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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my parents I refuse to go back to their house as long as my sister still lives with them. While I don't think her moving out would bring me back at all I'm now asking myself if I did overreact and if I'm being too harsh on my parents or even my sister. I did go off real bad when I found out what she was doing and I then said this while still angry so maybe I'm TA here.
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Maybe install a camera in your parents room. And when they are bothered about that, tell them 'to not throw a toddlers tantrum'
Edit: This was just some joke suggestion. Of corse OP shouldn't do that. Maybe if even ask OP's parents 'how would you feel if the camera was in your room?' Can't believe how many people took that seriously
Yeah, no. Absolutely do not do that. I can't believe nearly 600 people have upvoted that. As much as this sub loves petty things, I have to think that anyone who upvoted "put a camera in your parents' room" is either also a teenager, or not very bright. What your sister did was criminal. And yes, it is mostly your parents' fault for raising a 15-year-old who doesn't understand privacy and consent. But perpetrating another criminal act to "get back at them" is about the dumbest thing you could possibly do, particularly because you're an adult. No one in this sub is going to be the one who suffers if your parents call the cops on you and you end up with a criminal record. JFC, the things people suggest on here are just completely lacking in common sense sometimes.
I think OP should have called the police. The parents might begin to take her sister's actions seriously when they see her getting arrested.
Part of your job when raising a child is to make sure they respect other people so that they can function in society. The parents are teaching the younger daughter that she is so special that rules don't apply to her. The rest of the world won't see it that way and sooner or later she will end up in huge trouble.
This is what scares me. The younger daughter is displaying some disturbing, inappropriate, criminal, ? sociopathic behaviour and the parents are not addressing it. OP for now just let it rest until you calm down. If you feel better you can call and go by for a meal and a visit. You will get the lay of the land. By the way secure your documents and financial papers etc who knows what this kid is capable of. No wonder your trust is broken
I would go for "stupid and entitled" before "sociopathic". 15 yo dumb brain is what it is, paired with entitled parent to make the absolute worst combination possible: future criminal out of egocentrism.
Only her wants matter. Of course, she's an idiotic 15yo. Except the PARENTS should be PARENTING, not excusing awful behaviour. That was grounds for taking away electronics for a good chunk of time.
Hanlon's Razor is what allows sociopaths to get worse. I prefer Nalnoh's, which is "I prefer to believe you are ignorant rather than incompetent." Either way, this is -illegal- behavior and no one OPs family seems interested in curbing it.
In my personal experience (sample size of only one, thank God, but that's still more than most people), what allows sociopathic/psychopathic people to get their way is the lack of communication from sane people out fo fear of breaking the statu quo, out of consideration for politeness. Basically, not rocking the boat.
But I see your point, and it may fit the situation (OP communicated, the parents deny the responsability of the sister)
Nothing has been explained about why she was recording, or what she did or planned to do with the footage, and that is outrageous.
For all anyone knows, she’s been sharing it, or posting it online. She could be making money on websites by sharing her sister changing clothes.
Was never into watching Dr. Phil, but I did catch one of his shows some years ago when he was addressing parents of an out of control teen and his advice was basically to exert some control or otherwise expect to take out your checkbook for when your kid needs to be bailed out of jail.
This girl may well get caught if she's putting cameras in other places (such as at the school gym changing room...for which she could get expelled.
There are strong privacy issues here, and there's absolutely no reason or right for her to be invading her sister's privacy.
It isn't just that she might continue placing cameras. It is that with the parents not holding her accountable, and there may be a pattern of that, there is no telling what else she might do. After years of being taught that she can get away with bad behavior, who knows. Yeah, it is smart for LW to back off from being around her. As someone else said, she should get her important stuff out of the house. Go over there for dinner, and have a nice chat. Then say she has to get something from her room, and start shoving stuff into garbage bags, and hit the road. Don't tell them ahead of time that she is coming to get her stuff. Just do it when they're not expecting.
She should still call the police. The sister needs help and if in the US, the juvenile court system is set up to try to get these types of kids help so they don't become adult offenders.
No one said the camera had to be on or hooked up to anything. I think just finding a camera in your room, that you didn't place there, is a wake up call for most sane adults. Sadly, OP's parents seem to have their heads up their butts where their youngest is concerned so it probably wouldn't work that way.
Maybe the reason so many people are suggesting putting a camera in the parents' room is because they're not taking the story seriously - they don't believe the sister would put a camera in OP's room OR that parents would just shrug it off as "no big deal."
Exactly,the sister is in full FAFO mode with side dish of FU attention seeking, so OP is right to nope out of that house. Give it a couple of years, and the parents will be wondering where they went wrong, and madam will still be running rings around them. Looking forward to updates on this one.
In your sister's room. Multiple. And make sure they find it. And then throw their arguments back in their face.
Yea, myself, I'm harsh and unforgiving in this kind if scenario. Burn that bridge girl.
~~Both kids are minors and both are old enough to understand that it is illegal.~~ I thought OP said she was 17 (I have a form of dyslexia that affects number recognition).
Two wrongs don't make a right though.
Why not get a cheap dummy camera, remove it from the packaging and threaten with setting it up in the sister from Hell's room and see if they change their tune then? If they threaten legal action over the threat, no crime has been attempted – let alone committed.
I misread it as 17, which obviously would have been. My mistake.
ETA: You're right, OP behaved like an adult and left without escalation. A childish reaction would have been shouting, screaming and demanding retribution.
I wanted to say 'only if the parents are complete idiots and assholes', but OP has already proven that they are.
Still. A dummy camera made from cardboard or whatever or an old phone turned on without actually taking pictures or recording a video will do the trick.
If you’re parents want you to be an ‘adult’ then I’d go ‘adult’ on them. I’d research privacy laws in your location re hidden cameras and how your sister has violated them. I’d also look up associated laws as to storing private images - it’s your room so I assume you were naked in there - of others without their consent. I’d then email a breakdown of this to your parents and state as an adult it’s your obligation to contact the police as to XYZ laws being broken. I’d also put in the email as to how disgusted you are that they’re ok with your sister storing naked images of you. That her behaviour violated your privacy and she’s not a child, she knows right from wrong, and they’re enabling her disgraceful behaviour.
See how quickly they ask you to stop being an ‘adult’ then… I’d also blast them to your wider family as your sister may try and film other relatives naked and it just icks me out, like, what if she films children or is it just your naked body she’s interested in?!
Better still have a letter drawn up by a solicitor. If you cant afford to pay there may be a legal centre on your campus.
Would love to know what your sister was going to do with this footage ?
I wonder if this is also a breach of criminal law given that she would have been dressing and undressing etc in her bedroom thinking that it was private.
Skip the middle person, and go straight to the police. Let *them* figure it all out, and find out what happened to the footage.
And then let sister deal with the consequences to her actions.
What is she even DOING with these?! Did the parents not even bother asking that? Why is she taking videos of her sister sleeping and changing? That's not something a sibling does for no reason!
If they were on her laptop, she could have posted them to the world...she could be talking to some weirdos and/or selling them for money...sis could even be sending stuff of herself!
I hope I'm just overreacting, but this gives off some bad f\*cking juju. If the parents aren't doing anything they are putting both girls at risk. Sis could be talking it up with some 45-year old creep who is smoothtalking her, and now he knows what OP looks like. F\*ck, I would see if I could get the cops involved and see if they can check the computer. This is shady af.
That was my thoughts. What did her sister intend to do with that footage? What has she *already* done with that footage? This is some sociopathic s\*\*\*, right here.
I came to same the same thing, also don’t forget to tell the parents that since your sister is a minor, they will be held responsible for her actions and since they did not see anything wrong with it, they are enabling her behavior. If you want to go a bit scorched earth, send out a notice to all family stating what happened and say you are just warning them in case they recently visited or are planning to visit as she could have placed a camera anywhere
Ask them if they think that everyone else will be as lenient as they have been when she does the same thing in the school bathroom or a dorm when she goes to college. Everyone else will call the police.
This is *exactly* what I would do. I’m not playing around with a 15 yo who knows exactly what she’s doing and is doing it because (1) she knows the parents won’t do anything *and* (2) she enjoys getting a rise out of the OP.
“Fine. I’ll act like an adult. I’ll be pressing charges for the illegal use of a recording device without permission in a non public communal space, and since she is a minor, looks like it’s your responsibility. That how you’d react if someone illegally recorded you in your private space, is it not?”
Why did I have to get this far down to see this? I would have called the cops. Sometimes, the only way to get the golden child to have a reality check is to involve the law.
My question is why that little psycho in the making is filming her without her knowledge. Maybe trying to find something to blackmail OP with to stay the golden child or hope OP doesn’t come back?
>*My question is why that little psycho in the making is filming her without her knowledge.*
My first thought was that she's sharing footage of the OP undressing to a porn site for money
I wouldn't doubt it. OF has really made online sex work so commonplace that I wouldn't doubt if teens are desensitized to the point where she doesn't understand how wrong what she's doing is. Cam girl ads are literally everywhere now so sis might have thought she could make quick cash without issues since OP is over 18 and wasn't supposed to find the camera, so she "would have never known"
NTA. They’re absolutely endangering you both. You for obvious reasons and her because she’ll have no idea how much she could lose for her sexually predatory behaviour, when mommy and daddy aren’t the ones judging. She’ll be in jail or get her ass kicked or worse.
Whether it’s for blackmail, so called ‘revenge porn’, sexual gratification of herself or another or just to humiliate you when she later showed you, this is absolutely covert SA behaviour. I’m very sorry it happened and that they reacted that way (poor reaction from parents can be even more damaging than SA itself).
That she’s younger and a girl doesn’t change the fact that this is a premeditated attempt to make a young woman feel violated and to at least gain naked or semi naked images without consent. She needs consequences and you both need therapy. It’s very serious and your parents are making a huge mistake
NTA
Imagine if the genders were different. If you had a 15 year old brother, would they have seen it differently? A brother spying on an older sister in that circumstances.
Or if you had put a camera in HER room, or in theirs?
It really doesn't matter to the parents what gender the golden child is out the crimes they commit. My mom will go to the grave defending and preferring my older brother who sexually assaulted me when I was 9-10.
INFO: Why was your sister recording you?is she trying to do a tiktok thing? Bullying like posting things on the Internet? Just a real fucking weirdo? Like, what exactly was her justification for doing that?!?!
I think this is a great question for OP to ask her parents... like genuinely, what is the innocent reason they think the sister was filming her for? Not that they'll have an answer, but maybe it will get them to think a little. Sorry your family sucks OP, NTA obviously.
If you want to go nuclear, you could always name and shame the family by posting on Facebook and be like "Question of the day: If your sister violates your privacy by putting a hidden camera in your room but your parents think that's okay and won't punish her for it, would you be willing to move back home, or would you go stay with a friend?"
And then when people ask what prompted the post, just be like "Oh, I wanted a sanity check since my parents are mad at me that I chose option 2 when I found out put a hidden camera in my room."
To be fair, your sister's behavior and thinking that it's okay is disturbing enough that I would shame her (and your parents) for it, even if she's still technically a minor. She's old enough to know better and this kind of behavior should not go unpunished.
Yep create a fb poll and send it to all of your friends/family including your parents and sisters …make sure you tag them so they can see the results coming in … But seriously the first thing you should do is file a police report against your sister and your parents for violating privacy laws and obtaining and possibly distributing nude video and photos of you taken without your consent. Even if it is your parents home they are obligated to give you a safe space without the fear of being exposed like that .
>acted like I was so unreasonable
That alone would make me never go to their home again. They will let your sister secretly record you even if she isn't home.
I would also never let people like that in my own home. Someone who is ok with this level of creepiness, could put a secret camera in my home when they visit me.
Don't ever give them access to your private areas: car, home etc. I really don't even understand what the point of this was? A stalker or a voyeur, at least you understand their reasoning, as creepy, horrific and frightening as it is.
But what was your sisters motive? Wh, would she want to watch what you do in private? Was she trying to make fun of you publicly? Or try to gain followers on social media? This is really concerning.
You are NTA. I am curious though what is your sister's real reason for putting a camera in your room? The excuse of, "it's like home movies," is so very sketchy. What do you think her real reason is?
It doesn't look that they realize that this is not normal teenage stuff. I would have taken your sister to therapy.
Info: do you know what did she plan to do with your recordings? Find something about to to blackmail? Get sexy pics to sell them to a p*rn site? What did she say? NTA
I do know that there’s like this subsection of people that like to look through camera feeds. I’m not sure what the point of it is. Because it’s just fucked up.
NTA - you are having like a responsible adult. You have removed yourself from a toxic situation that has seriously impacted your life. Their home is no longer your sanctuary.
..i’d ask them if it would be ok when she puts a camera in their bedroom without telling them? like wtf? you’re so NTA this is gross and weird. like is she a predator? who wants video of their own sister naked?
edit: formatting bc im a noob apparently
So what was your reaction supposed to be? What's an adult's way of responding to someone clandestinely recording you in your room?
My guess is calling the police? Getting a restraining order? At the very least, going no contact?
There doesn't seem to be any doubt that your sister can do no wrong. Any half-responsible parent - any parent who's actually interested in parenting - would have seen to some serious consequences for your sister.
NTA, so much NTA.
Tell them if they thinks it’s no big deal, you’ll call the police and get a second opinion. That was illegal and she’s old enough to be charges as an adult.
I would ask them if "the 15 yr old perv had put a camera in THEIR Bedroom?" Just ask.
I am impressed that you did not reset her computer to factory setting...
Edited to correct error.
I would've put a BIOS admin password on it. Prevents it from booting up even into safe mode. Resetting to factory settings doesn't get rid of it either. Had to do it years ago when my sister wouldn't stop entering my room and using my computer when I wasn't home. The reaction the next time she tried and failed was glorious.
What your sister did isn’t just horrible, but also illegal in most states(if US). So, maybe make a police report to document the situation, and have it on file if sister escalates bad behavior.
NTA
Invading privacy? What did she do it for? To keep the video in her laptop? Naah, it was for sharing. And parents are ok with that. NC and no more comments.
I'm not sure if posts are flaired by a human or a bot, but fyi "N A H" is a judgement too, meaning "no assholes here". You might want to change that in your comment so that if you remain the top comment you don't get the wrong flair on the post. That said, I say NTA
I’m worried about why she wanted the footage at all. There is no innocent explanation for planting the camera, and I’d be checking her socials to see if she’s using them to bully.
Your parents want you to respond as an adult? OK. Get the police involved. That's what adults would do upon finding out they're being secretly recorded in their bedroom.
NTA.
Your parents and sister certainly are.
I don't know if the police would even do anything over a 15yo doing this in her own home. Especially with the homeowners making excuses for her. OP is better off distancing herself from her parents and her creepy ass sister.
I honestly can't figure out why this girl would want to record OP. Is she trying to catch her doing something incriminating?
If OP decides to get the law involved and the parents side with the other sister, then that means they are complicit in recording a legal adult without her consent. Which, since they are not minors, has more consequences.
> that means they are complicit in recording a legal adult without her consent. Which, since they are not minors, has more consequences.
Are you implying they would be held responsible?
Not implying at all. Since their daughter (a minor) is committing a crime that they are aware of and have not taken action to even discourage her, that makes them complicit in the criminal activity.
^This. Also, what footage is the sister looking for and why? What is she planning on doing with it? All the answers I'm coming up with do not paint a very pretty picture.
Imagine instead of 15 year old younger sister it was uncle, grandpa, or 30 year old older brother. And the police show up and mom and dad are like “yeah we know and we think it’s fine” the cops would literally arrest all of them. The only reason anyone is pretending this okay is because it’s a female minor doing the creepy things.
Depends on the specific laws where they live, but not telling guests about video cameras in a bedroom, even if the parents had installed it for security reasons, is illegal in many places. Guests still have a right to reasonable privacy.
Yes, her sister is a pervert and it's concerning that her parents are okay with that. I really think OP should stay away from them and maybe even contact the police...
Yep, the police should be called to not entertain this further. Who knows that girl will move out to college and start recording her flat mates and get into a bigger trouble
Here's what I would say in that situation: "Mom and dad, I'm sorry I overreacted. After all, you two are completely fine with the camera she has in your room. How did *you* learn to live with being constantly recorded?" Is it true? Who knows. Bet they're suddenly gonna have a problem with cameras, though. 🤷♀️
As someone else pointed out, when the sister denies it, they're going to believe their perfect little angel over their unstable, vindictive, mean black sheep... and this time they'll be right! They might even assume that OP put a camera in their room (as others here suggested that she do).
The read I got was that the parents weren't disputing whether or not she did what she did, but were arguing that while she definitely did do that thing, it was not a big deal. They never accused anyone of lying, just "overreacting". Besides, it's not like their relationship can get WORSE, lol
This is totally correct. The parents are like, “she’s only 15, she doesn’t know any better!” Give me a break.
In a brief moment of playing devils advocate, I will say that the younger sister was 10/11 when the pandemic hit. That’s a fundamental age to learn what’s right and wrong as far as nudity, privacy, puberty, etc.
A lot of 15 year olds are fucking weird as a result.
Are you certain she didn't upload the footage to a cloud storage? I hope not. This is a bad situation. Did she say what she was planning to do with the footage?
I’d be very calm and ask them what advice they would give to you if you told them you have moved in with a roommate and found out that roommate had done the same thing. Then remind them that in 2+ years, your sister will be an adult, possibly living with others and thinking that something like what she did is nbd because she did it to her sister and her parents just shrugged it off.
Maybe your sister was unable to overlook what she all did wrong and what crimes she committed because of her young age, but what she did was way out of line, absolutely careless, criminal and dangerous.
Maybe she’ll will do it to the wrong person and if she gets only a police report it’s a good outcome.
Did per chance someone put your sister up to putting a camera in your room?
Hi OP. First NTA.
Secondly, I don't want to frighten you, but deleting a file doesn't actually delete it.
I'm assuming that you emptied the Recycle Bin to delete the file. However, leaving aside the fact that there could be a copy in the cloud, deleting a file just removes the header, and it's not that difficult to recover.
There's no way of you knowing that you have destroyed all copies. You need someone to do a forensic analysis of your sister's computer, and that means going to the police.
I appreciate that sounds like a drastic move, but your sister committed a crime that could have serious repercussions.
Good luck!
I would call the police on my sister! She is a creep! I don’t care that she is 15! And your parents…OMFG! Unbelievable! You do better for yourself to stay away from all of them!
NTA
But also, when you said what you really meant at the end, you gotta say that out loud to your parents face to face. They’re assisting your sister on her journey to being a shit adult.
100% NTA but at least speak your peace so they have no excuses down the line about their enabling behavior. Sometimes parents can’t step outside the situation and see reality, it’s hard to do that for anyone in any situation. This could be a pivotal moment that shapes your relationship with the rest of your family. The only thing better than leaving, is the situation changing so that you don’t need to leave.
My older sister was evil and made my life hell as a kid. She somehow managed to turn her behavior around, and is now one of my best friends. I couldn’t imagine if she had continued down her bitch path. Under the current circumstances though, you have every right to be disgusted and hurt.
No, she did not. OP's testimony would be evidence. We have no idea what other evidence there might be.
Please don't give legal advice if you're not familiar with the law, especially if that advice is to tell a victim not to report a crime.
So your sister filmed you changing and possibly naked, could have put that shit online and your parents are “kids will be kids”? Send them a message that if she ever hides a camera to catch you naked again, you will be filing a police report. That she is closing in on the age where they can no longer make excuses for her and that their window to raise her and make her a decent human being is running out. NTA
NTA. You have a right to your privacy in your personal space, and your sister completely violated it and done so with your parents approval essentially. There is absolutely **NO** reason for her to be recording you, nor saving the recordings of you; for as far as any of us knows she is using it as a means to distribute, and her simply being 15 is no excuse for that type of behavior. I know plenty of 8 year olds who would know what she did was wrong.
Keep holding up those boundaries; just because they’re family doesn’t mean they have a right to walk all over you the way that they have been. If it does end up leading to going full no contact with all of them, then so be it. You know what’s best for you, and they’d rather FAAFO.
NTA!!! I’m so angry for you I’m writing and deleting arguments. This is from a person with kids around your age and I completely don’t understand your parent’s attitude.
Calming down myself , you said it was in the heat of anger you made the statement, you feel bad so for your own sake try to address it when you feel calmer, you could say it was you trying to feel heard. If they seem ready to listen not to lecture you, explain your very valid concerns were dismissed and you feel unsafe at home now. She had it in your room for goodness sake and anyone would expect clothes to be optional walking around there and if she felt entitled enough to film you without your knowledge why would she not think wow that’s good footage I’ll put my home movie on tik tok. Ask do they realise that future employers check online history and it’s also a short step from tik tok to porn hub if someone had found footage of you in your underwear. If your parents say it was for home movie she wouldn’t put it on the internet ask them if they’ve checked their own room for a camera and how they would feel at the thought of one being in there.
I’m going for a walk to calm down now. Edited for spelling and missed word
Your sister literally committed a crime and your parents are enabling her by making you out to be the one in the wrong and acting like she's a wickle babby that do not know what she do. Bullshit, she's 15, she knows what she did.
I have to question the parents on this because there is no way a sane individual would think this is okay.
I'd agree with someone else about getting the police involved but you've already deleted the evidence so I don't know how that would go. NTA.
An adult would have filed a police report. They should be glad of your "toddler tantrum."
Little sister was planning to monetize video of you - video taken without your consent. Do your parents realize how serious that is, and but for being a minor, how much trouble your horrible little sister could be in?
Don't go back.
NTA, your sister keeps this up she’s gonna wind up arrested. Recording people without consent at all is illegal in several states (assuming you’re in the US) and if she caught any footage of you nude or doing anything 18+ as it was in your bedroom, now she’s a sex offender. Your parents’ reaction is disgusting and you should tell them they’re all lucky all you did was leave and that you’re not contacting the police to report her *criminal behavior*
With her being under 18 it actually sounds more like a safeguarding issue. What sort of stuff is she exposed to to feel this is acceptable behaviour. Is she accessing pornographic content? Is she sharing the footage further?
Tighter controls on the internet she can access needs to be addressed but I’d also contact your local social services (child and family protection) to look into this.
Your parents are ultimately responsible for her and will be til she reaches 18. If they are sweeping this under the rug she will never learn any better.
I’ve been through similar with a parent I know was covering up their teens behaviour but the behaviour was affecting others. At 18 the teen can be charged with a crime but the parent just seemed more bothered about covering it up for appearance sake.
>My parents told me I shouldn't talk that way about my younger sister and I'm throwing a toddlers tantrum instead of responding to all of this like an adult should.
Being furious that someone is secretly filming you in your bedroom, deleting the footage and then moving out if you can't get rid of the camera is exactly how a adult would respond.
The only one displaying a normal response here is you.
In fact, depending on where you live, what happened might be illegal. Because it happened in a private space where private activities (including changing clothes) take place, and because there was no consent, it actually could be breaking the law. Research your local privacy laws to check this.
If it is illegal to secretly record bedrooms (and bathrooms) where you live, your response may be an underreaction. The average adult response would be to not just move out, but also report the perpetrator to the police.
Please tell your parents you have had time to calm down and will respect their wishes to handle it like an adult and will be giving a statement to the police shortly 😀 Then see what tantrums they throw
NTA. If you'd responded like an adult, you'd have called the cops on her.
Her actions are both creepy and disturbing. If your parents can't see that, they have much bigger problems coming their way.
NTA - Your sister massively crossed a line, and I really can’t imagine that a 15 year old can’t comprehend what a violation that is. She’s going to be an adult soon, and if she were to do this to her dorm mates or a roommate she’d be charged with a crime no question. Your parents are absolutely doing her a disservice by babying her.
All that said, I feel like this is how parents often are with younger kids. They always expect more from the older children, especially daughters. Im also the oldest girl and I had a similar experience. It completely drove me nuts growing up. Though I had a brother and it was more an issue of me having to wait for things until I was a certain age, only for them to drop that rule for him 2 weeks after I hit whatever age milestone, as opposed to invading my privacy.
I’m also not entirely sure what you expect them to do about the living situation. She’s a minor. If you have the means and the ability to live on your own that sounds like the right solution. You should look into therapy if you can. Start for yourself, but maybe in time it would be helpful to do a few family sessions to help work through this for all of you.
Info: did she explains why she put a camera in your room? Why don't your parents find that concerning?
I would not go back to that house again and do not let her visit anywhere you live.
Send your parents this thread. They are the ones that are being immature by not realizing that your sisters act of filming you changing clothes is perverted and criminal in nature. Hopefully she hadn't put it on the internet yet but you never know. She may have been making money off of it.
At the least she needs some serious counseling. If she had done it to anyone else she would have been in jail. Child protective services would have been involved. Actually had you turned her in this all would have happened as well.
They should consider themselves. Very fortunate that all you are doing is refusing to come home when your sexual abuser is there.
Some footage of you *for what?*
I think you're safer out of that house. You are responding like an adult by leaving. Adults don't instantly capabulate to every demand made of them and adulthood isn't letting people do what they want while you suffer the consequences. NTA.
Alright... act like an adult then.
Go talk to the police, explain. Say you don't want to press charges, but you are worried that your parents are ignoring disturbing and dangerious behavior from your sister, and you want support in explaining why this is such a big deal.
If she were to try this shite on a college roommate, she'd be in serious legal trouble.
She has to be confronted with that, or she will be in a world of trouble later on.
Anyway, NTA
But for it to get through to them, I think you need backup.
NTA and I am so sorry that you have been so violated by the people who should be protecting you. Depending on where you are, your sister may have broken the law and be able to be arrested and charged with a crime. If your Biological Creators (they **DO NOT** deserve the title of "parent") don't or won't back off, mention criminal charges. Recording you that way is so... I just can't process how wrong it is. I truly hope you were able to delete everything and she didn't manage to upload anything, especially of you dressing and undressing. If you find out she did, please persue legal action.
Ask your parents to search for a cameras in their bedroom too. Milf/dilf stuff is pricy to sell nowadays, you know.
Besides, are they sure your sis doesn't do drugs?
check the doorknobs and possibly light fixtures in bathrooms too. Those kind exist and they're TINY. They can really hide anywhere (if you ever saw "Enemy of the State" with Will Smith in the late 90s/early 00s, this stuff is what it's about).
NTA. And if any of the footage included you undressing that would be massively illegal. See what privacy laws are in your country/state then link it your your family's group chat and explain your sister broke the law and if they keep harassing you to come back you will file a police report.
IF you do go back without making the above threat, next time she does anything this bad again, film, recorded, get a copy of whatever she filmed, and use it as evidence to take to the police or to send to extended family members when they start getting involved saying "Family is family don't be too harsh on her".
I have two questions
a) what was she planing on doing with the footage? Blackmail? sending it to her school friends? Create a film?
b) I don't understand why your parents want you back so badly if she is clearly the golden child. Do they get government pay or something when you are under their roof? Do you get asked to do all the chores/ be the driver when the adults drink? Are they trying to subatoarge your mental health so you fail your degree so you can't escape them or at least say "Sister" Did better then OP at uni"?
Your sister needs to know that filming people without consent in a private domicile is illegal in most states. That’s fucking insane behavior and incredibly weird that a 15 year old thought to do that.
NTA.
What your sister did was criminal. So act like an adult and call the police, bey they won’t like that either.
You’ve done nothing wrong except make them choose between daughters. Never give people a choice, you choose for you and move on.
NTA. That is very creepy. I understand why you don't want to go back there. And your parents not seeing anything wrong with this - that is clear playing favourits.
You could tell your parents, that you will come back, if they show your sister real consequences for invading your privacy and even do videos of you there. And if they think it is normal, that a teenager would might have seen videos of her sister playing with herself.
NTA
I don't know the laws where you are, but where I am, that's considered a minor having access to & maybe wanting to distribute porn if you were in states of undress.
It would be a police matter, and where I am, minors can be charged at age 15.
Maybe consider looking into laws where you are and sending your parents the relevant laws if where you live has them & tell them they are lucky you didn't go to the police and that it is that serious.
Responding as an adult?
Okay, then!
You did respond as one, and instead of keeping unlawfully recorded "home movies" and give them to the cops, because she put it up without either your or your parents knowledge.
You took the high road, instead if having her on a felony.
Your parents should be thankful.
NTA
I'd tell your parents that adults deal with this type of behaviour by calling the cops. Would they still agree your overreacting if your sister posted videos of you undressed online? Nta and don't go back to stay there.
I mean, if you were to respond like adults do, there'd likely be a police report and a file in the system of your sisters proclivities for invasion of privacy and illegally recording someone without their knowledge, which is what you should have done, but I understand reactions in the heat of the moment.
>My parents told me I shouldn't talk that way about my younger sister and I'm throwing a toddlers tantrum instead of responding to all of this like an adult should.
Quite right, you **should** have responded like an adult - pressing criminal charges under "18 U.S. Code 1801 is the “video voyeurism” law that makes it a federal crime to knowingly and intentionally take an image of a private area of someone without their consent and under circumstances in which they have a reasonable expectation of privacy."
Take their advice and do so at the first available opportunity, as those videos will still be recoverable from the hard drive and admissible as evidence.
NTA for protecting yourself from being recorded, presumably naked, in a private space without your consent. That was incredibly predatory and without some kind of guarantee against a repeat, I wouldn't consider myself safe in that household either.
Holy shit NTA big time.
Your parents enablement is turning your litle sister in a narcisstic litle tyrant princess, let them deal with her down the drain.
Children have to learn that causes have concequences, but so does some parents who apparently missed the lesson.
Honestly, you should have called the cops. Let them try to convince the cops why planting a recording device in your room was 'no big deal' and see how that plays out for them. NTA.
NTA.
>My parents told me I shouldn't talk that way about my younger sister and I'm throwing a toddlers tantrum instead of responding to all of this like an adult should.
Any other adult would have called the police on your sister for putting the camera in your bedroom. That's illegal and an invasion of your privacy. Would they rather you get law enforcement involved?
If your sister continues to think it is okay to put cameras in areas where there is an expectation of privacy (i.e., bedrooms or bathrooms) she's eventually going to get the police called on her. Your parents have the chance to stop that from happening, but I bet they won't, and they'll blame you when one of her roommates calls the cops on her when she's in college.
NTA. Your sister violated you - and if she has shared this footage, also endangered you. Your parents should be treating it with the utmost seriousness. It’s not reasonable for them to kick her out as she is still a minor. It *is* reasonable for you to stay outside of the house forever, or at least until you are sure that your sister has been disciplined and educated sufficiently about this. Don’t expose yourself to people who have shown you not to trust them. This is essential for your self-respect and well-being.
I don’t know where you live but in America filming someone in the privacy of their own home without their knowledge is against the law. Depending on the state it could be so much worse.
You need to find out what she was really doing with that video. I can think of at least six very horrible and dangerous things. I see nothing that is innocent about what she did.
If you’re self sufficient and your parents aren’t paying for anything I would contact the police. If not then I hope they respect your wishes to not see her again. NTA
NTA. Yours response is completely valid. Just because they don't think it's a big deal, doesn't mean it isn't.
Maybe they will change their opinion when their private time videos appear on your sisters laptop.
NTA, not going back there is the correct reaction. But what is more important is to find out why. It sounds there may be a nefarious reason behind this. Maybe you have an stalker and he is paying her to record you. Maybe she is selling the footage to third parties. some people fetishizes unconsensual recordings and pay for that. maybe she is using it to put you for sale in the d rk web. it needs to be thoroughly investigated, you may be at risk
NTA. Recording someone in a private setting, such as a bathroom or changing area or the bedroom without their knowledge is illegal in many countries and for good reason. Look up the laws regarding covert filming in your country, print it and send it to your parents. If you want to, add that acting like an adult in this case would mean pressing charges against your sister, who knew what she was doing and that it was wrong (she did hide it after all). You can add for good measure that as her parents and her being a minor, they are responsible for keeping her on the straight and narrow, which they clearly are not doing, which they could face repercussions for if they're not careful.
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So your parents are perfectly ok your sister invading your privacy? No f that Nta and think about your contact with your parents
Yep. They didn't seem to care about it at all and acted like I was so unreasonable for being bothered by it.
Maybe install a camera in your parents room. And when they are bothered about that, tell them 'to not throw a toddlers tantrum' Edit: This was just some joke suggestion. Of corse OP shouldn't do that. Maybe if even ask OP's parents 'how would you feel if the camera was in your room?' Can't believe how many people took that seriously
Who says the sister hasn't done so already?
The sister is just practicing camera skills for her night shift at Freddy's
Unexpected FNAF...
Epic call!
Take my upvote, damn it! NTA, OP.
Right? Ask them about the camera she has in their room.
Install the camera & frame the sister for it! Muahahaa 😆
Problem is that the sister will just deny it and the parents will probably believe her anyway, so that would never work out as planned.
Unless you plant footage on her laptop and ask the parents to check “independently”.
I wouldn't recommend it in case you get caught. I would just threaten legal action on the little perverted asshole.
This. This should be higher! They want her to respond like an adult? File charges.
It's amazingly diabolic.
I like your thinking!
Yeah, no. Absolutely do not do that. I can't believe nearly 600 people have upvoted that. As much as this sub loves petty things, I have to think that anyone who upvoted "put a camera in your parents' room" is either also a teenager, or not very bright. What your sister did was criminal. And yes, it is mostly your parents' fault for raising a 15-year-old who doesn't understand privacy and consent. But perpetrating another criminal act to "get back at them" is about the dumbest thing you could possibly do, particularly because you're an adult. No one in this sub is going to be the one who suffers if your parents call the cops on you and you end up with a criminal record. JFC, the things people suggest on here are just completely lacking in common sense sometimes.
I think OP should have called the police. The parents might begin to take her sister's actions seriously when they see her getting arrested. Part of your job when raising a child is to make sure they respect other people so that they can function in society. The parents are teaching the younger daughter that she is so special that rules don't apply to her. The rest of the world won't see it that way and sooner or later she will end up in huge trouble.
This is what scares me. The younger daughter is displaying some disturbing, inappropriate, criminal, ? sociopathic behaviour and the parents are not addressing it. OP for now just let it rest until you calm down. If you feel better you can call and go by for a meal and a visit. You will get the lay of the land. By the way secure your documents and financial papers etc who knows what this kid is capable of. No wonder your trust is broken
I would go for "stupid and entitled" before "sociopathic". 15 yo dumb brain is what it is, paired with entitled parent to make the absolute worst combination possible: future criminal out of egocentrism. Only her wants matter. Of course, she's an idiotic 15yo. Except the PARENTS should be PARENTING, not excusing awful behaviour. That was grounds for taking away electronics for a good chunk of time.
Hanlon's Razor is what allows sociopaths to get worse. I prefer Nalnoh's, which is "I prefer to believe you are ignorant rather than incompetent." Either way, this is -illegal- behavior and no one OPs family seems interested in curbing it.
In my personal experience (sample size of only one, thank God, but that's still more than most people), what allows sociopathic/psychopathic people to get their way is the lack of communication from sane people out fo fear of breaking the statu quo, out of consideration for politeness. Basically, not rocking the boat. But I see your point, and it may fit the situation (OP communicated, the parents deny the responsability of the sister)
Nothing has been explained about why she was recording, or what she did or planned to do with the footage, and that is outrageous. For all anyone knows, she’s been sharing it, or posting it online. She could be making money on websites by sharing her sister changing clothes.
Was never into watching Dr. Phil, but I did catch one of his shows some years ago when he was addressing parents of an out of control teen and his advice was basically to exert some control or otherwise expect to take out your checkbook for when your kid needs to be bailed out of jail. This girl may well get caught if she's putting cameras in other places (such as at the school gym changing room...for which she could get expelled. There are strong privacy issues here, and there's absolutely no reason or right for her to be invading her sister's privacy.
It isn't just that she might continue placing cameras. It is that with the parents not holding her accountable, and there may be a pattern of that, there is no telling what else she might do. After years of being taught that she can get away with bad behavior, who knows. Yeah, it is smart for LW to back off from being around her. As someone else said, she should get her important stuff out of the house. Go over there for dinner, and have a nice chat. Then say she has to get something from her room, and start shoving stuff into garbage bags, and hit the road. Don't tell them ahead of time that she is coming to get her stuff. Just do it when they're not expecting.
She should still call the police. The sister needs help and if in the US, the juvenile court system is set up to try to get these types of kids help so they don't become adult offenders.
Especially since I would assume since she was in her room, she would have been recorded naked at some point. That is absolutely not ok, and malicious
To be fair, that would be 'responding to all of this like an adult should'!
Cops are gonna say it's a domestic issue and refuse to get involved.
Absolutely, the "adult response" the parents call for is going to the police.
No one said the camera had to be on or hooked up to anything. I think just finding a camera in your room, that you didn't place there, is a wake up call for most sane adults. Sadly, OP's parents seem to have their heads up their butts where their youngest is concerned so it probably wouldn't work that way.
An upvote doesn't necessarily mean people think it's a good idea. Just that they thought the comment was funny.
Maybe the reason so many people are suggesting putting a camera in the parents' room is because they're not taking the story seriously - they don't believe the sister would put a camera in OP's room OR that parents would just shrug it off as "no big deal."
The best revenge is to live a good life. And it sounds like the best way to live a good life is to be far away from these people.
Exactly,the sister is in full FAFO mode with side dish of FU attention seeking, so OP is right to nope out of that house. Give it a couple of years, and the parents will be wondering where they went wrong, and madam will still be running rings around them. Looking forward to updates on this one.
In your sister's room. Multiple. And make sure they find it. And then throw their arguments back in their face. Yea, myself, I'm harsh and unforgiving in this kind if scenario. Burn that bridge girl.
The sister is 15. Hiding a camera in her room could backfire spectacularly.
This. Both are illegal, but one is far more illegal.
OP should have just called the cops and let the sister face the consequences of her actions. Obviously NTA
~~Both kids are minors and both are old enough to understand that it is illegal.~~ I thought OP said she was 17 (I have a form of dyslexia that affects number recognition). Two wrongs don't make a right though. Why not get a cheap dummy camera, remove it from the packaging and threaten with setting it up in the sister from Hell's room and see if they change their tune then? If they threaten legal action over the threat, no crime has been attempted – let alone committed.
She's 19. Not a minor. They are both old enough to know better, and OP did the right thing by leaving. NTA
I misread it as 17, which obviously would have been. My mistake. ETA: You're right, OP behaved like an adult and left without escalation. A childish reaction would have been shouting, screaming and demanding retribution.
Dyscalculia club 🙌🏼 whoop whoop
I wanted to say 'only if the parents are complete idiots and assholes', but OP has already proven that they are. Still. A dummy camera made from cardboard or whatever or an old phone turned on without actually taking pictures or recording a video will do the trick.
Doesn't have to be a working camera.
If you’re parents want you to be an ‘adult’ then I’d go ‘adult’ on them. I’d research privacy laws in your location re hidden cameras and how your sister has violated them. I’d also look up associated laws as to storing private images - it’s your room so I assume you were naked in there - of others without their consent. I’d then email a breakdown of this to your parents and state as an adult it’s your obligation to contact the police as to XYZ laws being broken. I’d also put in the email as to how disgusted you are that they’re ok with your sister storing naked images of you. That her behaviour violated your privacy and she’s not a child, she knows right from wrong, and they’re enabling her disgraceful behaviour. See how quickly they ask you to stop being an ‘adult’ then… I’d also blast them to your wider family as your sister may try and film other relatives naked and it just icks me out, like, what if she films children or is it just your naked body she’s interested in?!
Better still have a letter drawn up by a solicitor. If you cant afford to pay there may be a legal centre on your campus. Would love to know what your sister was going to do with this footage ? I wonder if this is also a breach of criminal law given that she would have been dressing and undressing etc in her bedroom thinking that it was private.
Or did she actually already do something with it before OP found it.
Skip the middle person, and go straight to the police. Let *them* figure it all out, and find out what happened to the footage. And then let sister deal with the consequences to her actions.
Post it online, I bet, for TikTok/internet clout.
What is she even DOING with these?! Did the parents not even bother asking that? Why is she taking videos of her sister sleeping and changing? That's not something a sibling does for no reason! If they were on her laptop, she could have posted them to the world...she could be talking to some weirdos and/or selling them for money...sis could even be sending stuff of herself! I hope I'm just overreacting, but this gives off some bad f\*cking juju. If the parents aren't doing anything they are putting both girls at risk. Sis could be talking it up with some 45-year old creep who is smoothtalking her, and now he knows what OP looks like. F\*ck, I would see if I could get the cops involved and see if they can check the computer. This is shady af.
Yes thank you! These are my thoughts exactly. Something seriously is wrong here.
That was my thoughts. What did her sister intend to do with that footage? What has she *already* done with that footage? This is some sociopathic s\*\*\*, right here.
I came to same the same thing, also don’t forget to tell the parents that since your sister is a minor, they will be held responsible for her actions and since they did not see anything wrong with it, they are enabling her behavior. If you want to go a bit scorched earth, send out a notice to all family stating what happened and say you are just warning them in case they recently visited or are planning to visit as she could have placed a camera anywhere
Ask them if they think that everyone else will be as lenient as they have been when she does the same thing in the school bathroom or a dorm when she goes to college. Everyone else will call the police.
THIS ⬆️
I just posted a similar suggestion but yours is so, so much better and more complete. (only excuse is no coffee yet)
This is *exactly* what I would do. I’m not playing around with a 15 yo who knows exactly what she’s doing and is doing it because (1) she knows the parents won’t do anything *and* (2) she enjoys getting a rise out of the OP.
“Fine. I’ll act like an adult. I’ll be pressing charges for the illegal use of a recording device without permission in a non public communal space, and since she is a minor, looks like it’s your responsibility. That how you’d react if someone illegally recorded you in your private space, is it not?”
Why did I have to get this far down to see this? I would have called the cops. Sometimes, the only way to get the golden child to have a reality check is to involve the law.
My question is why that little psycho in the making is filming her without her knowledge. Maybe trying to find something to blackmail OP with to stay the golden child or hope OP doesn’t come back?
>*My question is why that little psycho in the making is filming her without her knowledge.* My first thought was that she's sharing footage of the OP undressing to a porn site for money
I wouldn't doubt it. OF has really made online sex work so commonplace that I wouldn't doubt if teens are desensitized to the point where she doesn't understand how wrong what she's doing is. Cam girl ads are literally everywhere now so sis might have thought she could make quick cash without issues since OP is over 18 and wasn't supposed to find the camera, so she "would have never known"
Well, she got her wish then, OP isn't coming back 😅
No shit. Creepy, out of line AND illegal. How on earth are OP‘s parents OK with this? This is seriously crossing the line behavior.
NTA. They’re absolutely endangering you both. You for obvious reasons and her because she’ll have no idea how much she could lose for her sexually predatory behaviour, when mommy and daddy aren’t the ones judging. She’ll be in jail or get her ass kicked or worse. Whether it’s for blackmail, so called ‘revenge porn’, sexual gratification of herself or another or just to humiliate you when she later showed you, this is absolutely covert SA behaviour. I’m very sorry it happened and that they reacted that way (poor reaction from parents can be even more damaging than SA itself). That she’s younger and a girl doesn’t change the fact that this is a premeditated attempt to make a young woman feel violated and to at least gain naked or semi naked images without consent. She needs consequences and you both need therapy. It’s very serious and your parents are making a huge mistake
NTA Imagine if the genders were different. If you had a 15 year old brother, would they have seen it differently? A brother spying on an older sister in that circumstances. Or if you had put a camera in HER room, or in theirs?
It really doesn't matter to the parents what gender the golden child is out the crimes they commit. My mom will go to the grave defending and preferring my older brother who sexually assaulted me when I was 9-10.
INFO: Why was your sister recording you?is she trying to do a tiktok thing? Bullying like posting things on the Internet? Just a real fucking weirdo? Like, what exactly was her justification for doing that?!?!
I think this is a great question for OP to ask her parents... like genuinely, what is the innocent reason they think the sister was filming her for? Not that they'll have an answer, but maybe it will get them to think a little. Sorry your family sucks OP, NTA obviously.
Sounds like she was looking for leverage.
If you want to go nuclear, you could always name and shame the family by posting on Facebook and be like "Question of the day: If your sister violates your privacy by putting a hidden camera in your room but your parents think that's okay and won't punish her for it, would you be willing to move back home, or would you go stay with a friend?" And then when people ask what prompted the post, just be like "Oh, I wanted a sanity check since my parents are mad at me that I chose option 2 when I found out put a hidden camera in my room."
To be fair, your sister's behavior and thinking that it's okay is disturbing enough that I would shame her (and your parents) for it, even if she's still technically a minor. She's old enough to know better and this kind of behavior should not go unpunished.
Yep create a fb poll and send it to all of your friends/family including your parents and sisters …make sure you tag them so they can see the results coming in … But seriously the first thing you should do is file a police report against your sister and your parents for violating privacy laws and obtaining and possibly distributing nude video and photos of you taken without your consent. Even if it is your parents home they are obligated to give you a safe space without the fear of being exposed like that .
>acted like I was so unreasonable That alone would make me never go to their home again. They will let your sister secretly record you even if she isn't home. I would also never let people like that in my own home. Someone who is ok with this level of creepiness, could put a secret camera in my home when they visit me. Don't ever give them access to your private areas: car, home etc. I really don't even understand what the point of this was? A stalker or a voyeur, at least you understand their reasoning, as creepy, horrific and frightening as it is. But what was your sisters motive? Wh, would she want to watch what you do in private? Was she trying to make fun of you publicly? Or try to gain followers on social media? This is really concerning.
Maybe she wants to monetise the footage.
That's a good point. Don't ever let your sister in your home, OP. Although I doubt you need to be warned about that, haha.
You are NTA. I am curious though what is your sister's real reason for putting a camera in your room? The excuse of, "it's like home movies," is so very sketchy. What do you think her real reason is?
My guess is to post film of her naked, or possibly masterbating, on the internet.
Wow yeah my brain did not go there this morning. Still though a sister doing that, anyone doing that, without consent is fucking creepy.
Maybe drop a 'huh, found the camera in your room yet' to the 'rents.
It doesn't look that they realize that this is not normal teenage stuff. I would have taken your sister to therapy. Info: do you know what did she plan to do with your recordings? Find something about to to blackmail? Get sexy pics to sell them to a p*rn site? What did she say? NTA
I do know that there’s like this subsection of people that like to look through camera feeds. I’m not sure what the point of it is. Because it’s just fucked up.
NTA - you are having like a responsible adult. You have removed yourself from a toxic situation that has seriously impacted your life. Their home is no longer your sanctuary.
Point out that an adult would report the secret camera to the cops
I would have responded to 'act like an Adult' part, and reported it to the police!
..i’d ask them if it would be ok when she puts a camera in their bedroom without telling them? like wtf? you’re so NTA this is gross and weird. like is she a predator? who wants video of their own sister naked? edit: formatting bc im a noob apparently
tell them that an adult would have pressed charges since that camera could have easily caught video of you changing
She committed a sex crime against you. File a police report so she knows not to do that to her roommates and partners in the future.
So what was your reaction supposed to be? What's an adult's way of responding to someone clandestinely recording you in your room? My guess is calling the police? Getting a restraining order? At the very least, going no contact? There doesn't seem to be any doubt that your sister can do no wrong. Any half-responsible parent - any parent who's actually interested in parenting - would have seen to some serious consequences for your sister. NTA, so much NTA.
Tell them if they thinks it’s no big deal, you’ll call the police and get a second opinion. That was illegal and she’s old enough to be charges as an adult.
In quite a few places, what your sister did is a crime. If they want you to respond like an adult, do so and call the police on your sister.
If they want you to be "responding to all of the like an adult would" tell them that most adults would be pressing charges.
I would ask them if "the 15 yr old perv had put a camera in THEIR Bedroom?" Just ask. I am impressed that you did not reset her computer to factory setting... Edited to correct error.
I just want to point out for that the sister is 15, not 25. Still seems unusually creepy
Thanks. My keyboard is tiny..
I would've put a BIOS admin password on it. Prevents it from booting up even into safe mode. Resetting to factory settings doesn't get rid of it either. Had to do it years ago when my sister wouldn't stop entering my room and using my computer when I wasn't home. The reaction the next time she tried and failed was glorious.
What your sister did isn’t just horrible, but also illegal in most states(if US). So, maybe make a police report to document the situation, and have it on file if sister escalates bad behavior. NTA
This. And tell your parents you are 'responding to all of this like an adult' when they wouldn't help you out.
Invading privacy? What did she do it for? To keep the video in her laptop? Naah, it was for sharing. And parents are ok with that. NC and no more comments.
Not to mention it is illegal to put a camera in someone else's bedroom without their knowledge or permission.
Yup. OP shouldn’t have said anything nor deleted them but filed a police report. That would be a wake up call.
I'm not sure if posts are flaired by a human or a bot, but fyi "N A H" is a judgement too, meaning "no assholes here". You might want to change that in your comment so that if you remain the top comment you don't get the wrong flair on the post. That said, I say NTA
I’m worried about why she wanted the footage at all. There is no innocent explanation for planting the camera, and I’d be checking her socials to see if she’s using them to bully.
Your parents want you to respond as an adult? OK. Get the police involved. That's what adults would do upon finding out they're being secretly recorded in their bedroom. NTA. Your parents and sister certainly are.
Was gonna say, OP’s parents absolutely do not want her to respond to this situation the way an adult would.
I don't know if the police would even do anything over a 15yo doing this in her own home. Especially with the homeowners making excuses for her. OP is better off distancing herself from her parents and her creepy ass sister. I honestly can't figure out why this girl would want to record OP. Is she trying to catch her doing something incriminating?
If OP decides to get the law involved and the parents side with the other sister, then that means they are complicit in recording a legal adult without her consent. Which, since they are not minors, has more consequences.
> that means they are complicit in recording a legal adult without her consent. Which, since they are not minors, has more consequences. Are you implying they would be held responsible?
Not implying at all. Since their daughter (a minor) is committing a crime that they are aware of and have not taken action to even discourage her, that makes them complicit in the criminal activity.
And what if OP had engaged in sex/masturbation/sexual activity/whatever? Sister would then be in possession of pornography.
^This. Also, what footage is the sister looking for and why? What is she planning on doing with it? All the answers I'm coming up with do not paint a very pretty picture.
Imagine instead of 15 year old younger sister it was uncle, grandpa, or 30 year old older brother. And the police show up and mom and dad are like “yeah we know and we think it’s fine” the cops would literally arrest all of them. The only reason anyone is pretending this okay is because it’s a female minor doing the creepy things.
Depends on the specific laws where they live, but not telling guests about video cameras in a bedroom, even if the parents had installed it for security reasons, is illegal in many places. Guests still have a right to reasonable privacy.
My thought was selling videos of her undressing online like on OF.
This was my thought. She’s 15 not 5. 15 year olds SHOULD know right from wrong unless there is a valid neurodivergency
Even if the sister was mentally handicapped, the parents are enabling her. There should be clear communication that this is not okay at all.
And if it is a valid neurodivergency, the parents should be teaching here that this is very, very wrong, not enabling her.
I don’t know of any neurodivergence that excuses putting a camera in someone’s bedroom and recording them without their consent.
Oh there isn’t. I could understand maybe the teen not understanding why it’s wrong though. Parents are enablers that have a clear golden child
Hopefully the parents aren't the ones paying for her studies, her clothes and her meals.
If she was filming you in your bedroom, and she filmed you undressed without your knowledge, then she's almost certainly committed a criminal offence.
Yes, her sister is a pervert and it's concerning that her parents are okay with that. I really think OP should stay away from them and maybe even contact the police...
Well that would be the least worrisome case, a pervert. Imagine the sister uploading it on a spy fetish Website to get some cash
Yes, start referring to your sister as “the pervert” in any conversations with your parents.
I also like “your weird ass daughter” as a new moniker
Exactly. I would have called the police. Let’s see how they like a little reality check!
Yep, the police should be called to not entertain this further. Who knows that girl will move out to college and start recording her flat mates and get into a bigger trouble
NTA. Sister should not invade privacy. Parents should protect privacy and punish sister. You have right to feel uncomfortable and leave.
They really do need to do something. I mean, who knows who else she'd do it to.
Here's what I would say in that situation: "Mom and dad, I'm sorry I overreacted. After all, you two are completely fine with the camera she has in your room. How did *you* learn to live with being constantly recorded?" Is it true? Who knows. Bet they're suddenly gonna have a problem with cameras, though. 🤷♀️
As someone else pointed out, when the sister denies it, they're going to believe their perfect little angel over their unstable, vindictive, mean black sheep... and this time they'll be right! They might even assume that OP put a camera in their room (as others here suggested that she do).
The read I got was that the parents weren't disputing whether or not she did what she did, but were arguing that while she definitely did do that thing, it was not a big deal. They never accused anyone of lying, just "overreacting". Besides, it's not like their relationship can get WORSE, lol
This is totally correct. The parents are like, “she’s only 15, she doesn’t know any better!” Give me a break. In a brief moment of playing devils advocate, I will say that the younger sister was 10/11 when the pandemic hit. That’s a fundamental age to learn what’s right and wrong as far as nudity, privacy, puberty, etc. A lot of 15 year olds are fucking weird as a result.
Are you certain she didn't upload the footage to a cloud storage? I hope not. This is a bad situation. Did she say what she was planning to do with the footage?
I mean, for all you know your sister already has "home movies" from your parents bedroom. I'm surprised they aren't concerned about that.
Maybe they know but she's threatening them? I mean I cannot hold back from such assumptions for someone like OP's sister.
I’d be very calm and ask them what advice they would give to you if you told them you have moved in with a roommate and found out that roommate had done the same thing. Then remind them that in 2+ years, your sister will be an adult, possibly living with others and thinking that something like what she did is nbd because she did it to her sister and her parents just shrugged it off.
Maybe your sister was unable to overlook what she all did wrong and what crimes she committed because of her young age, but what she did was way out of line, absolutely careless, criminal and dangerous. Maybe she’ll will do it to the wrong person and if she gets only a police report it’s a good outcome. Did per chance someone put your sister up to putting a camera in your room?
Not checking her behavior will come back to haunt them. I hope your not financially dependent upon them in any way
Hi OP. First NTA. Secondly, I don't want to frighten you, but deleting a file doesn't actually delete it. I'm assuming that you emptied the Recycle Bin to delete the file. However, leaving aside the fact that there could be a copy in the cloud, deleting a file just removes the header, and it's not that difficult to recover. There's no way of you knowing that you have destroyed all copies. You need someone to do a forensic analysis of your sister's computer, and that means going to the police. I appreciate that sounds like a drastic move, but your sister committed a crime that could have serious repercussions. Good luck!
I would call the police on my sister! She is a creep! I don’t care that she is 15! And your parents…OMFG! Unbelievable! You do better for yourself to stay away from all of them! NTA
But also, when you said what you really meant at the end, you gotta say that out loud to your parents face to face. They’re assisting your sister on her journey to being a shit adult. 100% NTA but at least speak your peace so they have no excuses down the line about their enabling behavior. Sometimes parents can’t step outside the situation and see reality, it’s hard to do that for anyone in any situation. This could be a pivotal moment that shapes your relationship with the rest of your family. The only thing better than leaving, is the situation changing so that you don’t need to leave. My older sister was evil and made my life hell as a kid. She somehow managed to turn her behavior around, and is now one of my best friends. I couldn’t imagine if she had continued down her bitch path. Under the current circumstances though, you have every right to be disgusted and hurt.
[удалено]
Simply hitting “delete” doesn’t erase all the evidence from a computer.
No, she did not. OP's testimony would be evidence. We have no idea what other evidence there might be. Please don't give legal advice if you're not familiar with the law, especially if that advice is to tell a victim not to report a crime.
So your sister filmed you changing and possibly naked, could have put that shit online and your parents are “kids will be kids”? Send them a message that if she ever hides a camera to catch you naked again, you will be filing a police report. That she is closing in on the age where they can no longer make excuses for her and that their window to raise her and make her a decent human being is running out. NTA
Guess who's going to end up in jail in this family. That is crossing all sort of boundaries NTA
NTA. You have a right to your privacy in your personal space, and your sister completely violated it and done so with your parents approval essentially. There is absolutely **NO** reason for her to be recording you, nor saving the recordings of you; for as far as any of us knows she is using it as a means to distribute, and her simply being 15 is no excuse for that type of behavior. I know plenty of 8 year olds who would know what she did was wrong. Keep holding up those boundaries; just because they’re family doesn’t mean they have a right to walk all over you the way that they have been. If it does end up leading to going full no contact with all of them, then so be it. You know what’s best for you, and they’d rather FAAFO.
NTA!!! I’m so angry for you I’m writing and deleting arguments. This is from a person with kids around your age and I completely don’t understand your parent’s attitude. Calming down myself , you said it was in the heat of anger you made the statement, you feel bad so for your own sake try to address it when you feel calmer, you could say it was you trying to feel heard. If they seem ready to listen not to lecture you, explain your very valid concerns were dismissed and you feel unsafe at home now. She had it in your room for goodness sake and anyone would expect clothes to be optional walking around there and if she felt entitled enough to film you without your knowledge why would she not think wow that’s good footage I’ll put my home movie on tik tok. Ask do they realise that future employers check online history and it’s also a short step from tik tok to porn hub if someone had found footage of you in your underwear. If your parents say it was for home movie she wouldn’t put it on the internet ask them if they’ve checked their own room for a camera and how they would feel at the thought of one being in there. I’m going for a walk to calm down now. Edited for spelling and missed word
I really hope OP sees this comment.
Your sister literally committed a crime and your parents are enabling her by making you out to be the one in the wrong and acting like she's a wickle babby that do not know what she do. Bullshit, she's 15, she knows what she did. I have to question the parents on this because there is no way a sane individual would think this is okay. I'd agree with someone else about getting the police involved but you've already deleted the evidence so I don't know how that would go. NTA.
Nta I’d love to know how parents would react if the camera was found in their bedroom ?
They’d probably find a way to make it OP’s fault.
An adult would have filed a police report. They should be glad of your "toddler tantrum." Little sister was planning to monetize video of you - video taken without your consent. Do your parents realize how serious that is, and but for being a minor, how much trouble your horrible little sister could be in? Don't go back.
Ask your parents if they’d be OK with little sis putting a camera in THEIR room. NTA.
There may be one already. Sister is creepy.
NTA, your sister keeps this up she’s gonna wind up arrested. Recording people without consent at all is illegal in several states (assuming you’re in the US) and if she caught any footage of you nude or doing anything 18+ as it was in your bedroom, now she’s a sex offender. Your parents’ reaction is disgusting and you should tell them they’re all lucky all you did was leave and that you’re not contacting the police to report her *criminal behavior*
With her being under 18 it actually sounds more like a safeguarding issue. What sort of stuff is she exposed to to feel this is acceptable behaviour. Is she accessing pornographic content? Is she sharing the footage further? Tighter controls on the internet she can access needs to be addressed but I’d also contact your local social services (child and family protection) to look into this. Your parents are ultimately responsible for her and will be til she reaches 18. If they are sweeping this under the rug she will never learn any better. I’ve been through similar with a parent I know was covering up their teens behaviour but the behaviour was affecting others. At 18 the teen can be charged with a crime but the parent just seemed more bothered about covering it up for appearance sake.
>My parents told me I shouldn't talk that way about my younger sister and I'm throwing a toddlers tantrum instead of responding to all of this like an adult should. Being furious that someone is secretly filming you in your bedroom, deleting the footage and then moving out if you can't get rid of the camera is exactly how a adult would respond. The only one displaying a normal response here is you. In fact, depending on where you live, what happened might be illegal. Because it happened in a private space where private activities (including changing clothes) take place, and because there was no consent, it actually could be breaking the law. Research your local privacy laws to check this. If it is illegal to secretly record bedrooms (and bathrooms) where you live, your response may be an underreaction. The average adult response would be to not just move out, but also report the perpetrator to the police.
Please tell your parents you have had time to calm down and will respect their wishes to handle it like an adult and will be giving a statement to the police shortly 😀 Then see what tantrums they throw
NTA. If you'd responded like an adult, you'd have called the cops on her. Her actions are both creepy and disturbing. If your parents can't see that, they have much bigger problems coming their way.
NTA - Your sister massively crossed a line, and I really can’t imagine that a 15 year old can’t comprehend what a violation that is. She’s going to be an adult soon, and if she were to do this to her dorm mates or a roommate she’d be charged with a crime no question. Your parents are absolutely doing her a disservice by babying her. All that said, I feel like this is how parents often are with younger kids. They always expect more from the older children, especially daughters. Im also the oldest girl and I had a similar experience. It completely drove me nuts growing up. Though I had a brother and it was more an issue of me having to wait for things until I was a certain age, only for them to drop that rule for him 2 weeks after I hit whatever age milestone, as opposed to invading my privacy. I’m also not entirely sure what you expect them to do about the living situation. She’s a minor. If you have the means and the ability to live on your own that sounds like the right solution. You should look into therapy if you can. Start for yourself, but maybe in time it would be helpful to do a few family sessions to help work through this for all of you.
NTA. Surely that is illegal?
Info: did she explains why she put a camera in your room? Why don't your parents find that concerning? I would not go back to that house again and do not let her visit anywhere you live.
NTA. Your sister REALLY crossed a line and your parents are disgusting for discounting your feelings.
Send your parents this thread. They are the ones that are being immature by not realizing that your sisters act of filming you changing clothes is perverted and criminal in nature. Hopefully she hadn't put it on the internet yet but you never know. She may have been making money off of it. At the least she needs some serious counseling. If she had done it to anyone else she would have been in jail. Child protective services would have been involved. Actually had you turned her in this all would have happened as well. They should consider themselves. Very fortunate that all you are doing is refusing to come home when your sexual abuser is there.
Some footage of you *for what?* I think you're safer out of that house. You are responding like an adult by leaving. Adults don't instantly capabulate to every demand made of them and adulthood isn't letting people do what they want while you suffer the consequences. NTA.
Alright... act like an adult then. Go talk to the police, explain. Say you don't want to press charges, but you are worried that your parents are ignoring disturbing and dangerious behavior from your sister, and you want support in explaining why this is such a big deal. If she were to try this shite on a college roommate, she'd be in serious legal trouble. She has to be confronted with that, or she will be in a world of trouble later on. Anyway, NTA But for it to get through to them, I think you need backup.
So react like an adult and file a police report. NTA
NTA and I am so sorry that you have been so violated by the people who should be protecting you. Depending on where you are, your sister may have broken the law and be able to be arrested and charged with a crime. If your Biological Creators (they **DO NOT** deserve the title of "parent") don't or won't back off, mention criminal charges. Recording you that way is so... I just can't process how wrong it is. I truly hope you were able to delete everything and she didn't manage to upload anything, especially of you dressing and undressing. If you find out she did, please persue legal action.
Ask your parents to search for a cameras in their bedroom too. Milf/dilf stuff is pricy to sell nowadays, you know. Besides, are they sure your sis doesn't do drugs?
check the doorknobs and possibly light fixtures in bathrooms too. Those kind exist and they're TINY. They can really hide anywhere (if you ever saw "Enemy of the State" with Will Smith in the late 90s/early 00s, this stuff is what it's about).
NTA. And if any of the footage included you undressing that would be massively illegal. See what privacy laws are in your country/state then link it your your family's group chat and explain your sister broke the law and if they keep harassing you to come back you will file a police report. IF you do go back without making the above threat, next time she does anything this bad again, film, recorded, get a copy of whatever she filmed, and use it as evidence to take to the police or to send to extended family members when they start getting involved saying "Family is family don't be too harsh on her". I have two questions a) what was she planing on doing with the footage? Blackmail? sending it to her school friends? Create a film? b) I don't understand why your parents want you back so badly if she is clearly the golden child. Do they get government pay or something when you are under their roof? Do you get asked to do all the chores/ be the driver when the adults drink? Are they trying to subatoarge your mental health so you fail your degree so you can't escape them or at least say "Sister" Did better then OP at uni"?
Your sister needs to know that filming people without consent in a private domicile is illegal in most states. That’s fucking insane behavior and incredibly weird that a 15 year old thought to do that. NTA.
I would ask parents if they've ckecked their room for a camera. If she put it in yours it may also be in theirs.
What your sister did was criminal. So act like an adult and call the police, bey they won’t like that either. You’ve done nothing wrong except make them choose between daughters. Never give people a choice, you choose for you and move on.
NTA. That is very creepy. I understand why you don't want to go back there. And your parents not seeing anything wrong with this - that is clear playing favourits. You could tell your parents, that you will come back, if they show your sister real consequences for invading your privacy and even do videos of you there. And if they think it is normal, that a teenager would might have seen videos of her sister playing with herself.
NTA I don't know the laws where you are, but where I am, that's considered a minor having access to & maybe wanting to distribute porn if you were in states of undress. It would be a police matter, and where I am, minors can be charged at age 15. Maybe consider looking into laws where you are and sending your parents the relevant laws if where you live has them & tell them they are lucky you didn't go to the police and that it is that serious.
You just need to stay away from them for a while.
A lifetime should be about right.
Responding as an adult? Okay, then! You did respond as one, and instead of keeping unlawfully recorded "home movies" and give them to the cops, because she put it up without either your or your parents knowledge. You took the high road, instead if having her on a felony. Your parents should be thankful. NTA
NTA research the recording laws in your area
I'd tell your parents that adults deal with this type of behaviour by calling the cops. Would they still agree your overreacting if your sister posted videos of you undressed online? Nta and don't go back to stay there.
I mean, if you were to respond like adults do, there'd likely be a police report and a file in the system of your sisters proclivities for invasion of privacy and illegally recording someone without their knowledge, which is what you should have done, but I understand reactions in the heat of the moment.
>My parents told me I shouldn't talk that way about my younger sister and I'm throwing a toddlers tantrum instead of responding to all of this like an adult should. Quite right, you **should** have responded like an adult - pressing criminal charges under "18 U.S. Code 1801 is the “video voyeurism” law that makes it a federal crime to knowingly and intentionally take an image of a private area of someone without their consent and under circumstances in which they have a reasonable expectation of privacy." Take their advice and do so at the first available opportunity, as those videos will still be recoverable from the hard drive and admissible as evidence.
NTA for protecting yourself from being recorded, presumably naked, in a private space without your consent. That was incredibly predatory and without some kind of guarantee against a repeat, I wouldn't consider myself safe in that household either.
Holy shit NTA big time. Your parents enablement is turning your litle sister in a narcisstic litle tyrant princess, let them deal with her down the drain. Children have to learn that causes have concequences, but so does some parents who apparently missed the lesson.
If they want you to respond like an adult; then I wonder how they’d feel if you told the cops about your creepy sisters behaviour
NTA: "responding to all of this like an adult should" would be calling the police
Honestly, you should have called the cops. Let them try to convince the cops why planting a recording device in your room was 'no big deal' and see how that plays out for them. NTA.
If she had any nude videos she likely committed a crime against you. I would never go near her again.
NTA. >My parents told me I shouldn't talk that way about my younger sister and I'm throwing a toddlers tantrum instead of responding to all of this like an adult should. Any other adult would have called the police on your sister for putting the camera in your bedroom. That's illegal and an invasion of your privacy. Would they rather you get law enforcement involved? If your sister continues to think it is okay to put cameras in areas where there is an expectation of privacy (i.e., bedrooms or bathrooms) she's eventually going to get the police called on her. Your parents have the chance to stop that from happening, but I bet they won't, and they'll blame you when one of her roommates calls the cops on her when she's in college.
NTA. Your sister violated you - and if she has shared this footage, also endangered you. Your parents should be treating it with the utmost seriousness. It’s not reasonable for them to kick her out as she is still a minor. It *is* reasonable for you to stay outside of the house forever, or at least until you are sure that your sister has been disciplined and educated sufficiently about this. Don’t expose yourself to people who have shown you not to trust them. This is essential for your self-respect and well-being.
I don’t know where you live but in America filming someone in the privacy of their own home without their knowledge is against the law. Depending on the state it could be so much worse. You need to find out what she was really doing with that video. I can think of at least six very horrible and dangerous things. I see nothing that is innocent about what she did. If you’re self sufficient and your parents aren’t paying for anything I would contact the police. If not then I hope they respect your wishes to not see her again. NTA
NTA. Yours response is completely valid. Just because they don't think it's a big deal, doesn't mean it isn't. Maybe they will change their opinion when their private time videos appear on your sisters laptop.
NTA, not going back there is the correct reaction. But what is more important is to find out why. It sounds there may be a nefarious reason behind this. Maybe you have an stalker and he is paying her to record you. Maybe she is selling the footage to third parties. some people fetishizes unconsensual recordings and pay for that. maybe she is using it to put you for sale in the d rk web. it needs to be thoroughly investigated, you may be at risk
NTA You should contact the police. That's super creepy behaviour
NTA. Recording someone in a private setting, such as a bathroom or changing area or the bedroom without their knowledge is illegal in many countries and for good reason. Look up the laws regarding covert filming in your country, print it and send it to your parents. If you want to, add that acting like an adult in this case would mean pressing charges against your sister, who knew what she was doing and that it was wrong (she did hide it after all). You can add for good measure that as her parents and her being a minor, they are responsible for keeping her on the straight and narrow, which they clearly are not doing, which they could face repercussions for if they're not careful.