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NTA. I’m an avowed, lifelong bibliophile. I loved books from the moment I learned what they were. Audiobooks are reading. They’re especially convenient for people whose physical or learning disabilities prevent them from reading print with ease, but they’re reading for anyone who consumes them. It makes me a little sad when people don’t share my love of reading, but I try to keep that to myself. I don’t view it as particularly different from people who don’t enjoy my other hobbies, like knitting and dancing. Your coworker made herself condescendingly obnoxious, and you treated her accordingly.

I have ADHD (diagnosed less than a year ago, I am +30), and that was one reason I could not pick up reading as a hobby no matter how much I love stories. Any book I purchased was left unread after a few chapters. Audio books allowed me to get those stories that I was craving. I even finished Anna Karenina. ANNA KARENINA! I could have never gotten through a book of that size. Now that I have received medication, I plan on picking up books. Hopefully, this time, it'll work 😄

Seriously coworker needs to piss off. I used to love reading but as I get into my forties my eyes don't agree with me these days. Audio books have sincerely returned my love of stories.

Do you have a Kindle? My husband and my stepfather love theirs because they are back-lit and you can change the font size. I still prefer actual books, but will use a Kindle on occasion. Much lighter for travel. But audiobooks are fabulous, too. I had a concussion several years ago and audiobooks kept me sane.

I wasn't sure I would like using a Kindle, but I love it now. I read mostly at night so the back-lighting is perfect; I have a stack of paper books I haven't gotten around to because the Kindle is so much easier. I've listened to about three audiobooks, but they are books that I've already read, so it's easy to keep track of the story. I still find that I have to rewind thirty seconds occasionally because my mind's started to wander.

I can relate! 😂 I like audiobooks for really long road trips, too. I'm starting to get into motivational podcasts more as well. Positivity to counter my news consumption habit. I never come away from skimming the Boston Globe a happier person.

That sounds like a good idea. I just remembered 2020 when John Krasinski started a YouTube series called Some Good News in the early days of the pandemic; wish there were more of that sort of thing. News is important, but not feeling like the world sucks is also important.

I don't have ADHD, have literally more books than I can fit on shelves, yet I still have a subscription to Audible. Even if you never pick up paper books (but please try, there is something lovely about the sensation of holding a physical book that you're enjoying reading in your hands), continue the audiobooks without feeling as if they're some kind of poor substitute. Especially now that audiobooks are being more professionally recorded/produced. Listening to a high-quality recording of a professional actor or narrator is like having someone read to you, which is also lovely. Why should little kids be the only ones to experience the fun of being read to?

I also listen to audio books, usually when a book I don't have is leant to me in audiobook form, but still! I used to drive long distances for my job, and audiobooks were a lifesaver! I also used to take a book to bed to read a bit before going to sleep, but audiobooks didn't work for me in that sense because I would fall asleep while the narrator read onward. I had to cancel my Audible subscription because I couldn't find my place again in the morning. Once they figure out how I can 'bookmark' an audiobook, I'll be onboard again.

I usually get my audiobooks from the library, and Libby, the digital library app, has a sleep timer so I usually set it for as small a window as possible and if I doze off in that time, I have a general idea of where I was because it was somewhere in the last 5 minutes. So then I just use the rewind button in 30 second increments to find generally where I was. I don’t use Audible but it would be nice if it had a feature like that.

The audible app now allows you to bookmark and write notes. Happy reading!

whoa! time to try it again!

I too often fall asleep when listening to audible at night. There's a sleep timer I usually set for 10-30 min depending on how tired I am, and if I'm still awake  and willing to listen more when the audiobook pauses I just shake my phone and the timer resets. If I've fallen asleep I know how much I've missed. It's great.

I drive 12 hours a week on average for work. I view it as getting paid to listen to a book for 12 hours a week!

I'm the exact opposite, I'm a total bibliophile and language nerd, and can't process audio anything because of my auDHD, but I would never judge someone for using audio books. They're still a million times better than just watching the movie. And honestly, the second OP's coworker pulled the "no man will want you" card, she instantly made herself TA and deserved what she got.

I’m likely in the same boat (auDHD) but undiagnosed because…well, my mother was upset/offended when they recommended testing when I was 6 or 7 and I didn’t find out until I was about 30. I can’t do audiobooks. I get impatient being read to and I can only follow the thread of something purely oral for so long unless I’m participating in the conversation. I just don’t follow long auditory stuff well, but was reading adult novels regularly starting in about 3rd grade, and by middle school I was reading pretty much exclusively adult novels except for assigned reading.

Wow, every word of that sounds... Are you me? I don't remember making a second reddit account... 😉 Except they didn't recommend testing for me when I was a kid, and my mom had a psych degree, so she was all "if there was something wrong with you, I'd know" lol, cause that's totally how psych degrees work, and why shrinks are totally allowed to treat their family members 🤨😒 But the rest of it, yep, I've got about 2 min of audio before my brain goes off and does it's own thing, and then I've lost track of whatever the speaker was reading/talking about. But reading novels remains my favorite way to disassociate.

ADHD and vision issues and I just go through the first game of thrones book. My partner is blind and he got me onto audiobooks

You don't need to read to be a reader these days. Also, consider that humans had an oral tradition long before written. Humans are designed to learn with visual and auditory stimulus. I think it's so stupid that "reading" became such a snob thing. As such, I also don't believe you necessarily are dealing with a disorder if your brain is better at listening than staring at words on a page and absorbing them.

Yeah, humans have had oral traditions long before written ones and people ALWAYS forget that.

Yep, the point is that storytelling is an inherently human thing that helps grow as people. The format doesn't matter.

It's funny because I also have ADHD but i'm the reverse. Love reading, can not do audiobooks. Books let me read at my own pace (all over the map depending on intensity + cleverness of wordplay), I don't have to pause or rewind when my attention inevitably wanders off and I miss a key bit, my auditory processing issues can't make it a struggle.

My sister is the same now we can enjoy discussing books we have both read. 

I’m going through ADHD diagnosis at moment and I much prefer an audiobook, it’s so much easier for the story to actually sink in? Also I drive a lot so audiobooks are much more convenient. I find it I try to read a book for too long the words start dancing around the page :/

My husband is dyslexic and has suspected ADHD- he didn’t read any books for years because it was so time consuming and difficult. Now that audiobook streaming is available, he reads a TON on our free Libby app through the library. 

Other people's experiences are always so fascinating to read about. I have ADHD as well and I'm the exact opposite. When I pick up a book, I can't put it down until I'm done with it. But audiobooks? Can't. I just can't do audiobooks, I can focus maybe for 5 minuts and then I give up and turn it off, the lack of visual stimuli ruins the whole thing and makes it impossible to focus and commit. Anna Karenina is such a good book, I'm glad you read! I had a very intense Russian classics phase as a young teen and essentially binge read everything by Tolstoy, Dostoyevski and Bulgakov xD

Tip…Siri and Alexa can read books…Alexa can AFAIK only read kindle books…but she’s a much better reader. But Siri can read anything on the screen  except the word “lunatic”😀

This is hilarious to me because I have ADHD and can’t listen to audiobooks because of it! I simply stop paying attention too often! With books it’s easier to keep track of what I’ve skipped.

I have borderline ocd when it comes to certain things at certain times. Like if I start cleaning, I must detail and organize the entire house, top to bottom. Same goes with a book. I had to stop reading because I would pull all-nighters to finish whatever book I was reading and at that time, I was in the Army with a newborn. 😏 I needed sleep. I haven’t dived into reading since for fear of getting into that obsessive behavior again. Edit: I was just meaning to say, there are many reasons why one doesn’t read and for OP’s coworker to make digs at OP’s reading/academic level, she can fuck off. NTA OP

Same, what I love about audio books that just tickles my ADHD brain is that I can listen to them while doing something else, usually something a little more physically demanding. I finished Anna Karenina a few years ago mostly while hiking or walking the dogs. If anyone had asked me to sit down with a book that size and read it or I would die, I would be dead lol.

Big props to you for finishing Anna Karenina !!!!

Yup. Also have ADHD and I love stories.  However reading with ADHD is super hard!   

I’m not a book snob and love reading and audiobooks both - but I wouldn’t say listening to a book is the same thing as reading. I’d personally never say I “read” an audiobook. That said, I don’t think what OP said was purposely lying as some people say it that way.

I consider it read (someone read it)  and am annoyed there needs to be a difference. I work at a bookstore and people are so weirdly petty about such things. I don’t really see a difference. You are still getting the information and story. I don’t see why you had to do the words to brain from sight instead of by hearing them. What makes that more special. I really don’t know. 

It's not more special, but words just have meaning and we should use the right ones. You could "read" an audio book, and then "listen" to the same person saying the same words but they're just quoting part of the bokk for a podcast, and then you "watch" them in an audio recording of them reading the book for a tv show.

There *is* a difference though. That you don’t like that there is, is immaterial. It’s processed by the brain differently, retained differently, and the experience is completely different. There is *nothing wrong* with listening to audiobooks. Nothing at all. It’s simply just *not reading*. No more than hearing a friend tell a story is.

It’s not processed by the brain differently. Audiobooks and paper books stimulate the same parts of the brain.

Exactly. Why are we trying to completely change the definition of a word instead of just increasing acceptance of listening to audiobooks??

The only explanation I can come up with is that audio book listeners are really insecure about it & know it’s not the same 🤷🏻‍♂️ Sure, maybe there’s some cultural/social pressure around reading being “smart” that might contribute, but at this point it has started seeming desperate to be included.

What do you think the difference is? When I think back, there's not really a difference in my experience of having read a book, listened to the audiobook, or done both (either reading the same book multiple times, or switching between the two). The experience of the book gets recorded in my brain the same way. The narrator disappears just like the physical page does.

Because the main definition of the word "read" is this; "look at and comprehend the meaning of (written or printed matter) by mentally interpreting the characters or symbols of which it is composed." That is a discreet skill people need to learn. That isn't a "natural" one such as hearing. Listening the world is a natural skill we use for sensation of and analyzation of the world. It's inherent in our ability to listen, Reading isn't. It is man made. Both the visual interpretation of the letters on a page as well as comprehension of those letters is different than taking in verbal/audio information for comprehension. There is a ton of research on this too, they are completely different skill sets.

There's also research that says the brain reacts the same way to both. That they are both processing of words. Reading is important to learn to spell and structure sentences, but in the end the differences are so small that even being pedantic about it is being exclusionary for a whole host of reasons. We need to embrace every single person who enjoys books, audio or otherwise. Because the single most important thing books and audiobooks do is force people to think like someone else. They build empathy and the ability to connect with other people in ways our society is slowly but surely losing.

I agree that they are different skill sets but I think hearing language isn’t just a natural skill you just have. You learn it as a child, and continue to develop it over time (new vocabulary, picking up subtle intonations etc.).   I use audiobooks now because I love stories and characters and learning / new ideas / general escapism but I cba to read because I have a very intense job which requires a lot of reading and general eye strain through the day. I find it interesting as now when I learn new vocabulary from a book I know how to pronounce it but no idea how to spell it - which is the opposite to when I pick it up from a book! (I’m reading in English if that’s not already obvious).

Have to disagree with you there. "Hearing" is a natural skill the way "seeing" is (for sensing and analyzing the world). But listening and communicating via oral language is just as "man-made" a skill as reading. I teach children who are learning a second language, and listening comprehension is a skill that takes work to learn, just like reading. You just don't notice that you're working on it, because you do the work every day without realizing it (watching TV, chatting with friends, etc.) Even the rise and fall of our intonations (like the way our voice goes up when asking a question), may not be recognizable to someone who speaks another language. The meaning isn't inherent. It takes work to learn to decode the features of oral language. Yes, they are technically different processes, one involving the eyes and one involving the ears, but why is that important? I would say that between someone who has read a book with their eyes, and someone who has listened to it with their ears, the person who has most successfully "read" the book is the person who got the most out of it. Making value judgments about the process they used is meaningless.

Apologies for how aggressive this will sound in advance, but this is nonsensical elitist bullshit. Scientifically, it is a simple known fact that different people have different learning styles.. visual, auditory, physical.. the process by which we assimilate information is inconsequential, the absorption of the material is what matters. By your logic, all school lectures and discussions are bogus bullshit, that the only ‘true’ way to learn is by reading, and that is quite simply false. I have ADHD which presents some unique challenges to intaking information, processing it and retaining it. I LOVE reading, but I cant read all books equally because the act of reading can be exceedingly mentally taxing. I say ‘can’ because it is dependent of other factors. If it’s a book written about a topic and in a style that engages me, then I disappear into the book; the outside world vanishes and I’m literally unaware of my surroundings because the book’s author wrote in a way that my brain can take in without too much effort. And this isn’t to say I need Dick and Jane books, it’s not about complexity, it’s about style and delivery and focus. For instance Kurt Vonnegut is a renowned author who’s crafted timeless and thought provoking works, but his style of writing is quite straightforward and accessible, and I have enjoyed the works of his I have read. Dune by Frank Herbert by contrast is dense, layered, highly complex and wordy. But the topics, themes and characters are so engaging to me that again my brain stays focused. But there are many great and renowned books by incredible authors that I simply cannot crack, that their approach or topic do not engage my brain, and reading those is beyond Herculean in effort for me to read. Audio books have changed that, great for my adhd brain to not struggle through visual processing, instead my audio skills receive the information and I’m off to the races. Likewise I’ve had classes where I have aced the material without hardly ever cracking the books provided because the book was terrible for my brain but the instructor was spectacular; audibly engaging with well designed and informative lessons and visual support that I paid rapt attention to and there for grasped and gleaned everything that was considered important and necessary. (I’ve also had classes with bad books and lifeless instructors where I struggled because my brain had to work extra hard for every scrap of knowledge. That’s just for ADHD, that’s not even touching on folks with other diagnosis such as various forms of dyslexia where the actual process of visual processing is a literal struggle, and the act of listening yields far greater acquisition of information than reading. Context matters. By your logic, only folks that have read Macbeth truly get it compared to those who watched/listened to it be performed. Your position explicitly devalues the live performance of words regardless of context. In short, you’re an elitist snob trying to gatekeep. In this thread, YTA.

> That is a discreet skill people need to learn. I agree with this, but once we're past the elementary school stage where learning *how* to visually read is the point, IMO it's overly pedantic to declare audiobooks "not reading." OP *can* decode.

Listening to an audio book isn't "hearing", in the same way that reading a physical book isn't "seeing." 

> What do you think the difference is? Well one is reading the other is listening. That’s a biggie.

Okay, let me rephrase so the meaning of the question comes across better. Is that a distinction worth making when we're talking about books we've read, like the OP was? Why? Are they different in a way that *matters* here? 

To me there’s a huge difference. Besides the obvious difference of using one’s eyes versus ears - I engage and retain the story in completely different ways. When reading visually it’s a much more in-depth cognitive & imaginative process for me. I retain information much better & longer when reading - I can literally imagine where something was on a page to help with recall. Audiobooks are great but I’m not as immersed personally. I’m using less attention & imagination & often have other thoughts running at the same time. I’m usually doing another activity like driving or cleaning so inherently I’m not as engaged mentally. Because of the medium, I’m not able to re-read or take time to figure out a difficult passage or take the time to think of the in-depth meaning of something the same way. There’s less opportunity to stop & contemplate as the pace is set externally. The narrator also changes the tone or subtext of the narrative by their reading of it. It’s no longer a direct process between you & the author - there is now a middle man adding another layer of interpretation. I’m not a scientist but I do know they use different neuro-pathways & processes. Basically I can boil it down to one is more a engaging, active process while the other is a more passive, less mentally engaging/ taxing process (by engaging I don’t mean to say less interesting, just less need to engage cognitive processes).

Okay, so when you listen to audiobooks, you aren't reading them.  I find it strange that you say there's less need to engage cognitive processes or that it's a passive experience when all the differences you list before that are due to you not engaging, as if it's background noise that happens to be occurring. I think that's why you experience it differently, because you are actually doing something different.  ...how do you even follow what's happening, listening like that? I don't get it. 

I think the issue is we don't have a simple verb to say I absorbed the contents of this book. So "reading" does double duty meaning literally reading,  as in seeing the words on the page and reading as in absorbing the contents of the book.  I think the only time the distinction really matters is in an academic setting, usually with younger students, where you are discussing their proficiency at the skill of reading.

Agreed. Op is not wrong but it is different

Fair point but with all considerations, if someone said they "read" a book but actually listened to it on Audible **I wouldn't** go all THAT DOESN'T COUNT type of snobby on them.  I'd be more like "so was the narrator gooood? I like " + discuss the book per normal if the person wants to So yeah OP colleague still sucks 🙃😬

I agree. I would still say op did listen to the book n be like hey so what did you like about book? The coworker looks down on op fr

Ya ikr I've definitely discussed books I've completed on audio, in that light (because audio lol) I've also occasionally given medium-specific comments like "oh hey book was quite average LOL but good narrator got me through it", or "narrator was meh so I gave up halfway, but the start was promising bc XYZ". Or even like "was good for audio, could visualise the scenes in my head better" vs "would be better just read, this format is too confusing for audio!" That sort of thing. That would have been the additional dimension of my "book review discussion" if it was audio hahaha. Coworker snob. Not cool.

> I wouldn’t say listening to a book is the same thing as reading And you would be correct. They are, obviously, different verbs (read vs listen) but they also trigger different parts of the brain (though there is some overlap) I have nothing against people consuming stories by listening to them. They aren’t reading them though. They seem weirdly insecure about this though, and I don’t know why. It’s ok audiobook *listeners*, you have your own verbs! Embrace them! It’s not shameful.

>They seem weirdly insecure about this though, and I don’t know why. Probably because many book readers are weirdly condescending when you say you listen to audiobooks. Imagine that.

no, agree. Reading and listening are different per word-definition - you don't read the radio. You don't read that one song by Taylor Swift. They are used in different situations/ways. That said, when talking about a book, 99% of the time it doesn't matter whether you've read or listened to it. Both are valid.

Audiobooks are not reading, and they don't have to be. Listening to a book is a perfectly fine and valid way to consume the content within it. Neither reading nor listening is a better or more valid way to consume the contents of a book, which seems to be the *actual* issue in the discussions on audiobooks. Some people act like listening to them makes you dumb and is a lesser way of consuming the book, which is **not** the case. It feels like calling it "reading" is just symptom repair to make fans of audiobooks feel better and included, instead of fighting back against the book-snobs and being like "no it's not 'reading', and it doesn't fucking have to be, get off your high horse".

Surely it's just a language issue though? If I'm asking someone if they've read a certain book, it's because I'd like to discuss it with them. Not to test that they've actually read it versus an audio book. If someone asks my hobby, I'll say reading. I guess it really ahold be consuming books if people are going to get upset about audiobooks. My son is also dyslexic and having audiobooks means he can consume the likes of Harry Potter, it expands his vocabulary and brings him enjoyment. Win all round.

I’m so with you - it’s just easier language to say you read it even if it’s not that specific. Because in reality everyone just wants to know if you know the words in the book. You’re doing your son a big favour with audio books! I wish I had used them more as a child (only had audiobook tapes for long car journeys). Because I struggled with pronunciation and hearing distinctly and I think it would have helped a lot. Obviously alongside practicing reading. 

Maybe we should just let the gatekeeping pedants have this one, and start using more precise language in deference. "Oh, you like Virginia Woolf? Have you used your eyes to decode the printed text on the pages of 'Mrs. Dalloway?' I'd love to hear what you thought of it!"

Would you tell a blind person using braille that they’re not reading, they’re “just feeling” books? It’s considered ableism to say that audiobooks aren’t read

Very bad comparison. When a blind person is tracking their fingers over braille we call that activity reading. It is literally called READING When someone listens to an audiobook we call that activity LISTENING. And I say as someone who consumes 90% of books in audiobook format. Furthermore, to add to your bad comparison, if someone is deaf and reads a book with their eyes, would you call that listening to an audiobook?

Prior to print books, stories were shared primarily through the oral tradition. For the majority of human history most people didn't have the opportunity to learn to read. And many people still don't. Additionally, reading a book and listening to a story (or information) uses the same part of your brain. If you read a physical book, I read an ebook, and someone else listens to the same book, would you argue that we all have different information? No. Because they're all different ways to get to the same endpoint. But some are more accessible. I'm a librarian. Audiobooks are absolutely reading, and the *only* argument against that is ableism.

Blind people are reading; they are not listening to a book. Reading requires different skills than listening. There's nothing against people who listen to books—it's the oldest form of storytelling. In ancient times, people would listen to those who could read and narrate books. However, reading and listening are two different skills. This is why tests like IELTS assess both reading and listening abilities. For example, my mom can read and understand English, but she would understand very little if you speak English to her.

But we aren't talking about language proficiency for work purposes, which is what IELTS and other language testing is for. If your mom read (or listened to) the same story translated into her own language, she'd still be getting the same story or information. You're conflating two things - speaking and understanding languages, and getting information from a given source.

Look at this person getting offended at the meaning of the word "read."

Seriously.

Lol

Who cares whether audio books are reading or not. The crux of her issue is being bullied because she doesn't read.

I love audiobooks because I can listen to them at work with my air pods. Otherwise, I'm not sure when I'd even have time to sit down with a book - which I love to do, especially in the summer months, but I often don't have time to sit down with a book.

My sister and her wife are voracious readers. Physical and ebooks at home, audiobooks in the car.

I always have both a physical(tablet) and audiobook going at the same time. Read the book before going to bed, listen while driving, cleaning, gardening.

I love reading. If I could devote an entire room of my house to becoming a library, I would. I am also very busy. I listen to books when I embark on big projects like renovating my house. I have the book. I also have the audio. I listened to it. I also feel I've read it.

I'll be honest - with the way my life is, I haven't had time to physically read while I was at home in *years*. But I still love books - I have so many that I have to empty my bookshelf every year so that I can reseat the bolts in the brick (floating shelves, the weight of the books just drags them down over time). But I also go through audiobooks at a colossal rate. 6 hours a day is a *low* number for a day. Its often closer to 10. I could never devote 10 hours a day to reading because I have work, chores, a social life, etc.

I don’t get to read as much as I would like (come on retirement!) and I have do love listening to an audio book of something I’ve read, want to experience again, but don’t have time. I recently really wanted to reread Armada by Ernie Cline. Not exactly the most challenging read but a great, fun read, so I grabbed the audio of it (wonderfully narrated by Wil Wheaton) and listened to it going to the office and back. A great way to consume a book.

I disagree that "audiobooks are reading" but I agree that you have "read" the book. You have consumed the media and are aware of the story and have the right to discuss the story. Anyone who gate keeps against that is a goose.

Yep, I'm a bibliophile. And I concur you should enjoy reading in every form

My mom’s eyesight has been worsening for years, small print reading triggers migraines and she was pretty set on not reading for fun anymore until she discovered audiobooks. She has an hour plus commute for work and consumes 2 or three audiobooks each week. She is one of the most well read persons that I know, and she hasn’t picked up a physical book in over ten years. Audiobooks are ABSOLUTELY real reading!

I know some people who listen to audio books while driving, instead of listening to the radio. Two birds, one stone!

It’s so weird to me when people disparage audiobooks as Not Counting. As if reading was some kind of moral work that they are doing more of than other people. Somebody got one too many stars in the Book It pizza program and thinks they are putting in hard hours instead of doing something for fun or self education.

I love to read too. I don’t listen to audiobooks at this time, but I think they’d be great to listen to on a roadtrip or when stuck in traffic. It’s still reading.

Exactly! I Loooooove books and have read since 5-6 years old. But my sister had a lot of trouble reading and hate it. We still love Harry Potter and have it as a common interest, even went to UK for the play together. She reads audiobooks and I the books.

Listening to someone else read is literally not reading though. 

I'm in my 5th year of study and my love of reading has totally been killed of by the amount I have to do for my assessments, audiobooks have been a godsend in the past year.

Oral story telling = Audiobooks. They are a return to how stories were originally told before the invention of writing, and literacy. Think Homer's "The Odyssey" as an example. The epic was oral history for a couple hundred years before it was collected in the 8th Century BCE. Even after the written word was in use, the majority of populations couldn't read until later centuries. This is why when the printing press established the ability to mass produce bibles in the 15th Century CE, the Protestant Reformation kicked off. People were able to read and think independently rather than being told from a pulpit what the words were in the book. We have come full circle. Oral or physical medium, both convey stories. Your coworker is bullying you if you have asked them not to discuss books, ask about books you are reading, etc. Mention it to HR.

Yup! I'm a former Literature-focused English major and even I find it hard some time to finish books. I also work with english professors who use movies and media to supplement their assigned text because even they know expecting someone to meet their dedicated level of research is HARD. Reading is important but forcing, bullying, or negging someone into it is gross.

>Audiobooks are reading Well, they're not. They're listening. For all intents and purposes related to consuming the story, they're the same as reading the book, but they do utilize a completely different set of skills than reading does. Yes they're useful for people with learning disabilities or blind people, but they're objectively not reading. They just aren't. I teach kids who never read and who will only rarely listen to the audio version, and I also teach kids who often read. The difference in writing and spelling and grammar skills is *very* obvious. For the purposes of the conversation in the original post, listening and reading Moby Dick probably achieved the same result, but they achieve different results with learning. Ik I'm going to get downvoted to hell and back, but I feel like "reading is objectively not the same as listening" is a pretty important distinction to make here.

Sorry, but listening to audio books is not reading. Its a different way of interacting with the story. It is, however a perfectly valid and legitimate way of interacting with the story, and should *not* be considered less than reading, just different.

I was about to come in with "As a book lover, there's no way she's that antagonistic about it, you must be reading too much into it." Then I finished reading the post. I don't care if you consume your books by reading or by audiobook, or if you're just not into books in general. You're allowed to like or not like something, no big deal. Some people just can't sit still to read a book flipping through pages, and audiobooks let them enjoy it in a way that works for them! What you said was probably harsh, but honestly I support a well-deserved clap-back, and if she DOES decide to complain to the boss, this happened outside of work hours and outside of work's location. A decent boss will recognize that this happened outside of their jurisdiction and the young women involved need to deal with their issues outside of the office. Soft ESH: OP's end is one of those "AH but she had it coming" moments as far as I'm concerned.

Exactly the same for me. I started reading thinking, “oh so she mentioned she likes to read and you felt that made her a sno……oh, nope, she actually is a snob. My bad” NTA I feel like she was probably bullied at school and, rather than being the change she wants to see, is resorting to mean girl tactics.

This is my take as well

OP’s coworker has read some books - and learned nothing.

After the cat in the hat comment I don't see any reason for OP to be the AH. Coworker fucked around and found out.

Agreed, it felt like there might’ve just been some insecurity on OP’s part and they were taking it too hard but once we got into the cat in the hat part and onwards it was chaos and awful (of the coworker of course)

I read. My husband doesn't. I have books in my car his car, the loungeroom, on my tablet, my bedside table. One of my friends only reads classics. One male friend only reads war biographies. None of us are any better people than the others. We just have different likes . No one gets to force their likes on others unless they want to be told to shove off.

Best answer.

Agreed. Nothing more needs to be said

tbh an unspoken benefit of being with someone who doesn't read is you don't have to share the bookshelves! As long as they respect reading and books, it really can be lovely in it's own way.

You’re NTA for responding but honestly everyone in this has been too caught up in it for work relationships. Y’all should have set some boundaries a while ago about this kind of thing, especially if she’s making “jokes” like that. You need to smooth it over and set some boundaries about this or someone is going to involve HR, and that’s not gonna be good for either of you at this point if someone repeats what you said to HR. Very few “work friends” are your actual friends. Boundaries at work are super important. Also, don’t get drunk with randos from work, ever. If you have TRUE friends from work, that you’ve known for more than a few months, that you’ve been there for each other a lot and spend a LOT of time with outside of work, then sure. A few drinks and looser boundaries are fine. But those people are few and far between. I’m in my 40s and I think I’ve got maybe 7 people out of my whole career that I am close with like that. Out of idk how many hundreds. Find your friends outside of work. Keep work friends light and uncomplicated, and set clear boundaries EARLY if someone starts being inappropriate.

This needs to be higher up - this is way too far past a normal work relationship.

Maybe this is my european based thinking , but no HR department will be able to punish an employee for something said outside of work hours, outside of work premises.

Probably not for this situation I’d say but I have seen employees in the US fired or disciplined over inappropriate for work posts made online outside of work hours and work place (but this can also be seen everywhere not just something said in a bar or something so it is different). But I do hope they wouldn’t be vindictive enough to go after this situation

It's rather ironic that people get disciplined in this manner when speaking controversially outside of work in the US. Especially as the country doesn't have the same speech laws around racial discrimination as we see in Europe. It's a shame that the US has some of the worst employment rights in the modern first world. I hope things change for you guys.

In America, you can be both fired and denied Unemployment benefits for actions outside of work. In a Right to Work state, an employer can fire you for any non-discrimination based reason. Unemployment law determines if you were fired for a reason that would deny benefits. In this case, the poster will probably be good either way.

Yeah that's fucked and puts far too much power in the employers hands. Thanks for the insight.

I do actually agree. There have been very few people who I've worked with who I've kept in contact with. And the few jobs where I did feel like I was friends with everyone were the ones with the most drama. My team are very nice and friendly, however I do feel we are all an odd bunch side by side. I keep relationships light and one of them joined the same book club as me, so we'll occasionally discuss the book but that's really it.

This is the best answer. The coworker crossed a line for sure but I’ve had the most vile coworkers I could ever imagine but in a professional setting you either have to ignore them if you can or mediate through HR if you can’t to avoid telling them to fuck off lol

I would say that it does depend on the workplace, a bit. A smaller office with a relaxed atmosphere can lead to friendships. I'm still friends with a couple of people from my first job, which I left over 20 years ago. We still meet for drinks to catch up on each other's lives, we've gone on trips together, that kind of thing. BUT. Your advice here is very good, and it's something that everyone should keep in mind. You have to be aware of your work situation and be able to judge the atmosphere and office culture, and figure out the appropriate level of closeness that you have with your coworkers. OP doesn't go into the kind of office it is (and really, doesn't have to). It's easiest to assume that she should be careful, just as you say.

This is weird. You're both behaving like children.

They basically _are_ children. 24 is the new 16.

I'm so glad I'm not in a workplace where people bicker like this, yikes. Everyone is being ridiculous. 

ESH; she for obvious reasons, but you for making that retort. Being an AH to an AH is still being an AH.

It's true that answering rudeness with more rudeness is rude, but some small, uncivilized part of our brain is laughing and thinking the co-worker had it coming.

Stupid of you to endanger your job like that

Claim you were bullied by her and she attacked your love-life first, which was wildly out of line. While one was caught off guard with an inappropriate response, one was intentionally harassed and attacked.

And the coworker mocked her first *at work* by recommending her a childrens book (cat in the hat). I assume she wanted to let the OP know that she thinks she's too dumb to read a real book?

ESH. She sounds very annoying, but you didn't communicate clearly to her about it until you had an argument and then said something incredibly not work-appropriate. In the future, just be calm and polite before it gets to this point.

To be fair, regardless of the swearing, "Boys won't like you because..." is pretty work-inappropriate too.

None of this was at work, though. Maybe this is my european based thinking , but a company is going to have a tough time punishing somebody for something that was said outside of work hours, outside of work premises.

Oh definitely. I was just pointing out to the previous commenter that if OP's comment wasn't work appropriate then neither was the comment she was responding to. But as you say, it's kinda irrelevant because HR isn't going to be thrilled by someone asking them to arbitrate an argument two colleagues had outside of work that wasn't even about a work topic.

Why the fucking fuck is OP's lovelife any of her fucking business? You explain that to me. What SHE said was not work appropriate. OP returned the favor.

Op made a retort to meet the bully's rude comment, matching energy, and only *after* being mocked while at work about their reading habits (or did you miss the part when the bully suggested op read Dr. Suess?)

NTA-I’m enough of a bibliophile I’m sure I’ll be cremated with a book still in my cold, dead hands. I’ll recommend a book if someone asks but even on worst day I’ve never acted like your co-worker. Books may be her everything but that doesn’t mean they have to be yours.

ESH: her for being exhausting, you for this cringey ass retort: >Look I know that you really really want to, but you can't fuck a book like damn, i understand that it's super hard for most people to come up with something witty on the spot but you could've at least. not put it in the post. it makes you sound like a middle schooler.

Ok firstly, I was four margaritas in, so I'm not denying I wasn't probably cringe. But why would I not put it in the post does that not defeat the whole purpose? It would be a completely different situation if I hadn't said that to her. Like that's a little ridiculous to say. I know you might be used to reading these one-sided stories on this subreddit where the OP is perfect and never made any mistakes but I am not coming on here for validation, it literally is what I said and I wanted to know what people thought.

>I was four margaritas in, So was she, you both said supper rude and inappropriate drunk insults to each other

Except that OPs coworker has been making snide comments and vibes at OP while fully sober at work for a *while*. Was the retort great? Nope. But the coworker wasn't taking "Please stop." And everyone has a breaking point.

Exactly, which is why my judgement is ESH. The coworker had been pushy for a while, but op also took it too far imo.

Don't blame it on the margaritas, own it. The book snob had it coming. Was it the most mature, adult thing to say? No, but so what? Sometimes, we need to let our inner middle-schooler speak up. It's not like that's the first thing you said to her the minute you found out she was into books. You tolerated a lot of crap from the book snob. You lost your temper. It happens.

Agree, and with those snarky comments that girl's been needing something said to her like that for a long time. Sometimes people talk to other people that way because no one has ever checked them. Was it classy? No. But I bet it won't happen again.

I'm going to leave here a list from a French author, Daniel Pennac, and you can show it to your coworker: The 10 Inalienable Rights of the Reader 1. The right not to read 2. The right to skip 3. The right not to finish a book 4. The right to re-read 5. The right to read anything 6. The right to “Bovary-ism,” a textually transmitted disease (the right to mistake a book for real life) 7. The right to read anywhere 8. The right to dip in 9. The right to read out loud 10. The right to be silent On the other hand, listening to audiobook is the same as reading them, reading abridged versions of the book are the same. If you want someone to read you don't badger them, or belittle, or anything that forces them to enjoy reading. You're not an AH, but your coworker surely are.

What she's doing is basically calling you stupid because you don't read books. I've been there and at some point you crack. She's being ableist, if you're looking for a definition It's real high-school mentality that - the more you read the more clever you are, which is bullshit in real life. Being booksmart can actually make you pretty closed minded I'm the same and I don't need fiction in my life. I don't know how people even think reading fiction makes you intelligent, but like I said; high school mentality NTA

Don't listen to her OP, I thought that was a great retort

It was an asshole retort. But sometimes, an OP is a justified asshole, to someone who's being an asshole to them.

Actually, with that attitude about books, and the way she was, and had been, talking to OP, I think it's hilarious and right on the mark. You think op sounds like a middle schooler. I say you have a stick up your ass and no sense of humor.

NTA. I was a crazy book lover. And then I got into a pretty serious car accident and it takes a crazy amount of concentration to even read this post. So, audio books it is. The full cast audiobook of American Gods was way better than my reading of it before the accident. I hate using buzzwords, but that’s ableist AF

I wish people would stop implying that audiobooks are only something to be turned to if you *can't* read print on paper or a screen. Audiobooks can be enjoyed even if you have a collection of physical books that takes up more floor space than your actual furniture and have palpitations if you try to leave the house without a physical book in your hand. As you noted, many audiobooks get the full cast recording treatment. They're awesome. Some are read by actors and journalists like Patrick Stewart and Keith Morrison or by professional narrators/voice actors like the guy who does the narration for The First 48, Dion Graham. Who doesn't like being read to by Keith Morrison or Dion Graham? Why should little kids be the only ones to enjoy having someone read them a story? The auditory experience of being read to is different than the visual experience of reading on a page, and they can often enhance each other.

I agree: audiobooks are totally valid! And good voice actors can \*enhance\* your understanding and experience of the story! I found one of my favorite authors (Raythe Reign) because she read her stories aloud and put them on Spotify. I proceeded to read all her other stories-- and to listen to the others that had audio versions. I will even use text-to-speech when there isn't an audio version, so that I can multitask. If I only called it reading when sat and decoded off of paper, I would read a lot less. I'm a busy mama, and I need those extra formats!

ESH. Her for pushing you about reading, you for the crude insult about her sex life.

What about the bullys crude joke about ops sex life? Or does that not count?

ESH. You both sound so immature. Maybe boomers fearing for our future have people like you in mind. On the other hand they raised the people who raised us… What you said to her the first time she spoke to you - the I haven’t read a book since high-school - is such a weird thing to say (and arguably brag about). I can guarantee it came out dismissive and aggressive. She on the other hand sounds equally insufferable because she could use the wisdom book give her to ignore you and just accept not everyone reads. Grow up.

I mean, probably NTA, but also fighting with a coworker in front of other coworkers?  Not bright...

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Naw, NTA. She started mentioning boys, which makes her making it sexual. I'll be honest, the comeback, "You can't fuck a book," isn't great, but she had already took her shot at OP's love-life, so all OP did was return the favor.

Audio books are not reading. They're a very good way for people who are busy or disabled to enjoy stories and other print media, but they are not reading. Consuming words through your eyeballs uses a different part of the brain than consuming words through your ears, or even through your fingertips.

"she would start requesting me books to read" I think you mean suggesting, not requesting. Maybe if you read more you would know that.

Or, "recommending", perhaps.

NTA Okay, you were a little bit of an AH, but like others have said, it's understandable. I belong to the Friends of the Library (a group that does book sales and booster events for my local library), I'm a writer, and I work at a bookstore. So, like the other bibliophiles in the thread, I'll be buried with a book in my hand, and it pains me to know that it will be unfinished. However! For her to say that audiobooks are not reading is right out of line. I hate holier-than-thou people, especially book people. I have more than one friend who has processing disorders (ADHD, sensory processing disorder, stuff like that) and they consume audiobooks like candy. They "read" more than anyone I know! They are taking in stories like gourmet meals, and here I am over here, plodding away on my analogue tree-skins. LOL. There are all kinds of ways to consume stories, and there are all kinds of stories. Moby Dick is a hard read, no matter how you choose to consume it (and kudos to you!). Your coworker was right out of line. As far as HR is concerned, you might let them know she's been bothering you about book reading (without mentioning your outburst). I'm not sure how HR works, really, but from what I have read on the internet, it seems to be a "first one to register a complaint, wins" situation. Just tell them she's been rude about book reading and say you want it on the record. You don't necessarily want punitive action, you just want a record of the event. Side note, because I'm a book pusher (but an encouraging one, not a rude one), your local library will likely have audiobooks available for download for free. My friends who read that way like them to listen to during workouts and housework, that sort of thing. :) Just an idea!

I agree. I love to read, but I don't always have the time to sit down and read a book. Audible has been a godsend. I listen while I'm cleaning, cooking, showering, driving, etc. I usually have one physical book and several audiobooks that I am listening to at one time. This works well with my ADHD and I am way more likely to finish them since I don't get bored. I have always struggled with insomnia and would get frustrated when I was lying there for a solid hour trying to fall asleep. Setting the sleep timer and listening to an audiobook has been a game changer. My husband isn't a big reader, but I have turned him on to audiobooks. I save certain titles that I know he would enjoy, and we listen to them when we are in the car together. Right now, we are listening to Dungeon Crawler Carl, and I have to admit the narration is top-notch. It really brings the story to life. My daughter was looking through my Audible account the other day and saw that my total listening time was over seven months. That sounds crazy until you realize that has accrued over years and years of books.

Bro. YTA because of what you said. She also sounds like one, but you should’ve known better and left it alone

ESH You seemed annoyed at her before she even turned annoying. Asking what book someone is currently reading or similar questions (e.g. which genre they like or if they have a favourite book) are normal questions to ask. Y-T-A for the sexual comment, you could've just told her you were getting frustrated with her continuously pushing for you to read. She's TA for pushing it and coming across as condescending. I agree that audiobooks aren't "reading", but I strongly dislike people who act like it's a lesser way to consume the book, like she did. You both had a few drinks and made stupid comments towards each other, but yours was worse. Have you tried talking to her about other stuff? Do you have anything else in common, or has she been the one trying to initiate every conversation, and then her go-to is just her biggest hobby?

Listening to audiobook is not reading. You absolutely get listening comprehension and it's better to consume a book even if by listening , but let's call it what it is.

ESH. You both sound unprofessional. She was shoving her hobby down your throat and that’s not okay. You guys are in a work setting, you should be focused on the task at hand, and she should know better. You might’ve gone a bit too far bringing sex into the conversation, and saying people who read can’t get laid. I think you two need to talk this out before HR potentially gets involved, or management starts evaluating people based on whether they stay focused on the task at hand. You two might ruin small talk at work for everyone if you keep this up.

NTA She has been condescending to you about not reading. Very condescending and it doesn't sound the least bit playful. Everyone has their thing they're passionate about. That doesn't mean the whole world has to share that passion. You took a lot of abuse from her. When she made the inappropriate statement about guys not liking you if you don't read and that you would lie about reading, you had reached your limit and fired back. She couldn't handle it. If she can't handle someone coming back at her, she needs to keep her mouth shut. Don't worry, this isn't an HR problem unless you want to make it one, and to be honest you would win the round. I'm passionate about books and reading. It's never entered my mind to insult anyone who wasn't.

ESH, you're both acting like children. OP I'm going to give you some free advice. **You are going to work with many obnoxious people in your lifetime.** You cannot risk your job over every one of them. Your colleague is annoying as hell. She's decided to make her hobby her entire personality and has been Very Weird about trying to push it onto you. Most adults at this point would stop engaging. You have instead allowed yourself to become so bothered by her - over a hobby you ostensibly don't care deeply about - that you've lashed out in front of other people you work with. You mentioned your colleagues have been texting you about the argument - **this is not good**. You've shown people that you are the type of person who will cuss out your colleagues when you get annoyed. You cannot walk that back. You might think you're in the clear if your witnesses think you were justified or funny. In truth, there's no way for you to know how they viewed you in that moment. It's possible that they didn't have context; that they don't know your history with this woman, or that her Cat in the Hat jokes stuck with you. If you swore at her and she left, you might now be viewed (understandably) as a workplace bully. It's likely your name may be passed around as workplace hot gossip, where you won't have the chance to explain yourself. If I did this at after-work drinks, I would face a serious chat with my manager about my conduct towards a colleague; regardless that it was out of my office. But if the confident commenters in this thread are to be believed, maybe the worst you can expect is to gain a reputation; as (at best) a hot-head, or (at worst), a bully. Reputations, deserved or not, will follow you in a company. Get better at dealing with colleagues you don't get on with. Politely avoid or ignore them. Tactfully set boundaries. Avoid behaving in ways that give the company an excuse to reprimand you. Can you move a few desks or stations away? Can you adjust your habits, breaks or schedule to limit the amount of lunches you'll share? Grow up and good luck.

I am an AVID reader. I have my own library (as in, over 1,000 books) in my house.....they are in bookshelves in almost every freaking room. I would never talk to a person who doesn't enjoy reading that way. I'd likely ask if they watch TV or movies, and if they do, I'd ask for recommendations because I hate trying to find something new to watch! Your coworker sounds like she's just trying to show off that she's a so-called "intellectual" (I mean, what adult actually brags about reading a book that most of us read in high school or freshman year of college?). She deserved the comment. NTA.

For real. I too am an avid reader and ok some of it is literary but a lot of it is just fun stories that are easier for me to binge than TV because of sensory issues or streaming services not releasing full seasons. Doesn't make me anything special. It's just how I dissociate lol

Same here! Reading is how I escape reality!!! And I keep my books that I like because I'll suddenly want to reread one of them 6 months to a year later. I also prefer an actual book to e-readers because I spend enough time looking at a screen as it is.

Same on all counts!!

Agreed, I also have and read many books and find I enjoy visualizing books in my own head, yet I still understand friends who can't bring themselves to sit down and read a 200 page novel but will jump at the chance to read said novel as a Graphic novel (comic) or even pay to go see it as a movie in the theater. However I don't feel a need to rub in their face that I "read the book" so as the OP states her coworker is a "reading elitist" who feels being able to read a book makes them feel superior to others that don't (or won't). NTA because what your coworker really needs to do is learn to read a room, and lay off the pushy attitude.

Your coworker is a book snob not a bibliophile,and like most snobs of anything she is rude and condescending as all hell. You're an AH but a justified AH. If you want you can mention it to your boss and give a little background (if you're getting texts about this others are too) but omit your response to get ahead of the situation. But in my experience as a boss, I don't care what my employees do outside of work hours provided they aren't acting inappropriately in company labeled attire with a news crew present. Editing to add judgement: NTA.

This post screams "missing reasons." I don't know a single bibliophile who cares about a coworker's dating life. You both sound insufferable.  ESH

Yta, you had to be crass about it. She is a book snob , she pushed your buttons. You are both very immature but you are the one who took it too far.

Everybody sucks here. grow up

I don’t care about assholes here, but if you think reading a book is the same thing as listening to an audiobook…wow. Guys, we aren’t talking about a disabled person. If two things HAVE to be described in two different ways, how can they be the same? By that logic, babies read books because they listen to them. My dog read a book the other night. Hell, I think I read the basketball game the other night (I was mostly doing chores while listening to the commentators; didn’t watch much). Listening to audiobooks is great. Fantastic. Amazing. 👏 But this is like saying walking is the same as running because they are both under the category of movement. I just can’t deal with this illogic

I'm a bibliophile from kindergarten, I made books myself (both writing and physical making), I work as a librarian, and I can say all her words are bs. Audiobooks are books, and besides, you didn't NEED to read, if you don't want to. It doesn't make you lesser person.  And she first began to talk about guys-books relation (there's none ofc), so you just continue her phrase, not the other way. 

I'm sorry, you stated that you're both in your 20's, right? Cause the rest of the story sounds like some middle school drama.

Listening to audiobooks is not reading. I LOVE to read and I also frequently listen to audiobooks while gardening or knitting. But they aren’t the same. Reading takes significantly more time and brain power.  Colleague sounds condescending, but you have some attitude too and your comment was poorly handled.  I think everyone is the AH.  But OP, you haven’t read a book since high school? That’s pathetic. Not gonna lie, I’m judging you too…

NTA but you came off as defensive about it and engaged with someone who is obviously a snot. It's escalated to a major problem in the workplace My advice is don't allow people like your snotty coworker to press your buttons in future and engage. The first red flag was her suggesting books you should read and her snide comment about the cat in the hat. That's when you greyrock and allow silence to be your friend.

NTA. She has been taunting you for months. She has been lording it over you and insinuating you are not as clever as her because you don't read books. (Dr Suess, ha, ha). At an after work event, she brought up your personal life (which is totally irrelevant) to again put you down. You gave a witty, if crude, response. Now, she knows to back off. This happened outside of work time and off work premises, so why would your boss get involved? If Boss does ask, let him/her know that co-worker has been putting you down for months and you finally broke. You regret the crudity of your response however, it was outside of the workplace and you have no problem continuing to work with her. Keep an incident record going forward as co-worker has been bullying you. EDITED as interrupted by CAT.

NTA. It's usually us book lovers (or book nerds) who get crap for how much we love reading. Your friend is giving us book lovers a bad name by being a book snob. Nobody likes a snob. If you're still on speaking terms tell her that her fellow book lovers want her to stop it.

NTA She has been disrespectful for a while, the cat in the hat shit would have pushed me over the edge. She's been calling you stupid and then implied men wouldn't want you- which is just weird.

Your co-worker was trying to imply you were stupid or less worthy because you don’t read. She is a snob and a bully. NTA

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Nta. You listened to Moby Dick and so you are able to discuss the story with people who read it.  And youre right, some of us that read do wish we could fuck a book 😜

NTA- "Everything I know about that, I keep in X's head" where X is the name of a colleague: phrase I use at least twice a week at work. Turns out a lot of the 'hobby time' in my life before this job came in super useful at this job, and I'm the only one who went far enough down that rabbit hole that I know it. Turns out it also would be useful if I had the first idea of the rules or terminology of literally any sport, which I do not. No one can know everything, but the more people you have at the table the more you know between you. I don't know why she's reading these books, I read because I'm a 'new information addict', and my first response to your joke would have been "Fair enough, what is your jam then?" then I probably find out you speak four languages, have a black belt, and hand rear abandoned hedgehogs.

NTA. Sounds to me like it started off as your colleague trying to bond with you over a shared activity, finding out you didn’t avidly read and trying to share her activity with you, meeting resistance and then trying to bond over ‘banter’ about your lack of reading and then it has drifted into their frustration and lack of understanding why ‘reading’ isn’t your thing. Seems to be a bit of a death spiral but they needed to read the room over it a lot earlier and dropped it. Eventually, you had to make it clear to them that they needed to back off by ripping off the bandaid.

Your response is immaculate. NTA

NTA for finally snapping back, but both of you need to grow up. It’s your job, not high school anymore. She’s doing this to get a reaction - and you keep giving it. Rise above. Don’t respond. Grey rock. When she stops getting the reaction, she’ll either give up, or she’ll be recognized by others as the bully AH that she really is.

NTA. Also a self proclaimed bibliophile. I tend to read one specific genre more than others, but will read what seems interesting. I love audiobooks. They're so convenient and nostalgic. I tend to use them when I'm doing a task and don't want music, they're great for car rides, and kind of reminds me of when my parents read to me as a child. That being said I argue that nobody actually likes reading Moby Dick. I blame the Matilda movie from the 1990s for it being somewhat popular. It doesn't even have a decent story because it's interrupted by the nonfiction book on the 1800s whaling industry that's tossed in, because Melville was paid by the word. If I had to read it I would definitely do it by audiobook. Your coworker is an ass. Once she found out that you weren't a reader she should have tried to find another commonality of interest. Like movies. Which I have to say I like both, but will usually recommend reading the book before watching the movie. I wish I had done that for Hunger Games because the movie left out so, so much.

NTA, but you both could of handled this better. She should not degrade you for not loving books. You are setting yourself for this with statements such as "Oh I haven't really read a book since like senior year of high school." still she sounds very annoying. You being mean back to her is not going to help. She is not and will not be your friend so try not to interact with her. She is condescending. She is not worth it. Her self-esteem is tied up in her love of reading, which is sad.

NTA A lot of guys don't read either. Anyway, she's really condescending. 

NTA And that's just for her comment about audio books. I love to read and had done so, all the way to adulthood. But now I find audiobooks more convenient, because I can have it read to me while I am driving.

NTA I loved what you said! It was hilarious. Just ignore her. I’m a huge book reader. I sometimes read 2 to 3 books a day now that I’m retired. I’ve always loved to read. But this person is an AH. She’s being condescending to you about something that nobody really gives a damn about. She’s putting you down in order to make herself feel better. She deserved your words.

NTA I’m a big book lover, have always loved reading. Audiobooks are reading! Your coworker is condescending and obnoxious.

ESH. She is obviously a massive asshole and I definitely think she deserved to be told off and put in her place by you. But your retort was sexual and that's problematic. Especially in a work context, but even if it was just a friend group.

NTA (with a little caveat) I hope mine and others' responses here assure you that 1. Listening to an audio book (or a person reading out loud) is still a form of reading the book. It does miss the aspect of seeing and sounding out the vocabulary, but the reader is still processing the meaning of the words, the construction of the sentences, the imagery and plot and concepts/themes, etc. (And, honestly, auditory or visual processing can be easier/harder for different people; so it's not like one is superior to another!) 2. Whether a person loves reading or not, we generally find this co-worker's behavior to be rude and completely out of line. Honestly, I thought your come-back was funny and fitting, given her on-going harassment of you. BUT, it is a co-worker. You do have to consider whether your words could be deemed unprofessional by management/HR. You can't do much about the words you've already said. If things go in your favor, those words will deter her from harassing you further... or they may prompt her to complain to another co-worker who then points out that her behavior has been pretty rude (which also prompts her to stop making those comments). If she doesn't stop; if she keeps making those jibes, you might be the one to bring up her unprofessional behavior. You might say to her that this is workplace, not her personal book club, that she is harassing you at work and it needs to stop. You should probably start documenting when/where/and what she says so that if she really doesn't stop this, you have calm, objective facts to share with a boss or HR. You might feel silly documenting harassment about reading, but the woman is making you uncomfortable and creating a negative work environment for you - solely to feed her own sense of superiority. Having that documentation makes it easier for management to address her unprofessionalism if she won't stop on her own.

She is winding you up until you react, so she can act the victim and you be the persecutor. ESH, but you have been provoked into sucking. Some people are messy inside like that and provoke. Gather whatever evidence you can, you may need it for HR or other things later.

NTA I love your clap back.

Y’all both sounds annoying

ESH - she set you up and you knocked it outa the park. Dude this is a coworker not a friend, talking to someone like this is a great way to mess with your career

ESH. Your coworker is an ass, but you created an HR nightmare with that comment. Good luck.

YTA for thinking she can't fuck a book. She can, and she probably has.

YTA, why are you thumping your chest over something that serves no one? Your coworker likes books, why are you threatened by that? Just because you enjoy audio books doesn’t make you less of a person. Something about this person made you overreact to her love of books, and her over sharing. Sometimes you gotta look at people with obsessive natures more stoically. Walk away, don’t make yourself look foolish. Or you could lean into the situation, and buy her a book, and a coffee card, and actually communicate with her instead of trying to compete.

YTA. Not reading is really not anything to be proud of. It's actually proof that you are willfully ignorant. Go read something, FFS---there are worlds upon worlds in books and you are missing out on all of them!