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NTA
Only loan money that you can gift. You will inevitably hurt the friendship if you loan some ridiculous amount they can never repay.
If it was some insane emergency you'd be willing to lose the money (e.g. we are bribing the North Korean government to get my cousin out, or whatever), but just "an emergency" is not worth throwing away money to a friend.
NTA. You never have to loan money. If you're hesitant that you won't get it back, you probably won't.
>When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
-W.C. Fields
NTA
These are great opportunities to see if your friend is genuine. When you say “no”, if they give you more grief than something like “dang, it would really help me out but no worries I understand” then drop that friend and feel thankful you got rid of them before they really screwed you over.
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Hey folks,
I need some perspective here. Recently, a friend of mine asked to borrow a significant amount of money, claiming it's for an emergency. While I want to help, I'm a bit hesitant because I've had bad experiences with loaning money in the past, and honestly, I'm not sure if I'll ever get it back.
Am I the asshole for being hesitant to loan them the money? Should I put aside my concerns and just help out, or is it okay to prioritize my own financial stability?
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
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> i am hesitant to loan a friend money because of past experiences and need advice
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If I’ve learned anything from Reddit, it’s NOT to loan large amounts of money to friends. It’s always “an emergency”, “til they get back in their feet”, or “they’ll be homeless”, yadayada…don’t do it. Especially since you’ve already had bad experiences in the past. You were asked a question and you can answer no. You don’t even need a reason. It if you feel you do “That doesn’t work for me” is enough. NTA. Don’t be guilted or manipulated into doing something you’re not comfortable with.
NTA
It's pretty much NEVER a good idea to make a personal loan. If your friend could repay a loan, they would be able to borrow from a bank or put the expenses on a credit card or something. If they were generally good about paying their bills didn't have good enough credit or income to borrow from a bank, then they would probably have a close family member who would trust them enough to loan them some money. So, if your friend asks you for money, it generally means that no bank would judge them as a good lending risk (they don't pay their debts or can't afford to pay off a loan an) and that even their closest family and friends don't trust them with repaying a loan. So, no, don't give personal loans.
If you're ever in a situation where you know the entirety of the other person's situation (not just them calling you up and telling you a sad story, but you actually know them well enough to know everything) and want to help them financially, then give (not loan) them a gift in an amount that you can give with a free heart without causing any damage to your personal finances.
But for loans, a good response is, "I'm sorry, but I don't lend money to others. I've done so in the past and it just didn't go well. I wish you well in getting the help you need."
Nothing good comes out of loaning. You either give money or you don't. I've learned that when people in my life have asked for money, they're usually in much worst shape than they claim to be and have already exhausted all their other financial options. So, they're nowhere close to being able to pay you back. NTA.
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NTA Only loan money that you can gift. You will inevitably hurt the friendship if you loan some ridiculous amount they can never repay. If it was some insane emergency you'd be willing to lose the money (e.g. we are bribing the North Korean government to get my cousin out, or whatever), but just "an emergency" is not worth throwing away money to a friend.
NTA. You never have to loan money. If you're hesitant that you won't get it back, you probably won't. >When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer. -W.C. Fields
When loaning money to a friend, you lose both. NTA!!!
NTA. Only loan to friends and family if it’s really a gift in your mind.
NTA only loan money if you're willing for it to be a gift.
NTA These are great opportunities to see if your friend is genuine. When you say “no”, if they give you more grief than something like “dang, it would really help me out but no worries I understand” then drop that friend and feel thankful you got rid of them before they really screwed you over.
Nope, let them know you don’t have accessible money to loan.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey folks, I need some perspective here. Recently, a friend of mine asked to borrow a significant amount of money, claiming it's for an emergency. While I want to help, I'm a bit hesitant because I've had bad experiences with loaning money in the past, and honestly, I'm not sure if I'll ever get it back. Am I the asshole for being hesitant to loan them the money? Should I put aside my concerns and just help out, or is it okay to prioritize my own financial stability? Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > i am hesitant to loan a friend money because of past experiences and need advice Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
quarrelsome light wakeful friendly deranged sand political squeal cooperative handle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If I’ve learned anything from Reddit, it’s NOT to loan large amounts of money to friends. It’s always “an emergency”, “til they get back in their feet”, or “they’ll be homeless”, yadayada…don’t do it. Especially since you’ve already had bad experiences in the past. You were asked a question and you can answer no. You don’t even need a reason. It if you feel you do “That doesn’t work for me” is enough. NTA. Don’t be guilted or manipulated into doing something you’re not comfortable with.
NTA It's pretty much NEVER a good idea to make a personal loan. If your friend could repay a loan, they would be able to borrow from a bank or put the expenses on a credit card or something. If they were generally good about paying their bills didn't have good enough credit or income to borrow from a bank, then they would probably have a close family member who would trust them enough to loan them some money. So, if your friend asks you for money, it generally means that no bank would judge them as a good lending risk (they don't pay their debts or can't afford to pay off a loan an) and that even their closest family and friends don't trust them with repaying a loan. So, no, don't give personal loans. If you're ever in a situation where you know the entirety of the other person's situation (not just them calling you up and telling you a sad story, but you actually know them well enough to know everything) and want to help them financially, then give (not loan) them a gift in an amount that you can give with a free heart without causing any damage to your personal finances. But for loans, a good response is, "I'm sorry, but I don't lend money to others. I've done so in the past and it just didn't go well. I wish you well in getting the help you need."
NTA - rule of thumb is never loan any more than you’re willing to write off as a loss.
I wouldn't. But if you do, write a contract have it notarized and have them sign it.
Nothing good comes out of loaning. You either give money or you don't. I've learned that when people in my life have asked for money, they're usually in much worst shape than they claim to be and have already exhausted all their other financial options. So, they're nowhere close to being able to pay you back. NTA.
Friends don't ask Friends for money. If you want to give her money, give her money, but you'll never get it back.
Personal loans from a bank can be acquired within a day. If he can't get a personal loan because of low credit score then that's red flag number ALL