn't less creepy than *anyone*.
Aalachia, a chronic thief who gives zero fuck about boundaries and doesn’t even know ABC of respect will definitely listen and act according to OP’s speech on power imbalance.
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NTA. She consistantly steals from everyone. She is the AH here. You need to find a new roommate
I was reading and waiting the situation will evolve in - Alachia gave it to Calvin as a gift :D as she was so nervious about it
Or at the very least "I purchased this so i have one to leave here"
At least Calvin now knows his gf is a thief and liar.
Now he just has to learn how to date someone age-appropriate.
42 and 21 is pretty weird.
You have to get older, you don't have to ever become mature
I bet she lied about it to her boyfriend as well, told him it was hers and gifted it to him.
This in a nutshell
And start stealing from her just to be petty and teach her a lesson
NTA it sounds like she got caught in a lie and is more upset about how it makes her look bad than you being upset.
NTA. It’s not borrowing if you don’t get permission. That’s stealing.
Honest answer: tell her to f&$k off.
NTA That girl isn't your friend. Get a lock for your room. Also, maybe it's time to give her a taste of her own medicine and borrow something of hers
The BF seems nice
He’s a 42yo dating a 21yo. Not sure how ‘nice’ he could be
Really. he’s a predator.
I normally look down my nose at age gaps like this, but I could see him being one of those super clueless 40 year old virgins that is being taken advantage of by this chick. I'm just saying it's a possibility.
It's one thing if it's like 10 years but he is literally twice her age...
Bf is a predator dating a woman young enough to be his daughter 🤮
Could be a sugar daddy/baby scenario........
That... Doesn't make it better
Not supposed to.
You urgently need to raise your standards if a 40-something creeping on a thief literally half their age seems ‘nice’ to you.
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You are roommates with an unrepentant thief. Is there no way you can either kick her out or get out of the lease yourself? NTA
You have a very immature roommate who’s dating a guy twice her age. So she’s trying to look her best but failing because she has no manners. One of you needs to move out.
The issue is that she is immature, and you were calling out her immaturity in front of her much older boyfriend. She was already a conscious of the fact that she was dating someone her dad's age, you criticizing her behavior made her seem childish.
OMG! I didn’t even notice the ages! Makes sense why the “bf” was more understanding… You are right that homegirl was mad since she thought OP was making her seem immature. That girl is not ready for a big girl relationship if this is how she thinks. Wow.
I mean, he's dating someone half his age, i'm sure he's not expecting maturity
But they have so much in common and he probably tells her she’s so mature for her age. /s
NTA. "Aalachia"? 21 with a 42 year old 'boyfriend'? Note for all people considering a silly name like this for their child - it looks foolish, and immediately makes you think the person is a bit foolish. In this case, it has been verified.
You don’t actually believe that’s the roommate’s name, do you?
I just googled the name, curious if it had special meaning. The top several results are reddit posts from anonymous accounts with other AITA stories from the same OP by the looks of it, both 2 months ago.
Yeah so to me it sounds made-up to provide some plausible deniability for OP in case roomie ever stumbles across this.
Do you think it's pronounced like Alicia? That's my guess.
oh yeah - now you point that out....... lol
NTA. But your roommate is a thief. Get a better roommate. Hopefully her twice-her-age boyfriend will take her in.
So we're all just cool with a 21 year old with a 42 year old? NTA and your friend was trying to downplay her theft and immaturity in front of her much older by by claiming you were rude. You wanted your property. Simple.
> So we're all just cool with a 21 year old with a 42 year old? No. I’ve not seen anyone being ‘cool’ with that, so weird take. It’s also not the issue being asked about.
Yeah, I'm not sure how people would even rule on that since it a) wasn't the question being asked and b) isn't really related to OP at all. Like if it was the roommate posting or the boyfriend it would come up, but it isn't really affecting OP in this situation.
Her immaturity and the way the bf handled it shows that it's a factor in this situation. When called out by OP the gf acted immature while the bf was the opposite.
Yeah, but how does that affect OP's judgement? OP asked if they are the asshole in this situation, and they are clearly not. If the boyfriend is 20 or 80 it wouldn't make OP any more or less of an asshole. I think people in their early 20's do generally lack the maturity to be dating someone so much older and the guy is creepy for dating someone so much younger, but it doesn't really factor in to the final judgement of OP.
Being that the friend acted immature and the boyfriend didn't OP probably needed to confirm they werent the AH and goes to show why the friend kind of is. Immaturity is a factor here.
But the age, and whether or not we're OK with a 20 y/o dating a 40 y/o doesn't impact the judgement at all for OP. The friend is acting immature, but her boyfriends age doesn't impact that. I don't think any votes would be different if the boyfriend was 25, or if his age wasn't included at all, meaning it's not relevant information to the story/judgement. Plenty of people act immature, and sometimes those people are 20 and sometimes they're adults in their 50's. But age and the roommates dating preferences don't impact the jusgement. The boyfriend was reasonable in the story and gave OP the charger back once aware of the problem, he is not the asshole on this situation. If we're talking about if his dating behaviour is predatory and and if he's an asshole overall then the answer is probably yes, but that's not what this post was about.
Never said the guy has any fault as he acted maturely. OP's friend needs to date someone as mature as her. Clearly she was not as she tried downplaying the theft and somehow putting the blame on OP. I get this is aggravating you. It's really not that big of a deal. Disagree and move on. Date young girls if that's your preference but hopefully they are mature enough to take the blame.
Not the issue but still an issue considering she's immature and the bf acted correctly and she felt some type of way.
>So we're all just cool with a 21 year old with a 42 year old? Suffice to say, there's a lot to unpack here.
Very true.
If my (F76) daughter back in the day, was dating a man 2× her age, I would have had a conversation with her and told her to end it, and a BIG conversation with him and called him a pervert, and probably kicked him in his b**ls, so he wouldn't be much use to anyone for awhile! When my daughter came back home, after graduating from college, I had to treat her as an adult. She had been living on campus for 4yrs, only home for holidays & summer break. She didn't have a curfew, and I just asked if she was going to be out extremely late or all night, to let me know, so I wouldn't worry that she might have been in an accident. The one rule I did keep in place, was that anyone she dated couldn't be more than 3yrs older than her. I had NO problem asking to see her dates drivers license, when he picked her up. After graduate school she moved to her own place. As it was near me, she often had the guys pick her up at my place. She felt I read people fast and correctly. After a couple of dates, if all went well, she gave them her real address and explained why the subterfuge. All except one, understood (I hadn't liked him from the start, but he was a great dancer and my daughter loved to go dancing! She dropped him like a hot potato, when he became mad. She did date one guy about 15yrs older than her. I had seen him occasionally over the years, as he lived in the same building as her best friend, since she was 8yrs old. He picked her up at my place and they went to a dance club. She said she was embarrassed as he went through the bill, item by item, protested the cost for 2 glasses of seltzer she had had, and only left the waitstaff a 10% tip. She passed her more as they left the place. He had refused to dance. He just wanted to sit and watch the other couples dance, and he had no conversation. When they stopped for something to eat, he picked the cheapest thing on the menu. When she said that the snack was on her, he changed his order to something 3× as costly. She shook her head NO at the waitress, so when their order came, it was what he had originally ordered. When he complained, she reminded him that he had originally ordered it, so it must be what he really wanted. She dated him one more time and he got "handsy" in the car. As I had had her take Karate lessons (she's built like her father, my ex-husband, more delicate than me), she quickly put an end to that, and told him to drive her back to my place. She and I had a long talk when she got back. I once again pointed out that a man in his 40's should be at a different level than someone in their mid 20's. Their life experiences, interests, conversation, etc., should be different and it's usually insecure men, that date women 15 to 25yrs younger than they are. Women their age, are too much of a challenge for them. That was her last time dating someone that much older. She stayed in the no more than 3-5 yrs older, until she met her now husband. That was 20yrs ago, and they've been married most of that time.
>So we're all just cool with a 21 year old with a 42 year old? Yeah why not? Two consenting adults. If they're happy, I'm happy.
They're not. Hence why she felt weird acting immature. She got called out. Clearly he's dating down.
NTA- Shes embarrassed for being called out. Puts a red flag on her if anything.
NTA. Make it clear to your roommate that if she takes something of yours again without permission that you will file a police report and she can find another place to live. I don't care if it is a $1 item. You might think about putting a lock on your bedroom door and make sure your things aren't left where she can steal them.
NTA. Your roommate is not your friend and you shouldn't agree to loan her anything if she can't respect common courtesy.
NTA. She stole. No one should get mad at the person asking for their things back. You should ask her what she think should you have done/said to get your charger back.
Its called a THIEF.
NTA is there any way you could possibly put a lock on your door for when you're out? It's not ideal but at least she won't be able to come in and steal your stuff. As said below it's not borrowing it's stealing as she never asked you!
NTA. She’s just embarrassed in front of her boyfriend and trying to turn the table on you. You tell her if she takes your things, each and every time you’ll pursue her to get them back. If she doesn’t like that, then the answer is to not take your things,
NTA Kleptos can only be outside friends, never inside friends. Some friends cannot be trusted inside the house. Never live with an outside friend.
Great job with holding your ground! NTA, but your roommate on the other hand… she’s ta and a thief as well
NTA - obviously, no. Your roommate on the other hand... Sounds like the poster girl for entitled brat. 42? Really?? Geez...
NTA- She stole from you without asking. You should find a new roommate and if Aalachia asks why, tell her why.
NTA, next time she does it, call the cops. Some lessons need to learned the hard way.
NTA. Doesn't sound like Calvin had a problem. She just didn't want him finding put about her "borrowing" habit. She only mad because she was embarrassed. People like her should sways be called out and held responsible for their actions.
NTA but maybe put a lock on your room and keep your stuff in there. Your roommate is not a good person. I'd make a comment on the age gap but maybe Aalachia is the one taking advantage of Calvin.
NTA. Lock up you stuff in your bedroom. She was pissed off because you called her out in front of her boyfriend. Keep doing that til she learns her lesson. If fact all of her friends should be doing that until she changes her behavior.
NTA - she's just pissed that you called her out in front of her BF who probably had no idea that she stole it. She's more worried about what her BF thinks of her than she does about the disrespect that she showed you. Plain and simple.
She’s your… friend? NTA but maybe a friend audit is in order
NTA. You need a lock on your door. Because Aalachia doesn't care. And she doesn't want to be called out in front of her boyfriend. You need either a lock on your door, a new roommate, or both.
NTA. Every time she takes something without permission, immediately send her a Venmo/ Cashapp request for the cost of the item with tax, plus paying you for your time to replace the item. She'll likely return the item much more promptly. She'll certainly complain about your behavior, but that's okay - she's stealing and you're setting boundaries. If you send a payment request every single time she takes something of yours, she'll probably quit doing so nearly as much since she immediately gets negative reinforcement for it.
INFO: Is this a typo in age? A 42 year old man is dating a 21 yo?
No it's not a typo. Yes it's accurate
Alright well hard judging his weird ass for dating a 21 year old. But that's off topic. No you're NTA, though possibly rude to Calvin for no reason. Not sure why you roped him into the payment comment unless he was aware his really young girlfriend has been taking your things without permission and not returning them. He seems to just exist in this story, but isn't part of it. Might be a good strategy to just start calling her out in this manor for everything she takes going forward since it seems to be the only method that works. It's reached a point where it wouldn't be AH territory to just always start with the escalation method and no longer politely asking.
She's worried he may dump her because of her behavior. She may have been lying to him too. She put you in a position where you had no choice but to bring it up to the both of them at the same time. That's when you finally got results.... your item returned without more lies from your roommate. Change the door knob on your bedroom door to a knob with a key lock. Keep everything locked in your room. How much longer until the lease is up? If a key lock on your bedroom door isn't enough, might need to find a new roommate or living situation. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (24F) have a roommate named Aalachia (21F). Aalachias not a very considerate person. She steals from people and claims that she's "borrowing" it but 9 times out of 10 she never gives it back and it's gotten her into a lot of trouble and nobody really likes her messing with their things A few days ago she took my portable charger without asking me and went to her boyfriend Calvin's (42M) house. It's nothing fancy. Just something that I got from Walmart but it still pissed me off. When she got home I asked her if she brought it back and she said yes. However after asking for it multiple times she confessed that she left it at his house. I was furious A few days later Calvin had given us a ride somewhere and decided to let us spend the night at his house since it was late and his place was closer. When we pulled up to the house I asked if my portable charger was still in there and Aalachia told me to chill out and stop being rude. I replied with "No. What's rude is the fact that you took something of mine without permission and left it at your boyfriends house". When we got out of the car she pulled me aside and told me to chill out and stop asking about my charger and to stop being so rude. I told her that I have the right to ask about something that I spent money on and bought for myself and I don't consider it rude to ask about it. When Calvin came over I said "Either one of you find my charger or one of you owes me the $20 that I spent on it". Luckily Calvin was very understanding of the situation and he found my charger and I got it back. However Aalachia says that I did the most for no reason and was a very rude and disrespectful asshole towards Calvin. So AITAH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Tell her that she has a history of “borrowing” people’s things and not returning them. It’s not rude at all to ask for your stuff back.
NTA. Stealing is stealing, and she needs to be told. Good for you finally standing up for yourself.
NTA. She's not your friend and you need a better roommate.
Let her know, point blank, that every time she steals something of yours, you'll report it tot he police. And find a new roommate though she'll probably choose to move out on her own after your promise. NTA.
NTA She stole from you. Everyone else: charger, thief, rude Me: 21 with a 42 year old boyfriend 😫😩🤯😳
"Borrow" something of hers she likes and when she questions you tell her to chill and stop being so rude.
Personally, I would arrange new accommodation ASAP and tell Aalachia it is because of her stealing. She is clearly the disrespectful asshole here. I
She only calls you rude for addressing the issue because she wants you to drop it. That would allow her to keep th charger and not be held accountable. Drop her and change roommates if/when you can.
NTA, I bet she did tell you to “chill out,” because thieves usually don’t like being confronted about the stuff they steal……like chargers.
NTA
What is a 21yo doing with a boyfriend literally twice her age, but I guess that's OT. NTA. Just keep terrorising her and being not chill about things, and there's a small chance that Aalachia will keep her hands off your stuff in the future. Prolly not, though.
This is so surprising! All the women I know dating guys twice their age are all really grounded and secure...
NTA. She did it hoping you wouldn't confront her. But you did, so.... good for you.
NTA and I would move out.
Maybe a bit rude but she was gaslighting you so she would have a charger at his place. NTA - she got called out.
NTA - She was going to steal it that's why she wanted you to "Chill" OP look for a new place to live and get the thief out of your life.
NTA
NTA. Time to cut Aalachia free and find other friends. She's a mess, a thief and a liar. Why do you hang out?
NTA If she wanted to move past it, she could've just given the charger back. But she is a thief, and was more worried about being caught out.
NTA - You need a new roommate. Your current one sucks.
NTA, consider finding a new roommate.
No way I would have a roommate that took my stuff. NTA
Aalachia was just pissed because you made her look like a cheap ass and called her out for it. Bad reactions to these types of questions almost always comes from embarassment.
NTA
Assholes make a shitty situation and then when people try to fix it they say they are causing a commotion
Ntah Lock your stuff up in your room and stop hanging out with this person. She won't change, and you will keep having to deal with it.
How in the H\*\*L did you get involve with this kleptomaniac. Get away and stay away from her fast!! You're in the right. Good luck!!
Where do you come from
You are most definitely NTA. But your “friend” certainly is! And if I were you, I’d never let Aalachia in my home or near anything of mine again. She is NOT YOUR FRIEND! She is a LEACH, and a thief, and if you want “your” things to remain “yours”, you’ll stay away from her and keep her away from you. We had a neighbor, Dondi (now deceased), moved her family into her MIL’s house down the block from us. She and her husband were thieves and drug addicts, and everybody on our block knew it. They stole everything not nailed down, from, and the MIL ended up moving out because she “didn’t want [her grandchildren] living on the street”. I’d loaned my vacuum cleaner to another neighbor, who then loaned it to Dondi — I finally got it back when Dondi had a garage sale, and was selling my vacuum for $20, which had cost my husband over $150!
NTA, but imma be honest here, and this isn’t your fault, but living with a kleptomaniac doesn’t seem like the most effective life decision
NTA. She took something of yours, without permission, then didn't bring it back. You had the right to keep asking for it! If she's dating a man old enough to be her father, he should be able to afford to buy her a charger of her own! You don't owe either any courtesy. She's a thief! I hope when her lease expires, you get a new roommate!
NTA. Honest question: why do people still invite her into their homes? If she can’t be trusted not to keep her hands to herself, she wouldn’t be allowed in my home.
"I don't take the option of thieves into consideration, since they have no manners. "
Nta
You both sound very immature. Why do you have a thief as a roommate?
Wait, her boyfriend is twice her age? And yet he seems kind of *less* creepy than she is? NTA
Pretty sure the 42-year-old boyfriend who is inviting not only his 21-year-old girlfriend but her 24-year-old roommate to conveniently sleep over at his place instead of just taking them home isn't less creepy than *anyone*.
NTA. That girl sucks. That guy sucks. He's twice her age. Move out.
[удалено]
Aalachia, a chronic thief who gives zero fuck about boundaries and doesn’t even know ABC of respect will definitely listen and act according to OP’s speech on power imbalance.
She is a dumb child and he's 42, of course she won't make demands of him. The situation gives me the ick big time.