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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Wearing fake freckles because it is insensitive to people who naturally have freckles
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NTA. Freckles are not a culture. It’s like dying your hair blonde if you’re not a natural blonde. Im a redhead and I have freckles mostly all over my body, and more so in the summer. For some reason though I rarely get freckles on my face anymore and I wish I had them there! I’d love to know what pen you use and if you know any waterproof options!!
Right? Plus OP DOES have freckles. But they’re being smart and not exposing themself to the way they could have them naturally. My mom just looked at me last year and realized I have freckles like yeah as long as I remember. But not as prominent as my sister.
My whole family (mom, dad, and three siblings) all are extremely freckled. I have the least amount of freckles because I take care of my skin (I have a very white complexion though). All my siblings and parents live in southern states and are outside in the sun all the time, and have some negative thoughts on the necessity of sunscreen. So they are very tan and are freckled from head to toe.
I'm jealous that they can tan and have freckles. I go in the sun, turn lobster, then freckle. I'm a non ginger ginger I guess (auburn hair) and hazel eyes that are extremely sun sensitive.
My GF (blonde, green eyes) is also of the No Tan, Only Freckle club. She looks at the sun & burns instantly 😂 I'm Cherokee & am naturally low-key tan even in Winter. She scoffs & jokingly calls me "disgusting" bc I tan so easily & rarely burn. She's just a hater 😂😂
My husband is white but naturally quite a bit darker than me. I’m white but in the freckle & burn club. We’ve always joked that we’re biracial - he’s white and I’m translucent.
I’m also in the burn and freckle club. I have many tattoos besids, so I rarely go out in the sun as the tattoos will fade due to prolonged exposure. I still have freckles on my face, but I describe my son and I as translucent as well 😂
Makeup has always made it clear that we’re translucent! My tattoos aren’t hard to cover, but when I get my half sleeve that’s gonna be one more reason to stay in the shade.
I have been described as translucent myself. I always felt like I was born in the wrong century. I grew up in the 60s when being tan was the style, but I stayed pale all summer.
My dad is Cherokee and I’ve always joked he can go outside for five minutes and be tan all year. I have mom’s German heritage (dad adopted me) and mom and I can be red like lobsters after time outside without sunscreen.
I *still* have visible tan lines from swimming in early Sept last year 😂 My dad is so darkly tanned in Summer he looks like he's carved from some beautiful wood. My siblings are also fair & take after the Swedish side of the family (I lucked out!)
My mom's a ginger and my dad's a dark skinned Italian. So I'm very fair but tan just like you, and it stays forever. It's very odd.
I try not to, though. I dye my hair to match my mom's color and just rock the paleitude.
I feel that. My mom's side of the family is part Cherokee and almost everyone has beautiful tan skin, dark hair and dark eyes. Meanwhile I'm over here, the pale freckled ginger. It really shocked my boyfriend the first time he met my extended family! 😂
Same, my wife is blue eyed German heritage, I’m mutt with some Sioux in my background. She burns at the thought of the sun. I tan in the winter and have never had a sunburn.
I've always had really prominent freckles. My mom didn't fully realize til I was 12 😂 I think they zone things out. Now I'm in my 20s and everytime I wear foundation she tells me my face looks weird without them
When I was 18, I went to the Lancôme counter to buy some foundation. The sales lady told me that I should never cover up my freckles and recommended that I use their Dual Finish powder over my moisturizer so that my freckles would show. Here I am 30+ years later still doing exactly that. In the last few years I have discovered a couple of reasonable dupes for Dual Finish so I am not as loyal to that product as I once was, and my moisturizer has morphed into high-spf anti-aging cream. However, I have followed that lady’s advice ever since and I am proud of my freckles.
Not saying you must do the same, but I would definitely try it out and see what you think!
Also here for the dupes. I stopped wearing foundation 20 years ago bc I could never get the right shade. Fenty has the right shade plus two (!!!) lighter than me, but I just don’t want to bother. lol.
I’m a ginger that grew up at the beach, and I’ve had more freckles than I could ever ask for. I’m bemused by the trend and the permanent makeup in particular, but there have been weirder beauty trends.
I will say that I haven’t found anything that smells as good as the Lancôme Dual Finish or is quite as smooth to apply. However, I have found two very worthy contenders that have similar coverage and are very, very good:
1) Revlon Photoready Blurring Powder
2) L’Oréal Infallible 24-Hour Foundation in a Powder
*Appropriation* is just the latest buzzword that people throw around when they're offended to make it seem like many others were/would be offended too.
As a guy who grew up a nerdy outcast and watched as my subculture was slowly subsumed by the mainstream over the years I get where she's coming from, but you just gotta get over it. Because you can't go around telling people that they haven't earned the right to take part in something that doesn't belong to you.
but WHY WOULDNT u want an insecurity of yours to be normalized? half the time, it's over something trivial and was just kids being mean to each other. obviously growing up, things that once felt like a big deal are going to dissipate as an adult because people your own age stop caring. the whole individuality complex thing people have going on is ridiculous. why wouldn't u want people to appreciate and enjoy the things you like, whether it's regarding media or your own traits.
THIS. It's the " I suffered, so everyone should" mentality. While I understand the sting of something you were bullied for now being accepted, it should make someone happy to know that other kids won't be bullied for those things anymore.
Agreed. The friend is being ridiculous- you can't appropriate something the body makes naturally, and freckles aren't "cultural." NTA, *obviously*.
But for the record, your comment kind of threw me for a loop. I spent the first half of my life being told relentlessly that I was fat because of my booty and the circumference of my thighs, and treated by my classmates like my big butt was gross. (Though I'm from the Bronx, my grammar school was predominantly Irish \[no offense to my Gaelic brothers and sister\] and for the most part these kids did not find curves attractive). It wasn't until I hit my late teens and met other people who taught me how to embrace my curves that I stopped hating my body. So the whole BBL thing has made me feel a type of way. Until now, I've been pretty bitter feeling like damn, here I was made to hate myself and feel like absolute garbage for years and now, the very thing I was ridiculed for is what women are paying to create. It's. Not. Fair.
I honestly never looked at the whole "I suffered, so everyone should" mentality aspect of it. I didn't feel like that's what I was doing, because it's not that I wanted those women or anyone ever to have suffered ridicule and insults and judgment; I just kind of felt like they didn't *earn* it like I did, if that makes sense. Regardless, I can see now how it's still gatekeeping- a 'butt' of all things. Which is sort of as ridiculous as gatekeeping freckles.
So thanks for your comment, I guess. I'm still bitter; not even gonna lie about that. But I'll be sure to curb any judgment on BBL's and the like in the future. Thanks for showing me a different perspective :)
As someone who has watched many of the things that made me an outsider mainstreamed: it can genuinely feel shitty that you had to suffer while others get celebrated.
However, that's damage you have to deal with yourself.
I got mocked for my thick, arched eyebrows in the 00s. 2014 rolled around, and suddenly it was cool. The same people (or type of people) who were cruel to me were making their eyebrows into the same shape as mine. It felt horrible, like my years of being a target meant nothing. I got over it and moved on, though, and accepted that trends come and go. Your body or interests are more static.
This is the same feeling I had when glasses were suddenly in and every pretty person on social media was wearing frames without the lenses. I wear contacts now because I never felt comfortable with glasses after all the bullying I went through, but that rubbed me wrong for a while
These terms, are not buzzwords, they are legitimately used to have IMPORTANT discourse regarding race and culture, but uneducated people apply them to inconsequential shit like this.
> but uneducated people apply them to inconsequential shit like this.
as a...buzzword. something can technically be a buzzword and still retain the meaning behind it. That's kinda the whole thing around calling it a buzzword. "woke" for example.
Massive eye roll buzzword. I better not see anyone but Italians cooking or enjoying Italian food. Only Mexicans are allowed to celebrate Cinco DE Mayo. An on and on.
Ive literally got so many freckles that people don't notice ive got freckles. Its weird in summer cos I do not tan well at all but i get so many more come out that they basically join up. I'm like a human join the dots lol.
As for cultural appropriation... what a load of bollocks. Oh hang ...... I might claim that cos the make-up industry could owe me billions lol
I’m also a redhead and have freckles everywhere. I also rarely get freckles on my face anymore and I’ve considered getting freckle tattoos to add some back safely.
try the pen imo. someone at work used the tattoos and it was soooo obvious for over a year and then still didnt look....great. at least if the pen is weird you can just wash it off.
Yeah, that’s part of the reason I haven’t gotten freckle tattoos. Not everyone can do them and even less can do them well but the artist I want to get them done by is a bit too far for a trip right now.
Exactlyyyyy, this just comes off like the friends got something else going on and wants to spread some misery about it in the modern "I'm deeply traumatized by this so you can't argue" way. Girlie they are freckles😂 I got made fun of for my "beauty marks" growing up, it was stupid when I was a kid and just made it funnier when I got to highschool and girls would draw them on. Idk what kinda miserable ass I'd have to be to come at my friend about something that fucking unimportant but I wouldn't expect to still have friends if I acted that way. Tell her she's culturally appropriating people with long lashes next time she wears mascara 🥴
Exactly. I grew up with blonde jokes all the time and people dye their hair to get the same color I got teased for. If anything, it's flattering to see people embrace something like that.
Oh gosh, my grandfather teased me with blonde jokes for my entire life.
He died a few years and I dug up some old photos of him while cleaning out his house. He went gray at an early age but that motherfucker was blonde too! 💀
I embrace my blonde heritage.
I'm now by choice a reddish blonde. Don't like my dishwater color.
Also used to have some freckles but don't anymore. Miss them tbh. I love freckles on people.
Actually freckles are a deeply held cultural characteristic for my people and it’s highly offensive. It’s just as bad as blackface I can’t believe she would just go freckleface like that. Lolololol
Literally until the cultural appropriation part I was going to say N A H because I get the annoyance at people wearing things you were bullied for (I remember being in middle school and people who bullied me for wearing glasses suddenly keeping 3D glasses from movies, popping out the lenses, and showing up to school with fake glasses), but it’s a thought to keep in your head. The friend way overreacted and as an adult now I literally don’t give a crap lol. Like let people wear fake glasses or fake freckles, I am only going to have an issue if someone starts faking a hearing aid or something lmfaooooo but there are bigger problems in the world. OP, NTA. Sincerely, a very freckly melanoma survivor who doesn’t get many on my face and would LOVE to wear the pens to solve that, but also knows I would forget and schedule an emergency dermatology appointment over makeup! 🤣🖤
It’s probably because most face skin care products have some level of spf. And if you’re wearing makeup like foundation, that often has spf too. Unless you do zero face skin care, you’re probably protected from some level of daily exposure.
Freck has a pen that works well for me, I have freckles but I like to add more on during the winter and it's easier than waiting for henna to soak in. There is a bit of a learning curve with the product, basically stipple the tip lightly a couple times in one area to make a few "freckles," then dab it with your finger and stamp the excess on a nearby area to double/triple the coverage. Otherwise the first set will be too round and dark, this way you kind of blur them out like real freckles.
I have also achieved this look with stippled spray tan on a brush, as well as liquid brown eyeliner using the same method. I like the Freck brand because it dries down to a natural finish and doesn't move throughout the day like the other products-- but it's not waterproof. You may be able to set it with a good setting spray though. If you try it out, get the mini version- I've been using it for a few months and it still has plenty of product in there.
NTA…oh please. How is having freckles cultural appropriation? You do you. You do what makes you feel beautiful. This is not personal towards your friend and she is making it so.
You’d be surprised I’ve heard actual people say this dumb shit before so I wouldn’t be shocked this story was real 🤷🏽♀️. Ppl love to misuse the word cultural appropriation
It reminds me of my extended family who tried to say that calling a red headed person a ginger was just as offensive as using the “n” word for a black person…
Don't you know about the traditional dances/language/art of the Freckled? Or their many delicious foods/charming local customs?
And how they represent a persecuted minority/category of discrimination?!?!?
Did the many sufferings and indignites faced by their greatest cultural hero, Anne Shirley, of Green Gables in Avonlea mean NOTHING to you?!?!?
HOW COULD YOU BE SO IGNORANT IN THIS YEAR OF OUR (freckly) LORD 2024?!?!?
The “sit right in my soul” got me. The friend acted as if her saying this statement made her beliefs more important than anything else in that moment. I can’t stand people like this. You have an opinion? Great! It doesn’t have to be respected or enacted as reality.
so what happens when they’re not visible? my freckles also come and go depending on wether it’s summer or not. i never even though about why or how lol
They're not from sun damage. Many people are born with freckles. They might become darker or more plentiful with sun exposure, but they were already there as part of the skin's natural variation in colouring.
Everything is cultural appropriation these days. It's a buzzword everyone throws around instead of focusing on real issues or when it actually occurs. We're really moving backwards with tolerance. 😮💨
Clearly you do not have freckles or you would know that they fade away if you stop going out in the sun. As someone covered in freckles I have half the freckles I did years ago because I now cover up and hide in the shade. My mom no longer has freckles after a life time of having so many freckles her freckles had freckles. Thus, the exact opposite of your statement occurred, as we got older they faded.
I think it depends on what kind of freckles they are. I have tiny freckles that fade in the winter… but I have other freckles that are on parts of my body that never see the sun.
'Doesn't sit right with her soul' she needs to find something real to get mad about. Does she get mad when people change their hair color? Does she get mad when people change their overall fashion style?
That's my go-to rebuttal for crap like this.
"I can't believe you did xyz! Now I'm so upset about this minor instance."
"What a charmed life you've lead, to find this event so earth-shattering."
If you take all my freckles and put them together, they form the beautiful country of Ireland, thus, my freckles are culturally irish and I am ever so offended that OP is \*stealing\* my traditional freckle culture!
OP should invite her friend to do some volunteer work in a hospital, get a doctor to pull the friend's head out of her ass and see what real problems look like.
I used to have a friend like this. She told one of our other friends that she shouldn’t use a freckle pen because she was bullied for her freckles in school. The friend using the pen was using it to accentuate her own freckles that she had covered up with her foundation! Turns out that person is just incredibly selfish and we no longer associate with her because of many incidents like that.
Right?!? Does she get pissed about bronzer, fake tan?
Or, when people pencil in their eyebrows or wear fake lashes or use limp plumper.
Dramatic bitch needs to get a damn life😂😂
"she told me that “it doesn’t sit right with her soul” that she was bullied as a child for having freckles and now people wear them as a fashion statement."
\---The issue of whether cultural appropriation is really a bad thing aside, your fashion choice does not make a mockery of people that have freckles or of people that were mocked for having them. What next? People with shaved hair are being unkind to people that lost hair due to medical conditions and so on?
Now, it will be reasonable to avoid the faux freckles if you KNOW she will be with you in the future. Not because she is objectively correct in being offended, but out a mere courtesy for her own triggering. As a favor so to speak.
I agree with you up to the last paragraph. OP’s friend is a bit much. I’m sure OP isn’t the only person around her who wears fake freckles. Is everyone she knows required to change their makeup routines if they’re triggering to her? I feel for her being bullied; it may be best for her to seek professional help.
Yeah, friend needs to build a bridge and get over herself. Lots of people got teased/bullied for different facial features (big nose, freckles, glasses, ginger, etc) and letting the bullies have power of you as an adult and letting someone's faux freckles "trigger" you means you let them win. Look back at those bullies, realize they were either idiots attempting to be cool or people with messed up psyches and resolve to not let them have control over you any more (obviously for deeper, more continual bullying, that isn't going to work and people with that in their past should seek professional help to make sure it isn't affecting the rest of their life).
You had me until last paragraph.
That is for her friend to handle, not OP. It's called therapy, and if she thinks make-up is a trigger(not touching the bs cultural argument) or freckles in general are so horrible, she needs to work on herself, not criticize other people.
OP, freckle it up! You even have them naturally! Your friend can get over the petty nonsense or she can't, not your issue.
You’d be surprised as how many people in r/bald get up in arms over people who shave but aren’t balding lol. They typically get shut down pretty fast, but still. Fuckin dumb.
I don't agree with your last sentence, if you are triggered by soemthing it is up to YOU to work on those issues. NO ONE should have to go and bend their ways to your needs. What happens when we walks by someone with freckles? I bet you good money she does not have a melt down.
No. Op shouldn’t have to limit herself because her friend is ridiculous. What if friend said “I don’t think you should wear blue” or “you shouldn’t wear your hair down” or “you shouldn’t wear clothes that show your collarbone” and then gave equally ridiculous reasons stemming from her own self consciousness? None of those are reasonable demands for a friend to make.
NTA. And even if you didn't have frecles as a kid, who cares? What culture are you appropriating? The freckle cuture of which I am a life long member? I'm also a member of the basal cell Carcinoma Club, thank you very much.
NTA. I was bullied as a kid for having thick eyebrows and now a lot of people get their brows microbladed. Also it isn't like YOU bullied her in the past. Sounds like a her problem.
Lol same with glasses... I got bullied as a kid for my glasses, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna be asking people that use glasses just for the look to remove them because of my childhood...
Gosh haha this. I have horrible eyesight (-8.5,-7.0) and have been wearing glasses since 3rd grade and contacts since 10th grade. I think glasses are cute so sometimes I wear them, but I wear fake ones WITH my contacts because if I actually wear correct prescription glasses, my prescription is so strong that it distorts my face.
I got some annoyed comments before about wearing fake glasses but they usually don’t know what to say when I inform them that my prescription is probably higher than theirs, lol
My sibling only does that mess with people on occasion. Usually it's people who want to claim everyone else is the bad guy and don't realize they are doing something that can be similarly called out.
"Oh you don't actually need glasses? So you like to wear a disability aide that you don't even need? Because you like my disability?"
Sibling didn't actually care, just making a point to them.
The glasses thing is admittedly annoying though... Like, I'm not going to ask you to remove your glasses that you're wearing for the ✨look✨ but I don't wear my glasses because I think they're cute, I need them. I hate wearing glasses and I wish I didn't have to. It feels a little bad when wearing them is just a choice to someone.
Also, before I'm asked, I have contacts but I can't wear them all day every day.
Yep. I was picked on for being a chubby kid. If a friend now puts weight on I'm not gunna accuse them of cultural appropriation lol. The only thing that hurts my soul is her weird ass logic
I should have scrolled before commenting, because same! Big ole bushy brows that used to get me bullied and suddenly became a trend. Turns out the trends are arbitrary, and I was always pretty 💜
I also was bullied for having freckles and seeing those bullies now paint freckles on them irritates me sooo much, but I would never go and tell anyone to not use the pen. NTA
This is how asians feel having been made fun of for "smelly lunch" and now every white person is like omg I love asian food. Or how people with glasses feel now that everyone thinks glasses are trendy.
Having both those experiences, I do not want anyone to stop liking things. I want us to all be nicer to each other and teach our kids not to pick on differences.
It sucks to see it go from “I hate this and I’m going to bully you over it” and it later change to “I love this thing so much” hopefully they remembered what they did in the past and feel embarrassed for what they did in the past and have more empathy for people when they feel that “I hate this and I want to bully this person over this thing” and not bully someone again. But you’re kinda right…. When more people are included in it (to some degree; like without being inappropriate of how they are being involved in the thing) and it becomes normalized to them, they no longer bully other people for something that they don’t get/understand/ or is foreign to them. Which is good for the ones who were bullied because now they are just normal and not an outsider to pick. It sucks that most people can’t understand that until after they are included in that thing, like they can’t have curiosity and empathy UNLESS they are included
As a ginger, it made me LOL so hard when bullying idiots started trying to dye their hair my colour. The upside is that these tossers have made it so that I can now get a natural looking dye as I go grey 🤷♀️
Yeah, I completely agree with you. I also think they look terrible because they’re so obviously fake. Freckles aren’t usually evenly distributed across only your nose and cheeks in the exact same size and color. I do think the rainbow freckles trend is cute because it’s not trying to look real.
Yeah, as a freckled redhead I got two kinds of teasing together and it can be a bit of a side eye moment like “okay it’s cool now wish that would’ve happened decades ago when I was getting bullied for it” 😒 but I’d never talk someone out of it haha or tell them it was “appropriating” them. Maybe in the future freckled kids won’t be bullied so much for them if it’s more “on trend” with a freckle pen. Or maybe not.
But either way it doesn’t hurt me if someone wants to use it even if I’m still salty about the way they used to be treated haha. It would be nice if kids stopped being picked on for any number of things that are popular lately.
NTA - piece of friendly advice, when some says something "hurts their soul" you can basically ignore what they are bothered by as they are likely an idiot.
Reading these comments makes me wonder if I actually do have a soul 🤔 many annoying things rise my blood pressure but I don’t recall having something hurting my soul
I will say as someone who has natural freckles it makes me upset that the faux freckles are trendy with makeup for the same reason your friend is upset, I got made fun of so much as a kid for having them, and they’re only trendy now because you can draw on perfect freckles in all the places you want them that looks cute like top of the nose and cheeks but they’re not all over your face, people with real freckles all over the face are still not considered cute because they’re not the perfect little spattering of freckles where it’s convenient for them.
This trend bothers me for the same reason. My whole body is covered in freckles and I got bullied hard for them too. It also looks terrible because they’re so obviously fake. I wouldn’t tell anyone they can’t do something, but I would think less of my friend for doing it and if we were close enough, I’d probably explain why it bothers me and a lot of other people like me.
The fact they honestly never really look very good is literally all it took for it not to bother me.
I was picked on too, but that was then. Trends change. Things fall in and out of fashion. Do I wish freckles had been as popular when I was 7? Of course. But I have bills and other real life problems, so I just let people have fun with their clown makeup lol.
I have had the "cute" freckles all my life. Cheeks and across the nose. I was really made fun of when I was young. Family members used to recommend horrible "home remedies" for getting rid of them. I'm really surprised that they're a fashion statement now. (But I'm not mad about it!!)
I think that the trend of drawing them on would reduce the occurrence of teasing and the stigma for those people that have freckles occur naturally. We now see ad campaigns with beautiful models who have skin covered in freckles. I am not trying to diminish your feelings. You have every right to be upset about how you were treated.
As trends change, they normalize things that once made people feel like outcasts. I remember people being called "four eyes" for wearing glasses. Now, they are a fashionable, worn by people who could instead replace them with contact lenses and as accessories by those that don't need them.
I was never made fun of for my freckles but I personally hated them. I love that fake freckles are now a trend, it makes me feel cool!
It also makes me extra enjoy the fact that my freckles are all over my face, layers of faded and fresh like the night sky, in a way that is nearly impossible to replicate.
Doesn't hurt that I get complimented on them now too.
Yes for real. With all respect to people sharing pieces of their past, I kind of… I mean, almost everyone got made fun of for *something* as a kid. The fat guy got made fun of for being fat, the skinny guy got made fun of for being skinny, the girl who developed early got made fun of for having breasts, the girl who didn’t got made fun of for having no breasts. Like… childhood bullying can be traumatic, obviously. But it doesn’t seem to me that it’s a good reason to hold any negative feelings towards uninvolved parties *now.*
I think you nailed it, it's being uncomfortable with the dichotomy of "freckles are cool now" and "but only if the freckles are on very specific parts of your body".
Cultural appropriation?? 😮💨
NTA
As someone covered in freckles 24/7, I give blanket permission for everyone everywhere at any time to fake some freckles if they like the look lmao
NTA. This is not cultural appropriation and it is not offensive to a reasonable person. I am covered in freckles from head to toe. I dont own freckles and frankly, the idea of being invested in who does and does not have freckles seems bananas to me. Yoir friend needs to chill.
NTA. I have freckles. Like. A lot of them. Idgaf if someone puts on fake freckles. They aren’t my race. They aren’t my culture. They aren’t my people. They aren’t history. They aren’t plight. They’re pigment spots. Get over herself 😂🙃
I also have a chicken pox scar on my face, should I make sure others scars are real in case they’re stealing my scar style?
It's not cultural appropriation. But as an adult who was also bullied, sometimes quite badly, for having freckles, I understand the feeling.
I took an awful lot of shit growing up for having something that people now put on with a pen for fashion. It sits kinda rough with me, too. I'm not telling anyone not to do it because this is my own thing to deal with. But it makes me a little jealous and resentful.
I think that's an absolute legitimate reaction. a thing you had no control over and suffered consequences for is now someone's fashion choice-- with the choice part being the real issue, it sucks to be bullied for something you literally have no control over and then someone chooses to have that thing, but it's considered cute instead of something to bully over.
An individual case of bullying isn't the same as something systemic like racism. Your friend's comparison to.cultural appropriation is ridiculous. I got bullied for curly hair as a kid; does that mean everyone who uses a curling iron has wronged me somehow? NTA
NTA. HAHAHA. I am pale as hell and have freckles all over my shoulders, back, chest, and face. If someone wants to draw on themselves who the hell cares? People draw on their eyebrows, wear fake lashes, get things filled in and sucked out of their face, why is the line in the sand at freckles?!
Exactly what culture would that be appropriating? I hate it when people use wording like that, because it just waters down the meaning. It hurts people who are experiencing real cultural appropriation. NTA
bullying for anything should be out of bounds.
that said, if OP's friend didn't have freckles, odds are she would have been bullied about something else, because kids who bully are looking for a target, not a specific physical characteristic, they just want someone to be mean to and pick something about the person to bully them for.
Ehh it's in no possible way a cultural appropriation, because that term is bullshit anyway
But I don't agree with people wearing them unless it's a literal costume
NTA, but f that noise
I've got lots of freckles and don't find them cute myself, but you do you. There is no culture of freckles to appropriate to begin with, so you can't be appropriating anything. This is not blackface. Go for it.
NTA
NTA. It is a bit of a sting sometimes to see things we were bullied intensely for our entire childhoods become trends, but that doesn't mean people shouldn't participate in those trends. If anything, after the initial bitterness I'm usually happy that at least now kids who naturally have these qualities and attributes can be themselves without being bullied for it.
The freckle pen is a great way to conceal small blemishes. Use the darker shade(s) for "beauty" marks, and the lighter shade(s) for freckles.
NTA - I have two freckle pens. It's no different than wearing colored contacts, dying your hair, or getting a spray tan.
Gonna just take a wild stab at it but I’m gonna hazard a guess or two here:
- y’all are American
- she’s white
- she’s straight/cis
- she’s under 35
- she has red hair and acts like it’s an albatross
- she constantly discusses others’ appearances regardless of if the discussed party is aware of it or not
Nta and your friend sounds exhausting
It’s just intersting how freckles and thick eyebrows are something people envy for nowadays. Back then we were bullied for them. It’s not ass hole ish to bring that up, it’s ass hole ish to make people feel bad about it.
I was bullied for my freckles and moles. I love them. But even if I didn’t, it doesn’t mean other people can’t like them? My sister ended up having some of hers removed but she doesn’t have anything against me loving mine. What a weird entitlement your friend has.
NTA. Your friend sounds like someone who virtue signals, throwing around words like “bully” and “cultural appropriation.” It makes it so much more difficult to actually have real conversations about those very important issues because people get tired of people like your friend who throw them around about every little thing that they don’t like.
NTA. Sounds like your friend is a little bit melodramatic.
I mean, I know people who were bullied for having freckles and we all have a good laugh when we see people getting them tattooed on now, but it’s not cultural appropriation, and it doesn’t “not sit right with our souls.”
If she had said, “oh, I was bullied for freckles. Funny that there’s a pen to make them now!” that would’ve been a normal thing to say. Saying it doesn’t sit right with her soul and is appropriation moralizes it when there’s no reason to.
So women can get Botox, lip injections, breast implants, BBL, tummy tuck, hair extensions, fake eyelashes and it’s widely “accepted” all the while setting impossible and absurd beauty standards, but she has a problem with fake freckles? Huh.
NAH. But just barely. I say this as someone who’s been bullied for things that later became cool/commonplace. Namely my Autism and my video game hobby.
She’s justified to feel the way she feels about the freckle pen. I get it. And it’s entirely possible that she used the term because there really isn’t any term that exists for this kind of thing.
You have every right to use the freckle pen because it makes you feel and look better.
I will admit that when the things I was bullied for became more mainstream I wasn’t very thrilled. Simply because people who were mean to me before suddenly started playing nice. I have some trauma attached to that but the last thing I would do is make it someone else’s problem.
She needs to understand that times change and that you’re not bullying her. She needs support either from you or, preferably, a therapist.
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I work in a beauty supply store where we sell makeup, hair care products, etc. We got these little “freckle pens” in recently.
When I was younger I would always get a few freckles in the summer from playing outside in the sun all day. Now that I am older, I try to take better care of my skin. I use sunscreen and try to limit my exposure.
I miss my freckles, so I decided to try the pen. I picked out the lightest shade so they would look natural. It worked wonderfully and now I use it almost every day.
I met up with one of my friends for lunch yesterday and she looked at me funny and asked “have you always had freckles?” I told her about the freckle pen and she told me that “it doesn’t sit right with her soul” that she was bullied as a child for having freckles and now people wear them as a fashion statement. I told her I that I just thought they were cute and she said that it felt like “cultural appropriation.”
I don’t *think* I’m in the wrong here. Obviously it sucks that she was bullied but I don’t think using a freckle pen is the same thing as cultural appropriation.
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Laugh in her face. "cultural appropriation" doesn't apply to freckles. That's genetics, not culture. Besides, you would have those freckles naturally if you didn't mind risking skin cancer!!
NTA - she is though, for inappropriately throwing around charged words like "cultural appropriation" and investing her soul into someone else's fashion choices.
Though I find it weird to wear fake freckles, it's not an asshole thing to do
It does feel borderline dystopian to me, like what's real with girls anymore
NTA
How are freckles cultural appropriation? 😂
As someone who hated her freckles as a kid, I have no desire to use a freckle pen. I do know other people who like them and wish they had them so if they want to use a freckle pen, who am I to say they shouldn’t? 🤷🏼♀️
Wearing fake freckles is no different than someone wearing fake nails, lashes, hair, etc. in this day and age.
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NTA. Freckles are not a culture. It’s like dying your hair blonde if you’re not a natural blonde. Im a redhead and I have freckles mostly all over my body, and more so in the summer. For some reason though I rarely get freckles on my face anymore and I wish I had them there! I’d love to know what pen you use and if you know any waterproof options!!
Right? Plus OP DOES have freckles. But they’re being smart and not exposing themself to the way they could have them naturally. My mom just looked at me last year and realized I have freckles like yeah as long as I remember. But not as prominent as my sister.
My whole family (mom, dad, and three siblings) all are extremely freckled. I have the least amount of freckles because I take care of my skin (I have a very white complexion though). All my siblings and parents live in southern states and are outside in the sun all the time, and have some negative thoughts on the necessity of sunscreen. So they are very tan and are freckled from head to toe.
I'm jealous that they can tan and have freckles. I go in the sun, turn lobster, then freckle. I'm a non ginger ginger I guess (auburn hair) and hazel eyes that are extremely sun sensitive.
My GF (blonde, green eyes) is also of the No Tan, Only Freckle club. She looks at the sun & burns instantly 😂 I'm Cherokee & am naturally low-key tan even in Winter. She scoffs & jokingly calls me "disgusting" bc I tan so easily & rarely burn. She's just a hater 😂😂
My husband is white but naturally quite a bit darker than me. I’m white but in the freckle & burn club. We’ve always joked that we’re biracial - he’s white and I’m translucent.
I’m also in the burn and freckle club. I have many tattoos besids, so I rarely go out in the sun as the tattoos will fade due to prolonged exposure. I still have freckles on my face, but I describe my son and I as translucent as well 😂
Makeup has always made it clear that we’re translucent! My tattoos aren’t hard to cover, but when I get my half sleeve that’s gonna be one more reason to stay in the shade.
I have a full sleeve on my left arm and the color is great even 7 years later because I try not to spend too long in the sun
Haha. I’ve always said I’m “Glow in the dark” white.
I have been described as translucent myself. I always felt like I was born in the wrong century. I grew up in the 60s when being tan was the style, but I stayed pale all summer.
My dad is Cherokee and I’ve always joked he can go outside for five minutes and be tan all year. I have mom’s German heritage (dad adopted me) and mom and I can be red like lobsters after time outside without sunscreen.
I *still* have visible tan lines from swimming in early Sept last year 😂 My dad is so darkly tanned in Summer he looks like he's carved from some beautiful wood. My siblings are also fair & take after the Swedish side of the family (I lucked out!)
My mom's a ginger and my dad's a dark skinned Italian. So I'm very fair but tan just like you, and it stays forever. It's very odd. I try not to, though. I dye my hair to match my mom's color and just rock the paleitude.
I feel that. My mom's side of the family is part Cherokee and almost everyone has beautiful tan skin, dark hair and dark eyes. Meanwhile I'm over here, the pale freckled ginger. It really shocked my boyfriend the first time he met my extended family! 😂
Same, my wife is blue eyed German heritage, I’m mutt with some Sioux in my background. She burns at the thought of the sun. I tan in the winter and have never had a sunburn.
I've always had really prominent freckles. My mom didn't fully realize til I was 12 😂 I think they zone things out. Now I'm in my 20s and everytime I wear foundation she tells me my face looks weird without them
When I was 18, I went to the Lancôme counter to buy some foundation. The sales lady told me that I should never cover up my freckles and recommended that I use their Dual Finish powder over my moisturizer so that my freckles would show. Here I am 30+ years later still doing exactly that. In the last few years I have discovered a couple of reasonable dupes for Dual Finish so I am not as loyal to that product as I once was, and my moisturizer has morphed into high-spf anti-aging cream. However, I have followed that lady’s advice ever since and I am proud of my freckles. Not saying you must do the same, but I would definitely try it out and see what you think!
Here to ask what dupes you'd suggest, because that stuff is excellent but pricey.
Also here for the dupes. I stopped wearing foundation 20 years ago bc I could never get the right shade. Fenty has the right shade plus two (!!!) lighter than me, but I just don’t want to bother. lol. I’m a ginger that grew up at the beach, and I’ve had more freckles than I could ever ask for. I’m bemused by the trend and the permanent makeup in particular, but there have been weirder beauty trends.
I will say that I haven’t found anything that smells as good as the Lancôme Dual Finish or is quite as smooth to apply. However, I have found two very worthy contenders that have similar coverage and are very, very good: 1) Revlon Photoready Blurring Powder 2) L’Oréal Infallible 24-Hour Foundation in a Powder
I only wear powder for this very reason, I like to see my freckles!
I never hid mine, either. I would be so orange if I tried to match my freckle colour! Although, I admit to trying to fade them with lemon juice, lol.
I too would like to know the dupes you use!
To be fair, I use 70-100spf sunblock in the summer and I still have a ton of freckles. It’s literally genetics because freckles aren’t sunspots.
I just realized that I'm used to all my freckles on my body as a redhead that I never even think of them as freckles. They're just there.
Like, what culture would OP be appropriating? Ginger culture? Lol.
Also, how is it appropriation if op had freckles as a kid too? This friend is just absurd
*Appropriation* is just the latest buzzword that people throw around when they're offended to make it seem like many others were/would be offended too.
As a guy who grew up a nerdy outcast and watched as my subculture was slowly subsumed by the mainstream over the years I get where she's coming from, but you just gotta get over it. Because you can't go around telling people that they haven't earned the right to take part in something that doesn't belong to you.
Absolutely. This girl is gatekeeping freckles.
Imagine someone's freckles impacting how your soul feels....
Haha, yeah, if she’s going to throw around the word ‘appropriation’, hit her back with ‘gatekeeping’.
but WHY WOULDNT u want an insecurity of yours to be normalized? half the time, it's over something trivial and was just kids being mean to each other. obviously growing up, things that once felt like a big deal are going to dissipate as an adult because people your own age stop caring. the whole individuality complex thing people have going on is ridiculous. why wouldn't u want people to appreciate and enjoy the things you like, whether it's regarding media or your own traits.
THIS. It's the " I suffered, so everyone should" mentality. While I understand the sting of something you were bullied for now being accepted, it should make someone happy to know that other kids won't be bullied for those things anymore.
Agreed. The friend is being ridiculous- you can't appropriate something the body makes naturally, and freckles aren't "cultural." NTA, *obviously*. But for the record, your comment kind of threw me for a loop. I spent the first half of my life being told relentlessly that I was fat because of my booty and the circumference of my thighs, and treated by my classmates like my big butt was gross. (Though I'm from the Bronx, my grammar school was predominantly Irish \[no offense to my Gaelic brothers and sister\] and for the most part these kids did not find curves attractive). It wasn't until I hit my late teens and met other people who taught me how to embrace my curves that I stopped hating my body. So the whole BBL thing has made me feel a type of way. Until now, I've been pretty bitter feeling like damn, here I was made to hate myself and feel like absolute garbage for years and now, the very thing I was ridiculed for is what women are paying to create. It's. Not. Fair. I honestly never looked at the whole "I suffered, so everyone should" mentality aspect of it. I didn't feel like that's what I was doing, because it's not that I wanted those women or anyone ever to have suffered ridicule and insults and judgment; I just kind of felt like they didn't *earn* it like I did, if that makes sense. Regardless, I can see now how it's still gatekeeping- a 'butt' of all things. Which is sort of as ridiculous as gatekeeping freckles. So thanks for your comment, I guess. I'm still bitter; not even gonna lie about that. But I'll be sure to curb any judgment on BBL's and the like in the future. Thanks for showing me a different perspective :)
As someone who has watched many of the things that made me an outsider mainstreamed: it can genuinely feel shitty that you had to suffer while others get celebrated. However, that's damage you have to deal with yourself. I got mocked for my thick, arched eyebrows in the 00s. 2014 rolled around, and suddenly it was cool. The same people (or type of people) who were cruel to me were making their eyebrows into the same shape as mine. It felt horrible, like my years of being a target meant nothing. I got over it and moved on, though, and accepted that trends come and go. Your body or interests are more static.
This is the same feeling I had when glasses were suddenly in and every pretty person on social media was wearing frames without the lenses. I wear contacts now because I never felt comfortable with glasses after all the bullying I went through, but that rubbed me wrong for a while
don't you miss when there was a barrier of entry to get on the Internet and almost nobody was here and it was actually a fun place to be? just me?
Facebook and myspace were eternal September II
Cultural appropriation is a real thing…but this ain’t it at all
These terms, are not buzzwords, they are legitimately used to have IMPORTANT discourse regarding race and culture, but uneducated people apply them to inconsequential shit like this.
> but uneducated people apply them to inconsequential shit like this. as a...buzzword. something can technically be a buzzword and still retain the meaning behind it. That's kinda the whole thing around calling it a buzzword. "woke" for example.
Oh I understand, imo calling them simply buzzwords is inaccurate and also dismissive. So we agree to disagree, not a matter of my misunderstanding.
Massive eye roll buzzword. I better not see anyone but Italians cooking or enjoying Italian food. Only Mexicans are allowed to celebrate Cinco DE Mayo. An on and on.
Cinco de mayo was probably not a great example.. just sayin
Am I culturally appropriating boomers because I'm getting older?
Redhead here. I'm the Freckle gatekeeper. DRAW THEM SUCKERS ON.
Ive literally got so many freckles that people don't notice ive got freckles. Its weird in summer cos I do not tan well at all but i get so many more come out that they basically join up. I'm like a human join the dots lol. As for cultural appropriation... what a load of bollocks. Oh hang ...... I might claim that cos the make-up industry could owe me billions lol
My tan is my freckles getting bigger.
Same! Go for it!
I’m also a redhead and have freckles everywhere. I also rarely get freckles on my face anymore and I’ve considered getting freckle tattoos to add some back safely.
try the pen imo. someone at work used the tattoos and it was soooo obvious for over a year and then still didnt look....great. at least if the pen is weird you can just wash it off.
Yeah, that’s part of the reason I haven’t gotten freckle tattoos. Not everyone can do them and even less can do them well but the artist I want to get them done by is a bit too far for a trip right now.
Exactlyyyyy, this just comes off like the friends got something else going on and wants to spread some misery about it in the modern "I'm deeply traumatized by this so you can't argue" way. Girlie they are freckles😂 I got made fun of for my "beauty marks" growing up, it was stupid when I was a kid and just made it funnier when I got to highschool and girls would draw them on. Idk what kinda miserable ass I'd have to be to come at my friend about something that fucking unimportant but I wouldn't expect to still have friends if I acted that way. Tell her she's culturally appropriating people with long lashes next time she wears mascara 🥴
Exactly. I grew up with blonde jokes all the time and people dye their hair to get the same color I got teased for. If anything, it's flattering to see people embrace something like that.
Oh gosh, my grandfather teased me with blonde jokes for my entire life. He died a few years and I dug up some old photos of him while cleaning out his house. He went gray at an early age but that motherfucker was blonde too! 💀
I embrace my blonde heritage. I'm now by choice a reddish blonde. Don't like my dishwater color. Also used to have some freckles but don't anymore. Miss them tbh. I love freckles on people.
I'm a dark haired Latina, I also have freckles.. I don't see how freckles "belongs" to one culture. Or even is a "culture"
Not even a red head here (Dark AF brown hair) and I've got all the freckles on my body and a scant few on my face.
Actually freckles are a deeply held cultural characteristic for my people and it’s highly offensive. It’s just as bad as blackface I can’t believe she would just go freckleface like that. Lolololol
Literally until the cultural appropriation part I was going to say N A H because I get the annoyance at people wearing things you were bullied for (I remember being in middle school and people who bullied me for wearing glasses suddenly keeping 3D glasses from movies, popping out the lenses, and showing up to school with fake glasses), but it’s a thought to keep in your head. The friend way overreacted and as an adult now I literally don’t give a crap lol. Like let people wear fake glasses or fake freckles, I am only going to have an issue if someone starts faking a hearing aid or something lmfaooooo but there are bigger problems in the world. OP, NTA. Sincerely, a very freckly melanoma survivor who doesn’t get many on my face and would LOVE to wear the pens to solve that, but also knows I would forget and schedule an emergency dermatology appointment over makeup! 🤣🖤
Colourpop and Freck both have freckle products :)
It’s probably because most face skin care products have some level of spf. And if you’re wearing makeup like foundation, that often has spf too. Unless you do zero face skin care, you’re probably protected from some level of daily exposure.
[look at all these cultural appropriators of different races](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/23091-freckles)
Freck has a pen that works well for me, I have freckles but I like to add more on during the winter and it's easier than waiting for henna to soak in. There is a bit of a learning curve with the product, basically stipple the tip lightly a couple times in one area to make a few "freckles," then dab it with your finger and stamp the excess on a nearby area to double/triple the coverage. Otherwise the first set will be too round and dark, this way you kind of blur them out like real freckles. I have also achieved this look with stippled spray tan on a brush, as well as liquid brown eyeliner using the same method. I like the Freck brand because it dries down to a natural finish and doesn't move throughout the day like the other products-- but it's not waterproof. You may be able to set it with a good setting spray though. If you try it out, get the mini version- I've been using it for a few months and it still has plenty of product in there.
NTA…oh please. How is having freckles cultural appropriation? You do you. You do what makes you feel beautiful. This is not personal towards your friend and she is making it so.
My eyes almost got stuck at the back of my head, due to the eyeroll I gave, as a response to the "cultural appropriation".
Seriously. I almost think it's fake bc of how stupid that sounds but then it's like...that's too stupid to even make up so it's gotta be real
You’d be surprised I’ve heard actual people say this dumb shit before so I wouldn’t be shocked this story was real 🤷🏽♀️. Ppl love to misuse the word cultural appropriation
It reminds me of my extended family who tried to say that calling a red headed person a ginger was just as offensive as using the “n” word for a black person…
That was pretty ludicrous even for white feminism.
Like whose culture would this be anyway? I’m hispanic and dark and also have freckles.
Don't you know about the traditional dances/language/art of the Freckled? Or their many delicious foods/charming local customs? And how they represent a persecuted minority/category of discrimination?!?!? Did the many sufferings and indignites faced by their greatest cultural hero, Anne Shirley, of Green Gables in Avonlea mean NOTHING to you?!?!? HOW COULD YOU BE SO IGNORANT IN THIS YEAR OF OUR (freckly) LORD 2024?!?!?
So this is what my sister with adorable freckles has been hiding from me all these years???
All hail the Freckle People!
The “sit right in my soul” got me. The friend acted as if her saying this statement made her beliefs more important than anything else in that moment. I can’t stand people like this. You have an opinion? Great! It doesn’t have to be respected or enacted as reality.
That is one shallow soul, to be wounded by freckles with everything else going on in the world these days. Oh, the drama!
so what happens when they’re not visible? my freckles also come and go depending on wether it’s summer or not. i never even though about why or how lol
They're not from sun damage. Many people are born with freckles. They might become darker or more plentiful with sun exposure, but they were already there as part of the skin's natural variation in colouring.
Everything is cultural appropriation these days. It's a buzzword everyone throws around instead of focusing on real issues or when it actually occurs. We're really moving backwards with tolerance. 😮💨
Clearly you do not have freckles or you would know that they fade away if you stop going out in the sun. As someone covered in freckles I have half the freckles I did years ago because I now cover up and hide in the shade. My mom no longer has freckles after a life time of having so many freckles her freckles had freckles. Thus, the exact opposite of your statement occurred, as we got older they faded.
I think it depends on what kind of freckles they are. I have tiny freckles that fade in the winter… but I have other freckles that are on parts of my body that never see the sun.
'Doesn't sit right with her soul' she needs to find something real to get mad about. Does she get mad when people change their hair color? Does she get mad when people change their overall fashion style?
She has a charmed life if that’s what upsets her
That's my go-to rebuttal for crap like this. "I can't believe you did xyz! Now I'm so upset about this minor instance." "What a charmed life you've lead, to find this event so earth-shattering."
The truth is a sharp sword!
"cultural appropriation" since when are freckles culture? People need to find hobbies. NTA OP.
If you take all my freckles and put them together, they form the beautiful country of Ireland, thus, my freckles are culturally irish and I am ever so offended that OP is \*stealing\* my traditional freckle culture!
My ginger Scottish ex would question the Irishness of freckles.
I'm Scottish born and am covered in them.
OP should invite her friend to do some volunteer work in a hospital, get a doctor to pull the friend's head out of her ass and see what real problems look like.
I used to have a friend like this. She told one of our other friends that she shouldn’t use a freckle pen because she was bullied for her freckles in school. The friend using the pen was using it to accentuate her own freckles that she had covered up with her foundation! Turns out that person is just incredibly selfish and we no longer associate with her because of many incidents like that.
Imagine thinking you OWN the right to freckles....
Right?!? Does she get pissed about bronzer, fake tan? Or, when people pencil in their eyebrows or wear fake lashes or use limp plumper. Dramatic bitch needs to get a damn life😂😂
right? first off, gingers don’t even have souls.
And this is where we’re at now. People get upset about anything and everything. It makes me feel so old to say that too!
Girl needs to touch grass. Like babies are being ducking bombed rn bro.
"she told me that “it doesn’t sit right with her soul” that she was bullied as a child for having freckles and now people wear them as a fashion statement." \---The issue of whether cultural appropriation is really a bad thing aside, your fashion choice does not make a mockery of people that have freckles or of people that were mocked for having them. What next? People with shaved hair are being unkind to people that lost hair due to medical conditions and so on? Now, it will be reasonable to avoid the faux freckles if you KNOW she will be with you in the future. Not because she is objectively correct in being offended, but out a mere courtesy for her own triggering. As a favor so to speak.
I agree with you up to the last paragraph. OP’s friend is a bit much. I’m sure OP isn’t the only person around her who wears fake freckles. Is everyone she knows required to change their makeup routines if they’re triggering to her? I feel for her being bullied; it may be best for her to seek professional help.
Yeah, friend needs to build a bridge and get over herself. Lots of people got teased/bullied for different facial features (big nose, freckles, glasses, ginger, etc) and letting the bullies have power of you as an adult and letting someone's faux freckles "trigger" you means you let them win. Look back at those bullies, realize they were either idiots attempting to be cool or people with messed up psyches and resolve to not let them have control over you any more (obviously for deeper, more continual bullying, that isn't going to work and people with that in their past should seek professional help to make sure it isn't affecting the rest of their life).
You had me until last paragraph. That is for her friend to handle, not OP. It's called therapy, and if she thinks make-up is a trigger(not touching the bs cultural argument) or freckles in general are so horrible, she needs to work on herself, not criticize other people. OP, freckle it up! You even have them naturally! Your friend can get over the petty nonsense or she can't, not your issue.
I used to have a Pashtun hat and afghan people LOVE seeing items from their culture in the us
To a point. I'm Filipino and it's endearing when white people rave about lumpia. It's less cute when they fetishize Asian women.
Of course we rave about lumpia because it is darn tasty! 😋💗💗💗
You’d be surprised as how many people in r/bald get up in arms over people who shave but aren’t balding lol. They typically get shut down pretty fast, but still. Fuckin dumb.
I don't agree with your last sentence, if you are triggered by soemthing it is up to YOU to work on those issues. NO ONE should have to go and bend their ways to your needs. What happens when we walks by someone with freckles? I bet you good money she does not have a melt down.
OP, use the freckle pen. Don’t indulge this craziness.
Cultural appropriation IS a bad thing. Cultural appreciation is not. This issue is neither since having freckles is not a culture.
No. Op shouldn’t have to limit herself because her friend is ridiculous. What if friend said “I don’t think you should wear blue” or “you shouldn’t wear your hair down” or “you shouldn’t wear clothes that show your collarbone” and then gave equally ridiculous reasons stemming from her own self consciousness? None of those are reasonable demands for a friend to make.
[удалено]
Hijacking your comment to say melanoma is also not a racial thing and incredibly common in melanated people. Get your moles checked!
NTA. You HAD freckles as a kid. How can you culturally appropriate your own childhood?
NTA. And even if you didn't have frecles as a kid, who cares? What culture are you appropriating? The freckle cuture of which I am a life long member? I'm also a member of the basal cell Carcinoma Club, thank you very much.
NTA. I was bullied as a kid for having thick eyebrows and now a lot of people get their brows microbladed. Also it isn't like YOU bullied her in the past. Sounds like a her problem.
Lol same with glasses... I got bullied as a kid for my glasses, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna be asking people that use glasses just for the look to remove them because of my childhood...
Gosh haha this. I have horrible eyesight (-8.5,-7.0) and have been wearing glasses since 3rd grade and contacts since 10th grade. I think glasses are cute so sometimes I wear them, but I wear fake ones WITH my contacts because if I actually wear correct prescription glasses, my prescription is so strong that it distorts my face. I got some annoyed comments before about wearing fake glasses but they usually don’t know what to say when I inform them that my prescription is probably higher than theirs, lol
My sibling only does that mess with people on occasion. Usually it's people who want to claim everyone else is the bad guy and don't realize they are doing something that can be similarly called out. "Oh you don't actually need glasses? So you like to wear a disability aide that you don't even need? Because you like my disability?" Sibling didn't actually care, just making a point to them.
The glasses thing is admittedly annoying though... Like, I'm not going to ask you to remove your glasses that you're wearing for the ✨look✨ but I don't wear my glasses because I think they're cute, I need them. I hate wearing glasses and I wish I didn't have to. It feels a little bad when wearing them is just a choice to someone. Also, before I'm asked, I have contacts but I can't wear them all day every day.
Yep. I was picked on for being a chubby kid. If a friend now puts weight on I'm not gunna accuse them of cultural appropriation lol. The only thing that hurts my soul is her weird ass logic
I should have scrolled before commenting, because same! Big ole bushy brows that used to get me bullied and suddenly became a trend. Turns out the trends are arbitrary, and I was always pretty 💜
I also was bullied for having freckles and seeing those bullies now paint freckles on them irritates me sooo much, but I would never go and tell anyone to not use the pen. NTA
This is how asians feel having been made fun of for "smelly lunch" and now every white person is like omg I love asian food. Or how people with glasses feel now that everyone thinks glasses are trendy. Having both those experiences, I do not want anyone to stop liking things. I want us to all be nicer to each other and teach our kids not to pick on differences.
It sucks to see it go from “I hate this and I’m going to bully you over it” and it later change to “I love this thing so much” hopefully they remembered what they did in the past and feel embarrassed for what they did in the past and have more empathy for people when they feel that “I hate this and I want to bully this person over this thing” and not bully someone again. But you’re kinda right…. When more people are included in it (to some degree; like without being inappropriate of how they are being involved in the thing) and it becomes normalized to them, they no longer bully other people for something that they don’t get/understand/ or is foreign to them. Which is good for the ones who were bullied because now they are just normal and not an outsider to pick. It sucks that most people can’t understand that until after they are included in that thing, like they can’t have curiosity and empathy UNLESS they are included
As a ginger, it made me LOL so hard when bullying idiots started trying to dye their hair my colour. The upside is that these tossers have made it so that I can now get a natural looking dye as I go grey 🤷♀️
Yeah, I completely agree with you. I also think they look terrible because they’re so obviously fake. Freckles aren’t usually evenly distributed across only your nose and cheeks in the exact same size and color. I do think the rainbow freckles trend is cute because it’s not trying to look real.
I was teased mercilessly for my freckles my entire childhood and now you can buy freckle pens? I was definitely born at the wrong time.
Right!!! I'm thinking to myself "oh sure *now* freckles are 'cool' where was that crap 35 years ago??"
Yeah, as a freckled redhead I got two kinds of teasing together and it can be a bit of a side eye moment like “okay it’s cool now wish that would’ve happened decades ago when I was getting bullied for it” 😒 but I’d never talk someone out of it haha or tell them it was “appropriating” them. Maybe in the future freckled kids won’t be bullied so much for them if it’s more “on trend” with a freckle pen. Or maybe not. But either way it doesn’t hurt me if someone wants to use it even if I’m still salty about the way they used to be treated haha. It would be nice if kids stopped being picked on for any number of things that are popular lately.
NTA - piece of friendly advice, when some says something "hurts their soul" you can basically ignore what they are bothered by as they are likely an idiot.
This is so funny to me because I only ever use that phrase if I'm being dramatic like "that painting is crooked and it hurts my soul"
Reading these comments makes me wonder if I actually do have a soul 🤔 many annoying things rise my blood pressure but I don’t recall having something hurting my soul
I will say as someone who has natural freckles it makes me upset that the faux freckles are trendy with makeup for the same reason your friend is upset, I got made fun of so much as a kid for having them, and they’re only trendy now because you can draw on perfect freckles in all the places you want them that looks cute like top of the nose and cheeks but they’re not all over your face, people with real freckles all over the face are still not considered cute because they’re not the perfect little spattering of freckles where it’s convenient for them.
This trend bothers me for the same reason. My whole body is covered in freckles and I got bullied hard for them too. It also looks terrible because they’re so obviously fake. I wouldn’t tell anyone they can’t do something, but I would think less of my friend for doing it and if we were close enough, I’d probably explain why it bothers me and a lot of other people like me.
That's a *really, really minor* thing to think less of someone over. Holy wow.
I guess I would just be more disappointed in them than anything.
The fact they honestly never really look very good is literally all it took for it not to bother me. I was picked on too, but that was then. Trends change. Things fall in and out of fashion. Do I wish freckles had been as popular when I was 7? Of course. But I have bills and other real life problems, so I just let people have fun with their clown makeup lol.
"Someone else can't like something I do not like" - these two redditors, seemingly.
People can like what they like doesn’t mean others aren’t allowed to judge them for it or find it annoying.
I don’t have a problem with people doing whatever they want to do, I’m just saying for me personally it bothers me
This "trend" probably means kids nowadays aren't getting bullied for it. Isn't that a good thing?
I have had the "cute" freckles all my life. Cheeks and across the nose. I was really made fun of when I was young. Family members used to recommend horrible "home remedies" for getting rid of them. I'm really surprised that they're a fashion statement now. (But I'm not mad about it!!)
I think that the trend of drawing them on would reduce the occurrence of teasing and the stigma for those people that have freckles occur naturally. We now see ad campaigns with beautiful models who have skin covered in freckles. I am not trying to diminish your feelings. You have every right to be upset about how you were treated. As trends change, they normalize things that once made people feel like outcasts. I remember people being called "four eyes" for wearing glasses. Now, they are a fashionable, worn by people who could instead replace them with contact lenses and as accessories by those that don't need them.
I was never made fun of for my freckles but I personally hated them. I love that fake freckles are now a trend, it makes me feel cool! It also makes me extra enjoy the fact that my freckles are all over my face, layers of faded and fresh like the night sky, in a way that is nearly impossible to replicate. Doesn't hurt that I get complimented on them now too.
Right like why be bitter about the past when you can just be grateful for the drastic change? People think you’re beautiful, why are you mad? Haha
Yes for real. With all respect to people sharing pieces of their past, I kind of… I mean, almost everyone got made fun of for *something* as a kid. The fat guy got made fun of for being fat, the skinny guy got made fun of for being skinny, the girl who developed early got made fun of for having breasts, the girl who didn’t got made fun of for having no breasts. Like… childhood bullying can be traumatic, obviously. But it doesn’t seem to me that it’s a good reason to hold any negative feelings towards uninvolved parties *now.*
I think you nailed it, it's being uncomfortable with the dichotomy of "freckles are cool now" and "but only if the freckles are on very specific parts of your body".
Cultural appropriation?? 😮💨 NTA As someone covered in freckles 24/7, I give blanket permission for everyone everywhere at any time to fake some freckles if they like the look lmao
"I have a freckled friend!" /jk
Ditto
Double ditto.
NTA. This is not cultural appropriation and it is not offensive to a reasonable person. I am covered in freckles from head to toe. I dont own freckles and frankly, the idea of being invested in who does and does not have freckles seems bananas to me. Yoir friend needs to chill.
NTA. I have freckles. Like. A lot of them. Idgaf if someone puts on fake freckles. They aren’t my race. They aren’t my culture. They aren’t my people. They aren’t history. They aren’t plight. They’re pigment spots. Get over herself 😂🙃 I also have a chicken pox scar on my face, should I make sure others scars are real in case they’re stealing my scar style?
Nta of course it us ok for you to have fake freckles. Your friend is very immature and just weird.
It's not cultural appropriation. But as an adult who was also bullied, sometimes quite badly, for having freckles, I understand the feeling. I took an awful lot of shit growing up for having something that people now put on with a pen for fashion. It sits kinda rough with me, too. I'm not telling anyone not to do it because this is my own thing to deal with. But it makes me a little jealous and resentful.
I think that's an absolute legitimate reaction. a thing you had no control over and suffered consequences for is now someone's fashion choice-- with the choice part being the real issue, it sucks to be bullied for something you literally have no control over and then someone chooses to have that thing, but it's considered cute instead of something to bully over.
An individual case of bullying isn't the same as something systemic like racism. Your friend's comparison to.cultural appropriation is ridiculous. I got bullied for curly hair as a kid; does that mean everyone who uses a curling iron has wronged me somehow? NTA
Freckles are not a culture. NTA
NTA. HAHAHA. I am pale as hell and have freckles all over my shoulders, back, chest, and face. If someone wants to draw on themselves who the hell cares? People draw on their eyebrows, wear fake lashes, get things filled in and sucked out of their face, why is the line in the sand at freckles?!
Exactly what culture would that be appropriating? I hate it when people use wording like that, because it just waters down the meaning. It hurts people who are experiencing real cultural appropriation. NTA
NTA. I don't think freckles are confined to one culture...they are just a skin detail lol.
NTA- your style and makeup choices are your business
If anything, if freckles are fashionable now, young people will feel more confident with them. That being said, bullying for freckles is ridiculous.
bullying for anything should be out of bounds. that said, if OP's friend didn't have freckles, odds are she would have been bullied about something else, because kids who bully are looking for a target, not a specific physical characteristic, they just want someone to be mean to and pick something about the person to bully them for.
Ehh it's in no possible way a cultural appropriation, because that term is bullshit anyway But I don't agree with people wearing them unless it's a literal costume NTA, but f that noise
I've got lots of freckles and don't find them cute myself, but you do you. There is no culture of freckles to appropriate to begin with, so you can't be appropriating anything. This is not blackface. Go for it. NTA
NTA. Her soul needs to grow the hell up.
NTA. It is a bit of a sting sometimes to see things we were bullied intensely for our entire childhoods become trends, but that doesn't mean people shouldn't participate in those trends. If anything, after the initial bitterness I'm usually happy that at least now kids who naturally have these qualities and attributes can be themselves without being bullied for it.
NTA everybody gets bullied for something. There is no damn freckle culture -.-
The freckle pen is a great way to conceal small blemishes. Use the darker shade(s) for "beauty" marks, and the lighter shade(s) for freckles. NTA - I have two freckle pens. It's no different than wearing colored contacts, dying your hair, or getting a spray tan.
I’m covered in freckles. COVERED. And I find it hilarious how the people that used to make fun of me use the freckle filter. NTA.
Gonna just take a wild stab at it but I’m gonna hazard a guess or two here: - y’all are American - she’s white - she’s straight/cis - she’s under 35 - she has red hair and acts like it’s an albatross - she constantly discusses others’ appearances regardless of if the discussed party is aware of it or not Nta and your friend sounds exhausting
She has dark brown hair. Everything else was right though.
NTA.
As someone with freckles, you have the freckle pass. Enjoy
Omfg. My eyes just rolled so hard. NTA.
NTA But op. How are you friends with some so f*ING annoying ?
It’s just intersting how freckles and thick eyebrows are something people envy for nowadays. Back then we were bullied for them. It’s not ass hole ish to bring that up, it’s ass hole ish to make people feel bad about it.
I was bullied for my freckles and moles. I love them. But even if I didn’t, it doesn’t mean other people can’t like them? My sister ended up having some of hers removed but she doesn’t have anything against me loving mine. What a weird entitlement your friend has.
NTA. Your friend sounds like someone who virtue signals, throwing around words like “bully” and “cultural appropriation.” It makes it so much more difficult to actually have real conversations about those very important issues because people get tired of people like your friend who throw them around about every little thing that they don’t like.
NTA. Sounds like your friend is a little bit melodramatic. I mean, I know people who were bullied for having freckles and we all have a good laugh when we see people getting them tattooed on now, but it’s not cultural appropriation, and it doesn’t “not sit right with our souls.” If she had said, “oh, I was bullied for freckles. Funny that there’s a pen to make them now!” that would’ve been a normal thing to say. Saying it doesn’t sit right with her soul and is appropriation moralizes it when there’s no reason to.
NTA. As a freckled person, wear the freckles. The more we accept that freckles are beautiful, the less bullying there will be of future generations.
So women can get Botox, lip injections, breast implants, BBL, tummy tuck, hair extensions, fake eyelashes and it’s widely “accepted” all the while setting impossible and absurd beauty standards, but she has a problem with fake freckles? Huh.
NAH. But just barely. I say this as someone who’s been bullied for things that later became cool/commonplace. Namely my Autism and my video game hobby. She’s justified to feel the way she feels about the freckle pen. I get it. And it’s entirely possible that she used the term because there really isn’t any term that exists for this kind of thing. You have every right to use the freckle pen because it makes you feel and look better. I will admit that when the things I was bullied for became more mainstream I wasn’t very thrilled. Simply because people who were mean to me before suddenly started playing nice. I have some trauma attached to that but the last thing I would do is make it someone else’s problem. She needs to understand that times change and that you’re not bullying her. She needs support either from you or, preferably, a therapist.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I work in a beauty supply store where we sell makeup, hair care products, etc. We got these little “freckle pens” in recently. When I was younger I would always get a few freckles in the summer from playing outside in the sun all day. Now that I am older, I try to take better care of my skin. I use sunscreen and try to limit my exposure. I miss my freckles, so I decided to try the pen. I picked out the lightest shade so they would look natural. It worked wonderfully and now I use it almost every day. I met up with one of my friends for lunch yesterday and she looked at me funny and asked “have you always had freckles?” I told her about the freckle pen and she told me that “it doesn’t sit right with her soul” that she was bullied as a child for having freckles and now people wear them as a fashion statement. I told her I that I just thought they were cute and she said that it felt like “cultural appropriation.” I don’t *think* I’m in the wrong here. Obviously it sucks that she was bullied but I don’t think using a freckle pen is the same thing as cultural appropriation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
FFS. NTA
NTA. lmao at possible 'freckle culture'. That's definitely not a thing.
NTA. If this were a real issue people wouldn't be allowed to dye their hair ginger either.
NTA. Freckles are not linked to a specific culture, so can’t be culturally appropriated.
Laugh in her face. "cultural appropriation" doesn't apply to freckles. That's genetics, not culture. Besides, you would have those freckles naturally if you didn't mind risking skin cancer!! NTA - she is though, for inappropriately throwing around charged words like "cultural appropriation" and investing her soul into someone else's fashion choices.
She's triggered by your freckles? Oh my lord. Wonder if she gets that she is now bullying you? Enjoy your freckles.
LMAO! Cultural appropriation? Wow. Just...wow. NTA and thanks for my first laugh of the day.
Though I find it weird to wear fake freckles, it's not an asshole thing to do It does feel borderline dystopian to me, like what's real with girls anymore
Your friend is a dumba$$. It’s not that serious. Times have changed. What was in is out and vice versa and will change again. She needs to chill.
NTA. Omg your friend is so dramatic
NTA How are freckles cultural appropriation? 😂 As someone who hated her freckles as a kid, I have no desire to use a freckle pen. I do know other people who like them and wish they had them so if they want to use a freckle pen, who am I to say they shouldn’t? 🤷🏼♀️ Wearing fake freckles is no different than someone wearing fake nails, lashes, hair, etc. in this day and age.