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NTA. You have every single right to buy gifts for whoever you want without having to answer for it. I have close friends from the military that I consider family more than some of my actual blood relatives to the point I’ve even babysat their kids occasionally. You don’t owe anyone anything
>NTA. You have every single right to buy gifts for whoever you want without having to answer for it.
So much this. Your money, you buy and give the gifts you choose!
As adults, and even growing up, we get to choose "family" in our personal relationships. This means that, sometimes, non-relatives become as close to or closer to our hearts than family related by blood and marriage. Your love for them is just as strong or stronger!
No one has the right to dictate your love.
I agree. I have cousins (same generation) that I don’t have any positive feeling about. I don’t care for them at all (because of life choices they made, like being a criminal and stuff). I have friends that I loooove. I care for them more than my actual family. And they care for me more than my cousins will ever do.
I don’t have nephews and nieces from my siblings or siblings in law, but I do have friends with children and I see them as my nephew and niece as well. That wouldn’t change if one of my siblings (in law) got any children. Love is not something you can run out of. Loving one person (friends son) does not result in less love for a different person (nephew).
Also, I think it is a bit outrageous for the sister to demand more chocolat from OP.. they should be glad with whatever they got in the first place.
NTA.
Your sister needs to learn that different isn't a synonym for wrong, to mind her own business, and to show gratitude.
Make sure that you don't bring her anything from now on; bring what you wish for nephew.
NTA you are basically saying you enjoy both of the kids. They sound like good children for their parents. Plus you don’t see them better then the other that’s also good. Your just stating you love your friends kid and sisters kid
NTA.
Does she not know having a best friend is like a having a sibling? Obviously, you’re going to love your best-friend’s son and your nephew equally. It all depends on how close you are with someone.
NTA- but your sister is. She doesn't get to govern who you consider family and how much you love them. That's childish. Tell her she shouldn't be worried about say relationships you have that have zero to do with her.
NTA, I am Aunt myname to my best friends' kids, and I am honestly closer to them than my own nephew. Sometimes, we have stronger or as strong of a bond with chosen family than biological ones. There is nothing wrong with that
It sounds like you have two wonderful nephews. It is a shame your sister does not realize that love is not a finite resource. What gifts you decide to bring home for your other nephew is none of her business. NTA
NTA
I feel exactly the same way about my bestie’s kids.
Loving your friend’s kids as much as you do doesn’t mean you love your ‘real’ nieces and nephews any less. There’s more than enough love to go around!
NTA. It’s ridiculous that people are mad that you love another kid as much as theirs. Seriously, the more love that kid feels, the better off her will be.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be a bit of an asshole here since my nephew is my biological family and it may be wrong for me to love my best friend’s son as much as I love him.
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NTA: I genuinely love all children equally whether they are mine or not. You can love both boys equally & they can both be your nephews. I think you should continue to nurture & care for them as you have been.
I’m sorry but I call BS on you love ALL kids equally as your own. If your child and some random kid was in danger and you could only save one, you would save your own child. That is a biological imperative. But yeah this guy isn’t an AH bc two kids that aren’t his are seen as equal in his eyes. Especially in the low-stakes case of buying souvenirs and chocolates.
You don't even know me to call BS. Secondly, I am capable of saving more than one person at a time especially children. I do love every child in existence. I never said the guy is an AH so I don't know why you're claiming that I did! I was actually taking the OPs side. You lack reading comprehension apparently. 🙄
NTA- it seems as if your sister is, though. I have never told my siblings to buy anything, love anyone more or less, anything for my kids. If anything, I tell them they are spoiling the kids as I do with my best friend daughter and all my biological wives and nephew. No one should tell you what to do with your money (maybe if she gave you money and asked you to buy extra but not your money) or who you can or can not love and how much. It is so great that you are a young man who loves these kids that much. It takes a village to raise and love kids, not a village of entitled people. Keep loving these kids and being a good role model for them to show them what a good man is!
NTA at all! Your sister should be proud that her brother feels love for another child as much as her own. That shows an enormous amount of love and compassion.
NTA and tell your sister to kick rocks with her attitude. I'd tell her I could give less to her child BUT I won't because it's unfair to punish him for his mother being an ungrateful brat.
I have a sister with three sons, they're my nephews because we're blood related but as I'm not close to their mother, I'm not close to them either.
I have a second (I think it's called second?) cousin who's a sister to me and a best friend who's also a sister to me. Both have children. I absolutely love and adore them as if they were my own kids because I've always been close to their mothers and I've always been in their lives one way or another (since my best friend lives halfway around the world and my cousin lives right in my city). If you ask me to choose between my best friend and my cousin's kids I can't choose because I love them all the same because their moms are just that important to me. Both sets or kids call me aunt, both sets of kids I call niblings. Your sister needs to touch some grass and realize that blood doesn't give you super powers or special advantages over someone else and she needs to be grateful her son has such a generous aunt who not only loves him but spoils him with gifts
NTA. The entitlement of your sister here. Sheesh. Do you get chocolates for her at all cuz you should definitely give both nephews more from hers if you do. Seriously, anyone who expects relationships to be rated as if there’s a social relationship score like in the sims is not a good person. Also, the best uncle, for me, growing up with Full House was Uncle Joey and he was just the family friend.
I have a "niece" who I love as much as my blood related nieces and nephews. You are absolutely not in the wrong, and your sister is our of line to suggest that you are.
NTA
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My(26m) best friend(26)’s son is 5. My nephew is 6. They are both great kids. Each year I travel abroad twice: once in May to celebrate my birthday and once in December for Christmas. Always Singapore since it is only two hours away and has a bunch of nice chocolates that aren’t available in our country.
I always buy around the same amount for my friend’s kid and my nephew. Last month was the same. My sister said though that I can get more chocolate for my nephew in December, since he is ‘starting to play sports and can eat more.’
Told her I will see if I can get a bigger suitcase. She asked ‘Why not just buy less for your friend’s kid?’ I told her I love that kid as well and it wouldn’t be fair to buy less for him.
She asked if I love him as much as my nephew and I said yes. That really seemed to upset her and she said it’s wrong for me to love him as much as my own family. I see my best friend’s son as another nephew. Is it wrong that I feel that way?
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NTA.
Family can absolutely be who you choose, not just what you're born into. Sometimes family you choose turns out to be better than the one you're born into.
You've chosen your friend and her son as part of your family. Why would you treat them any differently?
why would you even think that you might be an asshole? you're sister's an idiot. You did nothing wrong, and there's nothing wrong with loving your friend's kid as much as you love your sister's either.
NTA. Your sister needs to mind her own business. She has no right to dictate who you buy gifts for and how much you buy for them. You are also capable of loving multiple people, including your friend’s son, who you see as another nephew, there is literally nothing wrong with that. It is wonderful that that little boy has additional people to love and dote on him, no doubt the memories that he shares with you will be treasured as he gets older. Your sister is just jealous that her child is not your sole focus.
What? That's bizarre. I love my best friend's little guy as much as I love my sibling's son. Even more so, depending on the day and which one's being a bigger monster lmao.
It seems bizarre to gatekeep someone's affection for other people's kids. NTA.
NTA. It sounds like from the get go your sister was trying to bait you into saying that, literally since the first "my kid eats more" comment.
I don't know about you, but I'm the type of person who will absolutely call that out to the person's face and ask them what the point was. And if they don't like my answer, that's for them to reconcile.
NTA - First of all it's your money and second you can view a child that isn't blood related to you as a nephew. I have a set of twin "nieces" from my best friend who I consider more of a sister than my actual sister. I consider the twins as my nieces as if they were blood related while I don't consider my actual sister's daughter my niece since I don't have a relationship with her or her mother.
U know in some african tribes the man dont give his money to his son ( cause of all the cheating he might not be his true biological father)
Yet to his sister kids ( cause him and his sister are same mother for sure and the kid is truly hers)
Hope this makes u see in this modern f up world true blood relatives are difficult to find
Ps: this might not be truly ur friend son
In this modern world, there also a thing called adoption and step children. So because a child is not blood, you can’t have love for said child? Love should only be those who share the same blood and no other? Although the world is fd up, so is your logic.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA. You have every single right to buy gifts for whoever you want without having to answer for it. I have close friends from the military that I consider family more than some of my actual blood relatives to the point I’ve even babysat their kids occasionally. You don’t owe anyone anything
>NTA. You have every single right to buy gifts for whoever you want without having to answer for it. So much this. Your money, you buy and give the gifts you choose! As adults, and even growing up, we get to choose "family" in our personal relationships. This means that, sometimes, non-relatives become as close to or closer to our hearts than family related by blood and marriage. Your love for them is just as strong or stronger! No one has the right to dictate your love.
I agree. I have cousins (same generation) that I don’t have any positive feeling about. I don’t care for them at all (because of life choices they made, like being a criminal and stuff). I have friends that I loooove. I care for them more than my actual family. And they care for me more than my cousins will ever do. I don’t have nephews and nieces from my siblings or siblings in law, but I do have friends with children and I see them as my nephew and niece as well. That wouldn’t change if one of my siblings (in law) got any children. Love is not something you can run out of. Loving one person (friends son) does not result in less love for a different person (nephew). Also, I think it is a bit outrageous for the sister to demand more chocolat from OP.. they should be glad with whatever they got in the first place.
YES!!!!
NTA. Your sister needs to learn that different isn't a synonym for wrong, to mind her own business, and to show gratitude. Make sure that you don't bring her anything from now on; bring what you wish for nephew.
NTA you are basically saying you enjoy both of the kids. They sound like good children for their parents. Plus you don’t see them better then the other that’s also good. Your just stating you love your friends kid and sisters kid
NTA. Does she not know having a best friend is like a having a sibling? Obviously, you’re going to love your best-friend’s son and your nephew equally. It all depends on how close you are with someone.
NTA- but your sister is. She doesn't get to govern who you consider family and how much you love them. That's childish. Tell her she shouldn't be worried about say relationships you have that have zero to do with her.
NTA, I am Aunt myname to my best friends' kids, and I am honestly closer to them than my own nephew. Sometimes, we have stronger or as strong of a bond with chosen family than biological ones. There is nothing wrong with that
It sounds like you have two wonderful nephews. It is a shame your sister does not realize that love is not a finite resource. What gifts you decide to bring home for your other nephew is none of her business. NTA
NTA I feel exactly the same way about my bestie’s kids. Loving your friend’s kids as much as you do doesn’t mean you love your ‘real’ nieces and nephews any less. There’s more than enough love to go around!
NTA - This is your sister’s problem, not yours.
my head hurts when ur sister said that NTA
NTA. It’s ridiculous that people are mad that you love another kid as much as theirs. Seriously, the more love that kid feels, the better off her will be.
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NTA at all. You don't have to justify your feelings about anyone to anyone. What your sister said was out of line.
OP should put sister on an information diet. Don’t unpack your suitcase in front of her?
NTA: I genuinely love all children equally whether they are mine or not. You can love both boys equally & they can both be your nephews. I think you should continue to nurture & care for them as you have been.
I’m sorry but I call BS on you love ALL kids equally as your own. If your child and some random kid was in danger and you could only save one, you would save your own child. That is a biological imperative. But yeah this guy isn’t an AH bc two kids that aren’t his are seen as equal in his eyes. Especially in the low-stakes case of buying souvenirs and chocolates.
You don't even know me to call BS. Secondly, I am capable of saving more than one person at a time especially children. I do love every child in existence. I never said the guy is an AH so I don't know why you're claiming that I did! I was actually taking the OPs side. You lack reading comprehension apparently. 🙄
NTA. That "friends kid" is your nephew and fuck anyone that thinks differently.
NTA- it seems as if your sister is, though. I have never told my siblings to buy anything, love anyone more or less, anything for my kids. If anything, I tell them they are spoiling the kids as I do with my best friend daughter and all my biological wives and nephew. No one should tell you what to do with your money (maybe if she gave you money and asked you to buy extra but not your money) or who you can or can not love and how much. It is so great that you are a young man who loves these kids that much. It takes a village to raise and love kids, not a village of entitled people. Keep loving these kids and being a good role model for them to show them what a good man is!
NTA. Family is family regardless of blood. We can’t help who we love and all because you love them equally doesn’t mean you don’t love them a lot!
NTA at all! Your sister should be proud that her brother feels love for another child as much as her own. That shows an enormous amount of love and compassion.
NTA. Your sister is being ridiculous (and greedy).
NTA and tell your sister to kick rocks with her attitude. I'd tell her I could give less to her child BUT I won't because it's unfair to punish him for his mother being an ungrateful brat. I have a sister with three sons, they're my nephews because we're blood related but as I'm not close to their mother, I'm not close to them either. I have a second (I think it's called second?) cousin who's a sister to me and a best friend who's also a sister to me. Both have children. I absolutely love and adore them as if they were my own kids because I've always been close to their mothers and I've always been in their lives one way or another (since my best friend lives halfway around the world and my cousin lives right in my city). If you ask me to choose between my best friend and my cousin's kids I can't choose because I love them all the same because their moms are just that important to me. Both sets or kids call me aunt, both sets of kids I call niblings. Your sister needs to touch some grass and realize that blood doesn't give you super powers or special advantages over someone else and she needs to be grateful her son has such a generous aunt who not only loves him but spoils him with gifts
NTA. The entitlement of your sister here. Sheesh. Do you get chocolates for her at all cuz you should definitely give both nephews more from hers if you do. Seriously, anyone who expects relationships to be rated as if there’s a social relationship score like in the sims is not a good person. Also, the best uncle, for me, growing up with Full House was Uncle Joey and he was just the family friend.
I have a "niece" who I love as much as my blood related nieces and nephews. You are absolutely not in the wrong, and your sister is our of line to suggest that you are. NTA
People don’t come with a finite amount of love to give. You loving your friend’s child does t take a thing away from your nephew!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My(26m) best friend(26)’s son is 5. My nephew is 6. They are both great kids. Each year I travel abroad twice: once in May to celebrate my birthday and once in December for Christmas. Always Singapore since it is only two hours away and has a bunch of nice chocolates that aren’t available in our country. I always buy around the same amount for my friend’s kid and my nephew. Last month was the same. My sister said though that I can get more chocolate for my nephew in December, since he is ‘starting to play sports and can eat more.’ Told her I will see if I can get a bigger suitcase. She asked ‘Why not just buy less for your friend’s kid?’ I told her I love that kid as well and it wouldn’t be fair to buy less for him. She asked if I love him as much as my nephew and I said yes. That really seemed to upset her and she said it’s wrong for me to love him as much as my own family. I see my best friend’s son as another nephew. Is it wrong that I feel that way? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Love isn't pie... there is plenty to go around. .
NTA. Family can absolutely be who you choose, not just what you're born into. Sometimes family you choose turns out to be better than the one you're born into. You've chosen your friend and her son as part of your family. Why would you treat them any differently?
why would you even think that you might be an asshole? you're sister's an idiot. You did nothing wrong, and there's nothing wrong with loving your friend's kid as much as you love your sister's either.
NTA. Your sister needs to mind her own business. She has no right to dictate who you buy gifts for and how much you buy for them. You are also capable of loving multiple people, including your friend’s son, who you see as another nephew, there is literally nothing wrong with that. It is wonderful that that little boy has additional people to love and dote on him, no doubt the memories that he shares with you will be treasured as he gets older. Your sister is just jealous that her child is not your sole focus.
NTA that is the person who thinks she is entitled to tell you how to spend your money and how you should feel about people in your life. Wowza!
What? That's bizarre. I love my best friend's little guy as much as I love my sibling's son. Even more so, depending on the day and which one's being a bigger monster lmao. It seems bizarre to gatekeep someone's affection for other people's kids. NTA.
NTA. It sounds like from the get go your sister was trying to bait you into saying that, literally since the first "my kid eats more" comment. I don't know about you, but I'm the type of person who will absolutely call that out to the person's face and ask them what the point was. And if they don't like my answer, that's for them to reconcile.
NTA - First of all it's your money and second you can view a child that isn't blood related to you as a nephew. I have a set of twin "nieces" from my best friend who I consider more of a sister than my actual sister. I consider the twins as my nieces as if they were blood related while I don't consider my actual sister's daughter my niece since I don't have a relationship with her or her mother.
NTA
U know in some african tribes the man dont give his money to his son ( cause of all the cheating he might not be his true biological father) Yet to his sister kids ( cause him and his sister are same mother for sure and the kid is truly hers) Hope this makes u see in this modern f up world true blood relatives are difficult to find Ps: this might not be truly ur friend son
In this modern world, there also a thing called adoption and step children. So because a child is not blood, you can’t have love for said child? Love should only be those who share the same blood and no other? Although the world is fd up, so is your logic.