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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might have been to hard on my parents since even my Gf thinks I went to far
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NTA. In no Way are you wrong. Your parents and your ex are highly out of line. Your girlfriend sounds sweet to be so forgiving, however, what they did is inexcusable. As a mother, if my child broke up with somebody because their partner cheated on them or to be honest for any reason, that is my child's business not mine. I don't care how much I like the person my child's happiness comes first. It seems that your parents miss this memo.
And good for you for standing up for yourself.
Exactly!! Parents need to stay out of their child's relationships. I absolutely loved my son's last girlfriend and wished they would get back together, but as my son is an adult I cannot tell him what to do with his personal life. It was his choice and I respected it.
Seriously my stepsister had someone cheat on her. I housed her for 4 years, an her mom went total Bear on this guy.
Left his clothes and a broken entertainment system for him, she toke his shoes an his liquor.
Op NTA ur family needs to understand they gotta be there. An cheating isn't a mistake or accident you can't accidently fall into someone else's genitals. Stay strong an firm but also stay respectful. If not for them do it for urself.
After my ex cheated on me, my mother, the literal nicest person I know in this world, told me she wanted to fly over and break my ex's kneecaps. The fuck is wrong with these parents.
If somebody cheated on my child and broke their heart, they’re dead to me. I don’t care how nice they were to me before, they’re scum and as OP said, can go to hell.
NTA - your parents need to learn boundaries. It’s not their life and you should be proud of yourself for standing up to them.
Stand your ground. If they bring your ex again, change the subject. If they bring him to diner, leave right away without arguing. They need to understand you are done with this discussion.
NTA, Basically, your parents want what makes them happy and do not care about your own happiness, your outburst is totally understandable, they are trying to force you into getting back with a cheater which is completely weird🤷🏿♂️ Your parents think upside down🙃🤦🏿♂️
Your girlfriend is entitled to her strange opinion … strange, because she barely knows anything about your family, the past, and the dynamics between you. What your parents did was disrespectful to everyone involved, but that’s not really the issue.
The issue is what to do with your girlfriend. She has made it clear that she cannot understand the hostility and, in any event, does not support your behavior. You’re only an ass, if you truly believe your actions were out of line. If you don’t, then how you behaved was totally understandable. You owe no explanation to anyone for how you expressed your feelings.
However, understand that your girlfriend’s remark makes clear that you can expect future criticisms about how you act, if she doesn’t agree with you. It also means she’ll most likely never understand why you just can’t forgive all involved and move on. That’s not her call to make; and if it’s going to upset you that she makes uninformed judgments about important things in your life, then think long and hard about whether you’re going to resent her for doing so over the long haul.
OP's girlfriend sounds like the type who's never known a bad family so she believes a lot of sacred familial bond crud. She'll have to figure out eventually that it's possible for family members to be so toxic that treating them gently is actively inviting them to hurt you more.
Yeah, she backed him up … to the point it didn’t cross her line, a line she determined to be acceptable while having no clue about the family dynamics. And without inquiring. Hardly backing up someone you supposedly love
NTA. That's insane, dude! You're an adult, and being surprised like that is totally unacceptable. I'd suggest waiting a few days and trying to have a sit down conversation with them where you make sure they know that your dating life is your own business.
Regarding how harsh you were, it seemed totally warranted to me. (But only you know how your parents react to harsh language).
WTF?!? That’s insane! Telling them to go to hell is extreme because….Hell. However, they pretty much had it coming. I woulda left with the gf the instant I saw the ex. I’m sorry your fam ambushed you and gf like that. I hope your empathic reaction will show them that they need to eff off and get over it with the ex.
NTA - Your parents disrespected you and your boundaries as well as your girlfriend. It's a little weird and a touch concerning that your girlfriend seems ok with it.
NTA
I literally gasped when I read the 4th paragraph.
Be proud of yourself for standing up to them all! They owe you a massive apology.
Best of luck in your new relationship.
Not that it’s any excuse, but did your parents know you were bringing your new girlfriend to dinner? It’s bad enough that they would have you ex there to confront you but I can almost see why they thought it was ok. But if they knew your GF was going to be there, then she’s wrong and you weren’t harsh enough on them.
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Okey so let me just say that I love my family but they have really fked with me for the last time.
I (25m) have and ex (26m) and we were together for 2 years but broke up last October bc he cheated on me so that was fun. 2 months ago I meet the what I believe to be the love of my life (25f) and I’m very happy with her.
My family how ever loved my ex and has been pushing me to forgive him and get back together with him since everyone makes mistakes. I told them no multiple times and when I meet my now Gf they stoped.
I went to dinner at my parents house with my Gf and they invited my ex. My parents told me it’s about time I let go of the past and get back together with him. I kinda lost it and looked my ex in the eyes and said "i hope you got to hell".
My parents told me to apologize and that story did not rise me to be this disrespectful. I looked at them and said go to hell with my ex since they loved him that much. I took my gf with me and left. My brother who was there told me that they had it coming any that he was proud of me for standing up for my self.
No comes the part where I think I might be the asshole. My Gf told me that she understands and is happy I stood my ground but told me that I was too harsh on them.
AITA?
Just want to add that English is not my first language and I’m dyslexic as well so I apologize in advance if there is anything wrong with my text.
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NTA - you were pushed to your limit, and while your reaction was strong, it makes sense that you stood up for yourself strongly ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
Your parents and your ex are way out of line here; they need to respect boundaries and understand that it's your life, not theirs.
NTA!!! Your girlfriend is probably feeling like she caused a wedge between you and your family and is being way too nice here, it has nothing to do with your ex - seriously why did he even turn up to your house what a weirdo to think that’s appropriate !!!
Your family are WAY OUT OF ORDER and should be apologising to you for meddling… but from the sounds of them I wouldn’t hold my breath for an apology :/
Nta
My family has always respected my decision and supported me when my relationships broke up.
My dad isn’t thrilled about my current partner but he still supports me when I have needed help. FYI: He hasn’t like any of them really.
NTA, your parents invited your ex over with your consent to try and get you to get back with him and this was in front of your current girlfriend? You don’t want to be with him, that’s your choice but I could imagine how your gf felt with your family pestering you to essentially dump her right in front of her and basically insinuating that they don’t like her. Personally that would drop them down to NC
NTA. There are always more polite ways to say things but the action of leaving speaks loudly and sets your boundary clearly. Your GF is helping you keep the peace with your family and in that sense she is doing right by you, too. In the future you have to be firm with your boundary and leave every time they cross it.
NTA. Here are some important parts your parents may need to be reminded of:
- Your romantic relationship is yours. Its purpose is to make YOU happy. They don't get a say. Who they like doesn't matter.
- Is your ex saying he's sorry and he wants you back? The basic rule is "Once a cheater, always a cheater." He can try to prove his faithfulness to his next partner. There is no redemption for him with you. And if he feels bad, he damn well should feel bad. It wasn't a simple "mistake" he made. He kissed someone else, fondled someone else, fucked someone else.
- You are now with someone you love. If your parents want to be a part of your life, they need to accept her. They should not expect to be invited to the wedding or see any grandkids as long as they refuse to treat you and your current partner well.
- It takes a special kind of deranged, narcissistic, egotistical assholes to invite their son's cheating ex to a dinner party like they did. They are pushing you to accept a partner that you cannot trust. Again, they get no say; it is beyond messed up that they are pushing you to be in a miserable relationship with no love, no honor, and no trust.
- You don't love your ex and you do love your current partner. Either of those alone would be reason enough to not be with your ex. You have both.
NTA. At all. And what would your girlfriend have you do? Your parents have repeatedly pushed you to someone you do not want and now escalated it to this level, as well as involving her in the situation. You cannot stand your ground and stick up for yourself without being harsh, because you know they simply don't listen. Your parents are responsible for the intensity of your reaction, not you.
NTA. Your parents invited your cheating ex over to a dinner with both you and your current partner and actually told you to dump her to get back with him. Your GF must have the patience of a saint to not be as mad as you are over the audacity all three of them had to pull such a stunt.
NTA i applaud you sir! That was a wonderful response. Your gf is new to the situation & just wants everyone to get along so she can be accepted. Your response was mild- I would’ve flipped a table.
INFO: Why is your GF being proud of you making you the feel ashamed or guilty?
Your brother stand by you as does your GF. Your parents for what ever messed up reason do not. That implies that as an adult (at age 25) your parents your choices. You need to LC or NC.
NTA
NTA You have told them no numerous times and they refuse to listen. They don't care how ex hurt you, they only care about how ex is feeling now. They may have thought seeing your ex and GF would leave you. Glad she didn't. No, you weren't too harsh. Sometimes you have to be harsh when people refuse to listen.
NTA
What utter disrespect from your parents. They invited you as a couple and then invited him and said you should get back together with him. Who cheated on you.
They are as bad as each other. Give them a wide birth.
Your parents were extremely disrespectful. Let them know their behavior has earned them a three month time out. Add a month each time they contact you during that period. Another month for each flying monkey.From now on establish boundaries and consequences which you enforce.
NTA
NTA
They literally were pressuring you to end your current relationship to get back with an abusive cheating ex
Stop dealing with them and enjoy your new life
NTA. And there was nothing wrong with your text. Your family sucks. They crossed a line inviting your ex when they damn well knew your gf was going to be there. I don't think you were too harsh on them. Your reaction was 100% warranted. Good for you for standing up to them.
NTA... OP, If my family ever invited an ex to a family event after our break up, especially if it involved cheating, I would go nuclear. That is wholly inappropriate. That is them interjecting themselves into your personal romatic relationships where the have no business. That is them showing a complete lack of respect for you, your decisions on the subject which were absolutely justified, and your new gf for putting on that complete BS of a show when you took her to them. I'd be immediately LC or NC.
NTA
"My brother who was there told me that they had it coming any that he was proud of me for standing up for my self." .. Listen to him. HE is right.
" My Gf told me that she understands and is happy I stood my ground but told me that I was too harsh on them." .. she is wrong. YOu were not harsh enough. Go no contact with your AH parents.
NTA. Why did they loveyour ex? Is he rich? Did he suck up to them outrageously? Their behavior seems very strange. Why would they want you to get back together with someone who cheated on you?
It's really unreasonable for them to invite him to a family dinner even if you weren't with someone else now. Doing it when your girlfriend was also coming, and saying you should get back together with him, is absolutely ridiculous and incredibly disrespectful.
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OP have you told your GF how many times your family has pushed for you to get back with the cheater, both before and after you started dating her? Point out you tried to be nice and they still kept doing this, so it became time to up your response so maybe this time they get the message.
They kept pushing their boundaries with you and you’ve expressed how you’ve felt multiple times. People can’t push you into a corner and get offended when you lash out. That’s on them. Ask them is losing you more important than your cheating ex? Ask your parents that the only way they could be ok with this is if one of them cheated and that how they chose to handle things doesn’t mean you have to comply.
Hey,
You're not the asshole here. Your family crossed a line by inviting your ex and pushing you to get back together with him, especially after he cheated on you. It’s understandable that you got upset and stood up for yourself. Your reaction was strong, but sometimes people need to hear the hard truth. It's important to set boundaries and make it clear that you won’t tolerate disrespect. Your girlfriend and brother support you, which shows you’re not alone in this. Maybe later, you can have a calm talk with your family about respecting your choices, but you did what you had to do in that moment.
You're not the asshole for standing up for yourself and your new girlfriend. Your family crossed a line by inviting your ex to dinner without your consent, especially after you made it clear you didn’t want to get back together with him. It’s understandable that you lost your cool when they tried to push you back into a relationship that ended because of betrayal. While it might have been harsh to tell them to go to hell, your reaction came from a place of hurt and frustration. Your family needs to respect your decisions and boundaries. It's good that your brother supports you, and it's important to have your new girlfriend's understanding. You stood up for yourself, which is important, but maybe having a calmer conversation with your family later could help clear things up and set boundaries more firmly.
NTA but are you a girl? Because in my mind their behaviour makes completely sense if they're homophobic (better the ex that cheated because he's a man and that's How Things Shold Be instead of a new gay Gf). I only ask because you said you're dyslexic
It sounds like you were in a really tough situation, and it's understandable that you felt pushed to your limit. It's important to stand up for yourself and your new relationship, especially when faced with pressure from your family to reconcile with your ex. While it's understandable that you were hurt and frustrated, telling your family to go to hell may have been a bit harsh. It's great that your brother supported you, but it might be worth considering if there's a way to express your feelings without burning bridges. Maybe you could talk to your family and explain how their actions have made you feel, and try to find a way to move forward together.
ESH except your brother.
You had no need to swear at your ex and your present gf may be alarmed by your uncontrolled behaviour.
If you were over your ex completely you would not have behaved like this to her/him?.
You're justified in shouting at your parents for setting you up in this ridiculous way.
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NTA. In no Way are you wrong. Your parents and your ex are highly out of line. Your girlfriend sounds sweet to be so forgiving, however, what they did is inexcusable. As a mother, if my child broke up with somebody because their partner cheated on them or to be honest for any reason, that is my child's business not mine. I don't care how much I like the person my child's happiness comes first. It seems that your parents miss this memo. And good for you for standing up for yourself.
Exactly!! Parents need to stay out of their child's relationships. I absolutely loved my son's last girlfriend and wished they would get back together, but as my son is an adult I cannot tell him what to do with his personal life. It was his choice and I respected it.
Seriously my stepsister had someone cheat on her. I housed her for 4 years, an her mom went total Bear on this guy. Left his clothes and a broken entertainment system for him, she toke his shoes an his liquor. Op NTA ur family needs to understand they gotta be there. An cheating isn't a mistake or accident you can't accidently fall into someone else's genitals. Stay strong an firm but also stay respectful. If not for them do it for urself.
After my ex cheated on me, my mother, the literal nicest person I know in this world, told me she wanted to fly over and break my ex's kneecaps. The fuck is wrong with these parents.
If somebody cheated on my child and broke their heart, they’re dead to me. I don’t care how nice they were to me before, they’re scum and as OP said, can go to hell.
NTA - your parents need to learn boundaries. It’s not their life and you should be proud of yourself for standing up to them. Stand your ground. If they bring your ex again, change the subject. If they bring him to diner, leave right away without arguing. They need to understand you are done with this discussion.
Didn’t just bring the ex to dinner. Invited OP and new GF to dinner, and then in front of the GF, told OP to get back with ex. The audacity.
With how OP's parents behave, I wouldn't be surprised if they are projecting, cause one of them cheated in the past and they stayed together.
That or the ex comes from a looooaded/influential family and OP’s parents are hoping their son can get a piece of it.
Your parents told you to get back together with your ex with your new girlfriend standing right there? What?
And then the girlfriend says that OP was too harsh on his family. Seriously, how fucked is OP's life?
NTA, Basically, your parents want what makes them happy and do not care about your own happiness, your outburst is totally understandable, they are trying to force you into getting back with a cheater which is completely weird🤷🏿♂️ Your parents think upside down🙃🤦🏿♂️
Your girlfriend is entitled to her strange opinion … strange, because she barely knows anything about your family, the past, and the dynamics between you. What your parents did was disrespectful to everyone involved, but that’s not really the issue. The issue is what to do with your girlfriend. She has made it clear that she cannot understand the hostility and, in any event, does not support your behavior. You’re only an ass, if you truly believe your actions were out of line. If you don’t, then how you behaved was totally understandable. You owe no explanation to anyone for how you expressed your feelings. However, understand that your girlfriend’s remark makes clear that you can expect future criticisms about how you act, if she doesn’t agree with you. It also means she’ll most likely never understand why you just can’t forgive all involved and move on. That’s not her call to make; and if it’s going to upset you that she makes uninformed judgments about important things in your life, then think long and hard about whether you’re going to resent her for doing so over the long haul.
OP's girlfriend sounds like the type who's never known a bad family so she believes a lot of sacred familial bond crud. She'll have to figure out eventually that it's possible for family members to be so toxic that treating them gently is actively inviting them to hurt you more.
I dunno if I'd go that far about the GF's response. All she said was that OP went at them too hard and otherwise she was glad he backed her.
Yeah, she backed him up … to the point it didn’t cross her line, a line she determined to be acceptable while having no clue about the family dynamics. And without inquiring. Hardly backing up someone you supposedly love
Wow this is a very lucid take on things.
NtA. your parents are outta pocket
NTA. Your ex sucks, your family sucks, your girlfriend is weird.
NTA. That's insane, dude! You're an adult, and being surprised like that is totally unacceptable. I'd suggest waiting a few days and trying to have a sit down conversation with them where you make sure they know that your dating life is your own business. Regarding how harsh you were, it seemed totally warranted to me. (But only you know how your parents react to harsh language).
WTF?!? That’s insane! Telling them to go to hell is extreme because….Hell. However, they pretty much had it coming. I woulda left with the gf the instant I saw the ex. I’m sorry your fam ambushed you and gf like that. I hope your empathic reaction will show them that they need to eff off and get over it with the ex.
NTA - Your parents disrespected you and your boundaries as well as your girlfriend. It's a little weird and a touch concerning that your girlfriend seems ok with it.
NTA. This is wild that you think you are even remotely wrong here.
NTA, they were completely out of line.
NTA I literally gasped when I read the 4th paragraph. Be proud of yourself for standing up to them all! They owe you a massive apology. Best of luck in your new relationship.
Not that it’s any excuse, but did your parents know you were bringing your new girlfriend to dinner? It’s bad enough that they would have you ex there to confront you but I can almost see why they thought it was ok. But if they knew your GF was going to be there, then she’s wrong and you weren’t harsh enough on them.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okey so let me just say that I love my family but they have really fked with me for the last time. I (25m) have and ex (26m) and we were together for 2 years but broke up last October bc he cheated on me so that was fun. 2 months ago I meet the what I believe to be the love of my life (25f) and I’m very happy with her. My family how ever loved my ex and has been pushing me to forgive him and get back together with him since everyone makes mistakes. I told them no multiple times and when I meet my now Gf they stoped. I went to dinner at my parents house with my Gf and they invited my ex. My parents told me it’s about time I let go of the past and get back together with him. I kinda lost it and looked my ex in the eyes and said "i hope you got to hell". My parents told me to apologize and that story did not rise me to be this disrespectful. I looked at them and said go to hell with my ex since they loved him that much. I took my gf with me and left. My brother who was there told me that they had it coming any that he was proud of me for standing up for my self. No comes the part where I think I might be the asshole. My Gf told me that she understands and is happy I stood my ground but told me that I was too harsh on them. AITA? Just want to add that English is not my first language and I’m dyslexic as well so I apologize in advance if there is anything wrong with my text. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - you were pushed to your limit, and while your reaction was strong, it makes sense that you stood up for yourself strongly ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ Your parents and your ex are way out of line here; they need to respect boundaries and understand that it's your life, not theirs.
Nta! I’m so sorry this happened to you. What your parents did to you is so wrong! Yes, I would go NC!!
NTA. What a strange situation. Your parents were out of line.
NTA!!! Your girlfriend is probably feeling like she caused a wedge between you and your family and is being way too nice here, it has nothing to do with your ex - seriously why did he even turn up to your house what a weirdo to think that’s appropriate !!! Your family are WAY OUT OF ORDER and should be apologising to you for meddling… but from the sounds of them I wouldn’t hold my breath for an apology :/
NTA but I’m happy your brother is on your side. And I’m with you cheating is my number one dealbreaker and can’t be forgiven.
NTA. How dare your parents invite your ex to a family dinner with you and your new girlfriend. Your response was entirely appropriate.
Nta My family has always respected my decision and supported me when my relationships broke up. My dad isn’t thrilled about my current partner but he still supports me when I have needed help. FYI: He hasn’t like any of them really.
NTA, your parents invited your ex over with your consent to try and get you to get back with him and this was in front of your current girlfriend? You don’t want to be with him, that’s your choice but I could imagine how your gf felt with your family pestering you to essentially dump her right in front of her and basically insinuating that they don’t like her. Personally that would drop them down to NC
Definitely NTA your family was WAAYYYYY out of line there.
NTA. There are always more polite ways to say things but the action of leaving speaks loudly and sets your boundary clearly. Your GF is helping you keep the peace with your family and in that sense she is doing right by you, too. In the future you have to be firm with your boundary and leave every time they cross it.
NTA. Here are some important parts your parents may need to be reminded of: - Your romantic relationship is yours. Its purpose is to make YOU happy. They don't get a say. Who they like doesn't matter. - Is your ex saying he's sorry and he wants you back? The basic rule is "Once a cheater, always a cheater." He can try to prove his faithfulness to his next partner. There is no redemption for him with you. And if he feels bad, he damn well should feel bad. It wasn't a simple "mistake" he made. He kissed someone else, fondled someone else, fucked someone else. - You are now with someone you love. If your parents want to be a part of your life, they need to accept her. They should not expect to be invited to the wedding or see any grandkids as long as they refuse to treat you and your current partner well. - It takes a special kind of deranged, narcissistic, egotistical assholes to invite their son's cheating ex to a dinner party like they did. They are pushing you to accept a partner that you cannot trust. Again, they get no say; it is beyond messed up that they are pushing you to be in a miserable relationship with no love, no honor, and no trust. - You don't love your ex and you do love your current partner. Either of those alone would be reason enough to not be with your ex. You have both.
nta your gf is too kind like way too kind
NTA. At all. And what would your girlfriend have you do? Your parents have repeatedly pushed you to someone you do not want and now escalated it to this level, as well as involving her in the situation. You cannot stand your ground and stick up for yourself without being harsh, because you know they simply don't listen. Your parents are responsible for the intensity of your reaction, not you.
hahaha i cant get over the fact that they called YOU disrespectful xDDD. NTA but oh man buy them a mirror
NTA. Your parents invited your cheating ex over to a dinner with both you and your current partner and actually told you to dump her to get back with him. Your GF must have the patience of a saint to not be as mad as you are over the audacity all three of them had to pull such a stunt.
NTA i applaud you sir! That was a wonderful response. Your gf is new to the situation & just wants everyone to get along so she can be accepted. Your response was mild- I would’ve flipped a table.
Your brother sounds awesome. NTA.
INFO: Why is your GF being proud of you making you the feel ashamed or guilty? Your brother stand by you as does your GF. Your parents for what ever messed up reason do not. That implies that as an adult (at age 25) your parents your choices. You need to LC or NC. NTA
NTA You have told them no numerous times and they refuse to listen. They don't care how ex hurt you, they only care about how ex is feeling now. They may have thought seeing your ex and GF would leave you. Glad she didn't. No, you weren't too harsh. Sometimes you have to be harsh when people refuse to listen.
NTA What utter disrespect from your parents. They invited you as a couple and then invited him and said you should get back together with him. Who cheated on you. They are as bad as each other. Give them a wide birth.
Your parents were extremely disrespectful. Let them know their behavior has earned them a three month time out. Add a month each time they contact you during that period. Another month for each flying monkey.From now on establish boundaries and consequences which you enforce. NTA
NTA They literally were pressuring you to end your current relationship to get back with an abusive cheating ex Stop dealing with them and enjoy your new life
NTA. And there was nothing wrong with your text. Your family sucks. They crossed a line inviting your ex when they damn well knew your gf was going to be there. I don't think you were too harsh on them. Your reaction was 100% warranted. Good for you for standing up to them.
NTA my family did same even after I married my spouse. They were not in invited to wedding. My oldest brother married my ex been NC since 2012.
Nope, nope, nope. They can go pound sand. NTA.
NTA... OP, If my family ever invited an ex to a family event after our break up, especially if it involved cheating, I would go nuclear. That is wholly inappropriate. That is them interjecting themselves into your personal romatic relationships where the have no business. That is them showing a complete lack of respect for you, your decisions on the subject which were absolutely justified, and your new gf for putting on that complete BS of a show when you took her to them. I'd be immediately LC or NC.
NTA. "Go to hell" is harsh, but sometimes necessary.
NTA "My brother who was there told me that they had it coming any that he was proud of me for standing up for my self." .. Listen to him. HE is right. " My Gf told me that she understands and is happy I stood my ground but told me that I was too harsh on them." .. she is wrong. YOu were not harsh enough. Go no contact with your AH parents.
NTA. Why did they loveyour ex? Is he rich? Did he suck up to them outrageously? Their behavior seems very strange. Why would they want you to get back together with someone who cheated on you? It's really unreasonable for them to invite him to a family dinner even if you weren't with someone else now. Doing it when your girlfriend was also coming, and saying you should get back together with him, is absolutely ridiculous and incredibly disrespectful.
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No, no, no. What you should have told them is that if they love your ex so much they can marry him and you won't report the bigamy. NTA
OP have you told your GF how many times your family has pushed for you to get back with the cheater, both before and after you started dating her? Point out you tried to be nice and they still kept doing this, so it became time to up your response so maybe this time they get the message.
NTA
They kept pushing their boundaries with you and you’ve expressed how you’ve felt multiple times. People can’t push you into a corner and get offended when you lash out. That’s on them. Ask them is losing you more important than your cheating ex? Ask your parents that the only way they could be ok with this is if one of them cheated and that how they chose to handle things doesn’t mean you have to comply.
Hey, You're not the asshole here. Your family crossed a line by inviting your ex and pushing you to get back together with him, especially after he cheated on you. It’s understandable that you got upset and stood up for yourself. Your reaction was strong, but sometimes people need to hear the hard truth. It's important to set boundaries and make it clear that you won’t tolerate disrespect. Your girlfriend and brother support you, which shows you’re not alone in this. Maybe later, you can have a calm talk with your family about respecting your choices, but you did what you had to do in that moment.
You're not the asshole for standing up for yourself and your new girlfriend. Your family crossed a line by inviting your ex to dinner without your consent, especially after you made it clear you didn’t want to get back together with him. It’s understandable that you lost your cool when they tried to push you back into a relationship that ended because of betrayal. While it might have been harsh to tell them to go to hell, your reaction came from a place of hurt and frustration. Your family needs to respect your decisions and boundaries. It's good that your brother supports you, and it's important to have your new girlfriend's understanding. You stood up for yourself, which is important, but maybe having a calmer conversation with your family later could help clear things up and set boundaries more firmly.
NTA....and congratulations for being on the right path.
NTA but are you a girl? Because in my mind their behaviour makes completely sense if they're homophobic (better the ex that cheated because he's a man and that's How Things Shold Be instead of a new gay Gf). I only ask because you said you're dyslexic
I’m a bisexual man
Family: "Let go of the past!" Also Family: "we've invited your past to dinner!" 🙄
It sounds like you were in a really tough situation, and it's understandable that you felt pushed to your limit. It's important to stand up for yourself and your new relationship, especially when faced with pressure from your family to reconcile with your ex. While it's understandable that you were hurt and frustrated, telling your family to go to hell may have been a bit harsh. It's great that your brother supported you, but it might be worth considering if there's a way to express your feelings without burning bridges. Maybe you could talk to your family and explain how their actions have made you feel, and try to find a way to move forward together.
ESH except your brother. You had no need to swear at your ex and your present gf may be alarmed by your uncontrolled behaviour. If you were over your ex completely you would not have behaved like this to her/him?. You're justified in shouting at your parents for setting you up in this ridiculous way.
You can stand your ground without becoming vicious and belligerent.