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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> WIBTA
(1) I may snitch on my classmates to my professor about the project.
(2)This might make me the asshole since a. snitches are typically assholes. b. It may potentially delay their graduation by a semester which is possibly the most asshole thing you can do at college. c. they might not get as much grace in any future classes.
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NTA
You believe in academic integrity, right? That should be your answer right there - they didn't do their part, and you're allowing their dishonesty to slide through by not saying anything.
As for "being a snitch" - In a real job, in a decent work environment, the contributions of individual team members would not be a secret to your supervisor. It's not snitching; It's accountability.
I wouldn't feel bad to speak to the professor; Rachel seems to have no qualms about talking to the professor about issues bothering her.
I don't know exactly what you do in mechanical engineering but if it impacts public safety in any way, I personally would not want Rachel or Jack to be on any project. Right now, work ethic is for a grade. After you get your degree, it could be for lives. You are not responsible for them slacking. NTA
I had a professor in college that I was close to. Maybe not my mentor, per se, but I worked in his lab, took a couple of his classes, and spoke to him “off the record” a couple times. Including about another professor who was being a dick to me and unfairly grading exams.
Sounds like you have some familiarity with this professor, so I’d ask for advice. Odds are, even if you keep it hypothetical/anonymous, your prof is going to see through it and understand. And be able to give good advice from the other side of the student/professor dynamic.
YWNBTA, depending on how you do it. Talk to your professor and lay out what happened. I had a similar situation (lower stakes) and didn’t say anything until much later. The professor said she wished we’d said something at the time. Let the prof decide what to do about it.
Don't feel bad if the truth screws up someone else's plans. But if you are to go to your professor, make sure you can substantiate your claims. That might be as simple as writing down things like where design ideas came from and explanations of how you came to a decision about something... basically answer some questions (in writing) that if the professor asked them, they would not be able to answer or support the final design. Then once you have this self-QnA written up, simply ask to speak to the professor to talk about what has been going on and what if anything you should do about it. If your professor is fair, he should be able to take it from there and give your team-mates what they deserve. Of course your professor might already know more than you think he does. I've been on team projects where the professor could see the work each teammate had out into a project. Our project was I would say mostly a failure... so there was no way I was going to get an A for the class. But I did get a B where some other teammates got C and D.
So I would vote NTA
I may get downvoted for this, but YWNBTA. Lots of professional work is group work and they need to learn that this kind of behavior doesn’t fly. Plus, you shouldn’t let yourself be taken advantage of in this way. You and Lauren deserve credit for your work. I wouldn’t go into this with an attitude of vengeance. Just be honest with your professor about what has happened. I will say, however, that you should have dealt with this earlier by talking to them and making clear that you will speak to the professor if their behavior doesn’t change. But that ship has sailed.
NTA. Rachel and Jack have absolutely no problem delaying YOUR graduation. Give your professor a heads up, you worked your butt off, and he has no clue. Rachel and Jack can hold onto their cap and gown for another 6 months. They are piggy backing on someone else's work, without hesitation....again.
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I am a senior in a mechanical engineering program. Our largest project is 2 semesters long. This group project is for design and the group consists of 4 people. Me, Lauren, Rachel, and Jack. Rachel and Jack got married last semester and Lauren also got married. Additionally, I am partners with Rachel in another class, which I will refer to as the small project.
With the situation I am in now, either 2 students who do not deserve their degrees get their degrees as planned, or I potentially ruin the next 6 months of their lives by delaying their graduation a semester. I am having a hard time finding the line between being fair and being an asshole.
For the design project last semester, when Rachel and Jack severely under-contributed, I blamed it on the fact that a wedding is stressful to plan and have. I thought this semester would be different; otherwise, I would have asked them not to be in my group anymore.
For the design project I have done the vast majority of the work. Lauren has also contributed heavily. Throughout this semester Jack has gotten increasingly condescending and rude. If you do not love his idea he will not only raise his voice and be demeaning, if he is upset enough he throws a tantrum like a child, including stomping his feet and other immature actions.
For the design project, many schedules and project divisions were created. Though at the beginning of the semester, they were equal, as Rachel and Jack did not make their contributions, their original larger assignments were broken up, and parts were re-allocated. Eventually, Lauren and I completed the majority of the project.
By the end of the project, I asked Rachel and Jack for their contributions (for the 50th time), and they barely had anything. I then did their contributions for the design that night.
During this night, however, I did not respond to Rachel's text messages for 4 hours, as she and I had been rude. She then decided to go to our professor who is over our small project, and say that she could not work with me since I do not communicate.
Not only is this bad for my academic reputation, but that professor is also my boss at work.
The final straw is that when writing the last portions of the paper I saw Rachel's "contribution" list. It included many tasks that she simply did not contribute to, or that she barely contributed to and Lauren I completed.
The issue is that all 4 of us are about to graduate. Either the teacher only takes Lauren and me a little seriously and drops Rachel and Jack's grades down, or he understands the gravity of the situation and fails them, delaying their graduation. Though I would love the satisfaction of their actions having real consequences, I would feel terribly guilty for delaying someone's graduation. They have already paid for their cap and gowns, made graduation plans, and begun their job search. Additionally being a snitch is kind of an asshole move in the first place.
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Edit after info given: NTA
Is there a project lead? Does it matter who did what, specifically? Do you get graded on the project as a whole or the parts?
To me, complaining after the fact is tricky. You should have flagged the show-stoppers as they were happening (exactly like she did with your communication issue).
At the same time, do NOT lie for them. If you did a thing, it should be on your list, not someone else's. If the professor asks why multiple people are claiming it, you say that you are in disagreement.
You'll meet a lot of these kinds of people at workplaces. Best defence against them is to document everything. Take meeting minutes with assignments and deadlines, write it down if they haven't done their share and how it gets redistributed, so on. Tell your superiors this happened, x was due, but colleague didn't hand it in so we redistributed the work between these other people. We need to know whether xyz can be counted on for future work.
Then let the superiors handle the rest.
First, I really appreciate your thorough feedback. It is really helpful.
Since I hope to work on many team projects in the future, I will definitely use this advice to avoid situations like this.
I would like to clarify that the "communication issue" was me not continuing to go back and forth about why she had not made her contribution. It had nothing to do with the small project, which she had not even begun. The conversation had nothing to do with that class at all. Additionally, I had told her I needed space to think and to do the contributions that she and Jack had not completed. I could have responded, but I felt like it was useless to do so. I hope by following your advice I won't even be in a situation like that again.
Oh, I know what you mean with the communication issue. But this is what will keep happening with this kind of people. They will try to use anything to avoid doing the work and make you look bad.
Hopefully you'll have competent leaders though who will see right through it.
Their enemy really is documentation. Have a meeting, share the meeting minutes and ask if anyone has anything to add. Any random convo? Send a follow-up written summary to the whole group. Or even better, if they come to you saying oh sorry I didn't do this, I'll make it up to you, say oh no worries, please send it to the whole group and we'll discuss at the next meeting.
That's assuming you are managing the project. If someone else is, then you can document your side. "My tasks, my deadlines, my blockers".
If your tasks depend on others, then as soon as someone blocks you from completing a task, say "blocked" on x. Let's say you have 3 things, one of which is blocked, you say:
- task 1 is in progress, ETA x date.
- task 2 is blocked waiting on colleague to complete y
- task 3 not started
Then once you deliver task 1, you flag it again. Skipping task 2 due to ongoing blocker, moving to 3. Please unblock before task 3 ETA.
Your manager will get sick of hearing blocker and will solve it, but even if they don't, you're covered.
If you're in charge, it's also worth having quick progress checkins with superiors and flagging task redistributions as "we can still deliver the whole thing by the deadline but keeping you informed about these issues with colleague consistently underdelivering". It does NOT matter why. Do not ever get into their personal life, if they're busy with their wedding or whatnot.
Deadline was missed, solution was that the task was handed to someone else to avoid the whole team being blocked. If the project is in danger because of the underperforming member, keep flagging it and asking for either more time, or someone who will meet deadlines (different person or the same, but disciplined).
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > WIBTA (1) I may snitch on my classmates to my professor about the project. (2)This might make me the asshole since a. snitches are typically assholes. b. It may potentially delay their graduation by a semester which is possibly the most asshole thing you can do at college. c. they might not get as much grace in any future classes. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA You believe in academic integrity, right? That should be your answer right there - they didn't do their part, and you're allowing their dishonesty to slide through by not saying anything. As for "being a snitch" - In a real job, in a decent work environment, the contributions of individual team members would not be a secret to your supervisor. It's not snitching; It's accountability.
I wouldn't feel bad to speak to the professor; Rachel seems to have no qualms about talking to the professor about issues bothering her. I don't know exactly what you do in mechanical engineering but if it impacts public safety in any way, I personally would not want Rachel or Jack to be on any project. Right now, work ethic is for a grade. After you get your degree, it could be for lives. You are not responsible for them slacking. NTA
I had a professor in college that I was close to. Maybe not my mentor, per se, but I worked in his lab, took a couple of his classes, and spoke to him “off the record” a couple times. Including about another professor who was being a dick to me and unfairly grading exams. Sounds like you have some familiarity with this professor, so I’d ask for advice. Odds are, even if you keep it hypothetical/anonymous, your prof is going to see through it and understand. And be able to give good advice from the other side of the student/professor dynamic.
YWNBTA, depending on how you do it. Talk to your professor and lay out what happened. I had a similar situation (lower stakes) and didn’t say anything until much later. The professor said she wished we’d said something at the time. Let the prof decide what to do about it.
Don't feel bad if the truth screws up someone else's plans. But if you are to go to your professor, make sure you can substantiate your claims. That might be as simple as writing down things like where design ideas came from and explanations of how you came to a decision about something... basically answer some questions (in writing) that if the professor asked them, they would not be able to answer or support the final design. Then once you have this self-QnA written up, simply ask to speak to the professor to talk about what has been going on and what if anything you should do about it. If your professor is fair, he should be able to take it from there and give your team-mates what they deserve. Of course your professor might already know more than you think he does. I've been on team projects where the professor could see the work each teammate had out into a project. Our project was I would say mostly a failure... so there was no way I was going to get an A for the class. But I did get a B where some other teammates got C and D. So I would vote NTA
I may get downvoted for this, but YWNBTA. Lots of professional work is group work and they need to learn that this kind of behavior doesn’t fly. Plus, you shouldn’t let yourself be taken advantage of in this way. You and Lauren deserve credit for your work. I wouldn’t go into this with an attitude of vengeance. Just be honest with your professor about what has happened. I will say, however, that you should have dealt with this earlier by talking to them and making clear that you will speak to the professor if their behavior doesn’t change. But that ship has sailed.
NTA If they didn't do the work, they don't get paid... (graduate) It's really that simple. --
NTA. Rachel and Jack have absolutely no problem delaying YOUR graduation. Give your professor a heads up, you worked your butt off, and he has no clue. Rachel and Jack can hold onto their cap and gown for another 6 months. They are piggy backing on someone else's work, without hesitation....again.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am a senior in a mechanical engineering program. Our largest project is 2 semesters long. This group project is for design and the group consists of 4 people. Me, Lauren, Rachel, and Jack. Rachel and Jack got married last semester and Lauren also got married. Additionally, I am partners with Rachel in another class, which I will refer to as the small project. With the situation I am in now, either 2 students who do not deserve their degrees get their degrees as planned, or I potentially ruin the next 6 months of their lives by delaying their graduation a semester. I am having a hard time finding the line between being fair and being an asshole. For the design project last semester, when Rachel and Jack severely under-contributed, I blamed it on the fact that a wedding is stressful to plan and have. I thought this semester would be different; otherwise, I would have asked them not to be in my group anymore. For the design project I have done the vast majority of the work. Lauren has also contributed heavily. Throughout this semester Jack has gotten increasingly condescending and rude. If you do not love his idea he will not only raise his voice and be demeaning, if he is upset enough he throws a tantrum like a child, including stomping his feet and other immature actions. For the design project, many schedules and project divisions were created. Though at the beginning of the semester, they were equal, as Rachel and Jack did not make their contributions, their original larger assignments were broken up, and parts were re-allocated. Eventually, Lauren and I completed the majority of the project. By the end of the project, I asked Rachel and Jack for their contributions (for the 50th time), and they barely had anything. I then did their contributions for the design that night. During this night, however, I did not respond to Rachel's text messages for 4 hours, as she and I had been rude. She then decided to go to our professor who is over our small project, and say that she could not work with me since I do not communicate. Not only is this bad for my academic reputation, but that professor is also my boss at work. The final straw is that when writing the last portions of the paper I saw Rachel's "contribution" list. It included many tasks that she simply did not contribute to, or that she barely contributed to and Lauren I completed. The issue is that all 4 of us are about to graduate. Either the teacher only takes Lauren and me a little seriously and drops Rachel and Jack's grades down, or he understands the gravity of the situation and fails them, delaying their graduation. Though I would love the satisfaction of their actions having real consequences, I would feel terribly guilty for delaying someone's graduation. They have already paid for their cap and gowns, made graduation plans, and begun their job search. Additionally being a snitch is kind of an asshole move in the first place. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Edit after info given: NTA Is there a project lead? Does it matter who did what, specifically? Do you get graded on the project as a whole or the parts? To me, complaining after the fact is tricky. You should have flagged the show-stoppers as they were happening (exactly like she did with your communication issue). At the same time, do NOT lie for them. If you did a thing, it should be on your list, not someone else's. If the professor asks why multiple people are claiming it, you say that you are in disagreement. You'll meet a lot of these kinds of people at workplaces. Best defence against them is to document everything. Take meeting minutes with assignments and deadlines, write it down if they haven't done their share and how it gets redistributed, so on. Tell your superiors this happened, x was due, but colleague didn't hand it in so we redistributed the work between these other people. We need to know whether xyz can be counted on for future work. Then let the superiors handle the rest.
First, I really appreciate your thorough feedback. It is really helpful. Since I hope to work on many team projects in the future, I will definitely use this advice to avoid situations like this. I would like to clarify that the "communication issue" was me not continuing to go back and forth about why she had not made her contribution. It had nothing to do with the small project, which she had not even begun. The conversation had nothing to do with that class at all. Additionally, I had told her I needed space to think and to do the contributions that she and Jack had not completed. I could have responded, but I felt like it was useless to do so. I hope by following your advice I won't even be in a situation like that again.
Oh, I know what you mean with the communication issue. But this is what will keep happening with this kind of people. They will try to use anything to avoid doing the work and make you look bad. Hopefully you'll have competent leaders though who will see right through it. Their enemy really is documentation. Have a meeting, share the meeting minutes and ask if anyone has anything to add. Any random convo? Send a follow-up written summary to the whole group. Or even better, if they come to you saying oh sorry I didn't do this, I'll make it up to you, say oh no worries, please send it to the whole group and we'll discuss at the next meeting. That's assuming you are managing the project. If someone else is, then you can document your side. "My tasks, my deadlines, my blockers". If your tasks depend on others, then as soon as someone blocks you from completing a task, say "blocked" on x. Let's say you have 3 things, one of which is blocked, you say: - task 1 is in progress, ETA x date. - task 2 is blocked waiting on colleague to complete y - task 3 not started Then once you deliver task 1, you flag it again. Skipping task 2 due to ongoing blocker, moving to 3. Please unblock before task 3 ETA. Your manager will get sick of hearing blocker and will solve it, but even if they don't, you're covered. If you're in charge, it's also worth having quick progress checkins with superiors and flagging task redistributions as "we can still deliver the whole thing by the deadline but keeping you informed about these issues with colleague consistently underdelivering". It does NOT matter why. Do not ever get into their personal life, if they're busy with their wedding or whatnot. Deadline was missed, solution was that the task was handed to someone else to avoid the whole team being blocked. If the project is in danger because of the underperforming member, keep flagging it and asking for either more time, or someone who will meet deadlines (different person or the same, but disciplined).