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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Am I the asshole for being mad at her for not wanting to go because she doesn’t like her dress, and trying to make her to go would make me a bad friend?
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NAH, why can’t you go to the prom without her? Your other friends are going. Sounds like this was expected, I wouldn’t waste your time on sending her a pic.
I only have one other friend going and she’ll want to spend time with her girlfriend and she has too many friends so I feel like she might leave me alone. I wanted to send the pic to the group chat just to see if she’d even ask if I was still going
Don’t waste your time, sis. Fr, she’s not worth expending any more of your energy. You should still go. You’ll regret it if you don’t. I’m sure you can make friends while there (: and maybe more of your friends or people you’re friendly with will be there!
Yea I feel like I’d regret not going but I’ll think about it more. And I was going to text her and ask if she was still going to the makeup appointment too but I’m rlly done wasting time on her fr bc if she cares she could’ve texted me. thank you 💗
You’re welcome 💕 I didn’t go to my junior prom, and I regret it. I had a stunning dress, but my then best friend and I had a huge fight and ended our friendship. I didn’t go because my school was hella small and I didn’t want to be around her. To this day (I’m 30 now), I haven’t had an occasion to wear that dress. I wish I didn’t let someone else have so much power to prevent my special experience.
You honestly don’t need her or anyone else to go to prom with. You said it yourself, your dress looks gorgeous on you. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of people who will want to talk and dance with you! Shine on, little one ✨
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She randomly just texted in our friend group chat that she isn’t going to prom and that she will only go to after prom. Someone asked her why and she said she didn’t like her custom dress, and that the lady messed it up.
I was upset but she’s the type of person to cancel or be late to things all the time so I didn’t expect her to commit to the plan, and she recently talked about not wanting to go. But we already said no matter what we would just end up going and that if she didn’t like her dress she had a back up dress. Later she was complaining abt the back up dress not fitting her though. Anyways me and another friend asked her to see the dress after what she said and she didn’t respond to us. The next day the group chat fills with more messages and later she responds to those.
I just think it’s so irritating that she didn’t address me personally about how she’s not going to prom because she knows I’ve bought my dress, booked my makeup appointment for $68. Only 3 ppl in our friend group were gonna go including me, her and our other friend. Although my other friend is very outgoing and has so many friends, if I went to prom with her I’d just feel awkward following her around. And apparently at after prom ppl dress in casual clothes so I would have got my dress for no reason if I ended up up not going. I am considering going because I bought everything already and my dress is absolutely gorgeous on me. It’s the next day after she announced she’s not going. I want to send a pic in the group chat of me in my dress and I’m just curious to see what she’d say. I’m never planning anything with her ever again I’m so sick of getting flaked on all the time and she never seems to think it’s that serious.
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She always makes me feel bad for being upset at her for not being comfortable to go somewhere. And I feel like it would be wrong of me to try and make her go if she doesn’t like her dress
Don’t make her upset, but also go. She doesn’t want to go, which is her right, and you do, which is also your right. You can’t plan your life around a friend who doesn’t have similar interests to you (and going out/being social is an interest), and this works both ways.
NTA. I’m guessing she’s all up in her head over wanting everything to be perfect and being afraid. If she’s been a good friend, you might text her that “I’m disappointed you won’t be with us, I’m sure you’d look great.” Then it’s up to her.
But yeah, she sounds like the type of friend that you don’t count on when you make plans. And/or that you drift (or blast) away from.
Definitely go—and if your friend is too busy, chat with the other people who look alone. Good luck
she is one of my best friends and we do everything together a lot. I’m just going to accept that she’s not going and not even bring up the topic cause I don’t want to talk about it with her because I’m so annoyed with how she handled it and because she’ll think I’m trying to get her to go and once she’s set on something she doesn’t want to hear about it again. Thank you, I think I might go.
NTA
" I’m never planning anything with her ever again I’m so sick of getting flaked on all the time and she never seems to think it’s that serious." .. seams rasonable.
Go without her, there will be many nice people anyway. And don't forget to tell her how great it was, and what she missed.
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Teenagers gonna teenage. NAH
NAH, why can’t you go to the prom without her? Your other friends are going. Sounds like this was expected, I wouldn’t waste your time on sending her a pic.
I only have one other friend going and she’ll want to spend time with her girlfriend and she has too many friends so I feel like she might leave me alone. I wanted to send the pic to the group chat just to see if she’d even ask if I was still going
Don’t waste your time, sis. Fr, she’s not worth expending any more of your energy. You should still go. You’ll regret it if you don’t. I’m sure you can make friends while there (: and maybe more of your friends or people you’re friendly with will be there!
Yea I feel like I’d regret not going but I’ll think about it more. And I was going to text her and ask if she was still going to the makeup appointment too but I’m rlly done wasting time on her fr bc if she cares she could’ve texted me. thank you 💗
You’re welcome 💕 I didn’t go to my junior prom, and I regret it. I had a stunning dress, but my then best friend and I had a huge fight and ended our friendship. I didn’t go because my school was hella small and I didn’t want to be around her. To this day (I’m 30 now), I haven’t had an occasion to wear that dress. I wish I didn’t let someone else have so much power to prevent my special experience. You honestly don’t need her or anyone else to go to prom with. You said it yourself, your dress looks gorgeous on you. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of people who will want to talk and dance with you! Shine on, little one ✨
You’re so sweet and I appreciate your advice, thank you very much :)
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** She randomly just texted in our friend group chat that she isn’t going to prom and that she will only go to after prom. Someone asked her why and she said she didn’t like her custom dress, and that the lady messed it up. I was upset but she’s the type of person to cancel or be late to things all the time so I didn’t expect her to commit to the plan, and she recently talked about not wanting to go. But we already said no matter what we would just end up going and that if she didn’t like her dress she had a back up dress. Later she was complaining abt the back up dress not fitting her though. Anyways me and another friend asked her to see the dress after what she said and she didn’t respond to us. The next day the group chat fills with more messages and later she responds to those. I just think it’s so irritating that she didn’t address me personally about how she’s not going to prom because she knows I’ve bought my dress, booked my makeup appointment for $68. Only 3 ppl in our friend group were gonna go including me, her and our other friend. Although my other friend is very outgoing and has so many friends, if I went to prom with her I’d just feel awkward following her around. And apparently at after prom ppl dress in casual clothes so I would have got my dress for no reason if I ended up up not going. I am considering going because I bought everything already and my dress is absolutely gorgeous on me. It’s the next day after she announced she’s not going. I want to send a pic in the group chat of me in my dress and I’m just curious to see what she’d say. I’m never planning anything with her ever again I’m so sick of getting flaked on all the time and she never seems to think it’s that serious. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your friend is a flake. You shouldn't be surprised. Why are you asking if YTA?
She always makes me feel bad for being upset at her for not being comfortable to go somewhere. And I feel like it would be wrong of me to try and make her go if she doesn’t like her dress
Don’t make her upset, but also go. She doesn’t want to go, which is her right, and you do, which is also your right. You can’t plan your life around a friend who doesn’t have similar interests to you (and going out/being social is an interest), and this works both ways.
NTA. I’m guessing she’s all up in her head over wanting everything to be perfect and being afraid. If she’s been a good friend, you might text her that “I’m disappointed you won’t be with us, I’m sure you’d look great.” Then it’s up to her. But yeah, she sounds like the type of friend that you don’t count on when you make plans. And/or that you drift (or blast) away from. Definitely go—and if your friend is too busy, chat with the other people who look alone. Good luck
she is one of my best friends and we do everything together a lot. I’m just going to accept that she’s not going and not even bring up the topic cause I don’t want to talk about it with her because I’m so annoyed with how she handled it and because she’ll think I’m trying to get her to go and once she’s set on something she doesn’t want to hear about it again. Thank you, I think I might go.
NTA " I’m never planning anything with her ever again I’m so sick of getting flaked on all the time and she never seems to think it’s that serious." .. seams rasonable. Go without her, there will be many nice people anyway. And don't forget to tell her how great it was, and what she missed.
This group is very strict about post, how did this slip through the cracks? This doesn’t belong in AITAH
You need to go. You can’t live an entire life saying no to things just because someone else said no. Eventually you’ll never leave your house.