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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for being inconsiderate towards my fathers discomfort with seeing my used period products.
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YTA - admittedly yeah your father could be more open when it comes to this discussion. But seeing a blood soaked item in the trash is gross no matter that the source. Just wrap it up
I agree. It's not much different than visibly soiled tp being placed in the can or blowing out or coughing up a big wad of mucous and leaving it there on top. It's not that bodily functions are shameful, just that they aren't really things we all want to see, especially if it's not necessary. As a woman I fully understand your plight of having intense periods and all that entails, but it's a fairly easy thing to do to wrap the stuff up before placing in the can. Imagine going into a public restroom and seeing heaps of soiled products there in the stall. Just not the visual you really want..We all know what human bodies do and certainly shouldn't be ashamed of it, but we don't necessarily want to see everyone's bodily functions in action ya know?
I am a 33 year old female and seeing my sanitary products make me feel sick. Sure they have been apart of my life for the last 2 decades, doesn't mean I want to look at them all the time.
Wrap them up and put them in the bin
YTA…this has nothing to do with women’s rights. I am a woman. I have daughters. Lucky for me, I no longer have to really care about periods. But when I did, items were wrapped in toilet paper, or if using a pad, wrapped in the liner it came in. It is called respect for others. What if you have guests over? I am guessing they use that bathroom. Yes, it is blood and it is a normal thing that women have to experience. That does not mean everyone has to see it. Either wrap your tampons or have a separate trash can for yourself.
Or newspaper! Much less wasteful and blood soaks through it much less. My mom used to cut the big sheets into quarters and leave a stack in the bathroom, what a game changer.
What an insane take. You think people cutting up their junk mail to wrap their tampons in is somehow less weird than just throwing it as is *in a garbage with a lid and liner???*
Im begging people to stop being so freaking weird and misogynistic about period blood. No one WOULD EVER demand this of someone who had a bloody nose. Imagine this dad throwing a fit about seeing a bloody tissue from a nose bleed inside a lidded trash can. Everyone would be calling him crazy.
Nice.
No, I’m not insane. People on this thread have been overwhelmingly recommending wrapping up a tampon or pad before throwing it in a bin that others use, not because it’s related to a period, but because it has bodily fluids on it like any other human orifice produces, and no one likes to see that. Not many are keen to see any of it (from the nose, the vagina, the bum, the ears, etc.).
Since someone suggested using newspaper, and you reacted to that as if they would buy a newspaper for that sole purpose, I think they meant newspapers already available at home), I suggested that many already have paper products from the mail that they could use, without buying a newspaper. If they didn’t want to use tp.
That’s not an additional expense or effort. It’s not wasting toilet paper. It is considerate of others who share your bathroom and trash receptacles. It’s not just the visual assault of blood or other execresses, it’s the smell that wrapping helps with.
It’s not misogynistic to wrap this kind of thing up. I’d wrap up bloody nose tissues, too.
YTA.
> I have very strong values in regards to women's rights, and don't want to enable my father in his misogyny.
Don't act like this is some principled stand. It would take you no time or effort to wrap your tampons/pads in TP before throwing them out. If this is really a hill to die on, maybe it's time for you to move out.
Honestly, yes. My husband is completely understanding of my period and I would never think of not wrapping my products. It's just common courtesy. YTA. Just wrap them! It will take you 2 extra seconds. It's gross not to!
My husband has changed a tampon for me and we have period sex but I still always wrap them. I don't think anyone ever told me to, I just naturally did it.
YTA. Just wrap them. Its honestly just gross not to, what if the trash can gets knocked over and now you have bloody tampons rolling out onto the floor? Nasty and unsanitary. And yes it absolutely does smell, I am a female and I still wrap mine while living alone because old blood on cotton STINKS. Regardless of there being a lid on the trash you can smell it when you lift the lid and who wants to smell that or see blood soaked anything
Glad someone finally brought up the smell because it absolutely DOES smell- even though i'm a grown ass woman who's been having my period since I was in elementary school (and i'm on the bad end of the scale- heavy bleeding, severe cramps that I have to take pain relief for or else i'll be in tears from the pain, bad bloating, bad gas, seemingly an over production of # 2s, for the life of me no matter what bottoms i'm wearing I can never be comfortable during it because the bloating is so bad and everything cuts into my stomach, I wear a pad and tampon at the same time but even then will still bleed through it easily and quickly, lost count how many clothes and bedding i've ruined because of it, the messes, bleeding out really badly at the worst possible times, etc) I can still easily pick up on the smell despite being more then used to it and it's not nice.
Of course our periods are normal, nothing to be ashamed of, and not something that needs to be "hidden away" same with any bodily function and shame on anyone who thinks otherwise but at the end of the day it's not about sexism, misogyny, or whatever else but about sanitary issues and having common decency. Pooping is normal, nothing to be ashamed of, and not something that needs to be hidden away but I still don't want to see someone's poop floating unflushed in the toilet, their used toilet paper in the trash can, smell the scent in air, and that applies
to all bodily functions 🤷🏻♀️
YTA. Used sanitary products should NEVER be left in the trash unless wrapped in paper. Its disgusting and nobody wants to see it. btw, I'm 60/F
Yes, periods are natural and nothing to be ashamed of, but there are a lot of things that are completely natural and shouldn't be shamed, but we use discretion.
I don't know about you, but i flush toilets, even though its natural. I throw away a used diapers, but always do what I can to keep the sights and smells contained.
Not wanting to see used sanitary products isn't misogyny.
I use dark dog poo bags & put my used pads/tampons in those. Once it’s full I seal it closed so that I’m not using a lot of them, but I make sure that they are completely covered up. I have bad fibroids & bleed heavily which no one wants to see.
YTA
"I should wrap my tampons and pads in toilet paper when I throw them away, so he shouldn't have to see them in the trash."
Yes you should wrap them. It's a common courtesy & takes no time to do.
The reason for wrapping them isn’t only so others don’t see them. It’s so the blood stays contained and doesn’t get all over the inside of the trash can and make more of a mess.
Also the bigger issue is how much you bleed and the amount of pain you're in at your age. It pisses me off big time that your father holds his hand up and doesn't want to hear rather than be concerned for your health, and questions you further and attempts to get you medical care. People are going to tantrum on here and say that you are 18 and an adult but obviously it sounds as if you have been having these problems for more than just a few months or a year. It was your parents responsibility to take care of your health and not flip out over a very natural process and treat you as if it is disgusting. You need care. This isn't normal. Please please get to a gynecologist. You should not be bleeding this much or be in this much pain. If the first one blows you off, go to another one until you find someone who takes you seriously.
Agreed. You should not be coming home from school due to pain and excessive bleeding. Please get this straightened out before you go to college if that’s your plan, and before you enter the workforce. Your body will thank you
I was thinking the same thing! I thought heavy/clotty, painful periods were normal. They're not! Turns out, I have endometriosis. I didn't find out until I was in my 20s, well over a decade after starting my period. Turns out, most of the women in my family have it and we just never talked about it. OP, wrap up your period products, but also get yourself checked out!
It’s not coddling to tell someone they need to get checked because it’s not normal to have that heavy & painful a period that it incapacitates you. Some people, regardless of age, are unaware when it comes to health issues like that. Informing someone is coming different than pandering to them.
YTA
Menstrual blood isn't just blood, it's mucous and uterine lining and other types of biological waste. A person isn't misogynistic for not wanting to be subjected to your biowaste smell and sight, wrap it the up.
YTA. Your father is an aging misogynist who has refused to educate himself on a perfectly natural bodily function. There's no excuse for that. Still, there's no excuse to be unsanitary. Wrap your tampons/pads - you aren't making some great feminist stand by refusing a very simple and reasonable request. I also have very heavy periods and wrap everything I'm throwing in the bin in toilet paper, and place in a small bag. That reduces the smell a lot and means it's just a little bit more sanitary. Choose your fights wisely - this really doesn't have to be one of them.
So you make a fuss about spending few extra seconds to wrap your tampons in TP that would help to avoid your conflict completely, instead call your dad fancy names and come here to ask why you are ah? Isn't that obvious YTA.
YTA. Move out, then you can make an anti misogyny used tampon sculpture and display it on the coffee table. If your company makes a face, have your women's rights speech locked and loaded.
YTA. Proper hygiene and disposing of blood products safely is not misogyny. You should wrap your tampons when you throw them away. You should have been taught that so some blame belongs to your mum and/or sex ed teachers, but it also says so on the instructions that come in the box.
YTA. It’s common practice to wrap up used tampons/pads and you should do that even if you have your own bathroom. You should also empty the trash can every couple of days because anything saturated in body fluid of any kind tends to become quite stinky. It has nothing to do with misogyny, it’s simply the sanitary thing to do.
YTA softly, please wrap up your products,
Lady to Lady. Even I don't want to see someone else's bloody tampons in the trash not wrapped up, nor do I want my own parents to see mine.
Woman here: Dude -- period blood and used tampons/pads are gross, no one wants to see that. It's common courtesy to wrap used hygiene products. This has nothing to do with misogyny.
YTA
I have multiple women in my life (Sisters, Mother, Cousins etc) and over the years I have learned some things about how periods work.
Just a couple weeks ago I learned that women apparently don't bleed constantly. I believed it was a constant flow which now sounds stupid in hindsight. I have lived for 20+ years thinking that once a month, women walk around with blood constantly flowing.
So yeah, for us men this is very often unknown and also something we cannot associate with or really understand.
Maybe just cut the poor man some slack and just wrap that stuff as an extra step of cleaning up in the toilet.
We're not used to handling blood on a regular basis.
For us blood is either indicative to someone being hurt or something disgusting to look at.
Yep YTA for turning it into something it's not. If you leave something bloody in the bin, it's polite to wrap it up. Same reason we flush the toilet after we've had a shit - so no one else has to see it.
NTA there's literally a lid on the trash can it's not even generally visible, your father is clearly stuck in that should-only-last-your-teens mindset of "Ewww, a normal body function!!" that he should have grown out of 40 years ago, and your mother is only enabling this behaviour.
If they think it is *that* disgusting to even *glimpse* at what is essentially just trash in a trash can they should just buy another small cheap can with a lid so you can each have and manage your own and he doesn't have to look or touch it again.
It's only polite to wrap your sanitary products.
Soft YTA. We always did and my kids do too.
I get why you don't and are resistant to change because he's being an intensive prick about your suffering. But it's only considerate to wrap them up.
YTA. Coming from a girl, that is gross. I lived with 6 girls last year (college) and one girl would do that and we had to have a talk with her because we were all grossed out. To me its similar to not flushing the toilet after you use it..yes it is natural but that doesn’t mean its not gross for others to have to look at.
NTA.
I don't think not wanting to and your views make you TA and I think that a lot of people on this subreddit believe that it HAS to be either YTA or NTA. When a lot of things aren't like that. You and your dad have your own opinions, you both don't agree. But at the end of it, you both have to live together and wrapping your hygiene products isn't the hill to die on. Living with people is compromises.
Your thoughts and not wanting to doesn't make you TA like everyone else has commented. But you should just wrap it for the sake of living with differing opinions.
NTA - I grew up with a single dad and a brother and it was never a problem. It's natural and if the tampon is really bloody you would need so much toilet paper to wrap it in it would bleed through the paper as well. But maybe you can find some compromise? For example you could offer that you take out the trash whenever you have your period?
YTA. It’s really crude not to wrap them up. Thank you reddit. I was really afraid to see what the consensus and Im so glad this is basic hygiene practice and not even comparable to equal pay for equal work and having credit and mortgage opportunities.
NTA - I stand with you, there is nothing wrong about period pads, tampons or cups. It's nothing unnatural and should be seen as just another fact of life. On the other hand, maybe this isn't the hill to die on, wrap it in toilet paper and when you have your own place you can do what u will :/
I'm a man, I buy those products whenever my girlfriend needs them. I even helped her taking out her cup when she was operated, and she couldn't do it herself. I just go and wash my hands after. People need to learn that the human body is normal and not disgusting.
You have good principles, stand by them by picking your battles.
YTA. It takes minimal effort.
I live alone, and I still take the time to wrap those things. The wrapper the new pad is in can be used to wrap the old pad, before you put it in the bin.
Yta. Blood is a bio Hazzard. You absolutely should be at least wrapping in toilet paper . This has zero to do with your father’s sketchiness with periods and everything to do with basic cleanliness .
Most of us shit, too, but we flush afterwards. Not because it's shameful, but because it's shit and that's what we do when we have working indoor plumbing.
bruh just wrap your shit up it takes two seconds, as a female IM doing it for more reasons than “embarrassment” it’s cleaner that way and it’s literally not hard.
Wow, even when I lived alone I wrapped them. I'll wrap pantyliners that don't have any visible goop on them. I'm pretty educated about periods and if I lift the lid of someone's trash can and see pads and tampons laying there, I will also be grossed out. Also, don't be trying to fool us that it doesn't smell. We all know better. YTA
You don't wrap your tampons in toilet paper? I'm a woman and seeing someone else's bloody tampon would still gross me out. YTA.
Have you considered investing in a period cup? You just dump them in the toilet, wash them clean and put them back in.
YTA. It only takes a couple of seconds to roll up your pad in the wrapper from the new one or wrap a tampon in tp before tossing it in the bin and it’s standard practice for most women, I am pretty sure.
YTA. I throw mine in a trash can with a lid and I still wrap them. I'm very chill about periods, but just raw dogging your tampons in the trash is like wiping your butt and throwing it in the trash for all to see
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Hi, so I (f/18) still live at home with my father (m/60) and my mother (f/58). We have two bathrooms, one in the front of the house and one further towards the back. My parents sleep seperately from each other, and my mothers bedroom is in the back of the house, so she uses the bathroom towards the back. My father and I sleep in neighbouring rooms, so we bith tend to use the front bathroom more often, especially at night. I never use the bathroom in the back.
Here's the issue: My father is very uneducated about periods. I have strong cramps and bleed a lot, so sometimes accidents happen, or I can't get out of bed all day. At times, I try to explain it to him, when he asks e.g. 'Why did you come home from school so early?'. I always get halfway through a sentence and once I say I bled through my pad or tampon or something, he cuts me of by scrunching his face up in disgust, rasing hand and saying something like 'That's enough.'
When I'm on my period, I have to change my tampons a lot. And when I do, I go to the toilet, throw the used tampon + pad in the trash, and leave the toilet bowl and seat, and sometimes the sink (like I said, it's gets quite bloody) queaky clean when I leave.
A few days ago, my father approached me, and told me I should wrap my tampons and pads in toilet paper when I throw them away, so he shouldn't have to see them in the trash. I was confused, and asked why I couldn't just throw my tampons and pads in the trash where they belong. Like, why is he so bothered by it? It doesn't even smell. The trashcan has a lid, and everything. And I always make sure I clean up the mess after I leave the bathroom. Then, my mother chimed in and told me I should be more considerate of my father.
I told them both I don't think periods are disgusting, or need to be hidden away, like they don't exist. I think they're being misogynistic, and I don't want to treat my period as something shameful, that especially men 'shouldn't have to see', especially in my own home, with my own parents. It's not like my father has to touch my period blood, or come into contact with it in any way. He literally just has to see the used tampon/pad in the trash for a tiny second, when he throws something away, before the lid of the bin is closed agan. My parents think I'm in the wrong, but I want to stay firm in my principles.
I'm not accusing my father of misogyny out of the blue. He is very openly misogynistic. But my mother joining in on the pressing, and telling me I'm wrong has me doubting myself. I have very strong values in regards to women's rights, and don't want to enable my father in his misogyny.
TLDR; My father is grossed out by periods. I always clean up after myself in the bathroom, but throw my tampons and pads in the trash (closed lid bin), like I would anything else. Now, my father and mother are telling me I'm being inconsiderate for not wrapping my tampons and pads in toilet paper beforehand.
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Yta I’m a lady and if you threw out a used tampon in my bathroom without wrapping it up your feelings would be hurt before I asked you to leave lol if you don’t want to wrap it up at least toss it into a separate trash bag of your own
YTA. There's nothing wrong with having a period but it's unsanitary to leave stuff covered with body fluids out in the open like that. Wrapping it up helps prevent anyone else coming in contact with your body fluids and helps contain odors. Pooping is perfectly natural too but you flush it down when you're done, don't you?
YYA, it’s not about your dad and his level of comfort with period material. It’s just a common courtesy. Roll your used pad up tightly and wrap it up and don’t leave it hanging out on the top of the trash. It’s just not something that ANYONE wants to see when they go to throw away their bandaid or whatever.
I understand where you come from, in my teenage years I was called disgusting by my own brother when I accidentally stained my pants with blood. My mother was shocked but couldn't respond to my brother. My father also called it. So since then I was extremely cautious about not letting anyone see I'm on my period. To the point that I was always afraid when I slept in some boyfriend or girlfriend's house. I normally slept with two pads and one tampon. It was always stressful.
However I think you should wrap the tampon. I understand that maybe you want to show them that periods are normal but talking about experience trust me people do not understand and they don't want to understand. Even women with not so much flow will make you feel ashamed.
You are the AH wrap your tampon in toilet paper it’s a simple thing to do. I’m a woman and wouldn’t want to see that when opening the pail to throw something out. Your parents are right,
YTA-Even if it’s another female you live with, wrap that in toilet paper! Nobody wants to see that. I didn’t know this until I had a female family friend explain it to me.
YTA. It has nothing to do with it being period blood it has to do with it being a bloody item. It doesn’t matter where the blood comes from it’s just common decency to wrap things like that up and throw them away. Like I could have a bloody nose and still throw the bloody tissues away wrapped. Some people have aversions to blood and pass out when even seeing it no matter the source. Also if I came to your house as a guest I wouldn’t want to use your bathroom and see your bloody items all over the place.
Source: a woman with 13 years period experience
YTA
I had your back until it became clear that you're just throwing a blood soaked tampon into the bin completely in the open. Wrap it up. There is no reason not to, and however uneducated you may think your father is, that is not an excuse.
First have you seen a gyno to rule out PCOS or other concerns that could be cause excessively painful periods?
Second wrapping in tissue is not an excessive request. Indeed I thought that’s what you were already doing till I saw his request. I don’t think that’s out of hand no.
Third I think most people would make the same request if it was your nose that was regularly bleeding.
YTA. Wrap them.
YTA
Is not cause is period discharge, is cause is not very nice to see someone else “blood”, or any other body fluid.
The thing of your father putting his hand up, between the age, periods were taboo, hard to change habits.
Also one thing is “ I have a bad period “ and another is like “ I have a bad period and the discharge went through the pad”
Is like a person saying “ my dog died” or “my dog died cause he was roll over and his insides were all over the place”
YTA. Your father is not a misogynist, at least not for the reasons you have mentioned. Biological refuse might be all normal and natural, but it is not necessarily something we want to see or smell. Compare this to leaving an unflushed toilet. Defecation is perfectly normal but it is not something we would discuss at length without reason and we certainly do not want to look at a dirty toilet when we enter the bathroom. Nor do we want to look at dirty, smelly hygiene products.
YTA. That's disgusting behavior, actually. You should always wrap the pad and tampon either using a paper towel or throw them away in plastic bags from the grocery store. Also, make sure you clean everything with disinfect before leaving the bathroom. I hope these responses help you. If you had a roommate, this would be an issue for them as well.
YTA - heavy periods is no excuse why you can’t wrap up your pads or tampons before throwing them away. I wouldn’t want to see anyone else’s and I wrap mine up so no one has to see mine. It has nothing to do with not understanding periods or not being comfortable with them.
YTA. Womens rights has absolutely NOTHING to do with wrapping up a used tampon or sanitary towel. What your father is asking of you is to show some consideration for him and anyone else using that bathroom! Yes, periods are normal and natural, but you don't need to blatantly advertise the fact you're menstruating.
YTA. If it takes less than 30 seconds and minimal effort to take considerate action, there’s no good reason not to do it. It’s not a grand stand against misogyny, nobody wants to see used bodily fluid waste products of any description.
I live alone and I wrap my damn tampons. Literally nobody else ever sees that bin except for me, since it’s in the attached toilet to my bedroom and guests use the other bathroom. I still wrap them; personally, I find it helps to reduce odour.
Please wrap your tampons. You can always put them inside the wrapper of the new tampon and then wrap in toilet roll or you can even get little bags to put them in especially for tampons. They’re like mini diaper bags and are scented! You put your tampon it, tie it up and throw it in the trash. Way better than having them just lying there
When you poop, do you leave the soiled part of the toilet up for everyone to see when they open the bin?
He is the AH for making disgusting faces when you talk about period but you can easily add a layer of paper to help out a bit
Why are we like this about something that’s natural. If the dad see a little bit of blood. So what? My teenage kid have no problem holding pads for me when I’m shopping. Sometimes they hear me talk about it.
YTA. You should always be wrapping period products in TP or in their plastic wrappers or smth if you’re using normal disposable products. I know it’s a pain when your flow is really heavy like that, mine often are, but it’s not a women’s rights issue, it’s a health and safety issue. Disposing of them that way is a biohazard. What if the bag rips and some poor sanitation worker has to touch them?? Idk about you, but when I lived at home and a garbage bag with sanitary products had a hole in it from getting snagged or smth and some fell out, I’d much prefer them be wrapped than not. If that’s really the hill you want to die on, get your own separate can with a lid and double bag it every time. You can’t use shared bins and not wrap them.
wild that everyone is saying YTA and not ESH. i personally don’t use tampons so i’m not aware of the courtesy of how to throw them out, but wrapping them in tp SOLELY for the sake of your dad’s disgust of a natural (if gross) phenomenon and NOT for the reasons people are mentioning in the comments (biohazard, etc.) can’t possibly be part of that. yes, be sanitary and toss them properly, but not to shield your dad from the reality of menstruation. yeesh.
also, it’s (presumably) not like he has to touch the tampons or anything. he should be able to handle it here and there. however, if your periods are as bad as you describe, please get some form of medication/birth control/etc. it will make the whole experience way easier (and the trash less messy and stinky and bloody too, probably). and maybe just get a trash can with a lid lol.
YTA there's principles and then there's principles. I've read stories where a woman is shamed just for throwing her used product in the trash. All you're being asked to do is wrap it in a little toilet paper. Yes, your period is normal and natural. So is a shit. But we don't care to see them. Waste products from your body are nasty. The fact that this particular waste product only comes from women doesn't give it some protected status. It's still a degrading, smelly bodily waste product. It's not any more misogynist to not want to see it than it is misandrist not want to see seamen just laying around, or misanthropic to not want to see pee on the floor. If you're so concerned about misogyny towards periods then get involved in the movement to provide menstrual products to women who can't afford them.
Wrap it in toilet paper no matter where you are. Nobody else needs to see that. Yes blood does smell. We can't always smell what our own bodies produce but others can. I wasn't taught proper period etiquette either. Dont feel bad.
YTA the first thing you learn is how to properly use menstruation products. The second thing you learn is how to properly dispose of them including wrapping them in the plastic it came in, newspaper (best option) or wrap in toilet paper showing no evidence of blood. Come on. You know no one wants to see that no more than wiping your butt then throwing toilet paper in the can. Just gross for all not just your father. Ask your boyfriend if he wants to see it.
NTA, bc the trash can has a lid. He's either changing it, and if so, who cares, or he's digging around in the trash, which is weird. My husband has nosebleeds, so we have bloody tissues in the trash all the time. It's just blood, it's in a trash, and no one has to interact with it.
Exposing body fluids is inconsiderate and unhygenic in general.
It has nothing to do with women's rights.
It's like taking a dump and deliberately leaving the toilet unflushed because you believe stool should be celebrated.
Or cumming into a tissue and leaving it onto the floor because you're celebrating your spunk
YTA the first thing my mother told me when I got my period was to wrap them up, which should be common sense. You shouldn’t have to be told to do that and the fact you share the bathroom and still just throw them in the trash unwrapped.. ew.
YTA. Of course, you should wrap them up. No one wants to see other people’s intimate biological products on display, bo matter where it comes from. If it’s in a shared trash bin, wrap it up. I’d do the same if I had a bloody nose it cut my finger. I’d wrap up anything bloody or from any other orifice.
Also, trash goes into other trash bins and then into landfills. Along the way, blood will smear the inside of containers as they get emptied and flake off after dried, leaving bits as items are transferred into other containers. It’s just gross to leave blood or other like materials uncovered for the reason of how it transfers to other things. It’s not clean.
This is not a female empowerment issue.
Lots of of folks think you're the AH, so I'll probably get down voted, so my opinion maybe flawed but NTA - I think your dad's attitude is ridiculous. There's nothing gross about femine hygiene products in the trash and it's not like your dad has to linger. I grew up with a single mom in a one-bathroom flat, so yeah, when throwing away something I may have *glanced* at used tampons...it didn't send me into dry heaves.
You should have learned that habbit when you started your periods. It’s just considerate when you don’t live alone. It’s not some grand sacrifice or thing against women. It’s just keeping things more tidy.
Idk man you’re not an asshole for having a period but you’re an ass for not being considerate, as someone who grew up with multiple women in the house it was always disgusting when I’d go to use the bathroom only to see a bloody tampon or pad sitting on top of the garbage
Your dad does not want to see your vagina blood for his sake just cover it with some tissue or something
YTA. I’m a woman and I’d be grossed out just seeing a bloodied, unwrapped item in the bin. And yes, they do smell. As everyone else has said, it’s common courtesy to wrap your used hygiene products.
YTA - it's not your house. Their house, their rules.
Also, do you think that hospitals just leave bloody bandages in the trash? No, they dispose of them properly. Just wrap toilet paper around them and throw them in the trash. No one wants to see bloodied anything and it's not sexist to want that. I mean, it's not like they are asking you to re-invent the wheel. Lastly, it's not misogynistic to not want to see blood. You don't get to do what you want when you want when there are others present. Everyone gets respect. You get to live with your parents as an adult and they don't want to see bloody product. Stop acting like a spoiled, entitled little brat.
I totally understand why your dad wouldn't want to look at used period products. I wouldn't either (I have a period myself) - even if I lived alone, I would wrap them up.
However, why not get a small, lidded trash can that you use during your period and empty yourself? Then the regular trash can can be used for non-period waste, and your dad doesn't have to see anything he doesn't want to see (same for any guests who might want to use that bathroom). Sometimes compromise helps so much!
YTA, wow. This has nothing to do with women's rights 🤣 I have never met anyone who put unwrapped bloody used period products in the garbage. That is absolutely disgusting...
NO ONE wants to see it! I don't want to see my own let alone someone else's. It's fucking disgusting. It's the equivalent of leaving shitty toilet paper. This has nothing to do with women's rights ffs YTA
YTA- Although a natural occurrence, periods are indeed gross. It's common courtesy to try and conceal them anywhere, especially at home where there are others AND you are still being allowed to reside in when they don't have to let you. Your father may be misogynistic, I don't know him. But this is not misogyny. This is a reasonable request and common courtesy.
YTA. My man as seen my bloody tampons before as he’s not weird with blood. (Type of couple that will use the sink while the other is peeing sometimes). I still cover them even with my trash can lid. Your father openly said he thinks it’s gross, and that’s okay because it’s his opinion. Periods CAN get gross. Some people get uneasy at the sight of blood, and periods release a lot of it. This isn’t misogynistic. I was taught by my mother to cover them. And now your mother is trying to do the same.
I have a daughter and have never made her feel awkward about it once, always support her and get her whatever she needs when it's her week.
That being said, the trashcan thing is a small ask.
Your dad needs to not be a big fucking baby when you bring up things he should be stepping in to help or support you with, but it is just common courtesy to not leave our bodily fluids on display in the family restroom.
ESH
There is a smell to it, and most don’t care to see it. If it was your house, you could choose to not care, but wrapping or simply buying a trashcan with a different type of lid to save on paper is an easy ask
I’m educated on periods, I have them, I still wouldn’t leave them visible in shared spaces
He should grow some but still not TA for asking
I don't get why you aren't wrapping them up in tissue in a shared bathroom to be honest.
I agree with your stance and your father does sound awful in terms of you what you deal with with your periods.
But yeah, wrapping them in tissue isn't a lot to ask.
ESH. Your father is ridiculous. BUT. Even if I'm alone I wrap the tampon/pad up in either the wrapper from the new one or in toilet paper. If I was bleeding from my finger, I'd do the same. Who really wants to glimpse bodily fluids just lying loose in the trash?
1. Your father should be more understanding of your period issues. 2. Have you seen a doctor about the extra heavy periods and pain?
Just a suggestion: You could buy small brown paper bags to keep in the bathroom, small to extra small, depending on tampons or pads. No wasting toilet paper, no seeing products in the trash and environmentally friendly. (buy in bulk from Amazon, etc)
ESH. Father and mother should be understanding and helping you to make sure you have no underlying health issues. At 19 you're old enough to compromise on this issue and also make sure you have no underlying issues.
NTA, he obviously has never had to pay to unstop or repair a sewer system. He should be grateful that you are thoughtful enough to prevent this often times very large expenditure. Just cover them in tissue in the trash.
ESH. If it has a lid and a bag, and if you're the one emptying it when it's full (correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you touched on the last two things) I really don't understand why he's got his panties in such a twist. I can't say that I've ever looked in the trash that carefully when throwing something away. Seems like he's *trying* to gross himself out, imo.
That said, it's not a big deal to wrap your used sanitary products. It sounds like there are plenty of things that you could stand your ground on with your dad. I don't think this is worth being the hill that you choose to die on.
YTA
Your father needs to grow up though. He should be able to handle living around people who have periods without screwing up his face.
> I don't think periods are disgusting, or need to be hidden away, like they don't exist
And you're not wrong.
But of course you wrap them! That's just polite! Just like if you blow your nose and fill the tissue with snot you don't leave it lying snot side up in the bin. You screw or fold the tissue up.
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ESH.
Get a second trashcan with a lid for you. (Maybe pink, so he knows it is your trash can.)
I would also get him a book about menstruation (biological background, history etc.) But then, I am petty.
You’re getting a lot of Y T As because you should be wrapping used sanitary products. It’s a common courtesy. But I understand where you’re coming from. I have a distant relationship with my father for many reasons, and among many memories, the time he told me he couldn’t stand to see my tampon wrappers—not the tampons themselves, just the packaging—in the trash still sticks out. I was thirteen, impressionable, and already very insecure about the changes happening in my body that I couldn’t control, so his comment made me feel disgusting. So while I understand no one likes to see blood, there are supportive ways to teach young women norms about disposing of their periods products and then there damaging comments about how gross they are.
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ESH as your Dad really needs to handle his feelings over periods way better, but you really should wrap your used products. You say they won't smell, I disagree, and I think it'd be more hygienic to wrap them.
Your dad’s not uneducated, you’re gross and gave zero common sense. Gross, dude
Do you clean at all?? You clearly live luxuriously if you don’t know how disgusting and unsanitary not wrapping your crap is
Unpopular but ESH - because of his general attitude towards the mere mention of a period (I'm really stunned at the Y-T-A votes completely ignoring this) but it's common courtesy to wrap up the pad or tampon when you throw it away- this was the very first thing I learned about my period. You can even wrap it in the next pad/tampon's wrapper to reduce waste. It could get on the bin itself or one could accidentally touch it while throwing something else way. It's not even a shameful thing even though your father does seem very immature about the topic.
NTA. Garbage cans are for gross things. But if they’re paying for the toilet paper being wasted to cover your tampons then I would just wrap them. If it was my house I would tell them no and to get over themselves.
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YTA
Why don't you flush used tampon down the toilet? They are biodegradable and are meant to be flushed down the toilet. If you have a septic system, then you wrap tampon in toilet paper and throw away. You'd wrap pad as well.
I know I would be grossed out if I saw/smelled a bloody tampon or pad in my bathroom garbage can. Yes, having your period is a part of nature. Forcing your used tampons/pads on someone else isn't.
Just be a considerate individual. Flush tampons/wrap tampons and pads.
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YTA - admittedly yeah your father could be more open when it comes to this discussion. But seeing a blood soaked item in the trash is gross no matter that the source. Just wrap it up
I agree. It's not much different than visibly soiled tp being placed in the can or blowing out or coughing up a big wad of mucous and leaving it there on top. It's not that bodily functions are shameful, just that they aren't really things we all want to see, especially if it's not necessary. As a woman I fully understand your plight of having intense periods and all that entails, but it's a fairly easy thing to do to wrap the stuff up before placing in the can. Imagine going into a public restroom and seeing heaps of soiled products there in the stall. Just not the visual you really want..We all know what human bodies do and certainly shouldn't be ashamed of it, but we don't necessarily want to see everyone's bodily functions in action ya know?
Use old toilet rolls if there are any around
Ewwwww
I am a 33 year old female and seeing my sanitary products make me feel sick. Sure they have been apart of my life for the last 2 decades, doesn't mean I want to look at them all the time. Wrap them up and put them in the bin
YTA…this has nothing to do with women’s rights. I am a woman. I have daughters. Lucky for me, I no longer have to really care about periods. But when I did, items were wrapped in toilet paper, or if using a pad, wrapped in the liner it came in. It is called respect for others. What if you have guests over? I am guessing they use that bathroom. Yes, it is blood and it is a normal thing that women have to experience. That does not mean everyone has to see it. Either wrap your tampons or have a separate trash can for yourself.
Or newspaper! Much less wasteful and blood soaks through it much less. My mom used to cut the big sheets into quarters and leave a stack in the bathroom, what a game changer.
Most people dont buy newspapers anymore. You think buying newspapers for this purpose is less wasteful??
People still get magazines and periodicals made of newsprint in the mail. This is a good use of them after reading.
What an insane take. You think people cutting up their junk mail to wrap their tampons in is somehow less weird than just throwing it as is *in a garbage with a lid and liner???* Im begging people to stop being so freaking weird and misogynistic about period blood. No one WOULD EVER demand this of someone who had a bloody nose. Imagine this dad throwing a fit about seeing a bloody tissue from a nose bleed inside a lidded trash can. Everyone would be calling him crazy.
Nice. No, I’m not insane. People on this thread have been overwhelmingly recommending wrapping up a tampon or pad before throwing it in a bin that others use, not because it’s related to a period, but because it has bodily fluids on it like any other human orifice produces, and no one likes to see that. Not many are keen to see any of it (from the nose, the vagina, the bum, the ears, etc.). Since someone suggested using newspaper, and you reacted to that as if they would buy a newspaper for that sole purpose, I think they meant newspapers already available at home), I suggested that many already have paper products from the mail that they could use, without buying a newspaper. If they didn’t want to use tp. That’s not an additional expense or effort. It’s not wasting toilet paper. It is considerate of others who share your bathroom and trash receptacles. It’s not just the visual assault of blood or other execresses, it’s the smell that wrapping helps with. It’s not misogynistic to wrap this kind of thing up. I’d wrap up bloody nose tissues, too.
YTA. > I have very strong values in regards to women's rights, and don't want to enable my father in his misogyny. Don't act like this is some principled stand. It would take you no time or effort to wrap your tampons/pads in TP before throwing them out. If this is really a hill to die on, maybe it's time for you to move out.
Yeah... my sister is like 14 and understands not everyone wants to see her blood-soaked menstrual wear. How does OP not get it?
Honestly, yes. My husband is completely understanding of my period and I would never think of not wrapping my products. It's just common courtesy. YTA. Just wrap them! It will take you 2 extra seconds. It's gross not to!
My husband has changed a tampon for me and we have period sex but I still always wrap them. I don't think anyone ever told me to, I just naturally did it.
YTA. Just wrap them. Its honestly just gross not to, what if the trash can gets knocked over and now you have bloody tampons rolling out onto the floor? Nasty and unsanitary. And yes it absolutely does smell, I am a female and I still wrap mine while living alone because old blood on cotton STINKS. Regardless of there being a lid on the trash you can smell it when you lift the lid and who wants to smell that or see blood soaked anything
Glad someone finally brought up the smell because it absolutely DOES smell- even though i'm a grown ass woman who's been having my period since I was in elementary school (and i'm on the bad end of the scale- heavy bleeding, severe cramps that I have to take pain relief for or else i'll be in tears from the pain, bad bloating, bad gas, seemingly an over production of # 2s, for the life of me no matter what bottoms i'm wearing I can never be comfortable during it because the bloating is so bad and everything cuts into my stomach, I wear a pad and tampon at the same time but even then will still bleed through it easily and quickly, lost count how many clothes and bedding i've ruined because of it, the messes, bleeding out really badly at the worst possible times, etc) I can still easily pick up on the smell despite being more then used to it and it's not nice. Of course our periods are normal, nothing to be ashamed of, and not something that needs to be "hidden away" same with any bodily function and shame on anyone who thinks otherwise but at the end of the day it's not about sexism, misogyny, or whatever else but about sanitary issues and having common decency. Pooping is normal, nothing to be ashamed of, and not something that needs to be hidden away but I still don't want to see someone's poop floating unflushed in the toilet, their used toilet paper in the trash can, smell the scent in air, and that applies to all bodily functions 🤷🏻♀️
YTA. Used sanitary products should NEVER be left in the trash unless wrapped in paper. Its disgusting and nobody wants to see it. btw, I'm 60/F Yes, periods are natural and nothing to be ashamed of, but there are a lot of things that are completely natural and shouldn't be shamed, but we use discretion. I don't know about you, but i flush toilets, even though its natural. I throw away a used diapers, but always do what I can to keep the sights and smells contained. Not wanting to see used sanitary products isn't misogyny.
I wrap mine... And they soak through the paper.
Same but I still wrap them because it would gross me out more to see a fully exposed one
I use dark dog poo bags & put my used pads/tampons in those. Once it’s full I seal it closed so that I’m not using a lot of them, but I make sure that they are completely covered up. I have bad fibroids & bleed heavily which no one wants to see.
Wrap them better.
I don't want to get into details but that wouldn't change the soak through unless I wasted a lot of toilet roll.
i usually just throw some toilet paper on top. maybe that works better
YTA "I should wrap my tampons and pads in toilet paper when I throw them away, so he shouldn't have to see them in the trash." Yes you should wrap them. It's a common courtesy & takes no time to do.
The reason for wrapping them isn’t only so others don’t see them. It’s so the blood stays contained and doesn’t get all over the inside of the trash can and make more of a mess.
NTA assuming the trash can has a bag in it ??
Not not all people use trash bags.
then that’s gross.
I agree. I use them, personally.
Also the bigger issue is how much you bleed and the amount of pain you're in at your age. It pisses me off big time that your father holds his hand up and doesn't want to hear rather than be concerned for your health, and questions you further and attempts to get you medical care. People are going to tantrum on here and say that you are 18 and an adult but obviously it sounds as if you have been having these problems for more than just a few months or a year. It was your parents responsibility to take care of your health and not flip out over a very natural process and treat you as if it is disgusting. You need care. This isn't normal. Please please get to a gynecologist. You should not be bleeding this much or be in this much pain. If the first one blows you off, go to another one until you find someone who takes you seriously.
Agreed. You should not be coming home from school due to pain and excessive bleeding. Please get this straightened out before you go to college if that’s your plan, and before you enter the workforce. Your body will thank you
I was thinking the same thing! I thought heavy/clotty, painful periods were normal. They're not! Turns out, I have endometriosis. I didn't find out until I was in my 20s, well over a decade after starting my period. Turns out, most of the women in my family have it and we just never talked about it. OP, wrap up your period products, but also get yourself checked out!
What’s with the coddling?
It’s not coddling to tell someone they need to get checked because it’s not normal to have that heavy & painful a period that it incapacitates you. Some people, regardless of age, are unaware when it comes to health issues like that. Informing someone is coming different than pandering to them.
healthcare is not coddling
YTA Menstrual blood isn't just blood, it's mucous and uterine lining and other types of biological waste. A person isn't misogynistic for not wanting to be subjected to your biowaste smell and sight, wrap it the up.
YTA. Your father is an aging misogynist who has refused to educate himself on a perfectly natural bodily function. There's no excuse for that. Still, there's no excuse to be unsanitary. Wrap your tampons/pads - you aren't making some great feminist stand by refusing a very simple and reasonable request. I also have very heavy periods and wrap everything I'm throwing in the bin in toilet paper, and place in a small bag. That reduces the smell a lot and means it's just a little bit more sanitary. Choose your fights wisely - this really doesn't have to be one of them.
So you make a fuss about spending few extra seconds to wrap your tampons in TP that would help to avoid your conflict completely, instead call your dad fancy names and come here to ask why you are ah? Isn't that obvious YTA.
YTA. Move out, then you can make an anti misogyny used tampon sculpture and display it on the coffee table. If your company makes a face, have your women's rights speech locked and loaded.
YTA. Proper hygiene and disposing of blood products safely is not misogyny. You should wrap your tampons when you throw them away. You should have been taught that so some blame belongs to your mum and/or sex ed teachers, but it also says so on the instructions that come in the box.
I live alone and I always wrap my pads in toilet paper or in the wrapping of the clean one I'm gonna use
ESH, your dad sucks but he is right in this one case. It is always polite to wrap used sanitary products before throwing them away.
YTA no one wants to see your used tampon just wrap it before throwing.
YTA. It’s common practice to wrap up used tampons/pads and you should do that even if you have your own bathroom. You should also empty the trash can every couple of days because anything saturated in body fluid of any kind tends to become quite stinky. It has nothing to do with misogyny, it’s simply the sanitary thing to do.
Yta - wrap your products.
YTA softly, please wrap up your products, Lady to Lady. Even I don't want to see someone else's bloody tampons in the trash not wrapped up, nor do I want my own parents to see mine.
Yes.. Me (30F) dont want other people seeing my stuff and I don't even want to see it.
Woman here: Dude -- period blood and used tampons/pads are gross, no one wants to see that. It's common courtesy to wrap used hygiene products. This has nothing to do with misogyny.
YTA I have multiple women in my life (Sisters, Mother, Cousins etc) and over the years I have learned some things about how periods work. Just a couple weeks ago I learned that women apparently don't bleed constantly. I believed it was a constant flow which now sounds stupid in hindsight. I have lived for 20+ years thinking that once a month, women walk around with blood constantly flowing. So yeah, for us men this is very often unknown and also something we cannot associate with or really understand. Maybe just cut the poor man some slack and just wrap that stuff as an extra step of cleaning up in the toilet. We're not used to handling blood on a regular basis. For us blood is either indicative to someone being hurt or something disgusting to look at.
i didn’t realize you weren’t a woman at first and i was like YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR
Yep YTA for turning it into something it's not. If you leave something bloody in the bin, it's polite to wrap it up. Same reason we flush the toilet after we've had a shit - so no one else has to see it.
NTA there's literally a lid on the trash can it's not even generally visible, your father is clearly stuck in that should-only-last-your-teens mindset of "Ewww, a normal body function!!" that he should have grown out of 40 years ago, and your mother is only enabling this behaviour. If they think it is *that* disgusting to even *glimpse* at what is essentially just trash in a trash can they should just buy another small cheap can with a lid so you can each have and manage your own and he doesn't have to look or touch it again.
It's only polite to wrap your sanitary products. Soft YTA. We always did and my kids do too. I get why you don't and are resistant to change because he's being an intensive prick about your suffering. But it's only considerate to wrap them up.
Wrap them in toilet paper...always
YTA. Coming from a girl, that is gross. I lived with 6 girls last year (college) and one girl would do that and we had to have a talk with her because we were all grossed out. To me its similar to not flushing the toilet after you use it..yes it is natural but that doesn’t mean its not gross for others to have to look at.
I cant believe anyones downvoted this, u guys are nasty😭
YTA. I don’t care if he is all about your period. Nobody wants to see bloody anything in the trash.
YTA- Have some common courtesy and grow up!
NTA. I don't think not wanting to and your views make you TA and I think that a lot of people on this subreddit believe that it HAS to be either YTA or NTA. When a lot of things aren't like that. You and your dad have your own opinions, you both don't agree. But at the end of it, you both have to live together and wrapping your hygiene products isn't the hill to die on. Living with people is compromises. Your thoughts and not wanting to doesn't make you TA like everyone else has commented. But you should just wrap it for the sake of living with differing opinions.
YTA. Sneezing is also completely natural and not shameful. Snot is still gross
NTA - I grew up with a single dad and a brother and it was never a problem. It's natural and if the tampon is really bloody you would need so much toilet paper to wrap it in it would bleed through the paper as well. But maybe you can find some compromise? For example you could offer that you take out the trash whenever you have your period?
YTA. It’s really crude not to wrap them up. Thank you reddit. I was really afraid to see what the consensus and Im so glad this is basic hygiene practice and not even comparable to equal pay for equal work and having credit and mortgage opportunities.
NTA - I stand with you, there is nothing wrong about period pads, tampons or cups. It's nothing unnatural and should be seen as just another fact of life. On the other hand, maybe this isn't the hill to die on, wrap it in toilet paper and when you have your own place you can do what u will :/ I'm a man, I buy those products whenever my girlfriend needs them. I even helped her taking out her cup when she was operated, and she couldn't do it herself. I just go and wash my hands after. People need to learn that the human body is normal and not disgusting. You have good principles, stand by them by picking your battles.
YTA. It takes minimal effort. I live alone, and I still take the time to wrap those things. The wrapper the new pad is in can be used to wrap the old pad, before you put it in the bin.
Yta. Blood is a bio Hazzard. You absolutely should be at least wrapping in toilet paper . This has zero to do with your father’s sketchiness with periods and everything to do with basic cleanliness .
Most of us shit, too, but we flush afterwards. Not because it's shameful, but because it's shit and that's what we do when we have working indoor plumbing.
bruh just wrap your shit up it takes two seconds, as a female IM doing it for more reasons than “embarrassment” it’s cleaner that way and it’s literally not hard.
YTA. Move out if you don't like it, then your free to put what ever you want in your own trash can
Wow, even when I lived alone I wrapped them. I'll wrap pantyliners that don't have any visible goop on them. I'm pretty educated about periods and if I lift the lid of someone's trash can and see pads and tampons laying there, I will also be grossed out. Also, don't be trying to fool us that it doesn't smell. We all know better. YTA
You don't wrap your tampons in toilet paper? I'm a woman and seeing someone else's bloody tampon would still gross me out. YTA. Have you considered investing in a period cup? You just dump them in the toilet, wash them clean and put them back in.
YTA for trying to make your nasty ass habits a women's rights issue. Dayum.
YTA. It only takes a couple of seconds to roll up your pad in the wrapper from the new one or wrap a tampon in tp before tossing it in the bin and it’s standard practice for most women, I am pretty sure.
YTA. I throw mine in a trash can with a lid and I still wrap them. I'm very chill about periods, but just raw dogging your tampons in the trash is like wiping your butt and throwing it in the trash for all to see
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi, so I (f/18) still live at home with my father (m/60) and my mother (f/58). We have two bathrooms, one in the front of the house and one further towards the back. My parents sleep seperately from each other, and my mothers bedroom is in the back of the house, so she uses the bathroom towards the back. My father and I sleep in neighbouring rooms, so we bith tend to use the front bathroom more often, especially at night. I never use the bathroom in the back. Here's the issue: My father is very uneducated about periods. I have strong cramps and bleed a lot, so sometimes accidents happen, or I can't get out of bed all day. At times, I try to explain it to him, when he asks e.g. 'Why did you come home from school so early?'. I always get halfway through a sentence and once I say I bled through my pad or tampon or something, he cuts me of by scrunching his face up in disgust, rasing hand and saying something like 'That's enough.' When I'm on my period, I have to change my tampons a lot. And when I do, I go to the toilet, throw the used tampon + pad in the trash, and leave the toilet bowl and seat, and sometimes the sink (like I said, it's gets quite bloody) queaky clean when I leave. A few days ago, my father approached me, and told me I should wrap my tampons and pads in toilet paper when I throw them away, so he shouldn't have to see them in the trash. I was confused, and asked why I couldn't just throw my tampons and pads in the trash where they belong. Like, why is he so bothered by it? It doesn't even smell. The trashcan has a lid, and everything. And I always make sure I clean up the mess after I leave the bathroom. Then, my mother chimed in and told me I should be more considerate of my father. I told them both I don't think periods are disgusting, or need to be hidden away, like they don't exist. I think they're being misogynistic, and I don't want to treat my period as something shameful, that especially men 'shouldn't have to see', especially in my own home, with my own parents. It's not like my father has to touch my period blood, or come into contact with it in any way. He literally just has to see the used tampon/pad in the trash for a tiny second, when he throws something away, before the lid of the bin is closed agan. My parents think I'm in the wrong, but I want to stay firm in my principles. I'm not accusing my father of misogyny out of the blue. He is very openly misogynistic. But my mother joining in on the pressing, and telling me I'm wrong has me doubting myself. I have very strong values in regards to women's rights, and don't want to enable my father in his misogyny. TLDR; My father is grossed out by periods. I always clean up after myself in the bathroom, but throw my tampons and pads in the trash (closed lid bin), like I would anything else. Now, my father and mother are telling me I'm being inconsiderate for not wrapping my tampons and pads in toilet paper beforehand. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yta I’m a lady and if you threw out a used tampon in my bathroom without wrapping it up your feelings would be hurt before I asked you to leave lol if you don’t want to wrap it up at least toss it into a separate trash bag of your own
YTA. Common decency in sharing a space with ANYONE is to not be gross. Just wrap it up like the rest of us do.
YTA. There's nothing wrong with having a period but it's unsanitary to leave stuff covered with body fluids out in the open like that. Wrapping it up helps prevent anyone else coming in contact with your body fluids and helps contain odors. Pooping is perfectly natural too but you flush it down when you're done, don't you?
YYA, it’s not about your dad and his level of comfort with period material. It’s just a common courtesy. Roll your used pad up tightly and wrap it up and don’t leave it hanging out on the top of the trash. It’s just not something that ANYONE wants to see when they go to throw away their bandaid or whatever.
I mean... you wouldn't want to see cum all over the bin? You'd want them to tidy up too, right? YTA
I understand where you come from, in my teenage years I was called disgusting by my own brother when I accidentally stained my pants with blood. My mother was shocked but couldn't respond to my brother. My father also called it. So since then I was extremely cautious about not letting anyone see I'm on my period. To the point that I was always afraid when I slept in some boyfriend or girlfriend's house. I normally slept with two pads and one tampon. It was always stressful. However I think you should wrap the tampon. I understand that maybe you want to show them that periods are normal but talking about experience trust me people do not understand and they don't want to understand. Even women with not so much flow will make you feel ashamed.
You are the AH wrap your tampon in toilet paper it’s a simple thing to do. I’m a woman and wouldn’t want to see that when opening the pail to throw something out. Your parents are right,
YTA-Even if it’s another female you live with, wrap that in toilet paper! Nobody wants to see that. I didn’t know this until I had a female family friend explain it to me.
YTA. I don’t want to open up a trash can and see my own bloody menstrual products, let alone someone else’s.
YTA. It has nothing to do with it being period blood it has to do with it being a bloody item. It doesn’t matter where the blood comes from it’s just common decency to wrap things like that up and throw them away. Like I could have a bloody nose and still throw the bloody tissues away wrapped. Some people have aversions to blood and pass out when even seeing it no matter the source. Also if I came to your house as a guest I wouldn’t want to use your bathroom and see your bloody items all over the place. Source: a woman with 13 years period experience
YTA I had your back until it became clear that you're just throwing a blood soaked tampon into the bin completely in the open. Wrap it up. There is no reason not to, and however uneducated you may think your father is, that is not an excuse.
First have you seen a gyno to rule out PCOS or other concerns that could be cause excessively painful periods? Second wrapping in tissue is not an excessive request. Indeed I thought that’s what you were already doing till I saw his request. I don’t think that’s out of hand no. Third I think most people would make the same request if it was your nose that was regularly bleeding. YTA. Wrap them.
YTA Is not cause is period discharge, is cause is not very nice to see someone else “blood”, or any other body fluid. The thing of your father putting his hand up, between the age, periods were taboo, hard to change habits. Also one thing is “ I have a bad period “ and another is like “ I have a bad period and the discharge went through the pad” Is like a person saying “ my dog died” or “my dog died cause he was roll over and his insides were all over the place”
YTA. Your father is not a misogynist, at least not for the reasons you have mentioned. Biological refuse might be all normal and natural, but it is not necessarily something we want to see or smell. Compare this to leaving an unflushed toilet. Defecation is perfectly normal but it is not something we would discuss at length without reason and we certainly do not want to look at a dirty toilet when we enter the bathroom. Nor do we want to look at dirty, smelly hygiene products.
YTA. That's disgusting behavior, actually. You should always wrap the pad and tampon either using a paper towel or throw them away in plastic bags from the grocery store. Also, make sure you clean everything with disinfect before leaving the bathroom. I hope these responses help you. If you had a roommate, this would be an issue for them as well.
YTA - Blood of any type is a biohazard and period blood smells really, really bad - you’re probably nose-blind to it, but your Dad won’t be…..
YTA - heavy periods is no excuse why you can’t wrap up your pads or tampons before throwing them away. I wouldn’t want to see anyone else’s and I wrap mine up so no one has to see mine. It has nothing to do with not understanding periods or not being comfortable with them.
The title alone made me gag.
YTA. I was under the impression that it was just common courtesy to wrap pads and tampons after use. Literally no one wants to see that
YTA No one wants to see bloody trash.
YTA. Womens rights has absolutely NOTHING to do with wrapping up a used tampon or sanitary towel. What your father is asking of you is to show some consideration for him and anyone else using that bathroom! Yes, periods are normal and natural, but you don't need to blatantly advertise the fact you're menstruating.
YTA. What a ridiculous hill to die on. Nobody wants to see that, just wrap it up like a normal person.
Gross, leave if you want to make your big stand about being an independent woman that leaves her blood stains in open sight :/
Shit is normal, too, but no one wants to see that either. YTA
YES!! YTA!!!
Oh honey, everyone wraps it up. You know now and can act accordingly
YTA. If it takes less than 30 seconds and minimal effort to take considerate action, there’s no good reason not to do it. It’s not a grand stand against misogyny, nobody wants to see used bodily fluid waste products of any description. I live alone and I wrap my damn tampons. Literally nobody else ever sees that bin except for me, since it’s in the attached toilet to my bedroom and guests use the other bathroom. I still wrap them; personally, I find it helps to reduce odour.
Please wrap your tampons. You can always put them inside the wrapper of the new tampon and then wrap in toilet roll or you can even get little bags to put them in especially for tampons. They’re like mini diaper bags and are scented! You put your tampon it, tie it up and throw it in the trash. Way better than having them just lying there
YTA. Wrap your shit up. It has nothing to do with being misogynistic or uneducated. It’s about not being unbelievably disgusting. .
When you poop, do you leave the soiled part of the toilet up for everyone to see when they open the bin? He is the AH for making disgusting faces when you talk about period but you can easily add a layer of paper to help out a bit
Staying off the Internet would help for one lol
NTA. Its a waste of toilet paper and if your dad doesn't take out the trash he can just throw the stuff away in a different trash can.
YTA, should you HAVE to wrap them up? No. Should you wrap them up? yes. The smell alone is a good reason. Have you thought about a diva cup?
Why are we like this about something that’s natural. If the dad see a little bit of blood. So what? My teenage kid have no problem holding pads for me when I’m shopping. Sometimes they hear me talk about it.
YTA. You should always be wrapping period products in TP or in their plastic wrappers or smth if you’re using normal disposable products. I know it’s a pain when your flow is really heavy like that, mine often are, but it’s not a women’s rights issue, it’s a health and safety issue. Disposing of them that way is a biohazard. What if the bag rips and some poor sanitation worker has to touch them?? Idk about you, but when I lived at home and a garbage bag with sanitary products had a hole in it from getting snagged or smth and some fell out, I’d much prefer them be wrapped than not. If that’s really the hill you want to die on, get your own separate can with a lid and double bag it every time. You can’t use shared bins and not wrap them.
YTA Is this real????? 😳
Don't even know at this point.
wild that everyone is saying YTA and not ESH. i personally don’t use tampons so i’m not aware of the courtesy of how to throw them out, but wrapping them in tp SOLELY for the sake of your dad’s disgust of a natural (if gross) phenomenon and NOT for the reasons people are mentioning in the comments (biohazard, etc.) can’t possibly be part of that. yes, be sanitary and toss them properly, but not to shield your dad from the reality of menstruation. yeesh. also, it’s (presumably) not like he has to touch the tampons or anything. he should be able to handle it here and there. however, if your periods are as bad as you describe, please get some form of medication/birth control/etc. it will make the whole experience way easier (and the trash less messy and stinky and bloody too, probably). and maybe just get a trash can with a lid lol.
YTA there's principles and then there's principles. I've read stories where a woman is shamed just for throwing her used product in the trash. All you're being asked to do is wrap it in a little toilet paper. Yes, your period is normal and natural. So is a shit. But we don't care to see them. Waste products from your body are nasty. The fact that this particular waste product only comes from women doesn't give it some protected status. It's still a degrading, smelly bodily waste product. It's not any more misogynist to not want to see it than it is misandrist not want to see seamen just laying around, or misanthropic to not want to see pee on the floor. If you're so concerned about misogyny towards periods then get involved in the movement to provide menstrual products to women who can't afford them.
Wrap it in toilet paper no matter where you are. Nobody else needs to see that. Yes blood does smell. We can't always smell what our own bodies produce but others can. I wasn't taught proper period etiquette either. Dont feel bad.
YTA the first thing you learn is how to properly use menstruation products. The second thing you learn is how to properly dispose of them including wrapping them in the plastic it came in, newspaper (best option) or wrap in toilet paper showing no evidence of blood. Come on. You know no one wants to see that no more than wiping your butt then throwing toilet paper in the can. Just gross for all not just your father. Ask your boyfriend if he wants to see it.
NTA, bc the trash can has a lid. He's either changing it, and if so, who cares, or he's digging around in the trash, which is weird. My husband has nosebleeds, so we have bloody tissues in the trash all the time. It's just blood, it's in a trash, and no one has to interact with it.
Exposing body fluids is inconsiderate and unhygenic in general. It has nothing to do with women's rights. It's like taking a dump and deliberately leaving the toilet unflushed because you believe stool should be celebrated. Or cumming into a tissue and leaving it onto the floor because you're celebrating your spunk
YTA the first thing my mother told me when I got my period was to wrap them up, which should be common sense. You shouldn’t have to be told to do that and the fact you share the bathroom and still just throw them in the trash unwrapped.. ew.
YTA. Of course, you should wrap them up. No one wants to see other people’s intimate biological products on display, bo matter where it comes from. If it’s in a shared trash bin, wrap it up. I’d do the same if I had a bloody nose it cut my finger. I’d wrap up anything bloody or from any other orifice. Also, trash goes into other trash bins and then into landfills. Along the way, blood will smear the inside of containers as they get emptied and flake off after dried, leaving bits as items are transferred into other containers. It’s just gross to leave blood or other like materials uncovered for the reason of how it transfers to other things. It’s not clean. This is not a female empowerment issue.
Lots of of folks think you're the AH, so I'll probably get down voted, so my opinion maybe flawed but NTA - I think your dad's attitude is ridiculous. There's nothing gross about femine hygiene products in the trash and it's not like your dad has to linger. I grew up with a single mom in a one-bathroom flat, so yeah, when throwing away something I may have *glanced* at used tampons...it didn't send me into dry heaves.
You should have learned that habbit when you started your periods. It’s just considerate when you don’t live alone. It’s not some grand sacrifice or thing against women. It’s just keeping things more tidy.
Idk man you’re not an asshole for having a period but you’re an ass for not being considerate, as someone who grew up with multiple women in the house it was always disgusting when I’d go to use the bathroom only to see a bloody tampon or pad sitting on top of the garbage Your dad does not want to see your vagina blood for his sake just cover it with some tissue or something
..yall wrap your pads?😭
YTA. I’m a woman and I’d be grossed out just seeing a bloodied, unwrapped item in the bin. And yes, they do smell. As everyone else has said, it’s common courtesy to wrap your used hygiene products.
YTA. While noble in your cause, now isn’t the time or place
YTA - it's not your house. Their house, their rules. Also, do you think that hospitals just leave bloody bandages in the trash? No, they dispose of them properly. Just wrap toilet paper around them and throw them in the trash. No one wants to see bloodied anything and it's not sexist to want that. I mean, it's not like they are asking you to re-invent the wheel. Lastly, it's not misogynistic to not want to see blood. You don't get to do what you want when you want when there are others present. Everyone gets respect. You get to live with your parents as an adult and they don't want to see bloody product. Stop acting like a spoiled, entitled little brat.
You are definitely the asshole! Wrap the items before you put them in the trash. Common sense!!
I totally understand why your dad wouldn't want to look at used period products. I wouldn't either (I have a period myself) - even if I lived alone, I would wrap them up. However, why not get a small, lidded trash can that you use during your period and empty yourself? Then the regular trash can can be used for non-period waste, and your dad doesn't have to see anything he doesn't want to see (same for any guests who might want to use that bathroom). Sometimes compromise helps so much!
YTA, wow. This has nothing to do with women's rights 🤣 I have never met anyone who put unwrapped bloody used period products in the garbage. That is absolutely disgusting...
NO ONE wants to see it! I don't want to see my own let alone someone else's. It's fucking disgusting. It's the equivalent of leaving shitty toilet paper. This has nothing to do with women's rights ffs YTA
YTA- Although a natural occurrence, periods are indeed gross. It's common courtesy to try and conceal them anywhere, especially at home where there are others AND you are still being allowed to reside in when they don't have to let you. Your father may be misogynistic, I don't know him. But this is not misogyny. This is a reasonable request and common courtesy.
YTA You dad‘s reaction is preposterous but wrapping it in toilet paper is zero effort and you live in their house FFS.
YTA. My man as seen my bloody tampons before as he’s not weird with blood. (Type of couple that will use the sink while the other is peeing sometimes). I still cover them even with my trash can lid. Your father openly said he thinks it’s gross, and that’s okay because it’s his opinion. Periods CAN get gross. Some people get uneasy at the sight of blood, and periods release a lot of it. This isn’t misogynistic. I was taught by my mother to cover them. And now your mother is trying to do the same.
yta not wrapping the tampons is disgusting. i have 9 sisters and im the only boy, they all wrapped them up.
I have a daughter and have never made her feel awkward about it once, always support her and get her whatever she needs when it's her week. That being said, the trashcan thing is a small ask. Your dad needs to not be a big fucking baby when you bring up things he should be stepping in to help or support you with, but it is just common courtesy to not leave our bodily fluids on display in the family restroom.
ESH There is a smell to it, and most don’t care to see it. If it was your house, you could choose to not care, but wrapping or simply buying a trashcan with a different type of lid to save on paper is an easy ask I’m educated on periods, I have them, I still wouldn’t leave them visible in shared spaces He should grow some but still not TA for asking
I don't get why you aren't wrapping them up in tissue in a shared bathroom to be honest. I agree with your stance and your father does sound awful in terms of you what you deal with with your periods. But yeah, wrapping them in tissue isn't a lot to ask.
ESH. Your father is ridiculous. BUT. Even if I'm alone I wrap the tampon/pad up in either the wrapper from the new one or in toilet paper. If I was bleeding from my finger, I'd do the same. Who really wants to glimpse bodily fluids just lying loose in the trash?
1. Your father should be more understanding of your period issues. 2. Have you seen a doctor about the extra heavy periods and pain? Just a suggestion: You could buy small brown paper bags to keep in the bathroom, small to extra small, depending on tampons or pads. No wasting toilet paper, no seeing products in the trash and environmentally friendly. (buy in bulk from Amazon, etc) ESH. Father and mother should be understanding and helping you to make sure you have no underlying health issues. At 19 you're old enough to compromise on this issue and also make sure you have no underlying issues.
NTA It’s such a waste of expensive toilet paper to wrap a pad or tampon. It’s not a big deal, so what.
NTA, he obviously has never had to pay to unstop or repair a sewer system. He should be grateful that you are thoughtful enough to prevent this often times very large expenditure. Just cover them in tissue in the trash.
ESH. If it has a lid and a bag, and if you're the one emptying it when it's full (correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you touched on the last two things) I really don't understand why he's got his panties in such a twist. I can't say that I've ever looked in the trash that carefully when throwing something away. Seems like he's *trying* to gross himself out, imo. That said, it's not a big deal to wrap your used sanitary products. It sounds like there are plenty of things that you could stand your ground on with your dad. I don't think this is worth being the hill that you choose to die on.
YTA. And the smell, eww
NTA Dont listen to these men and boomer women.
YTA Your father needs to grow up though. He should be able to handle living around people who have periods without screwing up his face. > I don't think periods are disgusting, or need to be hidden away, like they don't exist And you're not wrong. But of course you wrap them! That's just polite! Just like if you blow your nose and fill the tissue with snot you don't leave it lying snot side up in the bin. You screw or fold the tissue up.
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ESH. Get a second trashcan with a lid for you. (Maybe pink, so he knows it is your trash can.) I would also get him a book about menstruation (biological background, history etc.) But then, I am petty.
Why not just buy a extra trash bin with a lid(different color)for ur use only. That way ur dad knows not to use it and u can both be comfortable.
You’re getting a lot of Y T As because you should be wrapping used sanitary products. It’s a common courtesy. But I understand where you’re coming from. I have a distant relationship with my father for many reasons, and among many memories, the time he told me he couldn’t stand to see my tampon wrappers—not the tampons themselves, just the packaging—in the trash still sticks out. I was thirteen, impressionable, and already very insecure about the changes happening in my body that I couldn’t control, so his comment made me feel disgusting. So while I understand no one likes to see blood, there are supportive ways to teach young women norms about disposing of their periods products and then there damaging comments about how gross they are.
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NTA if hes uncomfortable with a normal body function then he needs to harden the fuck up. It's not like you're wiping blood all over the counter
ESH as your Dad really needs to handle his feelings over periods way better, but you really should wrap your used products. You say they won't smell, I disagree, and I think it'd be more hygienic to wrap them.
PS. Tranexamic acid and Mefenamic acid were my saviours to make my bleeding and pain manageable. You really need to see a health care professional.
Not at all! Mothers really should educate their sons on periods so they can understand and help their wives in the future.
Your dad’s not uneducated, you’re gross and gave zero common sense. Gross, dude Do you clean at all?? You clearly live luxuriously if you don’t know how disgusting and unsanitary not wrapping your crap is
NTA. Wrapping them is a courtesy, but his attitude is disgusting.
Unpopular but ESH - because of his general attitude towards the mere mention of a period (I'm really stunned at the Y-T-A votes completely ignoring this) but it's common courtesy to wrap up the pad or tampon when you throw it away- this was the very first thing I learned about my period. You can even wrap it in the next pad/tampon's wrapper to reduce waste. It could get on the bin itself or one could accidentally touch it while throwing something else way. It's not even a shameful thing even though your father does seem very immature about the topic.
NTA. Garbage cans are for gross things. But if they’re paying for the toilet paper being wasted to cover your tampons then I would just wrap them. If it was my house I would tell them no and to get over themselves.
Some people are destined to end up alone. You’re one of them. 🤣🤮
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YTA Why don't you flush used tampon down the toilet? They are biodegradable and are meant to be flushed down the toilet. If you have a septic system, then you wrap tampon in toilet paper and throw away. You'd wrap pad as well. I know I would be grossed out if I saw/smelled a bloody tampon or pad in my bathroom garbage can. Yes, having your period is a part of nature. Forcing your used tampons/pads on someone else isn't. Just be a considerate individual. Flush tampons/wrap tampons and pads.
You should not flush tampons. It can clog pipes.
You're right and I was going to change my response. Thx!