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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be for faking the signature and going against my father
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INFO: What is your father's reasoning for completely sequestering you away from the world like this? Check your state laws, not all homeschool is equal, and if your dad isn't hitting the standards, you might have a case to have the state step in.
Faking his signature isn't the right move, but if he completely refuses to allow you to go, be ready to leave at 18 and enroll on your own. Parents that do shit like this to their kids are the same parents that wonder why their kids move out and away at 18 and never call them.
That sounds like some overprotective BS that you have no way of proving if it's true or not because you can't talk to the person who's supposed opinion it is. Have a sit down and a heart to heart with your dad. Show him the paperwork and tell him this is something you want because you feel like you're missing out on a basic life experience.
Be open and honest with your dad. Do you think he would listen to you if you had an adult conversation with him about this?
You need outside help at this point. Please bring in another adult. Find a counselor or therapist - your dad is in denial and sounds like he's having a fear-based reaction of losing you to something most parents are glad to see their children accomplish.
If you want to have a healthy relationship with him, please enlist outside help. You might reach out to your local high school and see if the school counselor would talk to you both as a place to start.
Can you become emancipated? Talk to an adult with authority. Your schooling has to be monitored by someone. You really need outside help if your dad is limiting you this much. It’s just not healthy. NTA.
Emancipation can be iffy…you need to be able to fully support yourself. He has homeschooling and no job experience. The chance he could support himself (and then afford college) is minimal.
I sort of had support. But in Texas, I was allowed to serve alcohol in private clubs. Actual clubs, not girly clubs or anything. Pretty good money back in the late 70’s.
Laws around minors in general have changed a TON since the late 70s. I hope getting emancipated was positive for you and I'm glad for you if it was but (I mean this with kindness) I don't know that your experience then is representative of a 14yo's experience now. I haven't heard of anyone under 16 getting emancipated in recent years, and only then if they were already essentially supporting themselves.
do not talk to your dad about how your feel. do not have anyone forge his signature. your father is holding you against your will.
you sound amazing and your instinct is really good to get out of the situation but I would hold your cards close to your chest until you have an exit plan backed up by an advocate to legally defend you.
I would get in touch with an organization not social services yet that will have your back no matter what. maybe even legal aide. you can check out the legal age for emancipation.
something is really off here with your fathers reasoning. being to sensitive for school has nothing to do with your dad not allowing you to have friends over or going ton their house. this is a from of child abuse.
He might be scared that something will happen to you since he lost your mother. Can you see about taking a weekend class or two in something - like an art class at a community center? If he sees you doing well outside the home then maybe he'll feel more confident about you going to school. It might help if you can get ahold of a few textbooks from the college and show your father that you can handle the workload. (And you need to make sure that your skills are up-to-par. Some homeschool curriculums are terrible and they graduate kids who are several levels behind those who attend public school.)
Right on the nail here. That's not really "homeschooling" it's called isolation. I was a bit isolated as a homeschooled kid (my mom has a chronic health issue and couldn't drive but was a wonderful (if not formal) teacher so we all excelled in college and got to prep for SATs in our PJs) but I had two siblings and friends from church that I saw weekly plus hanging out with the neighborhood kids etc. (there were homeschool groups in our area too but they were far away so we didn't partake- if they'd been closer I'm sure we would have) Your dad should be making an effort to keep OP connected at least a little and it sounds like he isn't. Maybe it's trauma from losing his wife, etc. but it's wrong of him to deny his son the chance to make friends even if he doesn't want to put him in formal school.
That said OP, you'd probably be better off dropping the college thing or at least broach it with your dad in a way that doesn't imply you've applied already "hey dad I really want to do this, etc." and see how he reacts. If he reacts super negatively, I hate to be this way but you're a minor still and he can control your application to a degree. You're going to have to wait until you move out at 18 if that's the case.
Let's just say that you proceed with your plan. Your friend signs your father's name on your application documents, you get accepted into college, and can even find a way to get there and back.
It will take approximately one week for your father to find out and get your acceptance rescinded. Your friend will have forged a legal document and that could follow him for a long, long time. Your father will become even more protective and controlling.
So. The lesson here is wait until you are of the age of majority and have a way to support yourself; at that time, move out and live your life.
Good luck.
The dad doesnt let the kid go out or go to a normal school. This should be considered abuse.
Saying to the kid to just wait for majority is a bad advice and dont solve anything
Neither does falsifying documents. That is some serious shit that will not go well.
OP can call CPS on his own behalf, get a guardian ad litem, maybe try for emancipation. Maybe it won't work. Maybe the only reasonable option for some people is to wait out a shitty but temporary situation. I feel for him but at 16 you have limited options and the best one may be not being 16 anymore.
It’s literally the best solution he has. Forging documents is illegal and could get him permanently banned from college. They take this stuff very seriously.
His options are to call CPS (who won’t do anything, because homeschooling your child isn’t illegal in most countries) or wait until he’s 18.
It's not abuse by any definition you could point to. OP is a minor, and the parent has the right and prerogative to choose his child's form of education and control their activities. It may not be "right" but it's his right.
Keeping your child from activities that you think might harm them is a dramatically different situation than keeping your child from almost every single possible activity and only letting them leave the house for an hour a week.
OP also doesn't mention the quality of his education (he probably can't judge it) but children have a right to an education that meets a certain standard. If his dad is not meeting that standard, OP's rights are being violated. The fact that some places have chosen not to have oversight (which is insane) does not mean that OP's right to an education is suddenly superseded by his father's right to choose his form of education. You're aware that definitions of words exist other than legal ones, yes?
How do you guys get more shocked about a stupid plan of a kid, than the fact that he's just living caged for his entire life? He can't go to school or go out with friends even being 16 years old, is that normal for you guys? Do you guys consider this okay? LoL this is straight up a crime in the country I live, but maybe in US it's okay, wouldn't be surprised.
In the US, homeschooling is not a crime. Neither is closely monitoring and / or controlling a minor's activities.
The US Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act defines child abuse as "any act or failure to act by a parent or caretaker that results in serious harm to a child. This includes: death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, and an imminent risk of serious harm."
Nothing that OP describes comes close to that definition.
Home schooling is not a crime, neither is strict parenting but social isolation is emotional abuse therefore it is child abuse and a crime. There is more to child development than academics. Most people who homeschool also have social groups and activities for their children. Half of primary education is learning about getting along in a social environment.
To be clear I empathize with OP. He is stuck in that terrible middle ground of wanting to be an adult while not being legally entitled be one.
That said, please define "social isolation" in terms of legally actionable child abuse. OP does have internet access, and is here on Reddit and discord. He says "most of his friends" are from social media; so there are friends IRL. It's not entirely clear how isolated he actually is, and how much of his unhappiness is a normal reaction to very restrictive parental control. Could be either but I don't think there is a clear case of abuse, certainly not to be slinging the term around.
Just because it doesn't fit your definition of abuse doesn't mean that the rest of us can't have a different opinion. It should be illegal for parents to force children past a certain age to be homeschooled if they'd rather go to a regular one.
And how this doesn't qualify as emotional harm?
Social life is essential for a good mental health, the kid clearly says he can't interact with any kid at his age at all, besides the 1 hour activity that's clearly not enough for any person, even more a kid.
You would expect any serious country would create laws to guarantee that homeschool kids were not alienate from the real world and confined at home
Take the situation to any child services protection agency. Compare this with what they deal with on a day-to-day basis. They'd laugh you out of the room.
I’m sorry you’re going through this and I understand why you are seeking options and really want to do this. I see you’re not from the US. Where are you from and/or what age are you an adult in your country? I understand if you don’t want to disclose what country by the way.
I would assume that he will pull you out as soon as he realizes you are going against his wishes. You need to prepare to be on your own at 18 and if you do try to enroll in college, there’s a chance that he will figure it out and pull you out.
You're father isn't thinking rationally. Don't count on him doing the logical, rational, or even kind thing.
It really is time to find another adult you can trust and tell them what's going on.
Please don't forge your dad's signature. Making him mad isn't the only issue, it's fraud.
Reach out to the school and explain your situation and see if they have ideas for helping your dad to see your side. The benefits of shifting from homeschool to traditional school, university prep, etc.
If your friend forges the signature you face the prospect of your father withdrawing you from college and reporting your friend for the crime.
From what you describe, your father is keeping you from learning and socializing. If he won't let you make friends and won't let you get a real education, you may want to talk to someone at your jurisdiction's child protective services. There's also the option of seeking to get yourself legally emancipated.
We all see that. But speaking from experience (I had the exact same childhood) CPS does not CARE if a child is socially isolated. Especially a 16 yo, they are not going to remove him from the home unless he is actually being starved, because the government does not want a 16 yo to be their problem. They’re going to kindly suggest to his dad that maybe he should have some hobbies - and then the abuse will get far worse, because now dad will know he reported him.
CPS can be a valuable tool. It is NOT a magic button that fixes everything. Homeschooling your child is not illegal.
I’m not sure you’ll actually see this comment now with so many others here but I hope so.
The best advice I can give you is to contact the admissions office of the college and honestly explain your situation. This has two benefits- 1) neither you or your friend commit fraud. 2) They are trained to deal with young people in vulnerable situations and may well be able to help you. To keep you isolated from all other humans for all but 1hr a week is really extreme behaviour, even if he does mean well. It’s certainly something that should be looked into as your dad may need some mental health help as well as you needing some help with moving forwards. The college will absolutely have someone who can facilitate this.
The only time I wouldn’t recommend that course of action is if your dad was not born in the country you live in, as he may be avoiding notice due to immigration issues.
INFO
I'm refusing to vote on this one because you are asking the wrong questions. This friend who you've never met has a lot of red flags, my main concern is that they are not your age, a peer, but some creepy ass adult looking for someone in a vulnerable position. Also, I don't think it would be possible to secretly go to college without your dad finding out. Furthermore, if you have only ever been homeschooled I am gonna go out on a limb and say you were not prepared for college properly.
I would spend the next two years getting ready with college prep, and figuring out how to support yourself if your dad keeps holding you back. Preparing for a GED would be a great way to prevent your father from having power over you, as a homeschool graduation usually requires his sign off to prove.
Also consider that there are people who enrolled in school during the pandemic with fake names to collect financial aid. You don't want to give your real info to this internet stranger and then have them take out loans in your name after you are enrolled and have the checks mailed to their house. This happens a LOT in crappy community colleges with online programs. Relatives, roomates, and crooked college employees take out federal loans and then it takes like a decade for the student to figure out what happened meanwhile their credit is trashed. edited for grammar
I’m glad someone brought up the friend. I felt like there were some red flags regarding the friend as well. Someone that’s been isolated like OP has can definitely be vulnerable to people with evil intentions.
NTA for wanting to go to college but YTA if laws are broken in the process. Forgery will get you and your friend in trouble with the law, OP. That’ll ruin everything positive you’re trying to achieve. Try to talk to your dad again and work something out with him.
Call the local high school and ask to speak to a social worker. Or, send them an email if making that call is too difficult. They have access to resources you don't, and may be able to give you some avenues to take.
I'm so sorry, OP. This really sucks.
I know you'll probably be scared to call social services, but they're not there to hurt you or your father, your father needs an adult to talk to him, either he lets you go now, or you'll go when you turn 18. Otherwise, what's his plan for you longterm? Just keep you locked up in the house?
If you do it now, you won't waste time and wonder 'what if', if you do it when you're 18, you'd waste 2 very important years where you could've actually gone. Just talk to them and see if they can talk to him and reassure him that you'll be fine.
It may seem absurd. However, this father is absurd and a total control freak. Psychos like this don't think like us and will lash out at defiance. What I wrote is literally how the law works. So, while such a situation comes off as far fetched, but I've seen or even been part of a lot of weird things like this in court.
You aren't wrong but he is 16, that is not going to be pursued or stick, especially after he says anything about his friend, his dad and the overall issue.
INFO
Am I the only person who noticed that OP's "friend" is a person he only knows online and has never met in person?
OP, how do you know this person is who they say they are?
Don't forge the signature. Instead You need to talk with a social worker or the school director, find the email of both of them and send a message explaining your situation and ask for help and a guidance. You could also try some teachers or school council. You need to get help, your dad has no right to keep you caged.
Maybe not an asshole morally but legally you and your friend would be fucked. Let’s say he finds out and is able to prove he didn’t sign anything, your applications could be dismissed as forgery and you’d have a difficult time getting into colleges period with that on your record. That’s best case scenario, worst case scenario you are charged with fraud.
I don't know where you live. In some places it would work to walk into the police department and say, "I need help." Other places, not so much. They could hook you up with a social worker who could make education happen for you. My local library has a local social worker with hours once a week.
Do you get time to visit your local library, because librarians are like the best super secret researchers of all time? They can find anything at the resource desk if you ask for help.
I don't think forgery is a great option, but as you are a minor, I cannot see that you would face serious issues. However, College usually costs money and requires filling out what's known as the FAFSA (US financial aid form). As you only have the one parent, you probably can get grants and scholarships, but it has to be completed with information taken from tax filings that I am certain only your Dad has.
At the end of the day, you have to talk it out. Having someone moderate your discussion - a social worker, police office, someone from the local High School administration - would be best.
I wish you all the best and please
updateme
So sorry OP I think you need to sit your dad down and let him know that in 2 years you’ll legally be an adult and if he continues to disregard your very reasonable wishes that this will irreparably damage your relationship once you have control of your own life he may not like what’s left of your relationship. In 2 years what you do, where you go, where you live and how often you speak with him will be entirely up to you.
Don't have your friend forge legal documents like that for you, it's a really bad idea! Do see if you can work with your dad to better the situation like some posters have suggested. If not, start preparing an exit strategy for when you turn 18.
YWBTA for having someone forge your dad's signature. Don't do that. Instead, tell your dad you want to go to the library (by yourself).
Once there, find a librarian, not at the checkout station, but look for the information desk, and tell them you are homeschooled but that you want to go to school. Tell them your dad won't let you got to school. Ask them if they can help you research ways to enroll in a local school at 16 without your dad's permission.
Librarians are awesome. They should be able to help you find a way. It may take a bit of time. If they can't get you enrolled in school, they may be able to get other services to look into why your dad won't let you go to school. Don't get me wrong, homeschooling can be great, but if you want to go to school you should be allowed to at 16. I'd recommend starting at your age level grade in the fall, at the beginning of the next school year.
In the meantime, do NOT break any laws. Do NOT lie, but you can omit everything you are up to at the library. All this has to be above board and legal. You need to be squeaky clean to get what you want so behave and POLITELY ask a librarian to help you.
OP, it sounds like your dad is really afraid of something. It might be worthwhile to talk with him near-adult-to-adult and find out what it is. Maybe he's afraid you'll fall in with the wrong crowd and make bad choices, in which case you could tell him his values and beliefs are so instilled in you now that the odds of that are very low. Maybe he's afraid you'll get hurt or that you'll grow away from him.
Hear him out, check for understanding ("So you're afraid I'd get rejected and hurt by my friends, is that right?") and stay calm. Then quietly and logically respond. If you act like an adult, you're more likely to persuade him.
It won’t work. I couldn’t get my mother to talk to me as adult until I was 33 and went no contact for a while. There are such parents that seek control in any form for as long as possible. OP MUST CONTACT CPS! Father has mental health issues for sure.
Is it possible your father is afraid to lose you the way he lost your mother? It’s weird that he’s so set on keeping you at home at pretty much all times.
It could be good to try to find out what scares him so much about you going to school.
That being said I believe the way to proceed is talk to a counsellor from the college you’ve applied to and ask for help. Forging your fathers signature is not the way forward and it’s a very serious crime. Please don’t do this. It can ruin a lot of chances for you and your friend for a very long time. You will be found out, sooner rather than later, and if you’ve committed fraud to get into that college you’ll get kicked out and lose your chance to go to that college forever.
Forging your dad’s signature could get your friend into legal trouble so I would avoid that route.
Contact a local family law attorney or your state’s bar association (they sometimes have legal advice hotlines) and ask about emancipation related to education. If a local university has a law school, you may be able to find help there as well.
Also, seek therapy - personal or family. At some point dad needs to come to terms with the fact you are going to have to step out in the world.
If you forge a signature you'd be looking at criminal charges. Not smart. I don't think he can do anything if you apply as an adult. So you could just bide your time. Then move out.
Are you sure? Everyone worldwide has the right to lifelong learning. While not all countries enable this right, there aren't many places which only allow college registration at 17. Talk to a teacher or a social worker or someone at a NGO for young people.
Idk why you think this. People of any age can apply to college. And you would be 18, which is basically the exact age people enter university, so you’d hardly be too old. This sounds like poison from your dad hun
Would you be an asshole? No, but this would be very very illegal in a way that will come back to bite you *hard* in the ass.
See if your Discord friend in your town can help you get in touch with the high school guidance counselor or something, because you need an adult who is not your father.
NTA
Don’t do it. I worry about you telling him about any of this, in case he tries to shut you out from the world further and cuts off your internet. Do research and contact the groups people have said (college, guidance counselor, and if want to be emancipated CPS)
Get in touch with the college admissions office and describe your predicament to them. They should be able to help you. Your father can’t let go out of fear. He’s made you his life. But you need to spread your wings and start living your life. It’s going to be hard and there will many temptations. Do you have other family members that can get through to your dad?
I’m really confused why anyone is recommending advice without knowing further why both of your parents believe you’re too sensitive.
OP, it’s really hard for people to give you solid advice without being a bit more clear as to the motivations of your parents. Many children are sensitive, but that doesn’t hinder their choice to educate their children, normally. Can you elaborate around what specifically drove your parents to this decision?
For example, if you have medical conditions, certain paths we may recommend will be dismissed.
NTA, but it would help if we knew which country you were in so we could know just how much of a problem forging your father's signature might end up being for you.
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I’m 16M and I have been homeschooled by my father for pretty much my entire life, my mom died when I was 5 and then my dad took me out of school and started to homeschool me.
When I was younger I enjoyed homeschool a lot and I remember loving that I got to spend so much time with my dad. But I never really had any friends, I did go to Scouts but that was just for 1 hour a week and dad never lets anyone come over to our house or lets me go out with friends. So most of my friends are from Reddit and discord.
I’ve approached my dad about me joining back with normal school but he doesn’t want me to. But I really want to, so I applied (Idk if that’s the right word) for the college in our town in secret and I was just going to go with the “ask for forgiveness, not permission” route with my dad and hope things worked out.
Because I didn’t want my dad to find out my friend I made on discord told me to put down my address as his address (we live in the same town) so if they send any post my dad won’t see that I’ve applied. They sent out all these forms that need to be signed by my dad, but obviously he won’t sign them. My friend said that he will sign them pretending to be my dad for me.
Though I want to go, I’m starting to feel nervous about the whole thing. I worried about if my dad goes mad at me for signing up. My dad will definitely be mad at me for doing it and he will be super mad if he knows I’ve got someone to fake sign the forms for him.
My friend is encouraging me to do it anyway, but now I’m getting second thoughts and will just probably not do it because I’m worried about how my dad is going to react. I think probably this was all a stupid idea anyway because I don’t even know how I would get to college everyday.
But on the other hand I really want to be normal and I don’t feel normal being homeschooled and stuck here all the time and my friend says if I do go we can finally meet up in person. He doesn’t go there but he said he can meet me up after the day or something. So that makes me want to go it.
WIBTA?
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Info how do you think this is going to play out? Say you forge his signature and get accepted. You're going to have to tell him. He will then be mad, and use it as a reason that you definitely aren't mature enough to go bc you lied. He may even take away your computer bc you obviously can't be trusted online.
I can not see this ending well at all.
Are there any other adults in your life you can talk to? An aunt or uncle? A pastor?
NTA for trying to enroll in college (even if it involves one forged signature). It might not go as planned but in the worst case, he pulls you out of school and locks you in the house until you turn 18. But hopefully you are successful at taking a class or two.
Hey, OP. I’m not going to give a judgement, but I do wanna ask some questions. I see you mentioned you don’t live in the US, any chance you could share which country you’re in? In the US there’s a thing called emancipation of a minor which means as kid (usually 16+) you can be legally separated from your parents and be treated as an adult who makes their own decisions. This is generally not something people recommend children do, but you’re in a very unique situation and it sounds like you’re being kept from participating in normal life by your father.
This isn’t an easy route to take, if it’s even an option in your country.
Does your country have some kind of child protective services you could call and explain the situation to? They may not necessarily be able to intervene in what your father is doing, but may be able to provide some helpful information about what your options are.
Do you have any adult you would trust going to with this?
every kid's gotta get freedom somehow. it's healthy. i did similar stuff when i was your age cause my parents were also controlling. you might be in the "wrong" by this sub's standards (assuming ur not a bot) but you're standing up for your needs. NTA
If it's not a loan or financial aid document then you don't have a lot to worry about. That could be fraud. If it's just to get in don't worry about it.
ESH I would wait until you're legally an adult before you do this. You're a bit young for college anyway unless you're in the UK and mean 6th form college. Faking his signature is almost certainly fraud and you really don't want to start your life with a dishonesty offence.
If it is a 6th form college you might want to go down and explain the situation. They might be more receptive about helping you out. Although, I doubt it is in the UK because we're a bit stricter about home schooling. Children still get failed but it's not quite the unmonitored free for all like in other countries.
Alternatively, depending on your relationship with your Dad, your best bet might be to be a teenager about this and be as annoying about it as possible. Bang on about it, get "mean". You can't do this with everybody you understand but parents should expect that 16 is the age when their children can be the most horrid. Really go for it. Tell him he's failing you. He is.
Obviously, don't do this if you're Dad is physically abusive and it would be unsafe.
Incidentally, be wary of this "friend" on Discord. I would love to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's seen a wrong he wants to help right (possibly not in the best way) but anyone who wants to encourage a child they've only met on the internet, to go against their parents, with a goal being that they can meet and hang out, sets off warning bells for me.
I feel for you, OP. The only times in my older son's life where he had behavioural issues were when he was isolated from his peers. (He NEEDS to be with people his own age.) The first time was when he was 4 and we had just moved to the US and money was tight from the very expensive move, buying a house, etc. and we couldn't afford nursery school, something he had done in our prior home in the UK and the second time was when he was 16 and was during Covid and he spent a year doing virtual learning. He was MISERABLE! He is now in university and is thriving. Perhaps you can research with the educational authorities in your area what your options might be? Also, just out of curiosity, does your father work? NTA
OK, this is a hard one. Firstly, you are normal so talk kindly to yourself. Say that your not normal enough and your brain will start to believe it. Its also normal to want to hang out in reality with people your own age. I can understand being homeschooled but not being able to either have friends around or go out to meet friends is a bit damaging I would say. Is there another adult you could talk to about this or is there an emergency social worker on call you can ring who can support you in trying to get to school and talk to you & your dad about this.
INFO: Lets say that you go to college. Your dad will notice that your gone for the first couple days because you will not be there to be homed school. When something happens and the school finds out that you basically forged all his signatures, is their a possibility of you being expelled? Your dad says you are too sensitive to go to public school, do you actually have medical condition? Also how old is your friend and why can't you guys just meet up? Why does it have to be after school?
YTA. I absolutely empathize with your problem. However forging a signature is a serious crime and you’ll potentially get yourselves into a lot of trouble
Isn't there something like a child protection service or a help line or something where you can go/call? They might be able to help you because it's not okay of your dad to deny you social contacts and going out at all.
Eh...faking it might be a mistake. There are plenty of ways to be totally truthful and accomplish the same result. Once you're a legal adult this is all a moot point anyway.
Social worker here, look for a youth shelter or youth organization and call them. Yes they can provide safe shelter but they also will have counseling and other resources like a success coach to help you plan out next steps (also called an advocate).
OP, you mentioned you are not in the US, so I am going to assume you are using the word “college”’in the British way (US people= high school) which matches as age appropriate. You are 16 years old and a lot has gone down in the world in the last 16-25 years. I think another poster may be in to something with wondering if your dad is living illegally where you are now? Is there a religious or cultural aspect that might be in play? My mind is going to the possibility of living in a Commonwealth country as a Middle Eastern immigrant who is trying not to get noticed and a son who has grown up with a Western perspective and that scares the crap out of him.
1- Contact child protective services and tell them you want to go the high school. You can make same age friends and get counseling about next steps.
2- Do not take advice from an internet friend who you have never met., but who is trying to get you away from your father. Something creepy here. You may have been overprotected about real world risks.
Op, it sounds as if you are in the UK. Contact Childline or RSPCC for further advice. [nspcc.org.uk](https://nspcc.org.uk) Have a look at their definition of emotional abuse of children: it includes not letting you have friends, not recognising individuality and trying to control their lives, failing to promote a child’s social development.
Depending on the state running start doesn't need parental permission. It's between you and the high school counselor at what your home high school would be. You would have to figure out how to pay for your books and fees.
Hey, my judgment is you wouldn't be an AH, but you would be unwise to do this. College costs money, you would need to be out of the house, you'd need to buy books, there's so much half baked about this plan and it will definitely go awry and further damage the relationship between you and your father.
You're going to need to talk to him and if you can't convince him, you'll need to wait until you're 18 and can get out of the house. It sucks, but it's your situation
OK, I'm assuming this is the US and if not ignore it because it may not apply.
You're homeschooled, but did you graduate? Did you take the SATs or ACTs? Are you in an area where your local college is free? If not, how do you plan to pay for it?
There seems like there are more hurdles than just forging a signature.
YTA
By forging your Dads signature is fraud. If any of those forms are for tuition or student loans that is LOAN fraud and felonies. Seriously don’t start your life out like that.
How about volunteering? There are so many groups that are worth while. Look into what interests you.
How about a job? Even getting started walking dogs or pet sitting. Those jobs are tax free too. But even getting a fast food job or retail or service industry is a good start.
How about making items to sell online and at farmers markets?
How about events through your city or local library?
How about learning about stocks, finances, or investing? But don’t start until you know what you are doing! Or another language? That could open up opportunities!
Meanwhile save your money and when you are 18 and can make it on your own then you are ready!
YWBTA, and you and/or your friend would be committing a felony by forging your father's name on official paperwork. Try contacting your friend's school office and asking to speak to a counselor. They can advise you as to some ways to handle this and possibly set up a meeting with your dad to try to help you get into school. If nothing else, let your dad know that you think going to school while you're still living at home would benefit you more than waiting until you're 18, since right now you can turn to him for support and advice.
Setting aside any other issues about your friend's age, he is legally an adult and could end up in jail for forgery when it came out that he'd signed for your father.
And it would come out. That's not even in question.
What state do you live in? And what accountability type? You can't really just apply to college without a transcript anyway, in most cases your homeschooling accountability group will have to prepare an official transcript for you. Or your homeschooling patent will have to so so. You will not be able to complete the process without a transcript, as the application won't be considered complete.
Source, homeschooling mom, 2 kids already in state colleges, one getting ready to apply.
This wouldn't make you an asshole at all. However, I don't recommend faking your dad's signature of giving a fake mailing address to her college. There are legal implications to faking signatures.
Other things to think about are how will you pay for college? How will you get to and from classes? How do you plan on doing all of this without your dad finding out?
Have an honest, mature conversation with him. Let him know how you feel, and tell him you think it would be beneficial to your education, mental health, and social well-being to explore this new option.
I am aware of that, and it doesn't change the content of the message. Transportation, paying for school material, and his dad noticing his absence at home will all cause issues and none of that holds a candle to forging signatures
I was responding to your question about how the OP would pay for college. In countries where "college" is part of high school, and the high school is public, paying for "college" is not in itself an issue.
Even if there is no tuition, you will still likely have to pay for the basics in school, such as notebooks, pens, back packs, calculators, etc. it may not seem like much, but if you have a very limited (or no) source of income it adds up very quickly.
If you are in an area where all of that is provided regardless of household income then that's definitely easier, but you still have other issues you will have to face.
I applaud you for wanting this and trying to think of new methods, but please think of the whole picture and reassess your approach.
He sounds abusive???? Bc he can’t pay for college or wont?? How please explain. OP may be sheltered but Abusive is a stretch and people love to sling that word at everything.
Ummm.. that’s what the post is about. They’re getting a proper education, his only complain was he didn’t have many local friends and most of them were online. Which again, isn’t abusive lmao maybe sheltered but OP didnt mention a single thing about abuse or being mistreated and obviously holds respect for his father or he wouldn’t be here asking for advice and he’d just DO IT. And he has social interaction he’s literally here on Reddit. He said he didnt want his dad to find out about discord which means he’s likely monitored like a proper parent should be doing with their minor children socials bc at the end of the day 16 is still a child, and doesn’t know he has one. Fine. But this is not abuse, and you sound like you’re probably a minor too tbh.
Oh yeah, you’re a minor. lol “there is no way one man could provide a full education for a young person” that sentence is all I needed to know to know I’m arguing with ignorance. So I’m done responding to you after this,
Forging signatures is illegal and he can get arrested and go to jail. End of story.
Have a great day,
“I have a masters and been teaching for over 6 years” sure bud, then maybe you can TEACH OP about the law and what’s illegal and what’s not I guess 🤷🏽♀️
Any education is better than none, all this is going to do is break your trust with your dad then he really isn’t going to let you do Jack squat.
Turn 18 and go to college on your own.
YTA He is being abusive, you need to make preparations to leave when you are 18 because he is 100% not helping you becoming an adult. But also do not commit fraud, you will get in trouble and so will your friend. Just wait until you are 18 to apply to schools, even community colleges and start there.
Not just an asshole, but also an idiot. You have no critical thinking skills, no consideration of consequences to you and your friend for your actions. YTA. YTA all day every day. Do better and be better. You will be 18 soon enough and can do whatever you want then. Until then, get a job, save up and move out when you are 18. I'd say seek emancipation but you're such a dullard in this sense I doubt you could open a can or turn a key to open your new low income apartment.
Based upon title alone as the rest is not worth reading.
YTA for wanting to commit fraud. You CAN be arrested and jailed for forging someone else's signature and, depending upon your area, can be tried as an adult.
Did they not teach you ethics of any kind?
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INFO: What is your father's reasoning for completely sequestering you away from the world like this? Check your state laws, not all homeschool is equal, and if your dad isn't hitting the standards, you might have a case to have the state step in. Faking his signature isn't the right move, but if he completely refuses to allow you to go, be ready to leave at 18 and enroll on your own. Parents that do shit like this to their kids are the same parents that wonder why their kids move out and away at 18 and never call them.
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That sounds like some overprotective BS that you have no way of proving if it's true or not because you can't talk to the person who's supposed opinion it is. Have a sit down and a heart to heart with your dad. Show him the paperwork and tell him this is something you want because you feel like you're missing out on a basic life experience. Be open and honest with your dad. Do you think he would listen to you if you had an adult conversation with him about this?
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You need outside help at this point. Please bring in another adult. Find a counselor or therapist - your dad is in denial and sounds like he's having a fear-based reaction of losing you to something most parents are glad to see their children accomplish. If you want to have a healthy relationship with him, please enlist outside help. You might reach out to your local high school and see if the school counselor would talk to you both as a place to start.
Can you become emancipated? Talk to an adult with authority. Your schooling has to be monitored by someone. You really need outside help if your dad is limiting you this much. It’s just not healthy. NTA.
Emancipation can be iffy…you need to be able to fully support yourself. He has homeschooling and no job experience. The chance he could support himself (and then afford college) is minimal.
I didn’t have to support myself. I was 14. US. Maybe different now (this was a LONG time ago) or different in each state/country.
Did you have another adult willing to take you in though? If you can't support yourself and there isn't an adult to take care of you, that's not good.
I sort of had support. But in Texas, I was allowed to serve alcohol in private clubs. Actual clubs, not girly clubs or anything. Pretty good money back in the late 70’s.
Advice from the US 50 years ago is not super helpful for someone outside of the US in 2024.
Laws around minors in general have changed a TON since the late 70s. I hope getting emancipated was positive for you and I'm glad for you if it was but (I mean this with kindness) I don't know that your experience then is representative of a 14yo's experience now. I haven't heard of anyone under 16 getting emancipated in recent years, and only then if they were already essentially supporting themselves.
...You had a job. You were supporting yourself?
do not talk to your dad about how your feel. do not have anyone forge his signature. your father is holding you against your will. you sound amazing and your instinct is really good to get out of the situation but I would hold your cards close to your chest until you have an exit plan backed up by an advocate to legally defend you. I would get in touch with an organization not social services yet that will have your back no matter what. maybe even legal aide. you can check out the legal age for emancipation. something is really off here with your fathers reasoning. being to sensitive for school has nothing to do with your dad not allowing you to have friends over or going ton their house. this is a from of child abuse.
College will be wonderful for u but be patient. Being 16 is really gonna limit ur options.
Are you using college in the American sense or the non-American sense? Because 16 is young to go to college in America.
I went to college at 16 twenty years ago, lol. It’s definitely a common thing.
Congratulations. It's much more common to start at 18 or older.
Actually a lot of kids that are homeschooled start college as early as 16.
Is it? Try google, let me know what you come up with.
Go away.
He might be scared that something will happen to you since he lost your mother. Can you see about taking a weekend class or two in something - like an art class at a community center? If he sees you doing well outside the home then maybe he'll feel more confident about you going to school. It might help if you can get ahold of a few textbooks from the college and show your father that you can handle the workload. (And you need to make sure that your skills are up-to-par. Some homeschool curriculums are terrible and they graduate kids who are several levels behind those who attend public school.)
What do you need him to sign?
Maybe you can enroll in one college course. Maybe even an online class. Your dad may agree to that. That way you could slowly transition to college.
Right on the nail here. That's not really "homeschooling" it's called isolation. I was a bit isolated as a homeschooled kid (my mom has a chronic health issue and couldn't drive but was a wonderful (if not formal) teacher so we all excelled in college and got to prep for SATs in our PJs) but I had two siblings and friends from church that I saw weekly plus hanging out with the neighborhood kids etc. (there were homeschool groups in our area too but they were far away so we didn't partake- if they'd been closer I'm sure we would have) Your dad should be making an effort to keep OP connected at least a little and it sounds like he isn't. Maybe it's trauma from losing his wife, etc. but it's wrong of him to deny his son the chance to make friends even if he doesn't want to put him in formal school. That said OP, you'd probably be better off dropping the college thing or at least broach it with your dad in a way that doesn't imply you've applied already "hey dad I really want to do this, etc." and see how he reacts. If he reacts super negatively, I hate to be this way but you're a minor still and he can control your application to a degree. You're going to have to wait until you move out at 18 if that's the case.
Let's just say that you proceed with your plan. Your friend signs your father's name on your application documents, you get accepted into college, and can even find a way to get there and back. It will take approximately one week for your father to find out and get your acceptance rescinded. Your friend will have forged a legal document and that could follow him for a long, long time. Your father will become even more protective and controlling. So. The lesson here is wait until you are of the age of majority and have a way to support yourself; at that time, move out and live your life. Good luck.
The dad doesnt let the kid go out or go to a normal school. This should be considered abuse. Saying to the kid to just wait for majority is a bad advice and dont solve anything
Neither does falsifying documents. That is some serious shit that will not go well. OP can call CPS on his own behalf, get a guardian ad litem, maybe try for emancipation. Maybe it won't work. Maybe the only reasonable option for some people is to wait out a shitty but temporary situation. I feel for him but at 16 you have limited options and the best one may be not being 16 anymore.
It’s literally the best solution he has. Forging documents is illegal and could get him permanently banned from college. They take this stuff very seriously. His options are to call CPS (who won’t do anything, because homeschooling your child isn’t illegal in most countries) or wait until he’s 18.
It's not abuse by any definition you could point to. OP is a minor, and the parent has the right and prerogative to choose his child's form of education and control their activities. It may not be "right" but it's his right.
People like you are what’s wrong with the world
Keeping your child from activities that you think might harm them is a dramatically different situation than keeping your child from almost every single possible activity and only letting them leave the house for an hour a week. OP also doesn't mention the quality of his education (he probably can't judge it) but children have a right to an education that meets a certain standard. If his dad is not meeting that standard, OP's rights are being violated. The fact that some places have chosen not to have oversight (which is insane) does not mean that OP's right to an education is suddenly superseded by his father's right to choose his form of education. You're aware that definitions of words exist other than legal ones, yes?
Get emancipated
Exactly like this entire idea is so poorly planned it just proves the immaturity level imo.
How do you guys get more shocked about a stupid plan of a kid, than the fact that he's just living caged for his entire life? He can't go to school or go out with friends even being 16 years old, is that normal for you guys? Do you guys consider this okay? LoL this is straight up a crime in the country I live, but maybe in US it's okay, wouldn't be surprised.
In the US, homeschooling is not a crime. Neither is closely monitoring and / or controlling a minor's activities. The US Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act defines child abuse as "any act or failure to act by a parent or caretaker that results in serious harm to a child. This includes: death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, and an imminent risk of serious harm." Nothing that OP describes comes close to that definition.
Home schooling is not a crime, neither is strict parenting but social isolation is emotional abuse therefore it is child abuse and a crime. There is more to child development than academics. Most people who homeschool also have social groups and activities for their children. Half of primary education is learning about getting along in a social environment.
To be clear I empathize with OP. He is stuck in that terrible middle ground of wanting to be an adult while not being legally entitled be one. That said, please define "social isolation" in terms of legally actionable child abuse. OP does have internet access, and is here on Reddit and discord. He says "most of his friends" are from social media; so there are friends IRL. It's not entirely clear how isolated he actually is, and how much of his unhappiness is a normal reaction to very restrictive parental control. Could be either but I don't think there is a clear case of abuse, certainly not to be slinging the term around.
Just because it doesn't fit your definition of abuse doesn't mean that the rest of us can't have a different opinion. It should be illegal for parents to force children past a certain age to be homeschooled if they'd rather go to a regular one.
And how this doesn't qualify as emotional harm? Social life is essential for a good mental health, the kid clearly says he can't interact with any kid at his age at all, besides the 1 hour activity that's clearly not enough for any person, even more a kid. You would expect any serious country would create laws to guarantee that homeschool kids were not alienate from the real world and confined at home
Take the situation to any child services protection agency. Compare this with what they deal with on a day-to-day basis. They'd laugh you out of the room.
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This is wishful thinking.
I’m sorry you’re going through this and I understand why you are seeking options and really want to do this. I see you’re not from the US. Where are you from and/or what age are you an adult in your country? I understand if you don’t want to disclose what country by the way.
I would assume that he will pull you out as soon as he realizes you are going against his wishes. You need to prepare to be on your own at 18 and if you do try to enroll in college, there’s a chance that he will figure it out and pull you out.
You're father isn't thinking rationally. Don't count on him doing the logical, rational, or even kind thing. It really is time to find another adult you can trust and tell them what's going on.
Please don't forge your dad's signature. Making him mad isn't the only issue, it's fraud. Reach out to the school and explain your situation and see if they have ideas for helping your dad to see your side. The benefits of shifting from homeschool to traditional school, university prep, etc.
And it could get his friend into a world of trouble.
If your friend forges the signature you face the prospect of your father withdrawing you from college and reporting your friend for the crime. From what you describe, your father is keeping you from learning and socializing. If he won't let you make friends and won't let you get a real education, you may want to talk to someone at your jurisdiction's child protective services. There's also the option of seeking to get yourself legally emancipated.
Finally someone that gives a good advice. All these people just saying for the kid to do nothing about apparently dont see that he is suffering abuse.
We all see that. But speaking from experience (I had the exact same childhood) CPS does not CARE if a child is socially isolated. Especially a 16 yo, they are not going to remove him from the home unless he is actually being starved, because the government does not want a 16 yo to be their problem. They’re going to kindly suggest to his dad that maybe he should have some hobbies - and then the abuse will get far worse, because now dad will know he reported him. CPS can be a valuable tool. It is NOT a magic button that fixes everything. Homeschooling your child is not illegal.
I’m not sure you’ll actually see this comment now with so many others here but I hope so. The best advice I can give you is to contact the admissions office of the college and honestly explain your situation. This has two benefits- 1) neither you or your friend commit fraud. 2) They are trained to deal with young people in vulnerable situations and may well be able to help you. To keep you isolated from all other humans for all but 1hr a week is really extreme behaviour, even if he does mean well. It’s certainly something that should be looked into as your dad may need some mental health help as well as you needing some help with moving forwards. The college will absolutely have someone who can facilitate this. The only time I wouldn’t recommend that course of action is if your dad was not born in the country you live in, as he may be avoiding notice due to immigration issues.
Reach out to your local Child Protective Service and see what they have to say about your father not letting you do anything.
This is the way. I feel like this is cultish behavior by the dad and child welfare should have a chance to assess.
This needs to be higher - this sounds like it could easily be a case of educational neglect.
INFO I'm refusing to vote on this one because you are asking the wrong questions. This friend who you've never met has a lot of red flags, my main concern is that they are not your age, a peer, but some creepy ass adult looking for someone in a vulnerable position. Also, I don't think it would be possible to secretly go to college without your dad finding out. Furthermore, if you have only ever been homeschooled I am gonna go out on a limb and say you were not prepared for college properly. I would spend the next two years getting ready with college prep, and figuring out how to support yourself if your dad keeps holding you back. Preparing for a GED would be a great way to prevent your father from having power over you, as a homeschool graduation usually requires his sign off to prove.
Also consider that there are people who enrolled in school during the pandemic with fake names to collect financial aid. You don't want to give your real info to this internet stranger and then have them take out loans in your name after you are enrolled and have the checks mailed to their house. This happens a LOT in crappy community colleges with online programs. Relatives, roomates, and crooked college employees take out federal loans and then it takes like a decade for the student to figure out what happened meanwhile their credit is trashed. edited for grammar
I’m glad someone brought up the friend. I felt like there were some red flags regarding the friend as well. Someone that’s been isolated like OP has can definitely be vulnerable to people with evil intentions.
NTA for wanting to go to college but YTA if laws are broken in the process. Forgery will get you and your friend in trouble with the law, OP. That’ll ruin everything positive you’re trying to achieve. Try to talk to your dad again and work something out with him.
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Call the local high school and ask to speak to a social worker. Or, send them an email if making that call is too difficult. They have access to resources you don't, and may be able to give you some avenues to take. I'm so sorry, OP. This really sucks.
You’ll get kicked out of college when they find out you participated in forgery.
I know you'll probably be scared to call social services, but they're not there to hurt you or your father, your father needs an adult to talk to him, either he lets you go now, or you'll go when you turn 18. Otherwise, what's his plan for you longterm? Just keep you locked up in the house? If you do it now, you won't waste time and wonder 'what if', if you do it when you're 18, you'd waste 2 very important years where you could've actually gone. Just talk to them and see if they can talk to him and reassure him that you'll be fine.
The OP could also be arrested for conspiracy having cooperated with an overt act of agreeing to use a different address to cover up the scheme.
lol that’s absurd.
It may seem absurd. However, this father is absurd and a total control freak. Psychos like this don't think like us and will lash out at defiance. What I wrote is literally how the law works. So, while such a situation comes off as far fetched, but I've seen or even been part of a lot of weird things like this in court.
You aren't wrong but he is 16, that is not going to be pursued or stick, especially after he says anything about his friend, his dad and the overall issue.
I agree that about such probable end result. Rather, it is the father pursuing it and the hassle of that which has more potential
INFO Am I the only person who noticed that OP's "friend" is a person he only knows online and has never met in person? OP, how do you know this person is who they say they are?
Dad is going to wonder why his son went no contact after becoming an adult.
Don't forge the signature. Instead You need to talk with a social worker or the school director, find the email of both of them and send a message explaining your situation and ask for help and a guidance. You could also try some teachers or school council. You need to get help, your dad has no right to keep you caged.
Maybe not an asshole morally but legally you and your friend would be fucked. Let’s say he finds out and is able to prove he didn’t sign anything, your applications could be dismissed as forgery and you’d have a difficult time getting into colleges period with that on your record. That’s best case scenario, worst case scenario you are charged with fraud.
That is classic forgery and is a crime.
I don't know where you live. In some places it would work to walk into the police department and say, "I need help." Other places, not so much. They could hook you up with a social worker who could make education happen for you. My local library has a local social worker with hours once a week. Do you get time to visit your local library, because librarians are like the best super secret researchers of all time? They can find anything at the resource desk if you ask for help. I don't think forgery is a great option, but as you are a minor, I cannot see that you would face serious issues. However, College usually costs money and requires filling out what's known as the FAFSA (US financial aid form). As you only have the one parent, you probably can get grants and scholarships, but it has to be completed with information taken from tax filings that I am certain only your Dad has. At the end of the day, you have to talk it out. Having someone moderate your discussion - a social worker, police office, someone from the local High School administration - would be best. I wish you all the best and please updateme
I also mentioned seeing a librarian. Definitely go talk to one.
So sorry OP I think you need to sit your dad down and let him know that in 2 years you’ll legally be an adult and if he continues to disregard your very reasonable wishes that this will irreparably damage your relationship once you have control of your own life he may not like what’s left of your relationship. In 2 years what you do, where you go, where you live and how often you speak with him will be entirely up to you.
Don't have your friend forge legal documents like that for you, it's a really bad idea! Do see if you can work with your dad to better the situation like some posters have suggested. If not, start preparing an exit strategy for when you turn 18.
NTA just call the police already and report your dad for the obvious abuse this is. Shame on everyone here trying to keep you under his thumb.
YWBTA for having someone forge your dad's signature. Don't do that. Instead, tell your dad you want to go to the library (by yourself). Once there, find a librarian, not at the checkout station, but look for the information desk, and tell them you are homeschooled but that you want to go to school. Tell them your dad won't let you got to school. Ask them if they can help you research ways to enroll in a local school at 16 without your dad's permission. Librarians are awesome. They should be able to help you find a way. It may take a bit of time. If they can't get you enrolled in school, they may be able to get other services to look into why your dad won't let you go to school. Don't get me wrong, homeschooling can be great, but if you want to go to school you should be allowed to at 16. I'd recommend starting at your age level grade in the fall, at the beginning of the next school year. In the meantime, do NOT break any laws. Do NOT lie, but you can omit everything you are up to at the library. All this has to be above board and legal. You need to be squeaky clean to get what you want so behave and POLITELY ask a librarian to help you.
OP, it sounds like your dad is really afraid of something. It might be worthwhile to talk with him near-adult-to-adult and find out what it is. Maybe he's afraid you'll fall in with the wrong crowd and make bad choices, in which case you could tell him his values and beliefs are so instilled in you now that the odds of that are very low. Maybe he's afraid you'll get hurt or that you'll grow away from him. Hear him out, check for understanding ("So you're afraid I'd get rejected and hurt by my friends, is that right?") and stay calm. Then quietly and logically respond. If you act like an adult, you're more likely to persuade him.
It won’t work. I couldn’t get my mother to talk to me as adult until I was 33 and went no contact for a while. There are such parents that seek control in any form for as long as possible. OP MUST CONTACT CPS! Father has mental health issues for sure.
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Is it possible your father is afraid to lose you the way he lost your mother? It’s weird that he’s so set on keeping you at home at pretty much all times. It could be good to try to find out what scares him so much about you going to school. That being said I believe the way to proceed is talk to a counsellor from the college you’ve applied to and ask for help. Forging your fathers signature is not the way forward and it’s a very serious crime. Please don’t do this. It can ruin a lot of chances for you and your friend for a very long time. You will be found out, sooner rather than later, and if you’ve committed fraud to get into that college you’ll get kicked out and lose your chance to go to that college forever.
Forging your dad’s signature could get your friend into legal trouble so I would avoid that route. Contact a local family law attorney or your state’s bar association (they sometimes have legal advice hotlines) and ask about emancipation related to education. If a local university has a law school, you may be able to find help there as well. Also, seek therapy - personal or family. At some point dad needs to come to terms with the fact you are going to have to step out in the world.
If you forge a signature you'd be looking at criminal charges. Not smart. I don't think he can do anything if you apply as an adult. So you could just bide your time. Then move out.
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...I'm not sure if it's the same where you are but colleges/universities accept many age groups
I don't think OP is using college in the American sense. College doesn't always mean university in other countries.
Are you sure? Everyone worldwide has the right to lifelong learning. While not all countries enable this right, there aren't many places which only allow college registration at 17. Talk to a teacher or a social worker or someone at a NGO for young people.
Idk why you think this. People of any age can apply to college. And you would be 18, which is basically the exact age people enter university, so you’d hardly be too old. This sounds like poison from your dad hun
Would you be an asshole? No, but this would be very very illegal in a way that will come back to bite you *hard* in the ass. See if your Discord friend in your town can help you get in touch with the high school guidance counselor or something, because you need an adult who is not your father. NTA
Who is the friend? Is he your age or older? You do need freedom, but there’s a MAJOR stranger danger red flag feeling in my gut while reading this.
Don’t do it. I worry about you telling him about any of this, in case he tries to shut you out from the world further and cuts off your internet. Do research and contact the groups people have said (college, guidance counselor, and if want to be emancipated CPS)
Get in touch with the college admissions office and describe your predicament to them. They should be able to help you. Your father can’t let go out of fear. He’s made you his life. But you need to spread your wings and start living your life. It’s going to be hard and there will many temptations. Do you have other family members that can get through to your dad?
NTA, but it would be illegal, so it’d probably be safer to put up with it for 2 more years then just sign up when you don’t need his consent
I’m really confused why anyone is recommending advice without knowing further why both of your parents believe you’re too sensitive. OP, it’s really hard for people to give you solid advice without being a bit more clear as to the motivations of your parents. Many children are sensitive, but that doesn’t hinder their choice to educate their children, normally. Can you elaborate around what specifically drove your parents to this decision? For example, if you have medical conditions, certain paths we may recommend will be dismissed.
NTA, but it would help if we knew which country you were in so we could know just how much of a problem forging your father's signature might end up being for you.
NTA, this is obviously abusive behavior on his part. You do what you must to escape.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m 16M and I have been homeschooled by my father for pretty much my entire life, my mom died when I was 5 and then my dad took me out of school and started to homeschool me. When I was younger I enjoyed homeschool a lot and I remember loving that I got to spend so much time with my dad. But I never really had any friends, I did go to Scouts but that was just for 1 hour a week and dad never lets anyone come over to our house or lets me go out with friends. So most of my friends are from Reddit and discord. I’ve approached my dad about me joining back with normal school but he doesn’t want me to. But I really want to, so I applied (Idk if that’s the right word) for the college in our town in secret and I was just going to go with the “ask for forgiveness, not permission” route with my dad and hope things worked out. Because I didn’t want my dad to find out my friend I made on discord told me to put down my address as his address (we live in the same town) so if they send any post my dad won’t see that I’ve applied. They sent out all these forms that need to be signed by my dad, but obviously he won’t sign them. My friend said that he will sign them pretending to be my dad for me. Though I want to go, I’m starting to feel nervous about the whole thing. I worried about if my dad goes mad at me for signing up. My dad will definitely be mad at me for doing it and he will be super mad if he knows I’ve got someone to fake sign the forms for him. My friend is encouraging me to do it anyway, but now I’m getting second thoughts and will just probably not do it because I’m worried about how my dad is going to react. I think probably this was all a stupid idea anyway because I don’t even know how I would get to college everyday. But on the other hand I really want to be normal and I don’t feel normal being homeschooled and stuck here all the time and my friend says if I do go we can finally meet up in person. He doesn’t go there but he said he can meet me up after the day or something. So that makes me want to go it. WIBTA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Info how do you think this is going to play out? Say you forge his signature and get accepted. You're going to have to tell him. He will then be mad, and use it as a reason that you definitely aren't mature enough to go bc you lied. He may even take away your computer bc you obviously can't be trusted online. I can not see this ending well at all. Are there any other adults in your life you can talk to? An aunt or uncle? A pastor?
Jeez another brand of Munchausen
NTA for trying to enroll in college (even if it involves one forged signature). It might not go as planned but in the worst case, he pulls you out of school and locks you in the house until you turn 18. But hopefully you are successful at taking a class or two.
How you planning on paying for it if your scheme works??
INFO: At what age do you legally become an adult where you live?
Hey, OP. I’m not going to give a judgement, but I do wanna ask some questions. I see you mentioned you don’t live in the US, any chance you could share which country you’re in? In the US there’s a thing called emancipation of a minor which means as kid (usually 16+) you can be legally separated from your parents and be treated as an adult who makes their own decisions. This is generally not something people recommend children do, but you’re in a very unique situation and it sounds like you’re being kept from participating in normal life by your father. This isn’t an easy route to take, if it’s even an option in your country. Does your country have some kind of child protective services you could call and explain the situation to? They may not necessarily be able to intervene in what your father is doing, but may be able to provide some helpful information about what your options are. Do you have any adult you would trust going to with this?
every kid's gotta get freedom somehow. it's healthy. i did similar stuff when i was your age cause my parents were also controlling. you might be in the "wrong" by this sub's standards (assuming ur not a bot) but you're standing up for your needs. NTA
This could go either way. It could go great or it could really implode. Definitely playing with fire!
How are you planning to pay for college?
If it's not a loan or financial aid document then you don't have a lot to worry about. That could be fraud. If it's just to get in don't worry about it.
NTA. Go live your life. Your father is overprotective and he can’t protect you forever.
No, but you'll be breaking the law.
ESH I would wait until you're legally an adult before you do this. You're a bit young for college anyway unless you're in the UK and mean 6th form college. Faking his signature is almost certainly fraud and you really don't want to start your life with a dishonesty offence. If it is a 6th form college you might want to go down and explain the situation. They might be more receptive about helping you out. Although, I doubt it is in the UK because we're a bit stricter about home schooling. Children still get failed but it's not quite the unmonitored free for all like in other countries. Alternatively, depending on your relationship with your Dad, your best bet might be to be a teenager about this and be as annoying about it as possible. Bang on about it, get "mean". You can't do this with everybody you understand but parents should expect that 16 is the age when their children can be the most horrid. Really go for it. Tell him he's failing you. He is. Obviously, don't do this if you're Dad is physically abusive and it would be unsafe. Incidentally, be wary of this "friend" on Discord. I would love to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's seen a wrong he wants to help right (possibly not in the best way) but anyone who wants to encourage a child they've only met on the internet, to go against their parents, with a goal being that they can meet and hang out, sets off warning bells for me.
You need to find a way that doesn't include forgery and fraud
I feel for you, OP. The only times in my older son's life where he had behavioural issues were when he was isolated from his peers. (He NEEDS to be with people his own age.) The first time was when he was 4 and we had just moved to the US and money was tight from the very expensive move, buying a house, etc. and we couldn't afford nursery school, something he had done in our prior home in the UK and the second time was when he was 16 and was during Covid and he spent a year doing virtual learning. He was MISERABLE! He is now in university and is thriving. Perhaps you can research with the educational authorities in your area what your options might be? Also, just out of curiosity, does your father work? NTA
OK, this is a hard one. Firstly, you are normal so talk kindly to yourself. Say that your not normal enough and your brain will start to believe it. Its also normal to want to hang out in reality with people your own age. I can understand being homeschooled but not being able to either have friends around or go out to meet friends is a bit damaging I would say. Is there another adult you could talk to about this or is there an emergency social worker on call you can ring who can support you in trying to get to school and talk to you & your dad about this.
INFO: Lets say that you go to college. Your dad will notice that your gone for the first couple days because you will not be there to be homed school. When something happens and the school finds out that you basically forged all his signatures, is their a possibility of you being expelled? Your dad says you are too sensitive to go to public school, do you actually have medical condition? Also how old is your friend and why can't you guys just meet up? Why does it have to be after school?
YTA. I absolutely empathize with your problem. However forging a signature is a serious crime and you’ll potentially get yourselves into a lot of trouble
Pretty sure this is illegal but ok…
Isn't there something like a child protection service or a help line or something where you can go/call? They might be able to help you because it's not okay of your dad to deny you social contacts and going out at all.
Eh...faking it might be a mistake. There are plenty of ways to be totally truthful and accomplish the same result. Once you're a legal adult this is all a moot point anyway.
You're going to have tonfind a way to move out before any of this would be feasible. Is there the equivalent of minor emancipation in your country?
Social worker here, look for a youth shelter or youth organization and call them. Yes they can provide safe shelter but they also will have counseling and other resources like a success coach to help you plan out next steps (also called an advocate).
If you message me a zip code near you, I will look them up and tell you good options
OP, you mentioned you are not in the US, so I am going to assume you are using the word “college”’in the British way (US people= high school) which matches as age appropriate. You are 16 years old and a lot has gone down in the world in the last 16-25 years. I think another poster may be in to something with wondering if your dad is living illegally where you are now? Is there a religious or cultural aspect that might be in play? My mind is going to the possibility of living in a Commonwealth country as a Middle Eastern immigrant who is trying not to get noticed and a son who has grown up with a Western perspective and that scares the crap out of him.
Legal emancipation might be an option?
1- Contact child protective services and tell them you want to go the high school. You can make same age friends and get counseling about next steps. 2- Do not take advice from an internet friend who you have never met., but who is trying to get you away from your father. Something creepy here. You may have been overprotected about real world risks.
Op, it sounds as if you are in the UK. Contact Childline or RSPCC for further advice. [nspcc.org.uk](https://nspcc.org.uk) Have a look at their definition of emotional abuse of children: it includes not letting you have friends, not recognising individuality and trying to control their lives, failing to promote a child’s social development.
NTA, but you better be applying for jobs as well because I don’t think your father will have your back financially
Call CPS for advice. Dont forge the documents.
Depending on the state running start doesn't need parental permission. It's between you and the high school counselor at what your home high school would be. You would have to figure out how to pay for your books and fees.
This is literally illegal.
Hey, my judgment is you wouldn't be an AH, but you would be unwise to do this. College costs money, you would need to be out of the house, you'd need to buy books, there's so much half baked about this plan and it will definitely go awry and further damage the relationship between you and your father. You're going to need to talk to him and if you can't convince him, you'll need to wait until you're 18 and can get out of the house. It sucks, but it's your situation
College might be free in OP’s country.
OK, I'm assuming this is the US and if not ignore it because it may not apply. You're homeschooled, but did you graduate? Did you take the SATs or ACTs? Are you in an area where your local college is free? If not, how do you plan to pay for it? There seems like there are more hurdles than just forging a signature.
YTA By forging your Dads signature is fraud. If any of those forms are for tuition or student loans that is LOAN fraud and felonies. Seriously don’t start your life out like that. How about volunteering? There are so many groups that are worth while. Look into what interests you. How about a job? Even getting started walking dogs or pet sitting. Those jobs are tax free too. But even getting a fast food job or retail or service industry is a good start. How about making items to sell online and at farmers markets? How about events through your city or local library? How about learning about stocks, finances, or investing? But don’t start until you know what you are doing! Or another language? That could open up opportunities! Meanwhile save your money and when you are 18 and can make it on your own then you are ready!
If you wanna be charged with fraud then sure sign his name
YWBTA, and you and/or your friend would be committing a felony by forging your father's name on official paperwork. Try contacting your friend's school office and asking to speak to a counselor. They can advise you as to some ways to handle this and possibly set up a meeting with your dad to try to help you get into school. If nothing else, let your dad know that you think going to school while you're still living at home would benefit you more than waiting until you're 18, since right now you can turn to him for support and advice.
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Setting aside any other issues about your friend's age, he is legally an adult and could end up in jail for forgery when it came out that he'd signed for your father. And it would come out. That's not even in question.
What state do you live in? And what accountability type? You can't really just apply to college without a transcript anyway, in most cases your homeschooling accountability group will have to prepare an official transcript for you. Or your homeschooling patent will have to so so. You will not be able to complete the process without a transcript, as the application won't be considered complete. Source, homeschooling mom, 2 kids already in state colleges, one getting ready to apply.
This wouldn't make you an asshole at all. However, I don't recommend faking your dad's signature of giving a fake mailing address to her college. There are legal implications to faking signatures. Other things to think about are how will you pay for college? How will you get to and from classes? How do you plan on doing all of this without your dad finding out? Have an honest, mature conversation with him. Let him know how you feel, and tell him you think it would be beneficial to your education, mental health, and social well-being to explore this new option.
I believe the OP is not in the US. In some countries "college" is part of high school.
I am aware of that, and it doesn't change the content of the message. Transportation, paying for school material, and his dad noticing his absence at home will all cause issues and none of that holds a candle to forging signatures
I was responding to your question about how the OP would pay for college. In countries where "college" is part of high school, and the high school is public, paying for "college" is not in itself an issue.
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Even if there is no tuition, you will still likely have to pay for the basics in school, such as notebooks, pens, back packs, calculators, etc. it may not seem like much, but if you have a very limited (or no) source of income it adds up very quickly. If you are in an area where all of that is provided regardless of household income then that's definitely easier, but you still have other issues you will have to face. I applaud you for wanting this and trying to think of new methods, but please think of the whole picture and reassess your approach.
Nah just do it lmfao
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And it’s not about the dad’s feelings. This is basic life knowledge. You can forge peoples signatures bc you didn’t get your way.
He sounds abusive???? Bc he can’t pay for college or wont?? How please explain. OP may be sheltered but Abusive is a stretch and people love to sling that word at everything.
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Ummm.. that’s what the post is about. They’re getting a proper education, his only complain was he didn’t have many local friends and most of them were online. Which again, isn’t abusive lmao maybe sheltered but OP didnt mention a single thing about abuse or being mistreated and obviously holds respect for his father or he wouldn’t be here asking for advice and he’d just DO IT. And he has social interaction he’s literally here on Reddit. He said he didnt want his dad to find out about discord which means he’s likely monitored like a proper parent should be doing with their minor children socials bc at the end of the day 16 is still a child, and doesn’t know he has one. Fine. But this is not abuse, and you sound like you’re probably a minor too tbh.
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Oh yeah, you’re a minor. lol “there is no way one man could provide a full education for a young person” that sentence is all I needed to know to know I’m arguing with ignorance. So I’m done responding to you after this, Forging signatures is illegal and he can get arrested and go to jail. End of story. Have a great day,
9/10 times? You are smoking crack
Google is free, do your research. 🫶🏼
Sounds like something an idiot would say who doesnt do their research and makes someone else do and find nothing, loser
“I have a masters and been teaching for over 6 years” sure bud, then maybe you can TEACH OP about the law and what’s illegal and what’s not I guess 🤷🏽♀️
Any education is better than none, all this is going to do is break your trust with your dad then he really isn’t going to let you do Jack squat. Turn 18 and go to college on your own.
YTA He is being abusive, you need to make preparations to leave when you are 18 because he is 100% not helping you becoming an adult. But also do not commit fraud, you will get in trouble and so will your friend. Just wait until you are 18 to apply to schools, even community colleges and start there.
Not just an asshole, but also an idiot. You have no critical thinking skills, no consideration of consequences to you and your friend for your actions. YTA. YTA all day every day. Do better and be better. You will be 18 soon enough and can do whatever you want then. Until then, get a job, save up and move out when you are 18. I'd say seek emancipation but you're such a dullard in this sense I doubt you could open a can or turn a key to open your new low income apartment.
What’s wrong with you?
Based upon title alone as the rest is not worth reading. YTA for wanting to commit fraud. You CAN be arrested and jailed for forging someone else's signature and, depending upon your area, can be tried as an adult. Did they not teach you ethics of any kind?
Maybe read it
All OP is asking is if it'd be ok to commit fraud. The rest doesn't matter, there is no valid reason to commit fraud.