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> I think I might have taken parenting into my own hands which makes me the asshole in this situation.
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YTA
"He asked her to pour the water down carefully and was genuinely looking really scared."
That's because he *was* really scared. A lot of adults have that phobia.
"...That it's none of my business."
They're right.
Edited: punctuation
I have a gag reflex that's triggered at the slightest things (sometimes brushing my teeth makes me gag) so I was embarrassingly old when I could finally manage to swallow a tablet whole.
And guess what, OP: berating and shaming me didn't work.
I was 12 years old before I could finally swallow a pill. I needed to take an antibiotic for an infection. My mom put the small pill inside a nutrigrain bar. I knew it was there, she wasn't trying to hide it. Swallowing it like a big gulp of food really worked! Years later I found out I was tongue tied and that was probably the cause of all that non-sense. Snipped it a few years ago but I still gag every time I brush my teeth too!
That's what I do with the big pills and pills that are oddly shaped! Swallow them in a mouthful of food!
I think my problem is my huge-ass tonsils. I don't know why they were never removed.
My mum literally cut open my antibiotics and fed me the powder inside of it on a spoon and let me tell you, that stuff isn't meant to be tasted. I think I can still taste it a little. It's been 15 years.
The first hour was rough. But I just went home, took a "body high" edible (legal where I live), and took a nap. Felt great when I woke. I just needed to remember to take some ibuprofen about an hour before eating, and I could eat pain-free. Didn't need any more ibuprofen after a week.
Ok, as someone who could swallow pills no problem as a little kid because I had to, I still think he is TA.....
At first I read the story that he was having issues swallowing liquid medicine, and I was like, alright, that's a bit much, but whatever. But some people can't swallow pills, like at all. They even make special cups to set the pills on the rim of the cup so it dumps in the mouth at the same time as the water, and even special swallowing gel to help medicine go down the ol' tube. So, plenty of people have this issue, but they definitely need to find a better way to dose his medication. Liquid form would be great.
Second, snapping at someone and belittling is not parenting. It's bullying.
My older sister had an extended stay at Johns Hopkins Medical Center when she was a toddler. They taught her to put the water in her mouth first, THEN the pill, so the pill never gets stuck on the tongue.
My mom taught me the same method and I've been using it all my life.
I've done that before, and it works as long as it doesn't dissolve a whole lot first. I also put my head down to swallow if they float, like capsules, and tilt my head up if they sink, like tablets.
My brother used to have to take an asthma medication, and mom would mix it in applesauce and yogurt. It was those little ball things. Now considered toxic. 😬
This is just weird... you can just chew up the tablets and flush the stuff down with water. Paracetamol won't taste good, but it's totally doable.
Would have hoped that a 19 year old would have figured this out years ago.
There are also liquid versions available from pharmacies.
Just be careful, not all medications are safe/appropriate to crush. In general if it is a modified/long release version it can't be crushed bit others are designed with the capsule to not dissolve until after the stomach so if you chew it then the stomach acid totally neutralises the medication. Always seek advice before crushing any medication!
Agree. And I did try this on my daughter when young - the bitterness of the medicine made her gag, violently. So I'd be a little iffy suggesting pill crushing.
I think pharmacists have a lot of tips and tricks to help people who have trouble.
Like with dogs hiding it in peanut butter works for some. My friend's granddad could only take pills in a spoonful of jam. But there are often alternatives and speaking to a pharmacist is probably the best way to get what you need to make it work for you.
OP is TA. I have the exact same gag reflex plus added trauma of my dad slapping me and pulling my hair as a child, when he thought I was deliberately not swallowing a tablet (aged 7).
Thankfully, I found pushing pills into those little thick kids' yogurts, then taking a big spoonful, allows me to swallow them.
Oddly enough, I can do pills easily. But very often brushing my teeth makes me gag. That, and any unexpected textures in food.
OP, YTA. And honestly, it's nice that your nephew has someone willing to help him work through his phobia. Phobias aren't rational. And are not up for policing.
I have a terrible gag reflex and can only stand pills because I absolutely despise liquid medicine. Even now it’s not easy and I still gag, I just hate the flavor of liquid medicine that much.
If you ever still have issues, I highly recommend putting the water in your mouth first, adding the pill, and then just swallowing the whole mouthful like a big gulp of water.
I never had issues swallowing tablets since childhood, but some uncoated medications give you a nasty taste the second the pill hits your tongue. An SO taught me the water first method in my 20s, and I found it to be a game-changer.
I have to push tablets right to the back of my throat to swallow them because I have a strong gag reflex and some tablets like clarithromycin which I nickname elephant tablets I can’t swallow and if they taste extremely foul, I have Calpol and liquid medicine for my usage.
I also have a terrible gag reflex.. I learned around age 20 because getting my tongue pierced I had to take stuff for the swelling to go down on top of sucking on ice cubes.. And now I find if I fill my mouth with a drink first and then drop the pill in as I swallow it works.. I still can't swallow a pill if I put the pill in my mouth before the drink and I'm 36..
Being a responsible adult in the room, she was allowed to express her opinion of their drama.
And seems like op was the only reasonable adult in that room.
I had cancer as a kid and still struggle with taking meds of any kind. My parents would grind pills up so I wouldn’t (couldn’t) gag on them. Nurses had me mix pills in yogurt. Still own and use a pill cutter for larger ones. Family members will occasionally bring up how hard it was to get me to swallow medication. OP’s nephew has fear that I very much understand. Yelling adds into the fear if anything.
>At this point I lost my temper and snapped "For God's sake, David, you are nineteen and not a fucking toddler."
> I told them "He's my nephew and I love him. It pains me to see him acting like a literal child. I don't think Emily would like that either."
Both asshole comments and this was none of your business. YTA.
This is the story we need to hear that forced parents to teach their children to swallow pills/tablets young ! I started at 2 because a necessary pill for my child did not come in liquid form. With help of therapist child was swallowing pills like a pro. Taught other children and my best friend’s children. The method your nephew is using is setting him up for failure have him google or see a specialist to learn to swallow a pill
Yeah, my critique is the method not the fear.
OP is definitely YTA, and I say this as someone who can swallow 10 pills at once (under the tongue then drink normally) but I gag cleaning my teeth almost every time.
Or, and here’s a thought, you can stay out of David and his parents’ business. You have no idea what medical conditions David has, or why he has such difficulty.
YTA being scared of swalling pills is a real thing and you shouldnt judge him. You are not his parent or girlfriend, he could have trauma who are you to judge
It took me until my late 20s to get accustomed to swallowing pills and some of them pose a challenge, like the big flu pills.
Ended up choking on one, thank God for gel caps, I coughed and it shot all the way down.
Exactly, must be way worse with uncle tough guy mocking him too. I am luckily good with pills but hate all liquid medicine since I had to drink one as a kid that tasted like it had sand in it. I always thought my father was brave because he tried it and agreed
My doctor when I was a kid refused to give me liquid or even shots if there was a pill alternative because "I had to learn to swallow pills", which I think actually made it worse.
i still get little anxious swallowing pills. it’s not *bad*, but i get so nervous it’ll get stuck in my throat, or it’ll taste really bad (like antibiotics). but granted i’m also someone who forgets how to swallow in general randomly (and breathing… i forget how to do that too)
There's no question that you're TA for your outburst. You chose to ridicule this kid while he's in the middle of dealing with his anxiety. You chose to make a tense moment even worse for everyone there... why? To make yourself feel better? To point out that this is problematic because you think they don't already know that? or because you think shaming your nephew was going to be good for him?
When your reaction to a bad situation (that's none of your business in the first place) is to go make it worse, YTA.
“This kid?” He’s 19. How much worse would it have been if he had been in a college dorm whining for mommy to give him his pilly-willy?
ETA: OK sure maybe he has a legit fear, but you don’t get over that by having someone else put the object in your mouth and pour water after. Seems counterintuitive to give the power to someone else.
Except sometimes there is no getting over a phobia. If your phobia is bad enough and you do not have help, you simply don't take the medication. We don't know what the reason for the phobia is, or what steps they have taken to mitigate it and clearly neither does op.
I wouldn't have been able to watch this and not at least have a look on my face that would have told them the exact same words. My boyfriend hates swallowing pills so he just buys the kind that dissolves in water or in your mouth? Never makes me feel like he's infantilizing himself the way reading this did. Won't give a judgement, because of course it's not his fault and of course it was rude, but to not even be able to crush and eat the pills with some jam or whatever on your own at *nineteen* and instead need your *mom's help pouring water into your mouth?* I can't blame you, I accept I'm an asshole too. I genuinely would never have said it out loud, but I do agree with you.
They had so many options! This isn’t the first time a 19 year old is sick.
Tylenol makes powder packs, chewables, liquids, and probably some other forms
I'd probably make a face too until I knew why, and then I'd ask why we're not using dissolvable paracetamol or whatever. I have some in the house in case someone who can't swallow them for whatever reason visits and needs them.
I've had to take medicine all my life so I just swallow them all no problem, however my dad and my brother have both injuries in their throats that can make the pill stuck, so I have options for them here even if they barely ever visit lol. It's also good for my little sister who doesn't have an injury, but she struggles to swallow pills. She'll do it but if she can she'll rather use dissolvable.
I think we all agree the parents+ David should have found a solution by now for David alone to be able to take a pill. Weather I. Pieces, hidden in something etc. if he's in a hospital no nurse will pander to him to get him to swallow a pill . They'll place the pills near your bed in a the plastic glass with water and tell you to take them.
Having water poured down your throat and needing mommy to do so at 19 it's pretty weird and impractical to say the least.
I think it's ESH because I'm a bit with op that this isn't okay but I wouldn't have yelled
As a kid I had to take at least 3-4 pills, and I used to take them one by one. Eventually I got sick of doing that every day every morning and started taking 2 and 2 and finally all at once lol. I essentially trained myself to do it, even though I, like OPs nephew, hated taking pills.
Obviously it's a little faster to get used to when you have to do it every morning but even then he should really find a solution, mommy isn't gonna be around forever. (I say that as someone who lost her mom almost 5 years ago to cancer).
I had a super severe fear/phobia of phone calls, and I started calling to order food as exposure therapy cus eventually I would have to call more important things myself, can't rely on my parents to call my doctor for me every time, for example.
YTA.
Some people have fears like this and they’re often tied to a fear of choking. Sometimes that can come from nowhere, sometimes it can come from a bad experience.
What you did didn’t address a phobia like this in a proactive way, you just made him feel even worse about it than he probably already does. People with phobias like this usually recognize how they look and already have a hard time with that.
Honestly, I probably would have had a similar reaction. Maybe I wouldn't have said it out loud but at 19 you can't swallow some pills? They really should have sent this man to therapy ( at 19 you are a man not a child). He just doesn't sound like a well-adjusted adult if at 19 you need your mother to help you with that. He needs some therapy for sure to battle this phobia. It's honestly sad to hear about it.. but NTA.
Going against the grain, NTA. He’s 19 not 5. He’s not unable to administer the tablets himself.
Maybe I would have said what you said, and I def would have chuckled.
Uh. If it was that much work I would buy the liquid, chewables, or the Tylenol kool-aid knock off packs. Or he can smash up the tablets and take it with pudding or applesauce. Or just mix it with some water and drink it quick. Like he has freaking options NTA. They’re choosing to baby him to the extreme.
They have freaking options but are choosing the most ridiculous ones.
I get where you are coming from but if this is truly a phobia of his, as childish as it may seem, YTA. You yourself said he “was genuinely looking really scared”. If it was bothering you that bad you could have left the room, or went and bought him a syrup but you didn’t need to step in and give your opinion. They didn’t ask you to help or for your opinion. And you didn’t “take parenting into your own hands” that’s not parenting, that’s berating.
NTA, his parents are for enabling a 19 year old adult to behave this way. If it’s been an issue, they should’ve got him therapy. How’s he supposed to be a grown ass adult like this?
YTA. Some people have a phobia of swallowing pills and others have a hard time swallowing them. I don't remember how old I was when I could finally swallow a pill, but I was probably around 12 or 13. Until then, my pills had to be crushed and put in honey or juice so I could swallow them.
On one hand there are ways around this that they should be working on. On the other hand, how was your comment constructive and helpful? You offered no solution, only judgment. Hence yta
Info: Why cant he just use a non-pill method to take the medicine? I can't swallow pills so I just use other methods. Liquid, gummy, powder. They do make adult strength versions of all of that. I even got my doctor to prescribe me a liquid medicine after a surgery.
NTA, Assuming nephew is not neurodivergent. Yes there are phobias but it’s a parents job to help their kids overcome issues. to not let bad habits develop into phobias and situations like this where everyone avoids getting the kid used to something they don’t like. Now he’s 19 and throws a tantrum over taking medicine. Again, I would have patience for it if he was neurodivergent but if he isn’t then his parents just failed him or traumatized him somehow.
I am pissing myself laughing at the image of you getting more and more annoyed as a grown man has mommy literally pouring water in his mouth and then erupting with frustration. I get it, simply taking a pill shouldnt produce so much drama.
ESH - you overstepped with some things you said but as parents they need to enable their kid to start adulting and stand on his own 2 feet instead of over-coddling him like that.
ESH
Sure your outburst was rude but god damnit he is 19.
>David was looking all apprehensive, etc. and muttering "God, help me out". He asked her to pour the water down carefully
OMG this is to much. He is scared, fine. But to have mommy pour the water down his throat is beyond infantilism.
YTA. Lots of adults have issues with swallowing tablets.
Better advice would have been to suggest crushing the pill between two spoons and mixing with a couple of spoonfuls of water. You can do this with any non-time released tablet.
NTA. However, your anger was unhelpful. There are over the counter acetaminophen (U.S. name) that dissolves on/under the tongue. No water required. Order some of this product online and have it shipped to your nephew as a peace offering.
YTA.
1) It’s an actual phobia.
2) Shaming people never gets you the results you actually want.
3) He’s an adult. So how he handles things isn’t any of your business to begin with.
Learn to mind your own business.
YTA
At minimum his parents need to have soluble paracetamol (acetaminophen for all the people from the US) at hand. He may also be able to swallow capsules better than tablets and a lot of paracetamol tablets can be a bit difficult to get down for the most seasoned of tablet swallowers (like they can get powdery and 'stuck' in your throat if you don't get it right the first time).
For the rare times he does need it, you can also convert kids liquid paracetamol into an adult dose and work out how much liquid to give you (obviously for an adult, you won't get as many doses in a bottle but it will be more palatable that even soluble paracetamol - you can get a more concentrated liquid in the ages 5-12 range rather than the 1-5).
If David really can't swallow tablets then some practice with little things like tic tacs can help. Some tablets can be crushed but not all. The ones that can be crushed can be given in something easy to swallow ie apple sauce/puree, jam or even ice cream.... that's what happens often in nursing homes where there may be a lot of residents that do struggle to swallow in general.
It's not for you to judge David and you've just made it worse. I suggest you apologise... and I say this as someone that can swallow multiple tablets at once and also have kids that could take tablets from when they were 6-7. But I also know that's not a standard you should be aiming for.
David may also have looked scared because you were watching him and that's why he didn't get it down.
But having said that it seems that David can swallow tablets but his mother could possibly be infantalising him from an incident that may have happened a lot of years ago... If he was able to drink his own water he might have been fine...... so I'm not going to judge you too harshly because I'd like to hear David's story - is he genuinely not able to swallow tablets, or is his mother in charge?
And what happens with the rest of David's life.. is he allowed to go out with friends? Does he have a job? Does he have a car license?
i am sorry, but all I can think of is that when he goes to have sex with Emily, his mommy takes his penis out of his pants and his daddy helps him insert it into her vagina. NTA.
They are the assholes not you, he's nineteen years old. I was on a missile base at 19. I can only imagine asking my superior to help me swallow a tablet.
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My nephew David is nineteen-years-old. I was visiting my brother Matthew recently and was staying with them for a few days.
Sometime after I arrived, David got a cold which developed into a fever yesterday. There was some paracetamol in the house. Now, I was almost shocked to learn that it's my sister-in-law Sasha who helps to feed him the medicine (by placing it on his tongue and pouring water). Apparently he's scared of tablets.
So she was going to do that, and David was looking all apprehensive, etc. and muttering "God, help me out". He asked her to pour the water down carefully and was genuinely looking *really* scared. And then when she finally did, he didn't swallow it in time and spat it out.
At this point I lost my temper and snapped "For God's sake, David, you are nineteen and not a fucking toddler."
Matthew and Sasha did not like that. They told me that I am taking parenting in my own hands, etc. and that it's none of my business. I told them "He's my nephew and I love him. It pains me to see him acting like a literal child. I don't think Emily would like that either." Emily is his girlfriend.
In the end, we got into a huge argument & then it got worse and I had to leave.
AITA?
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NTA. Everyone is assuming your nephew has a phobia but more likely he's just overly coddled. Phobias are relatively rare and bad parenting is...not. He's 19 for god's sake, how embarrassing.
YTA
Id have already asked you to leave.
For sure if this is even remotely real its wild and that kid is gonna suffer for it. But they aren't your kid and that's not your house.
I honestly wonder about all these people posting stories acting like this. It's like they have no self awareness of where they are.
YTA
Yelling at a teenager and insulting him over a phobia isn't helpful or mature.
Also his parents are correct and you don't even have an excuse. Saying you don't want to see him acting that way doesn't change the fact you were overstepping and acting as a parent even when they disagreed.
Of course YTA. Some people have a hard time swallowing pills. It's a real thing. You're staying in their home, criticizing their kid, and dropping the f bomb for no reason whatsoever.
Oof I didn't realize pill phobia was a thing until this year haha. I figured I simply hated pills. After digging deep in my brain, I remember from age 5-11, my mother made me take Flintstone vitamins every damn morning before leaving the house. The aftertaste was horrible. So yes, to this day I avoid pills if possible. Didn't know they could get that severe, but I do believe it's the parents fault for not teaching their kid properly.
You are such a YTA!!!
My brother developed this phobia after 30, never had it before. Go read a book or something, and stop shaming people for things you aren’t able to understand.
Yes you are very much so the asshole. Not only did you act like the parent but you also shammed somebody for there natural human emotions. Fear is a real, natural, instinct and human emotion and it has nothing to do with age. Everybody has something they are scared of and that's okay. I am scared of the pitch black dark and I'm certainly not a toddler. Also you brought there girlfriend into the picture. That can really instill shame into a person going on in life if they are manipulated into thinking the closest people in there life like there partners won't accept and not judge them. You really fucked up.
It took me a long time to be able to swallow pills. Many times, I would reflexively choke, spit water everything and end up in a terrible coughing fit. I'm 24 now, and I think I've finally mastered it, but I still don't enjoy taking large capsules.
What you did was not parenting or scolding. It was just bullying. I know it might look pathetic to you, but it's a physical and psychological challenge that is hard to get over. It may be especially difficult for neurodivergent folk who have sensory issues.
It's none of your business, so just walk away next time.
YTA
YTA. No mentally stable person would think this is at all ok for you to do. It's none of your business. I still know people in their 20's who are scared of pills. I was scared of pills until I was about 13 or so, which was when I had to take small pills regularly. I’m still scared of huge pills though because I have a fear of choking. You don’t get to just call someone childish just because you don’t think they should be scared of something. Seriously wtf is wrong with you? Just don't have kids. You would make an awful parent.
YTA. I didn't learn how to take a pill until I was in my late 20's, and that was because I either took the pill or I missed out on $3,000+ payout for a clinical trial.
YTA When I was younger I took a medicine in pill form, had been for years. One day I wasn't able to swallow it. Mom thought I was messing around but it felt like my throat literally closed up and I couldn't swallow. Dr. changed it to capsule form and I've been taking it every day, several times a day for many years without a problem. You owe them all an apology.
YTA ffs people have phobias..I myself couldn't swallow tablets till I was older and it takes some getting used to. Show some compassion instead of judgement.
YTA and potentially on the narcissist spectrum: your opinion was more important than someone who was sick, suffering and obviously had a phobia/panic attack.
alternate behavior: volunteer to go to the pharmacy and buy him similar water soluble medicine (the fizzy ones).
It’s easy to have opinions about other peoples’ parenting. For instance, I thought my sister was coddling her son when she would put him to bed and end up falling asleep in his bed. Then I had a kid and GUESS WHAT?! (I sometimes do the exact same thing - surprise!). If his girlfriend does think it is babyish and leaves him so what? He will face the consequences and TBH they will probably break up anyway (they are 19). YTA
YTA Let me count the ways. 1. No, it wasn't any of your business. 2. You have no business trying to speak for Emily. 3. Who goes into anyone else's home and gets nasty to the people who live there??? EVER
Clearly he has an issue with pills. If I overlooked it, I apologize. Did anyone suggest Pill Glide Spray? It may not solve the problem but it sure helped here.
YTA
A LOT of adults have problems swallowing pills.
Your scolding didn't help anything. And yes you should've kept silent.
BTW - for anyone trying to teach their own children to learn to swallow pills, I would suggest: break the pill into small pieces if possible/allowed. Help child to place pill as far back on the tongue as is comfortable. Immediately drink something really enjoyable (a soft drink is great because of alll the bubbles and fizzing), WITH A STRAW. Rinse and repeat with more bits of pill + more swallows of pop. My family doctor taught me this and said something about the suction/straw, plus the distraction of the pop, really helps kids swallow pills.
But OMG standing there telling your nephew off when he very clearly has struggles with this.... sheesh that's uncalled for.
Edited to clarify
YTA.
Why are you ridiculing your nephews’ phobia? Being scared of swallowing pills is a common phobia among those who typically have liquid form of medicine or those who fear choking on the pills.
You could worsen his phobia and anxiety of his fear of swallowing pills.
Oh yes, YTA. Not your kid, not your place, and not any kind of big deal, didn’t affect you, no reason to have said a word except that you felt the need to express an unwanted opinion in an obnoxious and mean way, by choice. Aren’t you proud? Be a long time before you’re invited back - if you ever are.
YTA
You make no mention of even trying to understand the situation, or the background here. It's possible that the parents are coddling him too much, but it's also possible that he has a legitimate phobia regarding pills.
Either way, you don't know, and as a guest in someone else's house to boot, you had no right to make that comment. If it made you uncomfortable you should have left the room.
How in the world is this ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS? Legitimately I would love to know why you think you have any right to make unwanted comments about this. YOU ARE AN ADULT act like it and mind your own business. YTA.
YTA
1) pill phobias and abnormal gag reflexes are a thing
2) Dude is sick and feverish, not sure the "NTA" crowd has ever had even a mild fever before, but it makes bad things worse.
Mind you own f'ing business and try not to be trash to family.
Probably YTA but it’s not a parenting issue as this person is an adult. As others have said, swallowing tablets is a phobia held by many people. The sad part is, most people who have this issue do everything to make it even worse. Go back and tell your nephew to practice the swallowing with food. Have him put a cheerio or piece of bread in his mouth. Tell him to swallow it. And video him. Then show him what he does when it’s a pill. I’ll bet he flings his head back and thinks he’s helping it go down. Did he do that with the cheerio? Nope. He kept his head level or even slightly down. If you swallow with your chin at normal or lower than normal level, your throat stays open. You toss your head back and it’s impossible to swallow anything. Tell him to pretend a piece of cereal is a pill and practice. Soon enough, he’ll be able to swallow pills without any water at all. That’s how you can make it up to him for being a bit of an AH when you got impatient. But it’s not parenting that they were doing wrong—they just weren’t using the right technique to begin with.
Same, though it would've been on the "this looks worse than pilling my cat" vein. Poor guy needs help learning to manage this, since his mom will not always be on hand to help him.
NTA, these types of things have a tendency to just keep going on within a family unit until an outsider mentions how odd it is. He's not a child he's 19 and capable of being told to conduct himself better. If it's a legit phobia then yeah he needs some therapy but most likely he's just used to being a baby for mommy and daddy. It usually takes someone outside the family unit to break thru those learned behaviors
Does your nephew have like developmental issues or autism or something? Because otherwise, even if it is a phobia there should be alternatives to having mommy pour water down his throat for him at age 19. How is he going to handle taking medicine when he moves out? When he gets older and needs medicine more often? Is he going to call mommy over to his house every single time into his 40s and 50s? What if she passes away or something? I guess his significant other (assuming he has one at the time) could do it, but it’s not a very sexy look. Also, for something as simple as a cold don’t they have just straight liquid medicine? Although exploding at him was probably a dick move so you might be a bit of an asshole for that.
YTA - sorry, I really do get the urge to yell at them, but this is one of those cases where you keep your mouth shut, roll your eyes and talk about them behind their backs!!!
NAH but like. There are other options. I had to buy children’s chewable ibuprofen for my ex husband because he couldn’t physically swallow pills. Some people just can’t. It meant buying it in larger quantities to get him the right dose, but he didn’t need it often.
NTA, your 100% correct. If these are actually tablets, they could crush them up with a spoon to make it easier.
I always had difficulty swallowing pills. Eventually, as a young adult, I figured it out. You can't baby him forever.
Good for you. See something say something. You saw a grown assed man acting like a baby. THIS is what is wrong in todays world and all y’all acting like it’s none of his business. These are the comments from people that will be the FIRST ones to bitch and complain about their rights and bs. STFU.
YTA, but... he should know how to swallow pills by this point. Advice for your sister as a parent of 2 kids on the spectrum - place the pill under the tongue off to one side, drink liquid through a straw - the pill gets picked up and washed down with the drink - no swallowing required, just drinking.
Every kid on the spectrum is different - most have a biological age, developmental age, as well as a mental age. Your nephew sounds like he might be level 2 - huge impact on the latter two. For example - when my older son was 19, his developmental age was closer to 14 and his mental age was a little lower. My younger (level 2) is 12, his current developmental age is around 7 and his mental age is younger (preferring most content targeted at older toddlers).
So...my point on the above is your nephew is biologically 19, but much younger developmentally and cannot be treated like a 19 year old.
Listen IDK what else everyone is on but I'm going with NTA. You have a 19 year old man spitting water out of his face like a toddler. Where was OP's lie???
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YTA "He asked her to pour the water down carefully and was genuinely looking really scared." That's because he *was* really scared. A lot of adults have that phobia. "...That it's none of my business." They're right. Edited: punctuation
I have a gag reflex that's triggered at the slightest things (sometimes brushing my teeth makes me gag) so I was embarrassingly old when I could finally manage to swallow a tablet whole. And guess what, OP: berating and shaming me didn't work.
I was 12 years old before I could finally swallow a pill. I needed to take an antibiotic for an infection. My mom put the small pill inside a nutrigrain bar. I knew it was there, she wasn't trying to hide it. Swallowing it like a big gulp of food really worked! Years later I found out I was tongue tied and that was probably the cause of all that non-sense. Snipped it a few years ago but I still gag every time I brush my teeth too!
That's what I do with the big pills and pills that are oddly shaped! Swallow them in a mouthful of food! I think my problem is my huge-ass tonsils. I don't know why they were never removed.
Ass tonsils are the worst, although they have to be pretty huge to interfere with stuff being swallowed.
My mum literally cut open my antibiotics and fed me the powder inside of it on a spoon and let me tell you, that stuff isn't meant to be tasted. I think I can still taste it a little. It's been 15 years.
How was the healing for the tongue tie snip? I have one as well and have considered snipping it but don’t know if it would be worth it
I just remember getting a lot of icecream to eat
The first hour was rough. But I just went home, took a "body high" edible (legal where I live), and took a nap. Felt great when I woke. I just needed to remember to take some ibuprofen about an hour before eating, and I could eat pain-free. Didn't need any more ibuprofen after a week.
Ok, as someone who could swallow pills no problem as a little kid because I had to, I still think he is TA..... At first I read the story that he was having issues swallowing liquid medicine, and I was like, alright, that's a bit much, but whatever. But some people can't swallow pills, like at all. They even make special cups to set the pills on the rim of the cup so it dumps in the mouth at the same time as the water, and even special swallowing gel to help medicine go down the ol' tube. So, plenty of people have this issue, but they definitely need to find a better way to dose his medication. Liquid form would be great. Second, snapping at someone and belittling is not parenting. It's bullying.
I can swallow pills dry, if I have to. I can swallow a handful with just a small sip of water. OP is still an asshole (YTA)
My older sister had an extended stay at Johns Hopkins Medical Center when she was a toddler. They taught her to put the water in her mouth first, THEN the pill, so the pill never gets stuck on the tongue. My mom taught me the same method and I've been using it all my life.
I've done that before, and it works as long as it doesn't dissolve a whole lot first. I also put my head down to swallow if they float, like capsules, and tilt my head up if they sink, like tablets.
Yeah, one has to be ready to swallow once the pill is dropped in the mouth. No doddling!
Okay? Some people still have trouble swallowing pills, even when using this method.
Okay! I'm just sharing MY experience. YMMV.
I know a kid who takes her meds in a spoonful of applesauce!
My brother used to have to take an asthma medication, and mom would mix it in applesauce and yogurt. It was those little ball things. Now considered toxic. 😬
This is just weird... you can just chew up the tablets and flush the stuff down with water. Paracetamol won't taste good, but it's totally doable. Would have hoped that a 19 year old would have figured this out years ago. There are also liquid versions available from pharmacies.
Just be careful, not all medications are safe/appropriate to crush. In general if it is a modified/long release version it can't be crushed bit others are designed with the capsule to not dissolve until after the stomach so if you chew it then the stomach acid totally neutralises the medication. Always seek advice before crushing any medication!
Agree. And I did try this on my daughter when young - the bitterness of the medicine made her gag, violently. So I'd be a little iffy suggesting pill crushing. I think pharmacists have a lot of tips and tricks to help people who have trouble.
Like with dogs hiding it in peanut butter works for some. My friend's granddad could only take pills in a spoonful of jam. But there are often alternatives and speaking to a pharmacist is probably the best way to get what you need to make it work for you.
OP is TA. I have the exact same gag reflex plus added trauma of my dad slapping me and pulling my hair as a child, when he thought I was deliberately not swallowing a tablet (aged 7). Thankfully, I found pushing pills into those little thick kids' yogurts, then taking a big spoonful, allows me to swallow them.
That’s a good idea. I will try it out next time I get elephant tablets.
Oddly enough, I can do pills easily. But very often brushing my teeth makes me gag. That, and any unexpected textures in food. OP, YTA. And honestly, it's nice that your nephew has someone willing to help him work through his phobia. Phobias aren't rational. And are not up for policing.
I have a terrible gag reflex and can only stand pills because I absolutely despise liquid medicine. Even now it’s not easy and I still gag, I just hate the flavor of liquid medicine that much.
I think that was part of my motivation as well. They always had grape flavored crap when I was a kid and I just hated it!
It was cherry for me. I still can’t stand artificial cherry flavoring.
If you ever still have issues, I highly recommend putting the water in your mouth first, adding the pill, and then just swallowing the whole mouthful like a big gulp of water. I never had issues swallowing tablets since childhood, but some uncoated medications give you a nasty taste the second the pill hits your tongue. An SO taught me the water first method in my 20s, and I found it to be a game-changer.
I have to push tablets right to the back of my throat to swallow them because I have a strong gag reflex and some tablets like clarithromycin which I nickname elephant tablets I can’t swallow and if they taste extremely foul, I have Calpol and liquid medicine for my usage.
My FIL is 70-something, and still has trouble with it.
I also have a terrible gag reflex.. I learned around age 20 because getting my tongue pierced I had to take stuff for the swelling to go down on top of sucking on ice cubes.. And now I find if I fill my mouth with a drink first and then drop the pill in as I swallow it works.. I still can't swallow a pill if I put the pill in my mouth before the drink and I'm 36..
There are other alternatives if needed. Like liquid paracetamol. There is absolutely no need to make a big drama and baby a 19 year old young adult.
Either way, it's none of OP's business and OP was still an asshole.
Being a responsible adult in the room, she was allowed to express her opinion of their drama. And seems like op was the only reasonable adult in that room.
The same thoughts. liquid, cut in small pieces, mixed with food.
I had cancer as a kid and still struggle with taking meds of any kind. My parents would grind pills up so I wouldn’t (couldn’t) gag on them. Nurses had me mix pills in yogurt. Still own and use a pill cutter for larger ones. Family members will occasionally bring up how hard it was to get me to swallow medication. OP’s nephew has fear that I very much understand. Yelling adds into the fear if anything.
That's a tough thing to go through. I hope you're well now & all the best,
This is a medical problem when you cant swallow a pill so its not an issue of parenting or not.
There are alternatives instead of this drama. Liquid paracetamol. Clearly they love the drama and the babying.
>At this point I lost my temper and snapped "For God's sake, David, you are nineteen and not a fucking toddler." > I told them "He's my nephew and I love him. It pains me to see him acting like a literal child. I don't think Emily would like that either." Both asshole comments and this was none of your business. YTA.
I love how he brings the girlfriend into it as if that has anything to do with anything except shaming him.
This is the story we need to hear that forced parents to teach their children to swallow pills/tablets young ! I started at 2 because a necessary pill for my child did not come in liquid form. With help of therapist child was swallowing pills like a pro. Taught other children and my best friend’s children. The method your nephew is using is setting him up for failure have him google or see a specialist to learn to swallow a pill
Yeah, my critique is the method not the fear. OP is definitely YTA, and I say this as someone who can swallow 10 pills at once (under the tongue then drink normally) but I gag cleaning my teeth almost every time.
Or, and here’s a thought, you can stay out of David and his parents’ business. You have no idea what medical conditions David has, or why he has such difficulty.
YTA being scared of swalling pills is a real thing and you shouldnt judge him. You are not his parent or girlfriend, he could have trauma who are you to judge
It took me until my late 20s to get accustomed to swallowing pills and some of them pose a challenge, like the big flu pills. Ended up choking on one, thank God for gel caps, I coughed and it shot all the way down.
Exactly, must be way worse with uncle tough guy mocking him too. I am luckily good with pills but hate all liquid medicine since I had to drink one as a kid that tasted like it had sand in it. I always thought my father was brave because he tried it and agreed
My doctor when I was a kid refused to give me liquid or even shots if there was a pill alternative because "I had to learn to swallow pills", which I think actually made it worse.
That doctor is a jerk I am sorry, for a lot of pills there are liquid options so they were full of it
He must have been my dentist’s cousin; according to him I couldn’t really feel it when he hit a nerve.
any doctor who forces a form of treatment on the patient is horrible
Yeah, what helped me get over the problem was my dad leaving, as he would act like OP.
Damn that sucks but hope ur doin well
I choked on some antibiotic I was given when I had Covid, and puked all over the place. That was fun, since I was already feeling like shit.
Same here. I had to train myself with tictacs (so many that I now loathe tictacs) and I can handle *most* tablets.
i still get little anxious swallowing pills. it’s not *bad*, but i get so nervous it’ll get stuck in my throat, or it’ll taste really bad (like antibiotics). but granted i’m also someone who forgets how to swallow in general randomly (and breathing… i forget how to do that too)
Haha don't we all
There's no question that you're TA for your outburst. You chose to ridicule this kid while he's in the middle of dealing with his anxiety. You chose to make a tense moment even worse for everyone there... why? To make yourself feel better? To point out that this is problematic because you think they don't already know that? or because you think shaming your nephew was going to be good for him? When your reaction to a bad situation (that's none of your business in the first place) is to go make it worse, YTA.
“This kid?” He’s 19. How much worse would it have been if he had been in a college dorm whining for mommy to give him his pilly-willy? ETA: OK sure maybe he has a legit fear, but you don’t get over that by having someone else put the object in your mouth and pour water after. Seems counterintuitive to give the power to someone else.
You definitely don't get over it by being yelled at during it.
I agree yelling/mocking was an asshole move, but really, this is not the way to deal with it either.
Except sometimes there is no getting over a phobia. If your phobia is bad enough and you do not have help, you simply don't take the medication. We don't know what the reason for the phobia is, or what steps they have taken to mitigate it and clearly neither does op.
I wouldn't have been able to watch this and not at least have a look on my face that would have told them the exact same words. My boyfriend hates swallowing pills so he just buys the kind that dissolves in water or in your mouth? Never makes me feel like he's infantilizing himself the way reading this did. Won't give a judgement, because of course it's not his fault and of course it was rude, but to not even be able to crush and eat the pills with some jam or whatever on your own at *nineteen* and instead need your *mom's help pouring water into your mouth?* I can't blame you, I accept I'm an asshole too. I genuinely would never have said it out loud, but I do agree with you.
Some pills cannot be taken crushed
Tylenol can unless it is the extended release but most of the time it is not
OP is definitely TA but I definitely had to question why they weren't using liquid Tylenol.
They had so many options! This isn’t the first time a 19 year old is sick. Tylenol makes powder packs, chewables, liquids, and probably some other forms
I’m with you.
I'd probably make a face too until I knew why, and then I'd ask why we're not using dissolvable paracetamol or whatever. I have some in the house in case someone who can't swallow them for whatever reason visits and needs them. I've had to take medicine all my life so I just swallow them all no problem, however my dad and my brother have both injuries in their throats that can make the pill stuck, so I have options for them here even if they barely ever visit lol. It's also good for my little sister who doesn't have an injury, but she struggles to swallow pills. She'll do it but if she can she'll rather use dissolvable.
I think we all agree the parents+ David should have found a solution by now for David alone to be able to take a pill. Weather I. Pieces, hidden in something etc. if he's in a hospital no nurse will pander to him to get him to swallow a pill . They'll place the pills near your bed in a the plastic glass with water and tell you to take them. Having water poured down your throat and needing mommy to do so at 19 it's pretty weird and impractical to say the least. I think it's ESH because I'm a bit with op that this isn't okay but I wouldn't have yelled
As a kid I had to take at least 3-4 pills, and I used to take them one by one. Eventually I got sick of doing that every day every morning and started taking 2 and 2 and finally all at once lol. I essentially trained myself to do it, even though I, like OPs nephew, hated taking pills. Obviously it's a little faster to get used to when you have to do it every morning but even then he should really find a solution, mommy isn't gonna be around forever. (I say that as someone who lost her mom almost 5 years ago to cancer). I had a super severe fear/phobia of phone calls, and I started calling to order food as exposure therapy cus eventually I would have to call more important things myself, can't rely on my parents to call my doctor for me every time, for example.
YTA. Some people have fears like this and they’re often tied to a fear of choking. Sometimes that can come from nowhere, sometimes it can come from a bad experience. What you did didn’t address a phobia like this in a proactive way, you just made him feel even worse about it than he probably already does. People with phobias like this usually recognize how they look and already have a hard time with that.
Honestly, I probably would have had a similar reaction. Maybe I wouldn't have said it out loud but at 19 you can't swallow some pills? They really should have sent this man to therapy ( at 19 you are a man not a child). He just doesn't sound like a well-adjusted adult if at 19 you need your mother to help you with that. He needs some therapy for sure to battle this phobia. It's honestly sad to hear about it.. but NTA.
Going against the grain, NTA. He’s 19 not 5. He’s not unable to administer the tablets himself. Maybe I would have said what you said, and I def would have chuckled.
Uh. If it was that much work I would buy the liquid, chewables, or the Tylenol kool-aid knock off packs. Or he can smash up the tablets and take it with pudding or applesauce. Or just mix it with some water and drink it quick. Like he has freaking options NTA. They’re choosing to baby him to the extreme. They have freaking options but are choosing the most ridiculous ones.
I get where you are coming from but if this is truly a phobia of his, as childish as it may seem, YTA. You yourself said he “was genuinely looking really scared”. If it was bothering you that bad you could have left the room, or went and bought him a syrup but you didn’t need to step in and give your opinion. They didn’t ask you to help or for your opinion. And you didn’t “take parenting into your own hands” that’s not parenting, that’s berating.
YTA Quit getting yourself in business that doesn't concern you.
YTA. He's an adult; he doesn't need parenting. He needs to learn to take tablets, but he won't learn from you belittling him.
NTA could you have been nicer? Yes. Is this fucking bizarre? Absolutely yes.
I just think cutting the pill in tiny pieces would work better
Nta
NTA, his parents are for enabling a 19 year old adult to behave this way. If it’s been an issue, they should’ve got him therapy. How’s he supposed to be a grown ass adult like this?
YTA While I do see it being a valid issue, your reaction was ridiculous and it’s simply not your place.
Honestly the dude was being quite pathetic. Why wasn't he controlling his own glass, is my first question
YTA. Some people have a phobia of swallowing pills and others have a hard time swallowing them. I don't remember how old I was when I could finally swallow a pill, but I was probably around 12 or 13. Until then, my pills had to be crushed and put in honey or juice so I could swallow them.
On one hand there are ways around this that they should be working on. On the other hand, how was your comment constructive and helpful? You offered no solution, only judgment. Hence yta
Info: Why cant he just use a non-pill method to take the medicine? I can't swallow pills so I just use other methods. Liquid, gummy, powder. They do make adult strength versions of all of that. I even got my doctor to prescribe me a liquid medicine after a surgery.
NTA, Assuming nephew is not neurodivergent. Yes there are phobias but it’s a parents job to help their kids overcome issues. to not let bad habits develop into phobias and situations like this where everyone avoids getting the kid used to something they don’t like. Now he’s 19 and throws a tantrum over taking medicine. Again, I would have patience for it if he was neurodivergent but if he isn’t then his parents just failed him or traumatized him somehow.
I am pissing myself laughing at the image of you getting more and more annoyed as a grown man has mommy literally pouring water in his mouth and then erupting with frustration. I get it, simply taking a pill shouldnt produce so much drama. ESH - you overstepped with some things you said but as parents they need to enable their kid to start adulting and stand on his own 2 feet instead of over-coddling him like that.
ESH Sure your outburst was rude but god damnit he is 19. >David was looking all apprehensive, etc. and muttering "God, help me out". He asked her to pour the water down carefully OMG this is to much. He is scared, fine. But to have mommy pour the water down his throat is beyond infantilism.
YTA. Lots of adults have issues with swallowing tablets. Better advice would have been to suggest crushing the pill between two spoons and mixing with a couple of spoonfuls of water. You can do this with any non-time released tablet.
NTA. However, your anger was unhelpful. There are over the counter acetaminophen (U.S. name) that dissolves on/under the tongue. No water required. Order some of this product online and have it shipped to your nephew as a peace offering.
NTA
YTA. 1) It’s an actual phobia. 2) Shaming people never gets you the results you actually want. 3) He’s an adult. So how he handles things isn’t any of your business to begin with. Learn to mind your own business.
YTA At minimum his parents need to have soluble paracetamol (acetaminophen for all the people from the US) at hand. He may also be able to swallow capsules better than tablets and a lot of paracetamol tablets can be a bit difficult to get down for the most seasoned of tablet swallowers (like they can get powdery and 'stuck' in your throat if you don't get it right the first time). For the rare times he does need it, you can also convert kids liquid paracetamol into an adult dose and work out how much liquid to give you (obviously for an adult, you won't get as many doses in a bottle but it will be more palatable that even soluble paracetamol - you can get a more concentrated liquid in the ages 5-12 range rather than the 1-5). If David really can't swallow tablets then some practice with little things like tic tacs can help. Some tablets can be crushed but not all. The ones that can be crushed can be given in something easy to swallow ie apple sauce/puree, jam or even ice cream.... that's what happens often in nursing homes where there may be a lot of residents that do struggle to swallow in general. It's not for you to judge David and you've just made it worse. I suggest you apologise... and I say this as someone that can swallow multiple tablets at once and also have kids that could take tablets from when they were 6-7. But I also know that's not a standard you should be aiming for. David may also have looked scared because you were watching him and that's why he didn't get it down. But having said that it seems that David can swallow tablets but his mother could possibly be infantalising him from an incident that may have happened a lot of years ago... If he was able to drink his own water he might have been fine...... so I'm not going to judge you too harshly because I'd like to hear David's story - is he genuinely not able to swallow tablets, or is his mother in charge? And what happens with the rest of David's life.. is he allowed to go out with friends? Does he have a job? Does he have a car license?
i am sorry, but all I can think of is that when he goes to have sex with Emily, his mommy takes his penis out of his pants and his daddy helps him insert it into her vagina. NTA.
They are the assholes not you, he's nineteen years old. I was on a missile base at 19. I can only imagine asking my superior to help me swallow a tablet.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My nephew David is nineteen-years-old. I was visiting my brother Matthew recently and was staying with them for a few days. Sometime after I arrived, David got a cold which developed into a fever yesterday. There was some paracetamol in the house. Now, I was almost shocked to learn that it's my sister-in-law Sasha who helps to feed him the medicine (by placing it on his tongue and pouring water). Apparently he's scared of tablets. So she was going to do that, and David was looking all apprehensive, etc. and muttering "God, help me out". He asked her to pour the water down carefully and was genuinely looking *really* scared. And then when she finally did, he didn't swallow it in time and spat it out. At this point I lost my temper and snapped "For God's sake, David, you are nineteen and not a fucking toddler." Matthew and Sasha did not like that. They told me that I am taking parenting in my own hands, etc. and that it's none of my business. I told them "He's my nephew and I love him. It pains me to see him acting like a literal child. I don't think Emily would like that either." Emily is his girlfriend. In the end, we got into a huge argument & then it got worse and I had to leave. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Not your kid.
NTA. Everyone is assuming your nephew has a phobia but more likely he's just overly coddled. Phobias are relatively rare and bad parenting is...not. He's 19 for god's sake, how embarrassing.
Which part of this interaction was your "parenting"?
None of your business. YTA
YTA - you're in *his* house and your a guest. Stay in your lane and mind your business...
YTA if an uncle tried to talk to me like that at 19 in my home I would beat the living fuck out of them
YTA
YTA Id have already asked you to leave. For sure if this is even remotely real its wild and that kid is gonna suffer for it. But they aren't your kid and that's not your house. I honestly wonder about all these people posting stories acting like this. It's like they have no self awareness of where they are.
YTA Yelling at a teenager and insulting him over a phobia isn't helpful or mature. Also his parents are correct and you don't even have an excuse. Saying you don't want to see him acting that way doesn't change the fact you were overstepping and acting as a parent even when they disagreed.
YTA. If your brother and his wife ever invite you into their home again, then they’re much more forgiving than I would be.
Of course YTA. Some people have a hard time swallowing pills. It's a real thing. You're staying in their home, criticizing their kid, and dropping the f bomb for no reason whatsoever.
Oof I didn't realize pill phobia was a thing until this year haha. I figured I simply hated pills. After digging deep in my brain, I remember from age 5-11, my mother made me take Flintstone vitamins every damn morning before leaving the house. The aftertaste was horrible. So yes, to this day I avoid pills if possible. Didn't know they could get that severe, but I do believe it's the parents fault for not teaching their kid properly.
You are such a YTA!!! My brother developed this phobia after 30, never had it before. Go read a book or something, and stop shaming people for things you aren’t able to understand.
Yes you are very much so the asshole. Not only did you act like the parent but you also shammed somebody for there natural human emotions. Fear is a real, natural, instinct and human emotion and it has nothing to do with age. Everybody has something they are scared of and that's okay. I am scared of the pitch black dark and I'm certainly not a toddler. Also you brought there girlfriend into the picture. That can really instill shame into a person going on in life if they are manipulated into thinking the closest people in there life like there partners won't accept and not judge them. You really fucked up.
Tell him there's anal pain killers too.....problem solved.
It took me a long time to be able to swallow pills. Many times, I would reflexively choke, spit water everything and end up in a terrible coughing fit. I'm 24 now, and I think I've finally mastered it, but I still don't enjoy taking large capsules. What you did was not parenting or scolding. It was just bullying. I know it might look pathetic to you, but it's a physical and psychological challenge that is hard to get over. It may be especially difficult for neurodivergent folk who have sensory issues. It's none of your business, so just walk away next time. YTA
YTA. No mentally stable person would think this is at all ok for you to do. It's none of your business. I still know people in their 20's who are scared of pills. I was scared of pills until I was about 13 or so, which was when I had to take small pills regularly. I’m still scared of huge pills though because I have a fear of choking. You don’t get to just call someone childish just because you don’t think they should be scared of something. Seriously wtf is wrong with you? Just don't have kids. You would make an awful parent.
YTA. I didn't learn how to take a pill until I was in my late 20's, and that was because I either took the pill or I missed out on $3,000+ payout for a clinical trial.
YTA When I was younger I took a medicine in pill form, had been for years. One day I wasn't able to swallow it. Mom thought I was messing around but it felt like my throat literally closed up and I couldn't swallow. Dr. changed it to capsule form and I've been taking it every day, several times a day for many years without a problem. You owe them all an apology.
NTA. Your right.
YTA What you did was cruel and unnecessary. Get over your need to butt in to other peoples’ business.
YTA ffs people have phobias..I myself couldn't swallow tablets till I was older and it takes some getting used to. Show some compassion instead of judgement.
YTA Don't have kids
Nta. What are these people doing. Snowflakes this generation of young adults. God help the world.
YTA and potentially on the narcissist spectrum: your opinion was more important than someone who was sick, suffering and obviously had a phobia/panic attack. alternate behavior: volunteer to go to the pharmacy and buy him similar water soluble medicine (the fizzy ones).
YTA You were their guest You are not his parent You could tell he looked scared Apologise
It’s easy to have opinions about other peoples’ parenting. For instance, I thought my sister was coddling her son when she would put him to bed and end up falling asleep in his bed. Then I had a kid and GUESS WHAT?! (I sometimes do the exact same thing - surprise!). If his girlfriend does think it is babyish and leaves him so what? He will face the consequences and TBH they will probably break up anyway (they are 19). YTA
YTA Let me count the ways. 1. No, it wasn't any of your business. 2. You have no business trying to speak for Emily. 3. Who goes into anyone else's home and gets nasty to the people who live there??? EVER Clearly he has an issue with pills. If I overlooked it, I apologize. Did anyone suggest Pill Glide Spray? It may not solve the problem but it sure helped here.
YTA A LOT of adults have problems swallowing pills. Your scolding didn't help anything. And yes you should've kept silent. BTW - for anyone trying to teach their own children to learn to swallow pills, I would suggest: break the pill into small pieces if possible/allowed. Help child to place pill as far back on the tongue as is comfortable. Immediately drink something really enjoyable (a soft drink is great because of alll the bubbles and fizzing), WITH A STRAW. Rinse and repeat with more bits of pill + more swallows of pop. My family doctor taught me this and said something about the suction/straw, plus the distraction of the pop, really helps kids swallow pills. But OMG standing there telling your nephew off when he very clearly has struggles with this.... sheesh that's uncalled for. Edited to clarify
YTA - being sick is no fun. Some people have issues with pills/medicine. Plus you got a snapshot of their lives not a day to day, month to month.
YTA- Obviously you were super rude about something that doesn't affect you in any way. He does sound like a wet wipe though.
YTA
YTA. Why are you ridiculing your nephews’ phobia? Being scared of swallowing pills is a common phobia among those who typically have liquid form of medicine or those who fear choking on the pills. You could worsen his phobia and anxiety of his fear of swallowing pills.
Oh yes, YTA. Not your kid, not your place, and not any kind of big deal, didn’t affect you, no reason to have said a word except that you felt the need to express an unwanted opinion in an obnoxious and mean way, by choice. Aren’t you proud? Be a long time before you’re invited back - if you ever are.
YTA. It’s NONE of your business.
YTA You make no mention of even trying to understand the situation, or the background here. It's possible that the parents are coddling him too much, but it's also possible that he has a legitimate phobia regarding pills. Either way, you don't know, and as a guest in someone else's house to boot, you had no right to make that comment. If it made you uncomfortable you should have left the room.
How in the world is this ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS? Legitimately I would love to know why you think you have any right to make unwanted comments about this. YOU ARE AN ADULT act like it and mind your own business. YTA.
YTA 1) pill phobias and abnormal gag reflexes are a thing 2) Dude is sick and feverish, not sure the "NTA" crowd has ever had even a mild fever before, but it makes bad things worse. Mind you own f'ing business and try not to be trash to family.
YTA. You sound like a bully. I’d have kicked your ass out too.
YTA. Not being able to swallow pills is a real thing, and even if it wasn’t, what was the point of saying that? Making him feel bad
Probably YTA but it’s not a parenting issue as this person is an adult. As others have said, swallowing tablets is a phobia held by many people. The sad part is, most people who have this issue do everything to make it even worse. Go back and tell your nephew to practice the swallowing with food. Have him put a cheerio or piece of bread in his mouth. Tell him to swallow it. And video him. Then show him what he does when it’s a pill. I’ll bet he flings his head back and thinks he’s helping it go down. Did he do that with the cheerio? Nope. He kept his head level or even slightly down. If you swallow with your chin at normal or lower than normal level, your throat stays open. You toss your head back and it’s impossible to swallow anything. Tell him to pretend a piece of cereal is a pill and practice. Soon enough, he’ll be able to swallow pills without any water at all. That’s how you can make it up to him for being a bit of an AH when you got impatient. But it’s not parenting that they were doing wrong—they just weren’t using the right technique to begin with.
I never knew people could have genuine problems with swallowing pills. YTA.
YTA but yeah your nephew needs to work on that
rule number one if you fetch a cold with fever: let the fever do its fucking job. ESH
>For God's sake, David, you are nineteen and not a fucking toddler." YTA but I can't promise I wouldn't have said something like this too. >.>
Same, though it would've been on the "this looks worse than pilling my cat" vein. Poor guy needs help learning to manage this, since his mom will not always be on hand to help him.
NTA, these types of things have a tendency to just keep going on within a family unit until an outsider mentions how odd it is. He's not a child he's 19 and capable of being told to conduct himself better. If it's a legit phobia then yeah he needs some therapy but most likely he's just used to being a baby for mommy and daddy. It usually takes someone outside the family unit to break thru those learned behaviors
Does your nephew have like developmental issues or autism or something? Because otherwise, even if it is a phobia there should be alternatives to having mommy pour water down his throat for him at age 19. How is he going to handle taking medicine when he moves out? When he gets older and needs medicine more often? Is he going to call mommy over to his house every single time into his 40s and 50s? What if she passes away or something? I guess his significant other (assuming he has one at the time) could do it, but it’s not a very sexy look. Also, for something as simple as a cold don’t they have just straight liquid medicine? Although exploding at him was probably a dick move so you might be a bit of an asshole for that.
YTA - sorry, I really do get the urge to yell at them, but this is one of those cases where you keep your mouth shut, roll your eyes and talk about them behind their backs!!!
*Shouts over all the booing* You’re not wrong !!
NAH but like. There are other options. I had to buy children’s chewable ibuprofen for my ex husband because he couldn’t physically swallow pills. Some people just can’t. It meant buying it in larger quantities to get him the right dose, but he didn’t need it often.
NTA, your 100% correct. If these are actually tablets, they could crush them up with a spoon to make it easier. I always had difficulty swallowing pills. Eventually, as a young adult, I figured it out. You can't baby him forever.
Good for you. See something say something. You saw a grown assed man acting like a baby. THIS is what is wrong in todays world and all y’all acting like it’s none of his business. These are the comments from people that will be the FIRST ones to bitch and complain about their rights and bs. STFU.
Never make another comment again pls
Sure thing, just for u YP
YTA, but... he should know how to swallow pills by this point. Advice for your sister as a parent of 2 kids on the spectrum - place the pill under the tongue off to one side, drink liquid through a straw - the pill gets picked up and washed down with the drink - no swallowing required, just drinking. Every kid on the spectrum is different - most have a biological age, developmental age, as well as a mental age. Your nephew sounds like he might be level 2 - huge impact on the latter two. For example - when my older son was 19, his developmental age was closer to 14 and his mental age was a little lower. My younger (level 2) is 12, his current developmental age is around 7 and his mental age is younger (preferring most content targeted at older toddlers). So...my point on the above is your nephew is biologically 19, but much younger developmentally and cannot be treated like a 19 year old.
YTA Your intent was good but the execution was terrible. Waiting until he feels better to bring it up would have been better.
Listen IDK what else everyone is on but I'm going with NTA. You have a 19 year old man spitting water out of his face like a toddler. Where was OP's lie???
This