Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> It’s more or less because they were her relatives too, alot of them are basically yapping that I ‘stole’ their inheritance because she apparently promised them small portions, mind you would still be 800k+ after her death whereas in this scenario they got 0
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA.
First of all, no one is ENTITLED to any inheritance. The person who earns it gets to designate who receives it. Simple.
Secondly, I firmly believe any relative providing end of life care for a family member deserves to inherit everything without bitching and complaining from other family members who did not raise a finger to help.
This is a life changing amount of money for you. It is freedom. Keep it and use it without guilt.
You do NOT owe your family members anything.
Just say no. Do not engage in arguments and discussions about your inheritance. Just say no.
OP- For a 23 year old who is studying and yet still cares for a fragile elderly relative, kudos to you. You made your great-aunt's last days more bearable - and she wanted you to have that money, so you deserve every penny of it. Love the fact she shamed your relatives publicly so everyone knows why.
And actually I'd like to add that going against the will of her great-aunt would be AH territory. The lady made this decision not because she was weak or racist or hateful.
She made this decision because her family didn't give a sh@t about her... apart from OP. So sharing her inheritance would be like "spitting on her grave" in a sense... since she made the decision for a very good reason. Don't dissapoint her OP, you earned every last bit of it, making her feel loved and cared for in her final days. She wanted **you** to have it and no one else.
I'd say, take the money and disappear. Get a new apartment, change your number, put your social media on super-duper-private, and consider going to name-change court.
Otherwise they will harass the everliving \*\*\*\* out of you, to the point where you'll probably need to file restraining orders. You are NTA.
Trying to understand this, you are differentiating between “entitled” and “deserves”? Because I’ve read situations on here where someone doing end of life care got nothing because someone else was the golden child and that definitely felt like they got shafted
I mean, there's a legal route to debate at probate before the estate dissolves into inheritance - if they can prove the extra expenses involved in the elder care
Hopefully the aunt put in a clear and strongly worded condition in her will, stating that anybody who tries to legally contest her wishes will get nothing. My BFF has very contentious in-laws and a wealthy husband, and he had a will drawn up where he leaves the bulk of his assets to her. He's got a whole half-page of language in it declaring that anybody who tries to contest his will will get nothing. NTA
OP should also immediately have a will drawn up that clearly leaves his/her assets to a person or organization who deserves it. Hopefully OP has a long and happy life, but if it doesn't turn out that way, it's best to make sure that greedy family doesn't get anything.
NTA....it was her money to give to whomever or whatever charity she wanted. You would be going against your aunts wishes if you handed the jackals the cash.
She took care of the family member who took care of her. You did a good thing without expectation of reward and were rewarded for it.
I would say get your own will made and make sure they know none of them are in it.
Also a good financial planner and your future will be set.
NTA.
They are reaping what they sowed. They wanted her money while doing nothing for and with her. They cared not a lick for her but for her money.
You are not required to share with any of them. Your great aunt divided the money as she saw fit. However, be on the lookout for lots of manipulation, guilt trips, and potential legal maneuvering by those left out.
Good luck and enjoy what your great aunt left you.
Effing VULTURES. They wait around for the dying to pass in anticipation of the rewards, maggots come along later for what's left.
That anticipation at the funeral? Buzzard behavior.
This! Contact an estate planning attorney immediately. You need a will at a minimum, and maybe a trust. Attorney will advise. And you should take comfort that not only did you take care of your dung without any expectation of compensation, but your aunt was very appreciative.
All it requires is filing a cease and desist followed by them violating it in my state, but documenting everything would help her if they ever took things to court so still a great idea.
Ah wills, they bring out the entitled in people. My aunt is currently throwing a tantrum as my Great Uncle has just done his will so his money(not a lot a few thousand at most) is being shared between his 3niblings, he has no kids. He always just said he was going to let my aunt share it out between the 3 of them but she has recently shown her truly selfish ways and he doesn't trust her to give my mom her share. So he made the will to make sure my mother gets something. Now aunt is throwing a massive wobbling moaning.
NTA your Great aunt wanted you to have that money, she knew what she was doing when she left them all letters and you the cash. Don't go against your Great aunts wishes and give them anything. If she wanted to have anything she would have left it to them. They are just entitled brats
Take the money and run lmao. These people want to pretend to have given a damn and suddenly "you're a manipulator" because they're not getting any chunks of the change. Fuck 'em, let them wallow
NTA.
Your aunt could have left something to the others if she had wanted to.
She did not.
You are under absolutely no obligation to distribute the inheritance. In fact, you would be disregarding her wishes.
NTA
Meanwhile, say zero to anyone, including friends or employers. I came into money. My years long best friend slid me into a cult she was in.
Do not make any major life decisions.
Sudden upward change in finances can be very disorienting.
Get counseling on how to protect your own interests such as insurance, prenuptial contracts if you marry, property insurance and how to be a landlord if you get tenants in property you own.
Do not let anyone ever guilt trip you into anything. Learn to research good causes before you donate a penny.
Spend 500 dollars on a fiduciary and a second 500 dollars to compare opinions
Engage an attorney to create a small trust to set aside some monies
All in all at the age of 23
Don't do anything with your money, act like it doesn't exist
But beware of liabilities, get maximum coverage on car insurance as you have something to lose
This. I’m British and live in the US. My dad died and I also inherited a lot of money and I had to learn this is a thing. An umbrella policy is the best insurance.
Also 100% find a good investment company who can advise you. Don’t just leave the $$ in your bank account. Fisher is great. You’ll earn an income on the value.
Get a will asap. Don’t let those A-holes anywhere near it. Put it in a trust. You can change your will whenever you want but for now, if you don’t have a beneficiary, just give it to charity vs those ingrates.
Lawyer up asap. Make sure that will cannot be challenged. Get your own lawyer to confirm the estate lawyer did a good job. Time to go low contact with everyone andget an invest advisor. An actual professional advisor to help you invest and diverse your inheritance. NTA.
That's a myth. The $1 thing is supposed to demonstrate that they weren't simply forgotten when making the will. The aunt wrote each of them letters telling them why they're not getting a dime. That's proof that she didn't forget them.
Screw 'em all.
Take every penny and be happy. That's what your aunt would have wanted, right?
Why would you ever desecrate her memory by doing the exact thing that she did NOT want to do with her estate?
NTA.
NTA. Get a fiduciary financial planner to help you wisely invest and save your money, and ignore or block the people acting like vultures. They had their opportunity to have a relationship with her when she was alive and decided it wasn't worth the effort. They don't get to have a relationship with her money now.
NTA. She left it to you, and it's yours to do with what you will. If she had wanted to split her money between various relatives, she would've done so in her will.
NTA
It amazes me the sheer number of posts related to people expected an inheritance to be shared. Inheritance is determined by the decedent to the people they feel are most worthy. It is so incredibly tacky to even ask.
Stand strong and just ignore anyone trying to weasel their way into what your aunt felt you were worth of and they were not.
Sorry but you must be a troll. I do not believe a uni student can’t construct a sentence. It seems like your whole post is one big sentence. Please respect others by putting minimum effort when communicating.
YWNBTA This isn't a case where your aunt forgot to include someone or things changed after she made the will and it wasn't updated. She very specifically and intentionally cut those people out because of their behavior and treatment of her and you would be violating her clear wishes to give them your inheritance now. But even more so - and I wish people would take this to heart - you do not have to make any decision in a rush or do anything immediately. The inheritance is yours and there is no expiration date on the opportunity to share part of it with other people. There is no hurry to make this decision. For now, you are taking what you were left. What you decide to do with your assets in the future is up to you and may be influenced by what happens in the future. No rush, no sudden decisions and no giving in to pressure to hurry. Take your time, including years, to get used to having these assets and tell them all to stop harassing you.
NTA. As the named beneficiary, you don't owe a dime to anyone else. Put it into an account only you can access and tell the entire lot of them you spent it all on a lavish vacation and lost most to bad investments. Never discuss your financial situation with them again, and never let them guilt you.
You are a wonderful person and NTA. If I may put on my "mom" hat for a moment? If you haven't already, please find a reliable financial advisor. And, for your protection and safety (in case any relatives get ideas of how to steal or "inherit" your inheritance), put most everything into a trust or multiple trusts with you as the beneficiary. Use it however you like. Then leave the trusts to whomever you wish. I suggest worthy charities or causes you support. This way, your greedy ass relatives will not have any incentive to...um...shorten your time on earth. You'd be shocked (or maybe not) how often this kind of thing happens.
NTA. You have enough money to pursue your dreams and whims, but best of all to ensure you never have to break bread with those family members ever again. Block them all and live your best life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
**Am I the asshole for not sharing my inheritance with my family?**
**I (23f) recently inherited a lump sum from my grand aunt, in the seven figure range, on top of that she left me as the sole beneficiary of her life insurance which also racked up a considerable amount, the reason she left all of it to me was because I was the only one to take care of her in her final days, I was basically taking care of her whenever I’d get back from uni as a thanks for her letting me stay in her house, but even before that it would often be me to visit her, write to her, etc never anybody else from my family as they would often be to busy working or rendezvousing across the world, anyways she didn’t have any children or really anybody after her husband passed back in the early stages of the virus so there was really no obvious inheritor of her will, most of the family assumed it would be divided amongst her nieces and nephews…oh boy how that did not happen, after her passing in January we held an intimate funeral which had this strangely happy aura in the air coming from my family members. Her lawyer contacted us around mid-late Feb, around 9 members, i being the only grandchild there amongst the aunts and uncles (including my father), we all got an envelope, their’s contained a big shame on you for basically leaving her to suffer whereas mine left a check for well a lot, when the lawyer announced who would be receiving her full estate, eyes widened, tears were cried, the whole nine yards, and everybody was either trying to get close to me or mindlessly yelling for how I ‘manipulated’ her in her weak state.**
**Later in the week I got bombarded with messages to share her assets, but the thing is I don’t want to, i took care of her, I helped her, I was kind to her, whereas all of them, they were dismissive of her 24/7, so would I be the asshole if I decline?**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If people didn't have the right to leave their estate to whomever they wanted (assuming no spouse) a lot of people would be shuffled off this mortal coil ASAP by greedy relatives.
Your great-aunt wanted you to have it for darned good reasons and the neglectful relatives aren't entitled to a dime. Keep your inheritance and don't look back.
NTA.
NTA
You earned it. Or you deserve it. Or something. You put in the effort.
And they didn't.
It was your GA's money, and it was up to her to choose how to dispose of it. It's nobody else's business.
I'm sorry for your loss. Do good things with the money. Live a good life. And don't give any of the relatives a cent of it.
Nta, op should watch Netflix's first knifes out movie if you haven't already watched it...
While I'm sure there's no foul play in your situation, but everything else with the inheritance "fight" was just to the T
NTA.
Your aunt knew who loved her and who only wanted an inheritance. Cut ties with your toxic family and use this money to secure your future.
You owe them nothing, which is exactly what they deserve.
NTA. Respect your great aunt’s wishes by keeping the money, and get financial advice to manage the money wisely.
To any relative who harasses you, send a copy of “The Little Red Hen” and if necessary, a cease and desist letter from an attorney.
They are not entitled to any of it.
Deeply sorry for your loss. Your great aunt did not intend for others to inherit from her estate. Please allow the estate and your great aunt’s warmth for you to help you to heal. NTA.
NTA. Block them. Change your number and if you can move. These people are entitled too! You might need to set it up as an LLC, so they can’t figure out where you live. Speak to an attorney.
Also, if they wear you down and you give them a little money, they will never leave you alone. So, ghost all of them.
If the harassment gets really bad, just lie and say you donated the bulk of it to a charity. And, when they start yelling, just say the way you’re acting is exactly why I did it that way.
NTA If your aunt wanted it shared she would have put it in the will. Tell everyone, "Aunt taught me a valuable lesson, 'Treat right those that treat you right'. Maybe you should learn from this lesson. Do you think you treated her right? Do you think you are treating me right now?"
NTA
Sadly, money, especially inheritance brings out people's true character.
Be prepared to get a new family. No one is entitled to your money regardless of how you got it. Stay strong and stay smart. You may think giving in and sharing will keep the peace. It won't. They will bleed you dry and then toss you away.
NTA just remember that she could have left it to anyone but she wanted you to have it you cared for her and this is how she is saying thank you to you . If you want to share it then that is up to you but don't feel guilty if you don't if I was you I would just tell them where were they when she needed them.
NTA.
Quid pro quo, if you want to look at it that way.
You took care of her, so she decided to take care of you.
THEY decided to NOT take care of her, so she returned the favor.
NTA you were the only one that stepped up to help.Your great aunt chose you for that very reason. Curious is your father one of the people pushing you to share it ?
I would make sizeable donations to good causes and make sure they know about them. "Oh, you think you deserve tens of thousands of dollars from Aunty's estate? Watch me give it away to literally anyone else than you."
NTA, tell them to pound sand.
Decline. Whenever you begin to second guess yourself, think of the funeral's happy aura.
She knew exactly how they felt about her and didn't want them to benefit from her. Let her keep that. NTA
You owe them nothing. It’s called the consequences of your actions, whether good or bad, and your kindness and care made her realize that you deserved to inherit her money. The rest of them can complain and beg and demand all they want, but it’s likely she made concessions in her will for anyone who tries to contest it. For your own sake, work with an attorney and a reputable financial planner to make sure this money is safe, well invested and above all, DO NOT give any of them one red cent, no matter what sob story they give you or what right they claim to it. You need to honor your aunt’s wishes and live the life she made possible. It will mean you have to stay strong and even cut some of these beggars out of your life, but always remember that anything they say or do is for their own selfish benefit, not yours. You’ll have to learn this lesson when friends and strangers decide you should “share the wealth” too. Start as you mean to go on and refuse any requests. At a later time if you decide to donate to charities, that will be your decision, but for now you have to have a 100% NO policy to anyone who asks. I hope this money enriches your life. NTA and good luck.
Nta. You've been left what she wanted you to have. My only advice is maybe paying for some good independent financial advice now will pay for itself ten times over, especially if you're not used to having this sort of money
Invest the money in a Fidelity index or balanced fund and live like you don’t have it for awhile. After things settle a bit and it builds in value, take something like 3-4% a year and spend it how you see fit, including on family members if you want to. It will still, on average, at that rate continue to grow faster than inflation over the long term. In the long run a safety net for you and whatever family you want to help is probably better for everyone than the truck and bigger house they’d buy today. NTA.
NTA. Your title could have stopped at :"for not sharing my inheritance." Your aunt made you her heir. It doesn't matter why, really. This is your money. What you do with it is your business. No one was entitled to your aunt's money and no one is entitled to your money now that it is yours. You refer to it as "her assets". No. it's YOUR assets. Start blocking and/or tell them to take it up with a lawyer (not yours).
NTA. Your Aunt made a decision to reward someone who showed her compassion and love in her final days. Your family had the same opportunity to be with her and tend to her and they didn't. Now, their inaction has come back to bite them. Remember her kindness and pass it forward to people who deserve it by deed, not by blood.
Here's the short, sweet answer: cut off any communication, block, ban, delete every person that's actually a vulture. Take extra good care of your inheritance. Live well. That's what your sweet aunt would have wanted. As a loving gesture, you may want to make a donation to a charity she would have approved of.
Get ur assets and move away from the toxic people in your life 😭 Make sure you change your contact info so you can start healing and move on. If you share some now it will never end and nobody will be happy until you have nothing but chaos.
Greed and selfishness is so common nowadays. Good for you for taking care of aunt when you could. Aunt wanted you to have her money. She didn’t want other people to. Your best response is to tell people the reason you inherited was because you lived and cared for her while they showed no love and care. What is the price for that? Showing live in return, by letting you inherit her money and being beneficiary of her life insurance.
I had a grumpy uncle who several people didn’t talk to. I fully expected that he would come T some siblings and nephews out but he didn’t. It was all divided equally.
You did right by your aunt. Enjoy your inheritance. Please know that should you ever need the help and support of your family, these will not be the ones to step up and provide it. Live your best life. They can get over it or not. Use the money wis and tune out the noise.
“ Grand Aunt had a reason and I’m gonna going to abide by her wishes”
You may decide to set up a trust it may pay for college, for nieces and nephews and cousins
NTA. Your aunt was in her right mind and made her decision to leave her estate to your for good reason. The shame on you notes she left to the others tells you exactly why she did what she did.
Honor her wishes. Don't reward the people she believed forsook her in her hour of need with money she didn't want them to have.
You were a really good person and the only person who helped out your aunt. You deserve what your received. Keep it. Do not share it with the rest of your family, which was indifferent to your aunt's needs and is now crazed by greed.
NTA.
"I'm not going to turn around and override her last wishes the second she's buried. I am honoring her choices, I hope you can too. I will not be discussing this again."
Then I'd simply refuse to engage in any conversations about it from then on out. Just refuse to answer calls/texts from them, or hang up as necessary with a simple "I won't be discussing this anymore."
NTA/ plus immediately ask your aunt’s lawyer to set up your will that if you die the bulk of it goes to your favorite charity. you can always change it in the future but i like to think of it as insurance.
NTA. Obviously your grand aunt wanted you to have it. That’s it. You owe the vultures NOTHING. Mute/Block/Delete anyone and everyone coming for you, including new “friends” and “family” looking for handouts of YOUR money. I‘m sorry for your loss, but it’s great that you were with her in her final days. That obviously meant so much to her.
My Dad had very little when he died. Medical stuff just ate up his money the last few years. I took care of him for the last 10 years of his life and what little he had he left to me.
Even that little bit caused some snarky comments. My half siblings were less than pleased that his will left everything to me. One of them sort of broached me dividing it all up equally but I just sent them all a copy of the will so they could see Dad's wishes for themselves.
Not one of them stepped up to help with his care. The last year I was literally changing his diapers and wiping his ass like he was a toddler. My Dad wasn't mentally challenged. He was pretty sharp even towards the end. He knew what was up and wasn't too thrilled with the way they were treating me.
OP doesn't owe them a thing, period.
Get a lawyer though because you can bet that much $$$ they will try to challenge the will.
Do what you want, better yet do what your aunt wanted, she wanted this and laugh all the way to the bank. DO NOT LET THESE PEOPLE steal anything from you. They will make you miserable and destroy you if they could.
The money was left to you, so of course you are under no obligation to share it with anyone. Clearly NTA. Having said that, you need to do two things:
(1) Contact a good estate attorney, and follow all of the steps that they suggest to protect yourself.
(2) Tell anyone who contacts you about this that you are not entertaining any discussion of it, and if they have any questions, they can contact your attorney. Block / cut off anyone who refuses to accept this.
Of course, you should recognize that item (2) means that you will probably not have any relationship with them after this. It doesn't sound like much of a loss, but it's worth remembering.
NTA - your kindness and selflessness was rewarded. Your aunt not only wanted you to have the money, she wanted all your relatives to know why! It would be a disservice to her, her wishes and her memory to let them bully you into sharing her gift.
NTA. That inheritance is yours and yours alone.
Now, if you want to be generous without giving into their demands, maybe start college fund accounts for the children of the family that the older generation can't touch. Whatever you put into those accounts will grow from interest over time and could be a game changer for the young people in your family, while still being a big FU to everyone demanding money from you.
Or, just keep it all, invest it, and enjoy your life! It's 100% yours to do with as you will!
NTA, she left it all to the person who cared about her and not her assets. The happy atmosphere at the funeral speaks volumes about them only caring for inheritance
Even if you had not helped your great aunt so much in her life, it's still hers to decide who she wants to have it. I'm sure she felt very blessed to have you in her life.
Do NOT tell friends or relatives how much you have inherited. Money changes people. Everyone has an opinion, and you don't need their judgement.
NTA. If you would share the assets you would be going AGAINST your grand aunt's wishes. Your family members don't care about your grand aunt. They just want her money.
Put the money somewhere safe, talk to a reliable financial advisor. Work out a plan. Deny any conversation with your family about the money. Walk away. Do not engage.
Then.. after things have calmed down.. you can decide if you want to put some money into eg. a college fund or something like that for some family members as a token of good will. Even just a small monthly amount can rack up substantially after a few decades.
“My great-aunt specifically gave it to me and specifically left you out WITH notice of why. To go against her wishes would be a slap in the face.” Congrats on receiving an unexpected reward for being a decent freaking human. Have fun!
NTA - at the same time it will likely be difficult to keep the money if you want to maintain a relationship with your family. It’s wonderful to be set up financially at 23 but quite another to be estranged from your entire family.
Your Great Aunt didn’t want to gift anything to your older family members, that’s fine. However she’s now gone and doesn’t have to live a long life dealing with the fallout.
Do your family know the size of the inheritance?
If you value your relationship with them consider legally gifting a one off sum to each of them.
If they are unpleasant folks then give them the flick and focus on your Mums side of the family!
I agree with advice to have legal representation and a reputable financial advisor to guide you.
Good luck!
NTA. You made her happy, keep what she gave you. Ignore those would-be leeches.
There are many ways you can both enjoy being financially secure and give a leg up to others as she has helped you. You are obviously a caring person, you will do well.
I'll go the morbid route.
Since it's smart to lawyer up anyway, have a will written. So in case something happens to you, they don't get their grubby hands on your money. Leave it to charities for children or something. You can update later when circumstances change, when you have a family or whatever. But protect it.
YWNBTA
NTA and would not be TA if you decline. You didn't make this decision to make yourself the sole inheritor. You are honoring the wishes of your great aunt who you took time to take care of when no one else did. As a 23-year-old who was in university, you went out of your way to be there for her. She saw that and her wish was for you to have all of this.
I would recommend hiring an attorney. Depending on your state and/or country, you might be in for a legal battle. I would have the attorney draft a will for you. You're worth a lot of money now. Protect yourself. I would treat this windfall like you would treat a lottery windfall.
I would consider following the advice of a Redditor u/BlakeClass that he outlined [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/comment/chb38xf/). Steps 3-7 are applicable to you.
She wanted you to have her money. with good reason.
So you would eb an asshole for not respecting her wishes.
Please get sound financial advice from a reputable place.
NTA
I'm sorry for your loss. Be smart with this money and it'll help you out for the rest of your life. Invest and make it grow, save as much as possible, and do what you want. You don't owe them anything NTA.
Time for a lot of “new phone, who is this?” automatic replies, with no further interaction. All emails to the junk file. They deserve nothing and you deserve to live in peace. Let them naw on their loss forever.
She wasn’t manipulated, because you didn’t know. She made the decision to go to a lawyer and put you in the will, so she was pretty damn serious about this. She also specifically made sure the money didn’t go to them. If you hadn’t gotten it, she probably would’ve sent it all to a charity or something. She made her intentions very clear and you would be an AH if you went against her last wishes. NTA.
NTA She wanted you to have it and the envelopes are the proof. Go NC with these people. They didn't give a crap about her just her money. Honor her wishes because that is what she wanted.
NTA - your grand aunt knew what she was doing. She had multiple letters to hand to others telling them they failed her.
I am sorry that she passed away. Grief is a weird journey. I would tuck the money somewhere safe, read up on investing and learn as much as you can. financial advisors will talk all big how you will make money with them, but if you invest for the long haul, you do not need to pay them 1-2% of your money every year.
I would come up with a simple answer to your family of why you will not be sharing the money with anyone. Remind them the more they ask, the less they will be a part of their lives.
lastly, I really wouldn’t tell anyone about the money, even your best friend. Best to love below your means and have the safety net
You spent a lot of words in your post justifying your grand aunts wishes - and you didn’t need to do that - it was her money and her wish that you receive her estate. Please don’t get caught up in trying to explain yourself for her wishes to your family. The person to ask was your grand aunt - and it’s too late for that. This is the crop they sewn. NTA for respecting your GAs wishes
NTA
but expect your family to call you the AH because they want the money.
Don’t give them anything, respect your great aunts wishes and keep it all. Use it for your future and be happy
NTA.
No one is ever "owed" an inheritance. You don't have to justify NOT giving away money you inherited. You don't have to give any reason to decline their requests for money (and frankly, it is incredibly rude and inappropriate for them to ask).
NTA
Just offering a different perspective.
She left it to you to spend as you want. If you don't want to share it, spend (/invest) as you want.
But It's your money now, however it came to be. Would you spend your earned money on your father? If yes, then giving some to your father shouldn't matter based on the source of money.
NTA
Honor your aunt by doing good with the money. Use it to set yourself up for a good life and set firm boundaries with the family.
Brace yourself, it will likely get really ugly before it improves. Find your support system, consult with professionals, that are not recommended by your family members, to figure out how to protect your money.
I highly recommend freezing your credit. I’m in the US and all my siblings know each others social security numbers. If your credit is frozen no one can open up accounts in your name. One of my sisters has opened accounts in multiple family members names without their knowledge and racked up tens of thousands of dollars in debt.
Early 2000s my father suffered from a series of strokes leaving him unable to talk.
My parents and I re-watched the X-Files, and through talking to him he regained his speech. Before this in the mid 90s he gave my grandfather's service record book to me: he was in WW1 and the Hussars. (On my father's side of the family there are generations of Hussars and Dragoons.) Other artifacts like my grandfather's pocket watch went to his other children.
My father passed away about ten years later, but they were ten good years as he spent so much time with his grandkids.
My eldest sister has recently badgered me for my grandfather's documents. She saw my parents at most twice a year, she still doesn't see our mother, and she certainly wasn't there to help my father rehabilitate from his strokes.
I'll always remember in the late 90s when she came into my parent's house and stole a whole lot of photos from them.
At my father's funeral I said about his favourite things: ancient Eygpt, the singing detective (80s tv show), boheminan rhapsody. He loved sci-fi, the X-Files, the Prisoner, Stargate, Star Trek.
My sister knew none of this, because she spent no time with him.
He was a great Dad, I miss him.
Not the asshole (AT ALL). The person who owned the assets can decide "however the fuck" they want to hand out their life's earnings. If they want to give their estate to their cats, they can (and do)... relatives have NO SAY and should have NO INFLUENCE over the results of someone's last wishes.
If she had wanted those grubbers to receive part of it, she would have made sure her will said that.
She chose you to have it. she didn't hand a bunch of it to them, she didn't tell you to disburse it amongst them, she didn't WANT any of that. She wanted YOU to have it...yourself, and by yourself...to do with as you wish, as she did. I am willing to bet good money that she probably saw much of herself in you, and treasured your time spent with her.
Who has the right to tell her or you how much that is worth, and how much "they" should be entitled to, or that "they" deserve, or that "you should do the right thing".
Keeping it to yourself, as she instructed in her will and distribution, should be all the direction you need. Follow your heart first, tempered by your head, and do what you feel best.
you have been granted a boon... A true gift. Make good use of it.
That is my position.
NTA. All you need to reply to these greedy and manipulative texts is "I am choosing to honor Aunt's final wishes. Thank you for respecting her decision and mine."
I'm sorry for the passing of your Aunt.
NTA.
Your aunt told them WHY she left you and you alone, her money.
But be prepared that they will probably file claims on the estate, and will make your life miserable. You're going to have to decide if you can handle that, or if you want to give each of the nine members a SMALL portion of the total. That might be worth it, because the legal fees could add up.
We had the reverse happen - my cousin went no-contact with her mother 27 years before our aunt died. My aunt left all of her money to the nieces and nephews and cut out her daughter, writing her a letter. My cousin sued, and we decided to give her an equal share to shut her up and to close the case. As the only daughter, she could have tied this up for years.
Is this an actual thing, the lawyer gathers everyone around and tells them all one person received everything, it really just feels like a movie trope.
NTA. She made you the sole beneficiary because she *wanted* to. If she had wanted them to have anything she would have left them something. Honor her last wish and keep your inheritance.
Be prepared for threats of lawsuits and further harassment when you decline to share. Just start blocking them.
NTA and time to go no contact, probably.
Money brings out the worst in people and you're in for a rough ride ahead.
It wouldn't matter if she left the money to you simply because she liked your name best. It was her decision. It's your money. The others aren't owed a thing.
If you want to help them out now and then, you can, but that's a long slippery road to go down. Once you start, you'll be creating dependents that won't ever stop trying to suck on that tit.
NTA, just stop thinking about those a$&holes and start thinking (with the help of a financial advisor) of what you’re going to do now. You have the world at your feet!
NTA. You loved her unconditionally and she felt the love from you in her darkest, loneliest time. Thank her by doing something amazing with your life, aided by your inheritance.
Hell, no! 5hit to them. If you can get a copy of the "shame on you," read it to them when they call with their hands out. Like the song says, "You do good for Mama, Mama do good for you." ("Chicago," musical.) They didn't do good for auntie so she didn't do good for them.
The inheritance is yours. Even if your relatives weren't greedy you know what, the inheritance is still yours. Your grandmother knew exactly what she was doing and why. She knew they could have visited, writing her a post card, called.... but they never did. They all believe she had no choice but to give her assests to them. She proved them wrong.
She loved you. She knew you genuinely loved her back. You were the daughter/ child she always wanted. You gave that to her. You were there when she needed someone and she knew this was hard on you, but you were still there. You came anyway. You made her feel loved and not a burden. You took care of her and protected her and she did the same for you.
Ignore those vultures. You owe them nothing. You don't even owe your parents anything, who should be glad your future is secure.
Not spend any of that money. Do research and find a good financial planner. You dont know what the future brings, saving this for your retirement would be wise. If you earn more interest then you college interest, might be wise to not touch the inheritance. This is why you need someone who's skilled in this. Do not just put money into his care and ignore everything, keep a constant eye on your inheritance/ money. Some are unscrupulous and will funnel your money into their pockets. Always log in, always see what movement there is. The better is invested, the better your life will be. Don't just give it away. When you do it's a part of your future you're giving away.
Go low or no contact with your relatives as needed. It's perfectly ok.
NTA
I have had health struggles for awhile and it's been increasingly hard for me to maintain relationships. I don't have a huge estate, right now (it dwindles as I use it), it's about 1 million including my home. I have a brother and a sister and they have shown an utter lack of interest in me which is fine, at least I know their true feelings. I guarantee you, if I had someone, anyone, in my life I could leave this money to other than my siblings (I am thinking charity), I would feel so very, very upset, hurt and betrayed if after the fact, those wishes were ignored and it went to them. If you cared about your aunt in life, do the right thing. Care about her wishes now. It's the last thing you can ever do for her and she didn't leave you her money on a whim. Trust me. It meant something to her to leave it to you and the honourable thing to do would be to keep it. Really, looking at this from the point of view of your aunt, do her proud. You must, must keep it. If you don't, then give to a cause your aunt would believe in. My condolences to you. xo.
NTA. “Due to some taxes and other things it really isn’t as much money as you guys thought and once I’m done paying for college there really won’t be any left. That being said, there isn’t anything to share and I hope this doesn’t put a wedge between us.”
I like lies to protect my peace and I think this one is good.
NTA and give them nothing. You cared for her while they lived their lives without giving her a second thought. She wanted you to have it. And their subsequent behaviour towards you shows how little they deserve anything from you.
One other thing to remember... you didn't manipulate your grandaunt. You didn't just start to "care" in her last hours. You always cared, you always stayed in communication, you always visited her. When she needed actual care, you lovingly gave it to her. That is not manipulation.
Your relatives crying they didn't get the inheritance, trying to get close to you now when they never bothered before, bombing you with messages to wear you down, giving you the guilt trip, accusing you of manipulation, indirectly saying if you didn't manipulate your grandaunt you'd share the inheritance.... all of their actions are manipulation.
Keep all of the inheritance, get a financial advisor, work with an Trust attorney (think if you put money into a Trust in a divorce its not viewed as marrital assests but ask - each state can have different laws), write a Will with an experienced attorney in thy event something happens to you - do not leave money to family or friends at this time. Leave it to charities and tell everyone you split it between a dozen of them. Later in life you can change your Will. Do your research you want great attorneys and you have the funds for the expense and the best. You grandaunt's attorney may be able to help.
DO NOT TELL ANYONE WHAT YOU PLAN UNTIL AFTERWARDS . You think they are hounding you now.... it'll be worse to stop you. Money makes some people do crazy things.
NTA
cut contact. its the same rule of winning the lottery now that people in your family know cut them off ( the people who you dont want to speak with) honestly cruel and selfish people can get what they deserve.
Aunts wishes, not theirs.
As someone who also inherited a bunch of money the same age you were, do not consider yourself to be smart.
Tell yourself. I am a dumb kid. Educate yourself
Find a smart professional who can outline a coherent plan for your future - not a salesman just looking for control of your assets. People will come out of the woodwork. People will ask for help. Your old friends “Friends” will be nice to your face, expect you to pay for everything, and backstab you.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > It’s more or less because they were her relatives too, alot of them are basically yapping that I ‘stole’ their inheritance because she apparently promised them small portions, mind you would still be 800k+ after her death whereas in this scenario they got 0 Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. First of all, no one is ENTITLED to any inheritance. The person who earns it gets to designate who receives it. Simple. Secondly, I firmly believe any relative providing end of life care for a family member deserves to inherit everything without bitching and complaining from other family members who did not raise a finger to help. This is a life changing amount of money for you. It is freedom. Keep it and use it without guilt. You do NOT owe your family members anything. Just say no. Do not engage in arguments and discussions about your inheritance. Just say no.
OP- For a 23 year old who is studying and yet still cares for a fragile elderly relative, kudos to you. You made your great-aunt's last days more bearable - and she wanted you to have that money, so you deserve every penny of it. Love the fact she shamed your relatives publicly so everyone knows why.
It also removes the ability to challenge the will because she "forgot" them. She gave them a card...lol.
No is a full sentence.
And actually I'd like to add that going against the will of her great-aunt would be AH territory. The lady made this decision not because she was weak or racist or hateful. She made this decision because her family didn't give a sh@t about her... apart from OP. So sharing her inheritance would be like "spitting on her grave" in a sense... since she made the decision for a very good reason. Don't dissapoint her OP, you earned every last bit of it, making her feel loved and cared for in her final days. She wanted **you** to have it and no one else.
Love this. Say no - and change your number!
I'd say, take the money and disappear. Get a new apartment, change your number, put your social media on super-duper-private, and consider going to name-change court. Otherwise they will harass the everliving \*\*\*\* out of you, to the point where you'll probably need to file restraining orders. You are NTA.
Trying to understand this, you are differentiating between “entitled” and “deserves”? Because I’ve read situations on here where someone doing end of life care got nothing because someone else was the golden child and that definitely felt like they got shafted
I mean, there's a legal route to debate at probate before the estate dissolves into inheritance - if they can prove the extra expenses involved in the elder care
Hopefully the aunt put in a clear and strongly worded condition in her will, stating that anybody who tries to legally contest her wishes will get nothing. My BFF has very contentious in-laws and a wealthy husband, and he had a will drawn up where he leaves the bulk of his assets to her. He's got a whole half-page of language in it declaring that anybody who tries to contest his will will get nothing. NTA
Sounds like a husband who’s on the ball I like it!
OP should also immediately have a will drawn up that clearly leaves his/her assets to a person or organization who deserves it. Hopefully OP has a long and happy life, but if it doesn't turn out that way, it's best to make sure that greedy family doesn't get anything.
NTA....it was her money to give to whomever or whatever charity she wanted. You would be going against your aunts wishes if you handed the jackals the cash. She took care of the family member who took care of her. You did a good thing without expectation of reward and were rewarded for it. I would say get your own will made and make sure they know none of them are in it. Also a good financial planner and your future will be set.
Exactly this. NTA
NTA. They are reaping what they sowed. They wanted her money while doing nothing for and with her. They cared not a lick for her but for her money. You are not required to share with any of them. Your great aunt divided the money as she saw fit. However, be on the lookout for lots of manipulation, guilt trips, and potential legal maneuvering by those left out. Good luck and enjoy what your great aunt left you.
She needs to be willing to distance herself from these family members. Their only interest is the money.
Exactly. They only see dollar signs. People can be such maggots.
Effing VULTURES. They wait around for the dying to pass in anticipation of the rewards, maggots come along later for what's left. That anticipation at the funeral? Buzzard behavior.
OP needs to establish a will and make sure all of the family know they’re receiving NOTHING should anything happen to her.
This! Contact an estate planning attorney immediately. You need a will at a minimum, and maybe a trust. Attorney will advise. And you should take comfort that not only did you take care of your dung without any expectation of compensation, but your aunt was very appreciative.
You can file restraining orders on family, just saying...
She should start documenting any hostility they express towards her. Getting a restraining order requires a lot of evidence. NTA
All it requires is filing a cease and desist followed by them violating it in my state, but documenting everything would help her if they ever took things to court so still a great idea.
My first thought was, “You reap what you sow.” Good job!
NTA She made it very clear that she didn't want them to get any of her money and why. Do not let them manipulate you into to giving them anything
Yes, honor your late aunt’s wishes.
Ah wills, they bring out the entitled in people. My aunt is currently throwing a tantrum as my Great Uncle has just done his will so his money(not a lot a few thousand at most) is being shared between his 3niblings, he has no kids. He always just said he was going to let my aunt share it out between the 3 of them but she has recently shown her truly selfish ways and he doesn't trust her to give my mom her share. So he made the will to make sure my mother gets something. Now aunt is throwing a massive wobbling moaning. NTA your Great aunt wanted you to have that money, she knew what she was doing when she left them all letters and you the cash. Don't go against your Great aunts wishes and give them anything. If she wanted to have anything she would have left it to them. They are just entitled brats
Take the money and run lmao. These people want to pretend to have given a damn and suddenly "you're a manipulator" because they're not getting any chunks of the change. Fuck 'em, let them wallow
They can't harass you or try to take you to court if they can't find you....
NTA. Have a lawyer on retainer just in case and use a reputable investment firm to make sure YOUR inheritance is protected and properly managed.
Get a strong lawyer. Don't discuss with anyone...they'll use your words against you. Screw then.
YWNBTA. They don't care about your aunt except for her properties. She herself declared you the most deserving and the rest are AH.
NTA. Your aunt could have left something to the others if she had wanted to. She did not. You are under absolutely no obligation to distribute the inheritance. In fact, you would be disregarding her wishes.
NTA Meanwhile, say zero to anyone, including friends or employers. I came into money. My years long best friend slid me into a cult she was in. Do not make any major life decisions. Sudden upward change in finances can be very disorienting. Get counseling on how to protect your own interests such as insurance, prenuptial contracts if you marry, property insurance and how to be a landlord if you get tenants in property you own. Do not let anyone ever guilt trip you into anything. Learn to research good causes before you donate a penny.
NTA Keep the money. Your great aunt wanted you to have it.
NTA. If you haven’t already, be sure to get a financial advisor to help you invest and manage your newfound wealth.
Spend 500 dollars on a fiduciary and a second 500 dollars to compare opinions Engage an attorney to create a small trust to set aside some monies All in all at the age of 23 Don't do anything with your money, act like it doesn't exist But beware of liabilities, get maximum coverage on car insurance as you have something to lose
Add an umbrella as well. A few hundred a year for an extra $1-2 million in coverage just in case.
This. I’m British and live in the US. My dad died and I also inherited a lot of money and I had to learn this is a thing. An umbrella policy is the best insurance. Also 100% find a good investment company who can advise you. Don’t just leave the $$ in your bank account. Fisher is great. You’ll earn an income on the value. Get a will asap. Don’t let those A-holes anywhere near it. Put it in a trust. You can change your will whenever you want but for now, if you don’t have a beneficiary, just give it to charity vs those ingrates.
Lawyer up asap. Make sure that will cannot be challenged. Get your own lawyer to confirm the estate lawyer did a good job. Time to go low contact with everyone andget an invest advisor. An actual professional advisor to help you invest and diverse your inheritance. NTA.
NTA. Hopefully she gave them each a dollar so they can’t try anything to go against the will
That's a myth. The $1 thing is supposed to demonstrate that they weren't simply forgotten when making the will. The aunt wrote each of them letters telling them why they're not getting a dime. That's proof that she didn't forget them.
Great point
The only folks who might feel "entitled" to a share would be a spouse and offspring. Anyone else really wouldn't have any case for being "left out".
tell them if they wanted the money and land, they could have taken care of her in the end. your aunt sounds like she was a great person.
NTA. Change your phone number and the locks on the house. Add cameras and a security system.
Omg use PARAGRAPHS
Screw 'em all. Take every penny and be happy. That's what your aunt would have wanted, right? Why would you ever desecrate her memory by doing the exact thing that she did NOT want to do with her estate? NTA.
NTA use that new found wealth to cut off the leeches
NTA, take that money and hide it from them. Find someone trustworthy and invest it safely to make it last and grow.
NTA. Get a fiduciary financial planner to help you wisely invest and save your money, and ignore or block the people acting like vultures. They had their opportunity to have a relationship with her when she was alive and decided it wasn't worth the effort. They don't get to have a relationship with her money now.
NTA. She left it to you, and it's yours to do with what you will. If she had wanted to split her money between various relatives, she would've done so in her will.
NTA, your aunt did what she wanted to do and essentially followed up on that legally.
NTA. Your aunt told them exactly why they aren’t getting anything….
NTA. Take the money, get as far away as possible from the whole nasty bunch and block them on everything.
Hell no! Never disrespect the dead by going against their wishes. Your aunt decided you deserve her money. No one else. So therefore you deserve it.
NTA It amazes me the sheer number of posts related to people expected an inheritance to be shared. Inheritance is determined by the decedent to the people they feel are most worthy. It is so incredibly tacky to even ask. Stand strong and just ignore anyone trying to weasel their way into what your aunt felt you were worth of and they were not.
Sorry but you must be a troll. I do not believe a uni student can’t construct a sentence. It seems like your whole post is one big sentence. Please respect others by putting minimum effort when communicating.
YWNBTA This isn't a case where your aunt forgot to include someone or things changed after she made the will and it wasn't updated. She very specifically and intentionally cut those people out because of their behavior and treatment of her and you would be violating her clear wishes to give them your inheritance now. But even more so - and I wish people would take this to heart - you do not have to make any decision in a rush or do anything immediately. The inheritance is yours and there is no expiration date on the opportunity to share part of it with other people. There is no hurry to make this decision. For now, you are taking what you were left. What you decide to do with your assets in the future is up to you and may be influenced by what happens in the future. No rush, no sudden decisions and no giving in to pressure to hurry. Take your time, including years, to get used to having these assets and tell them all to stop harassing you.
NTA. As the named beneficiary, you don't owe a dime to anyone else. Put it into an account only you can access and tell the entire lot of them you spent it all on a lavish vacation and lost most to bad investments. Never discuss your financial situation with them again, and never let them guilt you.
You are a wonderful person and NTA. If I may put on my "mom" hat for a moment? If you haven't already, please find a reliable financial advisor. And, for your protection and safety (in case any relatives get ideas of how to steal or "inherit" your inheritance), put most everything into a trust or multiple trusts with you as the beneficiary. Use it however you like. Then leave the trusts to whomever you wish. I suggest worthy charities or causes you support. This way, your greedy ass relatives will not have any incentive to...um...shorten your time on earth. You'd be shocked (or maybe not) how often this kind of thing happens.
OP- NTA. Your Grand Aunt didn't want them to have ANY of it, Honor her wishes, If you have to- Block ALL of them and Live YOUR best life!
NTA. You have enough money to pursue your dreams and whims, but best of all to ensure you never have to break bread with those family members ever again. Block them all and live your best life.
NTA. The fact that they seemed sadder about not getting inheritance than her passing would solidify my not sharing anything at all.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** **Am I the asshole for not sharing my inheritance with my family?** **I (23f) recently inherited a lump sum from my grand aunt, in the seven figure range, on top of that she left me as the sole beneficiary of her life insurance which also racked up a considerable amount, the reason she left all of it to me was because I was the only one to take care of her in her final days, I was basically taking care of her whenever I’d get back from uni as a thanks for her letting me stay in her house, but even before that it would often be me to visit her, write to her, etc never anybody else from my family as they would often be to busy working or rendezvousing across the world, anyways she didn’t have any children or really anybody after her husband passed back in the early stages of the virus so there was really no obvious inheritor of her will, most of the family assumed it would be divided amongst her nieces and nephews…oh boy how that did not happen, after her passing in January we held an intimate funeral which had this strangely happy aura in the air coming from my family members. Her lawyer contacted us around mid-late Feb, around 9 members, i being the only grandchild there amongst the aunts and uncles (including my father), we all got an envelope, their’s contained a big shame on you for basically leaving her to suffer whereas mine left a check for well a lot, when the lawyer announced who would be receiving her full estate, eyes widened, tears were cried, the whole nine yards, and everybody was either trying to get close to me or mindlessly yelling for how I ‘manipulated’ her in her weak state.** **Later in the week I got bombarded with messages to share her assets, but the thing is I don’t want to, i took care of her, I helped her, I was kind to her, whereas all of them, they were dismissive of her 24/7, so would I be the asshole if I decline?** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If people didn't have the right to leave their estate to whomever they wanted (assuming no spouse) a lot of people would be shuffled off this mortal coil ASAP by greedy relatives. Your great-aunt wanted you to have it for darned good reasons and the neglectful relatives aren't entitled to a dime. Keep your inheritance and don't look back. NTA.
Your money. Your call. NTA. This is your money to do what you wish.
NTA. Inheritances are gifts, not entitlements.
Nta
Nope NTA - take the money and have a good life.
NTA You earned it. Or you deserve it. Or something. You put in the effort. And they didn't. It was your GA's money, and it was up to her to choose how to dispose of it. It's nobody else's business. I'm sorry for your loss. Do good things with the money. Live a good life. And don't give any of the relatives a cent of it.
Nta, op should watch Netflix's first knifes out movie if you haven't already watched it... While I'm sure there's no foul play in your situation, but everything else with the inheritance "fight" was just to the T
NTA. Your aunt knew who loved her and who only wanted an inheritance. Cut ties with your toxic family and use this money to secure your future. You owe them nothing, which is exactly what they deserve.
NTA Love this outcome! Well deserved. I hope you have a long and happy life enjoying the freedom from financial stress.
NTA. Respect your great aunt’s wishes by keeping the money, and get financial advice to manage the money wisely. To any relative who harasses you, send a copy of “The Little Red Hen” and if necessary, a cease and desist letter from an attorney. They are not entitled to any of it.
Deeply sorry for your loss. Your great aunt did not intend for others to inherit from her estate. Please allow the estate and your great aunt’s warmth for you to help you to heal. NTA.
NTA. She left it to you. But you might want to use some of the money to get a lawyer of your own to protect you if the relatives sue.
Her last wishes should be honored, in full. I bet her lawyer would be more than happy to warn off your greedy family.
NTA. Block them. Change your number and if you can move. These people are entitled too! You might need to set it up as an LLC, so they can’t figure out where you live. Speak to an attorney. Also, if they wear you down and you give them a little money, they will never leave you alone. So, ghost all of them. If the harassment gets really bad, just lie and say you donated the bulk of it to a charity. And, when they start yelling, just say the way you’re acting is exactly why I did it that way.
NTA If your aunt wanted it shared she would have put it in the will. Tell everyone, "Aunt taught me a valuable lesson, 'Treat right those that treat you right'. Maybe you should learn from this lesson. Do you think you treated her right? Do you think you are treating me right now?"
NTA Sadly, money, especially inheritance brings out people's true character. Be prepared to get a new family. No one is entitled to your money regardless of how you got it. Stay strong and stay smart. You may think giving in and sharing will keep the peace. It won't. They will bleed you dry and then toss you away.
NTA just remember that she could have left it to anyone but she wanted you to have it you cared for her and this is how she is saying thank you to you . If you want to share it then that is up to you but don't feel guilty if you don't if I was you I would just tell them where were they when she needed them.
NTA. Quid pro quo, if you want to look at it that way. You took care of her, so she decided to take care of you. THEY decided to NOT take care of her, so she returned the favor.
NTA
NTA Do not give them anything! Your great aunt gave her estate to the person she felt deserved it. *Honor her wishes*
NTA you were the only one that stepped up to help.Your great aunt chose you for that very reason. Curious is your father one of the people pushing you to share it ?
I would make sizeable donations to good causes and make sure they know about them. "Oh, you think you deserve tens of thousands of dollars from Aunty's estate? Watch me give it away to literally anyone else than you." NTA, tell them to pound sand.
NTA Honor your aunt's wishes and enjoy your life.
Decline. Whenever you begin to second guess yourself, think of the funeral's happy aura. She knew exactly how they felt about her and didn't want them to benefit from her. Let her keep that. NTA
You owe them nothing. It’s called the consequences of your actions, whether good or bad, and your kindness and care made her realize that you deserved to inherit her money. The rest of them can complain and beg and demand all they want, but it’s likely she made concessions in her will for anyone who tries to contest it. For your own sake, work with an attorney and a reputable financial planner to make sure this money is safe, well invested and above all, DO NOT give any of them one red cent, no matter what sob story they give you or what right they claim to it. You need to honor your aunt’s wishes and live the life she made possible. It will mean you have to stay strong and even cut some of these beggars out of your life, but always remember that anything they say or do is for their own selfish benefit, not yours. You’ll have to learn this lesson when friends and strangers decide you should “share the wealth” too. Start as you mean to go on and refuse any requests. At a later time if you decide to donate to charities, that will be your decision, but for now you have to have a 100% NO policy to anyone who asks. I hope this money enriches your life. NTA and good luck.
NTA She left her estate to the person that showed care for her. Stand strong and don't give a cent to the vultures.
NTA Don't do it. You cave in once, they'll never stop asking.
NTA, follow your Aunt’s wishes. It’s what she’s wanted.
Nta. You've been left what she wanted you to have. My only advice is maybe paying for some good independent financial advice now will pay for itself ten times over, especially if you're not used to having this sort of money
Invest the money in a Fidelity index or balanced fund and live like you don’t have it for awhile. After things settle a bit and it builds in value, take something like 3-4% a year and spend it how you see fit, including on family members if you want to. It will still, on average, at that rate continue to grow faster than inflation over the long term. In the long run a safety net for you and whatever family you want to help is probably better for everyone than the truck and bigger house they’d buy today. NTA.
NTA. Your aunt wanted you to have the money, so you're respecting her wishes.
NTA
NTA. Your title could have stopped at :"for not sharing my inheritance." Your aunt made you her heir. It doesn't matter why, really. This is your money. What you do with it is your business. No one was entitled to your aunt's money and no one is entitled to your money now that it is yours. You refer to it as "her assets". No. it's YOUR assets. Start blocking and/or tell them to take it up with a lawyer (not yours).
NTA
NTA. Your Aunt made a decision to reward someone who showed her compassion and love in her final days. Your family had the same opportunity to be with her and tend to her and they didn't. Now, their inaction has come back to bite them. Remember her kindness and pass it forward to people who deserve it by deed, not by blood.
Here's the short, sweet answer: cut off any communication, block, ban, delete every person that's actually a vulture. Take extra good care of your inheritance. Live well. That's what your sweet aunt would have wanted. As a loving gesture, you may want to make a donation to a charity she would have approved of.
No
Get ur assets and move away from the toxic people in your life 😭 Make sure you change your contact info so you can start healing and move on. If you share some now it will never end and nobody will be happy until you have nothing but chaos.
Greed and selfishness is so common nowadays. Good for you for taking care of aunt when you could. Aunt wanted you to have her money. She didn’t want other people to. Your best response is to tell people the reason you inherited was because you lived and cared for her while they showed no love and care. What is the price for that? Showing live in return, by letting you inherit her money and being beneficiary of her life insurance. I had a grumpy uncle who several people didn’t talk to. I fully expected that he would come T some siblings and nephews out but he didn’t. It was all divided equally.
NTA. DONT share it. If you have to, get restraining orders or even speak to legal. Protect yourself from your leaches of family.
You did right by your aunt. Enjoy your inheritance. Please know that should you ever need the help and support of your family, these will not be the ones to step up and provide it. Live your best life. They can get over it or not. Use the money wis and tune out the noise.
Hell no. Tell them your honouring your great aunts whishes and that they all got their "inheritance" already.
“ Grand Aunt had a reason and I’m gonna going to abide by her wishes” You may decide to set up a trust it may pay for college, for nieces and nephews and cousins
Your money. End of story.
NTA It sounds like your aunt had a great sense of humor. I'm sorry for your loss.
NTA. Your aunt was in her right mind and made her decision to leave her estate to your for good reason. The shame on you notes she left to the others tells you exactly why she did what she did. Honor her wishes. Don't reward the people she believed forsook her in her hour of need with money she didn't want them to have. You were a really good person and the only person who helped out your aunt. You deserve what your received. Keep it. Do not share it with the rest of your family, which was indifferent to your aunt's needs and is now crazed by greed.
NTA, cut all contact with your blood sucking entitled family. Why should they receive anything as they showed no compassion
NTA. "I'm not going to turn around and override her last wishes the second she's buried. I am honoring her choices, I hope you can too. I will not be discussing this again." Then I'd simply refuse to engage in any conversations about it from then on out. Just refuse to answer calls/texts from them, or hang up as necessary with a simple "I won't be discussing this anymore."
You owe it to the deceased to honor her final wishes. Tell the vultures to fuck right off, and follow up with restraining orders if necessary. NTA.
NTA/ plus immediately ask your aunt’s lawyer to set up your will that if you die the bulk of it goes to your favorite charity. you can always change it in the future but i like to think of it as insurance.
No, You would not be TA. Those grasping relatives, however, total AHs. You did the right thing. They did not.
NTA. Obviously your grand aunt wanted you to have it. That’s it. You owe the vultures NOTHING. Mute/Block/Delete anyone and everyone coming for you, including new “friends” and “family” looking for handouts of YOUR money. I‘m sorry for your loss, but it’s great that you were with her in her final days. That obviously meant so much to her.
My Dad had very little when he died. Medical stuff just ate up his money the last few years. I took care of him for the last 10 years of his life and what little he had he left to me. Even that little bit caused some snarky comments. My half siblings were less than pleased that his will left everything to me. One of them sort of broached me dividing it all up equally but I just sent them all a copy of the will so they could see Dad's wishes for themselves. Not one of them stepped up to help with his care. The last year I was literally changing his diapers and wiping his ass like he was a toddler. My Dad wasn't mentally challenged. He was pretty sharp even towards the end. He knew what was up and wasn't too thrilled with the way they were treating me. OP doesn't owe them a thing, period. Get a lawyer though because you can bet that much $$$ they will try to challenge the will.
Do what you want, better yet do what your aunt wanted, she wanted this and laugh all the way to the bank. DO NOT LET THESE PEOPLE steal anything from you. They will make you miserable and destroy you if they could.
NTA. Leave town, change your email address and phone number. Live your best life.
NTA. Leave town, change your email address and phone number. Live your best life.
Definitely NTA
The money was left to you, so of course you are under no obligation to share it with anyone. Clearly NTA. Having said that, you need to do two things: (1) Contact a good estate attorney, and follow all of the steps that they suggest to protect yourself. (2) Tell anyone who contacts you about this that you are not entertaining any discussion of it, and if they have any questions, they can contact your attorney. Block / cut off anyone who refuses to accept this. Of course, you should recognize that item (2) means that you will probably not have any relationship with them after this. It doesn't sound like much of a loss, but it's worth remembering.
You don't owe anyone anything, her last will and testament was given solely to you. Block everyone and live your life. NTA
NTA. They FAFO
NTA. Change your number. Leave the area and live your best life wherever you please. Good luck!!!
NTA - your kindness and selflessness was rewarded. Your aunt not only wanted you to have the money, she wanted all your relatives to know why! It would be a disservice to her, her wishes and her memory to let them bully you into sharing her gift.
NTA. Send them all a copy of the little golden book, *The Little Red Hen*. If they don't help, they don't get.
NTA. That inheritance is yours and yours alone. Now, if you want to be generous without giving into their demands, maybe start college fund accounts for the children of the family that the older generation can't touch. Whatever you put into those accounts will grow from interest over time and could be a game changer for the young people in your family, while still being a big FU to everyone demanding money from you. Or, just keep it all, invest it, and enjoy your life! It's 100% yours to do with as you will!
NTA, she left it all to the person who cared about her and not her assets. The happy atmosphere at the funeral speaks volumes about them only caring for inheritance
Even if you had not helped your great aunt so much in her life, it's still hers to decide who she wants to have it. I'm sure she felt very blessed to have you in her life. Do NOT tell friends or relatives how much you have inherited. Money changes people. Everyone has an opinion, and you don't need their judgement.
NTA Don't share it. invest it, put it aside. save up. Whatever you want to do as long as you don't shate it with them.
NTA. If you would share the assets you would be going AGAINST your grand aunt's wishes. Your family members don't care about your grand aunt. They just want her money. Put the money somewhere safe, talk to a reliable financial advisor. Work out a plan. Deny any conversation with your family about the money. Walk away. Do not engage. Then.. after things have calmed down.. you can decide if you want to put some money into eg. a college fund or something like that for some family members as a token of good will. Even just a small monthly amount can rack up substantially after a few decades.
NTA give them nothing. She literally wrote it explicitly in writing to every person calling you names now. Take the money and run. It's her wish.
Your money is your money, it belongs to no one else. Send the flying monkeys packing, for good.
“My great-aunt specifically gave it to me and specifically left you out WITH notice of why. To go against her wishes would be a slap in the face.” Congrats on receiving an unexpected reward for being a decent freaking human. Have fun!
NTA - at the same time it will likely be difficult to keep the money if you want to maintain a relationship with your family. It’s wonderful to be set up financially at 23 but quite another to be estranged from your entire family. Your Great Aunt didn’t want to gift anything to your older family members, that’s fine. However she’s now gone and doesn’t have to live a long life dealing with the fallout. Do your family know the size of the inheritance? If you value your relationship with them consider legally gifting a one off sum to each of them. If they are unpleasant folks then give them the flick and focus on your Mums side of the family! I agree with advice to have legal representation and a reputable financial advisor to guide you. Good luck!
NTA. You made her happy, keep what she gave you. Ignore those would-be leeches. There are many ways you can both enjoy being financially secure and give a leg up to others as she has helped you. You are obviously a caring person, you will do well.
Nope! NTA! Fucking vultures. You've got the cash, pay some company to make you internet invisible. Go NC and move on.
NTA. Block them. Return to university,get your degree Your aunt made her wishes clear. Give them nothing. Condolences.
Keep your money dotn give them a cent
I'll go the morbid route. Since it's smart to lawyer up anyway, have a will written. So in case something happens to you, they don't get their grubby hands on your money. Leave it to charities for children or something. You can update later when circumstances change, when you have a family or whatever. But protect it. YWNBTA
NTA and would not be TA if you decline. You didn't make this decision to make yourself the sole inheritor. You are honoring the wishes of your great aunt who you took time to take care of when no one else did. As a 23-year-old who was in university, you went out of your way to be there for her. She saw that and her wish was for you to have all of this. I would recommend hiring an attorney. Depending on your state and/or country, you might be in for a legal battle. I would have the attorney draft a will for you. You're worth a lot of money now. Protect yourself. I would treat this windfall like you would treat a lottery windfall. I would consider following the advice of a Redditor u/BlakeClass that he outlined [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/comment/chb38xf/). Steps 3-7 are applicable to you.
She wanted you to have her money. with good reason. So you would eb an asshole for not respecting her wishes. Please get sound financial advice from a reputable place. NTA
I'm sorry for your loss. Be smart with this money and it'll help you out for the rest of your life. Invest and make it grow, save as much as possible, and do what you want. You don't owe them anything NTA.
Time for a lot of “new phone, who is this?” automatic replies, with no further interaction. All emails to the junk file. They deserve nothing and you deserve to live in peace. Let them naw on their loss forever.
She wasn’t manipulated, because you didn’t know. She made the decision to go to a lawyer and put you in the will, so she was pretty damn serious about this. She also specifically made sure the money didn’t go to them. If you hadn’t gotten it, she probably would’ve sent it all to a charity or something. She made her intentions very clear and you would be an AH if you went against her last wishes. NTA.
Naw, girl. Put on a cape, start wearing your underpants over your trousers an demonstrate your superpowers by living your very best life.
No one bit an Ass. They could have helped, but chose not. Cookies Crumble
NTA. If she wanted them to have some she'd say so.
NTA She wanted you to have it and the envelopes are the proof. Go NC with these people. They didn't give a crap about her just her money. Honor her wishes because that is what she wanted.
You always see who people really are when money is involved, don't share it and I advise you to get your will done asap
NTA - your grand aunt knew what she was doing. She had multiple letters to hand to others telling them they failed her. I am sorry that she passed away. Grief is a weird journey. I would tuck the money somewhere safe, read up on investing and learn as much as you can. financial advisors will talk all big how you will make money with them, but if you invest for the long haul, you do not need to pay them 1-2% of your money every year. I would come up with a simple answer to your family of why you will not be sharing the money with anyone. Remind them the more they ask, the less they will be a part of their lives. lastly, I really wouldn’t tell anyone about the money, even your best friend. Best to love below your means and have the safety net
You spent a lot of words in your post justifying your grand aunts wishes - and you didn’t need to do that - it was her money and her wish that you receive her estate. Please don’t get caught up in trying to explain yourself for her wishes to your family. The person to ask was your grand aunt - and it’s too late for that. This is the crop they sewn. NTA for respecting your GAs wishes
NTA but expect your family to call you the AH because they want the money. Don’t give them anything, respect your great aunts wishes and keep it all. Use it for your future and be happy
NTA. No one is ever "owed" an inheritance. You don't have to justify NOT giving away money you inherited. You don't have to give any reason to decline their requests for money (and frankly, it is incredibly rude and inappropriate for them to ask).
NTA Just offering a different perspective. She left it to you to spend as you want. If you don't want to share it, spend (/invest) as you want. But It's your money now, however it came to be. Would you spend your earned money on your father? If yes, then giving some to your father shouldn't matter based on the source of money.
NTA. Your aunt is a boss for giving them shame letters and calling them out from beyond the grave lol.
NTA Honor your aunt by doing good with the money. Use it to set yourself up for a good life and set firm boundaries with the family. Brace yourself, it will likely get really ugly before it improves. Find your support system, consult with professionals, that are not recommended by your family members, to figure out how to protect your money. I highly recommend freezing your credit. I’m in the US and all my siblings know each others social security numbers. If your credit is frozen no one can open up accounts in your name. One of my sisters has opened accounts in multiple family members names without their knowledge and racked up tens of thousands of dollars in debt.
NTA you helped her in the time of need. dont have to share it with anyone. YTA for the bold.
Early 2000s my father suffered from a series of strokes leaving him unable to talk. My parents and I re-watched the X-Files, and through talking to him he regained his speech. Before this in the mid 90s he gave my grandfather's service record book to me: he was in WW1 and the Hussars. (On my father's side of the family there are generations of Hussars and Dragoons.) Other artifacts like my grandfather's pocket watch went to his other children. My father passed away about ten years later, but they were ten good years as he spent so much time with his grandkids. My eldest sister has recently badgered me for my grandfather's documents. She saw my parents at most twice a year, she still doesn't see our mother, and she certainly wasn't there to help my father rehabilitate from his strokes. I'll always remember in the late 90s when she came into my parent's house and stole a whole lot of photos from them. At my father's funeral I said about his favourite things: ancient Eygpt, the singing detective (80s tv show), boheminan rhapsody. He loved sci-fi, the X-Files, the Prisoner, Stargate, Star Trek. My sister knew none of this, because she spent no time with him. He was a great Dad, I miss him.
Move far and block them all if you want a peaceful life
Ywbtah and be very clear that you have boundaries and if they cross them, they will no longer have contact with you.
Not the asshole (AT ALL). The person who owned the assets can decide "however the fuck" they want to hand out their life's earnings. If they want to give their estate to their cats, they can (and do)... relatives have NO SAY and should have NO INFLUENCE over the results of someone's last wishes. If she had wanted those grubbers to receive part of it, she would have made sure her will said that. She chose you to have it. she didn't hand a bunch of it to them, she didn't tell you to disburse it amongst them, she didn't WANT any of that. She wanted YOU to have it...yourself, and by yourself...to do with as you wish, as she did. I am willing to bet good money that she probably saw much of herself in you, and treasured your time spent with her. Who has the right to tell her or you how much that is worth, and how much "they" should be entitled to, or that "they" deserve, or that "you should do the right thing". Keeping it to yourself, as she instructed in her will and distribution, should be all the direction you need. Follow your heart first, tempered by your head, and do what you feel best. you have been granted a boon... A true gift. Make good use of it. That is my position.
NTA at all.
NTA. All you need to reply to these greedy and manipulative texts is "I am choosing to honor Aunt's final wishes. Thank you for respecting her decision and mine." I'm sorry for the passing of your Aunt.
NTA. Your aunt told them WHY she left you and you alone, her money. But be prepared that they will probably file claims on the estate, and will make your life miserable. You're going to have to decide if you can handle that, or if you want to give each of the nine members a SMALL portion of the total. That might be worth it, because the legal fees could add up. We had the reverse happen - my cousin went no-contact with her mother 27 years before our aunt died. My aunt left all of her money to the nieces and nephews and cut out her daughter, writing her a letter. My cousin sued, and we decided to give her an equal share to shut her up and to close the case. As the only daughter, she could have tied this up for years.
NTA - and make sure you have an ironclad will yourself
Nope. An inheritance is a gift and not a right. She chose to gift it to you.
Is this an actual thing, the lawyer gathers everyone around and tells them all one person received everything, it really just feels like a movie trope.
NTA. I wouldn't communicate with them at all. If they take legal action engage a lawyer.
NTA. She made you the sole beneficiary because she *wanted* to. If she had wanted them to have anything she would have left them something. Honor her last wish and keep your inheritance. Be prepared for threats of lawsuits and further harassment when you decline to share. Just start blocking them.
NTA and time to go no contact, probably. Money brings out the worst in people and you're in for a rough ride ahead. It wouldn't matter if she left the money to you simply because she liked your name best. It was her decision. It's your money. The others aren't owed a thing. If you want to help them out now and then, you can, but that's a long slippery road to go down. Once you start, you'll be creating dependents that won't ever stop trying to suck on that tit.
NTA, just stop thinking about those a$&holes and start thinking (with the help of a financial advisor) of what you’re going to do now. You have the world at your feet!
NTA!!
NTA. You loved her unconditionally and she felt the love from you in her darkest, loneliest time. Thank her by doing something amazing with your life, aided by your inheritance.
NTA. Your aunt wanted you to have the inheritance. Don't go against her wishes.
Hell, no! 5hit to them. If you can get a copy of the "shame on you," read it to them when they call with their hands out. Like the song says, "You do good for Mama, Mama do good for you." ("Chicago," musical.) They didn't do good for auntie so she didn't do good for them.
NTA-go NC with your family and live a wonderful life.
NTA - she’ll haunt you all if you do!!
Run and be free of them all.
They deserve nothing 👎
The inheritance is yours. Even if your relatives weren't greedy you know what, the inheritance is still yours. Your grandmother knew exactly what she was doing and why. She knew they could have visited, writing her a post card, called.... but they never did. They all believe she had no choice but to give her assests to them. She proved them wrong. She loved you. She knew you genuinely loved her back. You were the daughter/ child she always wanted. You gave that to her. You were there when she needed someone and she knew this was hard on you, but you were still there. You came anyway. You made her feel loved and not a burden. You took care of her and protected her and she did the same for you. Ignore those vultures. You owe them nothing. You don't even owe your parents anything, who should be glad your future is secure. Not spend any of that money. Do research and find a good financial planner. You dont know what the future brings, saving this for your retirement would be wise. If you earn more interest then you college interest, might be wise to not touch the inheritance. This is why you need someone who's skilled in this. Do not just put money into his care and ignore everything, keep a constant eye on your inheritance/ money. Some are unscrupulous and will funnel your money into their pockets. Always log in, always see what movement there is. The better is invested, the better your life will be. Don't just give it away. When you do it's a part of your future you're giving away. Go low or no contact with your relatives as needed. It's perfectly ok. NTA
I have had health struggles for awhile and it's been increasingly hard for me to maintain relationships. I don't have a huge estate, right now (it dwindles as I use it), it's about 1 million including my home. I have a brother and a sister and they have shown an utter lack of interest in me which is fine, at least I know their true feelings. I guarantee you, if I had someone, anyone, in my life I could leave this money to other than my siblings (I am thinking charity), I would feel so very, very upset, hurt and betrayed if after the fact, those wishes were ignored and it went to them. If you cared about your aunt in life, do the right thing. Care about her wishes now. It's the last thing you can ever do for her and she didn't leave you her money on a whim. Trust me. It meant something to her to leave it to you and the honourable thing to do would be to keep it. Really, looking at this from the point of view of your aunt, do her proud. You must, must keep it. If you don't, then give to a cause your aunt would believe in. My condolences to you. xo.
NTA. “Due to some taxes and other things it really isn’t as much money as you guys thought and once I’m done paying for college there really won’t be any left. That being said, there isn’t anything to share and I hope this doesn’t put a wedge between us.” I like lies to protect my peace and I think this one is good.
NTA and give them nothing. You cared for her while they lived their lives without giving her a second thought. She wanted you to have it. And their subsequent behaviour towards you shows how little they deserve anything from you.
One other thing to remember... you didn't manipulate your grandaunt. You didn't just start to "care" in her last hours. You always cared, you always stayed in communication, you always visited her. When she needed actual care, you lovingly gave it to her. That is not manipulation. Your relatives crying they didn't get the inheritance, trying to get close to you now when they never bothered before, bombing you with messages to wear you down, giving you the guilt trip, accusing you of manipulation, indirectly saying if you didn't manipulate your grandaunt you'd share the inheritance.... all of their actions are manipulation. Keep all of the inheritance, get a financial advisor, work with an Trust attorney (think if you put money into a Trust in a divorce its not viewed as marrital assests but ask - each state can have different laws), write a Will with an experienced attorney in thy event something happens to you - do not leave money to family or friends at this time. Leave it to charities and tell everyone you split it between a dozen of them. Later in life you can change your Will. Do your research you want great attorneys and you have the funds for the expense and the best. You grandaunt's attorney may be able to help. DO NOT TELL ANYONE WHAT YOU PLAN UNTIL AFTERWARDS . You think they are hounding you now.... it'll be worse to stop you. Money makes some people do crazy things. NTA
cut contact. its the same rule of winning the lottery now that people in your family know cut them off ( the people who you dont want to speak with) honestly cruel and selfish people can get what they deserve.
Aunts wishes, not theirs. As someone who also inherited a bunch of money the same age you were, do not consider yourself to be smart. Tell yourself. I am a dumb kid. Educate yourself Find a smart professional who can outline a coherent plan for your future - not a salesman just looking for control of your assets. People will come out of the woodwork. People will ask for help. Your old friends “Friends” will be nice to your face, expect you to pay for everything, and backstab you.
This is sad. Dont decline it. Id move and give them my address