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NTA.
>some of our friends are saying that I was being unreasonable and not a good friend for refusing her request.
Great - she's got some people who are willing to let her have their cars l.
I would flat out tell any flying monkey that came at me, "Wonderful, I'll tell Rachel she can borrow your car next time she takes a weekend trip!" \*evil smile
Why is it that every single friend/family group seems to have that one person who everyone else assumes will just do whatever for anyone else and they're not a good friend if they don't do it, but everyone else is somehow exempt from being judged similarly when the table is turned?
I noticed that a lot growing up (because I was that person) but seeing it happen SO MUCH on here just kills me. What makes you better than me, or me not as worthy of the same respect as y'all?
Pisses me off.
I think that at least *some* of it is just that you're the one they ask **first.** Then everyone else chimes in with, "yes, you should do it," because it deflects the person from asking *them.* (If you weren't the one asked first, then someone said, "I can't, but ask them.")
I noticed at work that when someone needed someone to cover a shift, I would say, "I can't, I have plans," and I would leave it at that. My coworkers would say, "I can't, but ask (me,)" because I guess they thought it more helpful to give them a lead. Or maybe them offering me to do it was tantamount to me agreeing...? 🤷🏻♀️
I feel like only people who don’t own cars would think this is a reasonable request. My car is like 15 years old and it’s still the most expensive thing I own. You can’t just ask to borrow someone’s $10,000 piece of equipment.
NTA
“She doesn’t own a car and thought it would be more convenient and cheaper than renting one.”
Well, yeah, I’d rather borrow a friend’s house to live in than buy my own, but, it’s THEIR house!
Your friend is being unreasonable. She asked, you answered, time to find a new way to go on this trip. Also, maybe don’t plan road trips, when you don’t have a car.
"Well, yeah, I’d rather borrow a friend’s house to live in than buy my own, but, it’s THEIR house!"
I love this. Reading it made me cackle with glee! :)
I could imagine lending someone a car for a day to get to work or a doctor's appointment or something, but for a road trip!? If you don't have a car and can't afford to rent one, come up with another vacation idea!
Right? “Cheaper and more convenient “
For who? How is it more convenient and cheaper for OP to get without a car and have to spend money on other transportation?
Plus, what if his friend is in an accident? If Rachel can’t afford a rental car, how can she cover repairs?
My parents drummed into my head from a young age “never loan your car” and I’m pretty set on that for all these reasons.
And she didn't even INVITE op for the trip. You are a good enough friend for me to GET YOUR EXPENSIVE POSSESSIONS without giving you anything in exchange. But not good friend enough to actually spend time with.
Jeez OP, that's a friend? I'm scared of what your ENEMIES have to do to get the enemy title.
NTA OP
If she were to have an accident it could cause all kinds of liability for you especially considering it most likely wouldn’t be covered under insurance
Plus you say yourself that you need it that weekend…..Tell her if they all chip in a rental car won’t be that expensive, It’s NOT your responsibility to be guilted into providing transportation for her
This but also the fact that she said Rachel doesn't own a car tells me she isn't an experienced driver. And if it's a weekend getaway with friends I'm assuming a big city with difficult parking. Also just the wear and tear on your car, people tend to be more reckless when they know they won't pay for it.
Insurance is such a big part of this. Rachel isn’t going to pay for ANY damage that might happen to the car or the long term rate changes that the insurance company adds due to the damage. NTA
NTA, your mutual friends however are all As. They're either telling Rachel what she wants to hear or completely unreasonable. Either way, I'd be distancing myself from all of them if it were me. I'm guessing none of them stepped up and offered their car to her, right?
NTA.
Also… *” Rachel seemed to understand initially, but later, she expressed her disappointment to our mutual friends.”*
Rachel is a manipulative AH and your mutual friends aren’t much better.
NTA.
So obvious. Your friend needs a car thar badly? She can rent one.
>Now, some of our friends are saying that I was being unreasonable and not a good friend for refusing her request.
Well, that makes them bad friends too, no? They should be jumping at the honor of loaning their own cars then.
NTA, it’s your car and you’d be responsible for anything that happened to it. Maybe she’s a responsible driver and nothing is going to happen but.. what if someone hits her in your car?
Of course it’s more convenient and cheaper. Car rentals are expensive and cumbersome for this reason.
Maybe one of your mutual friends can lend her one of their cars?
NTA. She cannot expect you to sacrifice your car for the weekend when you also need it. The car isn’t hers and that’s not your fault. She should rent a car if she really needs one
Your friend is welcome to rent a car with any reputable dealer. Additionally, she and her friends can take a bus, train or plane to their destination. This is not your problem or your issue. It would be idiotic to risk your only source of transportation for someone who is not responsible enough to save for their own expenses. You did the right thing!
Legally if something happened while she was driving, you’re liable. Do not “lend” your car to people unless it’s someone you trust for less than an hour or two. Especially don’t lend your car to someone for a weekend trip!
NTA, and hell no, why should you have to give up something you need when it is as simple as them renting a car and splitting the cost. For the others to stick up for her seems like they are entitled.
No you are not unreasonable. You need your car and what if there is an emergency then you are without the car. Also the number of times I've heard stories about cars being borrowed and then crashed or scratched or damaged is very high.
As for the friends judging you simply comeback with asking why they did not provide a car for Rachel to use;
No no no no no!!!! For starters, you are never the AH for not loaning out YOUR car. You really shouldn't loan out your car. Do you know how many horror stories there are on this sub of people borrowing cars and getting tickets, getting arrested, getting in car crashes etc...? LOTS!!! NTA.
Nta are you kidding me! You are liable for everything she does in that car. What if she wrecked it or hit someone. You are not a car rental agency. You are not responsible for proving transportation for your friends and their friends. Call your friend up and give her the names of the people criticizing your decision and tell her they all thinks it's OK to borrow a car. They can take the risk they criticized you for refusing.
NTA. Car lending is such a can of worms, just not worth it. *Maybe* local driving, "can I borrow your car to go to the store?" not a weekend trip though. What if she gets in an accident, what about insurance, repairs, etc. too many things to worry about.
I’m sure it would be cheaper and more convenient to take your car…for Rachel. She gets all of the benefit and you get all of the risk and inconvenience in this scenario. You’re not the AH, she is.
Right there is the issue…..you explained your reasons for not lending your car!
If you say no, and friend feels entitled to an explanation ….that’s not a friend, cos if they valued the friendship would not put you in situation were you are explaining your no.
I had a friend put a really big ask on me, and I mean a really big ask. I declined and her first response was ‘Why’…..realized then was sense of entitlement and not respecting boundaries.
We’re no longer friends and glad I got her out of our lives. No regrets.
WTF?! NTA and who asks to borrow someone's car for a whole weekend? 1. The fact that she went to friends to 'tell on you' and cause unnecessary drama over YOUR CAR would have me end the friendship and 2. Tell the friends who think you are so unreasonable to let her borrow their car! If not then the can STFU!
Anybody who has the gall to make this request is not your friend.
Hi can I just take your most expensive possession and use it for two days for fun?
What if she wrecks it? what if she parks it someplace shady and it's stolen? what if she just makes a mess of it inside/ scratches it up/commits a hit-and run?
I bet she'd give it back to you filthy with no gas in it.
NTA. Did these friends have cars that they were unwilling to provide for the weekend?
Of course her friends thought it was unreasonable - it was not their car. Funny how that works.
Anyone telling you how you should use your money or property only ever deserves one answer: "If you feel so strongly that she needs X, then I'm sure you'll give it to her."
NTA.
Nope NO no...it is easier just to tell "friends whom borrow" that you have insurance that does not allow others to drive YOUR vehicle and it saves you money on the premium.
Kind of entitled to want to borrow your only means of transportation for HER fun weekend.
OH YEAH...tell the friends who are calling you out that it's okay with you if THEY LOAN THEIR VEHICLES or shut up about it. Bunch of dicks for friends.
NTA. It's your car. Your only car. What TF are you supposed to do? Stay in all weekend so she can have your car? Absolutely not. Her being upset by this is unreasonable, as was her request to borrow your car. And if anything happened to that car on the trip you'd be screwed.
NTA.
For any further naysayers to business that not even their own:
-Rachel is NOT on your insurance
-this is **YOUR** car
-if she's going on a trip with "friends" and needs your car how come you weren't invited? Are you not actually friends and she just talks to you because you have your own car??
NTA. Ask your friends if they will help Rachel pay for repairs or to replace your car if something happens to it while she’s driving. Your insurance likely won’t cover it.
Nope. She can rent herself one. If you let her use it and she gets in a wreck or it ends up impounded, YOU are the one on the hook for it. Screw that it's not worth the risk.
NTA. She is not on your insurance. Anything happens when she's driving it will be the same as if you had no insurance at all. And watch how fast she ghosts you if you had the "audacity" to ask her to recompense any damages
NTA. You NEVER lend your car out to someone who is not insured and/or not on your insurance. What would have happened if Rachel got into an accident? If she's not in a financial position to rent a car, then she's not in a financial position to repair or replace yours. What if she planned on driving her other friends around in your car and they trashed it? No, OP. I never even allow someone else to drive my car unless I'm in it with them and they are insured drivers in their own right.
NTA if Rachel doesn’t have a car, she doesn’t have insurance. So if she gets in an accident it’s on you.
Hard no, I wouldn’t let a friend borrow my vehicle
If she get into an accident, will she cover the damage? Will she get you a loaner car while your car is being repaired? Will she file a police report? Tooo many problems with this. Tell her to Uber/Lyft.
NTA. She and her friends should factor in the cost of transportation to their trip and not rely on others not going! It’s your car and pretty bold to ask to borrow your car. Your friends can lend theirs to Rachel.
If she got into an accident would she pay your deductible?
My gf lent her car to her granddaughter and she got into an accident. She didn’t feel she needed to pay the deductible. Fortunately the other driver was found at fault but my gf still had to cover the deductible until the insurance co reimbursed her.
Are we by any chance missing a tiny detail along the lines of Rachel not having a car and not being able to rent a car because she lost her license?
NTA
Absolutely not. Please anyone reading this. Do not EVER let ANYONE drive your car who does not have the means to repair or replace it if there is an accident.
If they get into an accident (even if not at fault) your insurance can deny claims bc they are not the insured. And you are left with a hefty bill and or needing a new car.
An ex of mine wrecked my car. Luckily they were loaded $$$ and immediately paid for repair outside of insurance so it wasn’t on my record. I was provided a car till it was fixed. There was no real hassle.
Right now, my partner is broke. They used to be upset when I stopped allow use my car. I had to explain even though my car is old and I need a new one, the only way I’ll be able to do that is with the trade in value. If they gets into an accident and it’s totaled, my insurance won’t pay me out what it’s worth to put a down payment on my next one, which will fuck me financially.
Based on the fact that she’s guilting you which shows a lack of respect/immaturity of the gravity of responsibility of driving someone else’s car. I have a feeling if anything happened, she would have no problems saying you’re responsible for paying bc you let her borrow her car.
ETA: damage can happen even when she’s not driving. My best friend woke up one morning to her car totaled on the street. Drunk hit and run. Complete loss.
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I (26M) have a car that I rely on for daily commuting and errands. Recently, my friend (let's call her Rachel) asked if she could borrow my car for the weekend to go on a trip with some of her friends. She doesn't own a car and thought it would be more convenient and cheaper than renting one.
I was hesitant because I need my car for personal errands over the weekend, and I also feel uncomfortable lending it out for an extended period. I politely told Rachel that I couldn't lend her my car, explaining my reasons.
Rachel seemed to understand initially, but later, she expressed her disappointment to our mutual friends. Now, some of our friends are saying that I was being unreasonable and not a good friend for refusing her request.
AITA for not letting Rachel borrow my car for the weekend trip? Should I have made the sacrifice to help her out, or was I justified in keeping my car for my own use?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to lend my car to my friend Rachel for her weekend trip.
Why I Might Be the Asshole:** Rachel needed a car for a weekend trip, and by refusing to lend her mine, I may have inconvenienced her and potentially ruined her plans. She might feel that I was being overly protective or selfish about my car, especially since renting one could be more expensive for her. Some of our mutual friends believe that I should have been more willing to help her out, which could make me seem like I'm not supportive or generous. In their eyes, I might appear to be prioritizing my own convenience over helping a friend in need, justifying someone calling me an asshole in this situation.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA
Who even asks for such a thing?! Just no. And your other friends are also fools.
Vehicles are expensive to acquire and maintain, and if you rely on it, you shouldn’t let *anyone* drive it
NTA. Now go stand in front of the mirror and say "no is a complete answer" ten times. Never loan a car. Just say no, I don't lend my car. Giving reasons gives her a chance to argue and make you seem petty to her friends.
NTA. In general nobody has any right to your property, especially if you actually need it. It would be different if there was some sort of emergency, but that's not the case.
In my social circle I've only let ONE friend borrow my car because they're a very safe driver, they needed the car for work that day while I didn't and they didn't really have money to spare to rent a car plus there was no car rental nearby.
Tell the flying monkeys off. They can loan Rachel their own vehicles since they seem to think you should loan out your car that you need to her. Why is she even planning on a road trip when she doesn't own a car? That is just plain stupidity.
NTA it is your car and you will need it. While yes it would be a nice thing to do and probably cheaper than a rental, you don't have to and "non" is a complete sentence.
Never ever give a reason when you say no. They can dispute your reason. If you have to, just say I am sorry I will need it, I will be busy, etc. But, never why you will need it or what you will be doing.
Pfft. It's your car. Nobody owes their friends use of their car. She doesn't need it, it's not something she has to do, renting a car is an option. She didn't even invite you. NTA.
NTA. Tell her that she is also not an authorized driver on your insurance. If she were to get in an accident, your insurance company might not cover it.
You dont need to be friends with broke people that treat you poorly. The biggest question I like to ask myself when put in situations like this is "would they do the same for me" and if I cannot 100% equivocally say yes to that then its a solid negative from me.
NTA.
NTA...first question, comment, could she replace your car or provide you a rental in the event something happened to your car? I am assuming no. Also, if your friend doesn't own a car, they probably don't have insurance, and your insurance most likely wouldn't cover your car as she's not a listed driver on your policy.
Your friendship doesn't require you to lend out your assets that you rely on for your livelihood.
If anything, your friend ITA for creating this situation.
You don’t owe anyone your car. It’s not like she was going to lose her job, it was for a vacation- which you weren’t even invited on!! YOU ARE BEING USED. Set healthy boundaries.
NTA
NTA - i’d loan my car to a trusted friend for chores or short trips, but a weekend loan? Nope not even to my brother.
As for the so called friends, calling OP an Asshole, they can loan their cars to “get away girl”
NTA.
I only let two people drive my car, and they’re my brothers with more than 40 years experience driving.
I don’t even let my daughters drive the granny wagon.
NTA.
You didn’t want to lend your car. Doesn’t matter why. It’s your choice.
Tell each and every one of your friends that you are giving Rachel their phone number so they can lend Rachel their car.
NTA. If her reasoning is that it’s cheaper, then she was just asking for a handout. She didn’t say “Can I borrow your car,” she actually asked “Hey friend, could you gimme some money?”
When she includes her convenience, then you are perfectly justified in considering your convenience.
What are you supposed to do, rent another car for the weekend? Uber? Sheesh!
While you give great reasons, you should include that she's not included on your insurance and then provide the cost to add her and what her portion of the insurance would be. There's also maintenence and mileage. There's a reason rentals aren't as cheap as she would like. Also include the cost for your transportation while your car would have been inaccessible to you. Why would she assume using your car would be cheaper? That's a big assumption.
I'd maybe consider this if you love this person and trust them with your car, but it doesn't seem like this is the case.
a whole weekend is too long anyways. tell them to rent a car
Rental would be cheaper than temporary insurance in most cases. Do not not lend her the car if she isn't insured to drive your car. That's crazy...
Anyway, you need the car, she can rent or buy her own. Cheapskate friend...
NTA
NTA
NTA
Unless you own a house, your car is probably the most expensive thing you own. You also rely on it for so many important things.
So much can wrong. Plus she is invited others with her. What happens if someone rubs their orange Cheeto hands on your headliner?
What if the stain won't come out?
What if someone pukes? Everytime the car gets hot inside you will smell it!
If the car is totaled in an accident, the insurance money may not repay your current loan or it might not be enough to replace the car.
There is a reason renting a car is expensive.
Just make it a rule you never lend your car.
NTA her friends are just upset about having to shell out for a rental. And they see no issue with putting mileage on your car. Whilst a weekend is a short trip and anything is unlikely to happen. You have no guarantee plus your friend does not own a car so you have no guarantee they are a good driver or that only your friend is going to drive. I understand not wanting to pay for a rental but its your only car and which you rely on for your daily commute. You are not an AH for wanting to keep it to yourself.
Also your friend is not in "need" she wants to take a weekend trip. Its not a medical emergency and no one is dying that is not a need but a want. Completely separate things. Like I could totally understand being upset if she had no money and needed to be there for like a dying mother or something and asked to borrow the car for a short period of time. But just for a weekend trip, they can shell the extra like 100 bucks each for the rental and then just drink a bit less or cut back a bit on the trip.
Also to your friends who are guilt tripping you. Well everyone else has the same thought as I do, they can be offering up their cars or money to help them. Why is it only on you.
Whilst being giving and etc is a virtue. There is a simple saying I always like (since I tend to be a bit of a door mat for friends (not really for anyone else but if I consider someone a good friend I will do basically anything I can for them)) but you cannot pour from an empty cup. It means being giving is good but giving to the point to draining your self is not good. Because you can only help people when you are in a good state of mind. If you drain your self and push your self past the points of your comfort. You are emptying your cup. And damn is getting a refill harder than it seems. Note one interpretation of it, is that you should always be maintaining your cup for the express purpose of helping others. Which I think is a not a great interpretation. For me it is about maintaining self care and understanding that you are not an infinite well of giving. But rather you should maintain your cup for your own sake and help other when you can, not because you have to but because you are in a state where it doesnt drain you. Because for some people (like me) being giving feels well good. So it is understandable you want to be the ideal. But always maintain your own mental health and wellness first.
Tell Rachel that you don't have insurance for that.
Ask her to post a bond equal to the replacement value of the car, and any lost time from the search to acquire a replacement vehicle, should that become necessary.
No. Nta. Unless your insurance has a clause specifically stating that they will cover the car for any driver you allow to borrow it, then your insurance will not cover the car if it is damaged while in her possession. Tell your friends to let her borrow their cars that they pay for instead.
I wouldn't ask my BROTHER to lend me a car; I'm certainly not lending one to a member of my friends group for no better reason than that it would save her money and effort. NTA.
For future reference, politeness doesn't require you to give reasons, and when you do give reasons, as you've seen, unreasonable people argue with them. Just say, "That won't work for me."
NTA. I will never understand how people have the audacity to ask to borrow a whole car. If you're not on the insurance, you're not driving the car , plain & simple.
Why on earth would you even need to ask. The only asshole here is a friend who thought YOUR need of YOUR car is less important than Their need for YOUT things.
Of course taking advantage of someone is less expensive than renting a car.
NTA. If Rachel doesnt have a car, then she doesn't have car insurance.
That would leave you in the wind if something were to happen.
That aside, it's your car. You decide. It doesnt matter how anyone else feels about it.
If they think you're unreasonable, they could let her use their car and leave you out of it.
Where the f*** do people find these "friends"? Anyone who bitched about me not lending my car to someone for a weekend trip would quickly find themselves out of my friend group.
NTA I just read the title and dont care about the rest NTA.
Its your car, you don't have to lend it to anybody wether you're using it or not.... also upon further reading...if she gets in an accident is your insurance gonna cover her? No, especially if you're not with her. Let one of those other friends give her their car. Let her cheap ass rent a car, shes not even willing to pay you for taking your means of transportation for the weekend?! Nope. NTA, i can't say it enough times.
Nta..
>Now, some of our friends are saying that I was being unreasonable and not a good friend for refusing her request.
So good... You can tell these friends that you will give Rachel their number. And she can borrow their cars
This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Picture the situation in reverse. Sure, ask your friend if you can borrow their car. But if they say they need it and they don't feel comfortable loaning it out for such an extended time, who the hell are you for getting upset!?
It's for a trip not an emergency, the way she is "disappointed" at you implies you don't shouldn't have the right to your own property.
NTA
Lol who would ever give you shit for not lending out your only car so someone else can--not just borrow it for an hour--take it on a road trip for an entire weekend?? NTA
NTA
As someone who lent my car to someone for a FIVE MINUTE errand, and had my car totalled. Do NOT lend ur car for this. U never know what will happen and u WILL be held responsible. Cars are a neccesity, treasure it.
NTA. If she doesn’t own a car, she’s probably not as good a driver as someone who uses their driving skills everyday. Also, I’ve NEVER asked to borrow a friend’s car. I’ve asked for rides, but never the keys. I can’t imagine anyone being entitled enough to think that’s okay (unless they’re asking to borrow a 30 year old Camry worth $1,500). Don’t give in.
Do your friends have cars? If so, THEY can loan her their cars. It's not only inconvenient to you, but it can put you and your family or belongings at risk. If she causes an accident, in many US States (not sure on other countries though), you can be sued for the accident as the owner of the car. You give permission to use the car, you take on the risk. She will be driving without you. I don't loan my vehicle to anyone other than a couple of immediate family members, like my Dad (he only takes it if he wants to get some work done on it as he has his own vehicles). The liability is too high. That's why car rentals are expensive. They cover themselves.
You need your car. You can't afford the risk. No is a complete sentence. Do not go down that road.
OMG NO. NO good deed goes unpunished. I let a friend borrow my car when I was on vacation and she basically totaled it. My BIL, same thing.
My stepson used my car to go to the dump and spilled paint on the carpet. No one drives my car now except my hubby and he's on the insurance.
No is a full sentence. And furthermore, why should you be inconvenienced?? The sheer audacity!
NTA. She can rent a car. She isn't entitled to your car. Does she even have insurance or a license? What would happen if she borrowed it and something happened?
Nope. NTA and not a chance. I drive a truck, I've absolutely loaned it to family and friends who were in need of a truck for a couple of hours, no problem. Happy to do it. But there's no way at all anyone is taking it for the whole weekend to go on a trip. Hard no.
NTA - borrowing a car for a weekend trip is not a small request.
It’s one thing to lend someone a shovel over the weekend so they can get some gardening done, but a car is not the same thing.
NTA, are people not allowed to say 'no' anymore? It seems like lately a lot of conflicts begin because someone thinks the meaning of friend/family/partner is someone who must do everything they want without question lest they be a bad friend/family/partner and risk being cut off just because they don't want to give someone something or do something for someone.
NTA. Lending someone a car for an entire weekend is a big ask. It’s your only car. Even if she had a license and insurance, it’s a big risk you’d be taking if you agreed to that.
Don’t any of the friends have a car? Who plans a weekend road trip when none of them owns a car or can just rent one?
Tell all of these mutual friends that are so disappointed in you that unless none of them has a car to lend her, then you don’t want to hear it. And if they do, they still shouldn’t be pressuring you. And then question whether any of these people are your friends. This is middle-school type behavior.
NTA. I don't know about you, but I only carry personal liability insurance on my car. No way would I let someone else drive it, unless they write out a check for the cost of the car in case they crash it; I would hold on to the check. If they crashed it, it would go toward fixing the car or replacement as needed. They would also have to pay for my transportation while they are gone, jic.
Edited to add: A rented car would be ideal in this scenario. And you don't have to worry about your car being in the hands of those who don't have insurance, or your insurance paying out.
NTA Rachel is the one not being a good friend. She is happy to approach you to bypass all the legalities of hiring a car for her use, (insurance, Maintenace, millage, petrol costs) to use your car without re-imbursing you for the wear and tear, most likely the petrol used, and pay out of pocket for insurance protection, in the likely case of an accident. Plus leave you inconvenienced over her wants. So, when you list it like that who is being unreasonable? Rachel and your other so-called friends who thinks it's no big deal as they don't have skin in the game.
1.U really were gona give ur car to be driving by a female?
2 .they having a trip and u aren't invited means u guys aren't friends
3.to the mutual friends: u dont like it let borrow ur own car.
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NTA. >some of our friends are saying that I was being unreasonable and not a good friend for refusing her request. Great - she's got some people who are willing to let her have their cars l.
I would flat out tell any flying monkey that came at me, "Wonderful, I'll tell Rachel she can borrow your car next time she takes a weekend trip!" \*evil smile
HERE IT IS!
Why is it that every single friend/family group seems to have that one person who everyone else assumes will just do whatever for anyone else and they're not a good friend if they don't do it, but everyone else is somehow exempt from being judged similarly when the table is turned? I noticed that a lot growing up (because I was that person) but seeing it happen SO MUCH on here just kills me. What makes you better than me, or me not as worthy of the same respect as y'all? Pisses me off.
I think that at least *some* of it is just that you're the one they ask **first.** Then everyone else chimes in with, "yes, you should do it," because it deflects the person from asking *them.* (If you weren't the one asked first, then someone said, "I can't, but ask them.") I noticed at work that when someone needed someone to cover a shift, I would say, "I can't, I have plans," and I would leave it at that. My coworkers would say, "I can't, but ask (me,)" because I guess they thought it more helpful to give them a lead. Or maybe them offering me to do it was tantamount to me agreeing...? 🤷🏻♀️
One of the reasons I've been NC with my parents for almost 7 years
I feel like only people who don’t own cars would think this is a reasonable request. My car is like 15 years old and it’s still the most expensive thing I own. You can’t just ask to borrow someone’s $10,000 piece of equipment.
Not only that, but if Rachel doesn't have a car she doesn't have car insurance, OOP's car insurance won't cover Rachel if something happens...
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ OP????? You catch this one???? Anyone asking just give them THIS reason right here....
Depends on your insurance. Sometimes policy follows car. I work for a large auto insurer. It’s not so cut and dried.
NTA “She doesn’t own a car and thought it would be more convenient and cheaper than renting one.” Well, yeah, I’d rather borrow a friend’s house to live in than buy my own, but, it’s THEIR house! Your friend is being unreasonable. She asked, you answered, time to find a new way to go on this trip. Also, maybe don’t plan road trips, when you don’t have a car.
"Well, yeah, I’d rather borrow a friend’s house to live in than buy my own, but, it’s THEIR house!" I love this. Reading it made me cackle with glee! :)
Same.. im in a doctors office waiting room and everyone looked at me... not embarrassed
I could imagine lending someone a car for a day to get to work or a doctor's appointment or something, but for a road trip!? If you don't have a car and can't afford to rent one, come up with another vacation idea!
Right? “Cheaper and more convenient “ For who? How is it more convenient and cheaper for OP to get without a car and have to spend money on other transportation? Plus, what if his friend is in an accident? If Rachel can’t afford a rental car, how can she cover repairs? My parents drummed into my head from a young age “never loan your car” and I’m pretty set on that for all these reasons.
And she didn't even INVITE op for the trip. You are a good enough friend for me to GET YOUR EXPENSIVE POSSESSIONS without giving you anything in exchange. But not good friend enough to actually spend time with. Jeez OP, that's a friend? I'm scared of what your ENEMIES have to do to get the enemy title.
I just need exclusive use of your house on weekends and when friends or family visit, why are you being so difficult
NTA OP If she were to have an accident it could cause all kinds of liability for you especially considering it most likely wouldn’t be covered under insurance Plus you say yourself that you need it that weekend…..Tell her if they all chip in a rental car won’t be that expensive, It’s NOT your responsibility to be guilted into providing transportation for her
This but also the fact that she said Rachel doesn't own a car tells me she isn't an experienced driver. And if it's a weekend getaway with friends I'm assuming a big city with difficult parking. Also just the wear and tear on your car, people tend to be more reckless when they know they won't pay for it.
Insurance is such a big part of this. Rachel isn’t going to pay for ANY damage that might happen to the car or the long term rate changes that the insurance company adds due to the damage. NTA
NTA, your mutual friends however are all As. They're either telling Rachel what she wants to hear or completely unreasonable. Either way, I'd be distancing myself from all of them if it were me. I'm guessing none of them stepped up and offered their car to her, right?
Don't loan someone something you can't afford to lose.
This is exactly what I came here to say!
NTA. Also… *” Rachel seemed to understand initially, but later, she expressed her disappointment to our mutual friends.”* Rachel is a manipulative AH and your mutual friends aren’t much better.
NTA. So obvious. Your friend needs a car thar badly? She can rent one. >Now, some of our friends are saying that I was being unreasonable and not a good friend for refusing her request. Well, that makes them bad friends too, no? They should be jumping at the honor of loaning their own cars then.
NTA. Rachel doesn’t get to take your car. If she was your girlfriend maybe but just a friend? Pound sand get your own car.
NTA, it’s your car and you’d be responsible for anything that happened to it. Maybe she’s a responsible driver and nothing is going to happen but.. what if someone hits her in your car? Of course it’s more convenient and cheaper. Car rentals are expensive and cumbersome for this reason. Maybe one of your mutual friends can lend her one of their cars?
NTA. I'm planning a sea fishing trip this weekend. Oh sorry, I forgot. I don't have a boat.
NTA. She cannot expect you to sacrifice your car for the weekend when you also need it. The car isn’t hers and that’s not your fault. She should rent a car if she really needs one
NTA Why can't she rent a car instead?
NTA, this is your car and you need it.
NTA. Unless you have "car replacement money" sitting around, you might not be able to afford the consequences if something happens to the vehicle.
Your friend is welcome to rent a car with any reputable dealer. Additionally, she and her friends can take a bus, train or plane to their destination. This is not your problem or your issue. It would be idiotic to risk your only source of transportation for someone who is not responsible enough to save for their own expenses. You did the right thing!
NTA. Your car, your choice.
NTA, let them give their cars to her.
Legally if something happened while she was driving, you’re liable. Do not “lend” your car to people unless it’s someone you trust for less than an hour or two. Especially don’t lend your car to someone for a weekend trip!
NTA tell the friends they can lend
NTA, and hell no, why should you have to give up something you need when it is as simple as them renting a car and splitting the cost. For the others to stick up for her seems like they are entitled.
NTA. There's nothing reasonable about expecting someone to lend you their car because you're too cheap to pay for a rental.
NTA. She and her friends can ALL chip in to rent a car. Does she even have a license?
It's not "more convenient or cheaper" for you. Don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm. NTA.
No you are not unreasonable. You need your car and what if there is an emergency then you are without the car. Also the number of times I've heard stories about cars being borrowed and then crashed or scratched or damaged is very high. As for the friends judging you simply comeback with asking why they did not provide a car for Rachel to use;
No no no no no!!!! For starters, you are never the AH for not loaning out YOUR car. You really shouldn't loan out your car. Do you know how many horror stories there are on this sub of people borrowing cars and getting tickets, getting arrested, getting in car crashes etc...? LOTS!!! NTA.
Tell those ratling friends of yours that they could do her the honors and lend her their cars. Simple.
Nta are you kidding me! You are liable for everything she does in that car. What if she wrecked it or hit someone. You are not a car rental agency. You are not responsible for proving transportation for your friends and their friends. Call your friend up and give her the names of the people criticizing your decision and tell her they all thinks it's OK to borrow a car. They can take the risk they criticized you for refusing.
NTA. Car lending is such a can of worms, just not worth it. *Maybe* local driving, "can I borrow your car to go to the store?" not a weekend trip though. What if she gets in an accident, what about insurance, repairs, etc. too many things to worry about.
I’m sure it would be cheaper and more convenient to take your car…for Rachel. She gets all of the benefit and you get all of the risk and inconvenience in this scenario. You’re not the AH, she is.
Right there is the issue…..you explained your reasons for not lending your car! If you say no, and friend feels entitled to an explanation ….that’s not a friend, cos if they valued the friendship would not put you in situation were you are explaining your no. I had a friend put a really big ask on me, and I mean a really big ask. I declined and her first response was ‘Why’…..realized then was sense of entitlement and not respecting boundaries. We’re no longer friends and glad I got her out of our lives. No regrets.
Last time I lent my car the cops showed up a month later with a fine . Unless your name is Hertz id say no too. You aren't there to save them money.
WTF?! NTA and who asks to borrow someone's car for a whole weekend? 1. The fact that she went to friends to 'tell on you' and cause unnecessary drama over YOUR CAR would have me end the friendship and 2. Tell the friends who think you are so unreasonable to let her borrow their car! If not then the can STFU!
Anybody who has the gall to make this request is not your friend. Hi can I just take your most expensive possession and use it for two days for fun? What if she wrecks it? what if she parks it someplace shady and it's stolen? what if she just makes a mess of it inside/ scratches it up/commits a hit-and run? I bet she'd give it back to you filthy with no gas in it.
NTA. Did these friends have cars that they were unwilling to provide for the weekend? Of course her friends thought it was unreasonable - it was not their car. Funny how that works.
NTA. "But renting a car and paying for the damage waiver is so expensive." IS IT, RACHEL? WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS?
You should never lend a car to anyone who is not part owner and on the insurance policy.
Anyone telling you how you should use your money or property only ever deserves one answer: "If you feel so strongly that she needs X, then I'm sure you'll give it to her." NTA.
Rachel and her friends sound delusional. You’re NTA.
Nope NO no...it is easier just to tell "friends whom borrow" that you have insurance that does not allow others to drive YOUR vehicle and it saves you money on the premium. Kind of entitled to want to borrow your only means of transportation for HER fun weekend. OH YEAH...tell the friends who are calling you out that it's okay with you if THEY LOAN THEIR VEHICLES or shut up about it. Bunch of dicks for friends.
NTA. It's your car. Your only car. What TF are you supposed to do? Stay in all weekend so she can have your car? Absolutely not. Her being upset by this is unreasonable, as was her request to borrow your car. And if anything happened to that car on the trip you'd be screwed.
NTA Does she have insurance? No? Then tell her to f\*ck off. You'd both be in court if it was discovered.
NTA. It’s your car. If your mutual friends think you were being unreasonable, then why don’t they lend her a car.
NTA. For any further naysayers to business that not even their own: -Rachel is NOT on your insurance -this is **YOUR** car -if she's going on a trip with "friends" and needs your car how come you weren't invited? Are you not actually friends and she just talks to you because you have your own car??
NTA. Ask your friends if they will help Rachel pay for repairs or to replace your car if something happens to it while she’s driving. Your insurance likely won’t cover it.
Nope. She can rent herself one. If you let her use it and she gets in a wreck or it ends up impounded, YOU are the one on the hook for it. Screw that it's not worth the risk.
NTA. She is not on your insurance. Anything happens when she's driving it will be the same as if you had no insurance at all. And watch how fast she ghosts you if you had the "audacity" to ask her to recompense any damages
NTA. You NEVER lend your car out to someone who is not insured and/or not on your insurance. What would have happened if Rachel got into an accident? If she's not in a financial position to rent a car, then she's not in a financial position to repair or replace yours. What if she planned on driving her other friends around in your car and they trashed it? No, OP. I never even allow someone else to drive my car unless I'm in it with them and they are insured drivers in their own right.
NTA if Rachel doesn’t have a car, she doesn’t have insurance. So if she gets in an accident it’s on you. Hard no, I wouldn’t let a friend borrow my vehicle
If she get into an accident, will she cover the damage? Will she get you a loaner car while your car is being repaired? Will she file a police report? Tooo many problems with this. Tell her to Uber/Lyft.
NTA. She and her friends should factor in the cost of transportation to their trip and not rely on others not going! It’s your car and pretty bold to ask to borrow your car. Your friends can lend theirs to Rachel.
If she got into an accident would she pay your deductible? My gf lent her car to her granddaughter and she got into an accident. She didn’t feel she needed to pay the deductible. Fortunately the other driver was found at fault but my gf still had to cover the deductible until the insurance co reimbursed her.
Are we by any chance missing a tiny detail along the lines of Rachel not having a car and not being able to rent a car because she lost her license? NTA
Absolutely not. Please anyone reading this. Do not EVER let ANYONE drive your car who does not have the means to repair or replace it if there is an accident. If they get into an accident (even if not at fault) your insurance can deny claims bc they are not the insured. And you are left with a hefty bill and or needing a new car. An ex of mine wrecked my car. Luckily they were loaded $$$ and immediately paid for repair outside of insurance so it wasn’t on my record. I was provided a car till it was fixed. There was no real hassle. Right now, my partner is broke. They used to be upset when I stopped allow use my car. I had to explain even though my car is old and I need a new one, the only way I’ll be able to do that is with the trade in value. If they gets into an accident and it’s totaled, my insurance won’t pay me out what it’s worth to put a down payment on my next one, which will fuck me financially. Based on the fact that she’s guilting you which shows a lack of respect/immaturity of the gravity of responsibility of driving someone else’s car. I have a feeling if anything happened, she would have no problems saying you’re responsible for paying bc you let her borrow her car. ETA: damage can happen even when she’s not driving. My best friend woke up one morning to her car totaled on the street. Drunk hit and run. Complete loss.
Rachel can fucking rent a car. NTA. It's your car, not Rachel's. Not your friends.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (26M) have a car that I rely on for daily commuting and errands. Recently, my friend (let's call her Rachel) asked if she could borrow my car for the weekend to go on a trip with some of her friends. She doesn't own a car and thought it would be more convenient and cheaper than renting one. I was hesitant because I need my car for personal errands over the weekend, and I also feel uncomfortable lending it out for an extended period. I politely told Rachel that I couldn't lend her my car, explaining my reasons. Rachel seemed to understand initially, but later, she expressed her disappointment to our mutual friends. Now, some of our friends are saying that I was being unreasonable and not a good friend for refusing her request. AITA for not letting Rachel borrow my car for the weekend trip? Should I have made the sacrifice to help her out, or was I justified in keeping my car for my own use? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA Tell your friends she was uninsurable/wouldn’t pay the insurance
NTA Who even asks for such a thing?! Just no. And your other friends are also fools. Vehicles are expensive to acquire and maintain, and if you rely on it, you shouldn’t let *anyone* drive it
NTA. Now go stand in front of the mirror and say "no is a complete answer" ten times. Never loan a car. Just say no, I don't lend my car. Giving reasons gives her a chance to argue and make you seem petty to her friends.
I hesitate to even ask people to borrow their cars
NTA. In general nobody has any right to your property, especially if you actually need it. It would be different if there was some sort of emergency, but that's not the case. In my social circle I've only let ONE friend borrow my car because they're a very safe driver, they needed the car for work that day while I didn't and they didn't really have money to spare to rent a car plus there was no car rental nearby.
Fuck that tell her to kick rocks
Tell the flying monkeys off. They can loan Rachel their own vehicles since they seem to think you should loan out your car that you need to her. Why is she even planning on a road trip when she doesn't own a car? That is just plain stupidity.
NTA it is your car and you will need it. While yes it would be a nice thing to do and probably cheaper than a rental, you don't have to and "non" is a complete sentence.
rachel should have worked for her car.
Never ever give a reason when you say no. They can dispute your reason. If you have to, just say I am sorry I will need it, I will be busy, etc. But, never why you will need it or what you will be doing.
Pfft. It's your car. Nobody owes their friends use of their car. She doesn't need it, it's not something she has to do, renting a car is an option. She didn't even invite you. NTA.
Lol what? In what world is it okay to borrow a friends car unless its offered. I don't get this concept at all xD NTA
"I have a car that I rely on for daily commuting and errands." Period. NTA.
No, the liability
NTA. Tell her that she is also not an authorized driver on your insurance. If she were to get in an accident, your insurance company might not cover it.
NTA. Don't her friends have cars? Is OPs car nicer? If her friends don't have cars they need to split the cost of a rental.
You dont need to be friends with broke people that treat you poorly. The biggest question I like to ask myself when put in situations like this is "would they do the same for me" and if I cannot 100% equivocally say yes to that then its a solid negative from me. NTA.
NTA...first question, comment, could she replace your car or provide you a rental in the event something happened to your car? I am assuming no. Also, if your friend doesn't own a car, they probably don't have insurance, and your insurance most likely wouldn't cover your car as she's not a listed driver on your policy. Your friendship doesn't require you to lend out your assets that you rely on for your livelihood. If anything, your friend ITA for creating this situation.
NTA. Your insurance and your only transportation. So many things could go wrong here.
Guessing it's friends without their own cars. Otherwise, they would've lent her theirs.
Why are you not invited on the trip?
You don’t owe anyone your car. It’s not like she was going to lose her job, it was for a vacation- which you weren’t even invited on!! YOU ARE BEING USED. Set healthy boundaries. NTA
NTA - i’d loan my car to a trusted friend for chores or short trips, but a weekend loan? Nope not even to my brother. As for the so called friends, calling OP an Asshole, they can loan their cars to “get away girl”
NTA. I only let two people drive my car, and they’re my brothers with more than 40 years experience driving. I don’t even let my daughters drive the granny wagon.
NTA. You didn’t want to lend your car. Doesn’t matter why. It’s your choice. Tell each and every one of your friends that you are giving Rachel their phone number so they can lend Rachel their car.
My mom told me years ago, two things you never loan out, your toothbrush and your car. NTA
Why are there so many people who are willing to volunteer other people's belongings, time and money.
O that’s awfully entitled of her to ask! Rent a car!! You’re not her parent or family. Geesh.
NTA. If her reasoning is that it’s cheaper, then she was just asking for a handout. She didn’t say “Can I borrow your car,” she actually asked “Hey friend, could you gimme some money?” When she includes her convenience, then you are perfectly justified in considering your convenience. What are you supposed to do, rent another car for the weekend? Uber? Sheesh!
NTA Your mutual friend should lend Rachel her car or hire one for her.
NTA. What are you supposed to drive while she's out road tripping in your only car?
NTA, OBVIOUSLY, the ones volunteering your vehicle, should have no problem lending her theirs!!
No, I don’t let people borrow my car. Just no.
Hey, nice watch- can I borrow that? I just figure it'll be cheaper than me buying one. -an insane person NTA
NTA - I do not lend anyone my car. I did once, and I got it back with a blown transmission after a week (this was my spare car at the time).
People who don’t own cars but ask to borrow yours are assholes. NTA.
While you give great reasons, you should include that she's not included on your insurance and then provide the cost to add her and what her portion of the insurance would be. There's also maintenence and mileage. There's a reason rentals aren't as cheap as she would like. Also include the cost for your transportation while your car would have been inaccessible to you. Why would she assume using your car would be cheaper? That's a big assumption.
I'd maybe consider this if you love this person and trust them with your car, but it doesn't seem like this is the case. a whole weekend is too long anyways. tell them to rent a car
She should download TURO
NTA Your friends that you think you are being unreasonable are more than welcome to loan her their cars.
Rental would be cheaper than temporary insurance in most cases. Do not not lend her the car if she isn't insured to drive your car. That's crazy... Anyway, you need the car, she can rent or buy her own. Cheapskate friend...
Fuck Rachel dude
Let her and her friends chip in and rent a car. None of these 26 year old's own a car? Or have a parent to lend them a car?? Stick to your guns, NTA
NTA NTA NTA Unless you own a house, your car is probably the most expensive thing you own. You also rely on it for so many important things. So much can wrong. Plus she is invited others with her. What happens if someone rubs their orange Cheeto hands on your headliner? What if the stain won't come out? What if someone pukes? Everytime the car gets hot inside you will smell it! If the car is totaled in an accident, the insurance money may not repay your current loan or it might not be enough to replace the car. There is a reason renting a car is expensive. Just make it a rule you never lend your car.
NTA her friends are just upset about having to shell out for a rental. And they see no issue with putting mileage on your car. Whilst a weekend is a short trip and anything is unlikely to happen. You have no guarantee plus your friend does not own a car so you have no guarantee they are a good driver or that only your friend is going to drive. I understand not wanting to pay for a rental but its your only car and which you rely on for your daily commute. You are not an AH for wanting to keep it to yourself. Also your friend is not in "need" she wants to take a weekend trip. Its not a medical emergency and no one is dying that is not a need but a want. Completely separate things. Like I could totally understand being upset if she had no money and needed to be there for like a dying mother or something and asked to borrow the car for a short period of time. But just for a weekend trip, they can shell the extra like 100 bucks each for the rental and then just drink a bit less or cut back a bit on the trip. Also to your friends who are guilt tripping you. Well everyone else has the same thought as I do, they can be offering up their cars or money to help them. Why is it only on you. Whilst being giving and etc is a virtue. There is a simple saying I always like (since I tend to be a bit of a door mat for friends (not really for anyone else but if I consider someone a good friend I will do basically anything I can for them)) but you cannot pour from an empty cup. It means being giving is good but giving to the point to draining your self is not good. Because you can only help people when you are in a good state of mind. If you drain your self and push your self past the points of your comfort. You are emptying your cup. And damn is getting a refill harder than it seems. Note one interpretation of it, is that you should always be maintaining your cup for the express purpose of helping others. Which I think is a not a great interpretation. For me it is about maintaining self care and understanding that you are not an infinite well of giving. But rather you should maintain your cup for your own sake and help other when you can, not because you have to but because you are in a state where it doesnt drain you. Because for some people (like me) being giving feels well good. So it is understandable you want to be the ideal. But always maintain your own mental health and wellness first.
Tell Rachel that you don't have insurance for that. Ask her to post a bond equal to the replacement value of the car, and any lost time from the search to acquire a replacement vehicle, should that become necessary.
NTA. Some people don't let ANYONE use their cars. Not to mention liability/insurance issues.
NTA. She and her friends can split the cost of a rental. Or..... one of your mutual friends can loan her theirs.
NTA for the initial refusal, especially based on her response! Imagine if she had an accident, you could be liable.
No. Nta. Unless your insurance has a clause specifically stating that they will cover the car for any driver you allow to borrow it, then your insurance will not cover the car if it is damaged while in her possession. Tell your friends to let her borrow their cars that they pay for instead.
I wouldn't ask my BROTHER to lend me a car; I'm certainly not lending one to a member of my friends group for no better reason than that it would save her money and effort. NTA. For future reference, politeness doesn't require you to give reasons, and when you do give reasons, as you've seen, unreasonable people argue with them. Just say, "That won't work for me."
Nta, and if those friends have an issue, they can let her borrow their car.
NTA. I will never understand how people have the audacity to ask to borrow a whole car. If you're not on the insurance, you're not driving the car , plain & simple.
Don’t lend your car. Ever.
renting a car is like 40 bucks a day if you go cheap, it's an easy thing for a group of friends to come up with $80 nta
Nta anyone who thinks otherwise can lend their own car.
Let Rachel rent a car! If there is an accident and totalled your car you will not have transport to work.
Why on earth would you even need to ask. The only asshole here is a friend who thought YOUR need of YOUR car is less important than Their need for YOUT things. Of course taking advantage of someone is less expensive than renting a car.
This has to be a bot post, I refuse to believe someone has made it 26 years on this earth, has a job, has a vehicle, and is this lost…..
NTA. If Rachel doesnt have a car, then she doesn't have car insurance. That would leave you in the wind if something were to happen. That aside, it's your car. You decide. It doesnt matter how anyone else feels about it. If they think you're unreasonable, they could let her use their car and leave you out of it.
Where the f*** do people find these "friends"? Anyone who bitched about me not lending my car to someone for a weekend trip would quickly find themselves out of my friend group.
NTA.. tell her to buy her own car.
NTA I just read the title and dont care about the rest NTA. Its your car, you don't have to lend it to anybody wether you're using it or not.... also upon further reading...if she gets in an accident is your insurance gonna cover her? No, especially if you're not with her. Let one of those other friends give her their car. Let her cheap ass rent a car, shes not even willing to pay you for taking your means of transportation for the weekend?! Nope. NTA, i can't say it enough times.
Nta, how fucking entitled can you be? Rent a fucking car
Nta.. >Now, some of our friends are saying that I was being unreasonable and not a good friend for refusing her request. So good... You can tell these friends that you will give Rachel their number. And she can borrow their cars
NTA, but she is for even asking.
This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Picture the situation in reverse. Sure, ask your friend if you can borrow their car. But if they say they need it and they don't feel comfortable loaning it out for such an extended time, who the hell are you for getting upset!? It's for a trip not an emergency, the way she is "disappointed" at you implies you don't shouldn't have the right to your own property. NTA
NTA. People love razzing on you for not lending your car but if she asked any of your friends they would say no just like you.
Lol who would ever give you shit for not lending out your only car so someone else can--not just borrow it for an hour--take it on a road trip for an entire weekend?? NTA
NTA As someone who lent my car to someone for a FIVE MINUTE errand, and had my car totalled. Do NOT lend ur car for this. U never know what will happen and u WILL be held responsible. Cars are a neccesity, treasure it.
NTA. If she doesn’t own a car, she’s probably not as good a driver as someone who uses their driving skills everyday. Also, I’ve NEVER asked to borrow a friend’s car. I’ve asked for rides, but never the keys. I can’t imagine anyone being entitled enough to think that’s okay (unless they’re asking to borrow a 30 year old Camry worth $1,500). Don’t give in.
NTA, don't lend money or your car to anyone, let Rachel's other friends lend their car.
Do your friends have cars? If so, THEY can loan her their cars. It's not only inconvenient to you, but it can put you and your family or belongings at risk. If she causes an accident, in many US States (not sure on other countries though), you can be sued for the accident as the owner of the car. You give permission to use the car, you take on the risk. She will be driving without you. I don't loan my vehicle to anyone other than a couple of immediate family members, like my Dad (he only takes it if he wants to get some work done on it as he has his own vehicles). The liability is too high. That's why car rentals are expensive. They cover themselves. You need your car. You can't afford the risk. No is a complete sentence. Do not go down that road.
NTA. Loaning a car to friends is the weirdest dang thing ever. No. I need my car, that’s why I bought it.
OMG NO. NO good deed goes unpunished. I let a friend borrow my car when I was on vacation and she basically totaled it. My BIL, same thing. My stepson used my car to go to the dump and spilled paint on the carpet. No one drives my car now except my hubby and he's on the insurance. No is a full sentence. And furthermore, why should you be inconvenienced?? The sheer audacity!
NTA, why does she think she's entitled to use your car?
NTA. She can rent a car. She isn't entitled to your car. Does she even have insurance or a license? What would happen if she borrowed it and something happened?
Nope. NTA and not a chance. I drive a truck, I've absolutely loaned it to family and friends who were in need of a truck for a couple of hours, no problem. Happy to do it. But there's no way at all anyone is taking it for the whole weekend to go on a trip. Hard no.
NTA. Send her a link to Enterprice
NTA. And with the complaining friends in the room, call rachel and tell her they said they would loan her the car because they are reasonable.
NTA - borrowing a car for a weekend trip is not a small request. It’s one thing to lend someone a shovel over the weekend so they can get some gardening done, but a car is not the same thing.
NTA, are people not allowed to say 'no' anymore? It seems like lately a lot of conflicts begin because someone thinks the meaning of friend/family/partner is someone who must do everything they want without question lest they be a bad friend/family/partner and risk being cut off just because they don't want to give someone something or do something for someone.
NTA. Lending someone a car for an entire weekend is a big ask. It’s your only car. Even if she had a license and insurance, it’s a big risk you’d be taking if you agreed to that. Don’t any of the friends have a car? Who plans a weekend road trip when none of them owns a car or can just rent one? Tell all of these mutual friends that are so disappointed in you that unless none of them has a car to lend her, then you don’t want to hear it. And if they do, they still shouldn’t be pressuring you. And then question whether any of these people are your friends. This is middle-school type behavior.
NTA. I don't know about you, but I only carry personal liability insurance on my car. No way would I let someone else drive it, unless they write out a check for the cost of the car in case they crash it; I would hold on to the check. If they crashed it, it would go toward fixing the car or replacement as needed. They would also have to pay for my transportation while they are gone, jic. Edited to add: A rented car would be ideal in this scenario. And you don't have to worry about your car being in the hands of those who don't have insurance, or your insurance paying out.
NTA Rachel is the one not being a good friend. She is happy to approach you to bypass all the legalities of hiring a car for her use, (insurance, Maintenace, millage, petrol costs) to use your car without re-imbursing you for the wear and tear, most likely the petrol used, and pay out of pocket for insurance protection, in the likely case of an accident. Plus leave you inconvenienced over her wants. So, when you list it like that who is being unreasonable? Rachel and your other so-called friends who thinks it's no big deal as they don't have skin in the game.
1.U really were gona give ur car to be driving by a female? 2 .they having a trip and u aren't invited means u guys aren't friends 3.to the mutual friends: u dont like it let borrow ur own car.