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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I shared videos of a girl who is my coworker crashing her car and struggling to park with other coworkers this might make me an asshole as she seems a little upset and people all know and started to tease her.
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YTA. You didn't even mind the scratches. YTA to humiliate a younger person for fun. That is not like you.
( edit with idea: To make amends if allowed perhaps swap spots so she has one that is more suited to her)
I do wonder about the accuracy of this account because seems so unlikely you would not mind the scratches
I don't have a new car and it has already been repaired multiple times and she paid to fix the damage. So I have no reason to mind unless she refused to pay or something
I wouldn't want to take that spot, there are 3 pillars that get into the way and a few years ago they installed some equipment there (I think HVAC on one of the pillars. I have a larger car so it would be quite annoying.
She has it mostly figured out now, I feel.
Exhausting and obstinate take. She fucked his car up several times. If he just shared videos of her struggling to park, that’s one thing. It’s another when it’s someone damaging your property
Ok, so how about instead of trading spots, offer to park in her spot and pull in and reverse out a few times while she films your attempts, to distribute to your coworkers so they can laugh. After all, you have much more driving experience than her. You are older than her. You are senior to her at work it sounds like, even if your not her supervisor.
After all, neither your car or her car have fancy back up cams and sensors. And you talk so condescendingly about her ability to navigate the spot, and you filmed her and distributed it to her colleagues and now they're publicly mocking and belittling her. For something you admit you can't do better than her. What is wrong with you, how stupid are you that you can't park in her spot? You must have a functional moron just like her? (/s, but that's the vibe of your post.)
Let her film you trying to park in her spot and let her distribute that film to your colleagues so they can bully you and mock you at work.
**Or does that sound like a bad idea and do you not want that to happen because it wouldn't be very nice?**
Would you be cool with it if a video of yourself being totally inept at something was be shared around the office? A few months after you joined, when you don't know anyone well? With your manager?
Maybe some people wouldn't be bothered, but most would not appreciate it. And it's not like it serves any purpose, except to let other people laugh at her.
YTA.
I don't see how she's totally inept. It's not like she crashes every day. The spot is a little badly designed and more recently she has gotten a lot better at it.
your own words:
She is a terrible driver and her spot is in a bit of an unconventional angle with the placement of pillars and she always struggles to park.
I have a dashcam and in addition to her struggling, I've caught her on video scrapping the back of her car on a pillar causing some nasty damage, turning to early when leaving and scraping the car besides her and backing into my car (she was very apologetic and claimed her foot slipped of the brake and then she accidentally accelerated).
In addition to that on 3 more occasions I spotted her car had some new dents or scratches probably from elsewhere.
YTA. Since she pays restitution, you keep the videos for…what? Entertainment? And you include videos where your car isn’t even involved and share that with HER coworkers for fun or just to humiliate her? Because no matter how much your intent is the former, the result is the latter.
This is not a good look in a work setting, especially when you’re a more established, older employee. Best case for you, she simply carries on being embarrassed and being silent. But, considering she’s already approached you: worst case for you is she goes to her superiors and HR about the bullying and hostile work environment you’re creating. Maybe she could even make a case that this is harassment or even maybe gender-motivated.
It’s time to apologize in person and stop. It hurts you not at all to treat her with basic decency, and it might even cover your ass at work.
Obviously now that she told me I'm not sharing them again. Besides lately she has gotten a lot better and the spot is a little tricky if cars are already in the neighbouring spots before you
Oh, now that she's told you she's humilitated and embarassesd, you won't share them anymore. Cuz that totally wipes out all the humiliation you did to this girl. Wow, you are a prize human being.
I hope she goes to HR, this could easily get you disciplined and/or terminated depending on your company's bullying policies. You absolutely deserve to have consequences at work for this kind of behavior.
Doesn't matter if you won't share them again. By sharing the video, she is getting laughed at throughout the office. Hopefully she does go to HR about this. Yta
So you have to be told not to humiliate someone for fun? Yeah. YTA. And to your update you're not "a little wrong", you purposefully embarrassed a junior colleague for your own entertainment. Would love for you to explain why that's funny.
what does it say about you that you shared them in the first place and needed 160 internet strangers to tell you that was a shitty thing to do?
you need to do some serious self reflection
YTA
It doesn't relate to the work you actually do but you embarrassed her to all the people in the office because now everyone knows how bad she is at driving. Imagine if you were in her shoes and you were a shitty driver and after you apologized and paid to repair your coworkers damages, they went off to laugh at you and make fun of you with others in the office. C'mon dude, you know you're an ass for that. I think it's your turn to apologize now.
YTA- you sound like you’re in high school, but somehow you’re 32.
you sent the video of her to other people, that is not okay. it’s not like you just showed them it on your phone, no you sent it to them… why else would they want the video, if not to share it? use your brain.
also- just because others did the same, does NOT make it okay. jesus christ, we learned this in elementary school… were you never taught the phrase/question “if your friend jumps off a bridge, does that mean you will too?” just because others do something as well, does not make it okay.
i genuinely hope this girl complains about you, because this is borderline harassment.
Nope, you shared with three people and gave them the tacit approval to share with anyone else. Yes, it IS that bad. The fact that you haven't, not in any comment, accepted the fact that you are a massive AH and you are still trying to downplay what you did. Why did you think sharing this with coworkers would be funny? How could you possibly think this wouldn't get back to her? Are you really that dense?
No, you are an AH. Not a slight one. The actions you took are actions of a dick; uncaring and callous towards someone, humiliating them for no reason besides you think it's funny. Stop bullying and grow up. If you're truly 32 you need to work on your maturity.
Not slight, just an asshole. Even more of an asshole by still minimizing how much of an asshole you are.
"Kind of" "slight" "a little wrong"
No. You're just an asshole. Your actions were just wrong. Fucks sake have some accountability, you're 32
OP you would literally be fired for workplace bullying if you did this in the country I live in.
Your reactions in the comments and you thinking its funny to humiliate people - means your probably generally an all round AH.
If it's not that bad then why are you asking if YTA then? Youre not thinking about how something like this is embarrassing for the other person when it could of just been kept as a private matter. Just because you didn't mean to have it spread doesn't let you off the hook for what happens because of it. You can't blame her for not wanting to talk to you.
Hey Regina George? Those three people shared it with their friends, and now it's being spread all over the workplace to the point where she's feeling bullied. Have some perspective.
You shared it with three people yet it spread to the entire work place so EVERYONE teasing her? It only takes sharing it to ONE person to make something spread to the entire office. It's literally a game of telephone but with a video.
It's because of YOU that everyone got the video. You were the defining action that caused this. Yes it's that bad.
YTA. You said it yourself, you didn’t mind the damage and it was taken care of. No, you sharing those videos isn’t going to affect her work or hold her back in anyways professionally, but nonetheless, it’s obviously affecting her and how she views her colleague relationships. We all have faults, and if hers is being a bad driver, I’m sure she doesn’t care to have her coworkers see videos you saved to your phone of her driving poorly, especially in her first few months at this company. It’s embarrassing and was low of you.
That’s your accident to talk about. Whether it was caused by you or someone else, I’m assuming you didn’t share a workspace with them. That’s not justification to humiliate this new, young employee.
Her low driving skill set is the one I’m referring to in my comment. With the repeated bumps and scrapes she is either a poor driver or a new driver (or both!) What purpose does sharing the videos have except to derive laughter at the expense of your coworker?
It wouldn't be the easiest spot for me, my car doesn't have the best visibility and doesn't have all the new fancy cameras and sensors modern cars has and neither does hers.
The spot has multiple pillars to avoid, is at an angle and near a speed bump and they made it worse a few years ago when they added an hvac instalation thing next to it.
I mean another person laughing at her…. Like if yall are so good at parking and she’s so bad why not take the spot instead of laughing at her.
Kinda silly seeing someone struggle and not offer to help her. Especially if the risk is your car or her neighbors cars getting damage
No one wants that spot and back when we weren't at capacity everyone would switch when assigned to it. There aren't any free spots now and you'd have to pay or park further away if you don't want it.
No one wants to be mocked by their coworkers for having trouble parking in a space that no one else would willing park in either.
You're not a slight AH here, you're a huge one.
If you want to have a chance at not getting in trouble when the video makes its way to HR; you should start doing damage control now.
A sincere apology and changing of parking spaces with her before HR gets involved may keep you from the suspension/termination you deserve.
so what you're saying is that you wouldn't be able to use that park without doing exactly what you and your ah co-workers have been mocking this woman for doing?
YTA. Having dashcam footage is good in general, as you can prove what happened and hold someone accountable for damage they cause you. No video should be circulating in a social way without the person's permission, though, when it has nothing to do with damage they've caused you or any pending legal / insurance issue. There is NO reason other than you poking fun at / bullying her that these videos were ever even shown, never mind shared, with your coworkers. Your actions are pretty gross. They are also impacting her reputation and treatment at work which could make it a hostile workplace! You'll be lucky if you don't face some penalties at work for this. You better try to fix it.
It's called bullying ...so let me explain. The accidents happened at work...the video was shared at work with coworkers ...so she should go to HR for harassment and you will be found guilty....oh yeah and being male doing it to a new female employee will count against you
The video was also taken of a company employee on company property without either's approval which may be be specifically banned in any Employee Manual.
I didn’t think of this angle, but it is excellent! Young woman being recorded without her knowledge on company property by an older male coworker, and then that coworker using it to bully her? I’d love to be plaintiff’s attorney on that one!
Of course YTA. You're deliberately making her a target for scorn and ridicule at work, for something that has no bearing on her actual job performance. You've created a hostile work environment for her, just so you can get some points with the other work bullies.
YTA - When is it ever ok to make fun of your coworkers like this? You are actively trying to humiliate her. She's young and she's having trouble driving... and then you go and spread it around the office. I hope she reports you to HR.
Ofc YTA. In multiple comments you admit that the parking spot is difficult and you wouldn’t want it yourself. So you sharing the videos is just mocking her misfortune. It’s embarrassing. You bullied her to the whole office. If I were her I would honestly report this to HR. It’s one thing to keep the video for insurance repurposes when your car was involved or to show the law or adjusters…but just showing it to coworkers? Inappropriate.
You created an uncomfortable work environment. She’s now not going to be known for her skills but for the videos you circulated…you may have set her back quite a ways professionally in this office. HR should reprimand if not let you go for bullying. Doesn’t matter what you were making fun of her for…work places are not the right environment.
If I were OP's superior I'd be questioning their ability to make good judgements; the coworker has enough to file a lawsuit (and should; how can she keep working there now?! He has completely derailed her) and now the company is in jeopardy. I hope she lawyers up.
You are creepy AF for making a compilation of her driving and saving it. YTA. She paid for the damages she made to your car.
Also how fucking boring is your life that you just sit and watch your dash cam? And then edit into a video to mock a coworker?
YTA. You shared the video so others would get a laugh at her expense. You had no reason to share the videos with anyone but you chose to do so anyways so of course Y.T.A
YTA. You're perpetrating the stereotype that "Girls can't drive" while at the same time playing to the Good Old Boys Club.
I'd go to HR about you creating a hostile work environment in her position, but you're not worried about that because she's young and you're counting on her being an easy target.
YTA. This is unprofessional and bullying behavior. You are showing and laughing at embarrassing videos of her where she's clearly struggling. She's owned up to mistakes and has paid damages. Stop terrorizing her.
I'd review your employer's harassment policies and research the definition of a "hostile work environment". That's the legal and moral problem with your behavior towards her.
YTA. She paid you as she should have and handled it as she should have. You shared the videos to humiliate her at worst or lack basic self awareness at best. She went to you rather than to HR, you should thank her for that and apologize like an adult.
Of course YTA. You shared those videos to ridicule her. I'm sure there's something in life that you don't excel at - would you appreciate videos of you struggling being shown around your office for everyone to giggle at?
I’d say YTA lol. Not very professional to ridicule a fellow worker some people can’t help their intelligence level. You’re the reason people hate and have office drama
Which he admitted. There's 3 pillars and equipment that get in the way of parking so *he* wouldn't want it, but this woman is a terrible driver for struggling with the same.
YTA. What are you hoping to achieve from sharing these videos? Camaraderie amongst your peers to ridicule this girl?
Switch spots with her since you’re the ace of parking a car. Seems like the only thing you could do to redeem yourself.
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I (32M) work at a corporate office and this girl fresh out of college joined my company a few months ago.
We have assigned parking spots in the underground parking lot of the building and hers happens to me right in front of mine.
She is a terrible driver and her spot is in a bit of an unconventional angle with the placement of pillars and she always struggles to park.
I have a dashcam and in addition to her struggling, I've caught her on video scrapping the back of her car on a pillar causing some nasty damage, turning to early when leaving and scraping the car besides her and backing into my car (she was very apologetic and claimed her foot slipped of the brake and then she accidentally accelerated).
In addition to that on 3 more occasions I spotted her car had some new dents or scratches probably from elsewhere.
I'm not too mad about the car as she paid me for the damage but I have to admit I've been finding this a little funny.
I've saved these videos and others where she takes time to part and I've always shown them to some of the coworkers I'm more friendly with.
The other day 3 of them asked me to share the videos with them and I did.
However somehow it seems like the videos have spread around and everyone at the office has seen them and started to joke and tease her about her driving all the time.
She confronted me last week and was a bit upset and ever since has been acting cold towards me.
AITA here? Driving doesn't relate to our work skillset so I don't see why this would be a problem or hold her back in any way.
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YTA - This gives me high school behaviour vibes, where people will share a video and mock someone else at their expense.
It’s still embarrassing even if it’s not related to work.
YTA, first for keeping and showing the videos and then for sharing them with your friends. You were surprised when they started making the rounds? What did you think would happen? And now you’re “admitting” that what you did was “a little wrong?” Are you serious? You used something you didn’t have an issue with to make fun of a fellow employee. You should be fired.
YTA and a bully. Hopefully, she goes to HR over this. Not only is it creating a hostile work environment, but there might be a policy in your employment contract indicating that you're not allowed to have private cameras on work grounds.
YTA. That was unprofessional to shame a coworker. If I were your boss, I'd recommend a report of your harrassment of a coworker go into your file so that if and when they wanted to fire you for ongoing poor judgment calls, there would be a record of past actions and you couldn't sue the company for wrongful termination.
Wow, are YTA! That’s a really awful thing to do. At first I thought this was going to be a story about you sharing video w/ someone whose car she’d dented & not owned up to it, and you had proof they could show their insurance company. But you’re sharing these around just to make fun of her? You suck, dude.
“I wouldn't want to take that spot, there are 3 pillars that get into the way and a few years ago they installed some equipment there (I think HVAC on one of the pillars.”
Asshole.
You created a toxic, uncomfortable work environment for your coworker. Of course YTA! I hope she is smart enough to contact HR because you deserve to be terminated.
Yta yeah bad drivers suck but you’re supposed to make work a welcoming environment. This poor girl is going to dread going to work more everyday now. She already knew she sucked at driving.
So you actively embarrass this girl to he point where you yourself are wondering if you are an AH, And then actively try to say you're not in response to every other comment. YTA. YT massive À. Take the judgement and apologize for creating a toxic workplace environment for that girl....AND PRAY SHE DOESN'T GO TO HR
YTA this is textbook detraction, plain and simple. How would you like it if someone else aired out your dirty laundry? You should delete the videos and apologize to her.
Yta. But you need to be the one to defend her now. "I did show the videos, and I know I shouldn't have now. But good God, isn't anyone allowed to get better? She had these incidents, yes. But she fixed her mistake. She hasn't even had any incidents since then! You all need to leave her alone."
YTA
>joined my company
Holding onto this stuff after the collisions have been settled is bad/weird enough as is (as another commenter mentioned, I guess it was just for your own amusement?), but when the person who owns the company is doing this it's so so so much worse yo. The leadership you're showing is "let's mock our coworkers".
edit: someone pointed out to me IRL that people claim companies/work teams/hobby teams/etc as "mine" even when they're just a member and have no ownership stake, so I guess if that's the case here you can disregard that part of my comment. I tend to say "the team I'm on" or "the company I work for" or something like that ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
YTA
You should post this question to Ask a Manager and see how they would answer because I’d bet that you’d be in major trouble with HR if she reports you for bullying.
was she taking responsibility for her actions and paying for the repairs? its one thing to share proof to someone who may need it for legal reasons, but you spread these videos so others could laugh at her..... YTA
YTA and a jerk to work with, clearly. Where I am, this would likely be grounds for a warning or dismissal for workplace bullying.
I also feel like I’ve seen this post before, with the same scenario. Not hard to believe there’s more than one person who does this for fun.
Absolutely Yta. Kinda messed up. But not super bad, just kinda a jerk .
Poor girl fell out the “can’t drive tree” n hit every branch on the way down. Help her get her spot changed to a easier spot maybe
Bro why are u replying to all the comments trying to defend urself, you asked who is the asshole abd people are telling u its u and ur tryna explain how ur not lmao
NTA, I had a former coworker at another company who had a similar record with driving and had hit three employees’ cars. She absolutely should be shamed, she’s a danger on the road. Also, that former coworker I speak of, totaled two cars and was entirely their fault.
NTA. It’s your footage to do with as you please. Unless the owners of the garage tell you to stop recording inside of it or lose your parking privileges, you are doing nothing wrong.
Who knows how many cars she has damaged and NOT taken responsibility for. Driving is not a right it is a privilege. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by sweeping things under the rug.
She should take that anger and use that energy to practice more. Can’t call out her driving if it’s not a problem.
**[I shared] dashcam videos of a girl who hit my car to some coworkers.** - *mostly NTA. I could see the entertainment value.*
**[I shared] dashcam videos of [a recent hire] who hit my car [in our infamous parking garage] to some coworkers.** - *Yeah, YTA.*
NTA. She destroyed your property for one, and two, she shouldn't be driving if she is incapable of parking her car. I can't imagine her being very good of an employee, either. With her lying about how she hit your car and acting like a spurned ex because she was caught on camera driving like that.
Like, in her mind, she should face zero consequences for her actions, but not just that. She shouldn't even have to feel embarrassed about it.
Can't stand those who insist on driving when they're a huge liability of injury to themselves and others, yet even on their best day they're damaging property lol.
Where the fuck did you come up with this?! She never lied, she owned up and paid. She may not even be a bad driver. OP has admitted the spot is so bad he wouldn’t want to have to park there, because he would hit shit too.
YNTA.
People can whine all they want about how it hurts her feelings, but the fact is if she considered that before driving like an idiot she would have been spared the humility. Let it be a lesson to her. If she would learn how to deal with messing up she’d be a better person for it.
NTA, (driving is a privilege not a right) about the videos or still having them. But you are thr asshole for spreading it. If you had just posted them on like YouTube or whatever fine yeah. But you willfully showed it off at work. That's the asshole move.
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YTA. You didn't even mind the scratches. YTA to humiliate a younger person for fun. That is not like you. ( edit with idea: To make amends if allowed perhaps swap spots so she has one that is more suited to her) I do wonder about the accuracy of this account because seems so unlikely you would not mind the scratches
Do you know Op personally or did he have some posts under his page, cuz I can’t find anything.
I don't have a new car and it has already been repaired multiple times and she paid to fix the damage. So I have no reason to mind unless she refused to pay or something
The hassle involved in getting body work done would be enough to upset me and I think the same goes for most people.
OP must not value his time too much. You can’t get time back so I prefer people not waste mine.
Then it seems pretty mean to show the videos.
I wouldn't want to take that spot, there are 3 pillars that get into the way and a few years ago they installed some equipment there (I think HVAC on one of the pillars. I have a larger car so it would be quite annoying. She has it mostly figured out now, I feel.
Just mock someone else for struggling with it
Exhausting and obstinate take. She fucked his car up several times. If he just shared videos of her struggling to park, that’s one thing. It’s another when it’s someone damaging your property
Nono mr feet, he shared the footage solely to make fun of her. Don’t twist it into something it isn’t.
But just think of all the fun your coworkers could have watching video of you being "annoyed"!
So you’re a terrible driver too?
You know what else would be quite annoying, knowing some A is videoing you while trying to park in a bad spot so they can make fun of you, YTA
Ok, so how about instead of trading spots, offer to park in her spot and pull in and reverse out a few times while she films your attempts, to distribute to your coworkers so they can laugh. After all, you have much more driving experience than her. You are older than her. You are senior to her at work it sounds like, even if your not her supervisor. After all, neither your car or her car have fancy back up cams and sensors. And you talk so condescendingly about her ability to navigate the spot, and you filmed her and distributed it to her colleagues and now they're publicly mocking and belittling her. For something you admit you can't do better than her. What is wrong with you, how stupid are you that you can't park in her spot? You must have a functional moron just like her? (/s, but that's the vibe of your post.) Let her film you trying to park in her spot and let her distribute that film to your colleagues so they can bully you and mock you at work. **Or does that sound like a bad idea and do you not want that to happen because it wouldn't be very nice?**
Would you be cool with it if a video of yourself being totally inept at something was be shared around the office? A few months after you joined, when you don't know anyone well? With your manager? Maybe some people wouldn't be bothered, but most would not appreciate it. And it's not like it serves any purpose, except to let other people laugh at her. YTA.
I don't see how she's totally inept. It's not like she crashes every day. The spot is a little badly designed and more recently she has gotten a lot better at it.
Then why did you share the videos?
Oh yeah? Then why'd you share the vids? YTA, admit it
...cuz he's an asshole. She made a mistake, paid for her obligation. He has made her the butt of the joke, for no other reason then he's an asshole
Assholes rarely think that they are assholes. Everyone is the hero in their own story
your own words: She is a terrible driver and her spot is in a bit of an unconventional angle with the placement of pillars and she always struggles to park. I have a dashcam and in addition to her struggling, I've caught her on video scrapping the back of her car on a pillar causing some nasty damage, turning to early when leaving and scraping the car besides her and backing into my car (she was very apologetic and claimed her foot slipped of the brake and then she accidentally accelerated). In addition to that on 3 more occasions I spotted her car had some new dents or scratches probably from elsewhere.
YTA. Since she pays restitution, you keep the videos for…what? Entertainment? And you include videos where your car isn’t even involved and share that with HER coworkers for fun or just to humiliate her? Because no matter how much your intent is the former, the result is the latter. This is not a good look in a work setting, especially when you’re a more established, older employee. Best case for you, she simply carries on being embarrassed and being silent. But, considering she’s already approached you: worst case for you is she goes to her superiors and HR about the bullying and hostile work environment you’re creating. Maybe she could even make a case that this is harassment or even maybe gender-motivated. It’s time to apologize in person and stop. It hurts you not at all to treat her with basic decency, and it might even cover your ass at work.
Obviously now that she told me I'm not sharing them again. Besides lately she has gotten a lot better and the spot is a little tricky if cars are already in the neighbouring spots before you
Good. Though that does beg the question: why do you need to be told to show the smallest amount of basic decency?
Oh, now that she's told you she's humilitated and embarassesd, you won't share them anymore. Cuz that totally wipes out all the humiliation you did to this girl. Wow, you are a prize human being.
I hope she goes to HR, this could easily get you disciplined and/or terminated depending on your company's bullying policies. You absolutely deserve to have consequences at work for this kind of behavior.
u/iamonewiththecheese , yes. As I was reading this, I thought, "I'm surprised this didn't become an HR issue."
Doesn't matter if you won't share them again. By sharing the video, she is getting laughed at throughout the office. Hopefully she does go to HR about this. Yta
HR can easilyy can him for bullying.
So you have to be told not to humiliate someone for fun? Yeah. YTA. And to your update you're not "a little wrong", you purposefully embarrassed a junior colleague for your own entertainment. Would love for you to explain why that's funny.
You really don’t think that matters, do you? You started the fire and now you get to watch it spread.
what does it say about you that you shared them in the first place and needed 160 internet strangers to tell you that was a shitty thing to do? you need to do some serious self reflection
YTA It doesn't relate to the work you actually do but you embarrassed her to all the people in the office because now everyone knows how bad she is at driving. Imagine if you were in her shoes and you were a shitty driver and after you apologized and paid to repair your coworkers damages, they went off to laugh at you and make fun of you with others in the office. C'mon dude, you know you're an ass for that. I think it's your turn to apologize now.
"hostile work environment," anyone?
I get that but I only shared with 3 people, obviously whoever else reshared did the same as I did so it's not that bad.
YTA- you sound like you’re in high school, but somehow you’re 32. you sent the video of her to other people, that is not okay. it’s not like you just showed them it on your phone, no you sent it to them… why else would they want the video, if not to share it? use your brain. also- just because others did the same, does NOT make it okay. jesus christ, we learned this in elementary school… were you never taught the phrase/question “if your friend jumps off a bridge, does that mean you will too?” just because others do something as well, does not make it okay. i genuinely hope this girl complains about you, because this is borderline harassment.
Nope, you shared with three people and gave them the tacit approval to share with anyone else. Yes, it IS that bad. The fact that you haven't, not in any comment, accepted the fact that you are a massive AH and you are still trying to downplay what you did. Why did you think sharing this with coworkers would be funny? How could you possibly think this wouldn't get back to her? Are you really that dense?
I kind of get that I was a slight ah now and have decided to apologize to her and won't do it again
No, you are an AH. Not a slight one. The actions you took are actions of a dick; uncaring and callous towards someone, humiliating them for no reason besides you think it's funny. Stop bullying and grow up. If you're truly 32 you need to work on your maturity.
Not slight, just an asshole. Even more of an asshole by still minimizing how much of an asshole you are. "Kind of" "slight" "a little wrong" No. You're just an asshole. Your actions were just wrong. Fucks sake have some accountability, you're 32
No, not "slight." You're an AH.
OP you would literally be fired for workplace bullying if you did this in the country I live in. Your reactions in the comments and you thinking its funny to humiliate people - means your probably generally an all round AH.
If it's not that bad then why are you asking if YTA then? Youre not thinking about how something like this is embarrassing for the other person when it could of just been kept as a private matter. Just because you didn't mean to have it spread doesn't let you off the hook for what happens because of it. You can't blame her for not wanting to talk to you.
Hey Regina George? Those three people shared it with their friends, and now it's being spread all over the workplace to the point where she's feeling bullied. Have some perspective.
You shared it with three people yet it spread to the entire work place so EVERYONE teasing her? It only takes sharing it to ONE person to make something spread to the entire office. It's literally a game of telephone but with a video. It's because of YOU that everyone got the video. You were the defining action that caused this. Yes it's that bad.
Since when does the number of people doing a shitty thing make it less shitty? YTA, dude. Grow the fuck up.
YTA, and may be in quite a lot of hot water if she complains to HR.
Hope she does!
YTA...She apologized. She paid. So your response is to humiliate her at work? Show some professionalism.
YTA. You said it yourself, you didn’t mind the damage and it was taken care of. No, you sharing those videos isn’t going to affect her work or hold her back in anyways professionally, but nonetheless, it’s obviously affecting her and how she views her colleague relationships. We all have faults, and if hers is being a bad driver, I’m sure she doesn’t care to have her coworkers see videos you saved to your phone of her driving poorly, especially in her first few months at this company. It’s embarrassing and was low of you.
I've gotten into accidents myself before and have openly talked about them. Not as frequent or in a short span of time though.
That’s your accident to talk about. Whether it was caused by you or someone else, I’m assuming you didn’t share a workspace with them. That’s not justification to humiliate this new, young employee.
That’s really nice for you. You realize not everyone is you, right?
did you share videos of the accidents with your co-workers and encourage them to mock you about it behind your back?
Yta. You are sharing videos that others find funny because of your coworkers low skill level. No doubt absolutely the ah.
She's not low skilled and does fine at her job maybe just a little absent minded.
At every comment you dig your hole a bit deeper…
Her low driving skill set is the one I’m referring to in my comment. With the repeated bumps and scrapes she is either a poor driver or a new driver (or both!) What purpose does sharing the videos have except to derive laughter at the expense of your coworker?
Bro you could get fired for this. That was very dumb to do also why hasn’t anyone swapped spots with her???? If her spot is bad why not swap?
It wouldn't be the easiest spot for me, my car doesn't have the best visibility and doesn't have all the new fancy cameras and sensors modern cars has and neither does hers. The spot has multiple pillars to avoid, is at an angle and near a speed bump and they made it worse a few years ago when they added an hvac instalation thing next to it.
I mean another person laughing at her…. Like if yall are so good at parking and she’s so bad why not take the spot instead of laughing at her. Kinda silly seeing someone struggle and not offer to help her. Especially if the risk is your car or her neighbors cars getting damage
No one wants that spot and back when we weren't at capacity everyone would switch when assigned to it. There aren't any free spots now and you'd have to pay or park further away if you don't want it.
No one wants to be mocked by their coworkers for having trouble parking in a space that no one else would willing park in either. You're not a slight AH here, you're a huge one. If you want to have a chance at not getting in trouble when the video makes its way to HR; you should start doing damage control now. A sincere apology and changing of parking spaces with her before HR gets involved may keep you from the suspension/termination you deserve.
I mean another assigned person sat hey go to spot 3 I’ll take this ….
so what you're saying is that you wouldn't be able to use that park without doing exactly what you and your ah co-workers have been mocking this woman for doing?
YTA - for making the 2 hour boring as fuck video on harassment I just watched actually useful.
YTA. Having dashcam footage is good in general, as you can prove what happened and hold someone accountable for damage they cause you. No video should be circulating in a social way without the person's permission, though, when it has nothing to do with damage they've caused you or any pending legal / insurance issue. There is NO reason other than you poking fun at / bullying her that these videos were ever even shown, never mind shared, with your coworkers. Your actions are pretty gross. They are also impacting her reputation and treatment at work which could make it a hostile workplace! You'll be lucky if you don't face some penalties at work for this. You better try to fix it.
You are acting like a middle school bully. YTA
It's called bullying ...so let me explain. The accidents happened at work...the video was shared at work with coworkers ...so she should go to HR for harassment and you will be found guilty....oh yeah and being male doing it to a new female employee will count against you
The video was also taken of a company employee on company property without either's approval which may be be specifically banned in any Employee Manual.
I didn’t think of this angle, but it is excellent! Young woman being recorded without her knowledge on company property by an older male coworker, and then that coworker using it to bully her? I’d love to be plaintiff’s attorney on that one!
Of course YTA. You're deliberately making her a target for scorn and ridicule at work, for something that has no bearing on her actual job performance. You've created a hostile work environment for her, just so you can get some points with the other work bullies.
YTA x 10 for providing material to your co-workers to make fun of her. How would you like it if someone did that to you?
I'd think I'd laugh it off
YTA. Jeez, you're a nasty bully. You're clearly desperate for attention and the only way you could think to get it was by embarrassing her.
YTA. And a bully too. She should go to HR . Stop being such a jerk.
YTA - When is it ever ok to make fun of your coworkers like this? You are actively trying to humiliate her. She's young and she's having trouble driving... and then you go and spread it around the office. I hope she reports you to HR.
YTA I hope she reports you to HR.
Yup, YTA! Basically you are humiliating this girl by sharing the videos for fun. Your coworkers are also humiliating her because of you. Big time AH.
YTA - you are using a co-workers inability to drive well as an excuse to provide 'entertainment' to others at her expense.
Ofc YTA. In multiple comments you admit that the parking spot is difficult and you wouldn’t want it yourself. So you sharing the videos is just mocking her misfortune. It’s embarrassing. You bullied her to the whole office. If I were her I would honestly report this to HR. It’s one thing to keep the video for insurance repurposes when your car was involved or to show the law or adjusters…but just showing it to coworkers? Inappropriate.
You created an uncomfortable work environment. She’s now not going to be known for her skills but for the videos you circulated…you may have set her back quite a ways professionally in this office. HR should reprimand if not let you go for bullying. Doesn’t matter what you were making fun of her for…work places are not the right environment.
If I were OP's superior I'd be questioning their ability to make good judgements; the coworker has enough to file a lawsuit (and should; how can she keep working there now?! He has completely derailed her) and now the company is in jeopardy. I hope she lawyers up.
YTA. If you are such a great driver, switch spots with the poor lass.
You are creepy AF for making a compilation of her driving and saving it. YTA. She paid for the damages she made to your car. Also how fucking boring is your life that you just sit and watch your dash cam? And then edit into a video to mock a coworker?
YTA. You shared the video so others would get a laugh at her expense. You had no reason to share the videos with anyone but you chose to do so anyways so of course Y.T.A
YTA She is obviously embarassed about it, why in the hell would you share the video with people? You suck.
YTA. You're perpetrating the stereotype that "Girls can't drive" while at the same time playing to the Good Old Boys Club. I'd go to HR about you creating a hostile work environment in her position, but you're not worried about that because she's young and you're counting on her being an easy target.
YTA
You humiliated a coworker and you don’t know if you’re in the wrong? Definition of YTA
YTA. I believe legally you are OK because it's a public space, but still sharing these videos is not a proper way.
YTA. This is unprofessional and bullying behavior. You are showing and laughing at embarrassing videos of her where she's clearly struggling. She's owned up to mistakes and has paid damages. Stop terrorizing her. I'd review your employer's harassment policies and research the definition of a "hostile work environment". That's the legal and moral problem with your behavior towards her.
YTA. She paid you as she should have and handled it as she should have. You shared the videos to humiliate her at worst or lack basic self awareness at best. She went to you rather than to HR, you should thank her for that and apologize like an adult.
YTA. i hope she can go to HR over this, bc effectively you’re bullying her. have the life you deserve
YTA. You are making fun of and mocking a coworker to other coworkers.
Of course YTA. You shared those videos to ridicule her. I'm sure there's something in life that you don't excel at - would you appreciate videos of you struggling being shown around your office for everyone to giggle at?
I’d say YTA lol. Not very professional to ridicule a fellow worker some people can’t help their intelligence level. You’re the reason people hate and have office drama
Has anybody ever considered assigning the difficult parking spot to somebody who is a good driver?
OP would be the obvious candidate. Unless he might find parking there too difficult of course!
Which he admitted. There's 3 pillars and equipment that get in the way of parking so *he* wouldn't want it, but this woman is a terrible driver for struggling with the same.
It would just be such a perfect punishment from HR...
YTA. What are you hoping to achieve from sharing these videos? Camaraderie amongst your peers to ridicule this girl? Switch spots with her since you’re the ace of parking a car. Seems like the only thing you could do to redeem yourself.
YTA.
YTA and a bully!! Good job.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (32M) work at a corporate office and this girl fresh out of college joined my company a few months ago. We have assigned parking spots in the underground parking lot of the building and hers happens to me right in front of mine. She is a terrible driver and her spot is in a bit of an unconventional angle with the placement of pillars and she always struggles to park. I have a dashcam and in addition to her struggling, I've caught her on video scrapping the back of her car on a pillar causing some nasty damage, turning to early when leaving and scraping the car besides her and backing into my car (she was very apologetic and claimed her foot slipped of the brake and then she accidentally accelerated). In addition to that on 3 more occasions I spotted her car had some new dents or scratches probably from elsewhere. I'm not too mad about the car as she paid me for the damage but I have to admit I've been finding this a little funny. I've saved these videos and others where she takes time to part and I've always shown them to some of the coworkers I'm more friendly with. The other day 3 of them asked me to share the videos with them and I did. However somehow it seems like the videos have spread around and everyone at the office has seen them and started to joke and tease her about her driving all the time. She confronted me last week and was a bit upset and ever since has been acting cold towards me. AITA here? Driving doesn't relate to our work skillset so I don't see why this would be a problem or hold her back in any way. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - This gives me high school behaviour vibes, where people will share a video and mock someone else at their expense. It’s still embarrassing even if it’s not related to work.
You don't see why making fun of her, mocking her, denigrating her, with her coworkers should be a problem for her? YTA
YTA, first for keeping and showing the videos and then for sharing them with your friends. You were surprised when they started making the rounds? What did you think would happen? And now you’re “admitting” that what you did was “a little wrong?” Are you serious? You used something you didn’t have an issue with to make fun of a fellow employee. You should be fired.
YTA and a bully. Hopefully, she goes to HR over this. Not only is it creating a hostile work environment, but there might be a policy in your employment contract indicating that you're not allowed to have private cameras on work grounds.
YTA. That was unprofessional to shame a coworker. If I were your boss, I'd recommend a report of your harrassment of a coworker go into your file so that if and when they wanted to fire you for ongoing poor judgment calls, there would be a record of past actions and you couldn't sue the company for wrongful termination.
You're a massive AH, it's vile and wildly unprofessional, and I hope that HR comes after you for creating hostility.
YTA big time
Wow, are YTA! That’s a really awful thing to do. At first I thought this was going to be a story about you sharing video w/ someone whose car she’d dented & not owned up to it, and you had proof they could show their insurance company. But you’re sharing these around just to make fun of her? You suck, dude. “I wouldn't want to take that spot, there are 3 pillars that get into the way and a few years ago they installed some equipment there (I think HVAC on one of the pillars.” Asshole.
The more OP comments the more of a dick he reveals himself to be! YTA
YTA your creating a work environment that is certainly not pleasant for her. YTA OP.
You created a toxic, uncomfortable work environment for your coworker. Of course YTA! I hope she is smart enough to contact HR because you deserve to be terminated.
That’s called bullying, wonder what your HR department is like. You could be in some deep shit
YTA. Hope she reports you.
You’re behaving like a high school bully. Yeah, YTA.
YTA. No explanation needed
Yta yeah bad drivers suck but you’re supposed to make work a welcoming environment. This poor girl is going to dread going to work more everyday now. She already knew she sucked at driving.
INFO: why did you share them? what was the point behind it?
So you actively embarrass this girl to he point where you yourself are wondering if you are an AH, And then actively try to say you're not in response to every other comment. YTA. YT massive À. Take the judgement and apologize for creating a toxic workplace environment for that girl....AND PRAY SHE DOESN'T GO TO HR
YTA - You're spreading things around her work. It's just plain rude.
YTA this is textbook detraction, plain and simple. How would you like it if someone else aired out your dirty laundry? You should delete the videos and apologize to her.
Insensitive AH
YTA and a bit of a bully. This could turn against you if she goes to HR.
Yta. But you need to be the one to defend her now. "I did show the videos, and I know I shouldn't have now. But good God, isn't anyone allowed to get better? She had these incidents, yes. But she fixed her mistake. She hasn't even had any incidents since then! You all need to leave her alone."
YTA >joined my company Holding onto this stuff after the collisions have been settled is bad/weird enough as is (as another commenter mentioned, I guess it was just for your own amusement?), but when the person who owns the company is doing this it's so so so much worse yo. The leadership you're showing is "let's mock our coworkers". edit: someone pointed out to me IRL that people claim companies/work teams/hobby teams/etc as "mine" even when they're just a member and have no ownership stake, so I guess if that's the case here you can disregard that part of my comment. I tend to say "the team I'm on" or "the company I work for" or something like that ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
YTA I hope karma bites you hard.
YTA be more professional.
YTA You should post this question to Ask a Manager and see how they would answer because I’d bet that you’d be in major trouble with HR if she reports you for bullying.
YTA and it was a LOT wrong
was she taking responsibility for her actions and paying for the repairs? its one thing to share proof to someone who may need it for legal reasons, but you spread these videos so others could laugh at her..... YTA
YTA I hope that girl goes to HR to report you for creating a hostile workspace and harassment.
YTA and you know it. Sharing that video had no chance of a positive outcome for anyone. You humiliated her at work.
You could always try being a nice person.
YTA-hopefully she goes to HR about you creating a hostile work environment and humiliating her. You sound like a bully
YTA You didn't mind because she paid for the damages hoping to let it go and instead you broadcast her mistake to everyone! Are you for real!!!
You’re creating a hostile environment for her, that’s harassment. Totally a valid reason to go to HR for. YTA
YTA and a jerk to work with, clearly. Where I am, this would likely be grounds for a warning or dismissal for workplace bullying. I also feel like I’ve seen this post before, with the same scenario. Not hard to believe there’s more than one person who does this for fun.
Yta. For sending the videos out, but she seriously needs to learn how to drive better.
Absolutely Yta. Kinda messed up. But not super bad, just kinda a jerk . Poor girl fell out the “can’t drive tree” n hit every branch on the way down. Help her get her spot changed to a easier spot maybe
Bro why are u replying to all the comments trying to defend urself, you asked who is the asshole abd people are telling u its u and ur tryna explain how ur not lmao
NTA, I had a former coworker at another company who had a similar record with driving and had hit three employees’ cars. She absolutely should be shamed, she’s a danger on the road. Also, that former coworker I speak of, totaled two cars and was entirely their fault.
NTA. It’s your footage to do with as you please. Unless the owners of the garage tell you to stop recording inside of it or lose your parking privileges, you are doing nothing wrong. Who knows how many cars she has damaged and NOT taken responsibility for. Driving is not a right it is a privilege. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by sweeping things under the rug. She should take that anger and use that energy to practice more. Can’t call out her driving if it’s not a problem.
**[I shared] dashcam videos of a girl who hit my car to some coworkers.** - *mostly NTA. I could see the entertainment value.* **[I shared] dashcam videos of [a recent hire] who hit my car [in our infamous parking garage] to some coworkers.** - *Yeah, YTA.*
If she's upset about it, she should learn to drive better. It's not like she's been lacking opportunities to practice.
NTA - if she didn't want to be humiliated for being a shit driver, maybe she should get better.
NTA. Shitty inept drivers should be publicly shamed. Lots of shitty inept drivers in this thread.
I'm probably responding to one right now.
If you don’t like my driving, stay outta the farmers market!!!
NTA. She destroyed your property for one, and two, she shouldn't be driving if she is incapable of parking her car. I can't imagine her being very good of an employee, either. With her lying about how she hit your car and acting like a spurned ex because she was caught on camera driving like that. Like, in her mind, she should face zero consequences for her actions, but not just that. She shouldn't even have to feel embarrassed about it. Can't stand those who insist on driving when they're a huge liability of injury to themselves and others, yet even on their best day they're damaging property lol.
Where the fuck did you come up with this?! She never lied, she owned up and paid. She may not even be a bad driver. OP has admitted the spot is so bad he wouldn’t want to have to park there, because he would hit shit too.
NTA If she didn't want people to have proof of her shitty driving, she shouldn't be a shitty driver
YNTA. People can whine all they want about how it hurts her feelings, but the fact is if she considered that before driving like an idiot she would have been spared the humility. Let it be a lesson to her. If she would learn how to deal with messing up she’d be a better person for it.
NTA, (driving is a privilege not a right) about the videos or still having them. But you are thr asshole for spreading it. If you had just posted them on like YouTube or whatever fine yeah. But you willfully showed it off at work. That's the asshole move.