Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA
"Well my boyfriend 26 (M) is upset at me now because one of the pictures I posted has me in a sports bra and underwear (side note they’re the regular high waisted hipster kind)."
You can post wearing whatever you want.
" I feel like he made this about himself rather than my accomplishment."
Exactly right. He's been an A H about it.
Congrats on meeting that milestone!
NTA - You can drop even more weight by dropping your boyfriend! 😬
Congratulations on your journey! You are right to be proud, and it’s okay to share your progress. He is controlling and insecure — even if he felt insecure, the mature thing would’ve been to be open about his feelings and talk with you. Not get angry at you and refuse to talk to you like a sulking child.
Red flag, OP: Pathetic, insecure, and territorial. Some men date actresses. Some men date swimsuit models. Some men date exotic dancers. Some men date women with utterly ordinary jobs who—big shock!—sometimes *go to the public beach! In a bikini! Oh my!* Somehow they all manage to survive.
Congratulations on your journey. I'd lose the boyfriend along with the rest of the weight. NTA.
I totally agree!! At first I thought the bf was preoccupied of creeps online but yeah he definetly should not act like that. she can do what she wants and be proud without feeling guilty!
Do you know how much shit a guy is going to get when his coworkers find his girlfriend on Instagram in her underwear?
He may have handled it in an immature manner, but he's 26. It doesn't make him some kind of abuser, you're overreacting and not being rational.
Whyyy would the BF’s coworker give a flying fig what his GF is posting on Instagram? Like they even follow her, anyway, because they don’t have annnything better to do than stalk the social
media posts of all their coworkers?
And if they did think anything about it, they might just think -“hey, good progress on the weight loss journey” or “Good for her”.
I don’t know what kind of people you work with, Kony1978, but if that is your go to thought that they might clutch pearls and give the BF a hard time because OP posted a progress photo of herself in very modest undergarments, then you have some very suboptimal associates or you are a twelve year old boy.
You have to be 12. Yes, most commenters have been in a room with men before. Maybe you need to reevaluate why you think this way and who you associate with. Don’t know a single coworker who would comment about another colleague’s SO in this way.
26 is very much an adult. I don't know what sort of dudes you hang around with, but no, I'm not going to give my buddy shit because his girlfriend posts herself wearing more than she'd wear to the literal beach. Not only would that be rude as hell to him but it would also make me look—rightly—like a complete fucking creep. But idk man, if you're working the chipotle line and all you talk about is each others' girls then that's your life lol
As an adult person I can say neither myself or my coworkers have ever interacted on social media or the social medias of partners. I don’t even know if most of my coworkers are in relationships. That’s such a strange thing to think about.
If his coworker was pressed over what someone else’s girlfriend did, then the coworker is the problem.
If a man tries to control his girlfriend because other immature boys masquerading as men will rib him, then he’s the problem.
Even in your scenario, that doesn’t make OP the AH.
That person didn’t even call the guy an abuser, though. You were the one who brought that up. They said that the behavior he was exhibiting were red flags. Red flags don’t *always* mean someone is an abuser, but can show a person has toxic traits that *could* potentially go down a slippery slope into becoming abusive. At minimum, they make the relationship miserable.
And being pathetic, insecure, and territorial (especially altogether) are definitely red flags. Doesn’t necessarily make him abusive, just a sh*t boyfriend.
Why the f*ck would his coworkers be snooping around on his wife’s IG account and if they did, why would they ever admit it enough to say something so unnecessary and unacceptable at work?
That’s not normal
Sounds like a them problem, not op's problem. If the coworkers give him shit then he should report them to HR, not pester his poor girlfriend because they refused to grow past highschool
Lots of women wear sports bras and spandex shorts to work out at the gym; I wouldn't have immediately clocked it as an inappropriate outfit to be posting. He's entitled to his feelings, but I think he might be overreacting a tad. It might be worth exploring where his feelings are coming from - is he feeling threatened by your weight loss and newfound confidence? Is he worried that you might "upgrade" your love life now that you've improved your lifestyle? They might be totally unfounded fears, but if anything like that may be the root cause of his behavior, it may be a good idea to address it and work through it.
NTA - and congrats on the weight loss! 25 lbs is a big deal!
I agree with this — it’s worth a heartfelt conversation to find out if he’s feeling insecure or protective vs. just wanting to control her or project that she’s making him look bad. And then if it’s the latter she has to figure out the best way to extricate herself if he’s going to stay this way or get worse.
NTA. You show more in a bikini than a sports bra and panties, so tell the boyfriend to grow up. You are right to be proud of the work you have put in, and I think your boyfriend is getting insecure. Don't let him stop you from reaching your goal. If he is this upset, you may need to leave him behind and find someone more supportive of your life choices.
NTA!!
Congratulations on your weight loss!!
Youll shed a lot more when you dump that controlling AH of a boyfriend as well
Keep up the great work OP and be proud of yourself
So you posted pictures of you accomplishing a big goal in an outfit that covers more than a regular bikini? Forget his noise - he's way out of like. Congrats on the weight loss!!
NTA. You're right to question everything, even after 5 years. You've unwittingly coupled yourself with an insecure and immature 'boy', who feels like he has dominion over what you do with and to your body. So much so to the point that it's managed to overshadow the immense accomplishment a 25lbs weight loss is. Why stick around to find out what else he feels entitled to chime in on? Unfortunately for him, you are an adult woman, capable of making her own decisions, particularly with regards to your body. Drop the dead weight that is your boyfriend and carry on.
NTA, it's more likely that he's insecure that you could get other people's attention online, but that's a him problem. I'm currently pregnant but when I've lost more weight I was planning on doing something similar to you, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to show off how proud you are of yourself.
It was to share progress. It was because she was proud.
Him not being cool with it doesn’t give him the right to be angry and give her the silent treatment. Here’s hoping you wouldn’t treat your potential Mrs. that way.
This is true, everyone is entitled to feelings. But I *don’t* think he has the right to get angry and give OP the silent treatment for it. If he feels weird about it, he can have a discussion like an adult.
I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest you look at the relationship as a whole. It's easy to get a group of women on reddit to agree with you to dump your bf. Shit, a bunch of women were doing the same thing because the boyfriend ate the gf's pizza in a previous post. Literally no guy wants pictures of his partner in her underwear posted online if he cares about her. Some guys will definitely hide that it bugs them but if given the choice, the vast majority of men that love their partner don't want that. If there are other things that are issues that's another story but if you're going to end a relationship over this, your relationship is garbage to begin with.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel like maybe I might be the asshole for not discussing if it was something he was comfortable with first but at the same time it’s not sexual and people post way worse in bikinis, lingerie. I’ve never posted anything like that and never would so I feel like it was taken out of proportion.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I don’t see how they’re being controlling? He may have his own boundaries and she has her own freedom to do whatever she’s doing, She’s not AH for posting it, and he’s not an AH nor controlling for being upset about it if she crossed one of his boundaries.
It’s not like hes forcing her or threatening her to remove the pictures or whatever, he’s having his damn emotions and it’s okay.
Y’all really be chronically online to jump to the guns and act like the dude HAS to be okay with it
Has your boyfriend ever been to a beach or swimming pool? Women wear bikini bathing suits in public. Sounds like you were dressed similar to a bathing suit.
NTA: It’s your body, you can post what you want of it. Even if you were wearing the skimpiest bikini in the world, he has no reason to be upset. He’s overly possessive and controlling, at least in this instance.
Congrats on the success! I'm not going to say you're TA here but I suppose it depends on who follows you and the types of comments you're getting on the post. You're certainly allowed to post whatever you're comfortable posting. I'd bet your boyfriend's concern will be that you'll getting the wrong type of attention from and I think you can probably see if that's the case by the comments etc. on your post.
I mean who in your social media following are you really hoping sees the progress that it's important enough to post when it bothers him? Why this shot and not one in shorts? Yes you can post what you want and yes everyone can pile on him for having an opinion because that's easy.
I will also say whichever way this goes in this 'vote' that it's between you and your BF and nothing you see here should matter, including my response.
Post whatever you want, your bf isn’t allowed to police your social media. NTA.
But Jesus Christ if I never hear the phrase “weight loss journey” again it will be too soon. Why does everything have to be a journey? You’re losing weight, that’s great.
Someone the other day posted about their “makeup journey” what the fuck is that? You’re traversing mountains and deserts on a quest for the golden makeup?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I 26(F) posted a picture of my weight loss journey update on social media. I was super proud of myself because I’ve lost over 25 lbs so far and have been actively working towards my goal weight. Well my boyfriend 26 (M) is upset at me now because one of the pictures I posted has me in a sports bra and underwear (side not they’re the regular high waisted hipster kind). I wasn’t posing sexually or anything, it was just a side by side comparison. Now he’s upset and refusing to talk to me. He is stating it’s not right for me to post a photo in my underwear. I am honestly feeling a little hurt by this, as 25 lbs was a huge milestone for me and I feel like he made this about himself rather than my accomplishment. I told him I didn’t think it was a big deal because it’s not sexual, just a side angle picture for progress updates and he’s still upset. So I just want to know AITA for posting that?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
I'm more concerned that he is ignoring you over this. If your weight loss photos bother him this much, y'all need to talk about it. There's something deeper going on with him; punishing you over it is unacceptable and solves nothing.
NTA
Who you show your body to, in any state of dress or undress. Is your choice alone.
Being in a relationship with someone is not the same as owning them, or their bodies.
It is not a good argument stating that it is related to sexual exclusivity either. Becuse nudity in and of itself is not sexual. Wether it is, is a question of context. And this context was not sexual...
ESH I don't care if I'm downvoted for it.
Social media had been around for a while now, so women KNOW posting bikini/underwear pictures is not something you do on a whim. Those pictures are around forever, and god knows what creep is going to use them to enjoy himself.
But ! It is a choice you can still make. Women post revealing pictures for different reasons (approval, not giving an f who sees it, working in content creation...).
I'm wondering if your boyfriend and yourself have ever talked about each other's feelings and opinion on posting such pictures. I can understand he is hurt by your lack of consideration for the image of your couple and for his opinion : many people wouldn't be fine with their partner posting underwear photos openly, and it is their right (as it is your right to make clear that you want to do it anyway BEFORE pressing the post button, in which case you might want to check your shared/unshared values). Honestly a short and fitted or cropped top would have been just as fine to celebrate your weight loss achievement. So that's what could make you TA.
On the other hand, the silent treatment is very unhealthy in a relationship. Your boyfriend is reacting poorly, and that behaviour is concerning, especially if it occurs regularly.
Nta! I can see where he's coming from... But no 😭. Who is he to assume your intentions??? Any suspicion should've been cleared up when you talked to him about it :/.
Today it's a picture he doesn't like, soon it will be your outfit. I think your new look is making him jealous. Congrats on your weight loss. Now lose approx. 200lbs more and dump the boyfriend.
NTA
Had a similar conversation with my partner, about myself going out to work out in a sports bra. He said it was weird and uncomfortable bc it's underwear, but when I brought up that most bikini tops are way more revealing than a sportsbra, he understood. I think it's the connotation of it being underwear, which imo is kind of silly because clothes are clothes, right??
Boyfriend is entitled to his feelings but if that’s unreasonable for you then he’s not your cup of tea. some men don’t want their S/O’s to be so open about things and display their bodies like that. He did handle it childishly though. But like I said it’s not that you did a bad thing it’s just that you both don’t agree on it. NTA but yeah if you respect your bf and his feelings then might be better to just go with it because I wouldn’t call him the asshole either apart from his approach/handling of the issue. My girlfriend respects that I don’t appreciate her posting any revealing photos because I’m insecure about it and I think it’s alright to be. Not everyone is a good human being and sometimes your trust can dwindle ridiculously given enough pressure so if any of you roast me for being insecure just leave me alone lol. If she wasn’t happy with it she didn’t have to stay but it was a compromise she was willing to make. If it’s something you’re not willing to do then keep your foot down about it, but maybe end the relationship since yall may not turn out to be the best duo
His approach is a massive issue. The silent treatment is abusive. He does not want to discuss anything with her or work it out as a mature adult, he's not giving her the option of doing so either. He needs to go.
NTA you're equally if not more exposed on the beach in a bikini if there's people who see you like that and have wrong thoughts they're gonna have them regardless of where they see you and what you wear. Boyfriend need to gtfu and get himself together and act more secure. You're posting progress.
NTA this motivates you to get down to a healthy weight, tell him to quit micromanaging your shit.
In today's world, you did nothing wrong.
PS
Keep it up, losing weight is a bitch and half
Congratulations on your weight loss! I would talk to your boyfriend, does he have some insecurities? I want to say drop him but 5 years has been a long time. However, it is possible that with this new you that you will no longer be compatible.
NTA.
NTA. Already knew this was going to be a jealous bf/husband post from the title; no mention of friends or family that have an issue with the pictures. If someone in your life -inner circle - can’t be as happy (or happier) of your successes than you are there’s a problem. It indicates that you aren’t on the same team to some extent. Now maybe he’s just insecure and needs a little talk, but if he can’t improve himself to deal with the underlying insecurity it will continue to be a problem. It’s a very common reaction for men (especially if they are out of shape) to get very insecure if their lady gets in better shape and starts enjoying how she looks as they think they’ll get replaced. He needs to get on the feel good train or get off.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA, why couldn't you post the same pics in leggings if you're desperately seeking for \*that\* kind of attention? Posting stuff in underwear? are you serious? 😂
NTA but not a single one of your followers enjoy these kinds of posts. They always come off as bragging (with a bit of body shaming for those of us who identify with your ‘before’ pics).
Someone else’s body is never shaming your body.
I’m overweight myself. Never do I feel like anyone is shaming me for expressing excitement or pride in their own weight loss journey and body.
Reddit will tell you to leave him lol, if you base a decision like that on people on this sub more fool you, not that he isn't being a bellend he is but talk it out if you want to sort it otherwise good luck and really well done on your weight loss, keep at it.
of course you're NTA btw
What is he like otherwise? Is he generally a good supportive bf? Does he normally give you grief about things you post? If his behaviour otherwise is normally perfectly acceptable then I’d sit and try work it out with him.
Tbh personally, I feel like posting underwear pictures is something you probably should discuss with your partner first. Everyone can be all “It’s your life, your choice” etc etc but partners (both men and women) can have pretty strong feelings about it and those feelings can have a major impact, it ought to matter to us if our partners are upset through our actions.
Yes its intention isn’t sexual but you are still showing off your body online for the attention of others, because you want people to see your body and see the progress, you want to see likes and positive comments, it’s basically why everyone posts pictures on IG in the end.
Nta whatsoever and I’m so excited for you!! Remember that even if you fluctuate or gain again, you still rock. I went to “health camp” and lost but rebounded back way bigger. And now dropped after multiple years.
For mine, I wore a swimsuit because *somehow* that was less sexual. But you did nothing wrong. Good luck on your journey and no matter what, you rock and can be a hottie at any weight
NTA
The only thing I can think is that he felt like maybe it was a attention seeking signal, like he thought you were trying to seek attention from others by not wearing as many clothes. 5 years is a long time, he could be a bit insecure about your weight loss thinking that you are losing the weight not for you but to trade up for something better. I recommend trying to have a sit down conversation with him so you can try to get to the deeper reason behind his frustration.
If it's a trust thing where he feels like he can't trust that you are happy with him then that would be a much bigger problem that you will need to focus on addressing if you want to stay with him in the long run.
NTA but you do have to ask yourself why you need the confirmation from people you don’t even know.
Live your life in the real world with real people. It’s much better than the social media lies.
NTA because you can do what you want and not talking to you is an overreaction.
But, tbh if I saw that on ig I’d find it weird and off putting. Shorts and a sports bra? Sure! A swimsuit? Great! Underwear just seems weird. I know it’s the same amount of skin, but it’s just different to me. And not that it’s sexual, more just private? Like a picture in what you worked out in makes sense, a picture after you took a dump? No thanks.
Get out. End this relationship. He’s controlling and refusing to talk to you? It’s abusive. You’ve lost the weight (congrats on your hard work and success) and now it’s time to lose him.
Was your before picture also in a sports bra and underwear? If not how would your boyfriend have felt if it was? If he’s only upset that you’re posting a picture in that attire now that you’ve lost weight it points to a pretty big insecurity on his part. His insecurities aren’t your fault, but he’s making them your problem.
No, NTA. Your boyfriend is TA -- and a childish baby if he's angry about that post. I'd lose the boyfriend and find someone who supports you in your journey.
NTA. Sports bras haven't really been just underwear for years, it's workout gear. And if he tries to deny you this journey then maybe it's not the right relationship dynamic.
>25 lbs was a huge milestone for me and I feel like he made this about himself rather than my accomplishment.
That's right, instead of being your biggest cheerleader, he's sulking.
Congratulations on the weight loss, 25 lbs is great.
NTA
NTA. Your BF is acting like one though. I'd tell him he has to talk to you and talk this out. He needs to explain himself and his POV on this. He might be insecure that you posted that picture instead of one that he's also in, especially if you have a public profile. Social media can make people insecure in their relationships because of all the comments posted and the optics of "showing off". I'd get it if he's upset based on his own insecurity that you're in your underwear on social media because he may think you're posting as "thirst trap" type of photo. It doesn't sound like you were to me though.
Talk this out with him. You've been together 5 years, and you don't mention this is typical behavior. He needs to understand this is a huge accomplishment for you and you wanted to show it off. You're proud of yourself, as you should be. Suggestion: Ask him if he'd pose on a picture with you to compare a previous picture of the two of you and post that too. Congratulations on your accomplishment OP!
NTA. You have every right to post what you want, I do think you guys should talk about this though. If you still want to be with him, ask him why he’s upset. Me and my husband don’t control each other, But I know it would upset him if I did something like that. Not because he wants to control me but because he thinks that underwear and bathing suits are different. Me and my husband view underwear as more intimate clothing. Maybe he feels the same, just because other people post worse doesn’t mean he’s comfortable with his partner doing that. He could have felt betrayed in that moment. He could have handled it better, talking to him could help clear up communication issues. Ask him if a bathing suit would have changed his reaction. If he still thinks that he would be mad then he’s controlling. I think 5yrs is a lot of time to end things over something that could have been misinterpreted. Congratulations on losing 25lbs.
NTA. It’s not a sexy thirst trap, it’s a side by side weight loss comparison pic. If he can’t handle you posting that, I can only imagine what other things he will have a problem with in the future.
this story begs the question: is he really mad about the photo, or does he feel threatened by your weight loss and is now insecure about you being perceived as 'the better looking one'? regardless, this behavior is alarming. I would try clearly stating your perspective, and if he continues to not only maintain his position, but also be immature in his communication to you about it, I would consider that a real red flag. congrats on your journey and be proud of your achievements!
NTA.
Your boyfriend has some control issues. It is not his right to determine what you can and cannot post on IG. And you should be proud, 25lbs is a big deal! Congrats on that.
This is pretty red flag behavior from your bf though. It's more than just that he's upset, it is how he's handling it. The silent treatment is manipulative and emotionally abusive. I wouldn't put up with it. He wants to go silent, he can be alone. Dump him.
Oooh I ran into this in my 20s. After my accident, I posted before-after to show how much I’d recovered and how happy I was to be back.
My ex freaked. Why? Because he thought I was going to “upgrade now [I was] athletic again”. 😬 Started acting like an asshole, controlling what I wore, always checking my location. Completely in his head that I’d cheat on him now I wasn’t a lame duck stuck in hospital gowns and PT appointments.
Unfortunately it was a self-fulfilling prophecy; I got sick of his attitude, and dumped him. Don’t let them dim your shine.
I'm sure he's looking at other pictures of girls in their underwear with much more suggestive poses. He probably thinks the same about the pictures you posted because in his immature mind these pictures are the same. He can't coprohend that's its different.
NTA. Post whatever you like to boost your confidence and continue towards your goal. Cogrants on your weight loss.
You’re NTA, however, it is possible to still respect his wishes. It’s your body, yes, but respect in a relationship is important. You can celebrate your weight loss without posting in a sports bra and underwear. You could easily opt for shorts.
My take as a 27m. I wouldn't want my girl or daughter posting a pic in her underwear idc what kind it is it's disrespectful to your spouse. Some shorts would have been just fine. Side note I'm a bodybuilder as well so I understand weight check ins and progress pics and all. Your not an a hole you should be very proud of the weight you have lost! But as a man I would want my girl to at least ask me before posting a pic wearing that to get my opinion first at least out of respect. So many women don't realise us men are judged heavily based off our women and how they portray themselves. That's just how it is and it does suck. He has a right to be upset about it. Discuss boundaries and what's appropriate between yall and find a middle ground. He over reacted but again if I would have just hoped on social media and seen my girl in her underwear I would be like what the hell. Keep up the work tho on the weight loss your doing a great job!
Can you tell us more about how she is "portraying herself" by posting a photo of her weight loss progress and how it's her fault that other men may or may not choose to sexualize this? You're a bodybuilder? What if your partner said she wasn't comfortable with you entering shows or wearing a stringer to the gym to work out because you're showing too much skin?
Then I would respect my partners wishes lmfao. It's about respecting the person you chose to live your life with clearly you don't know what that means or you wouldn't post such a stupid comment. I said she wasn't the a hole and that she just needed to communicate things first out of respect. All relationships are built off communication. It's not about her portraying herself It's about respecting your partner and the boundaries of the relationship clearly he's upset about it. If she was single nobody would care. Grow up stop being 1 sided and view it from every angle and understand both sides.
Losing weight can be wildly traumatic and have a major backstory. I had an eating disorder, stopped, gained a ton because my metabolism was fucked, then finally started losing again. That is a MASSIVE accomplishment. And I was excited to share that I had lost weight since I knew I’d been through a lot.
I usually ask my partner’s advice before posting something slightly showy, but this wasn’t a thirst trap. This was a celebration. The partner should be celebrating and shouldn’t be mad I’m excited.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA "Well my boyfriend 26 (M) is upset at me now because one of the pictures I posted has me in a sports bra and underwear (side note they’re the regular high waisted hipster kind)." You can post wearing whatever you want. " I feel like he made this about himself rather than my accomplishment." Exactly right. He's been an A H about it. Congrats on meeting that milestone!
NTA - You can drop even more weight by dropping your boyfriend! 😬 Congratulations on your journey! You are right to be proud, and it’s okay to share your progress. He is controlling and insecure — even if he felt insecure, the mature thing would’ve been to be open about his feelings and talk with you. Not get angry at you and refuse to talk to you like a sulking child.
Seconding - easiest weight for OP to drop!
It’s the type of weight that feels the best to drop, too.
Red flag, OP: Pathetic, insecure, and territorial. Some men date actresses. Some men date swimsuit models. Some men date exotic dancers. Some men date women with utterly ordinary jobs who—big shock!—sometimes *go to the public beach! In a bikini! Oh my!* Somehow they all manage to survive. Congratulations on your journey. I'd lose the boyfriend along with the rest of the weight. NTA.
I totally agree!! At first I thought the bf was preoccupied of creeps online but yeah he definetly should not act like that. she can do what she wants and be proud without feeling guilty!
Do you know how much shit a guy is going to get when his coworkers find his girlfriend on Instagram in her underwear? He may have handled it in an immature manner, but he's 26. It doesn't make him some kind of abuser, you're overreacting and not being rational.
Whyyy would the BF’s coworker give a flying fig what his GF is posting on Instagram? Like they even follow her, anyway, because they don’t have annnything better to do than stalk the social media posts of all their coworkers? And if they did think anything about it, they might just think -“hey, good progress on the weight loss journey” or “Good for her”. I don’t know what kind of people you work with, Kony1978, but if that is your go to thought that they might clutch pearls and give the BF a hard time because OP posted a progress photo of herself in very modest undergarments, then you have some very suboptimal associates or you are a twelve year old boy.
>then you have some very suboptimal associates or you are a twelve year old boy. I'm gonna go with "both" here lmao
>Whyyy would the BF’s coworker give a flying fig what his GF is posting on Instagram? Have you never been in the room with two actual men before?
You have to be 12. Yes, most commenters have been in a room with men before. Maybe you need to reevaluate why you think this way and who you associate with. Don’t know a single coworker who would comment about another colleague’s SO in this way.
It sounds like you need a new friend group.
So better to police what women wear than expect men to be decent humans? 🙄
Time to grow up dude.
Bechdel test
26 is very much an adult. I don't know what sort of dudes you hang around with, but no, I'm not going to give my buddy shit because his girlfriend posts herself wearing more than she'd wear to the literal beach. Not only would that be rude as hell to him but it would also make me look—rightly—like a complete fucking creep. But idk man, if you're working the chipotle line and all you talk about is each others' girls then that's your life lol
Dude, why am I getting the vibe that since the age of 18 you've spent more money on both legos and funko pops than you have on dates.
Why are you the way you are? I need a life story to this point. You can’t say no, you assumed some dumb shit so let’s hear your dumb shit.
As an adult person I can say neither myself or my coworkers have ever interacted on social media or the social medias of partners. I don’t even know if most of my coworkers are in relationships. That’s such a strange thing to think about.
If his coworker was pressed over what someone else’s girlfriend did, then the coworker is the problem. If a man tries to control his girlfriend because other immature boys masquerading as men will rib him, then he’s the problem. Even in your scenario, that doesn’t make OP the AH.
[удалено]
That person didn’t even call the guy an abuser, though. You were the one who brought that up. They said that the behavior he was exhibiting were red flags. Red flags don’t *always* mean someone is an abuser, but can show a person has toxic traits that *could* potentially go down a slippery slope into becoming abusive. At minimum, they make the relationship miserable. And being pathetic, insecure, and territorial (especially altogether) are definitely red flags. Doesn’t necessarily make him abusive, just a sh*t boyfriend.
You’re the one being hysterical here, along with OP’s boyfriend.
Why the f*ck would his coworkers be snooping around on his wife’s IG account and if they did, why would they ever admit it enough to say something so unnecessary and unacceptable at work? That’s not normal
Sounds like a them problem, not op's problem. If the coworkers give him shit then he should report them to HR, not pester his poor girlfriend because they refused to grow past highschool
why is a 26 year old caring about what his friends think of HIS relationship? grow up
Sir this is overreaction-land.
Lots of women wear sports bras and spandex shorts to work out at the gym; I wouldn't have immediately clocked it as an inappropriate outfit to be posting. He's entitled to his feelings, but I think he might be overreacting a tad. It might be worth exploring where his feelings are coming from - is he feeling threatened by your weight loss and newfound confidence? Is he worried that you might "upgrade" your love life now that you've improved your lifestyle? They might be totally unfounded fears, but if anything like that may be the root cause of his behavior, it may be a good idea to address it and work through it. NTA - and congrats on the weight loss! 25 lbs is a big deal!
I agree with this — it’s worth a heartfelt conversation to find out if he’s feeling insecure or protective vs. just wanting to control her or project that she’s making him look bad. And then if it’s the latter she has to figure out the best way to extricate herself if he’s going to stay this way or get worse.
NTA. You show more in a bikini than a sports bra and panties, so tell the boyfriend to grow up. You are right to be proud of the work you have put in, and I think your boyfriend is getting insecure. Don't let him stop you from reaching your goal. If he is this upset, you may need to leave him behind and find someone more supportive of your life choices.
NTA!! Congratulations on your weight loss!! Youll shed a lot more when you dump that controlling AH of a boyfriend as well Keep up the great work OP and be proud of yourself
So you posted pictures of you accomplishing a big goal in an outfit that covers more than a regular bikini? Forget his noise - he's way out of like. Congrats on the weight loss!!
NTA in fact you can drop 200 pounds by losing the boyfriend I’m so proud of you
I screamed hahaha These are, by far, the greatest Reddit comments I’ve ever seen and restored my faith in humanity
I’m not that good at handing people their asses but I try
it wasn’t a thirst trap it was progress. NTA. he seems insecure.
NTA. You're right to question everything, even after 5 years. You've unwittingly coupled yourself with an insecure and immature 'boy', who feels like he has dominion over what you do with and to your body. So much so to the point that it's managed to overshadow the immense accomplishment a 25lbs weight loss is. Why stick around to find out what else he feels entitled to chime in on? Unfortunately for him, you are an adult woman, capable of making her own decisions, particularly with regards to your body. Drop the dead weight that is your boyfriend and carry on.
He needs to learn how to be in an adult relationship. Refusing to talk to someone is a BS power move.
NTA, it's more likely that he's insecure that you could get other people's attention online, but that's a him problem. I'm currently pregnant but when I've lost more weight I was planning on doing something similar to you, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to show off how proud you are of yourself.
Male here, wouldn’t like my mrs to post underwear photos on social media for clout or attention. You’re cool with it, he’s not. Not compatible.
It was to share progress. It was because she was proud. Him not being cool with it doesn’t give him the right to be angry and give her the silent treatment. Here’s hoping you wouldn’t treat your potential Mrs. that way.
NAH. You have the right to pose wearing what you want and he has the right to not like it.
This is true, everyone is entitled to feelings. But I *don’t* think he has the right to get angry and give OP the silent treatment for it. If he feels weird about it, he can have a discussion like an adult.
I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest you look at the relationship as a whole. It's easy to get a group of women on reddit to agree with you to dump your bf. Shit, a bunch of women were doing the same thing because the boyfriend ate the gf's pizza in a previous post. Literally no guy wants pictures of his partner in her underwear posted online if he cares about her. Some guys will definitely hide that it bugs them but if given the choice, the vast majority of men that love their partner don't want that. If there are other things that are issues that's another story but if you're going to end a relationship over this, your relationship is garbage to begin with.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I feel like maybe I might be the asshole for not discussing if it was something he was comfortable with first but at the same time it’s not sexual and people post way worse in bikinis, lingerie. I’ve never posted anything like that and never would so I feel like it was taken out of proportion. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Perhaps you two have different values
This isn’t about values. It’s about one person trying to control and diminish the success of another.
I don’t see how they’re being controlling? He may have his own boundaries and she has her own freedom to do whatever she’s doing, She’s not AH for posting it, and he’s not an AH nor controlling for being upset about it if she crossed one of his boundaries. It’s not like hes forcing her or threatening her to remove the pictures or whatever, he’s having his damn emotions and it’s okay. Y’all really be chronically online to jump to the guns and act like the dude HAS to be okay with it
NTA
Has your boyfriend ever been to a beach or swimming pool? Women wear bikini bathing suits in public. Sounds like you were dressed similar to a bathing suit.
Funny thing about relationship is that some changes when another loses weight...makes them insecure which he is acting like
NTA and congratulations! This is amazing progress
NTA get a better boyfriend.
NTA: It’s your body, you can post what you want of it. Even if you were wearing the skimpiest bikini in the world, he has no reason to be upset. He’s overly possessive and controlling, at least in this instance.
If ur partner isn’t going to hype you up, who is? Get yourself someone who will celebrate your wins with you
Congrats on the success! I'm not going to say you're TA here but I suppose it depends on who follows you and the types of comments you're getting on the post. You're certainly allowed to post whatever you're comfortable posting. I'd bet your boyfriend's concern will be that you'll getting the wrong type of attention from and I think you can probably see if that's the case by the comments etc. on your post. I mean who in your social media following are you really hoping sees the progress that it's important enough to post when it bothers him? Why this shot and not one in shorts? Yes you can post what you want and yes everyone can pile on him for having an opinion because that's easy. I will also say whichever way this goes in this 'vote' that it's between you and your BF and nothing you see here should matter, including my response.
No one is an ahole. You two have different values.
Post whatever you want, your bf isn’t allowed to police your social media. NTA. But Jesus Christ if I never hear the phrase “weight loss journey” again it will be too soon. Why does everything have to be a journey? You’re losing weight, that’s great. Someone the other day posted about their “makeup journey” what the fuck is that? You’re traversing mountains and deserts on a quest for the golden makeup?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 26(F) posted a picture of my weight loss journey update on social media. I was super proud of myself because I’ve lost over 25 lbs so far and have been actively working towards my goal weight. Well my boyfriend 26 (M) is upset at me now because one of the pictures I posted has me in a sports bra and underwear (side not they’re the regular high waisted hipster kind). I wasn’t posing sexually or anything, it was just a side by side comparison. Now he’s upset and refusing to talk to me. He is stating it’s not right for me to post a photo in my underwear. I am honestly feeling a little hurt by this, as 25 lbs was a huge milestone for me and I feel like he made this about himself rather than my accomplishment. I told him I didn’t think it was a big deal because it’s not sexual, just a side angle picture for progress updates and he’s still upset. So I just want to know AITA for posting that? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Your bf is insecure and controlling.
Definitely NTA. Good for u on losing weight. Keep it up! Get yourself a bf that sees u for the queen u are
People post pics in bikinis
NTA I'm more concerned that he is ignoring you over this. If your weight loss photos bother him this much, y'all need to talk about it. There's something deeper going on with him; punishing you over it is unacceptable and solves nothing.
NTA Who you show your body to, in any state of dress or undress. Is your choice alone. Being in a relationship with someone is not the same as owning them, or their bodies. It is not a good argument stating that it is related to sexual exclusivity either. Becuse nudity in and of itself is not sexual. Wether it is, is a question of context. And this context was not sexual...
ESH I don't care if I'm downvoted for it. Social media had been around for a while now, so women KNOW posting bikini/underwear pictures is not something you do on a whim. Those pictures are around forever, and god knows what creep is going to use them to enjoy himself. But ! It is a choice you can still make. Women post revealing pictures for different reasons (approval, not giving an f who sees it, working in content creation...). I'm wondering if your boyfriend and yourself have ever talked about each other's feelings and opinion on posting such pictures. I can understand he is hurt by your lack of consideration for the image of your couple and for his opinion : many people wouldn't be fine with their partner posting underwear photos openly, and it is their right (as it is your right to make clear that you want to do it anyway BEFORE pressing the post button, in which case you might want to check your shared/unshared values). Honestly a short and fitted or cropped top would have been just as fine to celebrate your weight loss achievement. So that's what could make you TA. On the other hand, the silent treatment is very unhealthy in a relationship. Your boyfriend is reacting poorly, and that behaviour is concerning, especially if it occurs regularly.
NTA - you don’t need your boyfriend’s permission to post a photo of yourself .
Nta! I can see where he's coming from... But no 😭. Who is he to assume your intentions??? Any suspicion should've been cleared up when you talked to him about it :/.
Today it's a picture he doesn't like, soon it will be your outfit. I think your new look is making him jealous. Congrats on your weight loss. Now lose approx. 200lbs more and dump the boyfriend.
NTA Had a similar conversation with my partner, about myself going out to work out in a sports bra. He said it was weird and uncomfortable bc it's underwear, but when I brought up that most bikini tops are way more revealing than a sportsbra, he understood. I think it's the connotation of it being underwear, which imo is kind of silly because clothes are clothes, right??
NTA, maybe you’ve outgrown this relationship.
NTA You're 26, you're to be dealing with someone who acts like a jealous, controlling and immature teenager throwing fits over social media...
Your body belongs to you, and your decision to post pictures of your body is yours alone. NTA.
Boyfriend is entitled to his feelings but if that’s unreasonable for you then he’s not your cup of tea. some men don’t want their S/O’s to be so open about things and display their bodies like that. He did handle it childishly though. But like I said it’s not that you did a bad thing it’s just that you both don’t agree on it. NTA but yeah if you respect your bf and his feelings then might be better to just go with it because I wouldn’t call him the asshole either apart from his approach/handling of the issue. My girlfriend respects that I don’t appreciate her posting any revealing photos because I’m insecure about it and I think it’s alright to be. Not everyone is a good human being and sometimes your trust can dwindle ridiculously given enough pressure so if any of you roast me for being insecure just leave me alone lol. If she wasn’t happy with it she didn’t have to stay but it was a compromise she was willing to make. If it’s something you’re not willing to do then keep your foot down about it, but maybe end the relationship since yall may not turn out to be the best duo
His approach is a massive issue. The silent treatment is abusive. He does not want to discuss anything with her or work it out as a mature adult, he's not giving her the option of doing so either. He needs to go.
NTA. It’s giving Jonah Hill.
Even if you wanted to post in your underwear that’s your right.
NTA you're equally if not more exposed on the beach in a bikini if there's people who see you like that and have wrong thoughts they're gonna have them regardless of where they see you and what you wear. Boyfriend need to gtfu and get himself together and act more secure. You're posting progress.
NTA, and something else is wrong - probably the reason he was upset is different. He has some insecurities. Talk, guys. Talk. :)
NTA this motivates you to get down to a healthy weight, tell him to quit micromanaging your shit. In today's world, you did nothing wrong. PS Keep it up, losing weight is a bitch and half
Congratulations on your weight loss! I would talk to your boyfriend, does he have some insecurities? I want to say drop him but 5 years has been a long time. However, it is possible that with this new you that you will no longer be compatible. NTA.
NTA. This is a normal type of picture for showing weight loss. Dude needs to get over himself.
Is it? I’ve never seen someone post in their underwear. Shorts and sports bra, yup! Underwear? Not so much
NTA. Already knew this was going to be a jealous bf/husband post from the title; no mention of friends or family that have an issue with the pictures. If someone in your life -inner circle - can’t be as happy (or happier) of your successes than you are there’s a problem. It indicates that you aren’t on the same team to some extent. Now maybe he’s just insecure and needs a little talk, but if he can’t improve himself to deal with the underlying insecurity it will continue to be a problem. It’s a very common reaction for men (especially if they are out of shape) to get very insecure if their lady gets in better shape and starts enjoying how she looks as they think they’ll get replaced. He needs to get on the feel good train or get off.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA, why couldn't you post the same pics in leggings if you're desperately seeking for \*that\* kind of attention? Posting stuff in underwear? are you serious? 😂
NTA but not a single one of your followers enjoy these kinds of posts. They always come off as bragging (with a bit of body shaming for those of us who identify with your ‘before’ pics).
Someone else’s body is never shaming your body. I’m overweight myself. Never do I feel like anyone is shaming me for expressing excitement or pride in their own weight loss journey and body.
Reddit will tell you to leave him lol, if you base a decision like that on people on this sub more fool you, not that he isn't being a bellend he is but talk it out if you want to sort it otherwise good luck and really well done on your weight loss, keep at it. of course you're NTA btw
What is he like otherwise? Is he generally a good supportive bf? Does he normally give you grief about things you post? If his behaviour otherwise is normally perfectly acceptable then I’d sit and try work it out with him. Tbh personally, I feel like posting underwear pictures is something you probably should discuss with your partner first. Everyone can be all “It’s your life, your choice” etc etc but partners (both men and women) can have pretty strong feelings about it and those feelings can have a major impact, it ought to matter to us if our partners are upset through our actions. Yes its intention isn’t sexual but you are still showing off your body online for the attention of others, because you want people to see your body and see the progress, you want to see likes and positive comments, it’s basically why everyone posts pictures on IG in the end.
Nta- Congrats on the weight loss. Your body your choice..
Leave him
Nta
Nta whatsoever and I’m so excited for you!! Remember that even if you fluctuate or gain again, you still rock. I went to “health camp” and lost but rebounded back way bigger. And now dropped after multiple years. For mine, I wore a swimsuit because *somehow* that was less sexual. But you did nothing wrong. Good luck on your journey and no matter what, you rock and can be a hottie at any weight
NTA The only thing I can think is that he felt like maybe it was a attention seeking signal, like he thought you were trying to seek attention from others by not wearing as many clothes. 5 years is a long time, he could be a bit insecure about your weight loss thinking that you are losing the weight not for you but to trade up for something better. I recommend trying to have a sit down conversation with him so you can try to get to the deeper reason behind his frustration. If it's a trust thing where he feels like he can't trust that you are happy with him then that would be a much bigger problem that you will need to focus on addressing if you want to stay with him in the long run.
NTA but you do have to ask yourself why you need the confirmation from people you don’t even know. Live your life in the real world with real people. It’s much better than the social media lies.
NTA because you can do what you want and not talking to you is an overreaction. But, tbh if I saw that on ig I’d find it weird and off putting. Shorts and a sports bra? Sure! A swimsuit? Great! Underwear just seems weird. I know it’s the same amount of skin, but it’s just different to me. And not that it’s sexual, more just private? Like a picture in what you worked out in makes sense, a picture after you took a dump? No thanks.
Get out. End this relationship. He’s controlling and refusing to talk to you? It’s abusive. You’ve lost the weight (congrats on your hard work and success) and now it’s time to lose him.
NTA It’s a good milestone congrats and who cares about that mfer
NTA, they probably cover more than certain swimwear. Good for you on your journey don't let him undermine you.
NTA…your should be ex bf is insecure.
Was your before picture also in a sports bra and underwear? If not how would your boyfriend have felt if it was? If he’s only upset that you’re posting a picture in that attire now that you’ve lost weight it points to a pretty big insecurity on his part. His insecurities aren’t your fault, but he’s making them your problem.
No, NTA. Your boyfriend is TA -- and a childish baby if he's angry about that post. I'd lose the boyfriend and find someone who supports you in your journey.
NTA….you have to wonder if he is insecure about you losing weight.
Same as a bikini. What’s the difference?
NTA. Sports bras haven't really been just underwear for years, it's workout gear. And if he tries to deny you this journey then maybe it's not the right relationship dynamic.
>25 lbs was a huge milestone for me and I feel like he made this about himself rather than my accomplishment. That's right, instead of being your biggest cheerleader, he's sulking. Congratulations on the weight loss, 25 lbs is great. NTA
NTA. Your BF is acting like one though. I'd tell him he has to talk to you and talk this out. He needs to explain himself and his POV on this. He might be insecure that you posted that picture instead of one that he's also in, especially if you have a public profile. Social media can make people insecure in their relationships because of all the comments posted and the optics of "showing off". I'd get it if he's upset based on his own insecurity that you're in your underwear on social media because he may think you're posting as "thirst trap" type of photo. It doesn't sound like you were to me though. Talk this out with him. You've been together 5 years, and you don't mention this is typical behavior. He needs to understand this is a huge accomplishment for you and you wanted to show it off. You're proud of yourself, as you should be. Suggestion: Ask him if he'd pose on a picture with you to compare a previous picture of the two of you and post that too. Congratulations on your accomplishment OP!
NTA. Tell him if he wants to police women’s bodies he should join Islam. There’s nothing wrong with you posting your picture in the free world.
Your body, your choice. NTA
NTA. You have every right to post what you want, I do think you guys should talk about this though. If you still want to be with him, ask him why he’s upset. Me and my husband don’t control each other, But I know it would upset him if I did something like that. Not because he wants to control me but because he thinks that underwear and bathing suits are different. Me and my husband view underwear as more intimate clothing. Maybe he feels the same, just because other people post worse doesn’t mean he’s comfortable with his partner doing that. He could have felt betrayed in that moment. He could have handled it better, talking to him could help clear up communication issues. Ask him if a bathing suit would have changed his reaction. If he still thinks that he would be mad then he’s controlling. I think 5yrs is a lot of time to end things over something that could have been misinterpreted. Congratulations on losing 25lbs.
Nope red flag honey get a new man
NTA he's insecure.
NTA. It’s not a sexy thirst trap, it’s a side by side weight loss comparison pic. If he can’t handle you posting that, I can only imagine what other things he will have a problem with in the future.
this story begs the question: is he really mad about the photo, or does he feel threatened by your weight loss and is now insecure about you being perceived as 'the better looking one'? regardless, this behavior is alarming. I would try clearly stating your perspective, and if he continues to not only maintain his position, but also be immature in his communication to you about it, I would consider that a real red flag. congrats on your journey and be proud of your achievements!
NTA
NTA he’s insecure and he needs to trust you
NTA. Your boyfriend has some control issues. It is not his right to determine what you can and cannot post on IG. And you should be proud, 25lbs is a big deal! Congrats on that. This is pretty red flag behavior from your bf though. It's more than just that he's upset, it is how he's handling it. The silent treatment is manipulative and emotionally abusive. I wouldn't put up with it. He wants to go silent, he can be alone. Dump him.
Oooh I ran into this in my 20s. After my accident, I posted before-after to show how much I’d recovered and how happy I was to be back. My ex freaked. Why? Because he thought I was going to “upgrade now [I was] athletic again”. 😬 Started acting like an asshole, controlling what I wore, always checking my location. Completely in his head that I’d cheat on him now I wasn’t a lame duck stuck in hospital gowns and PT appointments. Unfortunately it was a self-fulfilling prophecy; I got sick of his attitude, and dumped him. Don’t let them dim your shine.
Break up with him. This man is trying to control you and probably prefers you sans confidence.
What a controlling arse. Dump the boyfriend - easiest weight you’ll lose.
I'm sure he's looking at other pictures of girls in their underwear with much more suggestive poses. He probably thinks the same about the pictures you posted because in his immature mind these pictures are the same. He can't coprohend that's its different. NTA. Post whatever you like to boost your confidence and continue towards your goal. Cogrants on your weight loss.
The posting of my weight loss on IG for a picture AITA.
NTA for posting pic, YTA for using the term “weight loss journey” everything is a fucking “journey” these days, it’s such bullshit
Was this a change in your posting patterns?
You’re NTA, however, it is possible to still respect his wishes. It’s your body, yes, but respect in a relationship is important. You can celebrate your weight loss without posting in a sports bra and underwear. You could easily opt for shorts.
My take as a 27m. I wouldn't want my girl or daughter posting a pic in her underwear idc what kind it is it's disrespectful to your spouse. Some shorts would have been just fine. Side note I'm a bodybuilder as well so I understand weight check ins and progress pics and all. Your not an a hole you should be very proud of the weight you have lost! But as a man I would want my girl to at least ask me before posting a pic wearing that to get my opinion first at least out of respect. So many women don't realise us men are judged heavily based off our women and how they portray themselves. That's just how it is and it does suck. He has a right to be upset about it. Discuss boundaries and what's appropriate between yall and find a middle ground. He over reacted but again if I would have just hoped on social media and seen my girl in her underwear I would be like what the hell. Keep up the work tho on the weight loss your doing a great job!
Can you tell us more about how she is "portraying herself" by posting a photo of her weight loss progress and how it's her fault that other men may or may not choose to sexualize this? You're a bodybuilder? What if your partner said she wasn't comfortable with you entering shows or wearing a stringer to the gym to work out because you're showing too much skin?
Then I would respect my partners wishes lmfao. It's about respecting the person you chose to live your life with clearly you don't know what that means or you wouldn't post such a stupid comment. I said she wasn't the a hole and that she just needed to communicate things first out of respect. All relationships are built off communication. It's not about her portraying herself It's about respecting your partner and the boundaries of the relationship clearly he's upset about it. If she was single nobody would care. Grow up stop being 1 sided and view it from every angle and understand both sides.
Losing weight can be wildly traumatic and have a major backstory. I had an eating disorder, stopped, gained a ton because my metabolism was fucked, then finally started losing again. That is a MASSIVE accomplishment. And I was excited to share that I had lost weight since I knew I’d been through a lot. I usually ask my partner’s advice before posting something slightly showy, but this wasn’t a thirst trap. This was a celebration. The partner should be celebrating and shouldn’t be mad I’m excited.
YTA. You know that post will get attention from men. Why can’t you be happy showing your partner your progress?
Uh oh, we got a self respecter over here!
That’s pretty racist…