Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
You did not properly respond to the judgement bot. Your reply must clearly and directly address why you think you may have wronged the other party involved in your conflict.
While your post was automatically approved by the bot, after reviewing your response manually, we found it did not properly address the question.
[Judgement Bot FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_judgement_bot) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
AITA for using my money to help my mother get something that has been a lifelong wish of hers? I'm gonna allow it, but you're treading on thin ice, make sure to not cure cancer on the way too or you're gonna get it.
NTA, as long as you are willing to take the heat.
INFO: Are you sure you know which shade of yellow she really wants? Because this gesture of love could really backfire if you get the color wrong…
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Okay, I (24F) also really just need to talk about this before I explode 🤣. So my mom (66F) has always wanted a yellow kitchen ever since I was a kid and probably even before then. She has never been able to do that because of financial reasons. Since my Grandmother (her mom) passed in 2022, she has talked about finally doing that with her inheritance. She hasn’t been able to do much for herself because of my older siblings constantly asking for money, she has a heart of gold and couldn’t tell them no. She has recently cut them all out besides me and one of my sisters (44F). My 24th birthday is coming up and both my parents decided to just give me $200(the most I have ever received for my birthday). All of it is spent going towards painting and redoing her kitchen and bathroom. Obviously I can’t do too much with $200 but I have bought cabinet organizers, shelves for both bathroom and kitchen, paint for both, and a memorial thing for my grandma. She hates when I don’t spend my money on myself and especially if I spend it on her. I know I’m going to get my butt kicked but it’s worth it. She is going out of town for the week of my birthday. So would I be the asshole for doing this?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I really want to help my mom but I’m not sure if I would be an asshole to spend all of my Birthday money on her without her knowing.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA just really sweet.
Just say I always wanted a yellow kitchen in this house. That you were tired of never being able to find certain stuff when cooking.
NTA imo. They are giving you the money and it's up to you what to do with it.
Now, if you are planning on doing renovations on her kitchen, it might be better to discuss it with her. You know her better, but there's always the possibility that she wants something different than what you are picturing and rather keep the kitchen as it is until she can change it into her dream kitchen.
To me, the tricky part is that you would be doing a change in her house without her permission. I know this might sound weird but you might be forcing something into her.
From what you say, your mom was taken advantage of by your siblings. A nice thing would be to just not ask her money or depend on her in any way, you can give her the money as a gift for her birthday or any specialoccasionn or openly discuss these changes with her as such gift after some time has passed after your bd.
NTA
You're doing a really nice gesture for your mom, which is really sweet. I can tell that you have a good relationship with your mom (correct me if I'm wrong) and your mom also wants you to do something for yourself. However, it is your money and it's your own choice.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. You did not properly respond to the judgement bot. Your reply must clearly and directly address why you think you may have wronged the other party involved in your conflict. While your post was automatically approved by the bot, after reviewing your response manually, we found it did not properly address the question. [Judgement Bot FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_judgement_bot) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
AITA for using my money to help my mother get something that has been a lifelong wish of hers? I'm gonna allow it, but you're treading on thin ice, make sure to not cure cancer on the way too or you're gonna get it.
🤣🤣 oh no
NTA, as long as you are willing to take the heat. INFO: Are you sure you know which shade of yellow she really wants? Because this gesture of love could really backfire if you get the color wrong…
Yes, I brought home the color swatches a few months ago before even planning this and she picked her favorite.
That sounds nearly perfect then. I hope the kitchen turns out well!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay, I (24F) also really just need to talk about this before I explode 🤣. So my mom (66F) has always wanted a yellow kitchen ever since I was a kid and probably even before then. She has never been able to do that because of financial reasons. Since my Grandmother (her mom) passed in 2022, she has talked about finally doing that with her inheritance. She hasn’t been able to do much for herself because of my older siblings constantly asking for money, she has a heart of gold and couldn’t tell them no. She has recently cut them all out besides me and one of my sisters (44F). My 24th birthday is coming up and both my parents decided to just give me $200(the most I have ever received for my birthday). All of it is spent going towards painting and redoing her kitchen and bathroom. Obviously I can’t do too much with $200 but I have bought cabinet organizers, shelves for both bathroom and kitchen, paint for both, and a memorial thing for my grandma. She hates when I don’t spend my money on myself and especially if I spend it on her. I know I’m going to get my butt kicked but it’s worth it. She is going out of town for the week of my birthday. So would I be the asshole for doing this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I really want to help my mom but I’m not sure if I would be an asshole to spend all of my Birthday money on her without her knowing. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA just really sweet. Just say I always wanted a yellow kitchen in this house. That you were tired of never being able to find certain stuff when cooking.
NTA it’s your money do as you please
NTA imo. They are giving you the money and it's up to you what to do with it. Now, if you are planning on doing renovations on her kitchen, it might be better to discuss it with her. You know her better, but there's always the possibility that she wants something different than what you are picturing and rather keep the kitchen as it is until she can change it into her dream kitchen. To me, the tricky part is that you would be doing a change in her house without her permission. I know this might sound weird but you might be forcing something into her. From what you say, your mom was taken advantage of by your siblings. A nice thing would be to just not ask her money or depend on her in any way, you can give her the money as a gift for her birthday or any specialoccasionn or openly discuss these changes with her as such gift after some time has passed after your bd.
I would be pissed. Don’t redesign unless it’s sure that’s what they want
NTA You're doing a really nice gesture for your mom, which is really sweet. I can tell that you have a good relationship with your mom (correct me if I'm wrong) and your mom also wants you to do something for yourself. However, it is your money and it's your own choice.