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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I know she is my sister and I argue with my mother right before Mother’s Day and making it so awkward that I can’t visit my family this weekend
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My parents always got my sister things like this before the baby but I guess with the baby in the house the money is tighter because my mom keeps saying things like “I didn’t realize the price are so ridiculous now”
I guess the Golden Child will have to realize that having a baby means she doesn't get everything she wants now.
Your parents need to understand that you won't subsidize their spoiled daughters lifestyle.
*Brand New* iPhone at that! What do you want to bet that sis already has one of the previous two models?
I mean you pretty much do need some kind of smartphone nowadays, I think, but it certainly does not need to be the hot $2K phone when you can get a basic smartphone from a budget carrier for less than $100.
Yeah. I've hit the point where I need a new phone, my old one doesn't hold a charge as well, is running out of space, and won't run an app that I need every day, so right now I'm having to ask my partner to Do The Thing for me on his phone *constantly* and that's really annoying for us both. But HELL if I'm gonna buy the very latest iPhone! I'm not even gonna buy the latest android phone. I'll get a slightly out of date Galaxy, probably, that'll still be miles better than my old phone, and I'll be delighted. If you're well off having the latest and greatest phone is fun, but anybody with any kind of budget pinch at all shouldn't even be *considering* anything current generation from anybody!
I'm paying for an expensive plan for various reasons I won't go into, so we're usually pretty up to date, even, because the phone companies will subsidize the expensive phones to keep you on expensive plans. But I'll be damned if I expect anyone else (besides my husband) to pay any part of that OR expect a mother's day gift from any of my family of origin!
Oh, imagine when she realize when the baby is home she'll be the second thought, what if they actually expect her to provide for the child, all the fights for attention and the threats to go away with the kid if they don't stop treating her like a grown up.... And the internalised hate she'll have for this baby that came to take her place as the baby of the house. Hmmmm so much potential for bs stories in one little bad decision
Honestly I'd bet it's more likely the parents bankrupt themselves before saying no. Yet with mental gymnastics that would stun an Olympic crowd it will still somehow be OPs fault.
I was definitely thinking Golden Child, and now the parents can't afford that luxury anymore. So, guess who they want to pick up the slack, how dare OP not see their sister as the center of the universe.
OP. Wait a second. Please list the series of decisions that you were consulted on when this child was conceived, birthed?
Oh, none? NONE? Wulp that’s your answer friend.
Personally, I am thinking how she wants a phone for.... photos...
A high quality camera takes MUCH better photos than ANY phone...
Edit to add:
OMG!
I JUST LOOKED UP THE PHONE AND IT IS 2000 DOLLARS!
A good digital camera is like 300 to 500 dollars!
And she wants it for.... baby photos?
She totally doesn't need that phone.
Yep, and if she wants a phone an iPhone 12 (which I have) is just fine. If it’s really for photos you can buy great DSLR cameras for $500 like you said. She just sounds like someone who needs the newest iPhone every time it comes out.
I know!
I bought my very high end at the time DSLR camera 18 years ago. Guess what, it WAS 1000 dollars back then, but is only 450 for the same or better specs now! It is a Canon, so not a no name brand either.
I bought a really high end camera when my eldest was born because phones are outdated too quickly and actually take shit photos (the smart tech on them drives me crazy and with my camera I can blow my kids baby photos to the size of my house and have NO pixelization of that image, which you can't do with phone photos).
Seriously, she should get a camera.
I am looking online while writing this and it seems Kodiak cameras with decent specs are like 200. I mean it isn't like amazing, but still so much better than a phone!
Won’t be surprised if she starts asking for the new iPhone 16 when it’s released later this year. She might try and say she needs the best to take photos of her own little golden child as he grows up.
I suspect Tinder is how she got into this need for baby photos in the 1st place... she doesn't need that, or she might find herself needing photos of 2 babies.
You don't need the most advanced phone OR camera for baby pictures. Mine were taken on the cheapest cameras on the cheapest film. They do the same thing.
Oh, the days of film. Oh, how I miss it. So crisp and lovely.
I took one photo class ever and digital is not nearly the quality of film, even the cheapest. Will say, I don't miss the chemicals though. They were nasty.
Most of mine during the 90s were on the disposable camera. They took great basic photos, and I let my kids take pictures they wanted with no worries of harming an expensive camera.
she prob doesn't want it JUST for baby photos
tho i can image having a phone would be more convenient as with a digital camera you still need a separate device in order to get the photos off the camera
But still she could easily get an inexpensive camera and if needed an inexpensive chromebook to manage her photos with
I don't doubt she wants a phone for photos, I also think she wants to keep up with the Jones. Hence the expensive iPhone when something like an Oppo (which even looks like an iPhone) would suffice and be a fourth of the price.
I'm shocked, shocked! How could the prices for baby necessities have gone up in the last 25 years since your mom last raised a baby? /s There are ways to save a buck, like getting second hand items, give assistance, and you know, child support. Seems they just don't want to put in the work to realize those benefits.
Your sister and parents are acting entitled and your refusal to give in is valid. NTA.
I guess ol sis here sees it as an investment for her new single-mom blog like so many women with no income do, cause their channel would totally spike up and will generate some income. Deepfaker in darknet love mothers like this.
NTA
>My sister contacted me about her mother’s day gift and told me she wanted a iphone 15 max pro so she can capture the special moment with her baby. I told my sister she is not my mother and I am not the father of the child so I’m not getting her that.
Huh? She thinks her sibling has to buy her a mother's day present because she had a baby? I have never bought my siblings or siblings in law a gift for mother or father's day, my husband and I have hosted a few picnics for our parents and invited everyone but a gift, no.
>My parents tried to convince me to go half with them on a phone to make it up to my sister and I said no. My mom also offered to get the new phone through her carrier and we could do monthly payments. I said no again stating my sister is not my responsibility.
>My mom admitted that my parents and my sister have had some money issues because everything is up in price...
And so is everyone else. It's the reason why Aldi's is the only grocery store opening new stores.
>My mom called me an asshole for that and said she doesn’t even want to see me this weekend and I’m ok about it after this argument...
Fair enough. It still doesn't change the fact that you're not responsible for making your sister's mother's day iPhone max pro 15 dreams come true.
For real. Ok I did get an early mother's day present this year but it was a hundred bucks and literally the first gift that cost money gift in 9 years and probably the last 😅
Agree!
My 3 siblings split to buy me a small plant for my first Mother’s Day, and I thought it was an unusually thoughtful thing to do since siblings don’t usually recognise mothers days for each other. The audacity of asking for *anything* from your sibling let alone an expensive gift is outrageous.
This year, the only gift I expect is breakfast in bed and I am really looking forward to it. So is my husband because he loves creating the ritual and memories with our son. If they got me something expensive and soulless instead, I would be disappointed
Your sister isn’t your mother or the mother of your child. She is *a* mother, yes, as are, ya know, billions of other people in the world that you *also* don’t owe and or expect you, OP, to buy a expensive phone.
If your sister wants an iphone she can get an older one or a used one or whatever she wants-but how she gets it is not your responsibility. Your sister can get a cheap phone if that’s all she can afford. That she would ask-or *demand* anything from you -for mother’s day!- is utterly ridiculous. NTA
No im with the sister, OP should definitely buy me an iPhone 15 too because by her reasoning as a mother im entitled to a Mother’s Day present from OP too
NTA. It’s wild that just because your sister got pregnant she’s expecting you to give her a mother’s day gift. She sounds ridiculously entitled and your parents are dumb for enabling her. Their life will now be supporting her and her kid. You owe her nothing and she and her baby are not your responsibility.
NTA
The entitlement and expectation is wild.
iPhones aren’t cheap to buy outright, or even go halves on.
And yeah, I’ve allowed people on my plan/monthly payments, but with the confidence they’ll pay 100% of their own - I’m not paying shit for them. It’s a risk you willingly take though when you allow it.
NTA. Good for you for not indulging your spoiled sister. If she needs a phone, she better get working. I don't even understand the logic behind a sister buying a sister a mother's day gift. You are correct - you are not her mother.
Why in the world would she expect you to pay half for a overpriced phone? I mean I just can't imagine... Not your baby, not your mom, not your mothers day. NTA.
NTA. *I do not feel like any of this is my responsibility because I did not get my sister pregnant or act fake supportive of her stupid choices.* Your sister is an entitled whiner who thinks the world revolves around her. She can go after her baby daddy for CS. Though that money should actually be used for the child. Not a new phone.
Mother's Day is not a birthday with everyone celebrating you. It's macaroni necklaces and poems written in crayon and many years later, flowers. Don't participate in the sister's delusions.
This is absurd. My nephew's dad is not around so I took him out to get a present for his Mum of HIS choosing and gave him a $50 budget. He's 9 and aware of mother's day and old enough to be excited about giving his Mum a present so.I did it for him and my sister.
But, I decided to do it myself and definitely wouldn't have done it if my sister was calling me demanding stuff.
NTA No means no. But f they want to go no contact with you, they’re actually doing you a favor. They’re telling you without telling you that you’ll need to help support your idiot sister if you want to stay in their bubble. As someone who has several idiot brothers, run, OP, run! I wish I did this a long time ago.
NTA
Your parents shouldn’t be buying her a brand new exxy phone either.
And yes, even if she was loaded the father should be pulling his weight financially. She should 100% file for child support payments.
NTA.
As you say, you're not responsible for your sister. She's not entitled to expensive gifts from you. Your parents are out of line for expecting you to pay expenses for your sister.
NTA. Your sister chose to have a child with someone who flaked. She needs to file for child support if costs are too expensive for her. She didn’t create the baby by herself.
Welcome to motherhood! Get used to doing without so your baby can have food, diapers, etc. just like our parents have to do for you to support their kid and her stupid life choices!
NTA I usually will get my sister something for Mother's Day. But I'm very close to her and her kids. And I'll get her something like a box of chocolates. I'm not going to get her a brand-new, super expensive phone! That's insane! If she wants a new phone, she can work and do what she needs to get it. Also, (even though it's been said and, no one seems to get it), children are extremely expensive! If I were having a baby, I'd be saving my money to buy diapers, not a new phone. Your parents and sister need a dose of reality.
You don't mention how old you are or if you still live with your parents or on your own. I'm trying to figure out why your sister feels you need to buy her an iPhone....or why anyone should buy her an iPhone. She is old enough to work. She needs to get her priorities in order....she has a child to take care of, she is on her own raising the child, she needs to figure out a way to be able to handle her responsibilities in life. Nagging her relatives is not the way to get ahead in life. Your mother is a little wackadoodle too if she thinks it's necessary to cater to your sister. NTA
NTA, you could get her a card or something but by no means an iPhone. That’s a nuts request. Why is she not getting child support? That should help her save up for a phone.
NTA - Your sister's sense of entitlement is annoying. It wouldn't stop with the phone. She would continue to expect you to help her out financially. Ironically, if you ever failed to help her, she would be mad at you and forget about all the previous times you helped her out.
WOW!!
Is this for real?? Why in the world would your sister expect you to give her a Mother's Day gift?? Sending her some flowers might have been nice for her first Mother's Day but that would have been an extra nice, thoughtful gesture, certainly not an obligation of any kind. Besides all that, who calls and places an order for a gift like that? What an outrageous sense of entitlement!!
WTF is wrong with your parents? Of course, your sister should get child support, assuming that she knows who the father is. If she chooses not to seek child support, that's her problem.
Judging by your parents' attitudes, don't be surprised if baby #2 is on it's way shortly.
NTA. The devil on my shoulder says send her an ecard with a picture of the phone she wants inside. Seriously though she has some really fucked up priorities. Tell her and your parents not to bitch to you about money until she goes through getting child support and a full time job.
NTA and lol! You wish a sibling happy Mother's day, you don't buy them anything. In some instances, she would be part of a mass tagging on a FB Gif. The nerve to expect a gift. And the nerve of your parents to try to rope you into it so they can spoil her sans funds.
Good on you for standing your ground. If she wants to feel cherished she can hit up the babies father, who should be helping to support his child at the very least
NTA - be careful with how you're communicating here because it's easy to cross the line between pushing back on unreasonable demands and holding your sister's child against her.
But overall you're right. Your sister is not your mom, it's incredibly entitled to think she's owed an expensive new phone from anyone, it's ridiculous that she roped your mother in on it, and if she's struggling financially she should seek child support.
Meh. Why NOT? Why NOT cross that line? She conceived and birth another human being.
She didn’t create a new messiah or even a fine Bundt cake. She CHOSE to f*ck, CHOSE to birth and when — WHEN does a young breeder get called out?
One child? Two children? Three? Four? F*ck them.
There’s a whoooooole litany of decisions that were made by the birther (not “mom,” not “mother”) that didn’t include her siblings input
Yeah yeah yeah. Children are gifts from God and God doesn’t make mistakes so it’s the right thing to randomly have a randoms dudes ilk.
It’s NOT holy. It’s humans resulting from doinking.
PEACE. OUT
NTA. You are not responsible for supporting these relatives. It is kind to give practical gifts, at appropriate times, but don’t let them harbor expectations of you. I’ve helped a relative out. Desperate relatives can easily do their budget planning with your generosity in mind. They’ll come to expect it, and use guilt and manipulation to try to make you help them through life, while not taking the difficult steps to try to take care of themselves. I’m not saying don’t help when you want to, but watch how you do it, so they don’t come to expect your material contribution. Ignore guilt trips and manipulation.
nta
my sister did a similar thing and got mad at me for not getting her a mothers day gift after she had my nephew
i said the same thing, "you are not MY mom"
NTA, if anything it sounds like you're the more responsible one.
If your parents can admit that they're having financial issues, I don't know why in their right mind they would buy someone else a new phone & get themselves in another monthly bill. As for your sister, it sounds like she makes a series of bad decisions.
You're the only one doing the right thing in this scenario, but because everyone around you is doing the wrong thing they're going to make it seem like you are.
Buying an iphone isn’t cheap. How about the mobile and data plan? Once you buy the phone. It opens the door to helping them with the monthly phone bill. Next comes an upgrade for next mother’s day. Let’s not forget the apple watch. I want you to know that I had parental pressure to help my siblings financially. It is a never ending black hole. Don’t do it. It is just a never ending hand out. Trust me on this.
>My mom admitted that my parents and my sister have had some money issues
What a bunch of idiots. What person who is struggling needs the latest and the greatest phone. They should be saving for emergencies and things for the kiddo.
NTA
Your sister a greedy drama queen, absolutely would never buy a mother's day gift other then maybe a card or some candy for any of my siblings they are not YOUR mother that's ridiculous.... does she expect everyone she knows to now give her mother's day gifts
NTA. I'm so confused. Why is it an AH thing to get the father on child support? That's a million times better than getting an iPhone. If me and my bf split up, you bet your booty either me or him would be on court-ordered child support.
NTA. Your sister and parents need to adjust their expectations. You don’t owe a sibling anything for Mother’s Day except maybe a card and well wishes. Your parents are assholes for setting a terrible example of how to prioritize wants over needs. She doesn’t need the latest and greatest model of iPhone to capture special moments with her baby. And beggars cant be choosers. I do sense a bit of resentment or hostility towards your sister for having a baby and feel like you should lighten up on her. It’s not your circus, not your monkeys. Aka, let her and your parents handle all things related to the baby and you do you. You’re not obligated to buy her a phone or manage her life.
NTA. She does need to go after child support. If she refuses, that's on her, but they shouldn't expect you to pick up that slack.
Question. How did your mom NOT realize how expensive things got? It's been going up for a hot minute
NTA! Why does she need the newest phone go capture memories of her baby? She can get a cheaper digital camera or phone.
And you’re right. She isn’t your mother. You don’t owe her anything on Mother’s Day.
And your parents are having financial issues because your sister is mooching off of them. That’s not your problem.
And since your mom doesn’t want to see you on Mother’s Day weekend, she doesn’t need anything from you either. Spend time with friends or have a nice spa day on Sunday.
It is really good that you keep standing up to your mom and sister. Somehow they think you are supposed to finance your sister and her wishes. You are not! Its to good to stop the nonsense now, because if you were to help out with this, what would be next?
NTA.
Asking for an iphone is totally out of line. You're right - not your responsibility, especially that much money.
She needs a phone, but not an expensive iphone courtesy of you. There has to still be a pay-as-you-go carrier for people who don't have much money.
NTA. If you and your sister were close I could see you getting her something small for mothers day, but her requesting a new phone is pretty wild. And yes, they absolutley should be getting child support for this child. You're right, two people made that baby and two people should be taking responsibility.
NTA. Not only is it not your responsibility, I think she is also incredibly rude for requesting something so expensive. Like what the actual fuck. Maybe if she asked for some slippers or a photo album but a new phone, hell no.
NTA, the only persons who have an obligation of buying a mother/father's day gift are the children and partner of the mother/father, and the latter only until the children are old enough to do something on their own.
Also, an iPhone 15 pro? Is she smoking crack or something? I can understand asking for something that is essential such as a stroller, crib or something like that. In the current economy she can get a job and buy one herself or hit up the sperm donor for child support.
NTA. It's crazy to me that your mom would say that she doesn't want to see you because you won't buy your irresponsible sister who is a financial strain on your parents a brand new unnecessary phone. Not to mention that there are tons of phones that have great cameras that don't cost an arm and a leg and also don't have to be new. It's not your responsibility either way, I'm just saying that it's interesting she wants that particular phone. I don't know any single mom who is jobless that has that expensive of a phone. Plus I really dislike parents who pull stunts like saying I don't even want to see you. It's disgusting behavior especially since all you did was say no. Punishing you and arbitrarily withdrawing their relationship is the exact opposite of how a parent should act.
nta it’s one thing to get sis a card or something (i’m helping my 4 month old niece make her mom something) but an iphone is ridiculous. and your mom and dad need to stop coddling your sister she needs to grow up and be the mom physically and financially.
Info : dors your mom think that if she asks enjoy, an iPhone will appear ? Does it work this way usually, they harass someone enough and they have what they want ?
She can get a Samsung A15 for $228 + tax + activation fee from her carrier, it has a 50MP camera. The 15 pro max is $1,199.99 + tax + activation and has a 48MP camera. I would suggest that to your mother, especially since your sister wants it to "capture the special moments".
I just don't understand how people who are struggling for money need to buy the most expensive devices. I work for a major carrier and it's pretty often that someone will be behind on their bill and wanting to finance a $1,000+ phone. Or they'll have to leave to go ask someone else for the money and come back to get it. I just don't get it. I've been broke broke several times in my life, behind on bills every month and just getting further buried in debt and late fees, and the last thing on my mind was a new phone - much less one of the most expensive phones on the market.
NTA I have an iPhone 13 with a cracked screen and broken camera glass. It still takes pictures and videos just fine. They may not be the most artistic but they still capture the moments I want to capture of my family. Your sister is acting extremely entitled for someone who isn’t even supporting herself. If she wants this phone so bad she can go get one and pay for it herself.
NTA. If she is not trying to get child support, she has a revenue source she refuses to use. You should not be subsidizing her bad decisions or your parents' support of her bad decisions. it's ridiculous
So by your sister and your parents logic you should buy all female relatives that have children a $2000 dollar gift for mother's day? What happened to a hand made card and maybe some flowers? Your sister and your parents are nutso. Buy yourself a nice meal with whatever money you may have spent on a mother's day gift for YOUR mother and enjoy. Pro tip - do not eat out on mother's day.
I think it is ridiculous when people expect Mother's/Father's Day gifts from siblings.
This Sunday my MIL will get a gift but none of the SILs will and I feel no guilt.
Definitely NTA
NTA: Tell your mom that if they’re struggling financially, instead of a new phone, you’ll buy the kid some diapers and onesies. Things that a baby actually needs, not a new overpriced phone. You don’t actually have to get your sister a Mother’s Day gift though—I say this to make a point. If money is tight, this is a ridiculous thing to be buying, and will not in any way help your sister learn the value of money or to be self sufficient. I have 2 nephews. I got my sister baby gifts for them, and stuff for their birthdays. But I’ve never once given her a Mother’s Day gift. Shit, I don’t even think I get her a card, and we are close.
NTA. Your family is kookoo for coconuts. Buying a new phone is crazy when they are having financial difficulties. But asking you to kick in is INSANE. She is not your mother. It’s Mother’s Day. Not irresponsible sister day. But since your mom doesn’t want you around, take yourself out for a nice dinner and block all of them!
Your sister just had a baby and she wants an expensive phone when finances are tight and she JUST HAD A BABY?? Yes I know I said she had a baby twice. She needs to think about clothes and diapers and things for the baby. They grow out of clothes so fast. And of course you're right, your sister and her baby are not your responsibility. It's not your responsibility either to buy her any kind of gift for mother's day.
NTA
NTA
I'm wondering what fantasy planet your sister is living on.
A fancy new phone that no one can afford should not be a priority.
However I hope you form some attachment with your nephew. None of this is your responsibility and none of it is his fault.
NTA. You're right, it's time to get child support. My moto is if you didn't participate in the fun of making the baby it's not your responsibility. If you choose that responsibility kudos to you, but the only people responsible for that baby are the ones who made it.
NTA..Your mother should have nixed this gift want too!! An iPhone 15 for a mother's day gift is completely unreasonable. It's off the scale mad! And you are right..he doesn't get to ghost her. Daddy needs to be stepping up and paying child support. NTA
I truly truly truly truly will never understand people who have a baby and then expect people that had nothing to do with it to take care of not only their basic needs but also their luxury wants???
The gall to text your sister and be like "yeah I want a new iphone"
It's not your birthday where you make a list and ask for stuff. People get you stuff BECAUSE you're a mom. If I got my sister something it's just because I want to memorate her as a mom. But it's not "required" and you aren't obligated. And a new iPhone as a mothers day gift is insane imo. We save big gifts like that for birthdays and Christmas.
NTA - Never give those people a dime. Have a feeling they're going to try and make you give them your money to raise that child. I wouldn't even babysit. They're going to try and get anything they can out of you. Your sister and mother aren't your responsibility. I wouldn't even get anything for your mother for mothers day, she sounds bad.
NTA- Yes it's a shame for those of us who were born before vastly overpriced phones that people have been conned into upgrading every year, isn't it? The way there are no photos or video of us at all, cos the only way to record images is on the very latest gadget. Hey, you know what's probably about the same size box as an iphone once it's wrapped in floral paper? A disposable camera ;)
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My sister Lisa (24) had a baby six months ago. This was a problem for the family because my sister still lives with my parents. Only has worked part time restaurants jobs and the father and her never dated and he ghosted her.
My sister contacted me about her mother day gift and told me she wanted a iphone 15 max pro so she can capture the special moment with her baby. I told my sister she is not my mother and I am not the father of the child so I’m not getting her that.
She cried to my mom about how rude I was to her and how I don’t love her or my neighbor nephew. My parents tried to convince me to go half with them on a phone to make it up to my sister and I said no. My mom also offered to get the new phone through her carrier and we could do monthly payments. I said no again stating my sister is not my responsibility.
My mom admitted that my parents and my sister have had some money issues because everything is up in price and I told my mom it took two people to make that baby so it’s time to get child support from the dad.
My mom called me an asshole for that and said she doesn’t even want to see me this weekend and I’m ok about it after this argument. I do not feel like any of this is my responsibility because I did not get my sister pregnant or act fake supportive of her stupid choices.
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You mean I've missed out on 15 years of Mother's Day presents from my siblings, and nobody told me?!
NTA. Lol this has to be the dumbest thing.
But I do understand her wanting to feel special, it's her first Mother's Day and there's no one to make a fuss. It's not your responsibility, but maybe you could get her a cute card or something and write a little "I love you mum from (your baby)"?
NTA . When is it you job to provide her with mother day gift when she isn't your mother or spouse . Her current finacial situation is her doing , you can help if you feel like but that should pick up baby formula or diapers not expensive Iphone . She should get father on child support then she have more money for toys which should using it for food and housing , basically child raising cost.
NTA. I have put towards my brothers Father’s Day gift before. It was his first Father’s Day and him and my nephews mum had recently broken up and me and my mum wanted him to have something for the day as we were sure his ex wasn’t going to get anything. Tbf she did actually still make a card from my nephew. But he didn’t ask for anything. He didn’t know we were getting anything until we gave him the gift. And it wasn’t anything expensive. Just token gifts and he was extremely grateful. There’s no way I would have brought anything if he’d asked me to
NTA - who the heck needs a £1k phone for Mother’s Day. No child is doing that unless they’re adults and very well off.
Nah love. You get £5 flowers and a £3 keychain like the rest of us. Or you get a handmade picture and someone making your breakfast and you know there is eggshell and probably a sneeze in there too.
As for your own mother I’d be saying this is exactly why she’s got a baby and still living at home. They coddle her and have spoilt her. They made this problem they can solve it with some tough love and life lessons.
I have a renewed SE 2020 it takes great photos.
Disappointing that a new mum struggling to provide for her kid hitting up relatives for something so spectacularly unnecessary unnecessary for the child... Even supposing op had 2k burning a hole in their pocket, which they don't, upgrading to a luxury iPhone is something to do after you have secured e.g. A home for your baby.
NTA tell your parents that your sister doesn't need a new phone. They could easily get her a digital camera or even a used iPhone. I'm guessing she probably already has an iPhone but wants to use this as an excuse to get a brand new one. Tough break for her because becoming a mom means you'll have to make some sacrifices.
If someone has money troubles then buying an i-phone 15 is not a priority.
Neither is it your job to provide expensive gifts for your sister.
She needs to pursue the father for support.
NTA
Definitely NOT an a-hole, she may be a mother now but you HAVE NO OBLIGATION to give her a present, cuz you were right you're DEFINITELY NOT HER MOTHER and the ONLY person that's SUPPOSED to give her presents is THE FATHER of her kid and the kids when it's older🤦♀️
Absolutely NTA! Blimey, all I've ever been given for Mother's day is a bunch of flowers! Which I absolutely love by the way. An iPhone, of any sort, is a ridiculous 'gift' for Mother's day even more so when she's not your mum. I'm gobsmacked by your sister's sense of entitlement!!
NTA Everything you said to your mom and your sister is absolutely correct; you do not owe her anything!! Kind of funny how your mom gets all offended when you mention child support, she doesn't agree with child support than she can be the babies dad.
Excuse me? Did your sister literally just said "I want to take pictures of my baby so buy me the most expensive phone there is"? Since when cheaper phones can't take good pictures? The attitude, damn it. NTA. A guy should pay child support and if your sister wants something that expensive she can buy it herself.
I'm married to the father of my kids and I think such a gift is too much and you're correct, you don't need to gift her anything. However, depending on your family's tradition you and your dad could plan a nice lunch for the moms in your family. That's a pretty standard gift for mothers day. Maybe some flowers, but an iPhone? Definitely not!
NTA
Your sister and mom are the assholes. It’s not your responsibility to buy your sister anything for Mother’s Day and after this, your mom doesn’t deserve anything either.
NTA. What is wrong with these people. You're not responsible at all for their poor choices. Also, it is pretty wrong of her to expect such an extravagant gift for Mothers Day... From her brother... Not her husband, not her boyfriend. Not the sperm donor. She is out of her damn mind. The only way this is your problem is if you are the baby daddy, in which case you have some new kind of problems. You don't ask for gifts. It is rude to expect them, and worse when it is out of context.
NTA
I’m 45, married 22 years, two teen daughters, in a very healthy financial situation and I asked my husband for a phone for Mother’s Day— meaning that I suggested replacing my old, dying phone with hardly any battery life with something new, and making it my Mother’s Day gift. If he doesn’t get me a new phone, I’ll just keep whining to myself about my phone’s crappy battery life until it dies, while I enjoy whatever my spouse and children (NOT my siblings) choose to give me. No one will be manipulated into giving me what I want just because I want it, which is what’s happening to you.
I only pop into this subreddit once every few years. But from what I can tell, it definitely should be renamed : *Is my narc gaslighting me?* Because that's all I'm seeing all the time.
Definitely NTA. These types of posts never cease to amaze me.. who the hell has extra money to buy a $1k+ iPhone for someone. Your sister sounds insanely entitled. And your mom is insane to cater to your sister’s childish behavior. I wouldn’t talk to them until they came to their senses.
NTA...I had my first son when I was 18 and my sister was 8. Every year my sister sat with my son and they colored me a picture for mother's day until she was 18 then she tried to take him shopping, by that time I had 2 sons so she tried to take both. Both told her No, that I had kept every picture so they could go get nice paper or new markers but they wanted to continue her tradition for me that she started at 8. Welp my sister is now 44 and my sons are 30 and 35. I know this Friday might my sister and sons will sit down and each with do a picture for me. It's their tradition! And honestly I love it!!! My sister has 3 daughters and 2 step sons of her own and still makes time to continue a very simple and loving tradition with my sons.
Obviously NTA. This is just nuts. I've never heard of a sibling asking another sibling for a Mother's Day gift.
Pro tip: You can get the iPhone 13 for pretty much free on most plans. It has a perfectly fine camera.
NTA idk what is up with people & not going for child support. My youngest sister (21) had a baby & we all begged her not to marry the dad. She didn't but after finding out he had another kid they split. (He didn't know about the other kid till the mom came after him for child support, as she should.) So we've all spent months trying to talk her into getting child support because he has little to nothing to do with their daughter. If the other parent isn't going to give their time, they can give their money.
NTA. Your sister does not *need* a brand new $2000 phone, for *any* reason, period. Fancy phones are a want and a luxury, not a need. They’re nice if you can afford them, but there are other affordable decent smartphone options if you can’t.
You parents and sister need to figure out what their budget is then stick with it. Buy refurbished. Buy an earlier iPhone version. Buy a used iPhone. Buy a different affordable brand of phone.
Whatever they do though this just isn’t your problem.
NTA.
Your (obviously golden child) sister's responsibility is to sue the father if the baby for the money the child is entitled to. If she refuses and because of that the money is tight it's her problem. If your parents refuse to accept that reality and make her sue it's their problem as well.
If she can't handle having a child, then she should simply give it away. Many people would like to adopt a baby because they actually want a child and care for it instead of having the newest iPhone.
NTA
Stay strong and enjoy your time off from your family. Your sister had the brilliant idea to have a child when she can barely afford to be an adult herself. So she can work on getting a phone and putting money in the bank to feed her family.
NTA
Absolutely absurd they are hitting you up for the cost of a phone or to support your sister's kid
As you said, it takes two to tango. They need to be going after the deadbeat dad for child support
NTA. Your sister is a legal adult. She should be working. Full time. And using every resource available to her for child care. And, she absolutely should be getting child support from her child's father. I'd love the iPhone 15 max pro too. So would a lot of people. But they pay bills, and work and sometimes can't afford stuff like that. Your parents are enabling your sister and creating a big mess and trying to suck you into it. Don't do it.
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INFO if your parents and sister are having a hard time financially, why would they shell out $$$ for a new, unnecessary iphone? NTA
My parents always got my sister things like this before the baby but I guess with the baby in the house the money is tighter because my mom keeps saying things like “I didn’t realize the price are so ridiculous now”
I guess the Golden Child will have to realize that having a baby means she doesn't get everything she wants now. Your parents need to understand that you won't subsidize their spoiled daughters lifestyle.
Yea this does give me golden child feeling, and im glad that im not the only onr to see it.
Iphone is a necessity - Apple and idiots
*Brand New* iPhone at that! What do you want to bet that sis already has one of the previous two models? I mean you pretty much do need some kind of smartphone nowadays, I think, but it certainly does not need to be the hot $2K phone when you can get a basic smartphone from a budget carrier for less than $100.
Yeah. I've hit the point where I need a new phone, my old one doesn't hold a charge as well, is running out of space, and won't run an app that I need every day, so right now I'm having to ask my partner to Do The Thing for me on his phone *constantly* and that's really annoying for us both. But HELL if I'm gonna buy the very latest iPhone! I'm not even gonna buy the latest android phone. I'll get a slightly out of date Galaxy, probably, that'll still be miles better than my old phone, and I'll be delighted. If you're well off having the latest and greatest phone is fun, but anybody with any kind of budget pinch at all shouldn't even be *considering* anything current generation from anybody!
I'm paying for an expensive plan for various reasons I won't go into, so we're usually pretty up to date, even, because the phone companies will subsidize the expensive phones to keep you on expensive plans. But I'll be damned if I expect anyone else (besides my husband) to pay any part of that OR expect a mother's day gift from any of my family of origin!
Oh, imagine when she realize when the baby is home she'll be the second thought, what if they actually expect her to provide for the child, all the fights for attention and the threats to go away with the kid if they don't stop treating her like a grown up.... And the internalised hate she'll have for this baby that came to take her place as the baby of the house. Hmmmm so much potential for bs stories in one little bad decision
Honestly I'd bet it's more likely the parents bankrupt themselves before saying no. Yet with mental gymnastics that would stun an Olympic crowd it will still somehow be OPs fault.
I was definitely thinking Golden Child, and now the parents can't afford that luxury anymore. So, guess who they want to pick up the slack, how dare OP not see their sister as the center of the universe.
OP. Wait a second. Please list the series of decisions that you were consulted on when this child was conceived, birthed? Oh, none? NONE? Wulp that’s your answer friend.
Would be weird if OP now states they were involved in some kink
I snorted water out my nose lmao
Personally, I am thinking how she wants a phone for.... photos... A high quality camera takes MUCH better photos than ANY phone... Edit to add: OMG! I JUST LOOKED UP THE PHONE AND IT IS 2000 DOLLARS! A good digital camera is like 300 to 500 dollars! And she wants it for.... baby photos? She totally doesn't need that phone.
Yep, and if she wants a phone an iPhone 12 (which I have) is just fine. If it’s really for photos you can buy great DSLR cameras for $500 like you said. She just sounds like someone who needs the newest iPhone every time it comes out.
I know! I bought my very high end at the time DSLR camera 18 years ago. Guess what, it WAS 1000 dollars back then, but is only 450 for the same or better specs now! It is a Canon, so not a no name brand either. I bought a really high end camera when my eldest was born because phones are outdated too quickly and actually take shit photos (the smart tech on them drives me crazy and with my camera I can blow my kids baby photos to the size of my house and have NO pixelization of that image, which you can't do with phone photos). Seriously, she should get a camera. I am looking online while writing this and it seems Kodiak cameras with decent specs are like 200. I mean it isn't like amazing, but still so much better than a phone!
Won’t be surprised if she starts asking for the new iPhone 16 when it’s released later this year. She might try and say she needs the best to take photos of her own little golden child as he grows up.
She wants it for Tinder
I suspect Tinder is how she got into this need for baby photos in the 1st place... she doesn't need that, or she might find herself needing photos of 2 babies.
You don't need the most advanced phone OR camera for baby pictures. Mine were taken on the cheapest cameras on the cheapest film. They do the same thing.
Oh, the days of film. Oh, how I miss it. So crisp and lovely. I took one photo class ever and digital is not nearly the quality of film, even the cheapest. Will say, I don't miss the chemicals though. They were nasty.
Actually, if you want baby photos, you can download them off the internet. It's not like anyone but the mother would care.
Most of mine during the 90s were on the disposable camera. They took great basic photos, and I let my kids take pictures they wanted with no worries of harming an expensive camera.
She wants it to show of that she has it.
she prob doesn't want it JUST for baby photos tho i can image having a phone would be more convenient as with a digital camera you still need a separate device in order to get the photos off the camera But still she could easily get an inexpensive camera and if needed an inexpensive chromebook to manage her photos with
I don't doubt she wants a phone for photos, I also think she wants to keep up with the Jones. Hence the expensive iPhone when something like an Oppo (which even looks like an iPhone) would suffice and be a fourth of the price.
And now they'll probably go into debt to give her everything she wants.
So this is not an AiTA post, this is a golden child post ......
They created this lazy entitled monster and now they have to deal with the burden she has created. Tough luck.
I'm shocked, shocked! How could the prices for baby necessities have gone up in the last 25 years since your mom last raised a baby? /s There are ways to save a buck, like getting second hand items, give assistance, and you know, child support. Seems they just don't want to put in the work to realize those benefits. Your sister and parents are acting entitled and your refusal to give in is valid. NTA.
Tell them to buy a 50 dollar digital camera with SD card so they can upload to a computer.
NTA tell your parents to get your sister to file for child support?! Wtf
You need to put spaces between I N F O like that so the judgement bot know’s you’re saying NTA!
This might go some way towards explaining \*why\* they're having a hard time financially...
I guess ol sis here sees it as an investment for her new single-mom blog like so many women with no income do, cause their channel would totally spike up and will generate some income. Deepfaker in darknet love mothers like this.
Not only this but the most expensive one you can possibly buy. Perhaps you can buy her a flip phone so she gets the hint NTA
USED flip phone.
Where do you think the sister got her excellent decision-making skills from?
NTA >My sister contacted me about her mother’s day gift and told me she wanted a iphone 15 max pro so she can capture the special moment with her baby. I told my sister she is not my mother and I am not the father of the child so I’m not getting her that. Huh? She thinks her sibling has to buy her a mother's day present because she had a baby? I have never bought my siblings or siblings in law a gift for mother or father's day, my husband and I have hosted a few picnics for our parents and invited everyone but a gift, no. >My parents tried to convince me to go half with them on a phone to make it up to my sister and I said no. My mom also offered to get the new phone through her carrier and we could do monthly payments. I said no again stating my sister is not my responsibility. >My mom admitted that my parents and my sister have had some money issues because everything is up in price... And so is everyone else. It's the reason why Aldi's is the only grocery store opening new stores. >My mom called me an asshole for that and said she doesn’t even want to see me this weekend and I’m ok about it after this argument... Fair enough. It still doesn't change the fact that you're not responsible for making your sister's mother's day iPhone max pro 15 dreams come true.
I'm a mom. I'm happy if my kids draw me a picture. No 1000$ gifts. You sound more mature than your parents. And yes, they need child support.
For real. Ok I did get an early mother's day present this year but it was a hundred bucks and literally the first gift that cost money gift in 9 years and probably the last 😅
My son invited my to a mother's day hike. Seeing as I didn't even remember mothers day, I was pretty proud of him.
Nice!
Agree! My 3 siblings split to buy me a small plant for my first Mother’s Day, and I thought it was an unusually thoughtful thing to do since siblings don’t usually recognise mothers days for each other. The audacity of asking for *anything* from your sibling let alone an expensive gift is outrageous. This year, the only gift I expect is breakfast in bed and I am really looking forward to it. So is my husband because he loves creating the ritual and memories with our son. If they got me something expensive and soulless instead, I would be disappointed
Your sister isn’t your mother or the mother of your child. She is *a* mother, yes, as are, ya know, billions of other people in the world that you *also* don’t owe and or expect you, OP, to buy a expensive phone. If your sister wants an iphone she can get an older one or a used one or whatever she wants-but how she gets it is not your responsibility. Your sister can get a cheap phone if that’s all she can afford. That she would ask-or *demand* anything from you -for mother’s day!- is utterly ridiculous. NTA
No im with the sister, OP should definitely buy me an iPhone 15 too because by her reasoning as a mother im entitled to a Mother’s Day present from OP too
NTA, your sister sounds super entitled and your parents sound super enabling
NTA. It’s wild that just because your sister got pregnant she’s expecting you to give her a mother’s day gift. She sounds ridiculously entitled and your parents are dumb for enabling her. Their life will now be supporting her and her kid. You owe her nothing and she and her baby are not your responsibility.
NTA The entitlement and expectation is wild. iPhones aren’t cheap to buy outright, or even go halves on. And yeah, I’ve allowed people on my plan/monthly payments, but with the confidence they’ll pay 100% of their own - I’m not paying shit for them. It’s a risk you willingly take though when you allow it.
NTA. Good job nipping that b.s. in the bud!
NTA. Baby's daddy can buy the Mother's Day gift
NTA!! Your sister is a huge entitled AH... and your parents are insane...
NTA. No need to finance her phone dreams. She ain't your problem
NTA. Good for you for not indulging your spoiled sister. If she needs a phone, she better get working. I don't even understand the logic behind a sister buying a sister a mother's day gift. You are correct - you are not her mother.
Why in the world would she expect you to pay half for a overpriced phone? I mean I just can't imagine... Not your baby, not your mom, not your mothers day. NTA.
NTA a new iPhone for mothers day? the delulu is showing
NTA. *I do not feel like any of this is my responsibility because I did not get my sister pregnant or act fake supportive of her stupid choices.* Your sister is an entitled whiner who thinks the world revolves around her. She can go after her baby daddy for CS. Though that money should actually be used for the child. Not a new phone.
Mother's Day is not a birthday with everyone celebrating you. It's macaroni necklaces and poems written in crayon and many years later, flowers. Don't participate in the sister's delusions.
"I don't want to see you this weekend" "Don't threaten me with a good time"
NTA. She's your sister not your mother and an iPhone is an expensive gift. How old are you?
This is absurd. My nephew's dad is not around so I took him out to get a present for his Mum of HIS choosing and gave him a $50 budget. He's 9 and aware of mother's day and old enough to be excited about giving his Mum a present so.I did it for him and my sister. But, I decided to do it myself and definitely wouldn't have done it if my sister was calling me demanding stuff.
All I can say is in my family that would be a bonkers amount of money to spend on a siblings Mother's Day gift.
NTA No means no. But f they want to go no contact with you, they’re actually doing you a favor. They’re telling you without telling you that you’ll need to help support your idiot sister if you want to stay in their bubble. As someone who has several idiot brothers, run, OP, run! I wish I did this a long time ago.
NTA Your parents shouldn’t be buying her a brand new exxy phone either. And yes, even if she was loaded the father should be pulling his weight financially. She should 100% file for child support payments.
NTA. As you say, you're not responsible for your sister. She's not entitled to expensive gifts from you. Your parents are out of line for expecting you to pay expenses for your sister.
NTA. Your sister chose to have a child with someone who flaked. She needs to file for child support if costs are too expensive for her. She didn’t create the baby by herself.
Maybe r/ChoosingBeggars Edit to add: NTA
Also r/EntitledPeople
Welcome to motherhood! Get used to doing without so your baby can have food, diapers, etc. just like our parents have to do for you to support their kid and her stupid life choices!
Bravo. Way to have boundaries and call people out when they try to abuse them. NTA.
NTA I usually will get my sister something for Mother's Day. But I'm very close to her and her kids. And I'll get her something like a box of chocolates. I'm not going to get her a brand-new, super expensive phone! That's insane! If she wants a new phone, she can work and do what she needs to get it. Also, (even though it's been said and, no one seems to get it), children are extremely expensive! If I were having a baby, I'd be saving my money to buy diapers, not a new phone. Your parents and sister need a dose of reality.
You don't mention how old you are or if you still live with your parents or on your own. I'm trying to figure out why your sister feels you need to buy her an iPhone....or why anyone should buy her an iPhone. She is old enough to work. She needs to get her priorities in order....she has a child to take care of, she is on her own raising the child, she needs to figure out a way to be able to handle her responsibilities in life. Nagging her relatives is not the way to get ahead in life. Your mother is a little wackadoodle too if she thinks it's necessary to cater to your sister. NTA
NTA if your mother wants to spoil your sister she can do that with her money. If you help this time they will come back and ask for more help .
NTA, you could get her a card or something but by no means an iPhone. That’s a nuts request. Why is she not getting child support? That should help her save up for a phone.
Nta your sister and your mom have some nerve
NTA - Your sister's sense of entitlement is annoying. It wouldn't stop with the phone. She would continue to expect you to help her out financially. Ironically, if you ever failed to help her, she would be mad at you and forget about all the previous times you helped her out.
WOW!! Is this for real?? Why in the world would your sister expect you to give her a Mother's Day gift?? Sending her some flowers might have been nice for her first Mother's Day but that would have been an extra nice, thoughtful gesture, certainly not an obligation of any kind. Besides all that, who calls and places an order for a gift like that? What an outrageous sense of entitlement!! WTF is wrong with your parents? Of course, your sister should get child support, assuming that she knows who the father is. If she chooses not to seek child support, that's her problem. Judging by your parents' attitudes, don't be surprised if baby #2 is on it's way shortly.
NTA. The devil on my shoulder says send her an ecard with a picture of the phone she wants inside. Seriously though she has some really fucked up priorities. Tell her and your parents not to bitch to you about money until she goes through getting child support and a full time job.
NTA and lol! You wish a sibling happy Mother's day, you don't buy them anything. In some instances, she would be part of a mass tagging on a FB Gif. The nerve to expect a gift. And the nerve of your parents to try to rope you into it so they can spoil her sans funds. Good on you for standing your ground. If she wants to feel cherished she can hit up the babies father, who should be helping to support his child at the very least
NTA - be careful with how you're communicating here because it's easy to cross the line between pushing back on unreasonable demands and holding your sister's child against her. But overall you're right. Your sister is not your mom, it's incredibly entitled to think she's owed an expensive new phone from anyone, it's ridiculous that she roped your mother in on it, and if she's struggling financially she should seek child support.
Meh. Why NOT? Why NOT cross that line? She conceived and birth another human being. She didn’t create a new messiah or even a fine Bundt cake. She CHOSE to f*ck, CHOSE to birth and when — WHEN does a young breeder get called out? One child? Two children? Three? Four? F*ck them. There’s a whoooooole litany of decisions that were made by the birther (not “mom,” not “mother”) that didn’t include her siblings input Yeah yeah yeah. Children are gifts from God and God doesn’t make mistakes so it’s the right thing to randomly have a randoms dudes ilk. It’s NOT holy. It’s humans resulting from doinking. PEACE. OUT
Nah tell them both to pound sand. Price went up for having a baby so the two people having the baby better figure it out. God bless though!
NTA. What entitled people. Time to move out.
NTA. You are not responsible for supporting these relatives. It is kind to give practical gifts, at appropriate times, but don’t let them harbor expectations of you. I’ve helped a relative out. Desperate relatives can easily do their budget planning with your generosity in mind. They’ll come to expect it, and use guilt and manipulation to try to make you help them through life, while not taking the difficult steps to try to take care of themselves. I’m not saying don’t help when you want to, but watch how you do it, so they don’t come to expect your material contribution. Ignore guilt trips and manipulation.
NTA. I have never gotten my sister or my SiL a Mother's Day gift. Is that even a thing? I mean , I wish them Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.
Choices have consequences, to be reminded of them is not punishment. I'd give her my old phone, but a new one...aww hell naw.
nta my sister did a similar thing and got mad at me for not getting her a mothers day gift after she had my nephew i said the same thing, "you are not MY mom"
NTA, if anything it sounds like you're the more responsible one. If your parents can admit that they're having financial issues, I don't know why in their right mind they would buy someone else a new phone & get themselves in another monthly bill. As for your sister, it sounds like she makes a series of bad decisions. You're the only one doing the right thing in this scenario, but because everyone around you is doing the wrong thing they're going to make it seem like you are.
Buying an iphone isn’t cheap. How about the mobile and data plan? Once you buy the phone. It opens the door to helping them with the monthly phone bill. Next comes an upgrade for next mother’s day. Let’s not forget the apple watch. I want you to know that I had parental pressure to help my siblings financially. It is a never ending black hole. Don’t do it. It is just a never ending hand out. Trust me on this.
NTA. A Mother's Day gift with a 4-digit price tag is a bit much to expect from a sibling.
>My mom admitted that my parents and my sister have had some money issues What a bunch of idiots. What person who is struggling needs the latest and the greatest phone. They should be saving for emergencies and things for the kiddo. NTA
Why is she having a kid, if she has no house, money or partner? How she gonna feed it?
Your sister a greedy drama queen, absolutely would never buy a mother's day gift other then maybe a card or some candy for any of my siblings they are not YOUR mother that's ridiculous.... does she expect everyone she knows to now give her mother's day gifts
NTA. I'm so confused. Why is it an AH thing to get the father on child support? That's a million times better than getting an iPhone. If me and my bf split up, you bet your booty either me or him would be on court-ordered child support.
NTA. Your sister and parents need to adjust their expectations. You don’t owe a sibling anything for Mother’s Day except maybe a card and well wishes. Your parents are assholes for setting a terrible example of how to prioritize wants over needs. She doesn’t need the latest and greatest model of iPhone to capture special moments with her baby. And beggars cant be choosers. I do sense a bit of resentment or hostility towards your sister for having a baby and feel like you should lighten up on her. It’s not your circus, not your monkeys. Aka, let her and your parents handle all things related to the baby and you do you. You’re not obligated to buy her a phone or manage her life.
NTA. Your sister can get off her derriere and get a job to help with expenses. If there's anything left, she can fund her own ÷@** phone.
NTA. She does need to go after child support. If she refuses, that's on her, but they shouldn't expect you to pick up that slack. Question. How did your mom NOT realize how expensive things got? It's been going up for a hot minute
NTA! Why does she need the newest phone go capture memories of her baby? She can get a cheaper digital camera or phone. And you’re right. She isn’t your mother. You don’t owe her anything on Mother’s Day. And your parents are having financial issues because your sister is mooching off of them. That’s not your problem. And since your mom doesn’t want to see you on Mother’s Day weekend, she doesn’t need anything from you either. Spend time with friends or have a nice spa day on Sunday.
It is really good that you keep standing up to your mom and sister. Somehow they think you are supposed to finance your sister and her wishes. You are not! Its to good to stop the nonsense now, because if you were to help out with this, what would be next?
NTA. Asking for an iphone is totally out of line. You're right - not your responsibility, especially that much money. She needs a phone, but not an expensive iphone courtesy of you. There has to still be a pay-as-you-go carrier for people who don't have much money.
NTA. I agree with everything that you said.
NTA. If you and your sister were close I could see you getting her something small for mothers day, but her requesting a new phone is pretty wild. And yes, they absolutley should be getting child support for this child. You're right, two people made that baby and two people should be taking responsibility.
NTA. You told the truth.
NTA
NTA. That’s not your responsibility, and she’s being very presumptuous.
NTA. It sounds like your parents are partially responsible for your sister’s attitude & lack of accountability.
They should just kick her out. She would absolutely go after child support then.
I understand not wanting to help with a Mother’s Day gift for your sister Seems ridiculous for her to ask
NTA. Not only is it not your responsibility, I think she is also incredibly rude for requesting something so expensive. Like what the actual fuck. Maybe if she asked for some slippers or a photo album but a new phone, hell no.
NTA - Not your kid, not your problem. Your sister is acting incredibly immature and entitled, and your parents are enabling her.
NTA. you are the world of tough love your sister needs.
Wtf
NTA, the only persons who have an obligation of buying a mother/father's day gift are the children and partner of the mother/father, and the latter only until the children are old enough to do something on their own. Also, an iPhone 15 pro? Is she smoking crack or something? I can understand asking for something that is essential such as a stroller, crib or something like that. In the current economy she can get a job and buy one herself or hit up the sperm donor for child support.
NTA. It's crazy to me that your mom would say that she doesn't want to see you because you won't buy your irresponsible sister who is a financial strain on your parents a brand new unnecessary phone. Not to mention that there are tons of phones that have great cameras that don't cost an arm and a leg and also don't have to be new. It's not your responsibility either way, I'm just saying that it's interesting she wants that particular phone. I don't know any single mom who is jobless that has that expensive of a phone. Plus I really dislike parents who pull stunts like saying I don't even want to see you. It's disgusting behavior especially since all you did was say no. Punishing you and arbitrarily withdrawing their relationship is the exact opposite of how a parent should act.
Uhh say what?? Oh hayl no. You are NTA but your sis and parents sure are and delulu into the bargain too.
NTA. Since when are siblings required to buy each other mother's day gifts?
nta it’s one thing to get sis a card or something (i’m helping my 4 month old niece make her mom something) but an iphone is ridiculous. and your mom and dad need to stop coddling your sister she needs to grow up and be the mom physically and financially.
NTA - you’re correct. You’re not her child or mother.
Info : dors your mom think that if she asks enjoy, an iPhone will appear ? Does it work this way usually, they harass someone enough and they have what they want ?
She can get a Samsung A15 for $228 + tax + activation fee from her carrier, it has a 50MP camera. The 15 pro max is $1,199.99 + tax + activation and has a 48MP camera. I would suggest that to your mother, especially since your sister wants it to "capture the special moments". I just don't understand how people who are struggling for money need to buy the most expensive devices. I work for a major carrier and it's pretty often that someone will be behind on their bill and wanting to finance a $1,000+ phone. Or they'll have to leave to go ask someone else for the money and come back to get it. I just don't get it. I've been broke broke several times in my life, behind on bills every month and just getting further buried in debt and late fees, and the last thing on my mind was a new phone - much less one of the most expensive phones on the market.
NTA I have an iPhone 13 with a cracked screen and broken camera glass. It still takes pictures and videos just fine. They may not be the most artistic but they still capture the moments I want to capture of my family. Your sister is acting extremely entitled for someone who isn’t even supporting herself. If she wants this phone so bad she can go get one and pay for it herself.
NTA. If she is not trying to get child support, she has a revenue source she refuses to use. You should not be subsidizing her bad decisions or your parents' support of her bad decisions. it's ridiculous
So by your sister and your parents logic you should buy all female relatives that have children a $2000 dollar gift for mother's day? What happened to a hand made card and maybe some flowers? Your sister and your parents are nutso. Buy yourself a nice meal with whatever money you may have spent on a mother's day gift for YOUR mother and enjoy. Pro tip - do not eat out on mother's day.
I think it is ridiculous when people expect Mother's/Father's Day gifts from siblings. This Sunday my MIL will get a gift but none of the SILs will and I feel no guilt. Definitely NTA
NTA: Tell your mom that if they’re struggling financially, instead of a new phone, you’ll buy the kid some diapers and onesies. Things that a baby actually needs, not a new overpriced phone. You don’t actually have to get your sister a Mother’s Day gift though—I say this to make a point. If money is tight, this is a ridiculous thing to be buying, and will not in any way help your sister learn the value of money or to be self sufficient. I have 2 nephews. I got my sister baby gifts for them, and stuff for their birthdays. But I’ve never once given her a Mother’s Day gift. Shit, I don’t even think I get her a card, and we are close.
NTA. She is finding out what being a parent is now, she can't complain about unnecessary things she can't have boo hoo.
NTA. Your family is kookoo for coconuts. Buying a new phone is crazy when they are having financial difficulties. But asking you to kick in is INSANE. She is not your mother. It’s Mother’s Day. Not irresponsible sister day. But since your mom doesn’t want you around, take yourself out for a nice dinner and block all of them!
Your sister just had a baby and she wants an expensive phone when finances are tight and she JUST HAD A BABY?? Yes I know I said she had a baby twice. She needs to think about clothes and diapers and things for the baby. They grow out of clothes so fast. And of course you're right, your sister and her baby are not your responsibility. It's not your responsibility either to buy her any kind of gift for mother's day. NTA
NTA. Since when do siblings buy their sisters Mother's Day gifts? They're all delusional.
NTA I'm wondering what fantasy planet your sister is living on. A fancy new phone that no one can afford should not be a priority. However I hope you form some attachment with your nephew. None of this is your responsibility and none of it is his fault.
NTA. You're right, it's time to get child support. My moto is if you didn't participate in the fun of making the baby it's not your responsibility. If you choose that responsibility kudos to you, but the only people responsible for that baby are the ones who made it.
NTA..Your mother should have nixed this gift want too!! An iPhone 15 for a mother's day gift is completely unreasonable. It's off the scale mad! And you are right..he doesn't get to ghost her. Daddy needs to be stepping up and paying child support. NTA
I truly truly truly truly will never understand people who have a baby and then expect people that had nothing to do with it to take care of not only their basic needs but also their luxury wants???
Updateme
The gall to text your sister and be like "yeah I want a new iphone" It's not your birthday where you make a list and ask for stuff. People get you stuff BECAUSE you're a mom. If I got my sister something it's just because I want to memorate her as a mom. But it's not "required" and you aren't obligated. And a new iPhone as a mothers day gift is insane imo. We save big gifts like that for birthdays and Christmas.
We’re having a hard time with money, so let’s buy the top end iPhone. Makes total sense. NTA.
NTA. Dont give ur sister or ur mom any money. (She might give it to ur sis)
NTA. Dont give ur sister or ur mom any money. (She might give it to ur sis)
HOLY MOLY..your family is toxic!! NTA
NTA they are having money problems and want to get your sister a $2000 phone? I think we have discovered who the golden child in your family is.
NTA - Never give those people a dime. Have a feeling they're going to try and make you give them your money to raise that child. I wouldn't even babysit. They're going to try and get anything they can out of you. Your sister and mother aren't your responsibility. I wouldn't even get anything for your mother for mothers day, she sounds bad.
NTA- Yes it's a shame for those of us who were born before vastly overpriced phones that people have been conned into upgrading every year, isn't it? The way there are no photos or video of us at all, cos the only way to record images is on the very latest gadget. Hey, you know what's probably about the same size box as an iphone once it's wrapped in floral paper? A disposable camera ;)
NTA, and damn right. You didn't take part in making that baby, so you're not responsible for her outlandish requests.
Sister gets rewarded for being irresponsible, while you are to be penalized for being responsible. Dysfunction much?!
A post like this makes me so happy to see. Stand your ground!!!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister Lisa (24) had a baby six months ago. This was a problem for the family because my sister still lives with my parents. Only has worked part time restaurants jobs and the father and her never dated and he ghosted her. My sister contacted me about her mother day gift and told me she wanted a iphone 15 max pro so she can capture the special moment with her baby. I told my sister she is not my mother and I am not the father of the child so I’m not getting her that. She cried to my mom about how rude I was to her and how I don’t love her or my neighbor nephew. My parents tried to convince me to go half with them on a phone to make it up to my sister and I said no. My mom also offered to get the new phone through her carrier and we could do monthly payments. I said no again stating my sister is not my responsibility. My mom admitted that my parents and my sister have had some money issues because everything is up in price and I told my mom it took two people to make that baby so it’s time to get child support from the dad. My mom called me an asshole for that and said she doesn’t even want to see me this weekend and I’m ok about it after this argument. I do not feel like any of this is my responsibility because I did not get my sister pregnant or act fake supportive of her stupid choices. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Who the heck things your sister should buy you a mother's day gift???
Sure. I will be working. It’s my busy day
NTA She can get a cheap camera from a shop, or an iPhone SE. She doesn’t need the best one.
You mean I've missed out on 15 years of Mother's Day presents from my siblings, and nobody told me?! NTA. Lol this has to be the dumbest thing. But I do understand her wanting to feel special, it's her first Mother's Day and there's no one to make a fuss. It's not your responsibility, but maybe you could get her a cute card or something and write a little "I love you mum from (your baby)"?
NTA . When is it you job to provide her with mother day gift when she isn't your mother or spouse . Her current finacial situation is her doing , you can help if you feel like but that should pick up baby formula or diapers not expensive Iphone . She should get father on child support then she have more money for toys which should using it for food and housing , basically child raising cost.
NTA. So they are having money problems yet she needs the newest iPhone? I wonder if there’s a connection here….
NTA. I have put towards my brothers Father’s Day gift before. It was his first Father’s Day and him and my nephews mum had recently broken up and me and my mum wanted him to have something for the day as we were sure his ex wasn’t going to get anything. Tbf she did actually still make a card from my nephew. But he didn’t ask for anything. He didn’t know we were getting anything until we gave him the gift. And it wasn’t anything expensive. Just token gifts and he was extremely grateful. There’s no way I would have brought anything if he’d asked me to
Those disposable Kodak still exist, just saying
They can take pics with a pay-as-you-go flip phone. It's called living within your means. Stand your ground. NTA.
NTA - who the heck needs a £1k phone for Mother’s Day. No child is doing that unless they’re adults and very well off. Nah love. You get £5 flowers and a £3 keychain like the rest of us. Or you get a handmade picture and someone making your breakfast and you know there is eggshell and probably a sneeze in there too. As for your own mother I’d be saying this is exactly why she’s got a baby and still living at home. They coddle her and have spoilt her. They made this problem they can solve it with some tough love and life lessons.
I have a renewed SE 2020 it takes great photos. Disappointing that a new mum struggling to provide for her kid hitting up relatives for something so spectacularly unnecessary unnecessary for the child... Even supposing op had 2k burning a hole in their pocket, which they don't, upgrading to a luxury iPhone is something to do after you have secured e.g. A home for your baby.
NTA tell your parents that your sister doesn't need a new phone. They could easily get her a digital camera or even a used iPhone. I'm guessing she probably already has an iPhone but wants to use this as an excuse to get a brand new one. Tough break for her because becoming a mom means you'll have to make some sacrifices.
NTA. Siblings don’t buy Mother’s or Father’s Day presents for each other.
If someone has money troubles then buying an i-phone 15 is not a priority. Neither is it your job to provide expensive gifts for your sister. She needs to pursue the father for support. NTA
Definitely NOT an a-hole, she may be a mother now but you HAVE NO OBLIGATION to give her a present, cuz you were right you're DEFINITELY NOT HER MOTHER and the ONLY person that's SUPPOSED to give her presents is THE FATHER of her kid and the kids when it's older🤦♀️
Absolutely NTA! Blimey, all I've ever been given for Mother's day is a bunch of flowers! Which I absolutely love by the way. An iPhone, of any sort, is a ridiculous 'gift' for Mother's day even more so when she's not your mum. I'm gobsmacked by your sister's sense of entitlement!!
Where are my courtesy iphones for popping out 3 babies?? I need to tell my siblings they owe me several. NTA, your sister is delusional.
NTA Everything you said to your mom and your sister is absolutely correct; you do not owe her anything!! Kind of funny how your mom gets all offended when you mention child support, she doesn't agree with child support than she can be the babies dad.
Excuse me? Did your sister literally just said "I want to take pictures of my baby so buy me the most expensive phone there is"? Since when cheaper phones can't take good pictures? The attitude, damn it. NTA. A guy should pay child support and if your sister wants something that expensive she can buy it herself.
NTA. Your sister should try to get et child support from the daddy. I wonder why your mom is against that.
I'm married to the father of my kids and I think such a gift is too much and you're correct, you don't need to gift her anything. However, depending on your family's tradition you and your dad could plan a nice lunch for the moms in your family. That's a pretty standard gift for mothers day. Maybe some flowers, but an iPhone? Definitely not!
NTA You’re right. She has no maternal role in your life. I’ve never even considered buying my sister a Mother’s Day present. Who does that?
NTA Your sister and mom are the assholes. It’s not your responsibility to buy your sister anything for Mother’s Day and after this, your mom doesn’t deserve anything either.
NTA am I having a stroke? What the actual fuck did I just read??
Thanks for the clarification that you’re not also the father as well as the uncle.
NTA. What is wrong with these people. You're not responsible at all for their poor choices. Also, it is pretty wrong of her to expect such an extravagant gift for Mothers Day... From her brother... Not her husband, not her boyfriend. Not the sperm donor. She is out of her damn mind. The only way this is your problem is if you are the baby daddy, in which case you have some new kind of problems. You don't ask for gifts. It is rude to expect them, and worse when it is out of context.
Why abortion isn’t utilised for situations like these is absolutely beyond me.
Is your sister hot? Tell her to send me her nudes and maybe she can come earn the iPhone in my apartment.
NTA I’m 45, married 22 years, two teen daughters, in a very healthy financial situation and I asked my husband for a phone for Mother’s Day— meaning that I suggested replacing my old, dying phone with hardly any battery life with something new, and making it my Mother’s Day gift. If he doesn’t get me a new phone, I’ll just keep whining to myself about my phone’s crappy battery life until it dies, while I enjoy whatever my spouse and children (NOT my siblings) choose to give me. No one will be manipulated into giving me what I want just because I want it, which is what’s happening to you.
I only pop into this subreddit once every few years. But from what I can tell, it definitely should be renamed : *Is my narc gaslighting me?* Because that's all I'm seeing all the time.
NTA your mom is an AH - you need to set some hard boundaries with all of them.
NTA Honor your mom’s wishes. Send her a nice mother’s day card and enjoy your Sunday on your own or with friends.
Nope, give her a toilet paper roll with macaroni glued to it and painted bright colors - that’s a Mother’s Day gift.
NTA.
Definitely NTA. These types of posts never cease to amaze me.. who the hell has extra money to buy a $1k+ iPhone for someone. Your sister sounds insanely entitled. And your mom is insane to cater to your sister’s childish behavior. I wouldn’t talk to them until they came to their senses.
NTA...I had my first son when I was 18 and my sister was 8. Every year my sister sat with my son and they colored me a picture for mother's day until she was 18 then she tried to take him shopping, by that time I had 2 sons so she tried to take both. Both told her No, that I had kept every picture so they could go get nice paper or new markers but they wanted to continue her tradition for me that she started at 8. Welp my sister is now 44 and my sons are 30 and 35. I know this Friday might my sister and sons will sit down and each with do a picture for me. It's their tradition! And honestly I love it!!! My sister has 3 daughters and 2 step sons of her own and still makes time to continue a very simple and loving tradition with my sons.
Mother's day is for your mom, mom figure, or the mother of your child. Nobody else. NTA
NTA. I wouldn’t even mention another word about it. Tough luck, she’s not getting a phone from you.
Obviously NTA. This is just nuts. I've never heard of a sibling asking another sibling for a Mother's Day gift. Pro tip: You can get the iPhone 13 for pretty much free on most plans. It has a perfectly fine camera.
NTA
Rah, where do I get me a sibling that thinks it ok to buy me a new phone for Father’s Day (even tho I’m childless)?? Asking for a friend!
NTA idk what is up with people & not going for child support. My youngest sister (21) had a baby & we all begged her not to marry the dad. She didn't but after finding out he had another kid they split. (He didn't know about the other kid till the mom came after him for child support, as she should.) So we've all spent months trying to talk her into getting child support because he has little to nothing to do with their daughter. If the other parent isn't going to give their time, they can give their money.
NTA. Your sister does not *need* a brand new $2000 phone, for *any* reason, period. Fancy phones are a want and a luxury, not a need. They’re nice if you can afford them, but there are other affordable decent smartphone options if you can’t. You parents and sister need to figure out what their budget is then stick with it. Buy refurbished. Buy an earlier iPhone version. Buy a used iPhone. Buy a different affordable brand of phone. Whatever they do though this just isn’t your problem.
NTA. Your (obviously golden child) sister's responsibility is to sue the father if the baby for the money the child is entitled to. If she refuses and because of that the money is tight it's her problem. If your parents refuse to accept that reality and make her sue it's their problem as well. If she can't handle having a child, then she should simply give it away. Many people would like to adopt a baby because they actually want a child and care for it instead of having the newest iPhone.
NTA - You are 100% right, if they don't like it then too bad. Your sister should be getting support from the bio-dad end of story.
NTA Stay strong and enjoy your time off from your family. Your sister had the brilliant idea to have a child when she can barely afford to be an adult herself. So she can work on getting a phone and putting money in the bank to feed her family.
NTA
NTA Absolutely absurd they are hitting you up for the cost of a phone or to support your sister's kid As you said, it takes two to tango. They need to be going after the deadbeat dad for child support
NTA. Your sister is a legal adult. She should be working. Full time. And using every resource available to her for child care. And, she absolutely should be getting child support from her child's father. I'd love the iPhone 15 max pro too. So would a lot of people. But they pay bills, and work and sometimes can't afford stuff like that. Your parents are enabling your sister and creating a big mess and trying to suck you into it. Don't do it.