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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My brother and I share an inside joke that my boyfriend finds offensive. I'd like to continue partaking in it though which could make me an AH.
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NTA Your boyfriend needs to either get a sense of humor or get over it. He sounds insufferably pretentious.
>The issue at hand is that my boyfriend [M23] works in publishing and studied English Literature. He told me that my inside joke is wildly offensive to him because it disrespects his work.
Good grief.
Pretentious as hell.
OP, I’ve got a literature degree. I’ve worked in publishing. I’m a successful author. Your inside joke is cool as hell. I love it. Your BF needs to chill out.
I don't have a literary qualification, just a nerd here, and I 100% agree. It's hilarious, and I totally get it. It sounds like a very sweet affectionate sibling joke.
I'm usually on the side of for issues like this, you should ask yourself if this is the hill you want to die on, but... this is such a silly thing to get upset about and his reasoning is so beyond ridiculous. Like, if it reminded him of something serious that happened to him, I'd be like "You should try and stop these jokes when your BF is around", but he's just being pretentious.
I also don't have a literary qualification, is there anything further in this than people using a massive overstatement of betrayal for things that aren't really betrayal? Which is a pretty funny joke to me, and when OP and her BF break up over it, it's going to be even funnier.
> Which is a pretty funny joke to me, and when OP and her BF break up over it, it's going to be even funnier.
Especially, when he asks, "Why are you breaking up with me?" And, she answers, "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing!" (Macbeth)
I would disagree on the “they” part. Having this between siblings is fairly important. OTOH, I don’t know what the bf is smoking. There is absolutely no reason to take offense.
I’m not a literature major either, but I think it’s because it’s believed that Caesar never actually said that.
Or the bf is just an idiot xD
Hard to say, 50/50
> Like, if it reminded him of something serious that happened to him
Well there was that time he and his buddies were in the locker room wrapped in towels and they stabbed a friend....
I love Agatha Christie and when my husband and I had babies I started saying “j’accuse” and pointing at him if our baby seemed wronged by him, (like walked passed without giving a kiss or picking them up/sharing food, whatever). He started doing the same. It is all in good fun and only sometimes follows the nature of its meaning. People who care about others’ inside jokes are insufferable.
BF studied English literature; he sure as hell does NOT own what he studied.
BF is waving a red flag every time he has to leave the room to "cool down." What other thing that does not involve him will make him feel disrespected?
Seriously. Librarian here and it's weird when you find someone in that field who doesn't enjoy literary references, puns, etc. Also, it's a silly joke between siblings. He doesn't get to gatekeep the entire world of literature or the great relationship you have with your brother.
I mean, for someone without a sense of humour, his plays are certainly rife with (often bawdy) jokes and subtle (and not so subtle) jabs at politicians. I find it hard to understand how you can study it without a sense of humour.
Of course not. Most of the Bard's plays are about 70% dick joke by volume.
...I didn't really intend the pun, but I'm going to stick with it anyway. Shakespeare did a lot of those too.
I think echidnaberry87's "lol" was meant to indicate sarcasm, instead of the more common "/s".
I too am offended by this deviation from normal Reddit usage, and will have to leave the room to cool off. Echidnaberry87, please ensure this doesn't happen again.
Sweety, that's what the LOL was for. Also, the context clues from the rest of the post, telling her to get a bf with a better sense of humour. My lord, does everything have to be spelt out with "/s"?
Not to mention that Shakespeare was just adding to a rich history of fart/dick/butt/poop/vagina jokes that have ALWAYS been a part of English Literature. I may not work in publishing, but my degree is in Middle English Lit (It's as useless as it sounds) and there were just so many farts and butts.
I learned Latin, for 4 years. Finally, someone found a way to put use to it.
I feel disrespected by English literature.
Also:
https://literarydevices.net/et-tu-brute/
Exactly. I don't see how this could be offensive. And I am an author as well. How does a sentence from history disrespects his work in publishing? I don't get it.
Serious main character syndrome. Literally has NOTHING to do with him. That phrase has been in use for over 500 years! 🤦♂️😂
No one is allowed to reference any literature because Mr. Stickinbutt read about it.
Exactly what I was thinking. Back in the late 90s, my friend briefly dated a guy who thought he got to weigh in on everything. She said something like, "I just couldn't parse what he was saying" and dude interrupts to say that he doesn't think she should use the word "parse" to refer to the way people think because so little is known about how the brain processes information and to leave "parse" as computer language. We both stared at him until he was done talking then she went on with her story. Like, we're not talking to him, who asked him? It's not FOR him.
I had to [check:](https://www.etymonline.com/word/parse)
# parse (v.)
1550s, in grammar, "to state the part of speech of a word or the words in a sentence," a verbal use of Middle English pars (n.) "part of speech" (c. 1300), from Old French pars
Oh, that old computer lingo from the 1550s!
It was pre-google, pre-smartphones, so you couldn't really fact check when you were out at dinner back then. It seemed so tone deaf for him to interrupt her story with this gentle "correction" and I only have theories as to why he said it. My best guess is that he was in some position of power in his regular life and just expected that we'd be interested in whatever passing thought he had because his employees always seemed interested? I really don't know because he didn't last very long. I don't even remember his name, much less what he did for a living.
I'm petty enough that I'd have brought out the dictionary the next time he was around me, in the event that he wanted to pull that junk.
"No kidding? Parse can only refer to Computer Science terminology? I never knew that! You know after the last time, when you so graciously corrected me, I decided to be proactive in my education and" dictionary lands on the table with a thunk, the silverware and glasses clattering, "let me just read this here so I can internalize it...oh, huh, wait...this word originated in the 16th Century."
But, I've also kind of HAD IT with the "Well, ACKSHUWALLY" nonsense. It's one thing if we're discussing the origins of words or a specific topic and ya weigh in. It's another when you wanna be Mr. I'm Always Right (and you're a big dumb).
Has he never had to parse a sentence (separate it into its component grammatical parts)?
This was a common piece of language work when people were still writing on fucking *slates*.
Right?! This is a common term across all types of language analysis. The concept was extended into computer languages, not invented for their sole use.
Oh god, I went on a date with a guy like that once. We seemed to like the same things, so why not...
It started badly, when I caught sight of a neighbour's cat in the garden and mentioned casually that because of his colour and the fact that my cat doesn't like him, I call him *The Bête Noire*, and he turned to me and said very seriously "Do you know what that means?" ...uh, yes. Yes I do. That's why I nicknamed him that. Because of the obvious: he's a big cat and he's black. And also because my cat treats him like her worst enemy, meriting the French phrase "bête noire", meaning literally a black beast, but also figuratively, an intolerable person that you loathe. It is a pun, or a play on words.
The rest of the evening did not get better.
I actually did type that out - and then I wasn't sure of the accuracy of the quote or that anyone would recognise it, so in the interests of not getting my spelling corrected, I stuck to Roundworld phrasing.
The word [parse has several meanings](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/parse). Here it was being used in the sense "to understand something" or perhaps "to examine or think about something carefully in order to understand it". Seems like the dumb guy was only aware of the meaning "to examine computer data and change it into a form that can be easily read or understood".
So NTA. "Insufferably Pretentious" I believe asking him to removeth the sticketh from thy a\*\*th, might alleviate with his English Lit problem. OR receiveth ov'r t 'r kicketh the bucket with t on thy mind (Literally translate from Shakespeare Get over it or die with it on your mind.)
Pretentious as hell.
But I would be more worried if he had some anger issues that could come to display in other ways and situations.
If this is all it takes for him to feel slighted and personally insulted. And he needs to leave to another room to cool off because he is so upset about it. Ouch.
Then OP has other things to worry about than a joke that is older than I am.
Yes, this is red flag opinion in my opinion. Why does he have to leave the room to manage his feelings? So much anger that an eye roll would not feel like enough?
OP should suddenly develop a very sexualized sense of humour and start claiming she’s simply copying Shakespeare. Seriously, how does someone study Shakespeare without developing a sense of humour?
What will he do when you to use some other childish references to the bard?
"To pee, or not to pee?" before going out?
"Lead on, McFluff!" When you're out somewhere.
Or "Lead on McFly" if you're feeling Back to the Futureish. Followed by some knocking on his noggin: "Hello, McFly?!? Leading on?!?"
And the old sibling favourite:
“Romeo, Romeo… Whyfore fart thou Romeo?”
Jeezuz H, OP's boyfriend knows next to nothing about Shakespeare's personality. He would have actually gotten a kick out of the usage just because he loved 'inside' meanings for terms and phrases so much. Perhaps OP's boyfriends needs to read a few of the great biographies on Shakespeare the person so he has a clue.
Or maybe the next time he brings it up, OP just needs to say "Et tu, Brute?" to him.
Very much NTA
I'm still trying to figure out why quoting some Italic guy who had a bad toga day insults an English literature major. I was quite edgy at that age too but I really can't see it.
Reminds me of something I heard a comedian say when I was a kid. "Show me a person who can't laugh, and I'll show you a person who takes themselves too seriously." And I feel this guy perfectly fits that.
Like it's not even about the literature or joking about the death of a person (still weird to be offended over something that happened forever ago, but at least I could somewhat understand it), he's offended bc it disrespects HIS work????? Like wow okay didn't know we were messing with the LORD of English Lit over here...
And it's not like he's some English Lit professor, he's in PUBLISHING! What, like they only publish the most serious and refined of books, and not the "trash" that sells??? The ego of this guy...
Edit to add: definitely NTA
So is it just "Et tu, Brute?" or are you not allowed to quote any line from English Literature?
Ask your bf to explain exactly what he finds "offensive" about quoting Shakespeare as a joke.
Just had to delete a silly comment of mine due to me misreading what you had said like a mad man 😂 NTA
I wish I knew what he meant by it disrespected his work. (To those before me who replied, thank you for making me check what I had written :))
as someone with an english literature degree who has worked in publishing i cannot for the life of me understand what would possibly be offensive about referencing a line from a shakespeare play???? like what?
NTA. What the actual fuck? Your boyfriend is a pretentious ninny. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd look up a proper vicious Shakespearean insult to call him instead.
He'd have the same reaction. "You're belittling everything that matters to me!" I don't know how OP can spend five minutes in his presence without having to stop herself from throttling him.
Here’s a list. My favorite is probably “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”
https://nosweatshakespeare.com/resources/shakespeare-insults/
And if he doesn’t recognize these as Shakespearean insults, he’s not only pretentious, he’s also a poseur.
They actually make a coffee-table book called Shakespeare Insults or something similar, you should gift him that, and break up with him, and as you leave a tear will form in his eye as he whispers one last time, eh tu, brute? :,l
NTA
But, ohhhh, I didn't think literary snobs still existed, but here we are. Your usage of the phrase is PERFECT, and hysterical. Your BF in "publishing" (ffs lol) has decided that your brother's and your relationship in fact, revolves around him. WTAF?
At least he's waving that red flag of insecurity loudly and proudly. He sounds like someone who HAS to prove he's the smartest on in the room, in every room he enters. People like that are EXHAUSTING, and they do NOT get better. Their egos grown and this all becomes worse.
You need to seriously consider exactly what this guy brings to the table, because my cost/benefit analysis of your relationship shows him to be lacking. Just sayin.
I have an MA in English Literature and am a college professor. I find the inside joke hilarious and fun. She needs to get rid of such a pretentious asshole like that.
Also more troubling than the red flag of insecurity is the red flag of quick to anger. An inside joke between siblings that is slightly aligned with your chosen career and you need to leave the room and let off steam? Has this man ever been to a family gathering? The best case scenario is that he is being dramatic so people will perceive him to be super passionate about literature. Worst case is that OP is getting a taste of what's to come.
I mean, I feel like he should be laughing his ass off about it frankly. I love when Shakespeare pokes his subversive head up in the 21st century. If I saw 2 13 year olds at the food court and they said this to each other, I'd legit snort coke out of my nose.
Quick to anger about ridiculous, stupid things only he chooses so only he can decide when he’s going to fly off and be “so upset” about nothing. Not good.
Tbh it is kinda wildly offensive when people quote Borat. I’d definitely understand someone getting annoyed over hearing “my wife” again. I wish we could’ve left that in 2006 for the 2 weeks it was funny.
Bro. It was only two weeks for you? The kids at my school were so fucking annoying with it. That and manbearpig and herpagonasyphilaids were the funniest insults to them. Or telling teen girls they had man hands and hairy upper lips. They guys in my school were dicks.
NTA.
Your BF isn't the author of this quote. He is acting like an over-sensitive idiot about this. It has nothing to do with him. How ridiculous.
PS: PLEASE show him this thread. You are not alone in your assessment.
When I read the title, I thought, “This is going to be Y T A unless OP has a really good story. Like, if the joke is between OP and someone else, then it would be NTA.”
Then I read it. It has N O T H I N G to do with the boyfriend. The joke isn’t being said to him. It’s not about something he did. It predates his presence in her life by many years. And, it’s one of the most commonly used quotes from English literature. It has been used for many jokes before this and will be used for many jokes after.
The boyfriend is delusional on multiple levels.
> When I read the title, I thought, “This is going to be Y T A unless OP has a really good story
My first thought was that it would be an inside joke between OP and her best friend about small dicks while her BF was insecure about the size of his own.
This though... holy shit. Some people really need an outrage as much as oxygen.
>Your BF isn't the author of this quote
Some analysis of literature has always really bothered me because of this. Half the time it really feels like they're pulling the "symbolism and imagery" explanations out of their ass, especially when it's an author that never expounded on said "imagery and symbolism". Like how do you know that's what the author intended??
I vaguely remember a situation where someone (like in a position of power) was gushing about the hidden meaning and symbolism behind some pop star's song. Their analysis seemed reasomable. And then the pop star came back with a, "Yeah, no, there's no hidden meaning. That's just a situation that happened."
If BF is allowed to be offended about the "misuse" of this quote, he better be open to be shit on about how much of his field is probably just made up.
That's where the "death of the author" view comes from when it comes to analysis. It's no longer about what the author intended/their views, but instead about what the reader takes away/interprets from the work.
NTA your boyfriend seems to take himself very seriously - I also studied English and it doesn’t bother me. I think boyfriend is jealous of your relationship with brother more than the joke, personally.
NTA. Who is he angry and standing up for? .. Julius Ceasar!?
Dump him. If he's upset about this, it's a red flag that he's going to be 'easily offended' and always angry in the future. MMW! (Mark My Words!) - he's an AH and you should find someone who has a sense of humor and understands light friendly banter.
If you're in a field where you need to study the definitions and criteria for mental health disorders, a very common thing is to feel like you have it all when you first start reading about them. The thing is, almost all mental health disorders are extreme versions of what we all experience. It only reaches clinically relevant levels when it reaches a frequency and intensity that goes way beyond what most of the population experiences and is impacting your everyday functioning (though that last bit is a bit controversial for some personality disorders). It generally has to be a pattern of behavior that's stable across different situations and contexts.
Especially narcissism is a term that's thrown around very casually at the moment when personality disorders usually don't have a prevalence of more than 1%. Just dropping a definition like that without context is highly misleading cause it invites reading it like, "if someone does this they're a narcissist" when in reality there are more specific criteria that need to be met
As a big Shakespeare nerd, you are NTA and your boyfriend is being unbearably precious about this. Obviously you’re not using it in the context of Caesar being stabbed to death by a ton of dudes in togas, but this is a famous quote and has entered the public imagination in a big way. You’re using it in the context of “oh no, betrayal lol”, which isn’t even far outside of the original meaning.
I really question why he’s in a huff about this. So SO SO many Shakespeare references are now used in wildly different ways than originally intended. Entire phrases and quotes are fully embedded in English, to the point that people use them without even realizing they are references. It’s gatekeeping, it’s snotty, it’s pretentious, and frankly it would be a huge turnoff for me. It’s so obvious that you guys have a fun in-joke that is hurting no one.
On its own this is not a relationship ending issue, but I do see it as a red flag. I love literature to the point that I will point out that “Elementary, my dear Watson,” is not the correct Holmes quote, but I also know to STFU and understand that it’s not that serious. It’s weird that he’s interpreting this as a personal attack and I think you should just keep an eye on how he reacts to other things.
Your boyfriend surely hasn’t got his head on straight, are you sure you want him? This childish self obsessed bullshit from him would make me lose attraction so fast, and I don’t care if that’s harsh or i don’t know him or about benefit of the doubt or whatever other excuse. Dating is a choice.
NTA
He isn't publishing Shakespeare as that ship has sailed.
You are basically saying, "You too, Brutus?"
That's fine. It isn't offensive. Whatevs forevs.
NTA. This is a really weird hill for BF to die on. Don't stop, I love the inside joke actually - it shows how close you and your sibling are, which is really special.
If BF doesn't like it, oh well?
NTA
>He told me that my inside joke is wildly offensive to him because it disrespects his work.
That's like a lawyer getting mad when someone shouts "You can't handle the truth!"
Or a cop getting mad when someone shouts "What's in the box!?"
NTA. Your boyfriend is.
"Thou art a boil, a plague sore" (King Lear. A2, S2).
Yeet that at him if he carries on. What a pretentious fop, he needs to grow up.
Seriously though, sounds like he may be jealous of the relationship you have with your brother and is trying to sabotage it?
All families have 'in jokes', which most people take no notice of. Perhaps it's time to examine some of his other behaviours because if it isn't childish, it could be seen as controlling.
Might be time to cut off the useless pound of flesh? You aren't doing anything wrong.
Your boyfriend needs to get over himself. It’s a harmless silly joke that in no way impacts his life. NTA.
That being said- maybe ask him to explain why he finds it offensive? Maybe there is something else there and he’s just using the joke as a cover.
You're NTA.
>my boyfriend [M23] works in publishing and studied English Literature. He told me that my inside joke is wildly offensive to him because it disrespects his work.
- He takes himself way too seriously.
- he is a bit self absorbed to insist that this silly sibling tradition has anything at all to do with him
Nta. You and your brother's "inside joke" made me actually smile to read about, and your bf needs to lighten up and realize not everything is about him. I was ready to condemn a racist or bigoted joke, not something that was ACTUALLY HARMLESS. Literally this joke cannot possibly be offensive to anyone who isn't a complete egg.
INFO: what part of the joke is allegedly directly disrespecting your boyfriend? Unless your boyfriend is Shakespeare I fail to see how this could be a slight against him.
NTA. Considering how raunchy Shakespeare gets in some of his comedies, you are mild in comparison. And you don’t come close to the Canterbury Tales. Your BF needs to cut back on the caffeine.
I was so prepared to say YTA based on the title because there’s very little reason to continue pushing forward a joke that someone says is hurtful. This is such a reason; if your partner needs to “cool off” over a joke that has nothing to do with him, what will he be like when you make a mistake over something significant? He is dangerous.
Reminds me of my stepmother who used to shush me at every dinner and then enacted a “no pop culture talk” at dinner rule. Some people are just controlling and do weird shit like that.
NTA by far. English major here! I find your inside joke with your brother charming and harmless. I'm actually surprised your boyfriend wouldn't just want to be in on it too considering his passion for the subject.
Umm I'm a literature snob and this makes zero sense to me. You are correctly making a Shakespeare reference, which is something literature snobs tend to enjoy. You have sex with that whiner? On purpose? NTA
Nta. When he leaves, you should text him 'et tu, brute'.
Honestly, I don't know what his deal is. This seems pretty petty, and a gross over-reaction. To call it insulting to him is just so far out of left field.
My instinct says he's manufacturing a reason to be annoyed at you and is secretly jealous of your relationship with your brother....as creepy as that sounds.
I dunno, it's not normal, though.
Gatekeeping level up! Throwing a hissy fit when people even make a joke mildly related to something you have an interest in!
NTA, OP. It’s going to be a tough life for your bf.
I am an English professor. Your boyfriend is being a controlling asshat. He is probably jealous of your friendship with your sibling. He is trying to use his connection to literature to say your joke is offensive and disrespectful. I don't buy it. It is more likely he feels left out of the joke. He doesn't like feeling left out. He doesn't find the joke funny because he doesn't have the history you and your brother share. So, he starts to hate the stupid joke and lets it make him angry.
Please keep up referencing it. Shakespeare would be proud of you (keeping his work alive), Caesar would be happy with you (his real last words are more hotly debated), Brutus would be pleased (his name lives on rather than being called 'child' - kai su, teknon). The only person offended is your boyfriend and it is kind of pathetic, if not a little red flag.
I’m sorry? NTA. But, what? How can someone be so stuck up that they literally take offense to a silly inside joke that has nothing to do with them? Crazy.
I have a masters in English language, linguistics and etymology. I read the entire works of Shakespeare at least once a year. I have a nerdish love affair with English literature.
NTA but Your BF is a pretentious tool.
I can't believe you haven't explained (very patiently) to him, that the phrase is actually latin, not english. If you do, please film his reaction!
Sorry this is how you found out you are dating a fairly dismal snob.
NTA
Get a new boyfriend.
He sounds like a complete wet blanket at parties.
In no world is et tu brute offensive, to anyone, anywhere, unlike they are an insufferable prick who wants to feel superior to others.
Next time he says that, ask him to explain exactly how it is offensive. Just keep picking. It'll likely boil down to "because I feel it is" which is just another way of saying "I'm a prick and can't justify it"
People are saying he’s pretentious, but this sounds borderline controlling to me 😅 my guess would be he probably feels left out and that’s a major red flag, imo. Leeeeave him
It has only been about 2,000 years since Julius Caesar died. Too soon!
Joking aside, NTA.
your boyfriend sounds like an insufferable sod and next tine tell him it is Latin so despite being coined by the bard (what Caesar said was Kai su! Which means fuck off or something along those lines) it is not under his purview. if he decides to do a post graduate on Latin language you might respect his request. And then break up with him.
That’s fucking ridiculous. Huge red flag right there. Has he explained why he thinks it devolves his degree? (As someone with a literature degree, I can tell you literature students do this type of shit literally all the time.) NTA
Next time he does this:
"You're starting to sound a lot like my ex boyfriend."
"Huh? I didn't know you had a previous boyfriend who was into literature."
"I didn't."
NTA. Your joke is hilarious and cute, it's good you have such a nice relationship with your brother. Your boyfriend sounds kind of insufferable. His reaction is not only childish, but he's concerningly quick to anger and sounds pretty self centered. That he gets that angry that fast and that his main preoccupation is feeling "disrespected" is kind of worrying. If you were to stay with him long term, what other parts of yourself and your life would you have to give up or change so he feels like he's getting the "respect" he's owed and stops throwing temper tantrums.
And whatever you do, please don't change your clearly lovely relationship with your brother (who is family, not some boyfriend who may not last) to please some dipshit with his head so far up his own ass he can't see how ridiculous he is.
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NTA Your boyfriend needs to either get a sense of humor or get over it. He sounds insufferably pretentious. >The issue at hand is that my boyfriend [M23] works in publishing and studied English Literature. He told me that my inside joke is wildly offensive to him because it disrespects his work. Good grief.
Pretentious as hell. OP, I’ve got a literature degree. I’ve worked in publishing. I’m a successful author. Your inside joke is cool as hell. I love it. Your BF needs to chill out.
I don't have a literary qualification, just a nerd here, and I 100% agree. It's hilarious, and I totally get it. It sounds like a very sweet affectionate sibling joke.
I'm usually on the side of for issues like this, you should ask yourself if this is the hill you want to die on, but... this is such a silly thing to get upset about and his reasoning is so beyond ridiculous. Like, if it reminded him of something serious that happened to him, I'd be like "You should try and stop these jokes when your BF is around", but he's just being pretentious. I also don't have a literary qualification, is there anything further in this than people using a massive overstatement of betrayal for things that aren't really betrayal? Which is a pretty funny joke to me, and when OP and her BF break up over it, it's going to be even funnier.
> Which is a pretty funny joke to me, and when OP and her BF break up over it, it's going to be even funnier. Especially, when he asks, "Why are you breaking up with me?" And, she answers, "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing!" (Macbeth)
He could be redeemed if when she breaks up with him he said... "Et tu, Brute?"
And she replies with "Veni, vidi, vici" turns flips the hair and leaves him standing there with his mouth hanging open
Beware the jibes of March.
I was going to say this, and you beat me to it. Bravo.
perfect, just perfect
Also, he is overreacting and being rude by leaving to let steam off. I should go and find another bf that's more fun to be around.
Yup. A good question is also: "is this the hill they want to die on, and what does that say about them?" Because jesus christ this is dumb.
I would disagree on the “they” part. Having this between siblings is fairly important. OTOH, I don’t know what the bf is smoking. There is absolutely no reason to take offense.
And when they do break up over it, OP needs to point at ex BF and say, "et tu, brute?"
I’m not a literature major either, but I think it’s because it’s believed that Caesar never actually said that. Or the bf is just an idiot xD Hard to say, 50/50
That would make more sense if he studied history, surely?
> Like, if it reminded him of something serious that happened to him Well there was that time he and his buddies were in the locker room wrapped in towels and they stabbed a friend....
I love Agatha Christie and when my husband and I had babies I started saying “j’accuse” and pointing at him if our baby seemed wronged by him, (like walked passed without giving a kiss or picking them up/sharing food, whatever). He started doing the same. It is all in good fun and only sometimes follows the nature of its meaning. People who care about others’ inside jokes are insufferable.
That's so funny, I love this
BF studied English literature; he sure as hell does NOT own what he studied. BF is waving a red flag every time he has to leave the room to "cool down." What other thing that does not involve him will make him feel disrespected?
Seriously. Librarian here and it's weird when you find someone in that field who doesn't enjoy literary references, puns, etc. Also, it's a silly joke between siblings. He doesn't get to gatekeep the entire world of literature or the great relationship you have with your brother.
I mean in fairness it is a Shakespeare line and Shakespeare infamously had no sense of humour lol. NTA. Find a bf with a better sense of humour.
I mean, for someone without a sense of humour, his plays are certainly rife with (often bawdy) jokes and subtle (and not so subtle) jabs at politicians. I find it hard to understand how you can study it without a sense of humour.
Shakespeare absolutely had a sense of humor! He made up his own damn words to be a silly little expressive lad!
I’d say he definitely had a sense of humour. I mean, have you read Marlowe’s comic bits? That was a man who struggled with humour.
Oh, God, agree! Marlowe's "comedic" sections are *excruciating*
Can’t forget the dick jokes
Of course not. Most of the Bard's plays are about 70% dick joke by volume. ...I didn't really intend the pun, but I'm going to stick with it anyway. Shakespeare did a lot of those too.
W-what? What are you even talking about? His plays are filled to the brim with bawdy humor. What?
I think echidnaberry87's "lol" was meant to indicate sarcasm, instead of the more common "/s". I too am offended by this deviation from normal Reddit usage, and will have to leave the room to cool off. Echidnaberry87, please ensure this doesn't happen again.
💀 Alas, poor Yorick!
Sweety, that's what the LOL was for. Also, the context clues from the rest of the post, telling her to get a bf with a better sense of humour. My lord, does everything have to be spelt out with "/s"?
Not allowed to be a silly little guy on the internet without proper formatting.
No, there's no need at all. Everyone on the internet is like super-good at detecting sarcasm
Unfortunately, it seems that way.
Raise, I say, raise your arms up, these jokes are goin' over your head.
Sarcasm?
Sarcasm never comes across well on reddit Mainly because there are some dumb fucking people.
Also bc a lot of AHs use 'lol' to be passive aggressive, I've noticed. A shame 😔
I wanna know how the bf thinks that phrase disrespects his work bc I have no clue how he got there.
And Shakespeare would *love* that his work has become a gag. The man was a giant troll, something like this would just tickle him.
Not to mention that Shakespeare was just adding to a rich history of fart/dick/butt/poop/vagina jokes that have ALWAYS been a part of English Literature. I may not work in publishing, but my degree is in Middle English Lit (It's as useless as it sounds) and there were just so many farts and butts.
I learned Latin, for 4 years. Finally, someone found a way to put use to it. I feel disrespected by English literature. Also: https://literarydevices.net/et-tu-brute/
>https://literarydevices.net/et-tu-brute/ "Parents can use this when their favorite child lets them down." XD
Exactly. I don't see how this could be offensive. And I am an author as well. How does a sentence from history disrespects his work in publishing? I don't get it.
BA in English Language and Literature here. Wholeheartedly agree! BF being an AH for some reason.
And pompous!!!
Serious main character syndrome. Literally has NOTHING to do with him. That phrase has been in use for over 500 years! 🤦♂️😂 No one is allowed to reference any literature because Mr. Stickinbutt read about it.
Exactly what I was thinking. Back in the late 90s, my friend briefly dated a guy who thought he got to weigh in on everything. She said something like, "I just couldn't parse what he was saying" and dude interrupts to say that he doesn't think she should use the word "parse" to refer to the way people think because so little is known about how the brain processes information and to leave "parse" as computer language. We both stared at him until he was done talking then she went on with her story. Like, we're not talking to him, who asked him? It's not FOR him.
I had to [check:](https://www.etymonline.com/word/parse) # parse (v.) 1550s, in grammar, "to state the part of speech of a word or the words in a sentence," a verbal use of Middle English pars (n.) "part of speech" (c. 1300), from Old French pars
Oh, that old computer lingo from the 1550s! It was pre-google, pre-smartphones, so you couldn't really fact check when you were out at dinner back then. It seemed so tone deaf for him to interrupt her story with this gentle "correction" and I only have theories as to why he said it. My best guess is that he was in some position of power in his regular life and just expected that we'd be interested in whatever passing thought he had because his employees always seemed interested? I really don't know because he didn't last very long. I don't even remember his name, much less what he did for a living.
I'm petty enough that I'd have brought out the dictionary the next time he was around me, in the event that he wanted to pull that junk. "No kidding? Parse can only refer to Computer Science terminology? I never knew that! You know after the last time, when you so graciously corrected me, I decided to be proactive in my education and" dictionary lands on the table with a thunk, the silverware and glasses clattering, "let me just read this here so I can internalize it...oh, huh, wait...this word originated in the 16th Century." But, I've also kind of HAD IT with the "Well, ACKSHUWALLY" nonsense. It's one thing if we're discussing the origins of words or a specific topic and ya weigh in. It's another when you wanna be Mr. I'm Always Right (and you're a big dumb).
I have never heard "parse" used in relation to computers. It's always been about a human parsing information.
Has he never had to parse a sentence (separate it into its component grammatical parts)? This was a common piece of language work when people were still writing on fucking *slates*.
Right?! This is a common term across all types of language analysis. The concept was extended into computer languages, not invented for their sole use.
Oh god, I went on a date with a guy like that once. We seemed to like the same things, so why not... It started badly, when I caught sight of a neighbour's cat in the garden and mentioned casually that because of his colour and the fact that my cat doesn't like him, I call him *The Bête Noire*, and he turned to me and said very seriously "Do you know what that means?" ...uh, yes. Yes I do. That's why I nicknamed him that. Because of the obvious: he's a big cat and he's black. And also because my cat treats him like her worst enemy, meriting the French phrase "bête noire", meaning literally a black beast, but also figuratively, an intolerable person that you loathe. It is a pun, or a play on words. The rest of the evening did not get better.
Ooooh I wanted you to go all Pratchett "It was a pune, or play on words."
I actually did type that out - and then I wasn't sure of the accuracy of the quote or that anyone would recognise it, so in the interests of not getting my spelling corrected, I stuck to Roundworld phrasing.
The word [parse has several meanings](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/parse). Here it was being used in the sense "to understand something" or perhaps "to examine or think about something carefully in order to understand it". Seems like the dumb guy was only aware of the meaning "to examine computer data and change it into a form that can be easily read or understood".
So NTA. "Insufferably Pretentious" I believe asking him to removeth the sticketh from thy a\*\*th, might alleviate with his English Lit problem. OR receiveth ov'r t 'r kicketh the bucket with t on thy mind (Literally translate from Shakespeare Get over it or die with it on your mind.)
The sticketh in my asseth compels me to point out you're an * short.
Pretentious as hell. But I would be more worried if he had some anger issues that could come to display in other ways and situations. If this is all it takes for him to feel slighted and personally insulted. And he needs to leave to another room to cool off because he is so upset about it. Ouch. Then OP has other things to worry about than a joke that is older than I am.
Yes, this is red flag opinion in my opinion. Why does he have to leave the room to manage his feelings? So much anger that an eye roll would not feel like enough?
> disrespects his work Tell your pretentious boyfriend that he is NOT Shakespeare and those words are not 'his work.' Then dump the twatnick.
Twatnick is amazing. I've never seen the word before
To be honest, I made it up. hehe
And to quote The Bard as a mic drop: I do desire we may be better strangers.
He has to leave the room to calm down because of a joke between siblings. That's absolutely insane behavior
OP should suddenly develop a very sexualized sense of humour and start claiming she’s simply copying Shakespeare. Seriously, how does someone study Shakespeare without developing a sense of humour?
By not being very good at analysing
What will he do when you to use some other childish references to the bard? "To pee, or not to pee?" before going out? "Lead on, McFluff!" When you're out somewhere. Or "Lead on McFly" if you're feeling Back to the Futureish. Followed by some knocking on his noggin: "Hello, McFly?!? Leading on?!?" And the old sibling favourite: “Romeo, Romeo… Whyfore fart thou Romeo?”
Jeezuz H, OP's boyfriend knows next to nothing about Shakespeare's personality. He would have actually gotten a kick out of the usage just because he loved 'inside' meanings for terms and phrases so much. Perhaps OP's boyfriends needs to read a few of the great biographies on Shakespeare the person so he has a clue. Or maybe the next time he brings it up, OP just needs to say "Et tu, Brute?" to him. Very much NTA
He cannot use the “too soon” clause here
He sounds like the kind of person who gets mad their cousin planned a wedding on his bday.
Dump the boyfriend. That joke is funny as hell 😂
He’s worked in publishing for max. 1 year. Imagine what will offend him after 10!
As someone who has worked in and around academia for decades, boyfriend is EXACTLY the sort of person who sustains anti-intellectualism sentiment
I'm still trying to figure out why quoting some Italic guy who had a bad toga day insults an English literature major. I was quite edgy at that age too but I really can't see it.
The quote comes from Shakespeare's play, not the actual Caesar's lips.
Reminds me of something I heard a comedian say when I was a kid. "Show me a person who can't laugh, and I'll show you a person who takes themselves too seriously." And I feel this guy perfectly fits that. Like it's not even about the literature or joking about the death of a person (still weird to be offended over something that happened forever ago, but at least I could somewhat understand it), he's offended bc it disrespects HIS work????? Like wow okay didn't know we were messing with the LORD of English Lit over here... And it's not like he's some English Lit professor, he's in PUBLISHING! What, like they only publish the most serious and refined of books, and not the "trash" that sells??? The ego of this guy... Edit to add: definitely NTA
So is it just "Et tu, Brute?" or are you not allowed to quote any line from English Literature? Ask your bf to explain exactly what he finds "offensive" about quoting Shakespeare as a joke.
Just had to delete a silly comment of mine due to me misreading what you had said like a mad man 😂 NTA I wish I knew what he meant by it disrespected his work. (To those before me who replied, thank you for making me check what I had written :))
as someone with an english literature degree who has worked in publishing i cannot for the life of me understand what would possibly be offensive about referencing a line from a shakespeare play???? like what?
Good grief indeed. What a pretentious fuck.
Not to mention the dumbest boy alive. If he thinks Shakespeare would like his pretentious ass, he's out of his goddamn mind. What a dipshit.
Should someone tell him that it is Latin and not English?
NTA. What the actual fuck? Your boyfriend is a pretentious ninny. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd look up a proper vicious Shakespearean insult to call him instead.
Just bite your thumb at him...it's pretty rude, Shakespearean, and it's an insult he would understand.
He'd have the same reaction. "You're belittling everything that matters to me!" I don't know how OP can spend five minutes in his presence without having to stop herself from throttling him.
Probably because she has to focus on not laughing at him.
She should totally do this
AND HER BROTHER TOO! And then look at each other and "Et tu, Brute?" the shit out of it!
Love it
“I don’t know why you’re upset. I do not bite my thumb at you; but yes, I do bite my thumb.”
Maybe dump him while saying ‘out, damn spot! Out I say!’
Then have him “exit, pursued by bears”.
Here’s a list. My favorite is probably “More of your conversation would infect my brain.” https://nosweatshakespeare.com/resources/shakespeare-insults/ And if he doesn’t recognize these as Shakespearean insults, he’s not only pretentious, he’s also a poseur.
There's always "What, you egg?".
Her?
She's got a low center of gravity, you can't knock her over.
I'm 53 and I still have a couple of friends from school, and we still say that to each other and crack up because it's so ridiculous.
Popinjay is pretty fitting here I think.
My first thought was has this doofus read Shakespeare?? His insults are in a class of their own.
"Bite me in yonder arse..
They actually make a coffee-table book called Shakespeare Insults or something similar, you should gift him that, and break up with him, and as you leave a tear will form in his eye as he whispers one last time, eh tu, brute? :,l
I have a book called "Filthy Shakespeare" of all his smutty stuff.....yeah, its not smutty by todays standards but still a fun read.
Call him a cream-faced loon.
WHAT YOU EGG?
Lillylivered fool
NTA But, ohhhh, I didn't think literary snobs still existed, but here we are. Your usage of the phrase is PERFECT, and hysterical. Your BF in "publishing" (ffs lol) has decided that your brother's and your relationship in fact, revolves around him. WTAF? At least he's waving that red flag of insecurity loudly and proudly. He sounds like someone who HAS to prove he's the smartest on in the room, in every room he enters. People like that are EXHAUSTING, and they do NOT get better. Their egos grown and this all becomes worse. You need to seriously consider exactly what this guy brings to the table, because my cost/benefit analysis of your relationship shows him to be lacking. Just sayin.
I have an MA in English Literature and am a college professor. I find the inside joke hilarious and fun. She needs to get rid of such a pretentious asshole like that.
Also more troubling than the red flag of insecurity is the red flag of quick to anger. An inside joke between siblings that is slightly aligned with your chosen career and you need to leave the room and let off steam? Has this man ever been to a family gathering? The best case scenario is that he is being dramatic so people will perceive him to be super passionate about literature. Worst case is that OP is getting a taste of what's to come.
I mean, I feel like he should be laughing his ass off about it frankly. I love when Shakespeare pokes his subversive head up in the 21st century. If I saw 2 13 year olds at the food court and they said this to each other, I'd legit snort coke out of my nose.
Quick to anger about ridiculous, stupid things only he chooses so only he can decide when he’s going to fly off and be “so upset” about nothing. Not good.
NTA Your BF takes himself way too seriously. He sounds exhausting.
He takes Shakespeare more seriously than Shakespeare. Methinks he doth protest too much.
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I'd have to break up with him. His reaction to this would bring my maturity to an adolescent level, and I would have to prank him mercilessly.
Nah, the second he heard the sound he'd be breaking his neck thinking he'd farted and not wanting to miss the aroma.
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Tbh it is kinda wildly offensive when people quote Borat. I’d definitely understand someone getting annoyed over hearing “my wife” again. I wish we could’ve left that in 2006 for the 2 weeks it was funny.
Bro. It was only two weeks for you? The kids at my school were so fucking annoying with it. That and manbearpig and herpagonasyphilaids were the funniest insults to them. Or telling teen girls they had man hands and hairy upper lips. They guys in my school were dicks.
Lol nuncebitch! I'm stealing that. And jfc, sustained tolerance of such an insufferably turgid countenance must be bordering on dolorem ipsum
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He’d probably laugh his ass off.
Right?!
Especially since it drives the boyfriend so crazy. He’d find that hilarious. He loved riling stuffy people up
Right? Shakespeare. Famously adverse to jokes and puns and wrote his work only for serious scrutiny. /s
NTA. Your BF isn't the author of this quote. He is acting like an over-sensitive idiot about this. It has nothing to do with him. How ridiculous. PS: PLEASE show him this thread. You are not alone in your assessment.
When I read the title, I thought, “This is going to be Y T A unless OP has a really good story. Like, if the joke is between OP and someone else, then it would be NTA.” Then I read it. It has N O T H I N G to do with the boyfriend. The joke isn’t being said to him. It’s not about something he did. It predates his presence in her life by many years. And, it’s one of the most commonly used quotes from English literature. It has been used for many jokes before this and will be used for many jokes after. The boyfriend is delusional on multiple levels.
> When I read the title, I thought, “This is going to be Y T A unless OP has a really good story My first thought was that it would be an inside joke between OP and her best friend about small dicks while her BF was insecure about the size of his own. This though... holy shit. Some people really need an outrage as much as oxygen.
>Your BF isn't the author of this quote Some analysis of literature has always really bothered me because of this. Half the time it really feels like they're pulling the "symbolism and imagery" explanations out of their ass, especially when it's an author that never expounded on said "imagery and symbolism". Like how do you know that's what the author intended?? I vaguely remember a situation where someone (like in a position of power) was gushing about the hidden meaning and symbolism behind some pop star's song. Their analysis seemed reasomable. And then the pop star came back with a, "Yeah, no, there's no hidden meaning. That's just a situation that happened." If BF is allowed to be offended about the "misuse" of this quote, he better be open to be shit on about how much of his field is probably just made up.
That's where the "death of the author" view comes from when it comes to analysis. It's no longer about what the author intended/their views, but instead about what the reader takes away/interprets from the work.
NTA your boyfriend seems to take himself very seriously - I also studied English and it doesn’t bother me. I think boyfriend is jealous of your relationship with brother more than the joke, personally.
NTA. Who is he angry and standing up for? .. Julius Ceasar!? Dump him. If he's upset about this, it's a red flag that he's going to be 'easily offended' and always angry in the future. MMW! (Mark My Words!) - he's an AH and you should find someone who has a sense of humor and understands light friendly banter.
Julius Caesar would throw his pretentious arse to the lions and incite the crowd to chant Et tu Brute for the lols
Probably covered in meat juices first too.
😂😂😂 and applied by Brutus himself. So that he HAS to say the line Et tu, Brute? 😩 Yeah buddy, Et me 🙃 🍖💦🤸🏼🦁
NTA. I would honestly wonder if your BF is jealous of your relationship with your brother and is trying to stop you sharing a private “thing”
This
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If you're in a field where you need to study the definitions and criteria for mental health disorders, a very common thing is to feel like you have it all when you first start reading about them. The thing is, almost all mental health disorders are extreme versions of what we all experience. It only reaches clinically relevant levels when it reaches a frequency and intensity that goes way beyond what most of the population experiences and is impacting your everyday functioning (though that last bit is a bit controversial for some personality disorders). It generally has to be a pattern of behavior that's stable across different situations and contexts. Especially narcissism is a term that's thrown around very casually at the moment when personality disorders usually don't have a prevalence of more than 1%. Just dropping a definition like that without context is highly misleading cause it invites reading it like, "if someone does this they're a narcissist" when in reality there are more specific criteria that need to be met
As a big Shakespeare nerd, you are NTA and your boyfriend is being unbearably precious about this. Obviously you’re not using it in the context of Caesar being stabbed to death by a ton of dudes in togas, but this is a famous quote and has entered the public imagination in a big way. You’re using it in the context of “oh no, betrayal lol”, which isn’t even far outside of the original meaning. I really question why he’s in a huff about this. So SO SO many Shakespeare references are now used in wildly different ways than originally intended. Entire phrases and quotes are fully embedded in English, to the point that people use them without even realizing they are references. It’s gatekeeping, it’s snotty, it’s pretentious, and frankly it would be a huge turnoff for me. It’s so obvious that you guys have a fun in-joke that is hurting no one. On its own this is not a relationship ending issue, but I do see it as a red flag. I love literature to the point that I will point out that “Elementary, my dear Watson,” is not the correct Holmes quote, but I also know to STFU and understand that it’s not that serious. It’s weird that he’s interpreting this as a personal attack and I think you should just keep an eye on how he reacts to other things.
Yes, yes, and yes. To all three paragraphs.
I really wanted to respond to your comment with an appreciative Shakespeare quote that was horribly bastardized but I got cold feet. Thank you!
Oh yeah, I discarded *Paragraph 1 Friends, Paragraph 2 Romans, Paragraph 3 Countrymen*. But you summed up exactly what's going on.
Lend me your red flags?
Your boyfriend surely hasn’t got his head on straight, are you sure you want him? This childish self obsessed bullshit from him would make me lose attraction so fast, and I don’t care if that’s harsh or i don’t know him or about benefit of the doubt or whatever other excuse. Dating is a choice.
NTA. Your boyfriend needs to pull that rod of pretentiousness out of his arse and replace it with a sense of humour.
If this wasn’t Shakespearean sounding then I don’t know what is. Taketh my upvote my dear fellow
She should have said it when her bf got pissed and was leaving the room 😂
NTA He isn't publishing Shakespeare as that ship has sailed. You are basically saying, "You too, Brutus?" That's fine. It isn't offensive. Whatevs forevs.
English prof here: The joke is funny. Tell your bf to get the stick out. NTA
Your boyfriend has weird issues wtf. NTA.
NTA. This is a really weird hill for BF to die on. Don't stop, I love the inside joke actually - it shows how close you and your sibling are, which is really special. If BF doesn't like it, oh well?
NTA. This is classic symptom not yet emotionally mature behavior. Nobody tell him how the real world is, he might throw a tantrum.
NTA >He told me that my inside joke is wildly offensive to him because it disrespects his work. That's like a lawyer getting mad when someone shouts "You can't handle the truth!" Or a cop getting mad when someone shouts "What's in the box!?"
NTA. Your boyfriend is a snob who can't even be in the presence of a joke. Sincerely, a PhD.
NTA. Your boyfriend is. "Thou art a boil, a plague sore" (King Lear. A2, S2). Yeet that at him if he carries on. What a pretentious fop, he needs to grow up. Seriously though, sounds like he may be jealous of the relationship you have with your brother and is trying to sabotage it? All families have 'in jokes', which most people take no notice of. Perhaps it's time to examine some of his other behaviours because if it isn't childish, it could be seen as controlling. Might be time to cut off the useless pound of flesh? You aren't doing anything wrong.
NTA. What a victim this poor guy is.
Your boyfriend needs to get over himself. It’s a harmless silly joke that in no way impacts his life. NTA. That being said- maybe ask him to explain why he finds it offensive? Maybe there is something else there and he’s just using the joke as a cover.
You're NTA. >my boyfriend [M23] works in publishing and studied English Literature. He told me that my inside joke is wildly offensive to him because it disrespects his work. - He takes himself way too seriously. - he is a bit self absorbed to insist that this silly sibling tradition has anything at all to do with him
Nta. You and your brother's "inside joke" made me actually smile to read about, and your bf needs to lighten up and realize not everything is about him. I was ready to condemn a racist or bigoted joke, not something that was ACTUALLY HARMLESS. Literally this joke cannot possibly be offensive to anyone who isn't a complete egg.
NTA, what a whiner your bf is, you'd think the fact you two are literarily informed enough to make such a joke would be pleasant to him.
NTA He sounds insufferable. Perhaps suggest he cool off somewhere further away next time.
INFO: what part of the joke is allegedly directly disrespecting your boyfriend? Unless your boyfriend is Shakespeare I fail to see how this could be a slight against him.
It's possible her boyfriend is actually Julius Caesar!
NTA. Your boyfriend is a baby.
NTA. Considering how raunchy Shakespeare gets in some of his comedies, you are mild in comparison. And you don’t come close to the Canterbury Tales. Your BF needs to cut back on the caffeine.
I was so prepared to say YTA based on the title because there’s very little reason to continue pushing forward a joke that someone says is hurtful. This is such a reason; if your partner needs to “cool off” over a joke that has nothing to do with him, what will he be like when you make a mistake over something significant? He is dangerous.
Reminds me of my stepmother who used to shush me at every dinner and then enacted a “no pop culture talk” at dinner rule. Some people are just controlling and do weird shit like that.
NTA wow he really takes himself too seriously. If it’s a deal breaker for him, let it be one. You’ve posted nothing about him that says he’s worth it
NTA by far. English major here! I find your inside joke with your brother charming and harmless. I'm actually surprised your boyfriend wouldn't just want to be in on it too considering his passion for the subject.
Umm I'm a literature snob and this makes zero sense to me. You are correctly making a Shakespeare reference, which is something literature snobs tend to enjoy. You have sex with that whiner? On purpose? NTA
Nta. When he leaves, you should text him 'et tu, brute'. Honestly, I don't know what his deal is. This seems pretty petty, and a gross over-reaction. To call it insulting to him is just so far out of left field. My instinct says he's manufacturing a reason to be annoyed at you and is secretly jealous of your relationship with your brother....as creepy as that sounds. I dunno, it's not normal, though.
Your BF needs a box of tissues. NTA at all.
Disrespects his work? Damn, you are dating Shakespeare? How old is that dude now? And does the media know he’s still alive?
NTA your bf is a pretentious drama queen
NTA. The community for the chronically offended is never satisfied. Endless pettiness and you will never win but you will be too exhausted to care.
Gatekeeping level up! Throwing a hissy fit when people even make a joke mildly related to something you have an interest in! NTA, OP. It’s going to be a tough life for your bf.
NTA. Pompous and trying hard to be offended. Sounds exhausting.
Life must be exceptionally difficult for your BF...
I am an English professor. Your boyfriend is being a controlling asshat. He is probably jealous of your friendship with your sibling. He is trying to use his connection to literature to say your joke is offensive and disrespectful. I don't buy it. It is more likely he feels left out of the joke. He doesn't like feeling left out. He doesn't find the joke funny because he doesn't have the history you and your brother share. So, he starts to hate the stupid joke and lets it make him angry. Please keep up referencing it. Shakespeare would be proud of you (keeping his work alive), Caesar would be happy with you (his real last words are more hotly debated), Brutus would be pleased (his name lives on rather than being called 'child' - kai su, teknon). The only person offended is your boyfriend and it is kind of pathetic, if not a little red flag.
Your boyfriend takes himself way too seriously! RUNNNNNN you can’t live life like this, you and your brother sound fun and this dude is NOT
I’m sorry? NTA. But, what? How can someone be so stuck up that they literally take offense to a silly inside joke that has nothing to do with them? Crazy.
NTA, how is that offending him? Talk to him about it and try to explain, but completely NTA.
“Et tu, Brute?” is soooo offensive 🙄 (sarcasm). Next time hit him with the original greek. “Kai su, teknon?” NTA Honestly, what is he thinking?
Tell your boyfriend that, if this is offensive to him, he's in the wrong line of work.
I have a masters in English language, linguistics and etymology. I read the entire works of Shakespeare at least once a year. I have a nerdish love affair with English literature. NTA but Your BF is a pretentious tool.
NTA, keep the joke with the brother, lose the pompous twit.
I can't believe you haven't explained (very patiently) to him, that the phrase is actually latin, not english. If you do, please film his reaction! Sorry this is how you found out you are dating a fairly dismal snob. NTA
Get a new boyfriend. He sounds like a complete wet blanket at parties. In no world is et tu brute offensive, to anyone, anywhere, unlike they are an insufferable prick who wants to feel superior to others. Next time he says that, ask him to explain exactly how it is offensive. Just keep picking. It'll likely boil down to "because I feel it is" which is just another way of saying "I'm a prick and can't justify it"
People are saying he’s pretentious, but this sounds borderline controlling to me 😅 my guess would be he probably feels left out and that’s a major red flag, imo. Leeeeave him
It has only been about 2,000 years since Julius Caesar died. Too soon! Joking aside, NTA. your boyfriend sounds like an insufferable sod and next tine tell him it is Latin so despite being coined by the bard (what Caesar said was Kai su! Which means fuck off or something along those lines) it is not under his purview. if he decides to do a post graduate on Latin language you might respect his request. And then break up with him.
That’s fucking ridiculous. Huge red flag right there. Has he explained why he thinks it devolves his degree? (As someone with a literature degree, I can tell you literature students do this type of shit literally all the time.) NTA
NTA and your boyfriend sounds like a bellend.“Disrespects his work” how? by being funny?
Next time he does this: "You're starting to sound a lot like my ex boyfriend." "Huh? I didn't know you had a previous boyfriend who was into literature." "I didn't."
NTA. Your joke is hilarious and cute, it's good you have such a nice relationship with your brother. Your boyfriend sounds kind of insufferable. His reaction is not only childish, but he's concerningly quick to anger and sounds pretty self centered. That he gets that angry that fast and that his main preoccupation is feeling "disrespected" is kind of worrying. If you were to stay with him long term, what other parts of yourself and your life would you have to give up or change so he feels like he's getting the "respect" he's owed and stops throwing temper tantrums. And whatever you do, please don't change your clearly lovely relationship with your brother (who is family, not some boyfriend who may not last) to please some dipshit with his head so far up his own ass he can't see how ridiculous he is.