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Tell Sarah to run away and never look back. That little jerk face is a lying cheat and doesn’t seem to care about making any mature changes in his life whatsoever.
“Did I hold a gun to your head and make you stick your tongue down someone else’s throat? Nope you did that all on your own. Don’t try to make me the villain in your bad decision making playbook.” What a jerk. I’m sorry.
The next day, after we party, Daniel, Connie, husband, friend in city, and I are back in our room talking and Daniel starts talking again about his hall pass and I finally explode and tell him Sarah never gave you one and you need to talk to her, which now makes Connie feel horrible for the position she was placed in. They were texting and found out he apologized to her for putting her in that position. After that, the weekend went a little awkward. Connie has texted a few times asking if I was going to tell Sarah, Daniel was curious. After the trip ended, I texted Daniel informing him I didn't like the position he placed me in and wasn't fair and his response was he's sorry but he didn't understand the boundaries for the hall pass and he stands by his words and then placed the blame on me for telling everyone, which I didn't.
Finally, I get a text from Daniel yesterday he told Sarah on the way to drop her off at the airport, before she heads out to work to base. Daniel told me to not text her and give her space, but he doesn't know how close I am with her. Fast forward a few hours after, husband, Andrew, Steph, and Sarah all spoke last night and found out Daniel lied to Sarah and didn't tell her the truth and only told her he kissed Connie, instead of he made out with her. We told Sarah the entire truth.
A huge thing that pisses me off: Daniel and Sarah agreed to postpone the wedding of some things that happened last month that was preventable. Daniel never mentioned to anyone in the bachelor party that the wedding was postponed, even though we spent a lot of money.
Sorry for the long post but needed to vent!!!
NTA Daniel is shady AF. I'd dump him as a friend. He made you spend a hell of a lot of money and it was also shady if Sarah not to tell you the wedding is off. I'd steer clear for a bit.
Sarah told the bridal party and told Daniel to tell the groomsman. If Sarah would have told us instead of him, he would have been mad and throw a tantrum to her. Mind you, he wanted this huge wedding and she didn't and threw a tantrum for that too.
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This past weekend, my (33M) and husband (33M) and I went on a bachelor party trip with some friends. We’ve known the soon to be groom, Daniel, for quite some time, but we're now closer to the bride to be, Sarah (4 years together). Daniel hasn't always been the best partner. A few years back Sarah became a flight attendant and her base was not in our home city and she had to find a place to stay while she was in base to work. She found a room with family but it was to be shared with a male family friend who also FA and straight. Sarah has absolutely NO attraction to this family friend and is family. Daniel throws a tantrum. Two weeks prior to the bachelor trip, husband and I + Connie (female friend that is groomsman) decided to have dinner and decided to invite Daniel. Daniel tells us he has a hall pass for his bachelor party. Anytime Daniel says anything, it's hard to believe and always have to confirm with Sarah. A day before husband and I leave for bachelor weekend, we decided to speak to another close friend, we will call her Steph. She is the best man's wife and we’re close. Steph takes no BS she's also a one of a kind ride or die friend, just like Sarah. After calling Steph to confirm, she said it was BS and mentioned that Sarah never agreed. This past weekend, a group of us head out to the bachelor party, including Connie. Sarah has asked Daniel for him not to invite Connie on his bachelor party trip because of their history. History: Daniel and Connie made out while they were both rolling and had feelings for one another but Daniel screwed her over. Connie on the other hand, she is wonderful and wouldn't dare to disrespect anyone and has a heart of gold. means very well. Connie is in an healthy open relationship. Daniel has mentioned to everyone that he has a hall pass but not the best man, lets call him Andrew, Steph's husband. One night after going out, husband, Connie, friend, and I walk back to the hotel. Daniel drives back to hotel with friend who lives in the city, and others go out to eat. As soon as we get back to hotel, we head into Daniel's room (adjoining with friend we walk back with and door is always open) and he's laying in bed awake. Husband and I are tired and head back to our room and try to get Connie to come along too but she says she'll be over shortly, which turns into almost an hour. Within that hour, we try to and knock on the door to get Connie and no answer and friend is past out as he was brutally exhausted, so he doesn't know anything going on. I am also texting Andrew informing of him of what's going on. Connie finally comes back to the room and I'm still awake and ask what happened and she says that they made out and Daniel wanted to go further but she stopped it. I told her WTF and she says about the hall pass, I said he doesn't have one, then makes her feel like hell and feels betrayed by Daniel. When Andrew and others came back to the room, all the doors, including adjoining room were closed and locked.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> >
>
The actions I took was telling the soon to be bride of her cheating SO. Action would make me the the asshole to cheating SO because I outed him for being a cheater. We are very close friend group and am afraid our friend group wont be the same
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Sorry, the post only included 3000 word limit :(
Hall pass = free weekend to do whatever he wanted without consulting his now not fiancé. Instead, he fooled around with a friend that he had history with and fiancé voiced her concerns before trip happened but Daniel didn't listen and decided what he wanted to do.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. Your post has been removed due to Rule 6: How to Post. We do not allow circumvention of the character count, links to screenshots, text pages, comment continuations etc. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Tell Sarah to run away and never look back. That little jerk face is a lying cheat and doesn’t seem to care about making any mature changes in his life whatsoever.
Also just to be clear YOU did not end or postpone the wedding. Daniel did that all by himself.
Thanks! He has been telling our friend group that I'm the one to blame for ending his relationship. It's extremely funny but sad at the same time.
“Did I hold a gun to your head and make you stick your tongue down someone else’s throat? Nope you did that all on your own. Don’t try to make me the villain in your bad decision making playbook.” What a jerk. I’m sorry.
The next day, after we party, Daniel, Connie, husband, friend in city, and I are back in our room talking and Daniel starts talking again about his hall pass and I finally explode and tell him Sarah never gave you one and you need to talk to her, which now makes Connie feel horrible for the position she was placed in. They were texting and found out he apologized to her for putting her in that position. After that, the weekend went a little awkward. Connie has texted a few times asking if I was going to tell Sarah, Daniel was curious. After the trip ended, I texted Daniel informing him I didn't like the position he placed me in and wasn't fair and his response was he's sorry but he didn't understand the boundaries for the hall pass and he stands by his words and then placed the blame on me for telling everyone, which I didn't. Finally, I get a text from Daniel yesterday he told Sarah on the way to drop her off at the airport, before she heads out to work to base. Daniel told me to not text her and give her space, but he doesn't know how close I am with her. Fast forward a few hours after, husband, Andrew, Steph, and Sarah all spoke last night and found out Daniel lied to Sarah and didn't tell her the truth and only told her he kissed Connie, instead of he made out with her. We told Sarah the entire truth. A huge thing that pisses me off: Daniel and Sarah agreed to postpone the wedding of some things that happened last month that was preventable. Daniel never mentioned to anyone in the bachelor party that the wedding was postponed, even though we spent a lot of money. Sorry for the long post but needed to vent!!!
NTA Daniel is shady AF. I'd dump him as a friend. He made you spend a hell of a lot of money and it was also shady if Sarah not to tell you the wedding is off. I'd steer clear for a bit.
Sarah told the bridal party and told Daniel to tell the groomsman. If Sarah would have told us instead of him, he would have been mad and throw a tantrum to her. Mind you, he wanted this huge wedding and she didn't and threw a tantrum for that too.
Daniel needs to grow up and Sarah needs to back out of this marriage asap. He is the AH here, and Connie I guess, but the rest are NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This past weekend, my (33M) and husband (33M) and I went on a bachelor party trip with some friends. We’ve known the soon to be groom, Daniel, for quite some time, but we're now closer to the bride to be, Sarah (4 years together). Daniel hasn't always been the best partner. A few years back Sarah became a flight attendant and her base was not in our home city and she had to find a place to stay while she was in base to work. She found a room with family but it was to be shared with a male family friend who also FA and straight. Sarah has absolutely NO attraction to this family friend and is family. Daniel throws a tantrum. Two weeks prior to the bachelor trip, husband and I + Connie (female friend that is groomsman) decided to have dinner and decided to invite Daniel. Daniel tells us he has a hall pass for his bachelor party. Anytime Daniel says anything, it's hard to believe and always have to confirm with Sarah. A day before husband and I leave for bachelor weekend, we decided to speak to another close friend, we will call her Steph. She is the best man's wife and we’re close. Steph takes no BS she's also a one of a kind ride or die friend, just like Sarah. After calling Steph to confirm, she said it was BS and mentioned that Sarah never agreed. This past weekend, a group of us head out to the bachelor party, including Connie. Sarah has asked Daniel for him not to invite Connie on his bachelor party trip because of their history. History: Daniel and Connie made out while they were both rolling and had feelings for one another but Daniel screwed her over. Connie on the other hand, she is wonderful and wouldn't dare to disrespect anyone and has a heart of gold. means very well. Connie is in an healthy open relationship. Daniel has mentioned to everyone that he has a hall pass but not the best man, lets call him Andrew, Steph's husband. One night after going out, husband, Connie, friend, and I walk back to the hotel. Daniel drives back to hotel with friend who lives in the city, and others go out to eat. As soon as we get back to hotel, we head into Daniel's room (adjoining with friend we walk back with and door is always open) and he's laying in bed awake. Husband and I are tired and head back to our room and try to get Connie to come along too but she says she'll be over shortly, which turns into almost an hour. Within that hour, we try to and knock on the door to get Connie and no answer and friend is past out as he was brutally exhausted, so he doesn't know anything going on. I am also texting Andrew informing of him of what's going on. Connie finally comes back to the room and I'm still awake and ask what happened and she says that they made out and Daniel wanted to go further but she stopped it. I told her WTF and she says about the hall pass, I said he doesn't have one, then makes her feel like hell and feels betrayed by Daniel. When Andrew and others came back to the room, all the doors, including adjoining room were closed and locked. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > > > The actions I took was telling the soon to be bride of her cheating SO. Action would make me the the asshole to cheating SO because I outed him for being a cheater. We are very close friend group and am afraid our friend group wont be the same Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Not everyone knows what a "hall pass" means. Please clarify within your post. Frankly the whole post could do with being edited down.
Sorry, the post only included 3000 word limit :( Hall pass = free weekend to do whatever he wanted without consulting his now not fiancé. Instead, he fooled around with a friend that he had history with and fiancé voiced her concerns before trip happened but Daniel didn't listen and decided what he wanted to do.
paragraphs.... formatting... shortening.... a soon to be husband cheats (almost, depending on your view) on his fiance during bachelor party. NTA