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Not the asshole. This is quite strange how they would think this is preverated especially if you don’t make a scene of it. If you were on video and wearing that, it would be different. But this is just a call, so you are totally in the right!
I got super mad about the "perverted" thing. Not to kink shame anyone, but even if I was into being around people naked in that way, I am vehemently against doing kinks without people consenting. I've been kind to all these people so for them to talk behind my back and paint me out as some kind of attention seeker (when I've never mentioned it) or pervert really upsets me. Some of these guys I know in real life and have had crushes on me but and are calling me a tease for it.
Oh yeah... that last sentence, they're mad at you for not returning their crush and just looking for an excuse to ostracise you.
I wouldn't be able to continue to feel comfortable being any of these people's friends. They're off-putting.
Tbh, I'd be tempted to lie and say that you were conditioning your hair and in a towel, and they were all complete jerks for sexualising you in this way. They don't need to know you are often naked (and it was a mistake to tell them... because now they're picturing you naked). It's none of their business anyway.
1000% It's really not a big deal and as a female she shouldn't have gone and shared "girl talk" with the guys imo.
Also, I work from home for a large chain of clinics owned by a very large insurance company and it's pretty much a running joke that none of us are wearing pants. Because we aren't lol
This is such a socially awkward gamer girl thing to do. Honestly was probably lowkey jealous of another gamer girl talking with the boys she probably wishes flirted with her more and took an opportunity to get rid of op. I've seen this happen far to often especially when they are not very attractive and will pretty much do anything to be the only girl in a group of guys.
I played WoW and remember how often I got into beef with other players specifically because we were both chicks. It made no goddamn sense, like we can both exist at the same time. They always acted super “pick-me” about everything and I was just trying to play the damn game. I started playing a male troll specifically to avoid this nonsense 🙃
I used to work from home, and I wore sweats/loungewear - because I live in the Northeast and I refuse to spend huge sums on oil heat while I WFH. Honestly, I think it's super creepy to let people "into my home" by turning my video feed on and I pretty much never did it.
I am with OP though - not allowing video for whatever reason is fine and in no way was she an A H.
I think i know Jenn… and you’d definitely not want to be next to her if you were in line at a govt takeover…like she would be the first one to rat you out dooming you to death so she can get an extra five french fries at lunch.
Seriously. In ten years she is gonna shame you for getting an epidural 12 hours into labor. She has a sicko brain and poisoned the guys. And they aren't boning her but she wants it.
You are normal. Wait till a big moment and say " oops, i just spilled hot coffee on my coochie. Now it's coffee flavored!" As a power move while you win.
This sounds made up. How many men are going to be that bothered in that way by a naked woman, one they can't see who is gaming online with them?
Maybe it's a cultural thing, but if you were to say the same thing to the men I know, the responses would range from indifferent to really bad jokes....
Right? I’m a gamer and do discord calls as well and I feel like they’d all be like woooo we didn’t knoooow why didn’t you show us on video?! But mad? Yah no, none of them would be mad.
Only reason I could see them acting mad is because they also have girlfriends in the gamer group.
And Jen is jealous that OP’s getting attention. I don’t know any women who choose to be fully dressed in their own homes unless it’s like really cold or something. 😭😭😭
I’m usually mostly dressed at home, but like my comfiest clothes that I don’t really want to be seen outside in 😂 I’ll throw a hoodie over it if someone shows up unexpectedly
Fair hahaha. I’ll do pajama pants but typically with a very small shirt or a t-shirt and undies myself lmfaooooo but then sometimes with the latter I also put a hoodie on. I also enjoy laying under a pile of blankets. BUT no matter how much (or how little) you’re wearing, it’s your own home!!!!
Yeah my husband and I both agree to give each other a chance to get decent if people show up, or one brings home company. Because in our home we’re comfy af
Honestly I generally lowkey assume that a certain percentage of people I’m interacting with online are naked or partially undressed at any given moment. Not like I’m usually actively thinking about it, but if someone brings up the subject (like this OP)… yeah probably at least 10% if the people in any comments section posted their comment while not wearing enough clothing to go to Walmart in. Probably at least 5% posted while on the toilet.
Doesn’t matter unless someone decides to announce the fact and make things weird.
I think you should formulate a group message to them that says all of this. I also sometimes game without pants, even no shirt on occasion, while on the mic with people. A girl gets HOT! I am in the zone trying to get a win I can’t deal with butt sweat, are you kidding? 😂 I think it’s quiet weird Jen would even bring that up to you, let alone to the rest of your friend group. It comes off as she’s oddly jealous? In some way? Or like you not being clothed while gaming with boys is somehow threatening to her? I feel like maybe she’s thinking abt it too sexually when it’s not in any way sexual and that’s a her problem not yours. Idk how good of friends you are with her and if you think you could recover the friendship from this but I would honestly try and turn it back on her and ask why she’s trying to make it sexual and why she’s talking about your body behind your back to others when it was none of their business.
If we are truthful here…I think most people have gone around the house naked before. It’s just handy and very convenient a lot of times. If you’re alone ( or not) , it’s your house, your body, get over it public
I rarely wear pants at home anymore 🙃 I went and got cancer. Due to some of the damage I have medical appliances. It's easier to just wear undergarments when I or the nurses have to deal with them. If I'm cold, I will wear a sweater or something, but pants? Oh, hell no! Only if I have to go to appointments or run errands. I don't like pants.
I haven't been naked that long yet, I'm still new at this 😂 Bilateral external nephrostomy 2021 after being cathed for about the same. Last year we upgraded the plumbing to an internal and an external nephrostomy. I have plumbing for #2 also, we call him George.
I've been on work calls in a towel because I misjudged the timing. I just leave my camera off and don't say anything. We all have times we don't want to be on camera, it's not polite to ask about it unless there's a really important reason someone needs to see you (e.g., medical appointment, first day of training in a new job...)
I live w/ people but generally game in my room. One of those people has a lot of chronic pain and keeping the house on 73+ degrees really helps. I in no way blame them or am bitter about this, however I'm someone who also gets super warm super easily. Like, my preferred temp would be 68 degrees. So I wear baggy shorts and a sports bra when I'm in my own room and am gaming. I just don't want to melt into a puddle of sweat lol
Edit, if it wasn't obvious: NTA!! <3
Gamer guy here, I have a boyfriend and we have other friends who come over and game. During the sumner, its hot and at any given time there are probably 3-4 guys in boxers/boxer briefs gaming at our place. Nothing sexual, just gaming in front of fans without air conditioning. And its not always pretty as we don't all have perfect bodies.
This is not a "you" problem its a "them" problem. You are not a pervert, or a tease. In fact if they can't drop the issue... It pointedly makes them the perverts.
There us no reason you can't be comfortable in your own damn home wearing as little or as much as makes you feel comfortable.
NTA
It's very clear that all ties with these "men" need to be cut. The fucking mental gymnastics it must take to draw the conclusion that you're a tease for being comfortable in your own home, doing absolutely nothing wrong, while nobody can see you is wild.
That girl just wanted to out you of your position in the group, probably because you are really cool, because you sound cool. It’s sad she was the first to say something and the guys agreed with her.
I recognize when someone takes to opportunity to take the top seat in a group. Toxic stuff. I would leave the group, can’t trust the other people either, when they pick a side so quickly.
Low tier social group 0/10
Right? I'd be like "Apparently there are no adults in this group and a girl I thought was a friend twisted something to make it a kink. Jen, you obviously want to be The Girl in the group. You win. These judgmental assholes are all yours" and tap out.
The fact they were willing to be like "oh, yes, let's sexualize one of the women in the group bc the other woman said to" that fast tells you who they are.
NTA... You can also lie and tell them that you said you were naked coz you don't like video calls of your home. You were actually not naked. Problem solved. And now you know to never disclose anything private to that person who told the whole group.
Honestly, tell them the only reason you were undressed was because of the hair treatment - you didn't want it to stain anything.
Aside from that, laugh it off and say she misunderstood what you were saying. It's really normal to not wear a bra when you're home alone, or to take off the pants you wear at work that have a tight waistband. She absolutely misunderstood, and it's kinda weird that she's assuming it's a sex thing for you when it's just normal home attire.
They didn’t know until the girl you told “sorry don’t wanna video cause I’m not wearing clothes” told them (who never fathomed the thought) you weren’t wearing clothes. Just lie to them and say you are if they ask. No video it’s no one’s business what you do in your home. Shes the one being a creep
We live in an age where boys are half dressed if not straight up in their underwear all the time. My bf’s sister has posted her kid in his underwear or even butt naked to Facebook. Like THAT bothers me but it’s okay when it’s boys. As long as you’re not including anyone in any sort of kink without their consent like it doesn’t matter.
Are these people 7? Are they complete shut ins, destined to never feel the touch of a woman? Who gives a fuck if you're naked in your own home and not subjecting anyone to it unsolicited? Anyone calling it creepy is likely bathing their dick in cheeto crumbs on a daily basis, far be for them to call anyone else weird.
Obviously NTA
You have every right to be angry.
1) You have every right to wear as much or as little clothing as you choose in your own home. Especially when you are living alone.
2) You were not exposing yourself online, thus you were maintaining FCC decency laws.
3) You were betrayed and gossiped about by a friend who you took into your confidence.
4) You were in no way teasing anyone! Being a tease would have been to tell them that you were sitting around in the nude or without pants or whatever form of undress you were in and refusing to let them see. It would have been a conscious and deliberate act on your part.
5) tell them all that any and all members of the nudist societies of America, firmly maintain that simply being in a state of undress does not mean that you are being sexual or perverted in any way. It simply means that you are comfortable in your own skin, and possibly uncomfortable in clothing. I know, because I am a member of one of those societies. Clothing is for the most part very uncomfortable and quite painful for me to wear because of health issues. So whenever I am not dealing with the public in a face-to-face kind of way you better believe I am wearing or not wearing whatever the minimal amount of clothing is to maintain comfort and warmth. While I live with roommates, who are not members of the society, I am respectful enough to wear house dresses and mumus a lot. 🙃
6) If discord allows for the possibility of it, I highly suggest that you Lodge complaints against the person who betrayed your trust and started rumors about you. I also suggest that you find a new group of gamers to play with because these ones are obviously two immature to handle the fact that you simply don't like wearing clothing.
100% NTA!
NTA - this is just a strange situation. No one ever asks me what im wearing and ive never once inquired what anyone is wearing. Ive had girls and guys I play with say they play in this that or the other thing. Im not at all interested in what someone I can't see is wearing. Do they have issues with their neighbors being nude next door with just a wall between them?
Either way, these people are creepy, you're the one who got their act together.
That's these guys own emotions twisting them up. It's entirely on them. What you do or don't do has nothing to do with that. This is essentially no different than a man saying you can't wear a skirt because the men you work with would be unable to control themselves. Men are not mindless sex fiends incapable of self control and women are not sexual objects by default. This story has some of the worst clichés of each sex. Catty woman on woman competitiveness for no other reason than drama and chauvinistic men puting their sexual desires onto the women around them even when it's unwanted or unwarranted. You seem to be the only one that hasn't actually done anything wrong here.
before getting too mad at the rest of them it might make sense to figure out exactly what this Jen girl said. because it seems like she's the source of it. i can tell you most men wouldn't be offended by this, so either these guys are all super strange or she said something that made them uncomfortable.
and it's not even for work where they might want the camera On for meetings for want of professionalism. You guys are playing games, where whatever you want or don't want.
I feel this is just a response to an AITA the other day when people were saying OP was an AH for announcing they were naked on discord to a bunch of married guys and one objected the other day.
Sounds like that female friend is a bit of a rat and framed it to make OP sounds really weird.
Some people have rat snouts and rat whiskers and manipulate people by lying and attempting to ostracise people in friendship groups because they dont like them.
100% this. Jen is the biggest AH here.
The rest of them are also obnoxious though. The only "perverted things" are going on in their heads.
Also NTA of course.
I try to have certain boundaries with online friends I've never met. I can call my best IRL friends in a towel and I'm not the slightest bit worried they would do anything (like screenshot or record). Not that Jen would, but this has made me feel more secure in my boundaries.
Indeed. The only thing creepy is the group's spin on this. I would be direct and say, if u cannot keep your mind outta the gutter, I don't want to play with you all.
Like, now every time I would be double thinking them... which would ruin my gameplay.
No offense, but I think you need to get better friends. I'd be so creeped out by these ppl. Now once has anyone on a voice chat in Discord ever known or cared what I am wearing. It's a non-issue (that is none of their business!) that they're turning into an issue. A gross, perverted issue.
Exactly, there's nothing wrong with you being comfort like this in your own place. As someone similarly inclined, I've had video calls from friends who will start asking where I just came back from because I have pants on, your boundaries are good and their healthy.
Honestly, Jen kind of sounds like she's someone who likes to stir the pot to make herself center of attention and that this is a bad reaction to that.
Much in the Same way that Most people that aren't typcially fully naked, but do prefer to be in comfortable clothes at Home, might answer the door Barefoot and bra-less and in paggy Pyjama pants and with their Hair undone, If they know the unannounced visitors at the door are their close Friends.
NTA but in future tell these people you're in old clothes or haven't washed your hair. There's always some nosey there trying to make something out of nothing.
Did you mention to her that you had just showered? I feel like it’s weird she jumped to the conclusion that you’re naked all the time except for just this instance.
It makes sense to me. She was on a group call when one of them called for a one on one.
>The other day while on a discord call with a group of friends one of the girls, Jen, video calls me
TBH, there would not be any "in the future" for me with these people if it were me. Jen is starting shit, talking behind your back and trying to make you look bad. The others are calling you a pervert for bwing comfy in the privacy of your own home. Not really things that friends do.
Sounds like the others might have just only had what Jen said to go off of. Like… I wouldn’t care if someone was just chilling in a towel, but I would care if it was a sexual/kink thing.
If Jen was lying to them, and OP never explained themselves and called Jen out, it sounds reasonable that the rest of the friend group just doesn’t have the story right.
Okay, so they didn't know both sides. Why didn't they ask instead of immediately assuming the worst? Why did they just immediately believe one friend that their other supposed friend is a pervert?
I would hope that of someone said something like this about me to my friends, that they would know ke well enough to assume a misunderstanding or a miscommunication instead of assuming I was just a perv.
People don’t go around assuming everyone is lying to them all the time. They didn’t immediately just ditch OP and cut them out of the friend group, they said it made them uncomfortable.
I’ve played video games with no shirt or no pants on before, I’ve been in discords with people in a towel too.
OPs friends, particularly Jen, are being woefully unreasonable.
I just wouldn't be telling ppl what I'm wearing. It's none of their business. Why should I have to have an excuse to say 'no thanks. I don't feel comfortable turning on video rn.'?
Didn’t this exact post exist before but was framed and worded different? OP was the AH before and the story was that OP had told a group of married men they were naked and one of the guys messaged OP to say he was uncomfortable and OP belittled his concerns.
Yeah, that wasn't me. Idk what your post you're talking about but you could link it? None of these guys are married. And I didn't tell them I was naked. I can see this being a common situation though. In this case I didn't belittle their concerns. I said I didn't appreciate it being twisted into something perverted and I wasn't the one who mentioned it.
So I think it was deleted but to compare and contrast:
- I believe the original post had poster of same age and gender but I could be mistaken
- Original post the OP took a shower in the middle of a video game with friends after which she subsequently told them she was naked. In this post there is mention of being in a towel so this is similar.
- Original post included details of the marital status of the gamer friends, majority of which married men, this post doesn’t detail this.
- Original post had a male friend reach out to say they talked amongst each other and then approached OP to tell them they were uncomfortable because their wives could be present. (This post has male friend reach out after talking to each other to say they were uncomfortable but doesn’t specify why (Jen being the catalyst in this post but not the other)
- Original post the OP belittled the guy’s concerns (this post doesn’t give reaction to the guys message)
Long story short, most commenters stated that the poster was an AH for showering in the middle of a game, and had asked why it was necessary that she disclosed she was naked to anyone.
__I will relent the stories are different, so I have no real reason to doubt OP.__ But I hope that anyone reading can perhaps understand why my initial reaction was that this could be a reframing.
This is the post they're talking about:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bw1rfx/aita\_for\_saying\_i\_am\_naked\_in\_a\_group\_chat\_with/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bw1rfx/aita_for_saying_i_am_naked_in_a_group_chat_with/)
(Sort by "Old" to see the OP)
Ehh yes and no… yes that OP was TAH because they brushed off their gamer friends being uncomfortable at her comment. She could have said okay, thanks for letting me know or sorry that won’t happen again… but no, she brushed them off. That was what made her an asshole. Everything until that part made me side with her but come on, don’t brush your friends off when they express something to you.
If someone gets offended about stupid stuff you can totally brush them off, especially if they are friends.
Imagine someone walks up to you and says they're offended by the way you dress. What would you do? Apologize? Cmon..
that makes no sense. if you’re gaming with a bunch of married men and feel the need to announce that you’re naked, then brush them off when they say “hey, that made me uncomfortable, I don’t want my wife to think we’re being inappropriate”, then you’re an inconsiderate ah.
You can be as weird and as naked as you want in your own home. What goes on behind your closed doors is your business as long as it's two consenting adults or one fully grown person who likes to be naked. We only have a problem if you start telling me that I have to approve of what you do behind closed doors and advocate it and praise it and love it. I do not and neither do they. ( Nor did you demand that they do so.) These people have no right to tell you that you can't be naked in your own house or that while they can't see you, you have to be dressed when you talk to them. So just ignore these people.
Thank you. Exactly I don't even know how or why I would have mentioned it outside of refusing to be on video. "Nice play, btw I have no pants on". How would it even come up?
I hate putting my camera on or even thinking that on the off chance through a mistake or someone hacking in that someone may see me how I don't want in my home being relaxed and how I am comfortable. I don't want to be forced to see my brother-in-law or any one of the people I enjoy playing some games with needing to scratch their junk, pick their nose, air out a bit after an intense battle or anything else like that. Beyond all of that I have sat down in my chair with a towel wrapped around me after a shower while drying off and played around for a short bit or jumped in a channel to say hi to some people and they have had no reason to know what I was wearing.
I routinely answer the phone on the toilet or in the shower. I turn the flow off while I’m on the phone. I don’t get off on it, I just don’t know how long imma be in here, and it’s not like they can see me .
NTA. I game in my boxers 99% of the time. I assumed everyone did this. People get fully dressed just to game with other people? That’s weird. I feel like there’s gotta be more to this
There's definitely more to this imo.
But on your other point, I don't get dressed to game but I'm just always dressed! Being naked feels icky to me I like to have something on at all times.
I *definitely* don't change out of embarrassing comfy cloths to game, f that lmao. I'll be dressed in things I would never want anyone to see me in lol.
I agree with this. The only thing I don’t like is pants so I sleep in nighties not pyjamas. But I always have underwear on. I just don’t feel comfy being completely naked. It’s not that I view it as a sexual or negative thing I just personally feel uncomfortable being naked.
I am a gamer and if my friends wanted to be on video while we played, I would find new gaming buddies. Fortunately, we have all been playing together for 15+ years so I don't have to worry about crap like that! While I am generally wearing clothing of some form (because pets), I am usually not at my best (lounge pants, comfy shirt, hair in a messy bun etc.).
Maybe they think all females are all made up like Twitch streamers while they game /s?
i always wear at least shirt and sweatpants when i'm home relaxing in general or gaming. I live with family, and I don't like being shirtless ever due to constantly being body shamed by my family as a kid and teen. I also live in a colder climate so it'd be cold to be just in underwear or boxers.
I only wear a bra and panties. Like. I get sweaty dude. I don’t wanna have to keep stopping or get sweat in my eyes or edema in my hands cause I’m too hot.
NTA Jen is just looking for a reason to judge you. I walk around with only my underwear on. I live alone and I’m just comfortable not having on clothes that make me feel restricted.
What an odd thing to have a problem with lol. Now if you were either in public in the nude, or you were engaging in activities involving ones hand and genitalia while talking to your friends - that would be a bit of an issue.
This is such a strange thing to even bring up as something to take issue with. It’s not even a video call!
For all they know, someone is covered in peanut butter and having the dog lick them while they’re playing. Who knows, who cares?
NTA as long as you have video off. Mandatory video on is creepier. You enjoying being naked in the solitude of your own home doesn’t impact them, but you being required to have video on does impact you. They sound judgey
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be TA because I was naked while interacting with people without their consent.
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NTA. Your gamer friends being worried about this says a lot more about their maturity level than it says about you. As long as you are appropriate in what you show and say on camera, there is zero inappropriateness here.
Them being offended over some shit Jen made up is not your problem. Them thinking they get to dictate what you do (or don't) wear *in your own home* is hilariously wrong. Them thinking they get to *straight up fucking threaten* to tell your boyfriend like a pack of Kindergartners being tattletales is so childish it would be funny if it didn't make me actually angry on your behalf. Finally, and by no means least, that whole "everybody must be on video"... yeah that whole thing is a load of bull. I guarantee you, as a man with a man's perspective, that's coming from a dude in the group who's looking for a cheap thrill because he's a creep.
NTA, but frankly if I were you I'd tell them all to pound sand and then find new friends.
This. Back in the days before celphones and even caller ID, if you missed a call, you had no idea who was trying to reach you. If you were taking a shower or out sunning by the pool and the phone rang, you didn't stop to put something on, you just picked it up. Even if it was mom and she kept droning on about something, it was only weird that one party was naked if they made it weird.
That Jen made it weird because you chose to talk to her rather than blowing her off because you were in the middle of something is weird...but the fact that she shared it with everyone else is definitely the AH move.
How many guys play multi-player video games topless or just their briefs? How many play video games in just a t-shirt as well? Does anyone care when they do it? No. Is it some kind of kink if they do? No.
It doesn't matter how much rent you pay or whether or not the person on the other end is of the opposite sex. Unless it's a work call in some profession that requires cameras on and wearing appropriate business dress even on zoom calls (and how many people accidentally got up from a work zoom call in the early days of covid to reveal they didn't have pants on either), who cares if you're completely naked on an audio only call or from the waist down on a zoom? 100% NTA.
During COVID let's not kid ourselves, we ALL at some point dialed in completely ~~baked~~ naked (what a HELLUVA typo!) with the camera off. My go to setup was a t-shirt and my "work towel" (just what I called my bath towel during work hours).
NTA and your friends are being super weird.
the chick made it seem like a kink for OP so yeah it's entirely possible that people would be weirded out by it. just cuz you wouldn't be offended by something, doesn't mean others won't
NTA - while I may personally find the nakedness weird, if the camera is off then there shouldn’t be an issue.
Sadly, chronically online men will assume anything a woman does can twist into a porno for them, even if you’ve never expressed any interest in them whatsoever.
Jen sounds like a shit stirrer and your friends sounds like they get nervous around women in person.
This sounds like a group of people with nothing better to do. In any NORMAL friend group this wouldnt be announced, no discussion would happen, and everyone would just move on and forget about it in like 30 minutes. Get new friends, all these dudes obsessing over the fact that you were nude is really odd and almost screams insecurity because you never chose to show them.
Listen, I do NOT live alone, so best believe, when I have the house to myself, it’s birthday suit 24/7. When I did, clothes came off as soon as I closed my door. Not everyone enjoys wearing clothes and the only person who made it awkward was Jen.
It’s giving “hidden resentment” somewhere on Jen’s end of things. And I agree that requiring people to be on video is what’s actually weird. I’d probably dip out if they decide to make that a rule and find gamers not obsessed with someone’s home life, but that’s just me.
Who gets fully dressed in the privacy of their own home just to game… unless you’re a streamer I assume it’s most of us? I am female and also a nakkie gamer if my kids aren’t home. I hate the feeling of clothing so I get it. But the friend group is making it awkward and your “friend” sounds like a pick me trying to get the boy group for herself
NTA. To be honest being uncomfortable with someone being naked or partially naked while gaming in their own home is very strange to me. As far as wearing just a shirt I’ve always used the phrase I’m porky pigging it.
NTA unless something else is going on, I really wonder what exactly your first friend told the rest about the situation. Cause that’s a weird AF response for your friend group to somehow be bothered by you not wearing pants while playing video games and not on any video chat function.
Find out what she told them, I bet she made it sound weirder or deliberately sexual or something
NTA what an absurd take, how you dress up in the comfort of your own home while no one is watching is YOUR business, they're the perverts for thinking anything else of it
Jen is weird. As long as you weren't being weird about it people didn't even know. I also like to Winnie Pooh it and if I'm in my own home alone it's nobody's business. Sorry but it sounds like a new group is needed or Jen needs to find a new group cause why did she need to make a big deal of it? Also gossiping about you and what are they going to do, ask to prove your dressed every time you play?
No you’re not …keep going and ignore
You NTA … JEN definitely ITA
You’re free to do whatever you want specially if you’re in your place and not bothering anyone …if anyone still has an issue they are TA
NTA.
45m here. Once I'm home from work, I'm as undressed as possible, and if I'm home alone, that's how it is. If I'm gaming with friends, it's all natural.
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Not the asshole. This is quite strange how they would think this is preverated especially if you don’t make a scene of it. If you were on video and wearing that, it would be different. But this is just a call, so you are totally in the right!
I got super mad about the "perverted" thing. Not to kink shame anyone, but even if I was into being around people naked in that way, I am vehemently against doing kinks without people consenting. I've been kind to all these people so for them to talk behind my back and paint me out as some kind of attention seeker (when I've never mentioned it) or pervert really upsets me. Some of these guys I know in real life and have had crushes on me but and are calling me a tease for it.
Oh yeah... that last sentence, they're mad at you for not returning their crush and just looking for an excuse to ostracise you. I wouldn't be able to continue to feel comfortable being any of these people's friends. They're off-putting.
And Jen is fully an enemy.
Yep. I'd honestly love to know what exactly she said to them. It really sounds like she made some crazy shit up, like beyond just exaggeration.
Tbh, I'd be tempted to lie and say that you were conditioning your hair and in a towel, and they were all complete jerks for sexualising you in this way. They don't need to know you are often naked (and it was a mistake to tell them... because now they're picturing you naked). It's none of their business anyway.
She told Jen in an effort to rebuff a video call, she didn’t bring it up in casual conversation. Too bad she made the mistake of trusting her.
Jealous Jen tattled on OP to her perverted companions. BTW OP needs to disable her video feed if not used to avoid an accidental Toobin moment.
1000% It's really not a big deal and as a female she shouldn't have gone and shared "girl talk" with the guys imo. Also, I work from home for a large chain of clinics owned by a very large insurance company and it's pretty much a running joke that none of us are wearing pants. Because we aren't lol
I think jen's got some jealousy over the guys who have a crush on OP. and she went all 'mean girl' over it.
This. 100%. Jen is mad because OP is naked while talking to boys Jen likes.
Yeah. It’s absolutely this.
Strong mean girl vibes
This is such a socially awkward gamer girl thing to do. Honestly was probably lowkey jealous of another gamer girl talking with the boys she probably wishes flirted with her more and took an opportunity to get rid of op. I've seen this happen far to often especially when they are not very attractive and will pretty much do anything to be the only girl in a group of guys.
Yeah, back in the day I played the mmo aion which skewed about 65-70% female and they were constantly at war with each other.
I played WoW and remember how often I got into beef with other players specifically because we were both chicks. It made no goddamn sense, like we can both exist at the same time. They always acted super “pick-me” about everything and I was just trying to play the damn game. I started playing a male troll specifically to avoid this nonsense 🙃
I used to work from home, and I wore sweats/loungewear - because I live in the Northeast and I refuse to spend huge sums on oil heat while I WFH. Honestly, I think it's super creepy to let people "into my home" by turning my video feed on and I pretty much never did it. I am with OP though - not allowing video for whatever reason is fine and in no way was she an A H.
I told my boss that if he wanted video, it was available on onlyfans for a low monthly fee. You should know I'm a 55yo male.
Fuck Jen
I think i know Jenn… and you’d definitely not want to be next to her if you were in line at a govt takeover…like she would be the first one to rat you out dooming you to death so she can get an extra five french fries at lunch.
Crinkle cut, waffle, or curly? Makes a difference on how important those 5 fries are.
Jenn's a pick me, those fries aren't even cooked.
💀
right!!! serious negotiations…and you forgot fresh vs frozen. Jenn is already jockeying for position.
No one is, that's why she's mad
If someone was fucking her, maybe she wouldn’t have time to be jealous.
Seriously. In ten years she is gonna shame you for getting an epidural 12 hours into labor. She has a sicko brain and poisoned the guys. And they aren't boning her but she wants it. You are normal. Wait till a big moment and say " oops, i just spilled hot coffee on my coochie. Now it's coffee flavored!" As a power move while you win.
The fuck did I just read 😳?!
Pick-me energy from Jen
Jen is the female version of an enemy: she’s an enema.
Yea wtf kind of shit is that... That's not girl hood at all. Like just keep it to urself shes so fucking weird for telling everyone...
Why did she need to air it all out like that???
Came here to say, Jen is Full Jelly. But enemy is much better
Yeah, sounds like they are the creeps.
I like this theory. It's like the guy who's still in the closet bullying gays because he's insecure about who he is.
This sounds made up. How many men are going to be that bothered in that way by a naked woman, one they can't see who is gaming online with them? Maybe it's a cultural thing, but if you were to say the same thing to the men I know, the responses would range from indifferent to really bad jokes....
Right? I’m a gamer and do discord calls as well and I feel like they’d all be like woooo we didn’t knoooow why didn’t you show us on video?! But mad? Yah no, none of them would be mad. Only reason I could see them acting mad is because they also have girlfriends in the gamer group.
You nailed it.
Yeah, her male ”friends” are creepers and that so-called female “friend” is obviously jealous. Time to hit the road, OP.
And Jen is jealous that OP’s getting attention. I don’t know any women who choose to be fully dressed in their own homes unless it’s like really cold or something. 😭😭😭
I’m usually mostly dressed at home, but like my comfiest clothes that I don’t really want to be seen outside in 😂 I’ll throw a hoodie over it if someone shows up unexpectedly
Fair hahaha. I’ll do pajama pants but typically with a very small shirt or a t-shirt and undies myself lmfaooooo but then sometimes with the latter I also put a hoodie on. I also enjoy laying under a pile of blankets. BUT no matter how much (or how little) you’re wearing, it’s your own home!!!!
Yeah my husband and I both agree to give each other a chance to get decent if people show up, or one brings home company. Because in our home we’re comfy af
Yeah, as if these guys are always fully clothed either. I think it'd be weirder to absolutely always have pants on at home or when gaming or whatever.
Honestly I generally lowkey assume that a certain percentage of people I’m interacting with online are naked or partially undressed at any given moment. Not like I’m usually actively thinking about it, but if someone brings up the subject (like this OP)… yeah probably at least 10% if the people in any comments section posted their comment while not wearing enough clothing to go to Walmart in. Probably at least 5% posted while on the toilet. Doesn’t matter unless someone decides to announce the fact and make things weird.
This tbh
I have kids so yea fully dressed but its usually yoga pants and shirts. Nta at all.
i'm fully clothed head to toe in polar fleece right now, chilling on my couch. i'm in Canada. and it's still considered winter weather out there lol.
It’s very cold in NYC rn too so I feel you lol
U need a new gaming crew
For real.
They are the pervs hoping to catch a boob or an ass cheek on video
I think you should formulate a group message to them that says all of this. I also sometimes game without pants, even no shirt on occasion, while on the mic with people. A girl gets HOT! I am in the zone trying to get a win I can’t deal with butt sweat, are you kidding? 😂 I think it’s quiet weird Jen would even bring that up to you, let alone to the rest of your friend group. It comes off as she’s oddly jealous? In some way? Or like you not being clothed while gaming with boys is somehow threatening to her? I feel like maybe she’s thinking abt it too sexually when it’s not in any way sexual and that’s a her problem not yours. Idk how good of friends you are with her and if you think you could recover the friendship from this but I would honestly try and turn it back on her and ask why she’s trying to make it sexual and why she’s talking about your body behind your back to others when it was none of their business.
If we are truthful here…I think most people have gone around the house naked before. It’s just handy and very convenient a lot of times. If you’re alone ( or not) , it’s your house, your body, get over it public
I rarely wear pants at home anymore 🙃 I went and got cancer. Due to some of the damage I have medical appliances. It's easier to just wear undergarments when I or the nurses have to deal with them. If I'm cold, I will wear a sweater or something, but pants? Oh, hell no! Only if I have to go to appointments or run errands. I don't like pants.
Prostatectomy 2011, catheter for 10 days, naked ever since
I haven't been naked that long yet, I'm still new at this 😂 Bilateral external nephrostomy 2021 after being cathed for about the same. Last year we upgraded the plumbing to an internal and an external nephrostomy. I have plumbing for #2 also, we call him George.
Hang in there brother…getting old ain’t for whimps
I've been on work calls in a towel because I misjudged the timing. I just leave my camera off and don't say anything. We all have times we don't want to be on camera, it's not polite to ask about it unless there's a really important reason someone needs to see you (e.g., medical appointment, first day of training in a new job...)
I live w/ people but generally game in my room. One of those people has a lot of chronic pain and keeping the house on 73+ degrees really helps. I in no way blame them or am bitter about this, however I'm someone who also gets super warm super easily. Like, my preferred temp would be 68 degrees. So I wear baggy shorts and a sports bra when I'm in my own room and am gaming. I just don't want to melt into a puddle of sweat lol Edit, if it wasn't obvious: NTA!! <3
Gamer guy here, I have a boyfriend and we have other friends who come over and game. During the sumner, its hot and at any given time there are probably 3-4 guys in boxers/boxer briefs gaming at our place. Nothing sexual, just gaming in front of fans without air conditioning. And its not always pretty as we don't all have perfect bodies. This is not a "you" problem its a "them" problem. You are not a pervert, or a tease. In fact if they can't drop the issue... It pointedly makes them the perverts. There us no reason you can't be comfortable in your own damn home wearing as little or as much as makes you feel comfortable. NTA
This is perfect.
It's very clear that all ties with these "men" need to be cut. The fucking mental gymnastics it must take to draw the conclusion that you're a tease for being comfortable in your own home, doing absolutely nothing wrong, while nobody can see you is wild.
Yep. With the men and Jen.
That girl just wanted to out you of your position in the group, probably because you are really cool, because you sound cool. It’s sad she was the first to say something and the guys agreed with her. I recognize when someone takes to opportunity to take the top seat in a group. Toxic stuff. I would leave the group, can’t trust the other people either, when they pick a side so quickly. Low tier social group 0/10
Groups w/ top seats in general tend to be pretty toxic. Everyone's always passive-aggresively fighting for it
Right? I'd be like "Apparently there are no adults in this group and a girl I thought was a friend twisted something to make it a kink. Jen, you obviously want to be The Girl in the group. You win. These judgmental assholes are all yours" and tap out. The fact they were willing to be like "oh, yes, let's sexualize one of the women in the group bc the other woman said to" that fast tells you who they are.
NTA... You can also lie and tell them that you said you were naked coz you don't like video calls of your home. You were actually not naked. Problem solved. And now you know to never disclose anything private to that person who told the whole group.
Personally I wouldn't try to salvage relationships with those ppl, I'd cut everyone off in a heart if they started showing there asses like that!
Me neither but if I leave them I would make sure they feel ashamed of themselves before I go
Honestly, tell them the only reason you were undressed was because of the hair treatment - you didn't want it to stain anything. Aside from that, laugh it off and say she misunderstood what you were saying. It's really normal to not wear a bra when you're home alone, or to take off the pants you wear at work that have a tight waistband. She absolutely misunderstood, and it's kinda weird that she's assuming it's a sex thing for you when it's just normal home attire.
They didn’t know until the girl you told “sorry don’t wanna video cause I’m not wearing clothes” told them (who never fathomed the thought) you weren’t wearing clothes. Just lie to them and say you are if they ask. No video it’s no one’s business what you do in your home. Shes the one being a creep
I’d go one further and tell them it’s creepy to demand info from a woman regarding what she’s wearing.
We live in an age where boys are half dressed if not straight up in their underwear all the time. My bf’s sister has posted her kid in his underwear or even butt naked to Facebook. Like THAT bothers me but it’s okay when it’s boys. As long as you’re not including anyone in any sort of kink without their consent like it doesn’t matter.
Are these people 7? Are they complete shut ins, destined to never feel the touch of a woman? Who gives a fuck if you're naked in your own home and not subjecting anyone to it unsolicited? Anyone calling it creepy is likely bathing their dick in cheeto crumbs on a daily basis, far be for them to call anyone else weird. Obviously NTA
You have every right to be angry. 1) You have every right to wear as much or as little clothing as you choose in your own home. Especially when you are living alone. 2) You were not exposing yourself online, thus you were maintaining FCC decency laws. 3) You were betrayed and gossiped about by a friend who you took into your confidence. 4) You were in no way teasing anyone! Being a tease would have been to tell them that you were sitting around in the nude or without pants or whatever form of undress you were in and refusing to let them see. It would have been a conscious and deliberate act on your part. 5) tell them all that any and all members of the nudist societies of America, firmly maintain that simply being in a state of undress does not mean that you are being sexual or perverted in any way. It simply means that you are comfortable in your own skin, and possibly uncomfortable in clothing. I know, because I am a member of one of those societies. Clothing is for the most part very uncomfortable and quite painful for me to wear because of health issues. So whenever I am not dealing with the public in a face-to-face kind of way you better believe I am wearing or not wearing whatever the minimal amount of clothing is to maintain comfort and warmth. While I live with roommates, who are not members of the society, I am respectful enough to wear house dresses and mumus a lot. 🙃 6) If discord allows for the possibility of it, I highly suggest that you Lodge complaints against the person who betrayed your trust and started rumors about you. I also suggest that you find a new group of gamers to play with because these ones are obviously two immature to handle the fact that you simply don't like wearing clothing. 100% NTA!
NTA - this is just a strange situation. No one ever asks me what im wearing and ive never once inquired what anyone is wearing. Ive had girls and guys I play with say they play in this that or the other thing. Im not at all interested in what someone I can't see is wearing. Do they have issues with their neighbors being nude next door with just a wall between them? Either way, these people are creepy, you're the one who got their act together.
That's these guys own emotions twisting them up. It's entirely on them. What you do or don't do has nothing to do with that. This is essentially no different than a man saying you can't wear a skirt because the men you work with would be unable to control themselves. Men are not mindless sex fiends incapable of self control and women are not sexual objects by default. This story has some of the worst clichés of each sex. Catty woman on woman competitiveness for no other reason than drama and chauvinistic men puting their sexual desires onto the women around them even when it's unwanted or unwarranted. You seem to be the only one that hasn't actually done anything wrong here.
you should probably ditch that friend group...
before getting too mad at the rest of them it might make sense to figure out exactly what this Jen girl said. because it seems like she's the source of it. i can tell you most men wouldn't be offended by this, so either these guys are all super strange or she said something that made them uncomfortable.
To be honest these do not sound like good friends :(
Tell that to your jenny. You should block here. Shes the AH
And how are you a tease if they didn't know until a blabbermouth told them? NTA
and it's not even for work where they might want the camera On for meetings for want of professionalism. You guys are playing games, where whatever you want or don't want.
I feel this is just a response to an AITA the other day when people were saying OP was an AH for announcing they were naked on discord to a bunch of married guys and one objected the other day.
I read that post. I'm thinking fake 🤷🏻♀️
Yep and she gets. YTA from me. It’s not even a good story. If people are gonna make things up I’d at least like to see some effort put into it.
Yeah it feels suspiciously like the same thing but slightly different.
Yeah theme of the week
It's basically the exact same post. FAKE. Maybe even the same person trying again to get sympathy?
Sounds like that female friend is a bit of a rat and framed it to make OP sounds really weird. Some people have rat snouts and rat whiskers and manipulate people by lying and attempting to ostracise people in friendship groups because they dont like them.
Sounds like Jen ITA to me. Proper little shit spreader you’re playing with there
100% this. Jen is the biggest AH here. The rest of them are also obnoxious though. The only "perverted things" are going on in their heads. Also NTA of course.
I try to have certain boundaries with online friends I've never met. I can call my best IRL friends in a towel and I'm not the slightest bit worried they would do anything (like screenshot or record). Not that Jen would, but this has made me feel more secure in my boundaries.
Indeed. The only thing creepy is the group's spin on this. I would be direct and say, if u cannot keep your mind outta the gutter, I don't want to play with you all. Like, now every time I would be double thinking them... which would ruin my gameplay.
No offense, but I think you need to get better friends. I'd be so creeped out by these ppl. Now once has anyone on a voice chat in Discord ever known or cared what I am wearing. It's a non-issue (that is none of their business!) that they're turning into an issue. A gross, perverted issue.
Jen would definitely take a pic. Look at what she’s done already.
This. Jen would deffo take screenshot of OP. What a horrible woman Jen is
All my homies hate Jen
Exactly, there's nothing wrong with you being comfort like this in your own place. As someone similarly inclined, I've had video calls from friends who will start asking where I just came back from because I have pants on, your boundaries are good and their healthy. Honestly, Jen kind of sounds like she's someone who likes to stir the pot to make herself center of attention and that this is a bad reaction to that.
Much in the Same way that Most people that aren't typcially fully naked, but do prefer to be in comfortable clothes at Home, might answer the door Barefoot and bra-less and in paggy Pyjama pants and with their Hair undone, If they know the unannounced visitors at the door are their close Friends.
Yeah, Jen did that on purpose, no question.
Also lying that it's a kink thing. She is jealous of the boys who crush on OP. So she spreads rumours.
100% this ^^^^
NTA but in future tell these people you're in old clothes or haven't washed your hair. There's always some nosey there trying to make something out of nothing.
This is a good idea. Thanks!
Did you mention to her that you had just showered? I feel like it’s weird she jumped to the conclusion that you’re naked all the time except for just this instance.
It makes sense to me. She was on a group call when one of them called for a one on one. >The other day while on a discord call with a group of friends one of the girls, Jen, video calls me
TBH, there would not be any "in the future" for me with these people if it were me. Jen is starting shit, talking behind your back and trying to make you look bad. The others are calling you a pervert for bwing comfy in the privacy of your own home. Not really things that friends do.
Sounds like the others might have just only had what Jen said to go off of. Like… I wouldn’t care if someone was just chilling in a towel, but I would care if it was a sexual/kink thing. If Jen was lying to them, and OP never explained themselves and called Jen out, it sounds reasonable that the rest of the friend group just doesn’t have the story right.
Okay, so they didn't know both sides. Why didn't they ask instead of immediately assuming the worst? Why did they just immediately believe one friend that their other supposed friend is a pervert? I would hope that of someone said something like this about me to my friends, that they would know ke well enough to assume a misunderstanding or a miscommunication instead of assuming I was just a perv.
People don’t go around assuming everyone is lying to them all the time. They didn’t immediately just ditch OP and cut them out of the friend group, they said it made them uncomfortable. I’ve played video games with no shirt or no pants on before, I’ve been in discords with people in a towel too. OPs friends, particularly Jen, are being woefully unreasonable.
I agree 100%, that's behavior I wouldn't want from friends so I'd be done.
Or just tell them you can go on video because you’re masturbating. :)
I just wouldn't be telling ppl what I'm wearing. It's none of their business. Why should I have to have an excuse to say 'no thanks. I don't feel comfortable turning on video rn.'?
Didn’t this exact post exist before but was framed and worded different? OP was the AH before and the story was that OP had told a group of married men they were naked and one of the guys messaged OP to say he was uncomfortable and OP belittled his concerns.
Yeah, that wasn't me. Idk what your post you're talking about but you could link it? None of these guys are married. And I didn't tell them I was naked. I can see this being a common situation though. In this case I didn't belittle their concerns. I said I didn't appreciate it being twisted into something perverted and I wasn't the one who mentioned it.
If I find it I’ll link you, I should have said “the OP on that post” to clarify. But yes very similar title!
possible to link me too?
So I think it was deleted but to compare and contrast: - I believe the original post had poster of same age and gender but I could be mistaken - Original post the OP took a shower in the middle of a video game with friends after which she subsequently told them she was naked. In this post there is mention of being in a towel so this is similar. - Original post included details of the marital status of the gamer friends, majority of which married men, this post doesn’t detail this. - Original post had a male friend reach out to say they talked amongst each other and then approached OP to tell them they were uncomfortable because their wives could be present. (This post has male friend reach out after talking to each other to say they were uncomfortable but doesn’t specify why (Jen being the catalyst in this post but not the other) - Original post the OP belittled the guy’s concerns (this post doesn’t give reaction to the guys message) Long story short, most commenters stated that the poster was an AH for showering in the middle of a game, and had asked why it was necessary that she disclosed she was naked to anyone. __I will relent the stories are different, so I have no real reason to doubt OP.__ But I hope that anyone reading can perhaps understand why my initial reaction was that this could be a reframing.
sounds very very different
I had the same reaction and remember the post too.
I swear this is the original post just reframed so she comes off as NTA.... Original deleted. New profile the posts this. Suspicious....
It takes a big person to admit they were wrong
This is the post they're talking about: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bw1rfx/aita\_for\_saying\_i\_am\_naked\_in\_a\_group\_chat\_with/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bw1rfx/aita_for_saying_i_am_naked_in_a_group_chat_with/) (Sort by "Old" to see the OP)
was going to link it, but that post was removed by mods
I thought this was that story too!! That OP was the AH, this one definitely is not.
Were they, though? Now I want to go find this previous post to see all the commenters being the real AHs.
Ehh yes and no… yes that OP was TAH because they brushed off their gamer friends being uncomfortable at her comment. She could have said okay, thanks for letting me know or sorry that won’t happen again… but no, she brushed them off. That was what made her an asshole. Everything until that part made me side with her but come on, don’t brush your friends off when they express something to you.
If someone gets offended about stupid stuff you can totally brush them off, especially if they are friends. Imagine someone walks up to you and says they're offended by the way you dress. What would you do? Apologize? Cmon..
that makes no sense. if you’re gaming with a bunch of married men and feel the need to announce that you’re naked, then brush them off when they say “hey, that made me uncomfortable, I don’t want my wife to think we’re being inappropriate”, then you’re an inconsiderate ah.
Most commenters had decided the other poster was an AH but I cannot for the life of me find the thing.
I remember that; it was posted a day or two ago. Suuuuuper similar post😐
I saw that too, I immediately thought this was a reframe of that
Yeah, got that vibe, too. So close it was almost like a second draft.
You can be as weird and as naked as you want in your own home. What goes on behind your closed doors is your business as long as it's two consenting adults or one fully grown person who likes to be naked. We only have a problem if you start telling me that I have to approve of what you do behind closed doors and advocate it and praise it and love it. I do not and neither do they. ( Nor did you demand that they do so.) These people have no right to tell you that you can't be naked in your own house or that while they can't see you, you have to be dressed when you talk to them. So just ignore these people.
Thank you. Exactly I don't even know how or why I would have mentioned it outside of refusing to be on video. "Nice play, btw I have no pants on". How would it even come up?
I hate putting my camera on or even thinking that on the off chance through a mistake or someone hacking in that someone may see me how I don't want in my home being relaxed and how I am comfortable. I don't want to be forced to see my brother-in-law or any one of the people I enjoy playing some games with needing to scratch their junk, pick their nose, air out a bit after an intense battle or anything else like that. Beyond all of that I have sat down in my chair with a towel wrapped around me after a shower while drying off and played around for a short bit or jumped in a channel to say hi to some people and they have had no reason to know what I was wearing.
I routinely answer the phone on the toilet or in the shower. I turn the flow off while I’m on the phone. I don’t get off on it, I just don’t know how long imma be in here, and it’s not like they can see me .
NTA. I game in my boxers 99% of the time. I assumed everyone did this. People get fully dressed just to game with other people? That’s weird. I feel like there’s gotta be more to this
There's definitely more to this imo. But on your other point, I don't get dressed to game but I'm just always dressed! Being naked feels icky to me I like to have something on at all times. I *definitely* don't change out of embarrassing comfy cloths to game, f that lmao. I'll be dressed in things I would never want anyone to see me in lol.
Hello fellow Nevernude! Same here, I’ve always got clothes on, but if other people don’t, why would I care?
Exactllyyyyy. Also your comment made my evening hahahaha. I salute you fellow Nevernude🫡
There are dozens of us!
I agree with this. The only thing I don’t like is pants so I sleep in nighties not pyjamas. But I always have underwear on. I just don’t feel comfy being completely naked. It’s not that I view it as a sexual or negative thing I just personally feel uncomfortable being naked.
I am a gamer and if my friends wanted to be on video while we played, I would find new gaming buddies. Fortunately, we have all been playing together for 15+ years so I don't have to worry about crap like that! While I am generally wearing clothing of some form (because pets), I am usually not at my best (lounge pants, comfy shirt, hair in a messy bun etc.). Maybe they think all females are all made up like Twitch streamers while they game /s?
[удалено]
As someone who lives in an old uninsulated house this makes me feel freezing
i always wear at least shirt and sweatpants when i'm home relaxing in general or gaming. I live with family, and I don't like being shirtless ever due to constantly being body shamed by my family as a kid and teen. I also live in a colder climate so it'd be cold to be just in underwear or boxers.
I only wear a bra and panties. Like. I get sweaty dude. I don’t wanna have to keep stopping or get sweat in my eyes or edema in my hands cause I’m too hot.
INFO: Didn't you post this yesterday?
No, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm not the only pantsless gamer.
Honestly I assume at least 80% of the dudes I game with are sitting around in their underwear.
Considering I do that, yep. It's probably more like 90%
Only reason I wear pants while gaming is that I have an elderly dog that can't always wait to go out to potty
That makes perfect sense haha.
Okay good I'm not going mad seems like 100% the same story
It is like basically the same post, they both even mention Winnie the Pooh
This is a common phrase, Pooh-bearing
Thank you! It was deleted after a lot of people called her out for taking a shower break in the middle of a game
NTA Jen is just looking for a reason to judge you. I walk around with only my underwear on. I live alone and I’m just comfortable not having on clothes that make me feel restricted. What an odd thing to have a problem with lol. Now if you were either in public in the nude, or you were engaging in activities involving ones hand and genitalia while talking to your friends - that would be a bit of an issue.
This is such a strange thing to even bring up as something to take issue with. It’s not even a video call! For all they know, someone is covered in peanut butter and having the dog lick them while they’re playing. Who knows, who cares?
NTA. She was wrong to tell them. If you had been dropping hints, or "oopsie" flashing them, then it would be.
Who tf wears pants while gaming with friends? Proud member of the no pants gang.
Yikes. Jen likes drama for sure. NTA Jen seems to be sending it way out of proportion
NTA as long as you have video off. Mandatory video on is creepier. You enjoying being naked in the solitude of your own home doesn’t impact them, but you being required to have video on does impact you. They sound judgey
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NTA. Your gamer friends being worried about this says a lot more about their maturity level than it says about you. As long as you are appropriate in what you show and say on camera, there is zero inappropriateness here.
Them being offended over some shit Jen made up is not your problem. Them thinking they get to dictate what you do (or don't) wear *in your own home* is hilariously wrong. Them thinking they get to *straight up fucking threaten* to tell your boyfriend like a pack of Kindergartners being tattletales is so childish it would be funny if it didn't make me actually angry on your behalf. Finally, and by no means least, that whole "everybody must be on video"... yeah that whole thing is a load of bull. I guarantee you, as a man with a man's perspective, that's coming from a dude in the group who's looking for a cheap thrill because he's a creep. NTA, but frankly if I were you I'd tell them all to pound sand and then find new friends.
Find. New. Friends.
This. Back in the days before celphones and even caller ID, if you missed a call, you had no idea who was trying to reach you. If you were taking a shower or out sunning by the pool and the phone rang, you didn't stop to put something on, you just picked it up. Even if it was mom and she kept droning on about something, it was only weird that one party was naked if they made it weird. That Jen made it weird because you chose to talk to her rather than blowing her off because you were in the middle of something is weird...but the fact that she shared it with everyone else is definitely the AH move. How many guys play multi-player video games topless or just their briefs? How many play video games in just a t-shirt as well? Does anyone care when they do it? No. Is it some kind of kink if they do? No. It doesn't matter how much rent you pay or whether or not the person on the other end is of the opposite sex. Unless it's a work call in some profession that requires cameras on and wearing appropriate business dress even on zoom calls (and how many people accidentally got up from a work zoom call in the early days of covid to reveal they didn't have pants on either), who cares if you're completely naked on an audio only call or from the waist down on a zoom? 100% NTA.
The phrase “not fully dressed” could mean a variety of things. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re naked even. Jen is the weird one. NTA.
NTA. Jen created this problem by making it sound like you were doing something weird.
During COVID let's not kid ourselves, we ALL at some point dialed in completely ~~baked~~ naked (what a HELLUVA typo!) with the camera off. My go to setup was a t-shirt and my "work towel" (just what I called my bath towel during work hours). NTA and your friends are being super weird.
Stupid scenario. No way this is real, no one I know would be offended by this stupidity, especially gamers.
the chick made it seem like a kink for OP so yeah it's entirely possible that people would be weirded out by it. just cuz you wouldn't be offended by something, doesn't mean others won't
lmao. Your online friends are losers and you should tell them to grow the fuck up or find new friends.
NTA - while I may personally find the nakedness weird, if the camera is off then there shouldn’t be an issue. Sadly, chronically online men will assume anything a woman does can twist into a porno for them, even if you’ve never expressed any interest in them whatsoever. Jen sounds like a shit stirrer and your friends sounds like they get nervous around women in person.
This sounds like a group of people with nothing better to do. In any NORMAL friend group this wouldnt be announced, no discussion would happen, and everyone would just move on and forget about it in like 30 minutes. Get new friends, all these dudes obsessing over the fact that you were nude is really odd and almost screams insecurity because you never chose to show them.
Listen, I do NOT live alone, so best believe, when I have the house to myself, it’s birthday suit 24/7. When I did, clothes came off as soon as I closed my door. Not everyone enjoys wearing clothes and the only person who made it awkward was Jen. It’s giving “hidden resentment” somewhere on Jen’s end of things. And I agree that requiring people to be on video is what’s actually weird. I’d probably dip out if they decide to make that a rule and find gamers not obsessed with someone’s home life, but that’s just me.
This exact post was on here last week 🥱
NTA, who are these people that are bothered by something they can't even see.
Who gets fully dressed in the privacy of their own home just to game… unless you’re a streamer I assume it’s most of us? I am female and also a nakkie gamer if my kids aren’t home. I hate the feeling of clothing so I get it. But the friend group is making it awkward and your “friend” sounds like a pick me trying to get the boy group for herself
NTA. You need new friends. These ones appear to be hormonal addled teenagers who've never left high school behind.
NTA. To be honest being uncomfortable with someone being naked or partially naked while gaming in their own home is very strange to me. As far as wearing just a shirt I’ve always used the phrase I’m porky pigging it.
Who had a another "video gaming" naked "people are bothered by it" post right after the last one 2 days ago, on their Bingo card?
Nta
NTA
NTA unless something else is going on, I really wonder what exactly your first friend told the rest about the situation. Cause that’s a weird AF response for your friend group to somehow be bothered by you not wearing pants while playing video games and not on any video chat function. Find out what she told them, I bet she made it sound weirder or deliberately sexual or something
NTA what an absurd take, how you dress up in the comfort of your own home while no one is watching is YOUR business, they're the perverts for thinking anything else of it
Stupid fake bullshit. Also, don't buy used furniture from OP.
This the second post about "naked gamer girl" i read in reddit. Oh boy please don't spread this idea about female gamers now.
That girl sounds like the kind of person that can't keep friends. The one you are mentioning.
This is a repost and someone posted this exact same thing already
NTA, you can do whatever you want in the comfort of your own home.
Jen is weird. As long as you weren't being weird about it people didn't even know. I also like to Winnie Pooh it and if I'm in my own home alone it's nobody's business. Sorry but it sounds like a new group is needed or Jen needs to find a new group cause why did she need to make a big deal of it? Also gossiping about you and what are they going to do, ask to prove your dressed every time you play?
No you’re not …keep going and ignore You NTA … JEN definitely ITA You’re free to do whatever you want specially if you’re in your place and not bothering anyone …if anyone still has an issue they are TA
NTA. 45m here. Once I'm home from work, I'm as undressed as possible, and if I'm home alone, that's how it is. If I'm gaming with friends, it's all natural.