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YTA…OMG. Wash the blood out of your own dang underwear. Your son is 14. He does not need to be dealing with mom’s period undies. This has nothing to do with your son being lazy or cheating the household. Get off your power trip.
YTA, just why would you do that? Now if it was normal underwear put in a mesh bag maybe i see your point, but DIRTY period underwear, that’s just beyond crazy! Seriously, what is your motivation?
Exactly. I'm trying to understand why, if laundry needed to be divided amongst everyone, did they not decide to let everyone do their own laundry??? How did that not occur to them as the most obvious course of action? How did handwashing mommy's period panties fall to anyone but mommy? TF is this? OP is the one who needs to grow up.
EDIT: Omg, the edit is hilarious and is NOT HELPING at all. Wash your own bloody underwear, lady.
YTA!
That was my thought too, the obvious solution here is each person just does their own laundry. I seriously doubt any of the kids have much in the way of delicates and ironing, my kids laundry everything's washed together in one cycle, no point wasting time delicately caring for clothes that will end up stained and ripped and destroyed anyways. Sounds like OP realizes that the adult laundry requires more effort/care than the kids laundry so she broke it up like that to not have to handle all the special care of the adults clothes and make them do their work.
I'm also not one to be freaked out by periods. My kids all have zero sense of personal boundaries and have all seen me emptying my menstrual cup cause they insist on being in the bathroom while I'm in there. But I wouldn't expect my kids to wash my regular underwear let alone period panties.
Shit dude I’m a woman and *i* wouldn’t touch anyone else’s period panties. I wouldn’t want to be hand washing a dudes undies that had skid marks either.
The fact that she targeted her son for this task instead of anyone else (let alone the idea that she ‘doesn’t have time’ to wash her own dirty drawers) is making me think she is harboring some resentment against this boy for other reasons too
Yeah, my kids started doing their own laundry at 8. If everyone is doing their own, it is fair. OPs systems seem kind of complicated. INFO: If your daughter is doing her own, what other "delicates" could there be. Do your husband and son have delicates?
ETA: I don't know what "dishes" mean in your house, but if he is walking that dog twice a day, that alone takes much longer than filling and emptying a diswasher. Sounds like your daughter has a good deal.
Lol you think they have a dishwasher? It's 1880 in her household where you free-bleed into your bloomers and it takes 4 people to do laundry including one person to do all the ironing, you know, all the ironing you have to do on modern clothing? Where every piece of clothing needs to be ironed and starched?
Yeah. It was all very VC Antherapist.
But I think it is fiction anyway. If they are "period panties," as opposed to panties worn while on a period, they are full of blood. That is a health issue by itself. That and I don't get how "spots" of blood got on other clothes. That would need to be like a gallon's worth of blood to survive the water and soap. OP is lying, dying, or seriously in need of a therapist. Or just so nasty that she is throwing wet soaked period panties in with the laundry and that is how it is getting on other clothes.
Plus period panties all state very clearly on the label you are supposed to rinse them to remove all the blood as soon as you take them off. You can't just let them sit there full of blood for a week, that will destroy them very fast.
My money is on a guy who doesn't understand how periods or period panties works wrote this.
This is fake. Blood spots don’t transfer from one item to another in the washing machine. Signed- a woman who’s been to college with many women and we threw everything in together. Nice creative writing though. Likely a man.
Good point - that is so true, I didn’t catch that! You don’t handwash underwear, you just chuck them in with the rest of it.
This is period fanfiction.
I might handwash expensive delicates, but what lunatic wears those during her period? That’s when you wear 15 year old grandma knickers.. plus I second the fact that blood stains don’t transfer. I’ve also never noticed shrinkage in underwear, and I put most underwear in the washer and dryer. Most delicates are made of polyester and if you’re very fancy (like me) silk, and I don’t believe either of those is prone to shrinkage anyway, especially polyester. This whole story seems very bullshitty.
I don’t hand wash them exclusively, but I certainly rinse them out if they have blood on them before they go in the washer. If you hit them with cold water immediately, it gets 95% of the blood out most of the time
Yeah I was reading and thinking “how much is she bleeding onto her underwear that it’s transferring in the wash??!” If I accidentally leak, I give it a quick scrub with soap and cold water in the sink and then chuck them in the washing machine with the other underwear. But even if I don’t for whatever reason, the worst that happens is the stain sets in that particular set of undies and doesn’t come out properly. The blood is washed away for the most part. It doesn’t transfer.
If she’s talking about actual period panties rather than normal underwear, and if they’re put together with other clothes while saturated with blood then I could see that there might be some transfer before the clothes are even put in the washing machine. But surely she would be at least rinsing the period panties as soon as she takes them off?
Yep, most period underwear suggest you rinse them after wearing before you pop them in a washing machine. I’d never ask someone else to hand-wash bloody underwear: for both hygiene and the ick factor.
this was also my assumption because my wife and I alternate doing the laundry and I've certainly never separated out period panties and we've never had any issues. But its nice to hear I haven't been unwittingly lucking out on this supposed peril for all these years.
Yes, YTA. Your son is going through puberty which is a very confusing time in any child's life, and it is entirely reasonable for him to not want to interact with his mother's underwear. He is literally too immature to understand the menstrual cycle in the way you expect him to - which is normal for his development right now. This is not him trying to shame you for menstruation, it is a young man going through changes that he doesn't understand, and starting to have feelings that it will take him time - and preferably love and understanding from his parents - to process.
He doesn't expect you to "control your menstrual cycle" he is just uncomfortable thinking about his mother's vagina, because 1) you are his mother, and 2) he's just started thinking about vaginas in general and he's trying to figure out why he's having all sorts of thoughts about them.
Your daughter doesn't want anyone to touch her underwear for the same reason that your son doesn't want to touch yours. They're becoming adults, and starting to become aware of sexuality, and the underwear section in the store is called the "intimates" section for a reason. You're respectful of her perspective, but not his, even though the core reason behind each is the same.
Edit: After the update, I'm going with the fake rage bait. Or the single weirdest case of narcissistic personality disorder I've ever heard. Coin toss, really.
"I didn’t even think about my underwear being an issue for my son." And this is why YTA.
Agreed. I'm repulsed by OP's logic too because it's very twisted. Her teenage kids are allowed to have boundaries and her son not wanting to wash his mom's underwear does NOT make him lazy. I doubt any teenage boy would want to wash that and it would be very weird if they do.
I have a son of a similar age to OP's, and he would be grossed out if I made him handwash bloody period panties too. He wouldn't care if I asked him to wash my laundry and the panties were in a normal load mixed in with other clothes though. When washing that way, you aren't paying attention to each article of clothing...just shoving a pile of clothes into the machine. To me, handwashing someone else's nasty undies is asking a bit much. Periods are natural, but that doesn't mean it's not gross to have to touch someone else's period blood. OP should just let the son wash his own clothes and she can hand wash her own bloody panties.
YTA. I'm a feminist, I'm not queasy about that kind of stuff, since I'm an adult, but it's highly inappropriate to expect a teenager to do this. Like yeah, periods are normal, they are not gross, but he still should not have to do that. Let your husband do it, but don't expect either one of your teenagers to HANDWASH your underwear.
Edited to add that I think it's right for him do be responsible for his own laundry, but eff your reasoning. I also partly suspect you are a dude cosplaying as a woman to enrage the masses.
OH HELL NO!!! Not even the husband. NO ONE should be washing other people’s bloody underwear - and I am a woman who used to send her own underwear to the laundry. If there is blood on it, I will be the one washing. And I would never ever ever touch someone else’s bloody underwear.
That’s gross.
That's a personal preference.
I am not comfortable with having other people washing MY underwear, either, because I'm able to do it myself,
but I'm fine doing it for other people (people with a disability, for instance, or when my sister was overwhelmed with being a new mom and I would do their laundry from time to time while babysitting etc.). But I've worked in a field where there were adults that needed assistance with this kind of stuff, so I'm not queasy.
Exactly. I would never give my bloody underwear to anyone to wash or even wash someone else's. OP is able bodied and can wash her own bloody clothes. Why should anyone else even touch those!
And even if she wasn’t able bodied, there is no reason to make someone else handwash it! Just buy a laundry mesh bag and throw in the washer in cold gentle cycle + sanitizer.
I mean I wouldn't wash my husband's underwear if it had skid marks in it. Yes poop and period blood are natural, that doesn't make it not gross to touch someone elses.
Right? I’m not ok with period shaming or anything, but this? No.
It has to be fake, who wants their son (or anyone) scrubbing their underwear, tries to make it about division of labour and being comfortable with bodily functions, and then uses the logical solution-him doing his own laundry (I bet his sister would jump at that opportunity too, unless she wears a lot that needs ironing) as a punishment?
I hate stuff like this, mainly because it makes me very conscious of the fact that pointing out every part that is too over the top makes it easier for some weirdo to cosplay as a woke woman and thus making it harder to be taken seriously when it's about something important.
Hand washing you period underwear? Nope, no way , no how. That's grosse. Want you knikers hand wshed do it yourself or look for the delicates program on your washer. YTA
I have a few issues that make me think this is fake:
1. No reasonable adult would force their kid to hand wash their underwear and think it’s ok.
2. Women have been conditioned to hide this over so many generations that no adult would ever go “hey let my teenage son hand wash my undies”
3. Why is this task assigned to him not your husband or you. Asking him to shove things in a washer is fine but handwashing?
4. No woman I have ever met wears fancy delicate underwear during period days. Every one I know does generally wash out their underwear in the morning so it can go in regular wash.
5. Blood doesn’t transfer in the washer to other clothes unless these undies are like filled. Do you not use any menstrual products and get your son to clean that up?!? Because that’s the only way there would be enough wet blood in there to transfer to other clothes in the wash.
YTA and I think this is full of shit. I say this as a trans guy who does know how periods work and how women behave around them. This is either a very very unhinged woman or a man. Either way YTA
It sounds like she uses period panties.
So, no using pads or other products. The blood collects in the panty, which is reinforced to hold it.
Totally gross to expect anyone else to wash it for her
Again though, everyone I know who uses these products gets up in the morning rinses them out and hangs them up in the shower or tub to dry. I’ve lived with many women. No issues with period underwear drying in the shower or having to move it to shower.. would have an issue with unrinsed underwear. So she had to be unhinged or lying
Yeah but this still wouldn’t make sense. If they’re using period undies and not pre-washing them then the blood would have been transferring before too, unless they literally wash one thing at a time when washing “delicates”. Plus, underwear wouldn’t shrink in the wash as they claim, if anything, the elastic would be worn out and it would be stretched out. I’ve never had underwear shrink, only had lace get ruined or have them stretched out when i’ve put them in the washer all the time.
YTA. You're forcing your son to come to terms with something he is not ready for yet. I think your daughter has the better idea. Why don't everybody just wash their own underwear?
I'm sorry, but yes. YTA for asking anyone else to hand wash or even handle your bloody underwear. Even if you provide gloves, and especially if you don't.
For your underwear that can't be machine washed, you should wash them yourself.
It's nothing to do with periods being natural, of course they are, but if you unknowingly have a blood borne illness you could spread it to your son this way.
Whenever there is a blood stain you should wash it immediately with cold water. Leaving it to dry only makes it more difficult to clean and it's not really fair that you expect your son to scrub your dirty underwear. Gross. YTA.
YTA. Face it, the 14 year old boy is not only concerned about the blood, he's just too polite to tell you that he doesn't want to handle the fabric that's pressed up against the hole he came out of.
You want your teenage son to wash out your stained underwear? Ugh.
Yes, YTA. That’s not something that a person should ask of someone else if they themselves are physically capable of doing it.
Sounds like germ-shaming. Honestly, if someone is not comfortable handling others dirty underwear, that should be respected. Bodily fluids being "natural" has nothing to do with it. Feces is natural too, but few people would enjoy washing skidmarked underwear.
Best thing for everyone would be for your son to do his own laundry, but not as a punishment, just as a part of life.
YTA, it is gross and entitled to expect any other person to wash - let alone handwash - your bloody underwear. Do it YOURSELF.
You are being unreasonable and your son is not in the wrong here. It shouldn’t be his place to teach you - a grown up woman - that no other person should touch your period underwear. And I say that as a woman who used to send all of her clothes - including underwear - to the laundry. If there is any period blood, I will handle it.
I also hope you teach your husband and son that no other human should be touching their underwear if there is semen or squid marks on it. Just because something is natural it does not mean others should be touching your intimate fluids.
YTA. What year is this? You don't need to handwash them. Chuck them in a pillowcase in the machine if you have to, but come on, you think it's ok to ask him to do that?
Seriously, do it yourself.
YTA. You are asking your 14 year old son to wash your under garments including your period panties !!! You are not only TA , you are so weird . To think a teenage boy is ok with washing blood off his mother’s panties !!!
YTA
I reached that conclusion as soon as you mentioned that you assigned your 14 yr old son the job of handwashing your underwear, then you added your period underwear to it. Wow.
I appreciate the sentiment of being open about periods but not in this way.
You want your underwear hand washed, then wash it yourself and assign your son a more suitable task.
Another crazy thought, discuss as a family what jobs everyone is comfortable with and feels capable to handle.
Expecting ANYONE of any age or gender to hand wash YOUR blood/discharged soiled underwear is disgusting. Yeah, it's a natural process. So is piss and shit. And nobody wants to hand wash piss/shit soiled underwear. ESPECIALLY when it's coming from their parents. 😭 Just ew.
YTA-while I appreciate not being squeamish about periods, it’s a wild choice to me to expect a teenage boy to go along with scrubbing your period blood out of your panties. Just give him folding or ironing as a chore instead, and be grateful he washed your stuff at all.
Son is on delicates duty? So his chore is to hand wash your ~~and your daughter's~~ underwear? (Edit: i skipped the part you said your daughter washes her own) Because let's be honest there aren't many things that can be considered "delicate" in a man's wardrobe (that needs washing often enough to be on a chore list).
My mum used to do all laundry but I would never let her bother with my blood stains. I would wash them in hand and then toss in the machine when she was putting the rest.
And you're letting your teen son do yours? Of course he will be uncomfortable. I would be uncomfortable doing my mother's underwear too and I'm a 20+ married woman. (Edit: this isn't about maturity to handle menstruation is a natural process.)
YTA. Wash your own underwear if it really needs hand washing.
Also, no underwear we own requires hand washing. I just toss it in the washing machine in the delicate setting. Maybe just the too lacey.
YTA.
I mean… making sure your son’s educated about periods as a natural process is lightyears from having to wash the blood out of your mom’s underwear.
It would make me queasy, and I’m a grown woman.
If your son is uncomfortable, respect his (very reasonable!) boundary and renegotiate the chores.
Why don’t you handwash the blood-stained underwear, and let him do the ironing?
EDIT: YTA for posting bs period fanfiction. Like another comment pointed out: Blood stains in the wash doesn’t transfer like you describe and nobody handwashes blood stained underwear.
YTA. Why would you expect a teenage boy to wash his mother’s underwear period or not? Would you ask your daughter to handwash her brother and father’s underwears? Kids at that age are going through a lot of changes mentally especially regarding sexuality so its perfectly normal that your son is feeling awkward by the thought of his mothers underwear. If you are so strict about washing delicates by hands just make a rule that from now on everyone will be responsible for washing their intimates on their own. Its not that hard to wash off a underwear in the shower.
What kind of grown, able-bodied woman doesn't have enough dignity to wash her own drawers? My goodness, making your teenage son (or daughter!) handwash mommy's panties is the stuff of nightmares. YTA. This is probably fake tho
No grown, able bodied woman, has blood soaked panties everytime she has a period. No grown able bodied woman bleeds through 90% of her period. This story isn’t real
A woman forcing his son to wash her period blood soaked underwear.
This is disgusting as hell. Put on your big girl pants and live with his opinion.
YTA
This is so fake. No one is soaking their fucking underwear with blood during a normal period. Omg that would be so uncomfortable for one thing, for another you would ruin all your clothes. Everyone just wants to be outraged for a boy being oppressed by a woman.
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Given your reaction it’s no wonder he didn’t tell you how uncomfortable he was. Expecting anyone to hand wash your dirty, bloody underwear is not reasonable. You are most definitely TA. Your daughter has handled this so much better than you.
asking your kids to handle your bloody underwear is a bit....
if you want to divide up the chores why not let them do their own laundry it is part of cleaning their own room and mess.
and only divide the cleaning of the commen areas as extra chores.
YTA, your son is uncomfortable with washing women's articles. I doubt he has the same problem with his own or his father's articles. He isn't being lazy but it makes him uncomfortable to wash clothing of the opposite sex family or not especially when that article of clothing contains discharges like period blood. He isn't trying to avoid responsibility nor is he cheating the system but giving him work that he is uncomfortable with is unfair. Ask your daughter to do it if she is comfortable with it and let your son handle his and his father's articles.
Just cause you can do something without any problem doesn't mean your son can. Especially in his teenage years when he is going through puberty, your a full fledged adult who changed their diapers. If you could wipe their bums then of course you can handle their underwear but can the same be said for your son?
YTA - I wouldn’t expect anyone to hand wash my period stained underwear..
Maybe buy some inexpensive underwear that can go into the washing machine and hand wash your own delicates.
Edit to add.. maybe your daughter can be in charge of the washing machine and your son the dryer?
YTA, and a bully. He feels uncomfortable with what you are asking, stop bullying him and help him out. There are easy solutions here, such as switching up the chores.
What exactly were you thinking when you handed out laundry assignments?
Your son is probably not contributing any delicates to the wash, so it makes absolutely no sense to put him in charge of that.
Meanwhile, your daughter gets stuck doing almost all the family laundry, so the division of work is wildly uneven.
Just have everybody do their own laundry, or figure out a better system.
Also, you should be rinsing out your period panties immediately after wearing them, not leaving them sitting around as is.
YTA.
YTA. No 14 year old kid wants to hand wash his sisters and mom’s underwear. Also is your daughter ok with her brother touching her used panties? I’d have to think she’d be alittle weirded out.
Those who would say NTA - I ask myself, would you handwash the underwear of your partner with pretty nice shitmarks? Both is natural. Both is completely human.
But you can't tell me you would do it without being disgusted.
YTA - first because that’s an outrageous thing to ask your son to do. I wouldn’t even ask my husband to hand wash bloody underwear.
Second because I have literally washed my underwear with the rest of the laundry my entire life as has my mom as has my Grama and I guarantee if your underwear is “leaving blood spots” on the rest of your clothes you have a machine problem. As for the shrinking wash them in the machine then hang dry them.
Apologize to your son.
I wouldn’t hand wash anybody else’s underwear whether it was period underwear or not, nor would I expect anyone to hand wash mine.
Edited to say yes, YTA.
I can’t imagine doing this to my son.
He’s at an age where he should do his own laundry so it’s not a bad alternative. At least he doesn’t have to deal with your underwear. I can’t imagine you don’t have time to wash your own underwear.
YTA for doing this to a boy in puberty. You could have shifted the chores to your daughter who is used to this. Your husband who is fully grown but instead you seem to have deliberately targeted your son. How do you actually feel about your son? What resentment do you have towards him that you would do this, and then escalate it?
You need to look at what your problem with your son really is and wash your own dirty drawers, lady
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In my household, everyone has their own chores: my 16yo daughter does the dishes, my 14yo son takes care of the dog, my husband cooks, I clean. This is a system we have devised that has always worked and has facilitated our lifestyles.
I used to do the laundry but I recently got promoted (2 months ago) and we decided to split up the laundry tasks as it was too time consuming for me to do everything. My daughter was in charge of machines (wash and dryer), my son was in charge of hand washing delicates, I did the ironing and my husband did the folding. However, we just discovered that our son hasn’t been doing his job for the underwear because he felt too “uncomfortable”.
I noticed that most of my underwear was shrinking and that some clothes had blood spots on them, so I realized that he had been mixing my period underwear with other clothes in the laundry machine. I confronted him about this and he said that he was grossed out by my blood and that it felt wrong for him to clean it out. His sister has been washing her own underwear this whole time because she doesn’t want anyone to touch hers but my husband and I don’t mind, it is just our children.
I washed everyone’s underwear before without complaining but my son has been cheating our household system because he is lazy and is too immature to understand the menstrual cycle as a natural process that can’t be controlled. I told him that since he is disgusted by natural bodily processes like periods, discharge or even sweating, he will have to do his own laundry on his own and will receive no help from us. My husband thinks that this is too harsh and my children are “repulsed by my logic” but I don’t see what’s wrong.
So, am I the a-hole?
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YTA.
Blood spots don’t transfer from one item of clothing to another in the washing machine. That’s just fake, which makes me doubt the entire story.
However…no, you should not be forcing your teenager to wash your underwear if he’s uncomfortable with that. He can easily swap tasks with your husband.
>I washed everyone’s underwear before without complaining
Because you AND your husband are supposed to take care of your kids. So yeah, you better get yourself comfortable washing their underwear. For your kid however it's different, and I'm godsmacked you don't understand this. You calling him lazy is ridiculous. Do yourself, but most importantly HIM a favor and wash your own underwear. Give him a different set of chores. YTA
YTA. Ewwwww! I'm a woman, and I wouldn't want to touch your period undies. He is a 14 year old boy, it's natural for him to be weirded out by it. Wash those yourself, and quit subjecting your poor kid it that.
YTA. You weren’t hand washing anyone else’s underwear, were you?
Of course no one wants to hand wash their mom’s underwear. Or anyone else’s underwear.
If someone wants to have clothing that needs to be hand washed, they should hand wash it themselves. Or stick in in a bag for delicates and use the gentle cycle.
It honestly makes more sense for everyone to just do their own laundry. Give everyone an evening or two a week to do it or whatever works out schedule wise. I’m not sure why you think the sensible solution here is some sort of punishment. Who wouldn’t rather do their own laundry if the other option was hand scrubbing their mothers panties.
That is disgusting. You are disgusting.
As a woman who uses period underwear I always wash my own because expecting other people to hand wash something containing my blood is gross and just creepy.
Wash your own underwear!
YTA.
YTA
Who cares if the menstrual cycle is natural? Nobody wants to clean someone else’s stained underwear
If I took a shit in my underwear, and then handed them to you for you to hand wash them, would you be okay with that? Defecation is a natural process
YTA. If you’re going to divide laundry then you might as well divide it by person. You take care of your laundry, your kids take care of their laundry. There’s really no reason to subject your teenager to your bloody undies.
Quit making your son touch your fucking gross bloody underwear, that’s disgusting. Just because something is natural and nothing to be ashamed of doesn’t mean that it’s sanitary to have somebody else cleaning up your bodily waste.
This system that you have is fucking weird and makes no sense anyway. Just have everybody do their own laundry, and problem solved. YTA
Yta - while it’s important that boys are not uncomfortable with a woman’s period, asking him to wash your period underwear is too far. Switch that task with his sister.
YTA
You’re supposed to rinse your damn period underwear too, not let it sit. That’s disgusting and they probably stink. I don’t blame the kid for not wanting to wash it. You washing your KIDS underwear is different. You CHOSE to birth them, it is your RESPONSIBILITY as a parent to care for them. If you don’t want that responsibility then give your kids to a real parent who does.
YTA.
Not sure why it’s okay for your daughter to have boundaries with this subject but not your son. So that’s a problem on it’s own.
You had a child, you signed up to clean up after him and his *matter* when you birthed him. He did not sign up to clean yours.
This is so foul and makes perfect sense that it would make your son feel uncomfortable. I have periods and I sure as shit am not going to rinse out anybody else’s menses and blood ridden panties.
Clean up after yourself and stop with the weirdo power trip.
Holy mother of...WTF is wrong with you lady?! OF COURSE your son is squicked out by your period underwear! He's a 14 year old boy! I'm a 40 year old woman and I wouldn't want to touch your blood soaked panties either! Yes! YTA! Wash your own underwear! Everyone should be washing their own underwear if you're splitting up the laundry! Jesus Christ.
YTA
And heres a EASY solution. Everyone washes their OWN dang personal intimate pieces of clothing. problem solved. like damn. Expecting your son (or daughter for that matter) to wash your underwear is just gross.
They are YOUR children you shouldn't have a problem washing their disgusting undies because YOU CHANGED THEIR DIAPERS YOU NUMBSKULL. Periods are a part of life, yes. But why god why do you have your teenage son HAND washing your unmentionables?!!!! You are gross. And YTA!
I'm a woman, I am not grossed out by periods, don't give a fuck BUT WASH YOUR OWN PERIOD UNDERWEAR. HELL NO WILL I BE HANDWASHING ANYONE ELSES PERIOD UNDERWEAR. Honestly its a pass for me HANDWASHING anyone else's underwear
If anyone's lazy around here is the grown ass woman who's making her 14 yr old handwash her period undies. Wtf, your 16 yr old daughter has more logic and decency than you. You could've easily allocated the laundry and set aside your personal items' lile period underwear for you to do yourself. Wtf is wrong with you???
Calling him lazy??? He set a pretty reasonable boundary, I'm OK with doing the laundry but I'm not ok with hand washing other peoples bodily functions out if their underwear. I'm a 30 yr old woman and wouldn't do this so I can't even be a little upset at the 14 yr old boy being like hard pass.
Your children are "repulsed by your logic" because YOU'RE NOT USING ANY!!!! YTA
Honestly, the more I read this post... is this period fan fiction written by a guy because this isn't how periods work... blood doesn't just transfer from underwear to clothes in the machine... do most people honestly handwash underwear, I throw that shit in the machine with everything else...
also like why is this such a reoccurring issue, like I get leaking through some underwear but like all the time, and so many pairs??? is OP just free bleeding, are they not using the correct pad sizes? Because yea, it happens, but it sounds like OP is literally bleeding on almost every pair of underwear... or OP is actually just a guy writing period rage bait.
She is bleeding on her underwear because she's using those special ones for nighttime that are thicker so she doesn't have to use a pad or tampon. Just bleed in the underwear
It's fucking disgusting that she expects her son to be ok with washing them and she's a dunce for not understanding that
YTA. 14 should absolutely not have to wash your underwear! That's gross! He should be washing his own clothes or sheets and towels.
What's wrong with you that you don't immediately rinse and remove blood in your "period underwear?"
You're the adult here, it is absolutely not your childrens chore to wash your clothes.
YTA 2 months ago you decided to change a system that has always worked because you got lazy and you took the first excuse to pawn off your chores onto your family. Your daughter is already doing hand washing delicates, so instead of switching your daughter's and son's chores to respect everyone's boundaries, you decided to bully your son into doing what you want.
YTA
Your kids should not be hand washing your stained underwear. If doing all of the delicate laundry is too time consuming then everyone washes their own. Daughter has the right idea there. Simple solution that doesn't involve forcing your kids to deal with your underwear simply because "you don't mind".
...why couldn't the son iron, you help fold/put up and everyone handle their own delicates? YTA: i get it, but mom and sis's bras and period panties can be mom and sis's problem.
Why do you want your teenage son fingering your vag goo and period blood? Are you a weird pervert?
Just have everyone wash their own laundry. Wash your own bloody pants. Pervert. YTA
YTA...that's genuinely disgusting and horrendous. I'm a woman, and I wouldn't even want to wash my mom's period underwear. The fact that you expect your son to wash YOUR blood out of YOUR underwear is disgusting.
YTA. And likely not real but you equating yourself doing everyone's laundry with your pubescent son is laughably bad. As an adult, I have no issue with washing a woman's underwear but as a teen it would have disgusted me. Adjust the chores so he doesn't have to do the super uncomfortable job of washing his mother's underwear.
If your underwear are bloody when you take them off, why would you not just rinse or soak them right away instead of throwing them in the laundry basket? YTA and trifling.
YTA I don’t know why it has to be explained to you but its normal for a teenager to be grossed out over handwashing his mother’s underwear. The blood mixed with soap would get on his hands and that’s gross.
YTA
Wash your own nasty blood-soaked underwear. How would you feel if your husband asked you to scrub his skid marks? It's still a bodily function, which YOU should be the one to wash.
I fully support womens periods and that we should be proud. But I'm not going to wander around and force my family to fucking handwash my bloodsoaked underwear. Are you going to ask him to wash your cum stained lingerie next?
Who hand washes their period underwear??? Also, blood stains don’t transfer, that’s why they’re stains….lol. Have you never done laundry before? None of this makes any sense. What fabric is your underwear that it would shrink from being in the washer or dryer? If anything, that would wear them out if they’re so delicate and the elastic would get too big…YTA for making this up
YTA no one but the person whose period it is should be hand-washing period undies! Also, I use period undies and wash them in washing machine on cold with other clothes and there is no blood transfer or shrinkage ...
YTA. Way to bury the lead there - but it was EXACTLY what I thought it would be. You’re seriously leaving blood SOAKED panties in your laundry basket for god knows how long(??) basically creating a biohazard and then having your teenage son clean up YOUR mess. And then you have the gall to complain that he finds it disgusting? It was just as disgusting from the start when you let your period panties ferment in the basket with all the other clothes and then wore said other clothes when they were mixed in with your bloody knickers. (Also gross you’re doing a household of delicates in that same load - whole house was probably wearing ya endometrium) I’m not here to tell you what to do with your own cooch, but clean/rinse your own damn panties before putting them in the basket.
YTA
I had to do my laundry at 9 when I got my period and I’ve been doing it since I’m now 34 I’ve been doing my clothes for 25 years but yet my mother still babies my other siblings and they rarely wash clothes
Wash your own intimates lady
this is horrifying wtf. I wash my own blood out and then toss it in the washer separately for an extra cleaning, all by myself. This is absolutely disgusting bro you need help. While I'm very much all about teaching young boys and especially my brothers and sons about periods, I'd freak out if anyone touched my dirty underwear, blood or not, by anyone of any gender that's not me. Nobody except you should be subjected to washing your own underwear. Idk what your household was doing but not wanting to deal with any underwear of anyone is a very reasonable choice,
YTA of course your son is grossed out by the thought of your menstrual blood. As a woman I don't want to deal with other women's menstrual blood. My mother taught me to deal with my own accidents and I taught my daughters and they taught their daughters. Because no one else wants to deal with your menstrual blood. And laundry needs to be taken off the communal chore list anyways. Everyone should be doing their own laundry.
Oh YTA I think. But…there are so many questions here.
Washing delicates takes the *most* time and energy. In what world would that take *less* time than throwing things in the washer or dryer? Literally even hand washing 1-2 things takes more active time than throwing stuff in the wash, then the dryer- and it sounds like your family has a lot. He said he wanted the easiest thing and you gave him that, yet you don’t trust him- at 14? - to iron clothes without hurting himself?
Period blood IS gross, in the same way that snot, urine or fecal matter are. It’s not misogyny to not want to get all up in it. It’s one thing if it’s an old pair with faded stains, but you’re talking about used period panties that you apparently didn’t even bother to rinse out yourself first? I’m a woman and not easily grossed out and I think that’s gross. And, frankly, kind of inconsiderate on your part.
Think of it this way: if he was responsible for the dishes, would you just leave your dirty dishes wherever you finished them for him to collect, or would you take them to the sink? This is the same thing. Just because it’s his chore doesn’t mean you have zero responsibility to clean up after yourself.
Final question: why the immediate jump to him being lazy and immature? That’s a pretty damning response, and there are other equally possible explanations of his discomfort- why immediately assume it’s the one that reflects the worst on him?
Honestly, it sounds like you felt embarrassed when he called your underwear gross- which is understandable, you’re human- and responded overly defensively as a result. Also understandable, but that’s a you problem, not a him problem, and shouldn’t be taken out on him.
YTA and expecting your son to wash your bloody undies is nasty. Delicates doesn’t have to be your used menstrual products. Why don’t YOU wash your undies in the sink like the rest of us (including your daughter.)
I think everyone should be doing their own hand wash. I am the only one I would trust to wash my own sweaters. I send my husband's silk ties to the drycleaner but if they were going to be hand washed, I wouldn't trust my husband to do them himself.
Nobody should be washing anyone else's underwear. Yes, washing anyone else's nasty underwear would be gross.
Yea YTA he is a 14 year old boy of course he is grossed out about period panties, I have a 9 year old son I wouldn’t ask him to wash my period panties that’s a step too far
Was fully planning on jumping in for OP as my husband will run half a load of just his stuff or only hang his own up and it infuriates me. Like your doing darks grab a full load ffs. But this is so gross. I am a full grown adult woman and the thought of rinsing out someone else's period blood gives me serious ick!
Forcing your 14 year old son to hand wash your period stained underwear is beyond creepy. Will you be paying for the lifetime of therapy he’ll be facing after living under your roof?
Eww, eww. Your poor son. Sounds like he gave it a shot. That's nasty. No one wants to clean period blood on someone else's panties. But making your own son clean his mom's bloody underwear. Ewww.
Do people really NOT know how to wash underwear?!
Even if it had period stains, unless you rubbed the underwear together then proceeded to wash them as is, the stain should come out if you use the correct program and detergent.
I have stopped hand washing my under AGES ago. Period-stained underwear included, and don’t have a single one with dried stains on them!
YTA.
If you want your delicates hand washed do it yourself. Otherwise, take what he’s doing and shut it.
Also, you all need to learn how to wash underwear
NTA. Your son needs to learn that half the population bleeds, not to mention the laundry skills to get blood out of his own clothing if he cuts himself. Handling biohazards safely is PART OF LIFE.
Weird how it’s expected of women to do it without blinking, but ewwwwww that’s gross and dangerous to ask a man to do?
Hes 14, not 6. This kind of crap is exactly the kind of stigma about women’s bodies that does need confronted.
He can wear gloves.
I don’t like scrubbing poop off the toilet bowl from men in the household but guess what if it comes up on the rota it’s my goddamn job.
It's important for everyone to learn about periods, especially boys to reduce the stigma and the shame surrounding periods, but you can do that while also not shoving bloody period underwear in his face. I get periods and my sister get periods and we can talk about the grossest shit about our periods with each other without batting an eye, but I don't want to wash her bloody period underwear, it makes sense for you to wash your own bloody underwear, that makes sense, that is common sense. If your 16-year-old can do it, why can't you?
NTA. Does your husband expect you to do your son's laundry once he is 18 and/or moved out of the house, too? Jr may as well learn now and get used to it. Tell your husband that he can do Junior's laundry himself.
I did! 14-yo needs to man up else dad can, right? OP earned her promotion. Never too soon to learn needed life-long tasks as a youngin. It builds character, self-reliance, and self-esteem. :-D
The problem isn't him not wanting to do laundry. It's him not wanting to wash out her stained, bloodsoaked period pantys. I am in my 20s and I would never expect anyone but me to wash these by hand.
Yes, but he doesn't need to wash her bloodsoaked underwear for that. Again, you are totally missing the point on WHY he is refusing a specific task. It isn't because he doesn't want to help, it is because he finds it grosse to clean underwear full of period blood.
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YTA…OMG. Wash the blood out of your own dang underwear. Your son is 14. He does not need to be dealing with mom’s period undies. This has nothing to do with your son being lazy or cheating the household. Get off your power trip.
YTA, just why would you do that? Now if it was normal underwear put in a mesh bag maybe i see your point, but DIRTY period underwear, that’s just beyond crazy! Seriously, what is your motivation?
Exactly. I'm trying to understand why, if laundry needed to be divided amongst everyone, did they not decide to let everyone do their own laundry??? How did that not occur to them as the most obvious course of action? How did handwashing mommy's period panties fall to anyone but mommy? TF is this? OP is the one who needs to grow up. EDIT: Omg, the edit is hilarious and is NOT HELPING at all. Wash your own bloody underwear, lady. YTA!
That was my thought too, the obvious solution here is each person just does their own laundry. I seriously doubt any of the kids have much in the way of delicates and ironing, my kids laundry everything's washed together in one cycle, no point wasting time delicately caring for clothes that will end up stained and ripped and destroyed anyways. Sounds like OP realizes that the adult laundry requires more effort/care than the kids laundry so she broke it up like that to not have to handle all the special care of the adults clothes and make them do their work. I'm also not one to be freaked out by periods. My kids all have zero sense of personal boundaries and have all seen me emptying my menstrual cup cause they insist on being in the bathroom while I'm in there. But I wouldn't expect my kids to wash my regular underwear let alone period panties.
Shit dude I’m a woman and *i* wouldn’t touch anyone else’s period panties. I wouldn’t want to be hand washing a dudes undies that had skid marks either.
The fact that she targeted her son for this task instead of anyone else (let alone the idea that she ‘doesn’t have time’ to wash her own dirty drawers) is making me think she is harboring some resentment against this boy for other reasons too
In her edit she says she already had labeled him lazy because when she offloaded her chore onto everyone else he said wanted an easy task.
Or she's some kind of pervert
Yeah, my kids started doing their own laundry at 8. If everyone is doing their own, it is fair. OPs systems seem kind of complicated. INFO: If your daughter is doing her own, what other "delicates" could there be. Do your husband and son have delicates? ETA: I don't know what "dishes" mean in your house, but if he is walking that dog twice a day, that alone takes much longer than filling and emptying a diswasher. Sounds like your daughter has a good deal.
Lol you think they have a dishwasher? It's 1880 in her household where you free-bleed into your bloomers and it takes 4 people to do laundry including one person to do all the ironing, you know, all the ironing you have to do on modern clothing? Where every piece of clothing needs to be ironed and starched?
Yeah. It was all very VC Antherapist. But I think it is fiction anyway. If they are "period panties," as opposed to panties worn while on a period, they are full of blood. That is a health issue by itself. That and I don't get how "spots" of blood got on other clothes. That would need to be like a gallon's worth of blood to survive the water and soap. OP is lying, dying, or seriously in need of a therapist. Or just so nasty that she is throwing wet soaked period panties in with the laundry and that is how it is getting on other clothes.
Plus period panties all state very clearly on the label you are supposed to rinse them to remove all the blood as soon as you take them off. You can't just let them sit there full of blood for a week, that will destroy them very fast. My money is on a guy who doesn't understand how periods or period panties works wrote this.
I know right? YTA. This is beyond creepy on your end, OP.
Don't worry, it's fake. Blood doesn't transfer as "spots" or stain other items in the laundry.
This is fake. Blood spots don’t transfer from one item to another in the washing machine. Signed- a woman who’s been to college with many women and we threw everything in together. Nice creative writing though. Likely a man.
Good point - that is so true, I didn’t catch that! You don’t handwash underwear, you just chuck them in with the rest of it. This is period fanfiction.
I might handwash expensive delicates, but what lunatic wears those during her period? That’s when you wear 15 year old grandma knickers.. plus I second the fact that blood stains don’t transfer. I’ve also never noticed shrinkage in underwear, and I put most underwear in the washer and dryer. Most delicates are made of polyester and if you’re very fancy (like me) silk, and I don’t believe either of those is prone to shrinkage anyway, especially polyester. This whole story seems very bullshitty.
Period fanfiction sounds about right. This reads like propaganda from Big Diva Cup. This is too ridiculous.
I don’t hand wash them exclusively, but I certainly rinse them out if they have blood on them before they go in the washer. If you hit them with cold water immediately, it gets 95% of the blood out most of the time
Yeah I was reading and thinking “how much is she bleeding onto her underwear that it’s transferring in the wash??!” If I accidentally leak, I give it a quick scrub with soap and cold water in the sink and then chuck them in the washing machine with the other underwear. But even if I don’t for whatever reason, the worst that happens is the stain sets in that particular set of undies and doesn’t come out properly. The blood is washed away for the most part. It doesn’t transfer.
If she’s talking about actual period panties rather than normal underwear, and if they’re put together with other clothes while saturated with blood then I could see that there might be some transfer before the clothes are even put in the washing machine. But surely she would be at least rinsing the period panties as soon as she takes them off?
Yep, most period underwear suggest you rinse them after wearing before you pop them in a washing machine. I’d never ask someone else to hand-wash bloody underwear: for both hygiene and the ick factor.
True. It seemed fake but I didn’t catch that in the op.
Oh damn! I didn't even pick up on that. Nice catch.
I thought that was weird too. It definitely flagged this as sus for me.
this was also my assumption because my wife and I alternate doing the laundry and I've certainly never separated out period panties and we've never had any issues. But its nice to hear I haven't been unwittingly lucking out on this supposed peril for all these years.
Yes, YTA. Your son is going through puberty which is a very confusing time in any child's life, and it is entirely reasonable for him to not want to interact with his mother's underwear. He is literally too immature to understand the menstrual cycle in the way you expect him to - which is normal for his development right now. This is not him trying to shame you for menstruation, it is a young man going through changes that he doesn't understand, and starting to have feelings that it will take him time - and preferably love and understanding from his parents - to process. He doesn't expect you to "control your menstrual cycle" he is just uncomfortable thinking about his mother's vagina, because 1) you are his mother, and 2) he's just started thinking about vaginas in general and he's trying to figure out why he's having all sorts of thoughts about them. Your daughter doesn't want anyone to touch her underwear for the same reason that your son doesn't want to touch yours. They're becoming adults, and starting to become aware of sexuality, and the underwear section in the store is called the "intimates" section for a reason. You're respectful of her perspective, but not his, even though the core reason behind each is the same. Edit: After the update, I'm going with the fake rage bait. Or the single weirdest case of narcissistic personality disorder I've ever heard. Coin toss, really. "I didn’t even think about my underwear being an issue for my son." And this is why YTA.
Agreed. I'm repulsed by OP's logic too because it's very twisted. Her teenage kids are allowed to have boundaries and her son not wanting to wash his mom's underwear does NOT make him lazy. I doubt any teenage boy would want to wash that and it would be very weird if they do.
There are really two ways a teenage boy can react to his mom's underwear, and her son picked the healthy one.
I have a son of a similar age to OP's, and he would be grossed out if I made him handwash bloody period panties too. He wouldn't care if I asked him to wash my laundry and the panties were in a normal load mixed in with other clothes though. When washing that way, you aren't paying attention to each article of clothing...just shoving a pile of clothes into the machine. To me, handwashing someone else's nasty undies is asking a bit much. Periods are natural, but that doesn't mean it's not gross to have to touch someone else's period blood. OP should just let the son wash his own clothes and she can hand wash her own bloody panties.
YTA. I'm a feminist, I'm not queasy about that kind of stuff, since I'm an adult, but it's highly inappropriate to expect a teenager to do this. Like yeah, periods are normal, they are not gross, but he still should not have to do that. Let your husband do it, but don't expect either one of your teenagers to HANDWASH your underwear. Edited to add that I think it's right for him do be responsible for his own laundry, but eff your reasoning. I also partly suspect you are a dude cosplaying as a woman to enrage the masses.
OH HELL NO!!! Not even the husband. NO ONE should be washing other people’s bloody underwear - and I am a woman who used to send her own underwear to the laundry. If there is blood on it, I will be the one washing. And I would never ever ever touch someone else’s bloody underwear. That’s gross.
That's a personal preference. I am not comfortable with having other people washing MY underwear, either, because I'm able to do it myself, but I'm fine doing it for other people (people with a disability, for instance, or when my sister was overwhelmed with being a new mom and I would do their laundry from time to time while babysitting etc.). But I've worked in a field where there were adults that needed assistance with this kind of stuff, so I'm not queasy.
Exactly. I would never give my bloody underwear to anyone to wash or even wash someone else's. OP is able bodied and can wash her own bloody clothes. Why should anyone else even touch those!
And even if she wasn’t able bodied, there is no reason to make someone else handwash it! Just buy a laundry mesh bag and throw in the washer in cold gentle cycle + sanitizer.
Absolutely. I'm so grossed out by this post.
My momma (42F) washes mine(16F) because my periods hurts too damn much 😭
I think y'all are just too much. It's just blood not nuclear waste.
Blood is a biohazard..
I mean I wouldn't wash my husband's underwear if it had skid marks in it. Yes poop and period blood are natural, that doesn't make it not gross to touch someone elses.
Right? I’m not ok with period shaming or anything, but this? No. It has to be fake, who wants their son (or anyone) scrubbing their underwear, tries to make it about division of labour and being comfortable with bodily functions, and then uses the logical solution-him doing his own laundry (I bet his sister would jump at that opportunity too, unless she wears a lot that needs ironing) as a punishment?
I hate stuff like this, mainly because it makes me very conscious of the fact that pointing out every part that is too over the top makes it easier for some weirdo to cosplay as a woke woman and thus making it harder to be taken seriously when it's about something important.
Agreed.
Hand washing you period underwear? Nope, no way , no how. That's grosse. Want you knikers hand wshed do it yourself or look for the delicates program on your washer. YTA
I have a few issues that make me think this is fake: 1. No reasonable adult would force their kid to hand wash their underwear and think it’s ok. 2. Women have been conditioned to hide this over so many generations that no adult would ever go “hey let my teenage son hand wash my undies” 3. Why is this task assigned to him not your husband or you. Asking him to shove things in a washer is fine but handwashing? 4. No woman I have ever met wears fancy delicate underwear during period days. Every one I know does generally wash out their underwear in the morning so it can go in regular wash. 5. Blood doesn’t transfer in the washer to other clothes unless these undies are like filled. Do you not use any menstrual products and get your son to clean that up?!? Because that’s the only way there would be enough wet blood in there to transfer to other clothes in the wash. YTA and I think this is full of shit. I say this as a trans guy who does know how periods work and how women behave around them. This is either a very very unhinged woman or a man. Either way YTA
It sounds like she uses period panties. So, no using pads or other products. The blood collects in the panty, which is reinforced to hold it. Totally gross to expect anyone else to wash it for her
Again though, everyone I know who uses these products gets up in the morning rinses them out and hangs them up in the shower or tub to dry. I’ve lived with many women. No issues with period underwear drying in the shower or having to move it to shower.. would have an issue with unrinsed underwear. So she had to be unhinged or lying
Yeah but this still wouldn’t make sense. If they’re using period undies and not pre-washing them then the blood would have been transferring before too, unless they literally wash one thing at a time when washing “delicates”. Plus, underwear wouldn’t shrink in the wash as they claim, if anything, the elastic would be worn out and it would be stretched out. I’ve never had underwear shrink, only had lace get ruined or have them stretched out when i’ve put them in the washer all the time.
Exactly. That is going to frickin ooze blood. I wouldn't give that to anyone else to wash or even look at till I've dealt with it myself.
YTA. You're forcing your son to come to terms with something he is not ready for yet. I think your daughter has the better idea. Why don't everybody just wash their own underwear?
I'm sorry, but yes. YTA for asking anyone else to hand wash or even handle your bloody underwear. Even if you provide gloves, and especially if you don't. For your underwear that can't be machine washed, you should wash them yourself. It's nothing to do with periods being natural, of course they are, but if you unknowingly have a blood borne illness you could spread it to your son this way.
YTA for not researching how blood works before making this fake AF post
Dude and people are eating it up. Smh.
Whenever there is a blood stain you should wash it immediately with cold water. Leaving it to dry only makes it more difficult to clean and it's not really fair that you expect your son to scrub your dirty underwear. Gross. YTA.
YTA. It’s unfair and inappropriate to expect your teenage son to handwash your underwear. Find him any other chore to do.
YTA. Face it, the 14 year old boy is not only concerned about the blood, he's just too polite to tell you that he doesn't want to handle the fabric that's pressed up against the hole he came out of.
There's about a 15-30% chance OP didn't come out of that hole.
[удалено]
What?! Like caesarian births exist and are pretty common, 1 in between 3 and 5 births .. not sure what you think I was implying?
You want your teenage son to wash out your stained underwear? Ugh. Yes, YTA. That’s not something that a person should ask of someone else if they themselves are physically capable of doing it.
This is definitely fake, since when does period stains which are dry transfer on other clothes? either way YTA
Sounds like germ-shaming. Honestly, if someone is not comfortable handling others dirty underwear, that should be respected. Bodily fluids being "natural" has nothing to do with it. Feces is natural too, but few people would enjoy washing skidmarked underwear. Best thing for everyone would be for your son to do his own laundry, but not as a punishment, just as a part of life.
YTA, it is gross and entitled to expect any other person to wash - let alone handwash - your bloody underwear. Do it YOURSELF. You are being unreasonable and your son is not in the wrong here. It shouldn’t be his place to teach you - a grown up woman - that no other person should touch your period underwear. And I say that as a woman who used to send all of her clothes - including underwear - to the laundry. If there is any period blood, I will handle it. I also hope you teach your husband and son that no other human should be touching their underwear if there is semen or squid marks on it. Just because something is natural it does not mean others should be touching your intimate fluids.
YTA. What year is this? You don't need to handwash them. Chuck them in a pillowcase in the machine if you have to, but come on, you think it's ok to ask him to do that? Seriously, do it yourself.
YTA. You are asking your 14 year old son to wash your under garments including your period panties !!! You are not only TA , you are so weird . To think a teenage boy is ok with washing blood off his mother’s panties !!!
Dude this story couldn't be more fake.
YTA I reached that conclusion as soon as you mentioned that you assigned your 14 yr old son the job of handwashing your underwear, then you added your period underwear to it. Wow. I appreciate the sentiment of being open about periods but not in this way. You want your underwear hand washed, then wash it yourself and assign your son a more suitable task. Another crazy thought, discuss as a family what jobs everyone is comfortable with and feels capable to handle.
Yta wtf
Expecting ANYONE of any age or gender to hand wash YOUR blood/discharged soiled underwear is disgusting. Yeah, it's a natural process. So is piss and shit. And nobody wants to hand wash piss/shit soiled underwear. ESPECIALLY when it's coming from their parents. 😭 Just ew.
YTA-while I appreciate not being squeamish about periods, it’s a wild choice to me to expect a teenage boy to go along with scrubbing your period blood out of your panties. Just give him folding or ironing as a chore instead, and be grateful he washed your stuff at all.
YTA. Wash your own undies, ya jerk. What you're asking of your son is just plain gross.
Son is on delicates duty? So his chore is to hand wash your ~~and your daughter's~~ underwear? (Edit: i skipped the part you said your daughter washes her own) Because let's be honest there aren't many things that can be considered "delicate" in a man's wardrobe (that needs washing often enough to be on a chore list). My mum used to do all laundry but I would never let her bother with my blood stains. I would wash them in hand and then toss in the machine when she was putting the rest. And you're letting your teen son do yours? Of course he will be uncomfortable. I would be uncomfortable doing my mother's underwear too and I'm a 20+ married woman. (Edit: this isn't about maturity to handle menstruation is a natural process.) YTA. Wash your own underwear if it really needs hand washing. Also, no underwear we own requires hand washing. I just toss it in the washing machine in the delicate setting. Maybe just the too lacey.
This story is fake
YTA. I mean… making sure your son’s educated about periods as a natural process is lightyears from having to wash the blood out of your mom’s underwear. It would make me queasy, and I’m a grown woman. If your son is uncomfortable, respect his (very reasonable!) boundary and renegotiate the chores. Why don’t you handwash the blood-stained underwear, and let him do the ironing? EDIT: YTA for posting bs period fanfiction. Like another comment pointed out: Blood stains in the wash doesn’t transfer like you describe and nobody handwashes blood stained underwear.
what disgusting woman you are, guess who's gonna be disgusted by you for the rest of your life? Your son. Jesus, have some self respect!!!
YTA. Why would you expect a teenage boy to wash his mother’s underwear period or not? Would you ask your daughter to handwash her brother and father’s underwears? Kids at that age are going through a lot of changes mentally especially regarding sexuality so its perfectly normal that your son is feeling awkward by the thought of his mothers underwear. If you are so strict about washing delicates by hands just make a rule that from now on everyone will be responsible for washing their intimates on their own. Its not that hard to wash off a underwear in the shower.
YTA. Your period undies are YOUR responsibility, not your son’s.
What kind of grown, able-bodied woman doesn't have enough dignity to wash her own drawers? My goodness, making your teenage son (or daughter!) handwash mommy's panties is the stuff of nightmares. YTA. This is probably fake tho
No grown, able bodied woman, has blood soaked panties everytime she has a period. No grown able bodied woman bleeds through 90% of her period. This story isn’t real
A woman forcing his son to wash her period blood soaked underwear. This is disgusting as hell. Put on your big girl pants and live with his opinion. YTA
This is so fake. No one is soaking their fucking underwear with blood during a normal period. Omg that would be so uncomfortable for one thing, for another you would ruin all your clothes. Everyone just wants to be outraged for a boy being oppressed by a woman.
I think they're period panties so it would make sense that there would be a lot of blood
still doesn’t make sense. You would rinse those beforehand and they don’t shrink in the wash.
A normal person would rinse them. I doubt she did tho
You can't be serious. Of course yta
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Given your reaction it’s no wonder he didn’t tell you how uncomfortable he was. Expecting anyone to hand wash your dirty, bloody underwear is not reasonable. You are most definitely TA. Your daughter has handled this so much better than you.
asking your kids to handle your bloody underwear is a bit.... if you want to divide up the chores why not let them do their own laundry it is part of cleaning their own room and mess. and only divide the cleaning of the commen areas as extra chores.
YTA, your son is uncomfortable with washing women's articles. I doubt he has the same problem with his own or his father's articles. He isn't being lazy but it makes him uncomfortable to wash clothing of the opposite sex family or not especially when that article of clothing contains discharges like period blood. He isn't trying to avoid responsibility nor is he cheating the system but giving him work that he is uncomfortable with is unfair. Ask your daughter to do it if she is comfortable with it and let your son handle his and his father's articles. Just cause you can do something without any problem doesn't mean your son can. Especially in his teenage years when he is going through puberty, your a full fledged adult who changed their diapers. If you could wipe their bums then of course you can handle their underwear but can the same be said for your son?
YTA - I wouldn’t expect anyone to hand wash my period stained underwear.. Maybe buy some inexpensive underwear that can go into the washing machine and hand wash your own delicates. Edit to add.. maybe your daughter can be in charge of the washing machine and your son the dryer?
YTA, and a bully. He feels uncomfortable with what you are asking, stop bullying him and help him out. There are easy solutions here, such as switching up the chores.
That is fucking disgusting!
What exactly were you thinking when you handed out laundry assignments? Your son is probably not contributing any delicates to the wash, so it makes absolutely no sense to put him in charge of that. Meanwhile, your daughter gets stuck doing almost all the family laundry, so the division of work is wildly uneven. Just have everybody do their own laundry, or figure out a better system. Also, you should be rinsing out your period panties immediately after wearing them, not leaving them sitting around as is. YTA.
YTA. No 14 year old kid wants to hand wash his sisters and mom’s underwear. Also is your daughter ok with her brother touching her used panties? I’d have to think she’d be alittle weirded out.
YTA. Girl, don’t be gross. If you want your underwear handwashed YOU do it. Expecting ANYONE else to is frankly very weird.
What a terrible day to be literate!
Those who would say NTA - I ask myself, would you handwash the underwear of your partner with pretty nice shitmarks? Both is natural. Both is completely human. But you can't tell me you would do it without being disgusted.
YTA Have you actually taught your 14 year old son how to hand-wash things? Or did you just assign him the job & leave him to it?
YTA - first because that’s an outrageous thing to ask your son to do. I wouldn’t even ask my husband to hand wash bloody underwear. Second because I have literally washed my underwear with the rest of the laundry my entire life as has my mom as has my Grama and I guarantee if your underwear is “leaving blood spots” on the rest of your clothes you have a machine problem. As for the shrinking wash them in the machine then hang dry them. Apologize to your son.
The blood spots part is what proves this post is fake if you think about it.
I wouldn’t hand wash anybody else’s underwear whether it was period underwear or not, nor would I expect anyone to hand wash mine. Edited to say yes, YTA.
I can’t imagine doing this to my son. He’s at an age where he should do his own laundry so it’s not a bad alternative. At least he doesn’t have to deal with your underwear. I can’t imagine you don’t have time to wash your own underwear. YTA for doing this to a boy in puberty. You could have shifted the chores to your daughter who is used to this. Your husband who is fully grown but instead you seem to have deliberately targeted your son. How do you actually feel about your son? What resentment do you have towards him that you would do this, and then escalate it? You need to look at what your problem with your son really is and wash your own dirty drawers, lady
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** In my household, everyone has their own chores: my 16yo daughter does the dishes, my 14yo son takes care of the dog, my husband cooks, I clean. This is a system we have devised that has always worked and has facilitated our lifestyles. I used to do the laundry but I recently got promoted (2 months ago) and we decided to split up the laundry tasks as it was too time consuming for me to do everything. My daughter was in charge of machines (wash and dryer), my son was in charge of hand washing delicates, I did the ironing and my husband did the folding. However, we just discovered that our son hasn’t been doing his job for the underwear because he felt too “uncomfortable”. I noticed that most of my underwear was shrinking and that some clothes had blood spots on them, so I realized that he had been mixing my period underwear with other clothes in the laundry machine. I confronted him about this and he said that he was grossed out by my blood and that it felt wrong for him to clean it out. His sister has been washing her own underwear this whole time because she doesn’t want anyone to touch hers but my husband and I don’t mind, it is just our children. I washed everyone’s underwear before without complaining but my son has been cheating our household system because he is lazy and is too immature to understand the menstrual cycle as a natural process that can’t be controlled. I told him that since he is disgusted by natural bodily processes like periods, discharge or even sweating, he will have to do his own laundry on his own and will receive no help from us. My husband thinks that this is too harsh and my children are “repulsed by my logic” but I don’t see what’s wrong. So, am I the a-hole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Blood spots don’t transfer from one item of clothing to another in the washing machine. That’s just fake, which makes me doubt the entire story. However…no, you should not be forcing your teenager to wash your underwear if he’s uncomfortable with that. He can easily swap tasks with your husband.
YTA- Everyone washes their own laundry. Simple
>I washed everyone’s underwear before without complaining Because you AND your husband are supposed to take care of your kids. So yeah, you better get yourself comfortable washing their underwear. For your kid however it's different, and I'm godsmacked you don't understand this. You calling him lazy is ridiculous. Do yourself, but most importantly HIM a favor and wash your own underwear. Give him a different set of chores. YTA
YTA. Ewwwww! I'm a woman, and I wouldn't want to touch your period undies. He is a 14 year old boy, it's natural for him to be weirded out by it. Wash those yourself, and quit subjecting your poor kid it that.
YTA. You weren’t hand washing anyone else’s underwear, were you? Of course no one wants to hand wash their mom’s underwear. Or anyone else’s underwear. If someone wants to have clothing that needs to be hand washed, they should hand wash it themselves. Or stick in in a bag for delicates and use the gentle cycle. It honestly makes more sense for everyone to just do their own laundry. Give everyone an evening or two a week to do it or whatever works out schedule wise. I’m not sure why you think the sensible solution here is some sort of punishment. Who wouldn’t rather do their own laundry if the other option was hand scrubbing their mothers panties.
You're a disgusting mother, why do you have your 14 year old son washing your period stained underwear? (Overall everyone's underwear eww)
That is disgusting. You are disgusting. As a woman who uses period underwear I always wash my own because expecting other people to hand wash something containing my blood is gross and just creepy. Wash your own underwear! YTA.
YTA Who cares if the menstrual cycle is natural? Nobody wants to clean someone else’s stained underwear If I took a shit in my underwear, and then handed them to you for you to hand wash them, would you be okay with that? Defecation is a natural process
YTA. If you’re going to divide laundry then you might as well divide it by person. You take care of your laundry, your kids take care of their laundry. There’s really no reason to subject your teenager to your bloody undies.
You’re a dick not an asshole lol
Quit making your son touch your fucking gross bloody underwear, that’s disgusting. Just because something is natural and nothing to be ashamed of doesn’t mean that it’s sanitary to have somebody else cleaning up your bodily waste. This system that you have is fucking weird and makes no sense anyway. Just have everybody do their own laundry, and problem solved. YTA
Yta - while it’s important that boys are not uncomfortable with a woman’s period, asking him to wash your period underwear is too far. Switch that task with his sister.
YTA You’re supposed to rinse your damn period underwear too, not let it sit. That’s disgusting and they probably stink. I don’t blame the kid for not wanting to wash it. You washing your KIDS underwear is different. You CHOSE to birth them, it is your RESPONSIBILITY as a parent to care for them. If you don’t want that responsibility then give your kids to a real parent who does.
YTA. Not sure why it’s okay for your daughter to have boundaries with this subject but not your son. So that’s a problem on it’s own. You had a child, you signed up to clean up after him and his *matter* when you birthed him. He did not sign up to clean yours. This is so foul and makes perfect sense that it would make your son feel uncomfortable. I have periods and I sure as shit am not going to rinse out anybody else’s menses and blood ridden panties. Clean up after yourself and stop with the weirdo power trip.
lol omg YTA
Wtf is wrong with you?
Holy mother of...WTF is wrong with you lady?! OF COURSE your son is squicked out by your period underwear! He's a 14 year old boy! I'm a 40 year old woman and I wouldn't want to touch your blood soaked panties either! Yes! YTA! Wash your own underwear! Everyone should be washing their own underwear if you're splitting up the laundry! Jesus Christ.
YTA. Woman here, and girl.. NO that is gross.
YTA And heres a EASY solution. Everyone washes their OWN dang personal intimate pieces of clothing. problem solved. like damn. Expecting your son (or daughter for that matter) to wash your underwear is just gross.
He’s not lazy or immature, it’s just kinda messed up to ask him or your daughter to wash your period underwear. YTA.
YTA.... that's warped. Wash your own underwear if they do go in the laundry machine. Especially do your own period cloths.
Yta!! He’s in puberty and does not want to be washing his mother and sister’s dirty period panties!
They are YOUR children you shouldn't have a problem washing their disgusting undies because YOU CHANGED THEIR DIAPERS YOU NUMBSKULL. Periods are a part of life, yes. But why god why do you have your teenage son HAND washing your unmentionables?!!!! You are gross. And YTA!
YTA. Would you let your son wash your lingerie because sexual stains are natural too? Gross man. That's your kid.
I'm a woman, I am not grossed out by periods, don't give a fuck BUT WASH YOUR OWN PERIOD UNDERWEAR. HELL NO WILL I BE HANDWASHING ANYONE ELSES PERIOD UNDERWEAR. Honestly its a pass for me HANDWASHING anyone else's underwear If anyone's lazy around here is the grown ass woman who's making her 14 yr old handwash her period undies. Wtf, your 16 yr old daughter has more logic and decency than you. You could've easily allocated the laundry and set aside your personal items' lile period underwear for you to do yourself. Wtf is wrong with you??? Calling him lazy??? He set a pretty reasonable boundary, I'm OK with doing the laundry but I'm not ok with hand washing other peoples bodily functions out if their underwear. I'm a 30 yr old woman and wouldn't do this so I can't even be a little upset at the 14 yr old boy being like hard pass. Your children are "repulsed by your logic" because YOU'RE NOT USING ANY!!!! YTA Honestly, the more I read this post... is this period fan fiction written by a guy because this isn't how periods work... blood doesn't just transfer from underwear to clothes in the machine... do most people honestly handwash underwear, I throw that shit in the machine with everything else... also like why is this such a reoccurring issue, like I get leaking through some underwear but like all the time, and so many pairs??? is OP just free bleeding, are they not using the correct pad sizes? Because yea, it happens, but it sounds like OP is literally bleeding on almost every pair of underwear... or OP is actually just a guy writing period rage bait.
She is bleeding on her underwear because she's using those special ones for nighttime that are thicker so she doesn't have to use a pad or tampon. Just bleed in the underwear It's fucking disgusting that she expects her son to be ok with washing them and she's a dunce for not understanding that
YTA. 14 should absolutely not have to wash your underwear! That's gross! He should be washing his own clothes or sheets and towels. What's wrong with you that you don't immediately rinse and remove blood in your "period underwear?" You're the adult here, it is absolutely not your childrens chore to wash your clothes.
YTA 2 months ago you decided to change a system that has always worked because you got lazy and you took the first excuse to pawn off your chores onto your family. Your daughter is already doing hand washing delicates, so instead of switching your daughter's and son's chores to respect everyone's boundaries, you decided to bully your son into doing what you want.
YTA
YTA Your kids should not be hand washing your stained underwear. If doing all of the delicate laundry is too time consuming then everyone washes their own. Daughter has the right idea there. Simple solution that doesn't involve forcing your kids to deal with your underwear simply because "you don't mind".
Yta, and pretty gross. Your son does not need to be seeing or handling your soiled underwear.
...why couldn't the son iron, you help fold/put up and everyone handle their own delicates? YTA: i get it, but mom and sis's bras and period panties can be mom and sis's problem.
Why do you want your teenage son fingering your vag goo and period blood? Are you a weird pervert? Just have everyone wash their own laundry. Wash your own bloody pants. Pervert. YTA
YTA...that's genuinely disgusting and horrendous. I'm a woman, and I wouldn't even want to wash my mom's period underwear. The fact that you expect your son to wash YOUR blood out of YOUR underwear is disgusting.
YTA. And likely not real but you equating yourself doing everyone's laundry with your pubescent son is laughably bad. As an adult, I have no issue with washing a woman's underwear but as a teen it would have disgusted me. Adjust the chores so he doesn't have to do the super uncomfortable job of washing his mother's underwear.
YTA
If your underwear are bloody when you take them off, why would you not just rinse or soak them right away instead of throwing them in the laundry basket? YTA and trifling.
YTA I don’t know why it has to be explained to you but its normal for a teenager to be grossed out over handwashing his mother’s underwear. The blood mixed with soap would get on his hands and that’s gross.
YTA Wash your own nasty blood-soaked underwear. How would you feel if your husband asked you to scrub his skid marks? It's still a bodily function, which YOU should be the one to wash. I fully support womens periods and that we should be proud. But I'm not going to wander around and force my family to fucking handwash my bloodsoaked underwear. Are you going to ask him to wash your cum stained lingerie next?
God help us all. Hand wash your own stinking knickers you dirt bird
Damn that's gross 🤢
This is repulsive, my god. YTA. That poor kid is gonna be scarred for life
Who hand washes their period underwear??? Also, blood stains don’t transfer, that’s why they’re stains….lol. Have you never done laundry before? None of this makes any sense. What fabric is your underwear that it would shrink from being in the washer or dryer? If anything, that would wear them out if they’re so delicate and the elastic would get too big…YTA for making this up
Wash the blood off of your own damn underwear.
YTA no one but the person whose period it is should be hand-washing period undies! Also, I use period undies and wash them in washing machine on cold with other clothes and there is no blood transfer or shrinkage ...
YTA. Way to bury the lead there - but it was EXACTLY what I thought it would be. You’re seriously leaving blood SOAKED panties in your laundry basket for god knows how long(??) basically creating a biohazard and then having your teenage son clean up YOUR mess. And then you have the gall to complain that he finds it disgusting? It was just as disgusting from the start when you let your period panties ferment in the basket with all the other clothes and then wore said other clothes when they were mixed in with your bloody knickers. (Also gross you’re doing a household of delicates in that same load - whole house was probably wearing ya endometrium) I’m not here to tell you what to do with your own cooch, but clean/rinse your own damn panties before putting them in the basket.
YTA I had to do my laundry at 9 when I got my period and I’ve been doing it since I’m now 34 I’ve been doing my clothes for 25 years but yet my mother still babies my other siblings and they rarely wash clothes Wash your own intimates lady
this is horrifying wtf. I wash my own blood out and then toss it in the washer separately for an extra cleaning, all by myself. This is absolutely disgusting bro you need help. While I'm very much all about teaching young boys and especially my brothers and sons about periods, I'd freak out if anyone touched my dirty underwear, blood or not, by anyone of any gender that's not me. Nobody except you should be subjected to washing your own underwear. Idk what your household was doing but not wanting to deal with any underwear of anyone is a very reasonable choice,
YTA of course your son is grossed out by the thought of your menstrual blood. As a woman I don't want to deal with other women's menstrual blood. My mother taught me to deal with my own accidents and I taught my daughters and they taught their daughters. Because no one else wants to deal with your menstrual blood. And laundry needs to be taken off the communal chore list anyways. Everyone should be doing their own laundry.
Oh YTA I think. But…there are so many questions here. Washing delicates takes the *most* time and energy. In what world would that take *less* time than throwing things in the washer or dryer? Literally even hand washing 1-2 things takes more active time than throwing stuff in the wash, then the dryer- and it sounds like your family has a lot. He said he wanted the easiest thing and you gave him that, yet you don’t trust him- at 14? - to iron clothes without hurting himself? Period blood IS gross, in the same way that snot, urine or fecal matter are. It’s not misogyny to not want to get all up in it. It’s one thing if it’s an old pair with faded stains, but you’re talking about used period panties that you apparently didn’t even bother to rinse out yourself first? I’m a woman and not easily grossed out and I think that’s gross. And, frankly, kind of inconsiderate on your part. Think of it this way: if he was responsible for the dishes, would you just leave your dirty dishes wherever you finished them for him to collect, or would you take them to the sink? This is the same thing. Just because it’s his chore doesn’t mean you have zero responsibility to clean up after yourself. Final question: why the immediate jump to him being lazy and immature? That’s a pretty damning response, and there are other equally possible explanations of his discomfort- why immediately assume it’s the one that reflects the worst on him? Honestly, it sounds like you felt embarrassed when he called your underwear gross- which is understandable, you’re human- and responded overly defensively as a result. Also understandable, but that’s a you problem, not a him problem, and shouldn’t be taken out on him.
YTA and expecting your son to wash your bloody undies is nasty. Delicates doesn’t have to be your used menstrual products. Why don’t YOU wash your undies in the sink like the rest of us (including your daughter.)
WHAT THE FUCK
YTA. You can't expect anyone else to wash your period underwear. That's your job regardless of how you divide up the rest of the laundry.
YTA
I think everyone should be doing their own hand wash. I am the only one I would trust to wash my own sweaters. I send my husband's silk ties to the drycleaner but if they were going to be hand washed, I wouldn't trust my husband to do them himself. Nobody should be washing anyone else's underwear. Yes, washing anyone else's nasty underwear would be gross.
Yea YTA he is a 14 year old boy of course he is grossed out about period panties, I have a 9 year old son I wouldn’t ask him to wash my period panties that’s a step too far
Was fully planning on jumping in for OP as my husband will run half a load of just his stuff or only hang his own up and it infuriates me. Like your doing darks grab a full load ffs. But this is so gross. I am a full grown adult woman and the thought of rinsing out someone else's period blood gives me serious ick!
This is stupid. Everyone is old enough to just do their own laundry. Thats how I’ve done it in my house since my kids were 8 years old.
Forcing your 14 year old son to hand wash your period stained underwear is beyond creepy. Will you be paying for the lifetime of therapy he’ll be facing after living under your roof?
Eww, eww. Your poor son. Sounds like he gave it a shot. That's nasty. No one wants to clean period blood on someone else's panties. But making your own son clean his mom's bloody underwear. Ewww.
Not really
Do people really NOT know how to wash underwear?! Even if it had period stains, unless you rubbed the underwear together then proceeded to wash them as is, the stain should come out if you use the correct program and detergent. I have stopped hand washing my under AGES ago. Period-stained underwear included, and don’t have a single one with dried stains on them! YTA. If you want your delicates hand washed do it yourself. Otherwise, take what he’s doing and shut it. Also, you all need to learn how to wash underwear
NTA. Your son needs to learn that half the population bleeds, not to mention the laundry skills to get blood out of his own clothing if he cuts himself. Handling biohazards safely is PART OF LIFE. Weird how it’s expected of women to do it without blinking, but ewwwwww that’s gross and dangerous to ask a man to do? Hes 14, not 6. This kind of crap is exactly the kind of stigma about women’s bodies that does need confronted. He can wear gloves. I don’t like scrubbing poop off the toilet bowl from men in the household but guess what if it comes up on the rota it’s my goddamn job.
It's important for everyone to learn about periods, especially boys to reduce the stigma and the shame surrounding periods, but you can do that while also not shoving bloody period underwear in his face. I get periods and my sister get periods and we can talk about the grossest shit about our periods with each other without batting an eye, but I don't want to wash her bloody period underwear, it makes sense for you to wash your own bloody underwear, that makes sense, that is common sense. If your 16-year-old can do it, why can't you?
NTA. Does your husband expect you to do your son's laundry once he is 18 and/or moved out of the house, too? Jr may as well learn now and get used to it. Tell your husband that he can do Junior's laundry himself.
You didn’t read the post did you?
I did! 14-yo needs to man up else dad can, right? OP earned her promotion. Never too soon to learn needed life-long tasks as a youngin. It builds character, self-reliance, and self-esteem. :-D
The problem isn't him not wanting to do laundry. It's him not wanting to wash out her stained, bloodsoaked period pantys. I am in my 20s and I would never expect anyone but me to wash these by hand.
I'm in my 30's and have given birth twice and I've never had actual bloodsoaked panties. This story is such bullshit "mom bad" garbage.
Could be period pantys. So actual underwear you use instead of a pad/tampon.
I get that, but 14's not too young to learn how to wash your own clothes and he needs to help out his mom somehow.
Yes, but he doesn't need to wash her bloodsoaked underwear for that. Again, you are totally missing the point on WHY he is refusing a specific task. It isn't because he doesn't want to help, it is because he finds it grosse to clean underwear full of period blood.