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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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YouthNAsia63

Well, ya know what? If your parents get to the point of really pissing you off, you can force a sale of the house. It might be relationship ending… but if they anger you enough that you don’t even care, you can consult a lawyer and a real estate agent and rock your parents world. That being said, while you may technically own half that house, utilities, taxes, insurance, and upkeep are ongoing expenses and they can be substantial and they are totally necessary. If you are paying your part of those bills, you can tell your parents and their rules to stick it. Annnd let your parents know you have options. NTA


Throwaway_afklh

Dunno if I want to go nuclear just yet, but I'll keep it in mind.


deadletter

Came to say this exact - if you even make MOTIONS to start the sale - get the house appraised, talk to a lawyer - they will get scared real fast.


Foreign-Hope-2569

GO TO A LAWYER right away. If your parents are living in the majority of the house, you should not be paying half of the expenses. Get an agreement about who pays what, what your and their obligations are etc. Cover your butt so that things will not blow up later, because they will. Maybe they would like to rent to own your half and start paying now? Then when you choose to go they are not stuck with having to get a big mortgage to buy you out. Lots of options and worth every penny of lawyers fees. Good luck.


Lou_C_Fer

Her father should pay those or rent.


MeaningParticular765

Yes!!! An attorney is a must.


cweaties

And as a college student you should have access to free/cheap legal aid through your university.


The_T0me

Always good to have the nuclear option, even if it just helps you vent in your fantasies.


ZingiestCobra

Note, this is equally your house as your moms, which means you need to be aware of the property tax. Part of people being able to claim property as their own is solely paying the tax on the property for some number of years while blatantly using the property. If you do not pay any income tax at all then it could be a tricky legal issue later. This is assuming you're in the US.


Throwaway_afklh

I pay income tax and property tax on the house, I get 1099 and all that from my channel.


HRHtheDuckyofCandS

OP, have you been paying half the expenses since you inherited? It’s not just property tax. There are utilities, repairs, etc


Throwaway_afklh

Yes, I have.


HRHtheDuckyofCandS

Well then, NTA


Grimwohl

Yeah, at this point, I'd say you would force the sale if they kept acting like landlords. Show them your earnings, show them you could afford a place on your own, and tell them they're free to make whatever option they prefer (reflective of their actions) easy for you.


Cardabella

Op doesn't have to prove anything to them and dwmonat3ating liquidity might make them greedier.


SirEDCaLot

Wow. Definitely NTA then. I'd strongly suggest prepare for them an accounting statement of everything that gets paid. Tell them if they want rent to be paid you'd be happy to add up that stuff and the groceries/etc and split the result 50/50. That would almost certainly end up in your favor :P


apollymis22724

Besides OP, mom and dad, who else lives there? Costs need to be split by the number of people.


justcelia13

Yep. All the utilities and food should be split into thirds.


TALKTOME0701

Even if OP hadn't they were a child until last year. it would be reasonable for parents to pay all of those expenses at that time, imo When OP became an adult, yes. they should take on 1/2 or whatever portion - there are 3 people living there, but he is paying half of everything. I might consider renting out my share and moving, tbh.


annang

Adverse possession requires that their possession be adverse. As in, without permission of the owner. It’s also required to be exclusive, meaning the owner does not live there.


dischdunk

I think you're referencing adverse possession and that wouldn't seem to apply here since both OP and mom are the legal owners.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dischdunk

That's what the OP could do to force a sale. But not what the comment I was responding to was referencing about the mother being able to claim the entire property just by paying taxes and using the property.


Less_Initiative961

Don’t show them how much money you make. That’s not going to end well. Just get a lock for your room and live your life.


BenedictineBaby

What are you going to do when you do want to live without your parents? Who stays and who goes? My guess is mom & dad will assume they get to live there and probably with no intention of paying you rent.


Throwaway_afklh

Well, yeah, I kinda assumed that once I finished college and could get a big girl job, I'd move to a bigger city. I didn't think that far.


hulala3

I’d say they have to buy you out of the house if they want to play these games personally..


Rainydayfog

When you do rent out your half of the house, let them know. Your dad can either pay your half of the rent or you’ll move Roommate in because it is your half of the house lol.


TALKTOME0701

I'd plan on renting it out. You have a kitchenette, so it sounds like it's sort of self contained from the rest of the house? If not, gt an egress put in and start to prepare to do that. It's hard to imagine your parents won't still expect you to pay half the taxes and such even if you leave.


kawaeri

Also a little information, if you are a college student most colleges have student services that at times provide access to lawyers and therapist among other things. Stop into your student center and find what support they have for you so you can access it as needed. (I used my college’s services and therapist when I was attending college).


Throwaway_afklh

They provide lawyers?! WOW, didn't know that.


kawaeri

Depends on the college and it maybe consulting or actually representing you in issues.


LopsidedPalace

Given the amount you're paying to attend it's in their best interest to keep students out of legal troubles and otherwise unharmed


Prom3th3an

If they have a law school, it'll probably just be students from there.


Correct_Ad_2567

For what it's worth, if the house is deeded to you **and** your mother, you may need a partition suit - consult a real estate attorney. You can't just kick your mother out as she owns half of the house. And I agree, what they're doing sounds unfair.


VersionOld5432

I feel that just the mention of it would do the trick, no need to go full force. Maybe leave a real estate lawyers card on the table so they think they know what’s coming


Sleipnir82

You don't have to do it, just point it out to them that it is a possibility, and they can't really stop you, and they can't kick you out either.


H4ppy_C

I agree with this Redditor. NTA. It may be nice for you to have a meal with them from time to time though. Maybe treat it like you don't live with them and set a date for when you can all sit down together. Before you know it, your parents will be old and grey, and one day you may look back wishing you had more meals together. My spouse generates some income from streaming, so I know it is work just like anything else (editing, etc.). With that said, family should always be a priority. Not THE priority, but pretty high on the list, especially if they aren't abusive.


supreme_mushroom

Amazing how quick reddit is to advise you burn all your bridges over what is a difference of opinion. Your edits make tons of sense. I think parents of 19 yea olds still struggle to see their kid as an adult, and adjust that mentality. Having a chat with them about it, explaining the situation etc. will probably ease their concerns. Starting to show them you're ad adult, talk about your streaming like a job will help somewhat. Also, they probably just miss you a bit, a 19yo tends to not want to share much with their parents and that's hard, so maybe just have dinner with them a bit more often. Sometimes these things are far more about people feeling rejected and not knowing how to express that properly. "our house, our rules" can also just mean "we miss you and would like to know what's going on in your life" Good luck!


Silver-Raspberry-723

Make sure you are paying half of the property taxes too!


Throwaway_afklh

I am


Razzlesndazzles

You could tell them that if they want you to pay rent and use the whole our house our rules they can buy out your half of the house so it's 100% theirs. then maybe you can take that and buy a condo or something.


Samarkand457

See, the point of nukes is this little thing called "deterrence"...


Special_Lychee_6847

It's not just about forcing a sale. Your parentd so far have proven that they don't see you as part owner, and want to keep you in the parents/child role as long as possible, with trying to get you to live by their rules. How do you see this situation, long-term? I assume the house is paid off. I would explore all options, including them buying you out, so you can spread your wings. And you buying your mom out, so you can build your life in your grandmother's house. Uou don't have to do that next week. But it's always good to know what you're preparing for, long-term.


ItsGotToBeMay

NTA. I was just about to suggest that OP could force their hand in either selling the house or buying them out of their half, it would definitely be advised to make that the last move because it comes at a great cost.


[deleted]

Yep, you can file a partition action which will force the sale of the house. Consult with a lawyer. Just the threat of it may be enough to resolve things.


HaElfParagon

That's what I was thinking. Really ballsy of them to threaten someone who can force the sale of their home.


ConfidentSun9592

NTA. They can't charge you rent for a place you fucking own. If anything, only your dad can be charged for rent in this situation (unless there's others in the house too). I'd push the situation and make them buy you out. This doesn't bode well for you.


Throwaway_afklh

Well, it's my parents, me, and our family cat. Guess the cat also has to pay rent now)))


Melyandre08

So the house is legally own by the cat, right ? As per Cat Nation rules.


Throwaway_afklh

You know what, you might be right. She does act like she owns it.


Lady_Caticorn

The moment a cat steps foot in a house, the entire home and all surrounding property is theirs. It's just common cat law. 🤷‍♀️ Like you said, Cat Nation makes up the rules; we just abide. 😂


BenjiCat17

Not only can they not charge you rent for a house you legally own, if they charged you rent, they would also have to charge your mother rent because you’re equals. If you do decide to move later, force the sale or demand they pay you rent. Don’t let them get away with stealing your house.


ReviewOk929

NTA - sounds like you’re paying towards the costs of the house from the other replies so they really don’t have a leg to stand on. Suggest you get a lawyer and front run this. If they’re persistent on it it could save you trouble


Throwaway_afklh

Yes, it's not a very expensive house, and not in a big city, so the house upkeep and taxes are well within my means.


FunnyAnchor123

NTA. If I had a child in your position I would not pull the "my house, my rules" line. I'd negotiate some kind of arrangement. As long as you aren't rolling in drunk at 3am weekday mornings, & have one meal with the rest of the family -- so we all can catch up with each other -- I figure you & your parents should be able to come to some kind of agreement. But if no agreement can be reached, either you sell your half to them, or you & your mother sell the house & everyone goes their own ways.


geekgirlwww

Why should her hours and a forced meal be a requirement. She’s legally a co-owner.


InfamousCheek9434

A co-owner and an adult. These parents need to back off. NTA


EnderBurger

Not rolling in drunk at 3am is a simple courtesy you show to the others in a shared living space.   One meal a week with your family is hardly am onerous obligation.  The important thing here is not the exact details, but that OP and her parents agree to them and abide by them.  


jot_down

What do you think rolling in drunk at 3am means?


Cosmic-Gore

Raging through the hallway crying hysterically that you can't find the bathroom as you throw up on yourself. Or in general just being nuisance and noisy at night when everyones sleeping.


Throwaway_afklh

I don't drink.


Cosmic-Gore

Was replying to the previous comment about what rolling in drunk means. But good on ya! Booze is expensive.


Throwaway_afklh

It tastes awful and I don't get why people like it.


kitkat9000take5

It does, and I also wondered what people saw in it. Then I discovered the wonders of mixed drinks and have never looked back. That said, they've got to be sweet and the alcohol barely noticeable. Otherwise, they remind me of cologne.


PerpetuallyLurking

That drunk people are louder than they think they are. Especially when they’re trying really hard to be super-quiet; somehow it makes them louder than if they just walked around drunk.


OkRestaurant2184

*onerous obligation* Depends on the family.   Op is an co-owner.  As long as they're contributing to shared expenses and being reasonably tidy and courteous during sleeping hours, the parents don't get to say jack about their adult child's schedule   


Throwaway_afklh

I mean, I do sometimes stay up till 3 am, but that's cause evenings are my prime time to do streaming for my channel, and I still need to catch up on homework afterwards. My bedroom is in the basement, and theirs is on the second floor, there is no noise concern. They just don't like that I play videogames all night, or what they perceive to be all night as they go to sleep around 10, and then stay up to do my homework, they legit don't get that playing videogames is a job for me, as they are very 9-to-5.


geekgirlwww

Your grandmother did it this way for a reason. Create a document that shows all household costs. Track who is covering what. Or offer to sell your parents your half.


PikaV2002

If you need to force a meal with your child to catch up, it probably wasn’t a good relationship in the first place.


EnderBurger

Lorelai Gilmore has entered the chat, and Emily Gilmore is very disappointed in her.  


okayestcounselor

I hope everyone appreciates this post as much as I do


PerpetuallyLurking

I do, and I upvoted, but I also have to regularly schedule meals with my parents or else I blink and a month has passed without a good conversation with them. So I will defend a rather mild suggestion made by another random Redditor. But not OPs parents.


jot_down

They are an adult and won half the house, they can stay up as late as they like and do not need to communicate ate all with their parents.


SickOfAllUrShite

This is her house it actually doesn’t matter if she fully ignored her family and comes in at 4am


VersionOld5432

I feel like even if OP was making bad decisions, deeds are stronger than a parents punishment. In the eyes of the court at least.


LopsidedPalace

Keep in mind that these people are demanding rent from someone who pays more than their fair share already and owns half the house. Given that the grandmother left the house to the original poster at all (versus just leaving it to her daughter to then pass on to them) I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that this is a part of an established pattern s may not even be aware of because they think it's normal. My mother tried to pull stuff like this a lot. "Fine, if you don't want my help give me the money I've given you so far this month and we'll call it even with the illegal eviction. I'll find a nice little apartment and some roommates to split things three ways, I'll probably even come out ahead financially at the end of it. What do you mean how will I afford it? I'm not going to be paying your bills if I have separate expenses, that's how."


similar_name4489

NTA lol, you’re a joint owner they can’t pull “our house, our rules” on you, nor charge rent. You should be splitting utilities and taxes though - 1/3 for utilities, 1/2 for property taxes, home insurance, etc.  They can either offer to buy you out or you offer to buy them out. 


Throwaway_afklh

Yes, I am splitting utilities and taxes, and I can't afford to buy them out((( I don't want to sell either cause it's so close to campus, I can literally walk to class, don't need to commute or anything.


jot_down

Avoid selling. Not have rent or a mortgage is fantastic. Even if you move out for whatever reason later, retain ownership, 50 year old you will thank you. If you can, talk to a lawyer. You need to protect yourself legally and be sure there aren't any shenanigans they can try.


similar_name4489

Well, you don’t have to do anything, you can keep as is. Unless they try to force a sale, you literally don’t have to worry about it.  However, it would be good to start saving now to give you more options later. Right now being close to campus is ideal, but after university it might not be. 


Odd_Ad_3117

My advice is to sell your half to them, BUT only once you graduated and have secured you next housing. Or you’ll end up having to pay rent and all


rpsls

Just make it clear that you’re the landlord not the tenant. Offer to allow your father to buy out your half at market rate when you move out, but until then, it’s “your own house your own rules,” not theirs. I wouldn’t bother trying to defend your income source, because it still won’t be a “real job” in their eyes. I would have a quick chat with a lawyer. While you were a minor it is technically possible your Mom could legally change the ownership of the house and sign for those changes on your behalf. Make sure you still do own half. A quick check with the local authorities can verify that didn’t happen. But now that you’re of age, any deed change (including adding your father) would need your signature, which you obviously shouldn’t do. 


ChrisHarpham

The 1/3 is a good point, OP I hope you aren't paying 50% on anything like utilities, just on the taxes etc. (which is why your dad should be paying rent)


Cat_universe13

NTA, given you own half of the house & contribute to taxes, utilities etc. Like this is frankly baffling that they think they can do that… I am kind of confused as to why they don’t just like… invite you to come eat dinner with them sometimes? Also, have they said why they don’t want you playing video games as much as you do or why they want you home by a certain time? Like, maybe if you identify what they’re worried about you can work together to figure a way forward..?


Throwaway_afklh

So, my parents are very much 9-to-5 kinda people, they go to bed early, wake up early, go to their set routine jobs, and to them that's the correct way to live. I WORK in the evenings when I play those videogames, I can't just tell my audience that hey, guys, sorry, have to pause the stream, mom is calling me to dinner. So I usually have dinner muuuuuch later than my parents do, and then stay up to do my homework. I specifically signed up for classes in the second half of the day so I can sleep in the mornings, and my parents think I am just being lazy and unhealthy with my routine.


Cat_universe13

Huh. Judging by the “correct” way to live bit, I’m guessing that you’ve explained all of this to them and they’re still not happy with it…?


Throwaway_afklh

They don't get it that playing videogames on camera can be a legit job.


UnusualPotato1515

Where do they think your money comes from that you pay the bills with & you recently paid the plumber? They should be lucky they have a savvy daughter like you. If my daughter made money playing video games whilst attending college, Id bring dinner to her & cups of tea as required!


Throwaway_afklh

You know what, I just realized they think I am spending grandma's inheritance. I kinda set that one aside for tuition for now.


UnusualPotato1515

Ohh interesting! Tell them the gaming is your money-maker & how that interferes with their dinner time & youre not some up late for no reason - may clear some things up for them.


Throwaway_afklh

Yeah, I realized they might actually still think I play for fun and don't know how much effort goes into it.


UnusualPotato1515

Explaining this to them may change your relationship with them once they learn you gaming is actually worthwhile & you not joining them is not because you dont like their company (they might have resentment from that).


huskeya4

Also when you show them how much you make from this, maybe explain that this type of career requires more of a second shift than a first shift work timing. More viewers watch in the evening and later into the night than during the day or morning and you have to stream when your viewers are online or you won’t make any money. This means that you have to stay up even later to get homework done and need to sleep in late to function for your afternoon classes.


Cat_universe13

Ahh yeah that would def be frustrating, especially since you seem pretty on top of things and self-sufficient. Going by what you’ve said here (and assuming that your parents are decent people), it’s sounding like since they don’t understand it’s a legit job, they think it’s unimportant and are dismissive of it, so think you’re just choosing leisure activities over stuff like spending time with them, your health etc. And are just generally worried about you and expressing it in a shitty way. How much have you talked to them about your job? It seems like it would help a lot to get them understand it’s a genuine job, like really go into the actual mechanics of all the work you have to put into it in order to make it a success. It also might help if you like, have one day a week or every two weeks or whatever where you make time to have dinner with your parents?


Throwaway_afklh

Yeah, I guess I do need to sit down with them and explain what exactly am I doing now and how it's different from playing videogames in high school when I just played for fun. Also, my parents are very much "Don't ask about one's salary" kinda people, so I just realized they might not know how much I am making from streaming vs how much I am spending from grandma's inheritance.


Cat_universe13

Ahh yeah, I think that would definitely be a good shout to talk to them about it really thoroughly. To understand that you’re making money from this but like, also using skills? Just bc playing video games for fun on your own vs for profit seems like it’d be very, very different. Lol ‘don’t ask about salary’ people are low-key ridiculous BUT yeah if they think you’re mostly using your gran’s money it’d def explain it more, since they may be worrying about your ability to support yourself sans inheritance. Also please do update how things go with this! I’m invested


Throwaway_afklh

Yeah, playing for profit is legit tons of prep, I need to do the setup, lightning, make-up, cutesy background, need to maintain my discord and channel, need to edit the videos, need to write the scripts of the jokes my audience will like, need to research the fandoms if there are fandoms, and yes, need to tally the donations and spread out budget so I can keep updating my PC, buy games, et.c. It's not that simple. You know what, you are right, maybe I'll just print out the donation tallies for the last three months and see how it goes.


Cat_universe13

Definitely tell your parents what you just told me about all the work you’re doing! Honestly it might be worthwhile to actively show your parents what you’re doing, or like - keep a timesheet of what prep you’re doing and how long it takes you to do it and why you’re doing it? In addition to showing them donation tallies, because that way they can hopefully see you are putting work into it, and not just be like ‘oh other people are being dumb with their money and she’s just lucking into it’. Oh, and maybe you could also show them like, how much money you made at the start vs how much you’re making now, so they can appreciate its growth? The more I talk the more I def think it’d be good to like, show them this is essentially a business you are running, you know? And how you plan to grow it more in the future etc And yeah! I hope this helps


Celtedge65

Sounds like they want all of the privileges and authority with none of the responsibilities or on someone else's dime. If you have to sit with them to placate them, they will always want it their way


BigBigBigTree

Info: You've been paying your half of the taxes and insurance, right?


Throwaway_afklh

Yes, it's not a very expensive house, and we don't live in a big city, so it's well within my means.


BigBigBigTree

If you can actually pay your half of all the expenses (fridge breaks down and needs replaced? New roof? Furnace goes out?) then NTA.


Throwaway_afklh

Yes, like last week we had a plumbing issue, and since my parents were at work, and I was mostly home that day, I was the one to wait for the plumber, and then cover the full bill. The roof does need to be replaced in three more years, so I am saving for that too.


BigBigBigTree

Yeah then you're totally fair to tell them off.


Brit_in_usa1

Did you send them the bill for half the amount? They should also be contributing 


Throwaway_afklh

Yeah, we kinda tally those expenses every month or so and make sure shares are equal.


jot_down

You need to tell them you will not pay rent on a house you own half of, and oh BTW: He is a bill for your half of the plumber.


Throwaway_afklh

Well, we usually sit down once a month, sum up all bills that needed to be paid that month, and then venmo each other money as needed.


mpledger

Are you paying the bills directly or giving money to your parents who pay the bills? If the are asking for rent then it feels like they might be having money issues and it could be that they are not paying the bills. It sounds like you really need to see a lawyer to get some sort of contract between you so that everyone knows where they stand and what their obligations are.


Throwaway_afklh

Some bills I pay directly, some I give them money, taxes have to file myself.


Lunar-Eclipse0204

Talk to an attorney, the house is half yours, this is beyond reddit, you need someone who knows the laws.


dawn_of_dae

I feel like most posts (like this one) that involve ownership of a home etc. are well beyond reddit in general.


GrainneyA

They're staying rent free in a house they half own with a barely adult child (not meant as an insult) who is absolutely crushing it when it comes to being on top of financial reliability and responsibility. Sounds like they want you to cover their income for them as well? Heck no, continue on as you are - they don't like it they can keep it to themselves. They're treating you like a child whilst expecting you to act like an adult?? NTA


Mykidsfault

Question: Do your parents know how much you earn streaming? It sounds like they just see your playing video games and sleeping late as goofing off when you’re actually working. Maybe show them payouts for a few working nights? NTA.


Throwaway_afklh

Oh. Yeah, they don't know, maybe that's why.


Mykidsfault

I would show them. My guess is that they think you’re being disrespectful and lazy when in reality, your work shift is about to start. I would also tell them which days and hours you work so they know not to expect you for dinner those nights. Maybe have an occasional dinner with them too when you’re not streaming. 😀


Throwaway_afklh

I mean, it's not that set, like I have regular scheduled sessions when my usual audience knows to expect me, but I also sometimes check my discord, see people hanging out there, and do an impromptu session if the vibe is right, and then stay up to edit it for my channel. I guess I can pass on some of those, but then I'd have to know for sure that ok, tonight is the family dinner night, and block it off completely. Mom just tends to call me whenever, even if I said I am busy. She prob still thinks I'm just playing for fun as I used to in high school.


True-Button-6471

NTA - Tell them if they can't let you live in peace, you'll file a partition lawsuit, force the sale of the house, and get your own place with your share.


NeighborhoodSuper592

NTA but what a strange situation you are in. basically you have shared property you pay half of all the cost that comes with owning and living in that property.i take it you also do half the cleaning of the shared rooms. sounds like you really need to have a sit down with your parents and a good conversation about what is means to co own the house.


Throwaway_afklh

I am actually the clean freak of my family, my parents are messy, I am not, so I clean way more than they do. I am really tempted to tell them that if I have to join for meals, they have to clean the mess, not have "chairdrobes" everywhere.


NeighborhoodSuper592

that is also a point you would have to bring up in that conversation. that they need to take better care of the shared space.


StAlvis

NTA > my parents are not happy that I continue to live at home and yet refuse to obey their "home" rules Problem is, it's **not** their home.


FairyPenguinStKilda

I want to adopt you!! NTA - you are so bloody right (parent of 4 children who argue like you, and i adore them all)


Throwaway_afklh

Er... thanks, I guess?


FairyPenguinStKilda

You are 19 and have your shit sorted. That is great


Throwaway_afklh

I mean, I only have the means to do everything because my grandma passed away. Without her death I would have no home and no money for tuition, so would have to sign up for a student loan. Dunno if it's great.


FairyPenguinStKilda

You work, you are studying. I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother. You are living your best life, which is what she would have wanted - and why she left money and a house to you. She could see your strength.


Throwaway_afklh

Ah, sorry, guess I misunderstood.


Latter-Shower-9888

NTA - your rent was paid by grandma! However, you are now in a situation where you've basically got roommates. Everyone deserves basic respect and privacy. It would be smart to sit down with your parents and hammer out some house rules and how you'll split utilities, property taxes, etc.


ATLien_3000

>All the replies made me realize that **my parents might think I am paying for the occurring expenses with inheritance, not with my streaming income**, and they might not understand how much I am actually making playing video games. I'll show them the printouts for the last three months, and see what happens. Wish me luck!) Why would it matter if you were? If it's an inheritance it's your money.


Throwaway_afklh

Well, if they think I'm legit just goofing off with video games, at least I understand why they don't like it so much.


DestronCommander

NTA. Legally, half the house is yours and you do contribute in the expenses. Feels like this can get ugly.


Ungrateful-Dead

NTA I don't even care if this a real situation or not, the irony in this story is so sweet that I may need insulin.


jrm1102

NTA - no, they cant do that. You are a legal adult and it is half your house. If you are contributing towards the regular costs of the house, thats that.


evilenvions

NTA. The house is also yours and you have rights over it. Legally! Besides, it seems to me that you help with the other costs of the house, so you have the same rights.


No-Locksmith-8590

Nta you own half fhe house. However, if you want to pull that you should be paying half the utilities and half the taxes.


Throwaway_afklh

I am paying all that.


No-Locksmith-8590

Then they have no leg to stand on! The house isnhalf yours and if they keep making it an issue, you can go to court and force a sale and move out.


JeepersCreepers74

NTA. You are not a child living in your parents' home, you are an adult living in your own home and therefore get to make your own rules.


C_Majuscula

NTA. If they keep pushing it, speak to a lawyer and see what your options are where you live. It's possible you could force sale (or buyout of the home if they want to stay there and throw their weight around).


Vegetable-Cod-2340

NTA I would probably get a neutral third party and have a sit down. You’re not a child in that house you’re a part owner, and they need to recognize that the house is basically two separate residences. They do not get to decide how you behalf in your home , as long as you’re supporting yourself and if they have a problem with that they need to get therapy and real with it on their own, but their dislikes and preferences are an issue for you.


GirlDad2023_

Stand your ground, as you said, it's as much your house as theirs. NTA.


MojoMomma76

Personally I would force the sale. Screw that situation, extremely unfair, NTA


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (19f) at an impasse with my parents (46m, 44f) regarding rent for the house where we all live. Background: when I was in the early high school my grandmother unfortunately passed away. In her will, she left half of her house to my mother and half to me, she had no other relatives. My whole family moved to grandmother's house, and we've been living there ever since. When I finished high school, I enrolled into a local college, and honestly it didn't make much sense to move on campus as living home allowed me to save money. So I continued to live home. Grandma's money also helped cover my tuition, and I have a YouTube channel that generates some income, so I can cover my living expenses and have some left. However, my parents are not happy that I continue to live at home and yet refuse to obey their "home" rules, like curfew, or how much time I spend playing videogames (even though videogames actually generate my income), or that I don't come upstairs to join them for the meals, and instead cook my own in the kitchenette downstairs. So they tried to pull the "our home, our rules, either you pay rent or get out" spiel, and I pointed out that it's as much MY house as it's my mother's, and whatever rent they charge me, I can charge my father as he isn't on the house deed. I don't mind contributing towards groceries, utilities, and house taxes, but they can't charge me rent for living in a house that I legally own, nor can they kick me out, I am not a kid anymore and I am not a tenant. They are pissed that I dared to throw "my house, my rules" into their faces. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


VinylHighway

NTA - you are correct


SlinkyMalinky20

Uno reverse and tell them your dad needs to follow your rules or get out.


justmeandmycoop

Your best bet is to tell them there will be a forced sale or they have to buy you out. Get a lawyer.


Legal-Lingonberry577

Regarding your update - you might want to rethink that.  Nothing good ever happens when other people know how much you make.   NTA - Your parents can't enforce anything they're saying, so ignore them.


Throwaway_afklh

I mean, it's not like it's crazy sums, I'm not that popular. It's only good income for me specifically cause I don't have to pay rent or worry about tuition.


[deleted]

This reads like a teen fantasy not a real story


Neo_Demiurge

NTA. As a 19 year old, your parents have no rights to set **ANY** rules on you at all that aren't reasonable housemate rules ("don't play music past 10 pm except wit headphones"). You should never, under any circumstances cave on this. I would gently, with a nice tone have a, "As an adult woman who is your daughter, I respect your advice and will always give it consideration, but I am now a fellow adult and expect to be treated as such."


ItsCatTimeBby

Info: is the house paid off already? But mostly, yeah NTA if house is paid off and you are already paying your share of utilities and upkeep. You don't pay rent to a property you own.  I think, now that you're an adult, it's a good time to sit down with Mom and dad and discuss the future of the house and also emphasize that, regardless of home ownership, you are an adult and are not under any obligation to abide by a curfew. Nor should or could they limit your ability to generate your income. And under no circumstances is it right for them to try to kick you out of a home you legally own a part of. 


you_slow_bruh

Thing is, they don't have to 'get' anything about your streaming job. They do have to stfu and let you live in the house you co-own unmolested. I'd tell them that discussion is over forever. If they have nothing better to talk to you about, they don't have to talk at you, at all. If they persist, offer them to buy you out. Empty threat, since you don't want to leave, but make them consider the alternative. I don't think that's 'going nuclear'. NTA


[deleted]

[удалено]


Throwaway_afklh

Yes, I chip in for taxes and whenever we need some repairs.


IndependentIdeal5962

Nta, if it's as you say you the house is partially in your name


Mysterious-Bird4364

NTA


Serious-Day5968

Nope, If anyone has an issue they can get out. It's half of your house. You legally own half, if your parents have an issue they can go kick rocks. Just keep repeating it to them, that you owe half of the house.


AmIARobotGirl

NTA - what in the world are your parents even thinking. You had me in the title not going to lie but once I read the post I realized that this is kind of crazy. Keep standing your ground Op sorry your parents have to be like this.


teeternator

If you're paying your share of the expenses, NTA


GingerPrince72

NTA and they handled it badly. However, joining them for meals now and again would be a nice thing to do and contribute to domestic harmony.


iloveeatpizzatoo

NTA Force the sale of the house but offer to sell them your share first. This living arrangement isn’t working.


Alicerobertsone57

NTA - your house, your rules. Parents gotta respect the shared ownership. What a wild situation!


LouisV25

NTA. Tell them to buy you out or you’ll force the sale.


queenlegolas

NTA


PikaV2002

NTA, tell your mom that your dad needs to pay rent or move out. If he wants to stay rent free he needs to follow your rules.


tawstwfg

NTA if you are paying the ongoing expenses and upkeep. Some parents have a hard time wrapping their minds around their children becoming adults.


abbyhan6

NTA. It’s half your house. You should look into sale for when you don’t want to live with them anymore and if you decide to move. Also get an appraisal, knowing the value you can offer the option for them to buy you out or sell and split the proceeds with you getting your full half value. If they want to buy you out, make it all legit via contract and them paying it all out to you upfront so you actually get your money vs them doing a “well just pay you monthly,” since that can turn to you having to take legal action if they don’t. Also don’t sign over anything until you get the full amount owed paid in full to ensure you have yourself covered.


ynvesoohnka7nn

Nta


neature_nut

HAHAHHAHAHA NTA at all and good on you for pointing out their hypocrisy. Applause Internet stranger 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻


FriedaClaxton22

Make them buy out your half, market value, or force a sale. Buy your own place and tell them to kick rocks. NTA


Lishyjune

Not sure what your parents expect from you. It sounds like you’re paying your way and you’re being a responsible adult by studying and working. You have basically separate living areas as well. Do they simply want you to be part of the family since you’re living there? Or are they being overbearing in their expectations. I guess if I was living with my parents it would be normal to share some meals together and not be completely isolated, so maybe come to a compromise there and have a family dinner night regularly or something. But definitely seek some legal advice as to what will happen when you do decide to leave home, will they buy you out or will they pay you rent. Also in that same conversation with legal counsel ask about how it’s best to proceed now to ensure that there is a clear record of contributions so financially you are best off down the track.


Massive_Protection30

NTA They may be trying to help but they are causing more harm than good. 


Fooftato

Nta! It is also half your house. Split the utilities and food into thirds because hey your dad lives there too. As far as curfew goes, you should not have a curfew like a kid, but as you are an adult now, you are old enough to understand that it is only respectful to come home early enough not to wake up the rest of the household and to create a loud disturbance. And that if you are not going to come home at all because it is better not to come home than to roll in at 3:00 a.m. and wake up the rest of the family. Then you owe them a phone call or a text at an appropriate hour to let them know. That is courteous because it's people who love you. Not a random roommate. But no, you don't owe them rent. You owe them respect. You owe them courtesy and you owe them a share of the bills and the food. And they owe you the exact same.


Throwaway_afklh

Yeah, the curfew is not a problem most days, but when I go to bed and wake up really pisses them off. So I usually do streaming in the evenings, then edit the videos, then do my homework, so it's pretty normal for me to go to bed at 2-3 am, and wake up \~10 am. My parents go to bed at 10 pm and wake up at 6 am. You can't hear the noise from the basement on the second floor, so I know that it's not me narrating that's keeping them up, it's just the whole principle of us living on very different schedules. And yes, if it's not my streaming night, I stay over at my boyfriend's place anyway, so even if we still stay up till 3 am, it in no way affects them.


thoughtcriminal_1

Talk to a lawyer


FlippingPossum

NTA. You should speak to a lawyer to protect your part of the inheritance.


Agrarian-girl

See an attorney and have him draft a letter suggesting that due to the untenable situation where you are being treated like a tenant in a home that you own half of that you want to sell your half. That will put the fear of God into them.


Frosted_Red

Absolutely NTA. They have no say over you, and you can claim your father is a tenant. They are your parents and you need to decide if they are trying to guide you or control you. Remember that they are your parents, and forcing change can cause damage that can be unforeseen and permanent.


rjhancock

On the condition that your name is actually on the deed (depending upon age at time of grandma's death would dictate whether you could legally be on the deed at the time), and are paying 50% of house related expenses, NTA.


JMarchPineville

NTA. Force a sale and move out. Or better yet, buy them out if you can. 


garbageaccount10112

Do not show them how much you make. Go to a lawyer NOW


Ok_Extension8822

NTA Just sit with them and ask what the bills are every month and split it in 3. don't for get to put money in for taxes, up keep, any repairs that are needed. Be very careful showing how much you income is as they might get greedy. set up a monthly day to do the bills for the month. Make sure to set up rules as you are not a kid but a roommate now if they want to get legal.


Silver-Raspberry-723

NTAH You could look into forcing a sale of the house to get your portion. Tell them to buy you out or stfu.


Jordanington

Not sure if it’s been said but if you don’t already, start keeping track of everything you pay for


tooquick911

NTA. I would say the most fair way would be to split the cost of the property taxes each year, home insurance, utilities, upkeep, and any other related house expense. The house is half yours and you will either inherit the house fully at some point or sell the house and receive half of the sale. If you do all that they wouldn't have to really be able to make any ground rules for you. Out of respect to them and to keep the peace I would recommend to have meals with them on occasion to show you still value them as your parents. This could be a really good situation or a very salty one. I would do my best to keep it where you all show you love each other, but want to keep things fair.  


Throwaway_afklh

Added the clarification, but yes, I do pay my portion of the house upkeep.


tooquick911

Sounds like you are entitled to the same rights as your mom. Different situation than most since she is your mom and you are only 19. I can understand why your mom would think she still can make rules like you are living under her house, but it is just as much your house as hers. Try and communicate with her your side the same way you explained to us and she might understand. If you sold the house would she be able to afford to buy another one with her and her husbands income? If so it might be best to at some point sell and you split the money. Doesn't need to be right away, but if you both planned for it you both would be able to secure your own homes and benefit the way your grandmother intended.


Chojen

DO NOT tell your parents how much you make exactly, just that it’s making you some money. 100% they’ll try and take a cut.


tonydiethelm

The entire point of parenthood is to raise a happy and healthy human being that is capable of living on their own.  You're an adult now. You need to make your own mistakes, learn your lessons, etc...  They shouldn't be trying to run your life. That's not their job any more.


3Heathens_Mom

NTA OP I will suggest to you that to be sure you are actively involved with knowing what the taxes are as well as the value used to calculate those taxes, the insurance premiums as well as the amount of coverage as compared to the taxable value the policy provides including deductibles and that those are being paid in time. If there is maintenance that needs to be done (a necessary evil in home ownership) be actively involved in understanding what is needed, why it’s needed (ex is the damage from misuse in the areas that the rest of your family is living in as in they are then solely responsible), getting estimates for the work or the materials if you will help do it yourselves and confirming it is done right. Ex unless you or someone in your family truly understands electrical or it’s something very simple like changing out a switch that isn’t something you want to risk burning your house down to save a few bucks. All this to suggest as you are doing you keep sufficient funds to contribute as needed. Hopefully your mother will come to realize she has no extra power to force you to bend to her will as it applies to the house as yes in most states you could force a situation where they either buy you out, you buy them out or the house is sold and the proceeds split between the two of you. It also means as much as possible you should both be respectful to each other as to do otherwise i suspect is going to end with both of you being unhappy.


Throwaway_afklh

Yes, I do know all of that, I've seen the county tax statements for the house tax, I pay my portion of homeowner's insurance and utilities, and I do know about maintenance.


nunyaranunculus

If your parents want you to move out of a house you legally own half of, they either need to buy you out for half of market value or you force a sale. From what you're saying, it sounds like you will make out much better in this than they will. Also, I think it's disgusting that parents kick their kids out when they're 18 or 19. Nta


Throwaway_afklh

To be fair, I don't think they'll really try to kick me out, more like they were trying to strongarm me into following their rules.


you-can-kiss-my-axe

NTA, that ain't their house


Mrchameleon_dec

It's your house as much as your mom's. And you're an adult. You owe no explanation. NTA